1 0 S I M P L E

S T E P S T O Y O U R
V I B R A N T L I F E
By Wendy Brand, Mentor

HAPPYBYDESIGN.LOL
LIVEHBD@GMAIL.COM

www.BlogTalkRadio.com/HealthCoachWendy

Happy By Design
Table of Contents

Introduction: Where to Begin! 1

Where and WHY I Began My Search for a Vibrant Life! 1

It all begins with YOU! 2

Finding Balance in an Imbalanced World! 3

Three Pieces of the Whole! 4

10 Simple Steps in Review! 7

Simple Step #1 - Evaluate Your Circumstances! 7

Simple Step #2 - Self Assessment! 9

Simple Step #3 - Recognizing Imbalances! 11

Simple Step #4 - Whats Really Going On! 12

Simple Step #5 - Doing it Afraid! 12

Simple Step #6 - Expanding (or Tightening) Your Boundaries! 14

Simple Step #7 - Seeing A New Perspective! 14

Simple Step #8 - Taking Charge of Your Transformation! 17

Simple Step #9 - Building Better Habits! 19

Simple Step #10 - The Power of Words! 20

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Introduction: Where to Begin
Where and WHY I Began My Search for a Vibrant Life

My journey to better health and a happier life began almost 40 years ago. Growing up in a
dysfunctional family (as many do, sadly enough) with 10 children, a traveling father, step
parents and many quarrels that kept me and my siblings from our mother, my life felt sad
and often empty. It was probably not evident to my family and friends, as I was good at
hiding my feelings. I was also quite shy and introverted, especially after abuse started to
happen to me and one of my sisters. Back then, child abuse was kept hush, hush, and the
child was often said to be a liar if they brought out the truth. This contributed immensely
to the sadness, but I knew there was more to life than feeling bad, because I had seen others
with less and who had been through much worse who were still happy. I needed to know
more.

Before I went into different foster homes, when I was 13, one of my brothers introduced me
to a young man, called Wonder Boy, Anthony Robbins. He had audio tapes and a book
on self empowerment and personal development. I saw that if he could do all these
wonderful things at such a young age and with his own story of abuse, and be so happy
and successful, then I probably could too. I just needed to learn how and made it my lifes
purpose. I had already been a successful salesperson since the age of 5, no kidding.
Having had plenty of door to door and person to person experience selling everything
from hot cocoa, fishing hooks, lead sinkers, and fish eggs on the shore, to yard services,
magazines, and anything the schools were selling for fund-raising. I forced my introverted
self to do things afraid, and not stop until I succeeded. And so began my journey of
personal development, and wanting to set myself apart from the environment I had grown
up in, desiring to make better choices and live a happier life myself, as well as wanting to
help others around me who Id see suffering physically and emotionally, leading them to
drug and alcohol abuse, and sexual promiscuity. It was, and unfortunately still is for many
of them, a depressing scene...but I knew that one day Id be very happy and successful, no
matter what, and so could the others.

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Now I am, and you can be too! ! ! It is a decision away. Are you ready?

If youre the type of person that says, easy for YOU to say..., I want to encourage you to
ask yourself, has what Ive done up to this point worked for me in bringing me the health
and happiness I desire? If not, this is why youve picked up this book. You are looking for
something different, and now youve found it. Your life CAN be as happy and healthy, and
successful, as YOU choose to make it. It begins with you.

It all begins with YOU

Have you ever wondered why no matter what you do, you never seem to get ahead of the
game and life just seems to go by, weeks or months at a time...and just when you think
youre about to catch up on the to do list, you find another one waiting for you under that
pile of papers you finally sorted through and organizing? The typical, all-American drive
for success. Well, youll be glad you picked up this ebook on finding your vibrant life.
Heres where youll find the tools to lead you down a narrow and pleasant path to having a
sense of balance in your life and satisfaction with yourself. NOW is the best time that you
could possibly do so. Youve probably heard the phrase, why do today what you can put
off till tomorrow. This seems to be the thinking in todays busy and hectic world. The
challenge comes in that you dont know if there will be a tomorrow. Tomorrow is not
guaranteed. If we want something weve never had, we must do something weve never
done. That is, take absolute responsibility for your life, your choices, and your future.
Youll be amazed at what you can finally have when this gets done. As my son-in-law
might say, Cheers! Well done, mate! (Hes British.)

