Scaffo

l
for a ding
range
of fict
io
genre n
s!
Story-writing Scaffolds
Upper Primary Book 1

Published 2007 by
Blake Education Pty Ltd
ABN 50 074 266 023
108 Main Rd
Clayton South VIC 3168
Ph: (03) 9558 4433
Fax: (03) 9558 5433
www.blake.com.au

This edition of Story-writing Scaffolds Year 5

is published by arrangement with
Hopscotch Educational Publishing Ltd., UK.
Copyright Hopscotch Educational Publishing Ltd

ISBN 978-1-921143-69-4

Written by Christine Butterworth, Madeline Gogarty and Merryn Whitfield

Publisher: Lynn Dickinson

Editor: Shelley Barons
Typesetter: The Modern Art Prouduction Group
Printed by Xx

COPYING OF THIS BOOK BY EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS

A purchasing educational institution may only photocopy pages within this
book in accordance with The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) and
provided the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a
remuneration notice to the Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.
For details of the CAL licence for educational institutions, contact:

Copyright Agency Limited

Level 19, 157 Liverpool St
Sydney, NSW, 2000

COPYING BY INDIVIDUALS OR NON-EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS

Except as permitted under the Act (for example for fair dealing for the
purposes of study, research, criticism or review) no part of this book may
be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by
any means, without the prior written approval of the publisher. All enquiries
should be made to the publisher.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The authors and publisher would like to thank the Ngarrindjeri Community for
giving their permission to use their Thukeri story in Unit 3 of this book.
 Upper Primary Book 1

Story writing
SCAFFOLDS

CONTENTS

UNIT 1 Sports Stories 8

UNIT 2 M agic Stories 28

UN IT 3 Indigenous Australian Dreaming legends 47

UN IT 4 Play Scripts 63

UNIT 5 Adventure Stories 86

UNIT 6 Chinese Fables 103

UN IT 7 Humorous Stories 120

UNIT 8 Traditional Fairy tales 141

 Upper primary book 1 unit overview
UNIT / GENRE GRAMMAR F O CU S P U NCTU A TI O N WRI TI NG FEA TU RE
FO CU S
1 Story beginnings;
Punctuating complex
Sports Connectives
sentences
How characters are
presented
Stories

2
Magic Stories Direct and reported Setting out and Word play;
speech punctuating dialogue Metaphors and similes

3
Indigenous
Noun groups Paragraphs Sequencing events
Australian
Dreaming Legends

4 Question marks and

Verbs, verb tenses, Conventions of play
Play Scripts auxiliary verbs
exclamation marks;
scripting
Using bold and italics

5
Adventure Connectives; More sophisticated Personification;
Complex sentences punctuation marks Fiction hooks
Stories

6
Word classes;
Chinese Fables Ways to connect
Commas in dependent
Story endings
clauses
clauses

7
Active and passive Sounds in stories
Humorous Stories verbs; Features of
Layout of an official
onomatopoeia,
letter
formal official language alliteration, assonance

8 Contracting sentences Revision of use

Traditional summary, note- of apostrophe for Similes and metaphors
making, editing contractions
fairytales

STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 7

 Helpful hints for
writing a sports story
F

4ELECT
A
SPORT
THAT
IS
FAMILIAR
TO
YOU
F

5HERE
SHOULD
BE
A
STRONG
ELEMENT

SO
YOU
WILL
KNOW
WHAT
TO
WRITE
ABOUT
OF
RIVALRY
BETWEEN
OPPOSING
TEAMS
IT
IN
YOUR
STORY CHARACTERS
CONTRASTED
WITH
STRONG

