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  • KoDT - 37 - 15 Orcs On A Dwarfs Chest

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    Dobre Vlad
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    Knights of the Dinner Table Comic

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    KoDT - 37 - 15 Orcs on a Dwarfs Chest

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    Knights of the Dinner Table Comic

    Авторское право:

    © All Rights Reserved
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    Отметить как неприемлемый контент
    370 просмотров60 страниц

    KoDT - 37 - 15 Orcs On A Dwarfs Chest

    Загружено:

    Dobre Vlad
    Knights of the Dinner Table Comic

    Авторское право:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Скачайте в формате PDF или читайте онлайн в Scribd
    Отметить как неприемлемый контент
    из 60
    a Se Thee S| CTA Cate GES 3 i. wccie GT TT KODT No.#15 “Mama Told Me not to Play’ sold out KODT No.#35 “Death Awaits" $2.95 KODT No.#16 “The Dice of Wrath $3.95 KODTNo.#36_ ‘HackMaster of Puppets’ $2.95 KODT No.#17 ‘This Sword for Hire!” $3.95, KODT Tales From The Vault $9.95, KODT No.#18 “Against All Odds" soldout KODT Tales From The Vault vol, 2 $9.95 KODT No.#19 “Heroes of the HackLeague” $3.95 KODT Bundle of Trouble vol. one $9.95 KODT No.#20 “Hack in Space! sold out —KODT Bundle of Trouble vol. two $9.95 KODT No.#21 “Home is Where You Hang Yer Dice Bag’ $2.95 KODT Bundle of Trouble vol. three $9.95 KODT No.#22 “Opportunity Knocks!” $2.95 KODT —_ Bundle of Trouble vol. four $9.95 KODT No.#23 "Dice Follies!" $2.95 To purchase back issues, send a check or maney order KODT No.#24 ‘Hackzila’ $2.95 {made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: KODT No.#25 “Secrets of the HackFiles” $2.95 - KODT No.#26 “The Mask of El Ravager $2.95 nner and Comnpeny: Mell Order Fuliimonts KODT No.#27. “Hackburger Hill $2.95 2a0W; Mat Soot E14 Lake Zurich I 60047 KODT No.#28 “Hoody Freakin’ Hoo!!!’ $2.95 KODT No.#29. “Bad Moon Risin” $2.95 KODT No.#30 ‘No Honor” $2.95 KODT No.#31 “Don't Fear the Reaper” $2.95 of fax/E-mall[Kenzerco@aol.com) your Visa, MasterCard, American Expres KODT No.#32 “Tales from Hawg Wallers” $2.95 Discover card number, your signature, card type and expiration date to u KODT No.#33 “Wild Wild Hack’ $2.95 (847) 540-1970. Please include $2 per Vauit or Bundile of Trouble, $1 KODT No.#34 “Of Dice and Men’ $2.95 the first comic and 50¢ per additional comic for shipping and handiin KoDT T-Shirts 19.95 (+ $3 s/h} ’ KoOT Minetutes ip on & = a Avelon #1 The Sciolls of Dyom [1 of 4] $2.95 Elemental (board game) $9.95 (+ §2 ehh) Avelon 2 TheSaolsof Dyom[2ots] $2.95 Kingdoms of Kalamar (boxed set) Deen aay, Avelon se TheScle of Dyom [sols] = $2.06 ‘Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands $9.05 (+ S1.@/h) | Avelon #4 The Scrolls of Dyom [4 of 4] $2.95 Mythos of the Divine and Worldly $9.95 (+ $1 s/h) Avelon #5 — The Way ol the Wyden $5.95 Tragedy in the House of Brodein $9.95 (+ $1 s/h) 112 page graphic novel Secret Temple of Adajy $9.95 (+$1 s/h) Avelon#6 — The Legacy of Thrain (1 of 5) $2.95 GameMaster's Workshop: vol | $9.95 (+$1 s/h) Avelon#7 —TheLogacyot Thain 2of5) $2.95 Kalamar Quests: Unguarded Hoard $3.95 (+ 50e s/h) Avelon #8 — The Legacy of Thrain [3 0f 5) $2.95 Kalamar Quests: The Hungry Undead $3.95 (+ 50 s/h) Kalamar Quests; Night of the Rotlord $3.95 (+ 50e s/h) Avelon #9 — The Legacy of Thrain (4 of 5} $2.95, Kalamar Quests: The Scirocco's Kiss $3.95 (+ 50¢ S/h) | KoDT - FANS crossover special $2.95 KODT MINIATURES? ? TRLids: IT'S ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! ! THEYRE AVAILABLE NOW EXCLUSIVELY FROM KENZER AND COMPANY. TO PURCHASE YOUR VERY OWN SET OF KODT MEW EATURES (719.95 - ?3 S/H), SEND A CHECK OR MONEY ORDER (MADE PAYABLE TO KENZER AND COMPANY) TO THE MAIL ORDER FULFILLMENT ADDRESS LISTED ABOVE OR FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR PLASTIC. * OK, it's almost 100 good to be srue because your set of miniatures will be unpainted. We were working on a deal with some paint every set but wi female Russian gamers to h deal fell shroug x ¢ + we, Ca CTT Nd “15 Ores on a Oead Owarf’s Chest” The KODT Development Team is Jolly R. Blackburn, Brian Jelke, Steve Johansson and David S. Kenzer Cover Art by George and Jackie Vrbanic TABLE OF CON DEPARTMENTS: Cries from the Attic Table Talk Heard it on the GameVine™ Weird Pete’ Bulletin Board” 1: Back Room atthe ste Die’ coLumNs) ? Brian’s Disks Parting Shots" THE STRIPSy Room t@ Improve The Pep Talk ‘The Lame Maste Not Om My Wateh! Child’s Play. The Prize Fighters ‘The Shields of Bandran FEATURES: Chop Til You Drop Rumble for the Dinner Table . ‘Although hie won's