Вы находитесь на странице: 1из 20

Aug username:englishcall2014 password:saybox001 or saybox000

Finish
Student ed
dorothy 31 5 L9-L10 5/19

L10-L12 6/4
luna 9
15 179458535

n.jessie 7+8 2 L5-L5 5/21

alice news news - N2-N1 6/2


22+50 22+9

summer 7.5 3 L6-L8 1/21

sophie 7 6.5 L15-L15

donghui 10 14.5 N26-N25 9/12

erin 51 7 L7-L8

liz 50 28 N30-N36 5/19

jessie 20 11 L3-L3 10/20

Lown-Lown
n.jessica 8
21 3/

will 18 2 L5-L5 5/19

mike 6 N20-N22 5/21


6

thea 16 3 L3-L4
Aug
Finis
Student hed
alina 30 28 N14- N7 8/13
shon 30 7.5 N10-N 15/3/2 4/16
barbie 10 3 N2-N-2 4/16
lily 21+22 18+10 L30-L36 2/6
zoe 18 9.5 L13- L15/18 8/13
30 7.5 N10-N 15/3/2 4/16

thea 10 7 N15- N16 x23 8/22


helen N2- N x23 8/22
2 4.5
melody 10 6.5 N11- N13 x23 8/22
max 30 13 N22- N27
22+10
N3-N43 12/17
21+22 .5
30 28 N14- N7 8/13
30 7.5 N10-N 15/3/2 4/16

steve FT- birthdays


rladudrnjs4 28/40
1ovesom@naver.c
ann AH3 13-3 /116
om 13/20
sehoon FT- effects of technology
2ehunk@naver.com. 9/20
vivan /vivian 2/20 AH1 9 practice/104
jun FT - animals and pets
clangor515 20/20
daeho AH3-5 Friday FT
5/20
gill FT social issues
youngill choi - gill 17/20

http://www.ielts4arab.cmom/page/8

The way in which the candidate has responded to the task is a strong point of this script. It is a well-developed answer that addresses the issues
relevantly and at length. The writer introduces the topic, examines both sides of the argument and expresses a clear position. Points are
wellargued and supported with examples.

The answer is well-organised and the message is easy to follow with clear paragraphing and linking of ideas. There are too many errors in
cohesion, however, and some linkers are not always fully appropriate, so this limits the rating for this criterion.

A good range of vocabulary is used accurately and precisely, in spite of one or two awkward expressions and some rare errors. It could be improved
more if synonyms were used for redundant expressions

Similarly, a good range of structures is used but there are too many minor errors and omissions (such as in the use of prepositions and basic
subject/verb agreement). Nevertheless these mistakes do not reduce the clarity of the answer This answer summarises the key features of
both charts and integrates them well. Clear trends are identified and supported with appropriately-selected figures. The answer
could only be improved by adding an introduction to the general topic of the charts.

The information is well organised, with a clearly-signalled progression. Linking words are used accurately and precisely, although
there is occasional omission. Paragraphing is used well initially, but lapses in the later section.

A wide range of structures is used and most sentences in this answer are accurate. Errors are rare and do not affect
communication in this answer.

21 words in one complete line x 11 complete lines = 220 insufficient word count

Good range of vocabulary although with some errors in word form and awkward word choice
You can improve it by using more formal expressions and using synonyms for redundantly used words

Was able to make good and clear sentence structures although with some errors in subject-verb agreement, verb
tense and omissions on articles and preposition
Incorrect verb tense Missing preposition Unnecessary preposition

Missing article redundant statement Should not be capital letter

Missing word in between Redundant expression-better use synonyms, pronouns or rephrase

Incorrect article Incorrect sentence fragmenting

Unnecessary word incorrect preposition Incorrect grammar

Unnecessary article incorrect word order Weak sentence structure

Plural form for verb Incorrect word used incorrect spelling

Singular form for verb strange expression what do you mean?

Incorrect punctuation mark missing contraction missing transition expression

Incorrect word form weak expression Vague statement what do you mean?