TEAMWORK
BETWEEN
CHARACTERS
ON
THE

F

%ESCRIBE
YOUR
CHARACTERS
CAREFULLY
SAME
SIDE
5HIS
WILL
GIVE
YOUR
STORY

GIVING
THEM
PARTICULAR
CHARACTERISTICS
A
GOOD
FOUNDATION
AND
MOVE
THE

AND
ABILITIES ACTION
ALONG
F

.AKE
SURE
SOME
DIFFICULTY
OR
F

3EMEMBER
TO
GIVE
YOUR
STORY
A

OBSTACLE
TO
SUCCESS
OCCURS
DURING
POSITIVE
OR
HAPPY
ENDING
YOUR
STORY
WHICH
YOUR
CHARACTER S


HASHAVE
TO
OVERCOME

F

*NCLUDE
SOME
DESCRIPTIONS
OF
THE

SPORTING
ACTION
TAKING
PLACE
IN
ORDER

TO
PROVIDE
INTEREST
AND
HEIGHTEN
THE

EXCITEMENT
AND
TENSION

F

*NCLUDE
SOME
TECHNICAL
SPORTING

TERMS
n
BUT
NOT
TOO
MANY

F

8RITE
IN
THE
THIRD
PERSON
rHEs
rSHEs

OR
THE
FIRST
PERSON
*

#UT
REMEMBER

IF
YOU
WRITE
IN
THE
FIRST
PERSON
YOU

WILL
BE
LIMITED
IN
TERMS
OF
BEING

ABLE
TO
TELL
THE
STORY
ONLY
FROM
ONE

CHARACTERsS
POINT
OF
VIEW

F

:OU
CAN
USE
NAMES
FOR
YOUR

CHARACTERS
THAT
ARE
SIMILAR
TO
THOSE

OF
WELLKNOWN
SPORTS
PERSONALITIES

STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 1 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 21

 Sports story
Scaffold 1
You are going to write a sports story.
To help plan your story, use the framework below.
Choose one option from each stage, or two if the stage is in sections.

Stage One

Introduce the characters and set the scene.

Section A
Once there were two swimmers, Swimmer A and Swimmer B. While Swimmer A showed
a good sporting attitude, Swimmer B would do whatever was necessary to win a race.
They were arch-rivals. They were ambitious and trained every day.
a) They were both teenage girls.
b) They were both teenage boys.
Section B
a) There was bitter enmity between their coaches.
b) Their parents hated one another.

Stage Two

Give the characters a plan/a change/an adventure.

The swimmers found out that they had got through the trials for a really important race.
Section A
a) The winner of this race would also win a big sponsorship deal to promote sportswear.
b) This race was the decider for a place in the Olympic squad.
Section B
Swimmer A and Swimmer B, together with their parents and
coaches, arrived in the city where the race was due to take place.
The race was being held in:
a) Sydney;
b) Melbourne;
c) another city that you know well.
Unfortunately the swimmers were staying in the same hotel!

2 2 STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 1 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION

 Stage Three

Start the characters off on their adventure.

On the morning of the race, Swimmer A was warming up in his/her hotel room.
a) A bouquet of flowers was delivered to the room. The flowers had a strange perfume.
b) Swimmer A opened the door to room service. He/she was pleased that his/her coach
had ordered a light breakfast for him/her.
c) A good luck card was pushed under the door of Swimmer As room. Thinking it was
from a fan, the swimmer opened the card and read it.

Stage Four

Give the characters a problem.

a) As Swimmer A was waiting on the starting block for
the race to begin, he/she started to feel unbearably tired.
b) As Swimmer A was waiting on the starting block for
the race to begin, he/she started to feel dizzy.
c) As Swimmer A was waiting on the starting block for
the race to begin, he/she started to feel sick.

Stage Five

The problem is solved.

a) Swimmer A heard Swimmer Bs mother/coach screaming, Its working! Its working!
b) Swimmer A noticed that Swimmer B was laughing.
Swimmer A understood that the flowers/food/card had contained something that was
making Swimmer A feel tired/dizzy/sick. The flowers/food/card had been sent by
Swimmer B!
Swimmer A became even more determined to win the race! He/she swam the best race
of his/her life, and beat Swimmer B into second place! Remember to describe the race.

Stage Six

Conclude the story.

a) Swimmer B apologised to Swimmer A and said
that it had been his/her mothers/coachs idea to cheat.
b) Swimmer B said that he/she had paid one of the hotel
staff to remove the evidence. Swimmer B said, My plan
didnt work this time, but maybe next time it will!
c) Swimmer Bs coach was arrested. Swimmer B was banned from racing for good.
STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 1 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 23
 Sports story
Vocabulary bank 1
ambitious in despair sponsorship
arch-rivals lane ropes sportswear
black lines lap, round squad
bursting lungs legs like lead starting block
swimmer
coaches Olympic
swimsuit
dive oxygen
Take your marks
ecstatic racing
teenagers
red lane markers
failure training
roar of the crowd
goggles room service water
whistle
hotel splash

My own words

2 4 STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 1 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION

 The Perfect Day

What do you call a three-legged donkey?

A wonky.

Dont you just love jokes? Allow me to introduce

myself! My name is Tom but everyone calls me
Pickles. Pickles is my nick name because its also my
family name, but another reason is that Im always
getting in a pickle. My best friend is called T-Rex, and
hes a dog, but hes very clever, much cleverer than
most of the humans I know.

