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Number 297
Rejection.
Among the prophets, none were too good, too faithful, too zealous, or too
responsive to God not to experience rejection. In fact, it is precisely these
qualities which, from a Biblical perspective, make the ministry of rejection
impossible to avoid.
Avoidable Rejection
Some rejection may be avoidable.
Nevertheless, there are dysfunctional clergy. There are those who instead of
leading of biblical ministry of rejection do everything they can to initiate
unhealthy rejection in virtually everything they do. Lacking a solid foundation
for ministry, such individuals wreak reactive havoc in the church and beyond.
Not all avoidable rejection is the pastors fault, though. Some laity live on the
"high" of causing rejection. Devoted to sabotaging the health and self-esteem of
othersespecially pastorsthey will react to even the most innocuous
comments with scathing, merciless rejective attacks.
Tools For Dealing With Rejection
Perhaps the best news about rejection is that God knew that it would be part of
ministry. For this reason He has given various tools for dealing with rejection.
These include, but are certainly not limited to, the following:
Dusting off one's feet is also a powerful image for the rejected one who has
faithfully proclaimed the word of God. Jesus taught it to His disciples as He
prepared them for a ministry of rejection in Matthew 10.
"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off
your feet when you leave that home or town." Matthew 10:14 (NIV)
Jesus' command to shake the dust off one's feet is His therapeutic directive for
the ministry of rejection. The rejected minister must shake off the spiritually
toxic and emotionally overwhelming feelings which rejection can trigger so
that Satan cannot use the rejection to destroy.
Jesus' words also remind those in the ministry of rejection of the true value of
our rejection in ministry. It's worthless dirt. Get rid of itfor Gods sake and
yours. If it is true that individuals change their thoughts by their actions, then
Jesus' command to shake the dust off our feet may be one of the most important
therapeutic ways to change our attitudes toward rejective experiences.
If God's servants are not willing to grow and be shaped by rejection, they deny
Gods working in one of the most powerful aspects of our spirituality. One
cannot become more Christ-like without also being open to experiencing what
Christ Himself experienced.
Too often the greatest pain which rejection triggers are pains related to
codependencies. As those causing the rejection may be codependent, so the
ministers they reject may also be conducting a codependent style of ministry.
Some examples of codependent leadership may include,
* When ministers try to control the feelings of others;
* When ministers have a false sense that everything in their ministry is
under control;
* When a minister's self becomes fused and undifferentiated from their
ministry;
* When a minister can't get away from "work" but is inexhaustibly
"faithfully" ministering to the people of God far beyond what is
"normal" and "healthy";
* When ministers are driven by the praise and acclaim of the
congregation to the extent that without it they cannot be at peace in their
ministry;
* When ministers are unable to deal with and respond to criticism, fair or
unfair;
* When their spirituality is based on whether God gives numerical
growth and success as they have planned; and
* When ministers feel the ministry is theirs, not God's. God, they
believe, will give remarkable success to the ministry because they are the
ministers...not because of His will.
These and other issues are always unhealthy factors. For leaders, perhaps the
greatest danger is that these codependencies may appear in reactive responses.
For further insight see Ministry Healtharticle 277 "Roots Of Reactivity."
Timing is also critical. Know when to intervene and when not to intervene.
Consider the best way to intervene to avoid, insofar as possible, rejection.
Perhaps the most important question to ask is, "What scenario will incite the
least amount of fear for the rejecter and the rejected? What is safe?"
6) Build A Strong, Vision-Unified, Ministry Team. One of the best tools for
ministry is to have a strong ministry team which shares the vision of the Word
of God with the pastor. Vision has a way of dealing powerfully with fear. When
people know where they are going and believe it is God's will to achieve a
vision, this vision can ease anxieties and increase capacities for dealing with
fear-driven rejection.
Share the vision with the staff, congregational leaders and the entire gathering
of God's people often. As more individuals own the vision, those who would
reject it must face the reality that they cannot simply reject the pastor. They
must reject the leading of God among a unified, vision-directed people eager to
see God's plan work among them.
7) Resource The Body of Christ. The whole Church in its various expressions
counseling, hospitals, other churches, brothers and sisters in ministry,
internet resources, etc. is a remarkably diverse tool to assist in a ministry of
rejection. Resource and support themoften. After all, you're not the only one
to whom God has given a ministry of rejection. If God has called us to share
the Word, we ought also to share our experiences ministering this Word.
10) Recognize That The Power Of The Gospel Is Power Over Fear--Yours
And Theirs. Whether one fears rejection, sickness, death, loss of status, failure,
loneliness, unfair treatment, the bearer of the Gospel must recognize that
though the things, events and people which trigger fear can be powerful, the
Gospel is more powerful. It drives out all fear.
