Creative Writing

Pain, constant never-ending pain engulfs my body in a suffocating blanket, almost unbearable to the
point of numbness. Kiara! Kiara! Are you okay?! The sluggish blinking of my eyes continue in an
attempt to regain my vision that had been unknowingly lost, yet the constant pressure towards my
head giving me an indication of the cause. My mind in a confused mess tries to make an
understanding of the situation, so many senses activated by the surroundings I cannot see but
rather smell, hear, taste and touch. The scent of burning rubber and overpowering stench of gas burn
my nose with an uncomfortable itch. Gas? Mum! the cry intended to come out loud and filled with
concern rather than the scratchy desperate child like plead. The recollection of the crash floods my
mind, the speed of which it happened hindering my complete understanding of the event. All I
remember being the deafening collision of fast travelling cars, the distinct sound of grinding metal
as the right side of our car caved in, the passenger side. My side.
As the world slightly clears, still somewhat a broken lens going in and out of focus, the world spins
until the point it reaches reality, in which I realise the car had flipped the wrong side up.
Hunny, what wrong? Are you okay? Oh God Im so sorry Wincing as I try to turn my head to
inspect my mother, her usually proudly kept demeanour was now beaten and battered, what I was
feeling physically displayed through the several cuts and bruises that adorned her pale skin. Broken
down wrenching sobs consume her profusely apologising for hurting us, saying it was her fault.
Us.Jayden.
Drip drip drip, droplets of blood splash against the broken glass, suffocating smoke seeps through
the car, as I turn around to check on my little brother. The last image I see before fading into
unconsciousness being the limpness of his body and blood.

***

A flash of white blinds me, I try to shield my eyes from the purity yet only to realise that it
surrounds me. Nothing. A surreal room of white and nothing else, no concept of and en or a
beginning only an empty void. from my laid down position I slowly stand to my feet unsure of
where I am. Heaven maybe? Had I died during the accident? Each step I take taking me into the the
past, future and present of where I am,m a place based on a metatemporal concept.
then all of a sudden, a speck, so prominent, so contrasted against the nothingness grows amongst
mid air, I hesitantly run towards in desperate to escape from this insanity, for the fear if I was to stay
here any longer thered be no escape, yet still afraid of what was to be discovered but what had I to
lose? Lost in a world what opportunity may present itself again? Uncertain

Two officers race past me in a hurried yet controlled manner, analysing my surrounding I come to a
realisation that Ive returned back to reality. Sirens of all sorts police, ambulance and fire brigade
Excuse me sir! Jogging towards the paramedics, in attempt to gain their attention I raise my hand
tapping them on the should, only for my hand to go through them. My heart drops to my stomach,
confusion and anxiety fill me, a terrible nightmare.
Before dwelling on that fact, upon a gurney a flash of pink beneath a cover has me following the
three paramedics rolling it into the van. Its me. An oxygen mask wrapped around my head, my eyes
closed shut in unconsciousness, looking as peaceful as sleeping if it wasn't for the multiple
bruisings flawing my body.
Okay lets get her in the van, just got the call brother DOA, mothers getting checked on
DOAOvering my mouth in shock my eyes well up in tears no sound escapes me, disbelief and
denial in the fact that Id never see the youthful innocent face of my brother, never would we argue
as siblings do, never would i say by to him.
Unaware that Id come into the van with them the paramedics continue on taking my vitals as I sit
Its all up to you baby girl, fight for your mother, you're all she has

The image of burden is plastered of the doctors face, for what he had to tell my mother was
seemingly painful.
Doctor, doctor please tell me my children are fine Mum pleads. Standing besides him, he is unable
to raise his head to physically face her as he delivers the verdict. Oh no.
Maam your daughter is in a stable condition however I regret to inform you due to the swelling of
the brain theres almost a certain chance your daughter will have PTA. For how long is yet to be
determined due to her case being so severe. As for your sonIm very sorry for your loss
Collapsing her sisters arms, my mother cry in agony, pain filled screams echo through the hospital
not those of physical pain but something of a much more deeper meaning. She cries for the lose of
her children one through dead and the other, me, through personality.
It was all my fault She hiccups between cries the red light I remember it how badly I wanted to
scream and proclaim her innocence.

Mum! Mum Im right here! Yelling so loud praying shed hear me, ignoring the part of me that
knows its useless. her image quickly begins to distance itself from me, the feeling every getting to
her growing weaker and weaker as she become further and further from my reach although I am not
moving. Collapsing to my near in a pile of tears and despair, i just cry. I cry for my mother in losing
her children, I cry myself for my brother, I cry for father wishing he was here and I cry for myself.
With no concept of time who knows how long I just sat there, no motivation or purpose to do
anything other than that. Only when I was interrupted did I move.

Childlike laughter fills that air, sounds of joy and innocence. Annoyed at the universes choice in
signs, sending a contradiction to my emotions, as if teasing the life Id now succumb top with one I
had not too long ago. Trying to ignore the sound my head doesn't stray from my lap, wallowing in a
____ of self-pity.

Dad, ahhhh! the faint sound of a little girls delight sounds almost like an echo, gradually getting
louder and louder, to the point of reality. My tears cease momentarily, creasing my forehead in
confusion I wipe my tear soaked face slightly raising my head up to investigate the sound,
temptation and curiosity getting the better of me. Only to discover a change in scenery.