I try not to get into scrapes; I just think Im whats

known as accident-prone. At least thats what my
mum says. (My mums lovely. Since my dad left
shes had to work really hard in our shop but she
never complains.) She always stands up for me when shes talking to my horrible Uncle Ernie.
(Hes really my mums uncle, but I have to call him Uncle Ernie too, worse luck!) To say hes
like a bear with a sore head is to insult bears big time! But, Rachel, cant you see? The boys a
menace. Hes got to learn. No TV for a week, no computer, no video. In my day, if you behaved
like Tom

Oh, Ernest. Youre far too hard on him. Hes just a bit mischievous, thats all.

Mind you, Uncle Ernie kept quiet for a while

after the day of the letter. Let me give you the
low-down

Your hero (thats me) was sitting eating his

cornflakes when Mum came into the kitchen
in a terrible state. She sank down into a chair,
her face white and screwed up as though she
was going to cry.

Oh, Thomas. Whatever shall I do? Look at

this. She put a piece of crumpled paper in
my hand.

STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 125
 tors
Pratt Solici
Bend
Round-the-
Longb ttom
o

er 2006
31st Octob

etress
The Propri
ermarket
Pickles Sup
ay
The Ridgew
le
Summervil

m
Dear Mada bad Really
O R ib b le of 13 Notso
t, Mr H t, on
e h a lf o f our clien n g to in fo rm you tha
On b riti cate
Su m m e rv ille, I am w w il l b e re quired to va
Street, 007, you se from him
.
January, 2 rrently lea
Monday 8th whic h y o u cu
ss premises
the busine e fact that
n t is owing to th
gre e m e tioned,
in a ti o n of your a o n o f th e aforemen
This te rm en ti your
n b ro u g h t to the att a re b e in g sold from
it has be e ne s
ecream co s of your
r H O R ib ble, that ic n tr a ve n es the term
M hich co
practice w
premises, a
lease. and
p o rt u n it y to wish you
p
takes this o
e fi rm o f Pratt now se a so nal greetin
gs.
Th p ri a te
y the appro
your famil

fully
Yours faith

I Pratt,
ner
Senior Part

Ive never sold an icecream cone in my life! groaned Mum. Only ice blocks.

And this is where the hero of the hour, the knight in shining armour (thats me) came in!

Well, go and see him then, I urged her. I bet Fred Fish Face has been spreading rumours. Go
and tell Mr Ribble the truth and Ill mind the shop for you. Take Uncle Ernie with you to scare
off old Fish Face. (Fred Fisher ran a rival shop in the next street. He was always trying to cause
aggro.)

Thats a great idea, Thomas, if youre sure you can manage.

1 2 6 STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION

Rachel, youre not serious! You must need your head
examining if youre going to leave him in charge.
And I suppose that filthy mutt will be helping him!
chipped in Uncle Ernie helpfully, indicating T-Rex.

Whats thick, yellow and extremely dangerous?

Shark-infested custard.

T-Rex and I went down to the shop and at first

everything went brilliantly. I let him into the garden
and got myself a drink of water. After that I settled
down in the back room with the telly. My fave
program was on: The Knights Of King Arthur.
I knew that, if a customer came in, Id hear the bell.
I was having a lovely daydream, imagining that I was
riding on a white charger along the banks of a fast-
flowing river, when I became aware of a wet feeling
around my ankles. Drip, drip, drip. Oh dear what was that noise? I decided to investigate.

Whats noisy, chaotic and full of water?

The shop, when Pickles is in charge.
(Im sorry, I dont get that one.)

When I emerged from the back room into the front of the shop, I was immediately surrounded
by a mob of screaming customers waiting to be served.

Wheres your mother, Pickles? Whats going on? The bells not working.

Ive been here twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes? Ive been here half an hour. And whats all this water?

I began to feel very sick. I began to suspect

that I had forgotten to turn off the tap when
Id fetched my drink. I began to wish that
the ground would swallow me up whole!

It was at this moment that T-Rex made his

entrance. But he certainly wasnt coming
to my rescue. My so-called best mate
skidded through the door and across the
floor. T-Rex had obviously been having a
great time in the garden; hed managed
to smear himself in lovely mud and pull
down the washing line! He was so proud
of himself that he had trailed the line in
to show me. He had also shown all the
customers my underpants, which had

STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 127
 been hung out to dry! But perhaps his greatest
achievement was the fabulous set of pawprints
hed left all over the floor.

