Have you ever been totally blown away and caught RAYMOND E. ALLEN, Sr.

SensitivityTheHusbands Ministry to His Wife

off guard by the wisdom, knowledge &

SHensitivity
raw courage displayed in someones writing?
Well I have! Captivating. Insightful. Beautiful. Honest. Courageous.
These are but a few of the words I will use to describe Ray Allens journey
into the mind and heart of a true champion of Gods love. In this message to men, he graciously
instructs the reader to dare to love his wife purposefully, sacrificially and biblically. He confidently
takes the reader where few men have dreamed to go; but he has been there and is Divinely qualified
to guide us on this blissful journey. This is not another how to book. This is it!
Prophetess Barbara Williams
The Ministry of the Watchman, Intl.

It has always been just a matter of Gods timing that his writings would impact multitudes Theusbands Ministry
to
I recently received a text message from my husband Dr. Marlin McNichols in which there were

His Wife
various book cover concepts. As I noticed the title of the book, the word Sensitivity jumped off
the page at me followed by The Husbands Ministry To His Wife. My spirit leaped and I
yelled, yes!!! I read even further and there it was, the authors name: Raymond E. Allen, Sr.
I then said praise God this is it! So many doors are about to open for you my friend. It is truly
your time. Its as if God allowed all these experiences so that through you He might bless the
world! Thank you for hearing His voice and being obedient to the call
Minister Joyce Dozier-McNichols
Sound In The Spirit Ministries

Raymond & Jeannie Allen

This couple is a gift to us; an example of Gods continual work in human
relationships and of marriage in particular. Their story is unique in RAYMOND E. ALLEN, Sr.
that it gives glory to God... the One who created us to love and to be
loved.
For thirty-one years this couple sought to please God by loving and
giving to one another. This love brought forth seven children, all
taught of the Lord. But Ray and Jeannie did not stop there. Ray moved
the family to Tulsa, OK. He worked and attended Rhema Bible Training Center, while Jeannie
worked and cared for their family. They recognized early the necessity of prayer, study of the
Bible and commitment to Gods plan for their lives... a plan which included pastoring, mentoring
as well as family life and serving the Christian community in a variety of ways.
This is their story as told by Ray shortly after Jeannies passing. It is Gods gift to us, giving us
a glimpse into the spirit and soul of a couple who dared to live for God and be true champions
for Christ.
Have you ever been totally blown away and caught RAYMOND E. ALLEN, Sr.

SensitivityTheHusbands Ministry to His Wife

off guard by the wisdom, knowledge &

SHensitivity
raw courage displayed in someones writing?
Well I have! Captivating. Insightful. Beautiful. Honest. Courageous.
These are but a few of the words I will use to describe Ray Allens journey
into the mind and heart of a true champion of Gods love. In this message to men, he graciously
instructs the reader to dare to love his wife purposefully, sacrificially and biblically. He confidently
takes the reader where few men have dreamed to go; but he has been there and is Divinely qualified
to guide us on this blissful journey. This is not another how to book. This is it!
Prophetess Barbara Williams
The Ministry of the Watchman, Intl.

It has always been just a matter of Gods timing that his writings would impact multitudes Theusbands Ministry
to
I recently received a text message from my husband Dr. Marlin McNichols in which there were

His Wife
various book cover concepts. As I noticed the title of the book, the word Sensitivity jumped off
the page at me followed by The Husbands Ministry To His Wife. My spirit leaped and I
yelled, yes!!! I read even further and there it was, the authors name: Raymond E. Allen, Sr.
I then said praise God this is it! So many doors are about to open for you my friend. It is truly
your time. Its as if God allowed all these experiences so that through you He might bless the
world! Thank you for hearing His voice and being obedient to the call
Minister Joyce Dozier-McNichols
Sound In The Spirit Ministries

