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Alexander de Arana
Dr. Harper
EDUC 545-006: Race & Racism in Education
October 11, 2016
Race Response Journal 1
I am studying in the teacher education program at Penn GSE. Aside

from the courses I am enrolled in at Penn, I am student teaching at a

neighborhood public high school called Kensington Health Sciences Academy

(KHSA). The student population has a large African American and Latino

population. It also has a large English Language Learner student population

that comes from predominately Spanish speaking backgrounds. Aside from

my interest in pursuing a career in the School District of Philadelphia, I am

happy to be placed at KHSA because I can use my Spanish fluency with the

students, staff, families, and surrounding community.

My father was born in Madrid, Spain and immigrated to the United

States when he finished his undergraduate work. My mother studied Spanish

and is also fluent. Both of my parents raised my sister and I to speak

Castilian Spanish and American English at home. I do not truly have a first

language. Throughout my volunteering experiences with Spanish speaking

students in high school or meeting new people as an undergraduate student,

I have always brushed off comments in which people say that my Spanish

fluency makes me less white. This comment has already made its way into

my experience at KHSA.
I have only taken over one block period in which I teach social

sciences. During the other blocks, my host teacher observes and includes

me in small capacities during the AP Government course. I have not gotten

to form as close of relationships with the AP students that I have formed with
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my students in my social sciences class. Because of this, I use time between

classes or in the halls to get to know each of the students that my host

teacher teaches.
One day, a group of AP Government students were walking in the

hallway on their way to class. I began engaging them with small talk to pass

the time when a freshman student walked by us. I asked him how he was in

Spanish. The group of students that I was with noticed that I spoke Spanish

and they began asking me questions about how I knew the language.
After realizing that my dad was born in Spain, one of the students

asked me, So, youre half White and half Spanish? I hesitated at first and

answered yes to their question. It was not until the next time that I saw the

group of students again that I decided to ask them a few questions about

their statement.
Before class began, I approached the group of students and asked

them if they remembered asking me that question. After they confirmed that

they remembered our conversation, I asked them why they assumed that I

was half White and half Spanish. The student that asked the question was

confused. They told me that since my dad was from Spain and since my

mom was from the United States that it only made sense that I was half

White and half Spanish. In order to get deeper into the conversation, I asked

them if they thought Spanish was a race or an ethnicity.

The students then defined Spanish as someone who is from the

country of Spain. I wanted to make sure that they were not using the term

Spanish as a descriptor that could be applied to anyone that spoke Spanish

or identifies as Latino/a or Hispanic. I have had friends and strangers use the
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term Spanish in this way before. After making this distinction, the students

started to try to defend their original statement by suggesting that all of

Hispanics or Latino/as were (at least linguistically) from Spain. Rather than

getting caught up in the linguistic or cultural ties between Spain and Spanish

speaking countries in the Americas, I shifted the conversation towards how I

identify myself.
I explained to the students that because many people assume that I

am White (and unable to speak Spanish) that I have benefited from the

privileges that come with my whiteness. I tried to explain the difference

between my linguistic and ethnic background being an addition to my racial

identity rather than it all being tied up into how I define myself racially. The

students seemed to understand the distinction that I was trying to make

although I could tell they were growing anxious or uncomfortable with the

conversation.
At first, I felt nervous about approaching the group of students. I have

been so accustomed to the idea of people calling me half-White simply

because I speak another language, perhaps that is why I was so quick to

brush off the original question. I grew more comfortable in the conversation

as I began asking questions and explaining my identity to the students. I

believe I could have approached the conversation in a different way. I am

still getting accustomed to being a student teacher and a figure of authority

at KHSA. Not only must I correct the thoughts that people have towards my

racial, linguistic, and ethnic identity but I must also learn how to do so in the

different capacities that I serve as. If I had been more comfortable and
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confident about the role I have at the high school, I believe the conversation

would have gone smoother and the group of students would not have been

so intimidated or pushed to accept what I was saying. Perhaps they would

have challenged me more than they did. I must think about this as I move

forward and how different scenarios will play out as I begin teaching in a

larger capactiy.
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Alexander de Arana
Dr. Harper
EDUC 545-006: Race & Racism in Education
November 8, 2016
Race Response Journal 2
My second disruption occurred in the classroom. Rather than speaking

with the AP students, I disrupted a conversation that students were having in

the Social Sciences class that I have started to teach. The students come

from a variety of racial, ethnic, and linguistic backgrounds. While my

students were completing a worksheet that I assigned in class, I overheard

one of my students that is Black (I will call her Tiffany) yell, You cant say

that! to another student that is Cuban (I will call him Mark). After

approaching them, I found that Mark had told Tiffany to Go back to Africa.