Now I was definitely feeling sick. In the corner

of my eye I could see an angelic-looking three-
year-old, carefully removing a tin of baked beans
from the bottom of a display pyramid which my
mother had lovingly constructed. Now I could see
all of the tins careering around the shop and Mrs
Higginbottom from number 10 tripping over them.

Now I could see a suspicious-looking man with a

mask walking towards me.

Are you in charge of this establishment?

Speechless, I nodded.

Well then, youre being held up. Give me everything in the till. Give it to me now, or else!

My head was spinning. The world went round like a top. I was in charge of the shop and there
was mayhem, madness, total havoc, uproar. I decided to throw in the towel and burst into tears
decided, that is, until I remembered the sneer on my Uncle Ernies face when my mother had
told him that I was going to be boss for the day.

Whats a penguins favourite party-game?

Sardines.

I decided to pull myself together and to stop being such a wimp. I wasnt going to let Uncle
Ernie think that the small matter of managing a flood, a mudbath, a crowd of complaining
customers, a runaway washing line and a burglary would get the better of me, Sir Thomas of
Summerville.

Quick, T-Rex! Grab the scoundrel! (Ive forgotten

to mention how T-Rex got his name, havent
I? Well, hes got the best set of gnashers since
prehistoric times!)

The robber took one look at my faithful friend and

scarpered. Gaping like a horrified goldfish, he ran
for the door. On the way, he became entangled
in the washing line, and so he left in a somewhat
undignified manner, with a pair of socks round his
neck and an old handkerchief stuffed in his mouth!

As for the flood, the mudbath and the customers:

no problem. My mobile came in handy as it meant I
could call up my friend Simon in double-quick time.

1 2 8 STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION

Er hello Simon, are you busy right now?
No? Great! Could you round up the gang
and come over? Theres a spot of bother. No,
nothing too serious.

By the time Mum and Uncle Ernie returned,

the lads and I had the shop looking as good as
new, better in fact! The whole place had been
cleaned until it gleamed! We worked our socks
off until the floor was so spotless that even Mrs
Higginbottom would have eaten her dinner off
it. The customers were all delighted as Id given
them complimentary ice blocks. Peace and quiet
lovely!

What is a ghosts favourite kind of pasta?

Spooketti.

Thomas, youre a wonder! I told you, Uncle Ernie! And, when I explained to Mr Ribble that
Fred Fisher is always making up stories, he told me that hed suspected as much. He said that
we dont need to move premises after all. In fact, hes let me off the rent this month to make up
for all the worry hes caused.

Mum was quite delighted, and so was I. Even Uncle Ernie looked pleased.

I think I owe you an apology, young man, he said sheepishly. You held the fort admirably.

Oh, it was nothing, Uncle Ernest, I replied smugly.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

(Well, you cant beat an old joke, can

you?)

STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 129
 Understanding the grammar and punctuation

Why choose the passive?

Writers sometimes choose to use the passive to conceal the agent of an action in
order to create mystery or curiosity in the mind of the reader. For example:
Mr H O Ribble was informed that the Pickles family had sold icecream cones.
The reader wonders who supplied him with this information.

An agentless passive is also used when the person doing the action is unimportant
or unknown:
The shop was cleaned until it gleamed.
What is important is that the shop was cleaned before Thomas mother returned,
not who did the cleaning.
The use of the passive enables the writer to emphasise the person or thing that is acted
on by the verb, rather than the person who is doing the acting (the agent of the verb).
The writer can show that the subject is at the mercy of forces beyond his/her control.
Mrs Pickles was shocked and distressed by the contents of the letter. She was guided to
a chair by Thomas, and given a cup of tea by Uncle Ernie.
Here the author conveys Mrs Pickles helplessness through her inability to act.
The passive is also a feature of formal, official language as it is impersonal:
The premises which are currently leased from him must be vacated.
However, when the passive is used too much, it can take the life out of the writing.