Raymond & Jeannie Allen

This couple is a gift to us; an example of Gods continual work in human
relationships and of marriage in particular. Their story is unique in RAYMOND E. ALLEN, Sr.
that it gives glory to God... the One who created us to love and to be
loved.
For thirty-one years this couple sought to please God by loving and
giving to one another. This love brought forth seven children, all
taught of the Lord. But Ray and Jeannie did not stop there. Ray moved
the family to Tulsa, OK. He worked and attended Rhema Bible Training Center, while Jeannie
worked and cared for their family. They recognized early the necessity of prayer, study of the
Bible and commitment to Gods plan for their lives... a plan which included pastoring, mentoring
as well as family life and serving the Christian community in a variety of ways.
This is their story as told by Ray shortly after Jeannies passing. It is Gods gift to us, giving us
a glimpse into the spirit and soul of a couple who dared to live for God and be true champions
for Christ.
RAYMOND E. ALLEN, Sr.
SENSITIVITY: THE HUSBANDS MINISTRY TO HIS WIFE
Copyright 2015 by Raymond E. Allen, Sr.
All Rights Reserved.

Raymond E. Allen, Sr.

1218 Beason Cove Rd
Steele, Alabama 35987
(205) 352-6701
pastaray777@aol.com

Printed in the United States of America

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical,
photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of any audio recording. No part of this
book is to be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted or otherwise published or copied for
private use without the written permission of the author.

Book preparation and design

Treasure Image & Publishing - TreasureImagePublishing.com

Scripture quotations noted KJV are from The Holy Bible, King James Version, Public Domain.

Scripture quotations noted AMP are from The Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by
The Lockman Foundation.

Scripture quotations noted NLT are from the Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013
by Tyndale House Foundation.

Scripture quotations noted NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978,
1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations noted MSG are from The Message Bible, Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002
by Eugene H. Peterson
 Dedication
TO ALMA JEAN COLEMAN ALLEN
I will see you again my love, my
precious darling, my angel.

I dedicate this book in memory of my

dearly beloved wife with great pleasure and
honor. From the very first time that I saw
you, my dreams have come true. Since July
16, 1976, the day you became my wife, I lived
in Heaven on Earth. Now that you are back
with your Heavenly Father, I want the world
to know what it was like to be married to an
angel. You made my life and home a true Garden of Eden. Thank
you for thirty-one years of paradise on earth. Thank you for
marrying me and for giving me unspeakable Joy. Thank you for
blessing me with seven beautiful children. I truly see you in each of
them. Baby, you will always and forever be in my heart, in every

3
SENSITIVITY: The Husbands Ministry to His Wife

song I sing, in every book I write, and in every sermon. I thank

God every day for allowing me to have the gift of your special love,
and I pray that every couple will experience the joy and
wonderment of true love. For it is the ultimate goal and purpose of
this book.

4
 Acknowledgements

Well, first of all I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus

Christ, and my Heavenly Father, Almighty God, that when my
Jeannie left here and I no longer wanted to live, and took a
personal trip to hell, i found out that even in my personal hell,
Jesus and God were even there. They lovingly brought me out, and
gave me life anew. There have been many people who have been a
personal blessing to me, and have really helped me along in my
journey of life. To my many mighty friends and Champions, I
want to honor you at this time.

My mother, Helen Marie Robinson, who brought me into the

world and loved me unconditionally.

My Grandma, Emily Williams, who raised me and my

brother and sister when my mother became bedfast with MS.
When I was years old. (Grandma was somethin-nother-else)

Katherine Coleman, my wife Jeannie's mom, was one of the

greatest women of God I have ever known. Even though she is
in heaven now, I will always love her and her husband Pops
for having my Jeannie and for trusting me with her, my angel,
and mighty woman of God.

7
SENSITIVITY: The Husbands Ministry to His Wife

Mama (Victory) Brooks, one of the greatest and sweetest

women of God I have ever known. She was an inspiration to
me and her ability to endure hardships and her faithfulness to
God was truly amazing. She will forever live in my
Champions Hall of Faith.