11) Minister To Rejection While Claiming Victory! "Oh death, where is thy
sting? Oh grave, where is thy victory?" proclaimed a Gospel-filled Paul in I
Corinthians 15. A ministry of rejection moves confidently forward knowing
that God has conquered the fear in Christ. That victory is so resounding that
fears can be sneered, mocked and laughed at. That confidence is what the
ministry of the Gospel is.
Rejection is not only a part of ministry. It's a part of life. Just knowing that it
can--and will--happen to us can give a certain strengthening perspective toward
rejection. When we understand that rejection will happen and learn to live with
it in the context of God's Word, we will more ably and non-anxiously minister
to others who reject us.
Reflecting on this resignation several years later, he lamented that he knew his
ministry gifts were for ministry. He knew he could teach. He enjoyed visiting
the sick. He relished the people side of ministry. He appreciated the opportunity
the ministry offers to be a part of peoples lives that virtually no other calling
offers. But he had one hang-up. He couldnt deal with rejection.
Rejection, he felt, was worst from those passive-aggressive, indirect types who
smiled to his face and scowled to his back. Repeatedly, he reflected, it was
these who most frequently aroused his fears. For years he wondered just what it
was about his personality that caused people to reject him.
Though my wife claims that I am one of the most tactful persons she has ever
met, the rejection still occurs. Tact, or any other approach, is no sure-fire
security against the possibility of rejection. Nowhere is this more evident that
in my pastoral counseling ministry.
A very large part of my counseling deals with divorce, depression, life-change,
and other issues. Nearly all of these, it seems, are propelled by fears. Whether
one fears the loss of competency, the loss of respect, the loss of control over
their environment, or the loss of a loved one the common denominator is fear.
In order to deal with these fears, the fears must be identified. This painful
process often results in tearful recognition of their deepest weaknesses. The
recognition may surprise me as well as them. When the recognition of the fear
occurs, the potential for growth occurs. When it doesnt, their fear may
demonstrate itself in a multitude of various emotive responsesall directed at
me. Whatever their response, the focus must always be to minister the Word of
God in such a way that it convicts and comforts
Samuels Rejection
Not knowing how to respond, he prayed to the Lord for guidance. God
responded,
"'Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected,
but they have rejected me as their king. As they have done from the day I
brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other
gods, so they are doing to you. Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly
and let them know what the king who will reign over them will do.' Samuel
told all the words of the Lord to the people who were asking him for a king."
I Samuel 8:7-10 (NIV)
Some Insights Regarding Rejection
One ought to note several important elements relating to rejection. First, though
rejected, Samuel did not himself retaliate against the rejecters.
Instead, he wisely took the dilemma to the Lord in prayer. There he gained
Gods insight that "it was not you they have rejected, but have rejected Me"
(8:8). Perhaps one of the reasons that the ministry of rejection is so painful is
because God's servants too frequently forget to pray.
Second, God's response to Samuel reminded him that it was God--not Samuel--
who had experienced the greater rejection from the Israelites.
* Though the Israelites rejected Samuel's prophetic intervention, the Israelites
also in essence rejected God's by repudiating His direct theocratic sovereignty.
* Though Israel rejected one whom God had placed to minister to His people,
God's rejection was greater in that His people were rejecting Him personally.
Samuel was merely a minister among the Israelites. They were not his people.
They were God's. Though the Israelites rejected Samuel's "doing," the greater
rejection was in their rejection of God's being.
One need not be a Samuel to recognize that rejection is an inescapable part of
ministry. Regardless of their confessed faith, it seems that Gods people just
cant help rejecting God and His servants over and over and over again. It
didnt surprise God. It ought not surprise us either.
Who knows how many more tens of thousands rejected Jesus up to the time of
His crucifixion? At the time of His crucifixion, there were only two of the most
important of His disciples who hadnt leftHis mother and His disciple John.
Isaiah wrote of His ministry of rejection.
"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with
suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we
esteemed him not." Isaiah 53:3 (NIV)
Rejection And You
Rejection is never "easy." Repeated rejection can lead to deep disappointment
in ministry. Perhaps the most important thing for God's servants is to recognize
that the ministry of the Word is a ministry of rejection. As darkness must squint
at any hint of light, so those shining the light of Gods Word will experience the
spiritually disquieting rejective "squint" which God's Word incites in the hearts
of the hearer. Those with ears to hear will hear. Those who will not will resort--
sometimes desperately--to rejective responses.
How will you respond? Will you let their fear overwhelm and overwhelm your
ministry? Will you be overcome by the various defense mechanisms which
those who resist God's Word hurl in the face of God's faithful servants? Or will
you learn to recognize rejection for what it isa ministry opportunity just
waiting to happen.
Yes, ours is a ministry of rejection. Reject itor accept it for the glory and
cause of the Kingdom of God.
Thomas F. Fischer