So sit back, relax, and enjoy your journey through what promises to be an enlightening and
fruitful experience. Its been said that you are who you are and where you are because of
the choices you have made up to this point in your life. Whether good choices, poor
choices, or indecision, they were all still choices that you made which all lead to a reward
or a consequence.

Self realization and intentional living are two necessities for finding a life of health, well-
ness, and happiness. These two steps are the beginning of your new journey. Well talk
more about these later.
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As you go through this ebook, make notes of your thoughts and feelings along the way.
Feel free to record them with your name and a date for future reference.
Name: ___________________________________________ Date: _________________________

Please be aware that this condensed book is a very simplified version of a proven strategy
to find the vibrant life you seek. One filled with joy, peace, satisfaction and contentment. It
is where you can begin to understand a bigger picture of where you are right now and
where you want to go, with basic instructions on how to start. Perhaps think of it as the
You Are Here spot on a treasure map, with these being the first 10 steps mapped out for
you. This is the beginning of your journey onto a path to your desired life. It demands
daily disciplines and your commitment. I am confident you can do it. It wont be easy, but
it will be simple. So first Id like you to know WHY you want a more vibrant life. When
you have it, what will it look and feel like? Write it out and post it as a reminder of the
treasure youll have and enjoy for the rest of your life. (See the page at the end of the book
to write it on and post.)

Finding Balance in an Imbalanced World

Today there are many experts or gurus in the world of wellness and life balance. Youll
find endless access to audios, videos, podcasts, books, courses, blog posts, social media,
books and more. It can be overwhelming to say the least. We are very fortunate to have
such access to such incredible information.

Looking back it feels like my journey wouldve been much simpler and faster if I had had
that kind of information and unlimited access to it, and to those whove been there and
done that who can teach me shortcuts so I didnt have to make the same mistakes.
Although I believe it was all for a purpose, to bring me to this point to help you. If youll
apply these first steps to your vibrant life, taking the time and actions necessary to move
closer to your treasure, you will save much time, frustration, and efforts.

This is NOT about getting motivated or will power. It is about how and why entire being
works in unison to find the balance it continually seeks.

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One can ask, Is it possible to find true balance in an imbalanced world?, and my answer
would be, yes, as it is different for each one of us. Your true balance comes in different
areas than others will. A true balance doesnt mean a perfect balance, just the most
beneficial of balances for you, individually. Only YOU can know when youve found the
balance youll need to live life optimally, and you WILL know it when it happens. Youll
hardly be able to contain your joy and emotions. Im excited for you to get there!

Three Pieces of the Whole

Body !! ! ! ! ! Mind ! ! ! ! Spirit

We are a spirit, we live in a body, and we have a soul (our mind, moods, and emotions).
These are the three pieces of your whole self. Each requires adequate attention, direction
and action and cannot function or survive without the other.

Our Body is the physical home of the spirit and soul. It demands constant attention to
daily nutrition, physiology, fitness, elimination, along with oxygen and water
intake...without which we would cease to exist physically. It is a miraculous self-regulating
machine of sorts, performing trillions of functions daily without us even recognizing it, or
requiring us to give recognition. Although I would argue that it would serve us well to pay
closer attention to how it performs regularly, if we want the best for ourselves.

Our Mind is defined as the element, part, substance, or process that reasons, thinks, feels,
wills, perceives, judges, etc. It has three parts, conscious, subconscious, and unconscious,
which work together to create your reality and how to use that knowledge to change
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your habits and create a happier, more peaceful and confident you. (Click the underlined
links for more detailed information and education.) The conscious mind is the only one that
is able to direct your focus, and to imagine that which is not real. The subconscious mind is,
on the other hand, in charge of our recent memories, and is in continuous contact with the
resources of the unconscious mind. Lastly, the unconscious mind is the storehouse of all
memories and experiences, both those that have been repressed through trauma and those
that have simply been consciously forgotten and no longer important to us. Its from these
memories and experiences that our beliefs, habits, and behaviors are formed.