Stan and Stacey Scott, who help me make my dreams of

becoming a published author a reality. They have shown such
love to me. Stacey gave me such encouragement in the darkest
times of my life, as the bright shining light of God. They are
my family. I love them so much for being there for me.

Dav and Dorian Rosenberger for bringing complete joy to me

and Jeannie. They were the best church members a man and
woman of God could ask for, and always believed in us, and
supported us, and I thank them for being such wonderful and
faithful Champions, and for bringing us such joy.

Mama (Pearlina) Shaw, a great woman of God, who has

gone on to be with the Lord. I loved Mama Shaw and Papa
Shaw dearly. Mama Shaw was just Mama Shaw.

Josephine Johnson, one of my wife's very best friends. I thank

Jo for loving and always treating Jean with honor. Jo truly
loved Jean and I will never forget the love and kindness she has
always shown to us...truly an amazing woman of God.

Laurie Dumas, for the love shown me and especially my wife.

It will be something that I will cherish forever. Laurie's sweet
and kind heart has blessed my life. Laurie and Pastor Dumas
are such wonderful examples. I will always love and cherish
them.

8
 Acknowledgements

My wonderful loving sister, Mrs. Cheryll Elaine Martin, my

sweet angel, who has never ceased to love and support me. I
am so very proud of the woman of God she has become... I love
her always!

Prophetess Barbara A. Williams, I want to give a very special

shout-out to you, Woman of God, to thank you with all my
heart for allowing God to mightily use you and the Ministry of
the Watchman to bring what was hidden in my heart out to
the world. Because of your steadfast obedience to the Lord,
this book, Sensitivity: The Husbands Ministry to His Wife
was literally born.

Shannon Crowley, Thank you so much, woman of God, for all

you have done to bless me and for being so wonderfully kind
and patient with me. You are simply amazing. The incredible
and anointed work you did to design this book, from the front
cover, to the interior, to the very back was nothing but pure
excellence. I am more than pleased with you and your
amazing company, Treasure Image and Publishing. Thank
you! Thank you! Thank you! You are so God-Awesome.

9
 C O N T E N T S

Dedication .............................................................................................................. 3
About The Author & Tribute to Wife .............................................................. 5
Acknowledgements ............................................................................................... 7
Forward................................................................................................................. 13
Authors Preface .................................................................................................. 17
Introduction ......................................................................................................... 21
CHAPTER ONE ................................................................................................... 25
Sensitivity The Husbands Ministry to His Wife
CHAPTER TWO .................................................................................................. 35
Dont Forget the Little Things
CHAPTER THREE ............................................................................................... 41
She Is Her Own Universe And You, My Friend, Are...
CHAPTER FOUR ................................................................................................. 47
God Said, Wash The Dishes
CHAPTER FIVE ................................................................................................... 51
So, You Are Not Talking To Her, Huh?
CHAPTER SIX ..................................................................................................... 59
Protect Your Garden of Eden
CHAPTER SEVEN ............................................................................................... 65
One of Womans Greatest Gifts
CHAPTER EIGHT ............................................................................................... 71
Unequal Love
CHAPTER NINE .................................................................................................. 77
Youre Not Kenneth Copeland, And Youre No Fred Price
CHAPTER TEN .................................................................................................... 83
The Secret Destroyer
CHAPTER ELEVEN ............................................................................................. 89
Knowing Your Priorities

