Fundraiser for victims family 5
Tuesday September 30 2014
The
Leader
Robin Brown stands in an Annacis Island parking lot where she was kept locked in a car for 16 nights while her boyfriend worked. Brown is sharing her story with the hope it will help
other women recognize the signs of abuse and seek assistance. EVAN SEAL
KEVIN DIAKIW
Both eyes badly blackened and lacerated
from his punches, she lay crouched in
the car in the fenced-in parking lot on
Annacis Island.
As darkness fell, the temperature in
the car dropped, and her body and mind
became numb. The only sound she could
hear was the incessant thrum of nearby
refrigerator trucks.
She once again wondered how she was
Senior sparks up stroke survivors 13
going to escape, or whether she would
even live to try.
More than once, suicide seemed like the
only solution.
I thought that was my only way out,
says Robin Brown, now 48, who often felt
death would be better than what she was
going through.
Brown, a weightlifter and amateur box-
er, had met Matthew Recknagel in 2011
at the gym where she worked out.
FENCED IN
THAT WENT WRONG
Nineteen years younger than Brown, he
was good looking, charming, smart and
made her laugh. He was a body builder
and mixed martial artist and Brown be-
gan training with him.
In September 2013, they went out for
coffee on a date and started seeing each
other.
However, Brown soon sensed something
was amiss.
I could tell he was starting to be con-
ROBIN BROWN
FELT TRAPPED
IN AN ABUSIVE
RELATIONSHIP
IN A HEARTBEAT
trolling already, she says softly.
At the start, Recknagel insisted she text
him all day, and accused her of lying
particularly about any dealings she had
with other men, including her clients.
On Oct. 17, 2013 she told him she was
going on a business trip with her boss at
the vitamin company where she worked.
He forbade it, but she insisted.
continued on page 8
 8 The Surrey-Nor th Delta Leader Tuesday S eptember 30 2014

Dating and domestic violence not uncommon

MAJORITY OF SURREY WOMENS CENTRE CLIENTS HAVE
SUFFERRED ABUSE DURING SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIPS
KEVIN DIAKIW
Robin Brown felt helpless and alone while
being abused by a man she was seeing, but
the Surrey Womens Centre (SWC) deals with
high volumes of women who are exposed to
dating violence.
More than half of the people who call SWC
fall within that category, says Special Pro-
grams Manager Corrine Arthur. The SWC
receives 4,000 calls in Surrey per year.
Dating violence presents its own unique
challenges, but often has many of the same
hallmarks as abusive long-term relationships.
At the end of the day, it still comes down to
power, control and lots of beliefs about him-
self and about women that theyre not to
be trusted and need a heavy hand and usually
violence to keep them in line, Arthur says.
(Women are also responsible for relationship
abuse, but the majority of offenders are men).
She was not surprised by the experience
suffered by Brown, a woman who was kept
confined in a car for more than two weeks.
There are many things that keep women in
these types of relationships, Arthur says.
It can be as simple as feelings of love for
or responsibility for someone, or it can be
as complicated as children and their safety.
Money becomes a main controlling factor.
One of the first things that happens in a
controlling relationship is that the abuser
takes control of the finances, Arthur says.
That in and of itself can be the factor that
doesnt have people moving forward.
Many people will understandably ask, why
didnt Brown just leave the relationship?
Arthur says its not that easy.
She felt completely trapped. The more ex-
treme cases usually follow that pattern. They
start with those elimination of freedoms.
Arthur encourages people in situations simi-
lar to Browns to call for help quietly.
One of the biggest things women need to
know is when they contact Surrey Womens
Centre is to keep it to themselves, Arthur
says. In fact, limit everybody that might
know. Dont be telling his sister, or your
mother-in-law. That gets back to him and
thats when things can escalate.
Surrey Womens Centre is well-equipped to
help women get out of abusive relationships.
Help can be reached any time by calling 604-
583-1295.