Unnecessary comma missing comma Quite a very long sentence weak sentence fragmenting

Weak strategy Strange choice of expression/word - what do you mean?

Better not to use but, and, because and or in the beginning of a sentence this are conjunctions which connects to clauses

To be honest, I dont understand what you mean

Incomplete idea since you used the expression whether you need to mention both sides of the argument

Avoid using question sentence structure the task is for you to express your ideas , not as your examiners opinion

Do not use the word you / your because it means your examiner use a general term
It is unnecessary to mention your opinion in the discuss both views essay in the introduction
You can mention it in the 3rd body paragraph or conclusion

Weak transition expression can be used for spoken English but not for formal/academic writing

Be careful with using absolute expressions they make the idea wrong and gives an impression that you have limited
knowledge

Since you used the expression whether you need to mention both sides of the argument

Remember that the chart is not included in the answer sheet so this expression will not make sense; besides, its not below, it is
above

It could have been better if you briefly discussed the opposing side of the argument

the introduction paragraph is unnecessarily long

aeryllamplified

864343302

The candidate has made a good attempt to describe the graphs looking at global trends and more detailed figures. There is, however, some
information missing and the information is inaccurate in minor areas. The answer flows quite smoothly although connectives are overused or
inappropriate, and some of the points do not link up well. The grammatical accuracy is quite good and the language used to describe the trends is
well-handled. However, there are problems with expression and the appropriate choice of words and whilst there is good structural control, the
complexity and variation in the sentences are limited.

The length of the answer is just acceptable. There is a good attempt to describe the overall trends but the content would have been greatly
improved if the candidate had included some reference to the figures given on the graph. Without these, the reader is lacking some important
information. The answer is quite difficult to follow and there are some punctuation errors that cause confusion. The structures are fairly simple and
efforts to produce more complex sentences are not successful.

It is better you presented these details in a manner of analysis. I mean compare the figures
of males and females or the year recorded highest numbers and the lowest numbers. What
you've written above do not present any comparison or analysis.
It seems you have an understanding of overall structure. But make your writing more
presentable.
This report covers the requirements of the task. The main trends and features were sufficiently developed. The
candidate has arranged ideas coherently, though at times they report data in a repetitive way. The range of
vocabulary is adequate. There are a few errors in grammar and word choice (mouse over the underlined words
shows suggestions for improvement). Overall, this task response meets the expectations and seems good enough
to achieve Band 7.

The reason for writing is very clear in this letter but it is not clear who the letter is to. The writer gives information to cover
allthree bullet points, but only one is well extended, and the whole response is underlenght at 135 words, so it loses marks
for this.The information is organised and it is easy to follow the message. A range of linkers is used across the answer and they
aregenerally accurate, but in some places, especially the first paragraph, sentences are not well-linked.The range of vocabulary
is sufficient for the task and there are some quite precise expressions. There are no errors in wordform, but some very basic
spelling errors occur. In terms of grammar, the range is rather limited with many very shortsentences and few complex
structures. Grammar is generally well-controlled, however, with only a few minor errors andoccasional inappropriate punctuation

Better organize your paragraph this way


1. Introduction - paraphrase the question
2. Overview - describe 2 main or general things
3. Details
4. Details

Assessment:

Task Response: 5.0

Was able to understand


the examiner is looking for 4 things: the task and give ideas to
discuss both sides of the
Answer to all parts of the
task (you covered all keywords, both argument although some
topic key words and goals keywords) ideas could have been
Present a clear position better expressed and
throughout the essay (state your
developed
position in the introduction, explain in
detail this position in the body, and
reiterate this position in the
conclusion)
Extend support main
ideas/topic sentences (includes
language that tell you to support
ideas, appropriate tones and
viewpoints, and examples from
experience)
Write enough words (should
be at least 150 for task 1 and 250 for
task 2, should not be wordy)
Cohesion and Coherence: 6.0