Setting out a form

1. The writer s al letter
address goes at th
You do not need e top right-hand
to use commas or side of the page.
full stops in the
ge
Official langua
2. Underneath th address.
e address, leave a
line. Then write th
3. Leave a line. e date in full.
On the left-hand
language side of the page,
Formal, official address of the pe
rson to whom yo w rit e the title and
ti ng legal u are sending the
is used for wri 4. Leave a line.
Address the perso
letter.
racts
documents, cont Dear Sir or Dea n to whom you ar
r Madam. e writing as
ers. It
and business lett 5. Leave a line.
Now write the m
that the essage of the letter
is impersonal so use formal, offic
ial language and . Remember to
anced long sentences, so that such letters
reader feels dist ficial sentence clear.
use commas to m
ake the meaning
often contain
An of of the
from the writer.
n many 6. To close the let
text may contai faithfully.
ter, leave a line an
d then use the w
passive. ords Yours
examples of the
is often 7. Leave a line.
The vocabulary Write your name
also like to leave and title undern
ecise, with some space for yo eath. You may
technical and pr ur signature.
set phrases.

1 3 0 STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION

 Name Unit 7 Grammar

Passive verbs

1. Read these sentences containing agentless passives.

A rumour had been spread about the Pickles family.

The shops bell was disconnected very quietly and quickly, while Pickles was watching his
favourite TV program.
Offensive graffiti was frequently sprayed on the supermarket window.

Now write two sentences containing an agentless passive to arouse curiosity

in the mind of the reader. They do not have to be related to the story.

2. Read these sentences containing agentless passives.

The milk was delivered to the shop every morning.

DVDs were often rented out from the selection at the supermarket.

Now write two passive sentences of your own where there is no mention
of an agent because the agent is unimportant or unknown.

3. Read these descriptions of the feelings of Thomas and the robber.

Thomas was sickened by what he saw. He was horrified by the shouting customers,
disappointed by the behaviour of T-Rex and thrown into a panic by the appearance of the
burglar.

The robber was stunned by T-Rexs attack on him, annoyed when he became tangled up in
the washing line and embarrassed by the socks and handkerchief landing in his mouth.

Now write a description of a character, incorporating several passives in order

to emphasise that he/she is merely reacting to external factors, rather than acting.

STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 131
 Name Unit 7 Punctuation

Formal letters

Complete this letter. It is a reply from Mrs Pickles solicitors to Mr Pratt. It contains formal,
official language. Choose the most appropriate word from those in the box below to insert in
each space. Then punctuate the letter. Remember you do not need to punctuate an address.
You should use commas to make the meanings of the sentences clear.

Wright Messup
42 Hognose Rd
Suem

7th November 2006

Mr I Pratt
Pratt Solicitors
Round-the-Bend
Longbottom

Dear Mr Pratt

On of our client Mrs Pickles I am writing in reply to your letter

the 31st October 2006 to the aforementioned Mrs Pickles

In this letter was given to my client that the agreement regarding the
lease of a supermarket premises with your client Mr H O Ribble was to be terminated
with from Monday 8th January 2007. The explanation for this notice to quit
was an allegation that my client had the terms of the lease by
selling merchandise from the business premises on the Ridgeway

As you are no doubt aware Mr Ribble has conceded that this was
entirely without foundation and has decided that not only should this notice to quit
be withdrawn immediately but that no rent should be paid by Mrs Pickles this month
by way of

Please could you in writing that these are the most recent
that you have received from your client to the lease of
the supermarket

I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest

Yours sincerely

Don U Mess-With-Me
( ).

instructions effect notice dated behalf

convenience pertaining contravened compensation
confirm accusation prohibited Senior Partner

1 3 2 STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION

An essential resource for every teacher who wants to
improve their students story-writing skills

The Story-writing Scaffolds series teaches students how to

plan and write stories in a variety of different genres as well as
incorporating specic grammar, vocabulary and writing features.
The books in the series include:

Teachers notes on the genres and text formats

Illustrated photocopiable exemplar stories together
with an annotated teachers version that highlights
the grammar, punctuation and writing techniques used
in the story
Guidance on how to develop specic grammar skills
in students writing
Photocopiable activity sheets to reinforce the grammar
Guidance on how to assist students to write a
particular genre
Notes and tips for students on writing stories
Story scaffolds for each genre that enable students
to choose the course of the story they are writing
Vocabulary banks for each genre, to use and add to

This versatile resource is ideal for shared, guided and

individual writing. It provides a structured, but exible system
for planning stories, which can be applied to any writing lesson.

The eight units in this book cover the story types below:
Magic stories Sport stories
Play scripts Chinese fables
Humorous stories Fairytales
Adventure Indigenous Australian dreaming stories

ISBN 978-1-92114-369-4

Cover illustration: Kirsty Wilson

9 781921 143694 www.blake.com.au