11
SENSITIVITY: The Husbands Ministry to His Wife

CHAPTER TWELVE ............................................................................................ 95

When Compassion Moves (The Greatest Move in the Bible)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN ...................................................................................... 105
Just Be Kind (Mastering the Law of Kindness)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN ..................................................................................... 119
For Your Eyes Only (Looks Can Kill)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN .......................................................................................... 131
The Absolute Power of Humility
CHAPTER SIXTEEN.......................................................................................... 145
Let Her Be Who She Really Is
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN ................................................................................... 153
Lets Talk About Sex, Baby!
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN ...................................................................................... 166
Keys to Supernatural Romance
CHAPTER NINETEEN ...................................................................................... 187
You Must Have A Vision For Your Wife
CHAPTER TWENTY ......................................................................................... 195
Flirting with Disaster
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE ............................................................................... 205
You Are the Last Dragon
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO .............................................................................. 211
You Really Do Have the Power to Change
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE ........................................................................... 225
Love Her As Christ Loves the Church
About the Author ............................................................................................. 237
Contact Us ......................................................................................................... 239

12
 CHAPTER ONE

Sensitivity:
The Husbands Ministry to His Wife

I was married for thirty-one years to an angel named Alma Jean

Allen; she was my dream come true. Now even though I am
writing this supernatural roadmap to romance, every journey is
special and unique. Even though I was married to my angel Jean
and thought she was the closest thing to perfection, I want you to
know that I was no angel and nowhere near perfect. However, I
promised her I would write it, so here it is. Sensitivity is really a
book written for men and a book to bless both women and men.

My marriage to Jeannie was like heaven on earth, she was a true

woman of God, who really helped me become a real man. I truly
believe we helped to create each other through our relationship.
When my Jeannie died on February 18, 2008, I felt like I no longer
wanted to live. I felt as if my heart was ripped from my chest. I
begged God for death, but He had other plans. The suffering was
so extreme, I often told people I took a trip into hell only to find
out that even in the midst of hell, God and Jesus were there with
me and brought me out.

25
SENSITIVITY: The Husbands Ministry to His Wife

I truly believe one of the most tragic things on earth is to waste

or throw away true love. Out of my love for Jeannie, out of the
intense pain of suffering, this book is finally born. God blessed us
with seven beautiful children, whom I collectively call the A-Team:
Raenell, Raymond, Raina, Raquel, Ryan, Reba, and Rashawnda; we
also have fifteen grandchildren.

Agape love - a Christ-like love that is distinct from erotic love or

emotional affection - is the most precious commodity in this world
and the next.

The following is a letter to my natural sons, Ray and Ryan Allen;

to my sons-in-law, Bruce Smith and Mike Tanner; and to my
spiritual son, David Paul Brooks; and to all my champions. If you
have been blessed by God with an angel of your own, always
cherish and adore her, hold and love her with all your might for
you are her champion of true love. The following is a letter written
to and for real men entitled Men Are Four.

The letter establishes four insights: 1) He who knows and knows

not that He knows. He is asleep: wake him. 2) He who knows not
and knows not that He knows not. He is a fool: shun him. 3) He
who knows not and knows that He knows not. He is a child: teach
him. 4) He who knows and knows that He knows. He is a king:
follow him. The insights stated above best express what I want to
accomplish through this book. I want this book to wake you, and
teach you so that God can cause you to be the king of your wifes
heart. I am excited about the birth of this book and the pearls of
wisdom God has given me.

I was born in Farrell, Pennsylvania and was raised in the

projects. I never knew my father, and my mother was bedfast

26
 Chapter One

from the time I was twelve years old. Even though Farrell was a
small town, it was a rough town. Seems like we had projects and
playgrounds on every side of town and I lived in all of them, and
played on all of them.

You really had to have a tough hide in order to survive. I think

one of the greatest mistakes that we make as men is feeling we have
to be super hard; I was raised this way. My family said phrases like
Shut up Boy, youre not hurt, Just shake it off, and Boys dont
cry. I have seven children of my own and fifteen grandchildren
and I have repeated some of these very same phrases. However,
there needs to be balance and understanding.

I have always told my champions that you have to have T and T:

a tough hide but a tender heart. Now do not get me wrong, a man
needs to be a man, but a real man can always afford to be sensitive
and kind. Most brothers believe that sensitivity means you have to
be soft and that is not true. When I talk or speak about sensitivity,
I am speaking about kindness, availability, fairness, and
compassion.