admit it, Knights of the Dinner Table™ was created by Jolly R. gh a Sr A a sl mapatne Sig (ohh he N axpubli psn cere ‘Nine years late, he continues draw and write ily Tieton ge ROBE arebonk Series, Writing KODT strips isnt neatly the ! pera Se aera | incredil Tein tes el sods rl Ss af +) = = [4 lad 4 = = -) 4 ra 7) fr = - *) ed on a deserted island in the South China Sea and ‘pisted agaist each other in a rigorous contest of phyical and mental endurance.” In the end, the sole-survvor walks away with a mil- lion dolla, Sounds like the flavor text off the back ofa new Role-playing supplement. Does it come with dice? [: being billed asa ‘Fight to che Finish? Sateen people stand Welcome to reality adventure, che latest buzzword in necwork television. Slated for the summer line up in the year 2000, Survivor is just one of mapy new television shows venturing beyond traditional series to try to stem the los of viewers to cable TTV and the Internet. (Other eximple: include UPN’: primetime suresling show WWE Smackdown! and ABC's hit summertime game show Who Wams To Be a Millionaire) This show sounds frighteningly similar to Lord of the Flies (and CBS openty admits the book partly inspired the idea). The pro- ddacers will strand 16 Americans on an uninhabited island, Pulau ‘Tiga island off the Bomeo coast, for an expected six weeks of round-the-clock taping Contestants will be selected through a nationwide search ‘Then they will be placed on the island and che ‘un’ begins. The 16 contestants will have to forage for food and shelter (although raving outdor specials and medical rears available for emerger- cies cerainly rakes some of he fin out of it.) At the end of each epizode (once eery three days om the idand), the participants will cast secret ballos to expel “loses”. The las seven who ae expelled choose the winner from the remaining ewo contestants, Editorial of a Madman “We're going to have FUN on this island!” The ‘Beast’ to Simon in the book Lorp OF THE PLIES™ rT, ee The CBS press release proudly points oot that, “The novel Lond of the Fi a sel i gees a ee eee who survive the crash eae armen landing of an airplane and ty to survive on an uninhabited island, They descend into barbarism, splicing ino differen ribes and fighting one anothe. ‘Of course the characters inthe book only had Piggy’ spect cles ad a conch shell o fight ove, Makes you wonder what will happen when a milion dolar is thrown into the mi. (Sigh) I'm sure the whole thing will tn out being very sly and the ‘an- ge aspect willbe overplayed but sil - isan intresting idea Afes ‘eligi oe, ete eee = phe aid responded, “What the hell i ging on? Did they pue a bunch of gamer in charge of programming at CBS?” Although Im fly certain the contestants worit be finishing cach other off with shapened sticks, it does make me wonder if reality adver will kad 0 television shows resembling the book Dream Park by Larry Niven in which live-action tole playing games ar filmed for use in moviestlevision shows. Twondet if they allow me to bring my AD&D Wildemess Survival Guide with me othe ilind? Hin ot Jelly R. Blackburn CINON, PETE! MY CHARACTER HAS AN 18 DEXTERITY! YOU CAN'T TELL Me HE DION’T GET A CHANCE ‘TO REACT BEFORE THIS GOAT HERDER RAN ME THROUGH WITH A SHARPENED STICK, (OH YOU DEFINITELY HAD TIME TO REACT ‘AND YOU SAY THIS GUY I REALLY DON’T THINK 1M GOING TO LIKE SON, YOU HAD TIME TO DROP Wn SAW |S A TENTH LEVEL THE MACKMASTER 4TH EDITION RULES. ‘AND THINK TO YOURSELF, "I’M A FRICKIN. "MONK-FIGHTER? DEAD MAN" BEFORE YOU FELT THE STICK I LOOKS LIKE THEY FOUND A WAY Pats a ance I yee, [The Cabil . [Holistic Design, limagine Role Playing . [Inner City Games }Knuckleduster INBOS software. Palladium Books Reaper Miniawures. Steve Jackson Games... War Dogs Game Center War Games West Wirards of the Coast Issue #37: 15 Ores on a Dead Dwarf’s Chest” Palladium Books® role-playing games, limited only by your imagination ‘Copyright 1999 Palladium Books inc. AMl rights reserved, worldwide, Palladium Books®, Megaverse®, and Rifts® are all regis- tered trademarks owned & licensed by Kevin Siembieda and Palladium Books Inc. Systems Failure and other titles and namies are trademarks owned by Kevin Siembieda and Palla- dium Books Inc, Systems Failure™ When the cities fell, and the world went “off-line,” all seemed lost, Anarchy reigned. All that is left: are the Survivalists, Na- ture-Lovers, Farmers, Gun Bunnies, Eggheads and backwoods wackos living on the fringe. Most are people found in remote regions — many because they were prepared for the Y2K Bug and the collapse of civilization. Oh, there are “bugs” all right. Alien bug-like things that feed on energy and turn humans into zombie-like slaves, ‘Things are even worse thatt those “prepared” could have imagined, but these survivors aren't ready to give up.America (and then the world) will be free! And they mean business. That's right, play one of the “wackos” fight- ing to save the world in a post-holocaust envi- ronment that makes worries about the Y2K Bug seem like a picnic. © A complete, new role-playing game. © Everything you need to play in one dy- namic package (dice and players not in- cluded). Quick, easy-to-learn rules. Fast paced and dynamic fun, ‘The Villains: Inhuman invaders from an- other dimension. © The Heroes: Society’s castaways, nuteases & survivalists, © The adventure: Reclaiming the world for god-fearing humans. Don’t miss the adventure. 