Nichols College

Throughout our lives we change through various different stages. We are completely

different people from the time that we are born to the time that we die. Throughout our lives we

go through seven stages of life: infancy, early childhood, middle childhood, adolescence,

emerging adulthood, adulthood, and late adulthood. At each stage we go through smaller stages

that help us understand how we mature through each stage.

The first six years of our life can be broken down into three different stages that are

categorized by the sexual pleasure centered on a particular part of our body (Berger, 24). These

stages were developed by a physician named Sigmund Freud whose patients were all suffering

from mental illnesses. He developed his theory by listening to their dreams and fantasies (Berger,

24). His three stages took place throughout infancy, early and middle childhood. These stages

were called the oral, anal, and phallic stages which were all based on Psychosexual theory

(Berger, 24).

The oral stage is centered on the mouth. The anal stage is centered on the anus. The

phallic stage is centered on the male penis. Once middle childhood occurs we enter the latency

stage and then we move on to the genital stage which ends at middle childhood and helps make

the transition to puberty (Berger, 24). Freud thought that at each of these stages the sensual

satisfaction is associated with the developmental needs, challenges, and conflicts that we face in

life (Berger, 24).

When we enter the oral stage (newborn to one year old) we focus on our mouths as being

the erotic part of our body (Berger, 25). For example, when most of us are babies we all eat

through sucking on our mothers breasts. When I was a child I was not breast fed, but I used to

suck on my thumb and my binky all the time. Also, when I was in the oral stage I used to have

cold sores all over my face and my lips, sometimes two or three at a time.
 When we enter the anal stage (1-3 years) we learn how to use the toilet. We focus

primarily on how much pleasure we get from the anus during this stage (Berger, 25). For

example, the most important activity during this stage is learning how to use the toilet. When I

was this age I learned how to use the toilet before I spoke one word. I was toilet trained by age

three and didnt talk until I was almost four. My little brother, who was born premature, is still

not totally toilet trained because of some stomach issues that he has. He has entered this stage

later than some children due to being developmentally slower than children his age.

When we enter the phallic stage (3-6 years old) we focus on the male penis. Boy will be

proud to have them and girls will wonder why they do not have a penis (Berger, 25). Girls tend

to dislike to boys because they have a penis and they want one. Girls tend to become attracted to

their fathers and boys tend to become attracted to their mothers during this stage (Berger, 25).

When I was in this stage all I remember is keeping my hands in my pants all day and being

yelled at for it. My little brother has the same issue, he always has his hand in his pants and likes

to run around with no pants holding his penis.

The latency stage is from ages six to eleven and is where most children focus on

schoolwork and playing sports rather than their sexual needs (Berger, 25). This is the stage

between middle childhood and puberty. When I was six years old all I wanted to do was play

outside with my friends and play travel basketball/baseball. Right now my brother would much

rather play video games then play outside, but we grew up at different time periods to where I

did not have video games until I was ten.

The genital stage starts in Adolescence and is said to last throughout adulthood (Berger,

25). When we are in this stage we focus primarily on our sexual urges and by satisfying them

through heterosexual relationships (Berger, 25). For example, most high school students go
through lots of relationships because they are trying to satisfying those sexual urges all the time.

For me, I dated the same girl about seven times in high school and always went back to her

because I was sexually attracted to her. Also, whenever I became single I had a tough time

staying single because I needed that intimate interaction with the opposite sex.

A man named Erik Erikson described eight developmental stages that happen

simultaneously with Freuds theory. Eriksons theory is psychosocial theory that involve us as

people dealing with two opposites extremes in each stage (Berger, 24). These stages are: Trust

vs. Mistrust, Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt, Initiative vs. Guilt, Industry vs. Inferiority,

Identity vs. Role Confusion, Intimacy vs. Isolation, Generativity vs. Stagnation, and Integrity vs.

Despair.

When we are in the Trust vs. Mistrust stage we are babies and are trying to decide who

we can trust to take care of us and supply us with our basic needs (Berger, 25). When we are

babies we need a lot of physical contact with other humans and we begin to trust that those

people (our parents/grandparents) can take care of us. On the other end of this theory we can

develop mistrust with certain people. For example, when babies have absentee parents they will

not grow to trust that those parents can provide them with the things that they need. For me, my

grandmother helped my father raise me and took care of me when I was a baby so I grew to trust

her more than anyone in the world besides my father.

