Developing a Partnership with a Parent

One of our students lives with mom and grandma. At the start of the school-year, I developed a
fast partnership with grandma, who is African American and is actively working against racism
and oppressive institutions.
Grandma and I met for coffee, text, and spent a lot of time on the phone learning each others
values and goals for racial equity at our school. We decided to partner to develop a diversity
night for families. As we brainstormed and tried to find a common time to plan and offer the
night, the work slowed. I was unable to reach grandma for a while to schedule our next meeting.
After a few weeks, she reached out to me and wanted to offer a Christmas ornament making
night instead of a diversity night. I mentioned my requirement to honor the separation of church
and state and that I needed to double check with my principal about sponsoring this type of
activity. He agreed we could not promote Christmas. Grandma was very upset and accused us
of not being serious about racial equity and felt we were putting up barriers.
We tried to meet with her on several occasions because we did some research due to her request
to create ornaments that gave us an opening to partner on something similar to her idea. We
discovered that holidays which include religious holidays are in our state academic social
studies standards. We next looked into the First Amendment of Separation of Church and State
and what that means to schools. We discovered that schools can teach about the secular details
of holidays which includes making of ornaments. Because we were unable to secure a meeting
time with Grandma, she may still be unaware of what we discovered.
After some time passed, Grandma reached out again and asked me to form a book study with
her on My Sisters Keeper with the objective of empowering students of color to maintain their
authentic selves and be successful at school. We are meeting April 18 th at Grandmas house for
dinner and planning.
Throughout this relationship, I learned the importance of perseverance, listening from my heart,
and empathy. Grandma has endured many forms of racism and does not give out trust easily.
Knowing how much she has to offer, and how critical a relationship with her is gave me the
stamina to continue reaching out.
Pursuing this relationship was critical to me from a values standpoint because I believe deeply in
racial equity and social justice. This parent viewed our school, leadership team, and myself as
biased due to some misconceptions and poor communication. Working on this relationship would
not only restore the faith of one of our parents, but would teach me the value of my role in
developing future relationships especially with our parents of color.