Our Spirit is our source of life. Here is a definition I feel is relative, by someone named
Raphael (no last name). The true spirit of a human is a fragment of God's energy ... It is
composed of pure God-like spiritual energy, which is unlike any other form of energy. It
does not sleep during the deepest sleep. It is powerful, and is capable of earning eternal
life. This spirit within the human records all of his thoughts, words, and actions. It
informs the human whether his thoughts are correct or false, if he has learned to pay
attention. It is creative and every human has his own spirit... It cannot be measured by
man. It is not agreed upon by all men. For me, it is absolute and without question, a part
of every person.

These three parts of us are designed to work in tandem, synergistically. When one is out of
order, the others suffer. This is why it is essential that we are looked at as a whole and
completely when we are out of balance. This is where modern medicine disappoints.

Your whole being is YOUR responsibility, not that of your doctor or anyone other than you.

It is your responsibility to be aware of how it functions, how what you do to it and with it
affects it, how neglecting it causes it harm, and how to properly maintain its health and
well being...in essence, you.

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Thinking of what youve now read, how would you describe what each of these looks like
to you right now?

Body: ___________________________________________________________________________
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How satisfied are you with this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (10 being absolute best)

Mind: ___________________________________________________________________________
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How satisfied are you with this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (10 being absolute best)

Spirit: ___________________________________________________________________________
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How satisfied are you with this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (10 being absolute best)

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10 Simple Steps in Review

Simple Step #1 - Evaluate Your Circumstances

Take a close look at your surroundings; your relationships with people, food, ideas, your
emotions, your moods, and level of balance or imbalance in your life today. Are you where
you want to be? Circle your answer: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (10 = Exactly where you want
to be.)

More than 80% of the (American) population is dissatisfied with where they are in one or
more areas of life; their physical bodies, their finances, their careers, their relationships, and
more. Why is that? I mean, seriously, what is it thats stopping people from achieving their
hearts desires? The answer will shock you, as it did me. The answer is...ourself. Say
what?! I know, but its true. Who wants to hear that? I certainly didnt. The challenge is
that we were likely never taught HOW to think (for ourselves), WHAT is our true path and
purpose, or WHEN are WE to take full responsibility for our own lives. Generally
speaking, our parents dont even know this. Our teachers, even if they do/did know it,
werent allowed to teach it to us. It was too new worldly or new agey. Now we know
WHERE to get the information, and can use it to our hearts desire to fulfill the call of des-
tiny (which is different from fate) in our lives. I personally dont believe in fate as some-
thing that is predetermined for us, and that cannot be changed. It is such a bunch of B.S.!
(Thats Belief Systems.) Just as our BS can change, so can our destiny. You alone, will
determine how your life will turn out; whether youll live a victims life, or a victorious life;
whether youll be in a happy and healthy relationship, or one of turmoil and pain; whether
youll live in your purpose, or in the past. In this Ebook, I will show how to begin your
new path to what you truly want from life, and can absolutely demand and receive.
Remember, it is just the beginning. After this, the rest is up to you. Its up to you to
continue to renew your mind daily, to see things as they are - not worse than they are, to
continue to grow in every area that you need to grow in. Just like plants, if you stop grow-
ing, you die. Invest in yourself and in your future. It will return HUGE dividends.

Ive included a self-assessment to give you a picture of where youre at, at this moment. Do
yourself a huge favor and be completely open and honest with you. I dont believe that
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you would have invested your time in this reference if you werent fully committed to
gaining vibrant health and taking charge of and gain your vibrant life. If youre like many
people, this isnt your first how-to book on getting healthy and happier but youre hoping
it will be your last. Well, my friend, I hope for you that it is not, and that you will continue
to seek better ways for a better life.

Youre the only one who can change you and your life. Change is scary to your brain. The
thought alone sets off signals in your brain to avoid it at all costs. Its one reason that
people continue to fail at the many attempts to make changes in their life, only to go back
to where they started, or worse.