Bright skies of crystal blue without a cloud in sight, the ray of the suns lighting up every inch of the
land beneath it, giving Earth almost its own halo. A field of sunflowers not yet ready for harvesting,
just at the point of its life in which they proudly display their beautiful petals of gold.

Before my father had passed, we had a family tradition in which we would go on a road trip, my
mother, brother, him and I. For days on end driving through the country side of which worries of
work, school or drama at home were left behind, embracing in the company and love we offered to
each other for we knew that was most precious valuable we had in this world. My mother, before
the passing of Dad, had a very ambitious nature, loving anything and everything that would give her
a sense of freedom or peace. I guess after she had us the extremity of this was take down, from cliff
diving and parachuting to more simpler forms of freedom. My dad would do anything for, their love
for each other so deep and incomparable that to this day my aspirations for love seeming from them.

While driving wed mindlessly follow dirt road, only somewhat aware of where we were and where
we were goung, it s a wonder ow wed never gotten lost. Somehow mum had a nose for beauty and
because of this only she could drive.Stopping only when she sensed there would a treasure of nature
that would be a sin to not appreciate.

Three years ago our family would unknowingly take the last road trip forever. For After Dad died so
did mums adventurous spirit. Itd been three hours into the trip, with continuous farms being passed
and the mass of houses long gone, with only sparked housing of those who own land.

Mum had all of a sudden pulled onto the side of the road, turning round to the backseat she smiled
to her 9 and 5 year old children asking us if we were ready. We couldn't see anything yet as the hill
she had parked in front covered what was on the other side. Yet what we discovered when standing
upon the hill would be by far the most memorable family moment, none of us would forget. The
beautiful scenery of the sunflower fields and the clear blue skies mixed with the overwhelming love
that surrounded us made it unforgettable.

We spend the whole day there with mum and dad sat upon the hill under a giant white oak tree
looking down onto us as we ran through the fields of lush grass just in front of the sunflowers,
resting in each others arms.

Seeing my fathers face again for the first time in so long, spurred feeling of happiness and love
rather than sadness. Refusing to remember him all these years in fear that reliving what it was like
to first lose him would occur. Now I see I was wrong.

I stood there physically and mentally in that memory, engrossed in this moment in which my family
was whole again, forgetting all the despair that was to come later on, in that moment I just smiled.

Crack, a violent quake interrupting my thoughts, the memory plays on taking no effect to the
tremble, however the harmonious nature sounds belonging to the scene are instead overtaken by
glass like cracks sound, coming in few second intervals echoes through the empty room. Piece by
piece the scene around me begins to fracture, almost as if a mirror was being shattered. Sounds of
laughter and joy dialled down until coming to a complete stop.
Piece by piece the image of our family begins to crumble No no no, Dad! Jayden! a desperate cry,
one that had been cried before, no longer was there a happy memory to be seen in my mind rather
the feeling of losing a loved one. The feeling Id been scared to relive, in reminiscing my father hd
caught up to me.

As the white room Id grown accustom to continues to shatter the feeling of an unknown force
begins to pull me further and further into oblivion. The floor becoming a black hole sucking me
closer and closer to the reality a reality I no longer wanted to be apart of. I fight, clinging to
anything and everything which in my case wasnothing, flailing my arms upwards in hope to
delay my falling. In a futile attempt to change the fate that Id been dealt, knowing when Id wake
up I wouldn't remember, the loss of my brother, the memories my father, I wouldn't be able to
support my mother for how could I, I won't be able to remember even myself. Just as I came here
through light I leave the same. As a bright white light flashes-

***
Beep. Beep. Beep. Where am I? Wincing, my eyes grow accustom to the light that fills the room.
Looking around in this unfamiliar surroundings, everything was so new, so different. A slight
pressure on my hand has me curious, looking to my right the beating of my heart increases and is
shown through the monitor that connects to me. In the corner of the room a woman sleeps on a chair
holding my hand, fear spikes in my heart, hyperventilating I desperately cry for help. Who is she?
Startled awake, eyes of dear caught in headlights she scans the room quickly, dismissing the
possibility of being me. However upon looking down, the moments in which her eyes meet mine
she gasps, tears well inn the woman eyes, a smile of sympathy and relief blesses her face. in a haste
shes by my side and hugging me.
Oh darling she cries into my stomach Ive missed you so much, im so sorry for everything, this
was my fault and I cant explain how much it killed me everyday to know this my fear never
subsides but a feeling of recognition sparks my body.

What happened? Why am I here? she brushes strands of my hair behind my ear that had escaped,
concern fills her features yet a sense of dread as if she had known Id ask.

You don't remember? Anything? The crash, Jaydenme? I shake my head no. the sympathy and
pity I feel for her as she begins to cry grows strong. Incoherently muttering words of despair, a few
words im able to catch in order to make sense of the cause of her weeping, the lose of her two
children.

Baby please youre all I have left clinging onto me as a child would her mother in search for
guidance strength. I wish I could help help her, understand why she needed me or who she was,
overwhelmed and frustrated my mind works its hardest to gather any memory of her even in the
slightest but to avail. Nothing, no memory of anything. Not that this matters right now and you
probably wont believe me but Im your mother. Your name is Kiara and you are 12 years old, we
were in a car crash and Jayden seeming as if she second guesses herself she stares at me for a
second no, it was just me and you, your head it was really bad and doctor says you may never get
your memory back tears stream down her face uncontrollably as she explains.

I believe you it wasn't a lie, something in me knew that this women, whoever she may be, meant
something to me and that all she said made sense but the question still stands. Who am I?