The next stage we go through is Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt which occurs when we

are in the anal stage and we try to become self-sufficient in the majority of our daily activities

(Berger, 25). An example of these activities are eating, using the toilet, walking, and exploring.

On the other side of this theory we could doubt all of our abilities and have to rely heavily on

others to help us with them. For example, my brother is almost done toilet training but we have
him wear pull-ups to bed because he does not wake up to go to the bathroom and we have to ask

him if he has to go or else he will poop his pants. When I was in this stage I would not ride my

bike without my training wheels AND my father walking next to me because I didnt feel

comfortable in my abilities. To this day I still need my dad to do things with me because I do not

feel comfortable doing things without his help. Also, I have never been able to swim and I do not

think that I will ever be able to do so.

The next stage that we enter is the Initiative vs. Guilt when occurs when we are in the

phallic stage. Children either want to undertake many adult like activities or internalize the

limits and prohibitions set by parents. They feel either adventurous or guilty (Berger, 25). For

example, when I was six or seven years old I always thought that I could do anything that my

dad could do and I even thought that I could drive a car. I used to go to work with my dad and

learn how to do his job even though he didnt want me to learn. I tried to run away once because

I thought that I could live on my own and take care of myself better than he could.

Industry vs. Inferiority happens at the same time as the latency stage. During this stage

children learn to master new skills and become competent with them or they may feel inferior,

unable to do anything the way they would want to (Berger, 25). This is where we can master

certain sports as children or learn that we cannot play them. We may not be as good at certain

things as our friends are and it may make us feel inferior to them in many ways. For example,

when I was a child I used to play on the same baseball team as my best friend and he was better

at hitting than I was and it made me feel bad about myself. Because I felt so inferior to him I

began to work on my defense and master that part of the game especially because that was an

area where he was inferior to me.

 The stage that we are presently in right now is the Identity vs. Role Confusion.

Adolescents try to figure out Who am I? They establish sexual, political, and vocational

identities or are confused about what roles to play (Berger, 25). During this time period is when

females and males find out who they really are in life and what they want to do for a career.

Some people find out they are transgender and other find out that they are homosexuals For

example, a friend of mine realized that they were meant to be a man so they decided to get the

operation and become a man and so far they have successfully transitioned and are engaged to a

lovely girl who fully understands what happened to him.

For me, all my life I thought that I wanted to be a veterinarian and save animals lives. For

some parts of my life I thought that I wanted to be a teacher and for other parts I wanted to be a

mechanic like my father. When I was a junior in high school I found my calling and I finally

realized what my true passion was all along, coaching basketball and baseball. Since I have been

in college I have struggled to find out what I really wanted to do with my life besides coach

basketball and baseball. I still second guess myself to this day, but I have known that I want to be

a guidance counselor for some time now because I want to help children who need guidance like

I did in high school and never received it. I want to still coach basketball and baseball, but I think

that I will be alright with being a guidance counselor because I want to help children work out

their problems and help them get to college.

The final three stages are Intimacy vs. Isolation, Generativity vs. Stagnation, and

Integrity vs. Despair. Intimacy vs. Isolation occurs when we as people are looking for our life

partner and want to begin to settle down with them (Berger, 25). Unfortunately this doesnt

happen for everyone and some of us decide that we would much rather stay away from people

because we fear being rejected by them than put ourselves out there and get hurt.
 Generativity vs. Stagnation occurs when: Middle-aged adults contribute to the

next generation through meaningful work, creative activities, and raising a family, or they

stagnate (Berger, 25). What this means is that when people reach a certain age they can either

pass their wisdom down to others or they can decided to be alone for the rest of their lives and

not give back to the society that they helped build. Integrity vs. Despair is when older adults try

to make sense out of their lives, either seeing life as a meaningful whole or focusing on goals

that they never reached which can lead to despair (Berger, 25). When we all retire from work we

will sit and ponder our lives and we may focus on the good things or we may focus on the bad

things, but it will be up to us. The reason I could not give examples of my life through the last

three stages is because I have not gone through them yet and I cannot predict how I will go

through them or even if I will.

No matter how old we are there is always a stage of life that we can go through. Every

person in the world goes through these stages in one way or another without realizing that they

have done it. Before I took this class I had no idea about the stages of life, but now I have taken a

look back on my life and realized that I have gone through the majority of these stages one way

or another even if it wasnt the normal way. These are the theories that we live through during

our life span.

 Work Cited:
Berger, K. S. (2016). Invitation to the Life Span (Third ed., pp. 24-25). New York, NY: Worth
Publishers.