Some of the most powerful men on earth have also been

sensitive, and the most powerful man on earth was the Master of
sensitivity. The mistake we make is in how we view things. We
need to have a paradigm shift in regards to this subject matter.
Thus, I will begin to posit my thoughts on this matter by first
defining my terms.

Sensitivity is the quality or state of being sensitive; the capacity

of being stimulated or excited by external agents such as lights,
gravity, or touch. Sensitivity has to do with being highly

27
SENSITIVITY: The Husbands Ministry to His Wife

responsive or susceptible, or to be delicately aware of the attitudes

and feelings of others.

I want you to really view this in relationship to your wife. I have

witnessed men, whom I have known personally that were mighty
warriors and very powerful, but in their relationships with their
wives they were cowards in their hearts. God has called you to be
your wifes champion, her knight in shining armor, and God has
given you everything you need to succeed.

Sensitivity also has to do with the degree to which the radio

receiver responds to incoming radio waves. How receptive are you
to sense impressions? The Latin meaning of the word receptive is
to understand an idea or a mental process (as seeing, hearing, or
smelling); it is a state of excited interest or feeling: to perceive. You
can really see the importance of men being sensitive just by the
very definition of the word. Let us dive a little deeper into the
realm of the spirit.

I believe that the truly great kings are brave enough to be

benevolent, gentle, and kind. On the streets, we used to ask, Man,
can you feel me? Actually, we were asking, are you receiving
me? or are you understanding me? and are you sensitive to
what I am trying to convey to you?

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden

and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will
ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]

Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle

(meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find

28
 Chapter One

rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and

blessed quiet) for your souls. (Matthew 11:28-29 AMP)

Though He has all power, in the above passages Jesus said that
He is gentle and humble. Let me share another passage with you
that will give you more insight into Jesus heart and power. I know
some of you might say well, that is Jesus. However, you really
need to understand that He was functioning as a man during his
time on earth.

Jesus went straight to the Temple and threw out

everyone who had set up shop, buying and selling. He
kicked over the tables of loan sharks and the stalls of
dove merchants.

He quoted this text:

My house was designated a house of prayer;
You have made it a hangout for thieves.

Now there was room for the blind and crippled to get in.
They came to Jesus and he healed them.
(Matthew 21:12-14 MSG)

I want you to notice that Jesus was neither weak nor was He a
pushover, but He turned that temple out, whipping folks, turning
tables over, and throwing folks out of that facility. WOW! That
sounds like something out of a Rambo movie.

Now follow closely the following passage from the New

Testament in John 11:35. This shortest but most powerful passage
in the Bible simply reads, Jesus wept.

29
SENSITIVITY: The Husbands Ministry to His Wife

In chapter eleven, John wrote about the story of Lazarus and

how Jesus raised him from death. I have often wondered why Jesus
wept when He fully intended to resurrect Lazarus from death and
the grave; the answer is right here...

When Mary came to the place where Jesus was, and saw
him, she dropped down at his feet, saying to him, Lord, if
you had been here, my brother would not have died. When
Jesus saw her sobbing, and the Jews who came with her
[also] sobbing, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.
(John 11:32-33 AMP)

You can see that Jesus himself was sensitive to peoples hearts
and full of compassion. Additionally, I am reminded that when
Jesus was being crucified even then He asked Father, forgive them,
for they know not what they do. Jesus had a tough hide, but a
tender heart, and hence so should we.

RAY NUGGET
Sensitivity is not weakness as many of us were lead to
believe, but a powerful gift that real fearless men are not
afraid to release.
There is a God given obligation for us to be receivers and
responders to the waves of emotion and the love our
wives and loved ones send out to us.

Jesus endured crucifixion on a cross. Crucifixion - the

execution of a person by nailing or binding them to a cross - was
such a horrible death that they developed a new word to describe

30
 Chapter One

its pain. The word is excruciating, which literally means, out of

the cross.