128 page role-playing game. Only $12.95 — in stores everywhere. Palladium Books® Inc. Dept. K 12455 Universal Drive Taylor MI, 48180 www.palladiumbooks.com Learn mote about all of Palladium’s games. Chat with other role-playing gamers. Get the latest Palladium news and updates. Download free, on-line supplemental books. Surf to over 200 other Palladium game sites. Find on-line game events. Join in on talks with V.P. Maryann Siembieda. See why we get over 70,000+ hits a month. That's — www,palladiumbooks.com — where we eat, sleep and breathe role-playing games. THEIR TACTICAL BATTLES: Dwarves vs. Orcs, Humans vs. Elves, Orcs vs. Lizards OUR TACTICAL BATTLES: Clowns vs. Romans, Platypi vs. ww Troops, Giant Bugs vs. Knights, Turtles vs. Aztecs, Suburban Demons vs, Napoleon, Robots vs. Classical Monsters, Cowboys vs. Arab Mystics, Native Americans vs. Religious Freaks, etc., etc, etc... THES CABLE P.O. BOX 736 HAMPSTEAD, NH 03841 CABIL@CABIL.COM It’s Not Armageddon. They’re Not Evil Incarnate. But. . . You're Invited To Their “Very Special” Show CIBGUS OF mee \ as POCABIL COM, Ka5OR [MINIS & RULES AVAILABLE ORT And They Want To Sacrifice You \ THE TACTICAL © MINIATURES Gq F Gq & UNIVERSAL SYSTEM ae Knights OF in Tiappbeeg WWW.CABIL.COM IS NOW AVAILABLE, WITH BULLETIN BOARDS, MAILING LISTS, ERRATA, INFO FOR RETAILERS, AND MORE! Dear KODT, Tye just recently gotten heavily into KODT (1 heed of tem fra log. time ‘rut only read ther casually). in the last few weet ve been ona binge to buy every issue I could get my hands on. Within less than a month I've a proud collection of sg 20d Ah Ba of ‘Trouble. (ify want my vote for best strip... fed: Conenaret he cdot 1 oa ter bow many tes [read that sip, I never gprindofit) When issue #34 came out I hurriedly soached ic up from my loa gues and read iton the train home, Teboen fo lowing the whole Sare-fohn Lee drama and was waiting to see what would conte of this svhole thing and I wanted to see how the Hawgvallers fiasco would tum cut. 1 was not disappointed on either socom In fact, and E know this sounds really cheesy, it had to be one of the most dra- aie al eapteocal vaed ree ad eve wrote. To see the kind of person John Lee realy was, and to sce Brian's reaction to Bob and Dave's ideas of *te-ini- tein” really cllowed lot oF ight a the ind of ide pessoe Beian telly T even found ype satng a the comic and muttering “Damn,” when Switch fos his best drinkin’ buddy The lise panel where he and Hag converse (Tour you another one, Suich? “Please.” rally he: ears’ tsar pbeiesy Theanipie issue gave life to alot of characters. AND- *-Lalnost ogo ts.iter tev Pate the mon finaly got hid, ROYALLY. GO NEWT! Just wanted to ay thanks forthe great span kp ap ch rd vo ou go j Mike Gallagher via E-mail Dear KODT, Jolly, thanks much forthe suggestion to go check out the Mummy. My wife (a sumer of 6 year) and myself (e gamer of ‘almost 20 years) went and caught teat the theater and truly enjoyed it from a gamers perspective Pethaps your suggestions colored our Peeps but hough ‘whole movi, we could ee i as a RPG adventure (maybe the indiana Joes gue’), and loved it wanted ro recom- mend another gamer movie to everyone. For everyone who’ ever played a ) Superhero RPG, ‘or even big comic book fans, go see Mystery Men, We'e currently in a Champions campaign, and almost our ‘entite group went tose it together. This vas great fun, and afterwards we had din- ner, and pointed fingers as wo who resem- bled which character, and how much our heroes resembled the “Other Sapetheroes.” [recommend everyone see- ing i with your whole RPG group. DruidDuo@doitnow.com Dear KODT, I picked up isue 34 ofthe Knights, and “till Hath no Fury” had me aghing 0 hard T could’ even breathe. HHNF just might be destined to be a chssc aon with Ores At The Gates and Dances Wit Pirbulls. (On August 21st | went to the location of the TSR Silver Tour in Detroit and when they eal for que tions about D&D" asked them seaight wp: “Whe would win a one on one fg between Drizet Do'Urden and El Ranger” They gave me a prety good answer “Depend on other ayo eb wre the story. 