the examiner is looking for 3 things: Was able to make some


logical ideas with clear
Paragraphing (has a clear topic
sentence or main idea which should paragraphing and
be the first sentence; with enough organization is easy to
details and examples; with closing follow
sentence)
Logical organization of the Not enough transition
essay (main ideas should be
Expressions and
progressing meaning one paragraph is
linked to the others especially to the connectives to link ideas
central idea or position in the
introduction) And some of it were
Cohesive devices need to be awkward
used well (sentences should be
linked smoothly to each other, the
easiest way to do this is with
conjunctive adverbs, but there are
better ways like repetition of key
phrase/words, synonyms, pronouns,
sentence patterns)
Lexical Resource: 6.0

the examiner is looking for 4 things: Some good use of


cohesive devices with
Range of vocabulary (uses
less common words, words used proper collocation.
precisely, minimal repeated words, not
wordy) range of vocabulary is ok
Spelling (frequency of error) although with some errors
Collocation (word combination in word form, spelling and
makes sense, not just one correct awkward word choice
word but a group of correctly related You can improve it by
words) using more
Word families (words are in the
correct form, correct parts of speech) formal/academic
expressions and using
synonyms for redundantly
used words

Try not to use the same


expressions/words closely
to each other- always use
synonyms/pronouns

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5.0

the examiner is looking for 4 things: With an attempt to use a


combination of simple
Accuracy of grammar (how
many sentences are error free, what sentences and complex
kinds of mistakes were committed, sentences.
accuracy of simple and complex
grammar, ) although with some errors
Range of grammar (uses more in subject-verb
complex structures, sentences are
agreement, verb tense,
clearly organized)
punctuation marks,
articles and prepositions
and omissions of words

Avoid making long


sentences weak
sentence fragment

Needs more complex


sentences.

Some structures lead to


confusion in the thoughts.

Good job. Practice makes


perfect.

OBS: 5.5

2Conclusion/ suggestions and Tip for the day


Make sure to allot time for editing and checking for minor errors like word choice, word form, spelling, prepositions, and
grammatical errors. This will lessen deductions in your scores.
Read as many good sample answers as you can so you can get some ideas, even learn expressions and structures
It is quite important that you not expand your ideas but also develop it. The organization : Main Idea/General Idea Reason/
Details or more specific explanation and Example is a very good way to express ideas and give ample support to it.
Make sure that the essay gives a well-developed answer that addresses the issues relevantly and at length. You must introduce
the topic clearly; examine both sides of the argument and express a clear position. Points are wellargued and supported with
examples.
As much as possible, avoid passive voice of sentence structure it can be confusing or make your idea vague if not used
properly.
Attempt in not using the same words/expressions close to each other and as much as possible not more than three times it will
help you have a better range of vocabulary.
Sometimes, simple but clear and strong expression ideas are more important than using difficult words or too complicated
sentence structures.
Each body paragraph has to include: the topic sentence, supporting sentences (2-3 sentences), development sentences (evidence:
example, experience, data). In many languages (English included), there are many ways to develop a body paragraph, which
results in a situation where that topic sentence is not the first sentence. But you are advised to put the topic sentence at the
beginning of each body paragraph. Dont be creative in this case.
Avoid all informal ways of writing. There are some rules of writing you should follow. For example: no abbreviations, no 1st
and 2nd pronoun or possessive (I, you, me, my, your), except in conclusion where you have to state your opinion.
The problem with very long essays is that it is difficult to accomplish since you only have 40 minutes to accomplish the task. Be
realistic.
In essays for Discuss both views and give your own opinion, it is important to be able to equally discuss both and identify
your opinion. Is it possible to have a middle opinion? Yes, there are questions where middle is possible, such as in this question.
Here are possible organizations that you can do for parallel paragraphing while meeting all the requirements.
1. Own opinion:
Introduction: general statement + mapping of the two opinions + thesis statement
Body 1: Discussion of the opposite opinion. {Provide at least two reasons to support this claim.}.
Body 2: Discussion of own opinion. (On the other hand, I strongly believe that (Provide at least two supports)).
Conclusion: Reiterate the two opinions: Although a growing number of individuals assert that + opposite opinion, I
still agree that + own opinion or you can give a recommendation instead))
With this organization, you are able to discuss both the views, organize your essays that there is no confusion, and you are able
to present your own opinion.