A 2013 article by Mr. Ray Williams in Psychology Today on Why Stretch Goals are a Waste
of Time says, The inherent problem with goal setting is related to how the brain works.
Recent neuroscience research shows the brain works in a protective way, resistant to
change. Therefore, any goals that require substantial behavioral change, or thinking-pattern
change, will automatically be resisted. The brain is wired to seek rewards and avoid pain or
discomfort, including fear. When fear of failure creeps into the mind of the goal setter, it
becomes a demotivator, with a desire to return to known, comfortable behavior and
thought patterns.

If youve ever wondered why you try and try to make changes and improve your life but
always seem to fall short of your goals, or simply fail, that is why. Good news though,
your brain can be rewired by you.

This is just one reason why youll NEED to keep your goals, plans, and strategies in plain
sight, along with renewing your mind daily.

Im only here to moderate, educate, empower and encourage you to move in the right
direction and take the necessary steps to bring that vibrant health and life into your today
and tomorrow. Consider this your starting point, even if it means starting over, again, or
again, or again. Until you are very satisfied and are living your life of purpose and joy, you
can always begin again. Its never too late. Never.

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Simple Step #2 - Self Assessment

Where are you out of balance? This is a question that leaves many without an answer as
they usually arent sure of where to begin. You might be thinking that youre not really
clear about what could be out of balance. Ill give you a simple measurement chart to help
give you a glimpse of where your potential imbalances may be. There are many specific
areas that can be measured, but Ill break it down into 8 general areas:

Physical - nutrition, hydration, supplementation, cardiovascular exercise, strength training,

flexibility, and self-care.

Emotional - Emotional wellness encompasses awareness and acceptance of your thoughts

and feelings. It is about feeling positive and enthusiastic about oneself and life, and the
management of these emotions.

Occupational - Occupational wellness is ones attitude about work. Is your occupation

consistent with your personal values, interest, and beliefs, and that will be gratifying to
you. Your chosen occupation, whether paid or unpaid volunteer activities, should provide
personal satisfaction and life enrichment.

Spiritual - The spiritual dimension of wellness involves seeking meaning and purpose in
human existence. It is a very personal piece of your wellness and beliefs. It is the ability to
integrate your beliefs and values into your actions.

Social - Social wellness encourages us to take an active part in improving the community in
which we live and emphasizes the interdependence with others and nature.

Organizational - Organizational wellness involves finding a place for your things and
putting them in their place. It is a feeling of accomplishment knowing that there are no
piles of anything calling out to you to declutter them. Essentially, being organized is about
having more time for yourself, and enabling you to live a more balanced life, free from
outside inanimate chaos and distractions.

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Relationally - Relational wellness is on a personal level vs. a professional or social one.
Healthy relationships are two sided, trustworthy, compassionate, mutually giving, and
respectful of the other.

Stress Management - Healthy stress levels and management of them are an essential part of
living a more balanced life. Healthy levels of stress is having the ability to learn and
implement healthy coping strategies.

On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being the worst you can imagine it and 10 being the best you can
imagine it, score yourself on each of the areas in the wellness wheel below. 1 would be the
inner most part of the spoke piece of the wheel and 10 the outer most part. Fill in the
categories according to where you feel you are today, and then transfer that number to the
wheel on the right. Then fill in the area which represents your number:

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Simple Step #3 - Recognizing Imbalances

Once youve filled in your wellness wheel, take a look at the state of your specific areas of
life and whether you are excelling, doing fine, or really need some work in each area.
Heres where youll need to be completely honest with yourself. Recognizing your need to
make adjustments in certain areas can be eye opening to say the least. At least it was for
me and the majority of my clients.

Decide on the one area that you believe could have the biggest impact if you put effort in to
making the number .5 to 1 point higher by taking one small step in that area. It doesnt
necessarily need to be from the lowest number, but rather the one which could make the
most difference for you right now. Which one will most benefit you this week? ___________
________________________ How? __________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________

Next, choose to take action on that small step over the next one to three days and put it on
your calendar. Give it the appropriate time for you to accomplish it. For instance, youre at
a 5 in the relationship category and want to take it to a 5.5. You can choose to take a baby
step forward by intentionally spending one hour to do something special for your special
someone, even if you dont think theyll thank you for it.