1 have to hand it t0 TSR for being so honest. Keep up the great work! ‘Tim Knight Detroit Michigan Dear KODT, T hadnt been to my local comic book store in quite sometime, soit was gpeat 9 see issues #33 and #34 waiting for me. I ‘must say, each issue has been geting sub- stantially better. The strips ace geting bet- ter, the extra mara is getting beter, you name i Ill improving, Iclooks ike you ys are definitely moving towards a “real” e-Playing Game magazine format, whichis great. 1 parcculay liked the added. gaming miei aide Uke he Halling get anticle are grat. enjoyed it because it not only provided background info. on the subject, but also exact stats and informa- tion, usable with a number of rules sys- tems; it was ao great to see some mater- al for Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay” as it's a relatively unknown game Td love to see more articles of this type. Another see- tion I particularly enjoy is The Game Mechanic Although I dont play most of the games mentioned, Im eager o try out the Risk-setup rules for Axis & Alles (swe #33). The old standbys, like Brains Small Press Picks and Parting Shots are still at fun to read, as well as the lomebrewed KODT strips and the Gamevine section. ‘With the good must also come the bad, Our Readers Talk Back! nothing i really perfect. Honesty I dont find. much interest in the non-KODT. strips (ie Shardar and the Shields of Bandran) \ dont find: much interest in Fantasy comics (or novel for that mate), so those go untead. As does the fiction, once agai, fantasy isnt my cup of ta Vs mail tes beg ene lishing some sci-fi (or ether genre) comics or fiction? That might add aber balance tothe mix To sumit up, you guys are doing a great job, and I look forward to every isue, | ‘must say I was quite impressed’ when 1 ‘opened up issue #34, it's great to seea 72- age book for so cheap. I’ a sign chat Ketoer Be Co's dedicated to the indy, and asa result people wil (hope) con tinve co support you guys, 1 know I will ‘Sean O'Mara via E-mail Dear KODT, I ove ‘Knights ofthe Dinner Table’ | see alot of my gaming group in the pay- rs and a disturbing similarity to B.A, in myself ofttimes. AS a ae ref (Oa ‘female ref) since 73, Vv sen lots of play ers come 10 the able. However, I write in to take issue with Dave Arneson’ article, ‘Dice Story’ in #34. ow while be goa fot of rg bed comit one dein the old original packages of ice (circa 1973) In addition to the yellow 44, the pink 4G (that Tew tesed int « bach and subicwted wich dive fom other games), the green d8, the blue d12 and the white 420 there was also. a RED €20 in those packs, (And while the other dice-were of hese asic eh 0 we made fig impact plasic) The polyhedral dice that were sold in the dealers room at the Easter "73 Con at which I got into gaming (ar iguicon) were imported trom the fidwest along wich the boxed rules. These ‘were the same ones sold ar my local hobby shop in Gargen Grove, CA, s0 I believe the sets were universal ‘Thankfilly, other dice were soon pro- duced to replace the cheesy dice, but | ill have them squiteled away (dee hoard, ) + and use the d20s to this day. Crayon to "erate inkeaan! pa pook os hold the crayon in worked well then (C+ now). Those ted d20s ae justly feared by any players to this very day. (@ Troll my dice out where everyone can se ‘en, jus uz Troll wel with ary dice.) Barbara Jonson-Haddad via E-mail Thanks for the leter, Barbara. ! wonder cos oe ave ‘dice stories? Incidentally, Bob Herzog is apping me on i ites seal aceaet aee “The Lady knows ber Dice!” He want Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * November, 1999 a PE eS EJ lal > =) Pm | 4 Bb = 4 Tow if you are married. bs ly Dear KODT, Jus wanted to let you know thar Ue found a really good we for KODT live readings. 1 js up a ev goa of exe Fre ‘mast part were an established core group with anew expeticnced. player and a wife who's ‘watched but finally participating. 1 wanted to star off our ist gaming sesion with «lot creativity. Afr writing out scripts for Lair of the Gazebo and Bleating to Death, T set up the camera and we got the-session saree 1 yas a blast. We plan on doing at least one reading before ech guming session. The most inportinquesion i howd the ain? ‘Wasitwuly effected by the reaing Ta have co say yes. As the new DMI had planned on them getting their characters suid, ming frm group apy fr an adventuring license, and. get to theit patton’s tower. Well, the roleplaying was incredible. Sure alr oft was thei ow talent be I couldnt help but think the warm-up of reing some KODT gor their creative juices flowing ‘The characters did finally get their adven- turing license but we had to quit before they tou