Both students were smiling and laughing during this exchange but I realized

that the girl that received the comment was trying to hide her discomfort.
I explained to the students that the comment was disrespectful

because it implies that Tiffany is not welcome in this country. Mark quickly

understood what I was saying and he agreed with me. However, he made

sure to point out that he was kidding and that because he also has dark skin,

that he felt that it was only a joke and it was otherwise harmless to say,

especially given her reaction of laughter. Both students began to talk about

their ancestries and its relation to Afro-Latino history in the Caribbean. I was

glad to see that Tiffany and Mark could think about the historical implications

of their dialogue but I felt that the conversation between the students began

to justify Marks comment rather than critique it. I felt a bit frustrated when

Mark went back to his desk to complete his work.

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I believe my frustration during this moment came from the laughter

and jokes from my students that followed seeing my Tiffany and Marks

ability to think about the historical aspects of Marks comments. Despite

Tiffany showing initial discomfort to his comment, she continued to laugh

and joke with him about the situation. Perhaps I did not do enough to disrupt

Marks comments. However, I must recognize that there are certain things

that play into the scenario that I cannot control. Tiffanys relationship with

Mark may alter how she reacts to his comments. If she did not get along

with Mark, perhaps there would have been no laughter or jokes that followed

his statements. Despite second-guessing myself and questioning whether or

not my students understood the points I brought up, I am glad I intervened in

order to create a safer classroom space for all of my students.

I not only felt that disrupting my students conversation was important

for dismantling part of the racial framework that my students and myself live

in, but I also thought that it would be helpful in creating a safe classroom

environment for my students. Several of my students are immigrants

themselves or have parents that have emigrated from other countries.

There are a variety of students that identify with different races, ethnicities,

languages, geographies, and abilities, so I thought that disrupting a

conversation like this could be helpful in establishing a safe place with such a

mixture of backgrounds and experiences. However, to what affect was my

disruption effective? If my students are both laughing and they both

understand the jokes that are being made, is it possible for me to dismantle

their mentalities and challenge them to think about their comments more
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seriously? Despite my ability to speak to Mark in Spanish, how much does

my whiteness affect my disruption? Does it make it less valuable? These are

things I must consider when I create my classroom environment.

Alexander de Arana
Dr. Harper
EDUC 545-006: Race & Racism in Education
November 29, 2016
Race Response Journal 3
I struggle with getting my students to use language that does not

include curse words or any kind of inappropriate language. Like many

teenagers, the students in my classrooms tend to curse pretty frequently

when they are having conversations with their friends. One day, one of my

students used the N-word when he was telling me a story after class. This

was not the first time I had heard a student use this word in the school

building but this time I decided to intervene.

I have a strong relationship with this student so I felt less

uncomfortable than I normally do when I hear students using the N-word or

other bad language. While telling me his story, he referred to one of the

people he was talking about as the N-word. He continued on with the rest of

his story as if choosing the N-word had zero impact on the weight of his

statement. I paused him and asked him if he realized what he had said. He

responded by telling me that the N-word was not a curse word and therefore

could be used in his story. I tried to have a conversation with him about the

words meaning and impact it could have on some people but he did not

understand my point of view. I quickly realized that I was unable to convince

him and that I was otherwise unprepared to have this conversation with him.
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In hindsight, I believe I could have asked him some questions that would

have helped me better tackle the conversation with this student.

I think that asking the student a few questions that would reveal his

perspective on using the N-word in his story would have allowed me an

entrance into unpacking the words meaning in the students mind. I could

have asked him why he thought it was okay to use the N-word. I also could

have asked him if he thought his use of the word was justified in any way. In

previous classes, I have heard students that are not Black say the N-word

with other Black students in conversation. When I observe these

conversations, no students seem to mind using that term. I wonder if some

students of color believe that they are allowed to use it because they are not

White. These questions would have helped me in communicating with the

student more effectively.

I felt that my whiteness created an obstacle for me in addressing the

students use of the N-word. I felt that no matter how I approached the

students use of the N-word, I would be unable to properly communicate the

message I wanted to send to him. Perhaps this is where the line of

questioning that I thought of in hindsight would have greatly benefitted me.

I knew I should react in some way once the student said the N-word but I also

froze for a brief moment on how I should attempt to unpack the meaning

that the N-word holds in the students mind.