Know that sometimes we spend too much time on one area and not enough in others. This
can require that we pull back time from one and put toward another.

Being intentional with your decisions and actions will take your life to an entirely new level
of joy and inspiration. So what intentional baby step will you take this week? ___________
_________________________________________________________________________________
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Simple Step #4 - Whats Really Going On

Now that youve visually seen the different aspects and areas of your life in more detail
and recognition, its time to confront any areas/opportunities for improvement, other-
wise referred to as issues. In my practice Ive found that my clients didnt realize how out
of balance their life was, and found it very useful and eye opening to see where they were.
The general response was, Its no wonder Im struggling with ...! You might have had the
same reaction. I know I did. So now what?

Now that you recognize specific areas youre struggling with, each one will need to be
addressed individually. It wont happen all at once, as that would be overwhelming and
leave you right back where you started. Take each, one by one, and begin to make small
steps to finding more balance in each area. Realizing along the way that even if they are all
5s, that is balanced. No one is perfect and never will be, so total balance is not what we
seek. Were simply looking for more balance.

Simple Step #5 - Doing it Afraid

Have you ever felt afraid to start a new diet, change your schedule, get up earlier to exer-
cise, pick up the phone to make those calls...because you might fail? Welcome to the club.
We all do. The ones who succeed, however, have learned to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Many people are merely existing rather than living a fulfilled life. I can almost guarantee
that it is due to one thing, F.E.A.R! FEAR has been said to be False Evidence Appearing
Real. Studies show that 87% of what people fear never occurs. Humans will do more to
avoid pain (whether perceived or real) than to gain pleasure every time, its just our nature.

If we want to be happier, healthier, and enjoy our life more, we really have to do things
afraid. Again, we must feel the fear and do it, whatever it may be, anyway. Avoidance is
what gets us into predicaments, but it will never get us out of them. The only way out is
through.

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An example of doing it afraid is, when I was working for a Fortune 500 company, my boss
was leaving on a holiday for one week. He would normally have put a replacement in his
absence to do his work, but this one time he decided that I, simply his assistant with zero
training at his job, would be taking his place and doing his job while he was away. Gulp! I
was a young 20 something and was terrified that I would surely lose my job before he
returned due to incompetence, if nothing else. He assured me that I would know exactly
how to work with the engineers and contractors and would figure out what needed to be
done in each case. Another gulp!! And yet his confidence in me had me beginning to
believe that I might be capable of at least attempting it, and asking for help when necessary.
Well, in spite of my gut wrenching fear of failure, I exceeded his (and certainly my)
expectations! Low and behold, I had a new found ability and my confidence soared.

Yours will too, the more you step up and step out into the unknown, taking on new tasks
and making new choices along the way; all while dancing with your fears instead of
fighting with them.

So what one baby step will YOU take over the next 1-3 days? ____________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
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On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest, how committed are you to taking this step and
seeing it through? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (circle your commitment level)

The truth is, if youre at an 8 or below, youre not likely to follow it through to completion.
All youve done is given yourself an out or excuse to fail. If thats the case, seriously think
about WHY youre not at a 10, and write it here: __________________________________
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Simple Step #6 - Expanding (or Tightening) Your Boundaries

Youve likely heard that boundaries are important for healthy relationships. Its true,
they are. Theyre also important when working on each area of your life. There are
necessary boundaries for all of them, including, but not limited to, time, efforts, or money.

Success experts agree that to find fulfillment in life, boundaries must be clear to you and to
others in your circle, as well as kept tightly managed so as not to compromise your goals,
plans, or life vision. This will take intentional efforts and remaining aware of who or what
are crossing those boundaries. For your sake, be lovingly firm with yours. Its essential for
your success.

Where do you need to place or tighten boundaries in your life? ___________________

_________________________________________________________________________________
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_________________________________________________________________________________

By taking this action, what difference will it make it your life moving forward?
_________________________________________________________________________________
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Simple Step #7 - Seeing A New Perspective

As my mentor of 36 years, Tony Robbins, says, Life is happening for us, not to us. Its
truly about perspective, as we see what is happening in our life. If we consider our
perspectives of what happens in our life and give it only a 20% value, then the remaining
80% is how we see it and imagine how it effects us...rather how we ALLOW it to effect us.
Most of us have this backwards with our reactions or feelings being 80% of what happens
and just 20% of how we perceive it. Its no wonder we have so much turmoil in our lives
today.

