Ik Haryanvi apni khoobsurat bivi k saath car mein baith ke honeymoon pe ja raha

tha.
Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Haryanvi gusse mein bola: meri bivi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaunga!
 
 
Ek bar sharabi kisi sadhu se takra gaya.
Sadhu: mein tujhe shraap deta hu.
Sharabi: Ruko, mein glass le ke atta hu
 
Beggar: Kuch khaane ko do!
Pandit: Tamatar Khao
Beggar: Roti do baba
Pandit: Tamatar Khao
Beggar: Tamatar hi khila do
Pandit's Wife: Ye Totla bolte he, Keh rahe he KAMAKAR KHAO !
 
Funny Hindi Babu train ke ik Dibbe me chad gaye.
TT bola: Kya Phaji? Dikta nahi, Ladies ka dibba haii?
Funny Hindi Babu: Sorry Ji Sorry ! Mere ko laga aap Mard ho...

American: Hamare yahan shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.

Funny Hindi Man: Kamal hai hamare yahan to shaadi sirf female se hoti hai.
 
 
Ek 10 saal ka kid bade dhyan se ek Hindi book pad raha tha, jiska title
tha: "Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare".
Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Funny Kid: Mein yeh dekhna chahta hun ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho
raha hai ya nahi.
 
 
Ik newly wed girl ki B.Ed. exam me first division aayi.
Uska funny husband khushi ke mare apne father-in-law ko sms karta hai: Aapki beti
Bed me first class hai.
 
 
Watch aur Wife me kya farak hota hai?
Funny Hindi man: Watch bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai. Wifei bigadati hai to
shuru ho jati hai.
 
Ik Funny Hindi omelet banane ke liye anda fodta hai. Anda andar se khali nikalta hai.
Funny Hindi: Kamal hai ji! Aaj kal murgian bhi abortion karvane lagi hain.

Funny Sardar Ji: Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau shuru kiya hai:
"Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye."
Desi Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun?
Funny Sardar Ji: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye ..!
 
 
 
Funny Hindi Girl ik tree pe chadi.
Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aayi?
Funny Hindi Girl: Apple khane.
Monkey: Yeh to aam ka tree hai.
Funny Hindi Girl: Pata hai, Apple saath laayi hoon.
 
 
 
Principal: Agar koi ladka girl's hostel me paya gaya, to usko pehli bar Rs 300
fine lagega, dusri bar 500 aur teesri bar Rs 800 fine lagega.
Funny Student: Monthly pass ka kya lega, mamu?
 
 
Saas: Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathar nahi nikal
sakti kya.
Funniest Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathar bhi
nahi chaba sakti ?
 
 
Ik short man ka funny beta 1000 Watt ke bulb par apne papa ka naam likh
raha tha.
Short man: Beta, ye kya kar rahe ho?
Funny Beta: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
 
 
Teacher: Itni pitai ke baad bhi tum hass rahe ho.
Funny Kid: Gandhi Ji ne kaha hai, musibat ka time hass hass ke gujarna
chahiye.
 
 
Wife ko Thappad marne k bad desi husband bola:
"Admi usse marta hai jise wo Pyar karta hai."
Funny wife ne zor se Husband ko Mara & Boli:
"Aap kya samje me apse Pyar nahi karti..."
 
 
 
Q. Jo insan hamesha free me hasta rehta hai, usko kya kehate hai?
A. HUSMUKH.
Q. Jis insan ka hasna bilkul bandh ho gaya ho, usko kya kehte hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
 .

A. HUSBAND :(
 

Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?

Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay...

Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?

Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?

Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.

Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!

Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!

Wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.

An old man married a young Girl,

Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; After marriage: It is self-
defense

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem
disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?

How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:

Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then...
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho k main aaon?

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??

Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:

Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream

That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!

Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?

Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date
and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey u!

Wife: Non-sense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,

Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.