I realized that in some of the classes we have with Dr. Harper some

students share scenarios that they felt they could have disrupted. Many

times, these students are given advice and asked to go back and disrupt it

more effectively. However, I do not believe going back and talking to this
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student about a brief story he told me a few classes ago would be an

effective way to disrupt his use of the N-word. If I were to bring up a short

story he told me days ago, I am sure he would question why I wanted to

discuss it further rather than listening to my disruption. For that reason, I felt

that I should have acted in the moment. However, I quickly realized that

when I acted in the moment I felt very unprepared to attempt to address his

perspective.
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Alexander de Arana
Dr. Harper
EDUC 545-006: Race & Racism in Education
December 6, 2016
Race Response Journal 4
In order to finish the government portion of the Social Sciences course

I am teaching to twelfth graders, I decided to do a lesson on local

government. In it, I chose to look at how schools operate within different

communities. I compared urban public schools, urban charter schools,

suburban public schools, and suburban private schools to each other. In an

effort to see how much background knowledge my students had on how

school systems operate, I asked them what they thought the benefits and

drawbacks were for each of the four categories. During this conversation,

my host teacher asked me to share my experiences from the suburban public

school that I attended.

I told my students about the clubs, activities, sports, programs,

facilities, and resources that my high school had. During this time, one of my

students told me that I was one of those. I knew that his comment was

referring to my whiteness and how I was raised in the Philadelphia suburbs.

He, along with many of his classmates, attached me with the stereotypes

that often accompany a suburban lifestyle. Rather than growing upset with

this student, I chose to use this opportunity as a time to share my

background with my students.

One of my biggest fears as a teacher in an urban school district is that

my students will see me as misunderstood. While I have a good relationship

with the students in this class, I felt very challenged during this moment. My

host teacher jumped in after the students comment and explained why
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some families choose to move to the suburbs despite the high prices in

mortgages and taxes that they must pay. We connected this to the school

districts in many of these areas and the students understood our explanation

right away. However, after this, I felt like I had to defend my background and

experiences.
I shared with my students that my father grew up in a neighborhood

that was economically disadvantaged in Madrid, Spain. I told them that he

was able to do well in school and enrolled in a PhD program in the United

States. Upon moving to this country, he had very little money and had to

work throughout graduate school. I felt that I had to share my fathers

experiences in order to validate myself in front of my students. While his

experiences are not my own, I felt that they have influenced me in how I

view my upbringing, community, and education.

Later that day, I grew angry with myself. I felt that I should not have to

defend my experiences growing up in suburban Philadelphia in order to

relate to my students. While I acknowledge and value the experiences that I

had and their impact on my professional positioning to me today, I do not

feel that I should grow angry. Part of me thinks that when I shared my

fathers experiences with my students that I was just sharing more

information about me with them. However, the other part of me believes

that I shared my fathers story in order to justify my background so that I

could become more relatable to my students.

I must realize that while it is important to grow closer with my

students, I must not compromise my own identity or beliefs. It would be

great if my students felt that they could relate to me and that our
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relationship will benefit their experiences in my classroom but I cannot

falsely fabricate that relationship because I may be uncomfortable with my

whiteness and the privileges that are attached to it. I must learn to

acknowledge my whiteness and privileges and share them with my students.

That will be the true meaning of an authentic relationship with my students.

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Alexander de Arana
Dr. Harper
EDUC 545-006: Race & Racism in Education
December 6, 2016
Race Response Overarching Statement
I noticed that all of my race response journal entries took place in a

school setting. Because it is my first experience as a classroom instructor, I

am being exposed to a lot of things at once. However, I find that I notice the

differences between my whiteness and the prevalence of students of color in

my school setting the most.

The narrative of white folks who teach in the hood has been one that

I have heard over and over throughout my time at Penn GSE. I recognize

that I must be aware of the race relations that exist between my students

and myself but I believe that the message from this narrative has caused me

to constantly be thinking about the difference between my whiteness and

the experiences that my students live with. I have almost only been paying

attention to race and its affect on my professional life rather than viewing it

through other lenses.

Perhaps I see race as being more important in my professional life as I

do with my life with my family or with my friends. I have to challenge myself

to think of race outside of my courses and my professional life. I must think

about it in the relationships I have that exist with my friends, family,

neighbors, and anyone else that I encounter in my life. Races impact is not

solely limited to the walls of my classroom or school.

I am, however, glad that I am thinking about race so early on in my

career, especially in relation to my students. I think that this can benefit my

teaching practices if I grow more aware and conscious of race. Hopefully,

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this mentality will benefit all of my students in achieving success in my

classroom, in school, and in life.