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Take one instance in your life that was painful or you imagined was painful or caused you
great discomfort. Perhaps it was a failure in your relationship or job, an unexpected diag-
nosis, etc. If you saw it as something horrible and not in your control, it likely made you
feel miserable about it and respond with sadness, anger, depression, or worse. Thats
because your response was from the perspective of loss rather than potential gain. What if
you, even now, looked at it from a perspective of possible gain? What if you asked your-
self, whats great about this?, or what could be great about this?

For example, I was diagnosed with skin cancer and fibrocystic breast disease many years
ago. Its a long two weeks when youre waiting for the results of a diagnostic test for
cancer. When my husband and I received the confirmation that it was indeed cancer, we
had choices to make on how we would respond to the news. After considering the options
we were given, we chose to look elsewhere for a non-medical remedy because the surgery
would leave my face disfigured. The natural health world was semi familiar to me, as I
had been studying it as a hobby for many years, but I still had a LOT to learn, especially
when it came to cancer.

We researched alternative therapies, chose the one we thought best, and invested much
time, money, and lifestyle changes into my recovery. It took almost a year, much faith, and
a lot of living outside of our comfort zone. However, we decided that it was sent to us as a
gift. It was a gift of education, discipline, raising our standards, and moving outside of our
normal, average life, and in doing so, having the wisdom, knowledge and experience to
now help others who might be going through the same or similar circumstances.

My perspective had changed. I was actually grateful for the diagnosis, realizing it was for
my good, as well as for the good of others, after all. My personal belief is that everything
happens for a reason. Whatever it is, it is a test that I need to pass to move on to the next
phase in my life (or Ill have to retake it...ugh). I know that my God has my best interest at
heart and if I will go where He leads me, even if its uncomfortable or not what I expected,
it turns out well for me, as long as I do my part. At 50 years of life, I have yet to be disap-
pointed by this belief.

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Ive also seen it happen in the most unimaginable life circumstances. Circumstances that
could have easily left a young lady Ive had the pleasure to mentor in an undeniable pit of
misery and addiction. Most wouldnt have blamed her and in fact would have understood.
But not her!

As a little girl she was used as a sex slave by her father to support his drug habit. After
years of abuse, she was able to break away, but only to a home filled with more dysfunction
of an alcoholic and severely depressed mother, who still suffered from her past pains. After
losing one of her children at 4 months old she spiraled emotionally and got into drinking
and smoking pot for some hope of relief from her life of physical and emotional agony.
Unfortunately she was also introduced to heroin by another hurting family member who
was addicted to it. She was immediately addicted as well. After years of drug abuse, and a
relationship with an abusive narcissistic boyfriend who became the baby daddy of two
children, she lost all rights of her two boys. After becoming involved with another guy
who provided her all the drugs she wanted, and who also turned out to be an abusive
narcissist, she had two more little boys. She went to many so called treatment facilities
with little success but finally ended up in one that helped her deal with her emotional
pain that was being stuffed with the drugs. She had a reality therapist who ultimately
helped her get to the bottom of her pain pit and dig out of it. She was determined to keep
her youngest children. Today she is drug free, living in a beautiful home with her two
youngest boys, driving her first vehicle that she bought herself, and helping others dig out
of their pits, by dealing with their past hurts and emptiness. Others ask her how she did it
and her response is usually, Its mind over matter, and I decided enough was enough.
She decided. She learned that she has control over her mind, not the opposite. She is no
longer a prisoner of her thoughts, feelings, and emotions. She took complete control over
them and has found joy and peace. She sees her past as a learning resource that put her
where she is today, and that although extremely painful, has a purpose and pushes her
more toward her own purpose. Although she has daily struggles, just as all of us have, she
continues to choose to renew her mind every morning to continue living the life shes
always dreamed of. Life is getting better and better every day for her. It IS a choice.