The final version of the article


Revision:

The changes you find here are only grammatical and mechanical. Any change in content is for you to incorporate. Ideas set in
bold (if any) are the ones that need to be improved, developed or changed.

Edited by: teacher jasmine


Hello dear student,

We are very pleased to have you seek our services. I hope Papa English will be able to satisfy you as we do our best to help you
with your IELTS/TOEFL review.

To begin with, please work with me as we go over your essay.

Better arrange your ideas in this way


Introduction rephrase of the topic sentence + opinion + thesis statement
1st body paragraph strongest idea in relation to your opinion
2nd body paragraph supporting idea
3rd opposite idea
Conclusion recommendation
With this organization, you are able to discuss both the views, organize your essays that there is no confusion, and you are able
to present your own opinion.
Recommendation for the conclusion will make it more impressive and prevents redundancy of statements

Better arrange your ideas in this way


Introduction rephrase of the topic sentence + opinion + thesis statement
1st body paragraph answer the first question
2nd body paragraph answer the second question with strongest idea in relation to your opinion
3rd opposite idea
Conclusion recommendation

With this organization, you are able to discuss both the views, organize your essays that there is no confusion, and you are able
to present your own opinion.
Recommendation for the conclusion will make it more impressive and prevents redundancy of statements

Assessment:

Task Achievement: 6.0


the examiner is looking for 4 things:

Overview (Mention two of the Introduction: Able to


most noticeable or important trend) introduce the charts.
Grouping (group the data
into two and compare them in Body: Some comparisons
separate paragraphs) done, but can be improved
Write enough words (should by using more variations,
be at least 150 for task 1 and 250 for clarity and better strategy
task 2, should not be wordy) Overview: With an overview

Cohesion and Coherence: 7.0

the examiner is looking for 3 things: With some logical ideas

Paragraphing (has a clear Organization was quite easy


topic sentence or main idea which to follow
should be the first sentence; with
enough details and examples; with With clear paragraphing
closing sentence) Some good use of cohesive
Logical organization of the devices and comparative
essay (main ideas should be words
progressing meaning one paragraph is
linked to the others especially to the
central idea or position in the
introduction)
Cohesive devices need to
be used well (sentences should be
linked smoothly to each other, the
easiest way to do this is with
conjunctive adverbs, but there are
better ways like repetition of key
phrase/words, synonyms, pronouns,
sentence patterns)
Lexical Resource: 6.0
the examiner is looking for 4 things:

Range of vocabulary (uses Some good use of cohesive


less common words, words used devices with proper
precisely, minimal repeated words, not collocation.
wordy)
Spelling (frequency of error)
Collocation (word range of vocabulary is ok
combination makes sense, not just although with some errors in
one correct word but a group of word form, spelling and
correctly related words) awkward word choice
Word families (words are in You can improve it by using
the correct form, correct parts of more formal/academic
speech) expressions and using
synonyms for redundantly
used words

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6.0

the examiner is looking for 4 things: With an attempt to use a


combination of simple
Accuracy of grammar (how sentences and complex
many sentences are error free, what sentences.
kinds of mistakes were committed,
accuracy of simple and complex although with some errors in
grammar, ) subject-verb agreement,
Range of grammar (uses verb tense, punctuation
more complex structures, sentences marks, articles and
are clearly organized) prepositions and omissions of
words

Avoid making long sentences


weak sentence fragment

Needs more complex


sentences.

Some structures lead to


confusion in the thoughts.

Good job. Practice makes


perfect.

OBS: 6.5

2Conclusion/ suggestions and Tip for the day


Make sure to allot time for editing and checking for minor errors like word choice, word form, spelling, prepositions, and
grammatical errors. This will lessen deductions in your scores.
It is important that the report covers the requirements of the task. The main trends and features should be sufficiently developed.
Arrange your ideas coherently, and not report data in a repetitive way. It is better you presented the details in a manner of
analysis when comparing the categories.
Read as many good sample answers as you can so you can get some ideas, even learn expressions and structures
The problem with very long essays is that it is difficult to accomplish since you only have 20 minutes to accomplish the task. Be
realistic.