ftw. veya the cB was ad to sop but had one ofthe best expe ness and adventures fora Tong time Just waned you to know. ‘On another note where] work (the muli- aller conportes under a big corporate umbrel- e)Lwas one ofthe employees picked tobe fet cured in this monuh neler. They asked the usual questions of what my favorite food is (Chicken Fried Steak, bold the gray) and my favorite movie (Hate 0 admit, but its The Warrior). They also wanted me to write a weston and answer unique to me. I asked Sat oe of he mre nal hing bape to you?” My answer was “Binding a character in a.comic book hat not only looked like me but also voiced similar opinions.” They put a pice of Wei Pete opposite oo} pee pro 1 Sie conor Hope thi increases sls inthe Wichita area a iele bie! Jusc thought you should know. Marvin via E-mail Dear KODT Gawds, 1 haye been collecting KODT since issue #2 (anfrunatey, th apy of sue 1 to round out my colletion) | think the sores and characters are great. 1 have been gaming since I was 12 years ald (17 years) and can relate to just about every stor line you have publi I would like to make a request. We have seen everyone sit in the BIG chair except Bria, the professed GOD of rule knowledge. | would greatly enjoy sexing the group pit themslves against Brians knowledge, 2s well as how Brian would cope with the power..emember “Pruer comps, but absolute ‘power corre south” 1 would like wo take the time to commend you specifically on the Sarah & John sory line. T cant wait for Sarais revenge, | eave you with the thought that myself, and our entice gum ‘wosship your Slat We val be alae ages sions for sips in the near Future, Best regards, Niceols Cosmatos Ottawa, ON Canada Most rear bos that Brian bung up his GM sen afer some tribe ‘cide and swore never tose bebind the sereen again. Brian will pro up as a GM ina future nono prior tothe incident. Some ofthe developers fel thatthe incident ielf wuss srnumavc fr Briam we shouldnt reveals fil ‘i for Bran, ben known wo ip the table at the mere menton oft Joly Dear KODT, First let me the way. KODT has to be my favorite maga sie oe Tees eligi ot yea de laughs keep bee ie Bi Saad ay, ce other day I was playing avi oc tel Shadow Mada an RP Facet Tacos oR room completely stuffed with swords, shields, armor and gold. Ir was then that one of my characters uttered: "Hoody Hoo!” Te seems that nowadays, everyone is a KODT fan! If this gets posted in the ma nT js ann sy ht i woul be af everyone wrote in KODT references that have seen here and there and they got posted in ‘Parting Shows” one day the customary pnite out of Dan Levinson FlareMog@aolcom Hsia et it would be ut if everyone sent in any KODT ences as To an lady Hes te soni ara ster: (Chek out cis isues GameVine for another interesting “Hoody Hoo” sighting.) Nou, if we ean just persuade one of the presi- Guatnceatina Mien ‘poign soca est ear ~ tat would ruby put ‘gamers on the map. Jelly Dear KODT, have never been compelled to writer a ‘omic or magazine before. Then one day L was a my local comic shop (Dragonfire Comics in Clie 1A) and noticed 2. magazine ented Knights of the Dinner Table [picked ic up and tea a litle oft ‘Wow! I've never read anything as hilar- cus and tue as this, It has been quite some ‘time since I have but I recognize a lot of my friends in these yery pages. Ive known sve Bo an Daves fev Bins (tam ter cen had the same names some femct Te also known a few Sars (F consider myself bein the Sara caregoy). As for BAA. Felton, he is like a mizror image of the DM we had Needles to say (be wll anyway) { pur- chpre cc op sales had tad howe added the book to my must-have lst. fis the best gaming magazine I have ever read (Bet you ear that al Well before start realy rambling. on about how great this book is Tl just say Up the gpd werk ad Fn oki forwurd the next sue Tveincluded a song parody that may not be printable but ic was fun o do and I thought you migh ike it ‘Derek Parmentier via E-mail "The fre sg, Derk WP ite ihe alge nebinig ties i the next KODT ve-eang. Jolly YOU CAN WRTE TO US VA E-MAIL AT JOLLYRB @ AOL.COME OR YOU CAN SEND YOUR SNAIL MAIL TO KOOT LETTERBOK, 1003 MONROE PRE, MAROON. 