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So, what is one situation from your past that seems to still haunt you? __________________
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And how can you see it differently, or what is great about it (from your new perspective)?
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Simple Step #8 - Taking Charge of Your Transformation

If it is to be, its up to me. William H. Johnsen

Each of us are solely responsible for who and where we are today. Sure, weve been
influenced by our upbringing or our environment, but we are still the only one responsible
for our actions, our perceptions, our successes, and our failures; our joys and our disap-
pointments. We are who we are and where we are because of the choices weve made up
to this point. Tony Robbins

(Side note: I HIGHLY recommend going to Netflix and watching, Tony Robbins, Im Not
Your Guru. It has the potential to speed up your rate of transformation and finding the joy
and peace you seek. Ive watched many times and have recommended it to others even
more times. I caution you that it contains intense language and situations, but dont be
alarmed by it...its all for a purpose and you will benefit from it.)

Since we dont get to choose who our family is, or what environment we grow up in, our
beginnings are a hand that is dealt to us. It is how we play that hand that determines our
outcome in life. Someone who grew up with an alcoholic or abusive parent/step-parent
could say that they are the reason you are who you are today, and you could blame them
for all of your misery and poor behavior, as if youve had no control over your character,
especially if its undesirable.

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So what if you blamed them for the strong personality you are today, who doesnt take any
*&$# from anyone? Would you give them the blame or responsibility for that as well?
Again, life happens FOR us, not TO us. You are here for a purpose, a destiny. Its time to
take a stand and to take full responsibility for yours.

First, however, you should recognize that you do have a purpose and what yours is. Write
out what yours is, or what you think it could be: ___________________________________
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Simple Step #9 - Building Better Habits

Definition of Habit: a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to
give up... an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary;
a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself
in regularity or increased facility of performance. We are each responsible for our own
habits. Why then are we not taught about habits and how they impact our lives? Why
dont our parents, our care givers, or our teachers educate us on habits and how they effect
us? GREAT question! I dont have the answer for that, only my imagination. I imagine
that in these generations, and back to the beginning of the formal education system in the
industrial revolution, we were taught to do what were told, throw our imagination out the
window, stand in straight lines, sit still and quietly until spoken to, and to do what were
told by our elders, our educators, our advisors, or our spiritual leaders, whether right or
wrong. Here in lies a major disappointment in how young people are brought up. I
believe that its time we, as parents, educators, or leaders, take a stand and fight for change
in this area...for their sake and yours. Imagine the world we will live in when from the
beginning of life we are taught to build healthy habits and how they affect the world
around us; when we are taught to think for ourselves and question things; when we are
encouraged to use our imaginations and not fear failure, but wrap our arms around it and
recognize it as part of our growth as human beings...just imagine!

This step is an accumulation of the others, as they are all a part of building better habits or
proper patterns of behavior.

This simple step has steps of its own. They are:

a. Know your story. The story you tell yourself is leading you on one path or another.
For instance, part of your current story might be, I cant forget what she said to me.,
but the truth is, you can let it go and move on. I cant tells your subconscious mind
that it cant...but it can if you let it know so. You are the writer of your own story. It
can change minute by minute, until you are satisfied with where you are in life.

b. Is it empowering or disempowering. Your story will either help you or hurt you.
YOU decide.
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 c. What are the patterns of your story? Are you always repeating parts of your story?
Ive tried EVERY diet out there, and I always fail! or are you building better
patterns of behavior as a part of your story with, Although I started many diets, I
didnt follow through with the steps for success over an extended period of time, but
I will from now on. Once you step back, take note of your patterns, you can start to
incorporate new patterns as you redefine your story. YOU are the author of your life.

d. Can and will you change them? This isnt a will power or motivation thing. Its
absolutely a neurological and thought processing thing.

e. Recognize your habits. If you find yourself saying things like, I know I shouldnt,
but... then youll recognize a habit that is not serving you.

f. The power of habits. Your habits, whether good or bad, will determine the level of
success in all areas of your life. You can learn the importance of the power of habits
at YouTube.com, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFd56y116IM. Its less than
two minutes that can help you understand YOU even more.