EVERY SIX DAYS IN CANADA, A WOMEN IS KILLED BY HER PARTNER

from page 1 computer, her purse, He pulled her back if she tried to the through her system. mark remorse phase, that I went through
and wrote an email to into the car and police, shed be dead, This was her one and in which the abuser this, because I saw the
her boss saying she punched her in the she recalls. only chance. promises to reform his signs. I tried to get
He punched her in quit. He then deleted face. He called in sick from She grabbed the cab ways, Carey says. out, but obviously I
her left eye, blacken- her email and Face- Still serving a term his delivery dispatch and went straight to Nonetheless, Brown didnt.
ing it badly. book accounts. in the community for job for several days to the police. felt trapped. Shes sharing her sto-
Days later she sent Brown now felt uttering threats and keep tabs on her. Reckna- Its as ry with The Leader in
Recknagel a text mes- completely isolated, assault of another When he returned gel was much a hopes that this wont
sage: Were done. paralyzed with fear, woman in Nanaimo, to his night shift at arrested I thought psycho- happen to any other
He initially agreed, and thought refusing Recknagel kept Brown work, he took Brown shortly logical women.
but he came to her he would never
his demands could be close to him around with him. after and limit as a
house, let himself in fatal. the clock at his moth- He told her she had was sent let me go. Im physical
with a key she had Raising
On Oct. 24, 2013, ers Langley home to stay in the front to jail to embarrassed limit,
given him and told her while Recknagel and where he was serv- seat of his car hidden finish his says awareness
she could not break Brown were driving to ing his sentence. He under a white wool previous that I went Carey,
up with him. He then dinner, he began beat- sneaked Brown into blanket. Recknagel sentence. who has October is National
punched her in her ing her about the back the home while his had taken Browns He also
through this, 30 years Domestic Violence
right eye, splitting and shoulders. She mother was sleeping, wallet, identification faced new because I saw of expe- Awareness Month,
her head open at the rolled down the win- but Brown believes and keys; he had charges rience which was created in
temple. dow, called for help, the mother must have everything that be- including
the signs. I treating 1995 when several
While there, he took and tried to jump out known she was there. longed to her. unlawful tried to get out, people organizations joined
her cellphone, her of the moving vehicle. Recknagel told Brown She was told the car confine- who have forces to draw atten-
door was alarmed and ment or
but obviously I suffered tion to the problem.
if she tried to escape, impris- didnt. trauma. While men also suffer
Recknagel said hed onment, The violence in intimate
ROBIN BROWN relationships, the
know before she could uttering fear is so
Back to navigate her way
around the eight-foot
barbed wire fence. He
threats
and six
counts of assault
great, you
get the
deer-in-the-headlights
majority of victims are
female.
Some facts of vio-

School would catch her, she

remembers him say-
ing, and he would beat
involving Brown and
another woman.
He made a plea
reaction. So its not
possible to walk away.
Its much the same,
lence against women:
Half of all women in
Canada have expe-

Specials! her senseless.

Brown learned quick-
ly not to eat or drink
bargain and pleaded
guilty to uttering
threats and two
Carey says, as a childs
inability to walk away
from a bad parent.
rienced at least one
incident of physical or
sexual violence since
the age of 16
before the nightly 10 counts of assault. He The fact that Brown
On average, every
LARGE SELECTION
hours of confinement, was sentenced to sev- didnt run away from
as there was nowhere en-and-a-half-months Recknagel was actually six days, a woman is
to relieve herself. As in jail. a very well-honed killed by her intimate

OF FRAMES a result, she lost 30 He had an opportu- sense of self-preserva- partner.

pounds. nity for early release tion, Carey says. On any given day in
Court documents on Sept. 9 of this Court documents say Canada, 3,300 women

FOR ANY BUDGET show Recknagel kept

Brown confined in his
year, but opted not to
apply.
Recknagel is con-
sidered a moderate
(and 3,000 children)
are forced to live in
shelters to escape
Chrysler 300 at his Today Brown still risk for assaultive
domestic violence.
Childrens Packages place of work for 16
nights.
struggles with
feelings of guilt and
behaviour towards an
intimate partner and Each year, there are
Available Dr. Susy On Nov. 28, she
overheard him receive
embarrassment that
she didnt act more
if hes taking steroids,
that risk climbs to
40,000 arrests result-
ing from domestic
Pierazzo a call that he would quickly to get out of high. violence.
Comprehensive Eye Exams have to drive delivery, the relationship. His full jail term is Each year, Cana-
dians spend $7.4
meaning he would be But things happened complete on Feb. 9,
for the whole family billion to deal with the

n Optometry Clinic
away from the car. so fast. 2015.
The following day was Brown often thought When Brown looks aftermath of domestic
80% of Learning is done Dr. Riley her opportunity pos- the only way to be back on the experi- violence
through the eyes Hanberg
sibly her only chance
for escape.
completely free from
her abuser would be
ence, she says its hard
not to tally the loss. Source: Canadian Womens
TRUST YOUR She had been gather- by consuming a bottle Ive lost my job, Ive Foundation
Book an VISION AND
ing loose change for
some time, and had
of sleeping pills.
I thought he would
lost my livelihood,
she says, adding shes How to get help:
Appointment EYE HEALTH
accumulated a total of
$25.
never let me go.
She lives in fear of
also lost her sense of
security. Now I live Domestic Violence
Today! TO OUR Dr. Kevin That day she saw a seeing him again. having to look over my Helpline: 1-800-563-
cab pull up to drop Browns therapist, shoulder all the time 0808
Dodgson
PROFESSIONALS! someone off outside
the gate. If there was
Pauline Carey, said
Browns experience
I still have anxiety
when I see the types
Surrey Womens
Centre: 604-583-1295
any time to go, it was is similar to battered of vehicles he used to Surrey RCMP Vic-
S E R V I N G YO U R CO M M U N I T Y S I N C E 1 9 8 9
then. womans syndrome, drive. tims Services Unit:
She opened the door, but at an accelerated Worse, shes lost 604-599-7600
Newton Optometry Clinic the alarm screamed,
and she ran, feeling
pace.
The cycle of violence
some respect for
herself.
VictimLinkBC:
http://www.victim-
#120B-13745 72nd Ave, Surrey 604-597-8636 adrenaline course didnt include the hall- Im embarrassed linkbc.ca