It is so amazing that while experiencing one of the worst, if not

the worst, deaths one could possibly endure, Jesus thought about
his mother and about humankind. While on the cross, suspended
between life and death, Jesus said, Father, forgive them.

To those folks that will say Well, Ray, thats Jesus, the Son of
God, I invite you to read the book of Acts.

In his Book of Acts, Luke wrote about a man of God named

Stephen, who is not the Son of God, but a son of God, like you and
I. Stephen did not have angels come down to earth and announce
his birth. Stephen was not born of a virgin, but He was just like
you and me. Stephen was just an ordinary man serving an
extraordinary Father-God.

Luke wrote in Acts 7:54-55:

When they heard these things they were cut to the
heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth, but he
being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up steadfastly into
heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on
the right hand of God. (KJV)

Now you really need to understand that the mob was in the
process of murdering Stephen. They were so enraged that they
actually began biting him with their teeth. Lets skip a few verses in
the story.

And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and

saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. (Acts 7:59 KJV)

31
SENSITIVITY: The Husbands Ministry to His Wife

Now notice how the next verse reads; I think this particular
passage is truly amazing.
And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice,
Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had
said this, he fell asleep. (Acts 7:60 KJV)

This man literally said the same thing Jesus said while hanging
on the cross; Father, forgive them. What men of power. These
two men - Jesus and Stephen - demonstrated great compassion
even while facing death. There is no strength stronger than what
Jesus and his followers demonstrated in their lives and deaths. The
ancient Romans were absolutely amazed by such Christians, who
were meek and gentle, but demonstrated willingness to go to their
deaths with fearlessness and bravery.

Sensitivity is not weakness; it is very powerful and requires

courage of heart. A real man is confident in his own identity. He
is not afraid to constantly display gentleness, kindness, and
sensitivity toward his wife and loved ones.

I personally believe that many times in our lives God will allow
us to meet angels, some we will know about and some we will not
even recognize. I was blessed enough to have had many angels in
my life, heavenly and earthly. I met a very beautiful woman from
Leeds, Alabama, who had suffered with pain all her life. Her story
was like that of a modern day Cinderella, only with constant pain
and suffering, she had amazing strength and was country tuff.

Many think she was just another country girl from Alabama,
but to her family and many others she was an angel.

32
 Chapter One

Alabama is where I wrote a great deal of my book. They have an

expression for somebody who whines all the time; they would say,
Stop being a titty-baby. The expression means do not be soft, do
not whine, but be tough. However, there is no balance in the
expression. You see, all over the world we embrace expressions
like, Boys dont cry. To the contrary, I would posit that real men
are not afraid to cry because Jesus wept, and He was the greatest
man who ever lived.

To borrow a cultural colloquialism, do not get it twisted, I am

not positing a case for crying. I am making an argument for the
necessity of men having a sensitive heart, and consequently
bringing balance to our macho tough-guy world of hardness,
wherein we take machismo to a new level. For you see, one of our
main problems is the hardening of the hearts of men. I hope the
words on the pages of this book will open many hearts and eyes,
and let the entire world and church know that sensitivity is not
weakness, but actually one of the most powerful gifts God has
given us.

RAY NUGGET
As soap is to the body, tears are to the soul.

Please let me reiterate that sensitivity is not weakness but is a

true sign of extraordinary power and courage. Most men, when it
comes to demonstrating their real heart, are cowards in that they
are reluctant to expose their emotions or express how they feel.

33
SENSITIVITY: The Husbands Ministry to His Wife

Too many men are bound by fear of being hurt or that a woman
will take advantage of them. Consequently, the way they love and
express the emotions of love is never full throttle, but is just a
watered down love. This hinders men from ever tapping loves full
potential and releasing the incurable romantic trapped inside
them. Do not betray your wife by travestying the romantic side of
yourself.

I hope you have noticed that I have repeated myself at least

three times in this chapter. The ancient scholar said, Repetition is
the mother of all true learning.

34