Simple Step #10 - The Power of Words

The power of our words AND our thoughts are either life-giving or life-taking. The
tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21

We get to decide what comes out of our mouth. Yes, you CAN help what you say and how
you say it. It is not automatic, unless you give it approval to be. That simply means that
youve chosen not to control your thoughts which lead to spoken words. Its just how I
am. is a bunch of BS! Your Belief System (BS).

Did you know that your words control what you do, what happens in your life, and even
how you respond to it all? Its true. What you allow from your conscious mind to pene-
trate your subconscious mind is how this happens. Imagine that the top half of your brain
is the conscious mind, and the lower half is the subconscious mind. The conscious mind
sees and knows the difference between good and bad, according to your thinking, but the
subconscious mind does not. It only knows what YOU tell it, and then its job is to go and
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prove what youve just downloaded to it. For instance, you might say to yourself, Ill
never be able to get this done in time!, and then you dont. Why? Because that is the
outcome you directed your subconscious mind to give you. It was YOUR choice. If on the
other hand you had said, I dont know how Ill ever get this done on time, but Ill figure it
out!, and you do...its for the same reason. You directed your subconscious mind to
figure it out, and it DID! Its job is to prove what you put into it.

So, the words you say and believe are the thinker part of your brain, and that directs the
prover part of your brain to make it happen...and so it does.

This is why every word that you THINK or SAY is important. Every. Word. If you want a
good answer, you MUST ask a good question, and your brain has the answers to them
ALL.

So instead of:

Why am I so stupid?, you could ask, How can I get it right next time?

Why am I so fat?, you could ask, What can I do to begin to get rid of this extra weight?

I dont know why, but Im always late., you could say, What do I need to do to always
be on time?

I hope you see my point.

Begin to take notice of the words you allow yourself to think and to say. When the negative
ones come on, reject them and replace them with better ones, ones that will serve you well.
Also take notice of how others talk to themselves and to others. If they are your children,
be especially watchful and constantly listening for teaching moments. If they are asking
unhelpful questions, teach them how to ask good questions. It will benefit you both. Your
children will say what you say and think how you think, at least in their younger, forma-
tive years. Choose your words and moods wisely. Someone you love is always listening.

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I do need to make you aware of something before you go. When you rise to a new level,
there will come a new devil. Old or new obstacles will surface, potentially getting in your
way of success. But just like when a tree falls on the road, you simply clear it from the path
and keep on truckin!

Youve GOT THIS!! Dont be afraid of failure, its a sign that youre moving in the right
direction. The only way to permanently fail is to quit, and thats not in your vocabulary.
You will move forward on your path to health and happiness, your treasured life.

When the struggles come, and they will, ask for help. There is plenty out there. You can
leave questions and comments on HappyByDesign.lol, or TheHopeCure.com, or questions
on my FaceBook page, www.facebook.com/thehopecure. (I am in the process of building
an online program for you to go to that will take you step by step, all the way, to live
Happy By Design. I will update this when it becomes available.)

Even if its going to YouTube and watching videos of experts and others (including me)
who want to help you get to the next step.

Im happy to say that my team and I are working diligently to take the many lessons,
recipes, workshops, seminars, and other event information that weve always taught locally
online as quickly as we can. We ask for and appreciate your patience.

You are NEVER alone.

Next is a sheet for you to write out the thoughts and words youre used to saying that
havent served you well (your limiting beliefs), and another spot to write out better
questions or statements to practice. The more you do it, the easier it gets. You might feel
foolish at first, but its less foolish than continuing to do something that you now know is
harmful to you and your mind.

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 OLD THOUGHTS AND WORDS BETTER QUESTIONS AND THOUGHTS

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Until Next Time...

It is helpful to make up reminders and affirmations that you can post around your home, in
your car, on your windows, on your refrigerator, or wherever they will be in your face as a
constant reminder...otherwise, out of sight, out of mind. And that has been our biggest
challenge the entire time...we are out of our minds (but in our heads).

Its Time! Time to take over your life!

Coming Soon:

For more in depth strategies and steps on your journey to finding your treasured life of
health and happiness, check out: WendyBrandMentor.com

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 My WHY:

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When I Get There It Will Look And Feel Like:

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