IDAM: HOME AS A GENDERED SPACE

Home is a concept which can only be defined individually and it may also vary on the basis of
culture. It may stand for the country of origin, or a certain region or town. The idea often finds its place by
comparing it to what it is not. Home can be easily defined as the dwelling in which we live and the
comfortable zone of social interaction and relation within it, where there is a prominent place for our
emotions, memories and familiarity as well.
The concept of the home may vary according to the stance we take. For example, a feminist may
view the space of home as the locus of gender dominance and exploitation. On the other hand a person with
a liberal mindset may regard it as a centre of personal liberty whereas; the socialists may regard it as an
obstacle to collective life. Very often the media plays an important role in the formation of these idealized
concepts. This marketing tool has often an important role in shaping the ideas and aspirations of the
common people. We, on the other hand seems to fail to understand that there is really a large difference
between the romantic image as presented by the medias and the concept of what a home really is and should
be.
The picture of the female as the one who cares and nurtures her nuclear family, one who is forever
content in her cozy, comfortable kitchen needs to be challenged. These images, a commonly repeated one
created by the traditional conservative ideologies contribute a major share to the dominant cultural values
which we ourselves and the so called society build up. And as a result women are expected to perform a
major part of the physical labour. The truth is that men and women share almost the same picture when it
comes to the love, warmth and comfort which the very term home evokes in us. But often the perspective
of the man turns out to be more productive when compared to that of the woman.
The concepts of home and family are very much interlinked. In fact, home life in a way depicts a
strong imprint of the modern domestic ideal in which home and family are run together. The family has a
key role in assuring the homes social importance. It is really the family and the relationships between the
kin which helps to provide an explanation for the existence of womens unpaid work, and it is also the
kinship relations which explain the creation of communities. This link between home and family is never a
new concept. Traditional ideologies often view home as the private realm of the woman, while the public
sphere is predominantly the mans space. This idea is not how ever static. We know more women are
entering the public sphere taking up positions once considered to be able to be handled only by men.
However, the idea of home is most often associated with the presence of women as wives and mothers,
especially ideal ones, and it is a powerful one. The association of women with home can be assumed to be
culture specific, as we refer to Mother Earth and Nation as she.
Home can be defined so only when there is a family filling the concerned space. Otherwise it can
only be called a house or a building. Having a private space for the inhabitants is often the primary purpose
of a home. The doorstep can be seen as a form of boundary between the private realms of the family, away
from the scrutiny of others where there is control over ones domestic affairs. The idea of a normal family
life being built around the nuclear family living independently on its own separate dwelling seems a popular
image. Even then, it should be noticed that access to different parts of the household varies. Access to
bedrooms, kitchen and bathrooms is often more open to women when compared to the male counterparts.
The allotted private space may vary according to the house hold circumstances and people as well.
Privacy is not to be equated with being alone. Sometimes the children may also be under parental approval.
Or, they might be sharing their room with their siblings. Even otherwise, unlike the men who occupy a
private space in the form of a garage, reading room or a recreation area, women usually find it hard to take
time or space to create a room of their own, where they can relax fully and enjoy a private moment. They are
expected to enjoy privacy in terms of the togetherness of the family, where of course they are free from the
external interferences of the society. But there are invisible rules which the society has already established as
to what a woman should do and should not do inside the household. Some may define the kitchen as a
private work space, but at times it also functions as the family space, where food is served and so the work
space does not seem to provide any leisure for the women.
The need of a private space for women is mostly related to the feeling of depression the need of a
private space to cry. More over they seem to lack even personal belongings which should be stored
separately. This lack of personal territory and property, and the lack of a need for such possessions often
extend to the identity of the house maker whose self- identity also submerges with her responsibility and that
is taking care of her family. So, here we can see, for the woman, privacy means togetherness with her family
away from the outside interferences.
If the nature of privacy extends its limits then also problems arise. It may cut off contact with others
in the family which may result in isolation. In the case of a living together relationship, the context of
privacy may have a different appearance. The partners may have separate bedrooms, personal space,
property which they may not even think of sharing among themselves. To a certain extent it is the
expectation of this personal space that contributes to the live-in relationship. But, often this kind of an
extended personal space usually results in two isolated beings trying to live in a secluded place.
The choice of being at home appears to be heavenly for one thinks of the freedom and security we
enjoy. What we forget is that our actions inside our home always depend on the common interests of the
dwelling place if a smooth relationship or togetherness is to be maintained. A tension exists between the idea
of the home as a place of relaxation and freedom away from the rules and regulations of the public sphere,
and the requirement of regulation and predictability with regard to domestic arrangements. But, even the
routine atmosphere at home provides a sense of security and comfort. It is still the primary responsibility of
the woman to create these feelings of order and security within the household, particularly the mother figure.
Even in homes where both partners are employed full time, pressure always remain upon the female partner
to maintain a comfortable and orderly environment. It is not only due to the fact that male partners are
reluctant to help with the chores. Very often, we find the women are not ready to let men in to their domestic
sphere because of the thought that that they can do things in a better and perfect way.
Autonomy is another aspect to be taken into consideration. While some women find household
activities tiresome, there are women who are satisfied with it because they enjoy the feeling of autonomous
power within the house hold sphere especially in matters related to control over consumption and spending
as well. There is another side to it though, as very often women are only free to decide on the matter of food
in relation to what the majority thinks is edible.
The idea of home as equivalent with the concept of leisure doesnt always prove to be right one as far
as women are concerned. It is indeed her primary work space. When all the members of the family relax
after their usual responsibilities of work, studies and the like, she is still tidying, cooking, serving or
preparing for the next day. Even in a retired life, home which is expected to be a leisurely place doesnt
essentially provide that space for the women.
Home is also an arena where one has the freedom to express and exhibit our individual personality
and taste. Usually this is exhibited in the way a woman may decorate her home, and it should be taken into
account that it may be the only place where she can exhibit her creativity. Even there, the area of physical
labour is often devoted to man and it is usually the man who decides whether the decoration should take up a
place or not.
Even the construction of the rooms limit the space she can take. Kitchen has lost its privacy. It is not
merely a work place. In the modern nuclear atmosphere, it is also the place where the majority of the
discussions take place, where children do their home work, where the next day is being planned, etc.
besides, the modern kitchen which seem to occupy a minimum space seem to cry out the message that only a
single person is expected to be there at the time, and that is obviously, the mother figure. Often, women have
real difficulty in knowing whether anything is in fact their territory. In one sense, she controls the complete
house, but in a sense she never owns anything except her side of the wardrobe. This may be due to the fact
that even when woman happily accept the nurturing to be undertaken at home, they resent at the rising
demands. It is as if the room has been cleaned, but at the same time we are left with the feeling that there is
more space that needs to be cleaned. The demands leave one with a feeling of resentment and guilt.
Even when considering the case of house husbands, these factors can be seen as not dominating the
male partners because a major share of the house hold activities can still be seen as being performed by the
female partner. The man may be looking after the kids or sharing a part of the chores, still the major
responsibility of cleaning, maintaining order as well as the earning part also falls on the shoulder of the
woman.
The realization should be the fact that the transformation to be made should be legal and social and
not architectural. For, it is the social relationship that really defines the warmth of a home. The home must
be recognized for its role in maintaining the existing ideologies surrounding gender and for representing and
promoting ideals.