One very common mistake in Task 1 is to use grammar and vocab that is too simple and to use
the same grammar and vocab too many times. When you practice, get used to using as many
different ways to say things as you can and get familiar with how to include some complex
grammar structures.

One of the key things is to practice every day.

Vary your language


As with any task 1, this is important. You should not keep repeating the same structures. The key
language when you write about charts is proportions and percentages.

Common phrases to see are "the proportion of" or "the percentage of"

However, you can also use other words and fractions. These are some examples:

A large number of people

over a quarter of people

a small minority

A significant number of people

less than a fifth

This table presents some examples of how you can change percentages to fractions or ratios:

Percenta Fraction
ge

80% four-fifths

75% three-quarters

70% seven in ten

65% two-thirds

60% three-fifths

55% more than half


50% half

45% more than two


fifths

40% two-fifths

35% more than a


third

30% less than a third

25% a quarter

20% a fifth

15% less than a fifth

10% one in ten

5% one in twenty

If the percentages are not exact as above, then you can usequalifiers to make sure your description remains
accurate. Here are some examples:

Percenta Qualifier
ge

77% just over three


quarters

77% approximately three


quarters
49% just under a half

49% nearly a half

32% almost a third

This table presents some examples of how you can change percentages to other phrases:

Percenta proportion / number / amount /


ge majority / minority

75% - 85% a very large majority

65% - 75% a significant proportion

10% - 15% a minority

5% a very small number

Make sure that you compare general trends, differences and similarities; and make sure you back
this up information from the diagram. DONT just write a list of all the information, and DONT
focus too much on all the details.

The final version of the article


Revision:

The changes you find here are only grammatical and mechanical. Any change in content is for you to incorporate. Ideas set in
bold (if any) are the ones that need to be improved, developed or changed

Edited by: teacher jasmine


Hello dear student,

We are very pleased to have you seek our services. I hope Papa English will be able to satisfy you as we do our best to help you
with your IELTS/TOEFL review.

To begin with, please work with me as we go over your essay.

When describing a flow chart, you should use different transition expressions that are used for
occurrence / sequence / chronology
First, Second, Third
Next
After that
Then
Afterward
Later
Thereafter
Finally
Lastly
Eventually
Following this
Synonyms for step
Stage
Next
Phase
Level
Period
Process
Development
Part

<<< pubb0833@outlook.com yeronicA1 use micsoft to log , new qq , 1015735657 yeronicaRex, Today 1:57 AM
QQ764900614
ckhjy@qq.com
Cathy
2015.10.17 new skype pubb0833@outlook.com yeronicA1 use micsoft to log , new qq , 1015735657 yeronica

vera verazhou994@gmail.com skype: +19029218083/vevera994 want to have a mock test

just a reminder:
if the teacher is going to be absent for / wants to cancel the class for whatever reasons and did not inform the student an hour
before the class, 30 minutes is added to the total class time of the student

if the student is absent/cancelled the class not an hour before the class for whatever reasons, 30 minutes is deducted from the
total class time of the student

You know when you get the whisper of a melody in your head, or the murmur of a song? And you have the gut feeling that if you
could just hear the rest of it, just capture the musicthe need an ache as frustrating as it was piercingyoud have something
f**king amazing?

describe a skill that you would like to learn

what skill is it

how would you learn it

what benefits can you can get from learning it

why would you like to learn this skill

describe an advertisement you saw or heard that you liked


what was the advertisement
where and when you saw/read/heard it
what was the advertisement about
why did you like it
what is something you borrowed from someone
what it was
who you borrowed it from
what did you use it for
was it useful for you

describe an impressive dinner you have had with your friends


when and where
who you were with
why you had that dinner
how did you feel about the experience

Swell, sorry but thats all I have in my repertoire of words to say at the moment

I am happy to say categorically that I have found no other country that aligns more with my view of the future than New
Zealand,

Похожие интересы