46953 Issue #37: 15 Ores on a Dead Dwarfs Chest™ Gary, Gary, Quite Contrary pnire sce IT'S DAY FOUR OF THE HACKMASTER REGIONAL TOURNAMENT AND THE F/ELD HAS BEEN GREATLY NARROWED WITH THE MEN BEING SEPARATED FROM THE BOYS, ONLY 7HE BEST REMAIN, AS THE F/NAL ROUNDS DRAW NEAR, THE CROWDS Ee Na UUST ARRIVED THAT HARD E/GHT ENTERPRISES 3 ‘MISTER JACKSON" TO RUN THE FINAL ROUNDS AND PRESENT THE WINNERS WITH A CHECK FOR $1,500 DOLLARS. KEEP IT DOWN, EVERYONE! GARY'S ON HIS WAY. THAT WAS EARL SLACKMOZER ON THE PHONE AND HE SAYS LOOK ALLS KN S. THE MAN 1S COMING, GARY'S PRIVATE PLANE JUST TOUCHED DOWN AT THE AEOIET. SOSA Vas ARS TENS TE UB. MUNICIPAL AIRPORT. &S SOON AS EARL GETS HIM CHECKED GETS HERE, WE STLL HAVE A FEW ELIMINATION Z GAMES 10 RUN. I NEED TROY'S BOYS ON INTO HIS MOTEL THEY SHOULD BE HERE - AN HOUR AT MOST. PRPeEr WTI RETRCTEAE TORIC. Ten TNEED LOGAN'S HEROES ON TABLE TWO WITH... UH. EXCUSE ME PETE, MY BOYS AREN'T HERE YET. CAN WE GIVE 'EM A FEW MORE MINUTES? I’M SURE THEY'LL BE... WHAT ROOM IS THINK HELL SIGN MY HE STAYING INP FIRST EDITION BOOKS? BUNGH'A CRY |S HE BRINGING ANY 15. vo vo BABIES! T TOLD \ NEW HACKMASTER ‘COMING. SORRY TROY! THE RULES ARE YOU HE'D BE HERE. MATERIAL? wind Hi? VERY CLEAR ON NO-SHOWS/ me ay \ | une LN a, Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * November, 1999 7 1 DON'T WANNA HEAR IT. IF THEY’RE NOT SEATED AT THE TABLE BY THE TIME THE GM PICKS LIP HIS DICE, THEY FORFE/T THE GAME AND DROP FROM THE RUNNING, DAMMIT/ YOU KNOW THE DEAL, \ THAT'S YEAH, WELL, L/FE’S NOT FAIR! T.DON’T BELIEVE IT/ 1 WONDER WHERE ‘THEY COULD BEP THEY WERE DEAD SET ON WINNING THIS TOURNAMENT. UH...GEE.., WHO KNOWS? MAYBE THEY COULON’T rf NOT FAIRE oe cit SOR ASS WANING FOR THE UUINIOR LEAGUE SON. ‘STAND THE HEAT. GUESS THEY OW MYT DION'T WANT IT SPEAKING OF WO SHOWS’, T WONDER WHAT'S KEEPING BR/ANP T.CERTAINLY HOPE HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE TAKING OUT THE TRASH/* (OH DON’T WORRY. HE/LL BE HERE. HE Cee MUST HAD A LITTLE ERRAND TO RUN. YEAH -SNICKER- ALITTLE ERRAND. A FEW MINUTES LATER.... NOW, NOW, WE'RE OLD FRIENDS HERE B.A. NO NEED TO DO THAT. I TRUST YOU, WE’LL JUST PUT IT ON YER TAB, HEY PETE, YOU HAPPEN TO BRING YER CAMERA? I FORGOT MINE. T WANTED ‘0 GET A PHOTO WITH GARY. voce inca “ON UP THE TEN BUCKS 2 FOR THE AUTOGRAPH " Gota pare SESSION AND I'LL THROW IN A POLAROID, | SAY, THANKS. YA KNOW MY HAT IS OFF TO YOU PETE, I REALLY DIDN'T THINK YOU'D PULL IT OFF. GARY JACKSON SWORE HE'D NEVER SET FOOT IN MUNCIE AGAIN, HOW THE HELL 010 YOU DO IT? YEAH, GARY'S A GREAT MAN. TIM CERTAINLY GLAD HE ‘SHOWED, IF HE HADN'T YOU WOULO'VE HAD A SMALL HEY He’S A BUSINESSMAN SANE AS ME. WERE NOT GONG TO LET A LITLE BAD BLOOD DEPRINE THE FANS OF A GOOP TIME! OKAY, LEMME RUN HOME AND Es eens paaieag Issue #37: 15 Ores on a Dead Dwarf’s Chest™ HEY, TELL YOUR BOYS THEY'RE UP ON TABLE FOUR IN TWO HOURS! IT'S THE ONE SET UP IN THE BASEMENT. GARY'S GOING TO BE RUNNING THEM SO FOR GAWD'S SAKE TELL THEM TO BE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOR, (OH DON’T WORRY. THE GUYS ARE SO EXCITED THEY'RE BESIDE THEMSELVES. WOW/ THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST HACK-TOURNEY EVERI? ea, ‘SMALL FORTUNE 70 BRING MISTER “GAWD ALMIGHTY” TD say IV's JACKSON DOWN HERE. ‘THe BEST INVESTMENT MEANWHILE AT THE A/RPORT.... ‘OKAY, PUT THE BOARD GAME UP AND I'LL GET OUR LUGGAGE. AND MAKE SURE YOU SEPARATE THE GERMAN ORDNANCE FROM THE BRITISH PIECES THIS TIME. 1. WON DAT GAME, YOU OWE ME TWENNY DOLLWARS/ GIMME!? TUL Pay vA HEN We | GET TO THE HOTEL, AMOI! TWENNY WS Y NOW! ll HEY JO JO!/ WELCOME TO MUNCIE/ WELL, HEY THERE SMOKIN’ EARL! GOOD TO SEE YA AGAIN YOU'RE SURE LOOKIN’ GOOD, BR, LIKEWISE, CAN T HELP“ YOu WITH NO THANKS. THESE BAGS DON’T LEAVE MY SIGHT. I GOT THE FINAL DRAFTS FOR MACKMASTER 4TH EDITION INEM. $0 YOU'RE THE POOR VICTIM WHO GOT. STUCK WITH BABYSITTING THE TWO OF US, EH? / UH. WHERE'S 1/M STANDING RIGHT HERE! Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine™ * November, 1999 GARY HAD TO FLY TO TAHOE ON BUSINESS AT THE LAST MINUTE, SINCE IT WAS H/S WEEKEND TO HAVE THE X/D, HE THOUGHT IT’D BE A GOOD LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR TIMMY If HE STEPPED IN FOR HIM. THis IS 0000 WRONG. ~_ 0 You Guys HAVE A CHUCK E. Next Time You Change Distributors... Shouldn’t It Be Your Choice? MERGEDIES| IME'S'T A trusted name for 20 years.. 0-SOS--GAME * wrgmswst@aol.com Room to Improve = By LLY BLACUR THIS IS FREAKIN’ AWESOME?! §—1/LL HAVE TO ADMIT, I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT YESTERDAY'S GAME. I THOUGHT We eee ie alee! (NITRO WAS GOING TO TAKE US OUT WITH THAT "BALLROOM BLITZ” AOVENTURE FINAL FOUS BUT WE NARROWLY SQUEAKED BY, NOW THAT PRIZE MONEY'S AS GOOD AS OURS, WITH B.A, OUT AT THE SNACK er 4 TROUGH, HE'S JusT BUSTIN’ WITH PRIDE, HELLO? GUYSPP AM I THE ONLYONE HERE CONCERNED ABOUT BRIAN’S ABSENCE?? IF HE DOESN'T SHOW WE GET DROPPED FROM THE RUNNING. \ LINOULDN’T BE MAKING TOO MANY PLANS FOR THAT PRIZE MONEY ust YET. HE SAYS WE'RE LOOKING 000 - REAL GOOD! SARA, WILL YOU RELAX? TRUST US. He’LL BE HERE, HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN BRIAN TO BE LATE FOR A GAME? BRIAN? PL! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN YOU WERE CUTTIN’ IT KINDA CLOSE WEREN'T YOUP ‘YOU SAY HE"S ON SOME KIND OF ERRAND?P JUST WHAT'S 50 IMPORTANT FOR HIM TO R/SKxu nee THAD A LITTLE, HEY WELL, WELL, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL... GUYS! ao LITTLE ERRAND. NO HE'S NOT. AND IT’S A GOOD THING TOO, THE REASON 1 WAS HOPING: WE'D ALL BE HERE EARLY WAS SO WE COULD GO OVER THIS L/ST 1 CAME UP WITH LAST NIGHT. THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I’D LIKE TO DISC, BRIAN'S RIGHT, WERE KICKIN’ ASS! {DON'T SEE HOW WINNING ‘CAN BE CONSIDERED A MISTAKE! / bar ar oar are EXAMPLE. HOW "BOUT THE ROYAL RECEPTION EMPEROR MURDIA GAVE US? NOW, THAT CERTAINLY COULD HAVE BEEN HANDLED BETTER, 1 COMPILED A LIST OF AREAS WHERE WE CAN /MPROVE (OUR GANE. WE WERE NEARLY KNOCKED OUT OF THE RUNNING YESTERDAY. PERHAPS IF NE REVIEWED OUR ‘MISTAKES WE COULD AVOID ANY REPEATS. IMPROVE OUR GAME? BUT WE'RE WINNING! Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * November, 1999. 11 YOU TALKING ABOUT WHEN EL RAVAGER SAD, *BITE ME!" TO ‘THE MINISTER OF THE COURT WHEN HE ASKED HIM TO CHECK HIS ‘SWORD WIM THE STEWARD? U..£R..NO, ACTUALLY 1 FORGOT ABOUT THAT. T WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED SUIT WITH A ROUND. HOUSE GROIN KICK * iF 1 HADN'T CAUGHT MY SPUR ON THAT TAPESTRY, TWAS REFERRING TO, UMMM, HOW DID YOU PUT ITP ‘PIMP SLAPPING’ THE LIGHER FOR NOT ANNOLINCING YOU AS "TE BAD ASS ‘BOWS-BEFORE-NO-MAN’ El RAVAGER!”. HEY T TIPPED THE BASTARD AN EXTRA FIVE COPPER PIECES TO MAKE TWAT ANNOUNCEMENT, ME ST/FFED ME!/ T/M TELLIN’ YA, IF A ZERO-LEVEL PIECE OF NPC-TRASH EVER SAID, “FAT CHANCE!” TO ME ~ THERE'D BE HELL TO PAY. I.THINK I KNOW WHERE SARA'S: COMING FROM, YOLI PULLED SOME REAL BONERS YESTERDAY, LIKE THAT LIMTLE TEMPER TANTRUM YOU UNLEASHED ON PIER 26, I MEAN, ‘DAMN’! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 1 KNOW, T KNOW. T SCREWED UP ROYALLY? T APOLOGIZE BLT NITRO WAS REALLY HAMMERING ON NE. SPEAKING OF NITRO DID YOU See THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN KNUCKLES DROPPED KYRA-MYTE THE SUN- WYRM BEFORE HE COULD EVEN FINISH READING THE FLAVOR TEXT? THAT WAS AWESOME! HOW LONG YOU BEEN HAULING THE RANDOM ENCOUNTER TABLES AS A THIRD-RATE HAVING THE Rav’S: KID SISTER POP UP ON WATERFRONT WHORE HIT ME PRETTY HARD. BOB MAY BE “THE MAN" BUT HE MADE SOME MAJOR MISTAKES AS WELL. FOR INSTANCE, "FONDLING" THE GEMSTONES (ON THE EMPEROR'S CROWN! THAT RESULTED IN THE LOSS: OF SOME MAJOR PLOT-ADHERENCE POINTS. / NOT TO MENTION A NET TOTAL OF 137 POINTS IN DAMAGE TO THE PARTY, OF COURSE HE GOT'TO YOU, HE WAS PURPOSELY TRYING TO RATTLE YOUR CAGE. YOU CAN'T LET THE GM AFFECT YouR GAME LIKE THAT. i BESIDES, 1 WARNED YOU ABOLIT FILLING IN THOSE CHARACTER SIBLING BOXES ON YOUR CHARACTER SHEET. STUPID STUNTS LIKE THAT UST SCREAM OUITFOR A GMTO SCREW YOU, ‘YEAH, YER RIGHT. I ALMOST COST US THE GAME. I’M SORRY. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? MAJOR MISTAKE? ? THAT WAS A VALID ACTION? I GET A +10 BONUS ON MY GEMSTONE APPRAISAL ROLL IF I PHYSICALLY TOUCH THE STONES BEING APPRAISED, THe BOB, WHEN W/TRO ASKED IF YOU WERE, “ABGOLLTELY, POSITIVELY, SURE” YOU WANTED TO DO “SOMETHING SO BLATANTLY STUPIO/* ~ YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT AS A BIG CLUE THAT IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO 90, HMMMRRREFF/ THERE WAS SOME DEFINITE GM BIAS AT WORK THERE, NITRO SCREWED US OVER, THEY NEVER SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM HIS CREDENTIALS BACK, * WHY YOU GOTTA ANALYZE EVERYTHING? IT RUINS ALL THE FUN, NO, BRIAN. IT’S TOO EASY BLAMING IT ALL ON GAMEMASTER. TO REAM US ON TOURNAMENT POINTS. FOR EXAMPLE, HOW ABOUT THAT SHOCKING GRASP SPELL YOU CAST ON THE MA/TRE D'S TIP TRAY? 2. NITRO HAD EVERY RIGHT \ ‘OH, OKAY, SINCE WE'RE THROWING STONES, MISS WISCONSIN, LET ME TOSS A FEIN BACK AT YA. YOU NEED TO PAY. MORE ATTENTION, T USED SEVERAL PLAYER ADVANTAGE CODES DURING THAT LAST GAME ‘AND YOU DIDN'T PICK UP ON THEM - YOU LEFT ME HANGING, YOU KNOW HOW T FEEL ABOUT THOSE CODES. T REFUSE TO USE THEM OR TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM WHEN USED BY OTHERS, WELL BECAUSE OF YOU MY CHARACTER GOT CALIGHT WITH HIS PANTS DOWN ‘AND TOOK A BEATING? I COUNTED (ON YOU FOR A DIVERSION NO, 8B, YOU GOT CAUGHT WITH A ROYAL PLACE SETTING IN YOUR PANTS, YOU CAN'T BLAME ME FOR THAT, SHE JUST DOESN'T GET IT// THAT CUTLERY WOULD HAVE BEEN A SWEET MATCH FoR THOSE GOBLETS I SLIPPED INTO MY FANNY PACK OF HOLDING. HAVING A COMPLETE SET UPS THE RESALE VALUE BY 201. IT’S NOT LIKE EVERYONE WOULDN'T HAVE BENEFITED FROM THE EPS GAINED FROM THAT LIPTLE TRANSACTION. NOT TO MENTION ‘TE GOLD FOR SELLING IT. RIGHT? LOOK GUYS, I DIDN'T WANT TO START A B/G ARGUMENT. T JUST THINK THERE’S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT. YEAH WELL THERE'S ROOM FOR MY FOOT UP YOUR HINEY fF YOU DON’T QUIT ROCKIN’ THE BOAT, MISSY! I CAME HERE TO GAME, NOT TO BE LECTURED BY JUDGE JUDY! Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * November, 1999 1M SURE YOU MEANT WELL $ARA BUT YOU DON'T GO CHANGIN’ A WINNING FORMULA WE'RE DOOMED, 13 The Pep Talk BY JOLLY R BLACKBURN HEY GUYS/ I CAN ONLY STAY A MINUTE - I GOT A GAME TO RUN IN A FEW MOMENTS. 1 JUST WANTED TO COME OVER AND TELL YA HOW PROUD 1 AM OF MY BOYS, YOUNE COME A LONG WAY AND I THINK YOU HAVE A REAL FIGHTING CHANCE OF GOING THE WHOLE NINE YARDS AND TAKING THAT PURSES THANKS SIR/ 91D THEY TELL YOU WE TOOK THE KEEP IN I HAVE TO ADMIT - THE K/D DID ALRIGHT. SLAUGHTER HOUSE INDIGO IN JUST FOURTURNS FLAT? HE WAS THERE FOR ME WHEN A PAIR OF \ MUCK GOLEMS HAD MY BACK TO THE WALL. WE USED TEAMWORK! you tauguT us eat Gust we youTowo us, Yygepee | eRe, Hee? THAT WAS. ve Ne LO TIM GOING 10 BE BRUTALLY HONEST, GUYS. I/VE REALLY BEEN DISCOURAGED BY ALL THE IN-FIGHTING THESE PAST MANY MONTHS. IN FACT, I JUST RECENTLY HAD MADE A DECISION THAT OWE OF YOU WOULD HAVE TO GO - FOR THE SAKE OF GROUP COHESION AND UNYTY. 1’ NOT GOING TO SAY WHO BLT THAT'S THE PONT TO WHICH YOU HAD DRIVEN ME. BLIT...VOWP? I MUST SAY - YOU REALLY SEEMED TO TAKE MY LITTLE PEP TALK BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT TO HEART. YOU GUYS ARE ACTING AND WORKING AS A TEAM. IT REALLY, REALLY DOES MY HEART GOOD. T THINK THIS LITTLE TOURNAMENT HAS REALLY BROUGHT THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT Wind US ele. BUT US CLOSER TOGETHER. FORGED BY FIRE AS IT WERE. T THINK WE'VE FIMALLY ‘SEEN THE LIGHT. IT TAKES FIVE FINGERS TO MAKE A FIST SIR - YOU TAUGHT US THAT. A FEW MINUTES LATER... THAT'S REALLY ALL T CAME OVER FOR. TO SAY, “JOB WELL DONE!" AND TO THANKYOU FOR MAKING THIS TOURNAMENT $0 SPECIAL, GOOD LUCK GUYS! AFTER THIS IS ALL OVER WITH ti 7 DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT? HE HAD 7M TAKING YOU OUT FOR A FEW BREWSKIS/? ON ME/ Reece ie HE Gee tke NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL MOTIVATIONS? T KNOW A NICE LITTLE MICRO BREWERY DOWN W/TRO'S BEEN WANTING TO TAKE ON WOYT AN BRANSON WHERE YOU CAN... rie ca Me aie THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GRAND IDEA, SIR. WITH 500 BUCKS IN 1 ue Hope We DOn'T COURSE You'LL OUR POCKETS WE'LL HIM DOWN/ BE DRINKIN ‘eecemeare \ CELEBRATE LIKE We RooT BEER, NEWT! «| ie vicroryr \ ROLLED AN 18/99, LET IM DOWN? You a/ KIDDING? WE GoT THE ee \EYE OF THE TIGER’! The pine Master by OLLye aLACEURN MAYBE ONE OF US SHOULD GO UP AND CHECK THE T SURE HOPE HE HAS US BOARD TO MAKE SURE THEY DION'T RESCHEDULE BY MY WATCH I'S THREE INTRODUCE OUR CHARACTERS THE GAME, YOU KNOW HOW MECTIC THINGS ARE. MINUTES AFTER THE TO HIM. 1’M JUST BUSTIN’ THEY MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN TO LET US KNOW. HOUR. GARY'S LATE. TO TELL HM ABOUT THAT | IBBERING-GOBLIN NO WAY? DIDN'T YOU HEAR T TOOK DOWN LAST SUMMER Wain ibenes To ne DoeM WITH MY BARE HANDS, TROOPERS * ON DAY ONEP THE GAME MASTER WAS THIRTY. MINUTES LATE SO GROVER LEAVES ‘THE TABLE TO SEEK OUT PETE TO SEE WHAT THE DEAL IS. MEANWHILE, EARL SLACKMOZER SHOWS UP AND PICKS UP THE DICE. SINCE THE ENTIRE GROUP WASN'T SEATED HE DECLARED A FORFE/T/ 1 STILL SAY EARL PURPOSELY SET THEM UP FOR A FALL. EXACTLY! WHICH |S WHY NO ONE LEAVES THIS TABLE. WITH B/G BUCKS AT STAKE YOU GOT TO COVER YOUR ASS AT ALL TIMES! GROVER REALLY TOOK IT HARD TOO, EARL |S SUCH 1. HAD TO GO OUT TO MY CAR TO GET A WAX "A JERK/ PENCIL TO TOUCH UP MY DICE AND SAW HIM CROUCHED DOWN BEHIND A DUMPSTER Hi EVERYONE'S CALLING HIM ‘EARL THE SQUIRREL’ NOW. CRYIN’ HIS EYES OUT LIKE A BABY, HEY GUYS/ EVERBLIDDY WEADY 10 PLAY? OOOOH, HERE COMES SOMEBODY DOWN THE STAIRS. I THINK YOU'RE LOST JUNIORY AIN'T NO GANES OF POKER'MAN GOIN’ ON DOWN HERE. THIS IS WHERE THE 'B/G BOYS’ PLAY. YEAH, MAYBE IT’S. WHAT A CUTIE? HE anne UH? DAMN Ir" MUST BE LOOKING DIS IS TABLE FOUR AIN'T ITP 2, Sone SHUeD Ke. FOR THE RESTROOM. HACKMASTER FINALS? SCRAMI! MOVE IT, KID! WE'RE WAITIN’ FOR GARY JACKGON. THE NAME PROBABLY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU BUT HE’S A VERY IMPORTANT MAN, HE AIN'T GONNA COTTON TO SOME SNOT-NOSED ‘TYKE SITTIN’ IN HIS SEAT. HA HALT! HEY CHECK OUT DOOG/E HOWZER OVER HERE. HE WANTS TO RUN A GAME OF WACKMASTER FOR US. HAR HARIT! FRICKIN’ HILARIOUS HEH HEH WHAT RULES NO, NO, WAR HAR, HE'S WILL He USEP THE GOING 10 USE -6NORT- SEE-N-SAY THE GANDYLAND a zs MISTER, YOU DON'T x EDITION? ? -SNICKER- CROSSOVER ee usbeastao” puppy , COULDN'T MAKE IT, H DADoY? 1 Ber He USES A AWG OnBET QUICK’ SOMEBODY eer eee, POP-O-MATIC TO PRETER PUT SOME TRAINING: pourwis vice. aanarr \ R*eUieacanrem WHEELS ON THAT THIS 1S SOME KIND OF JOKE - RIGHT? NO WAY THEY SENT SOME X/D TO RUN A TOURNAMENT LEVEL GAME. WHO PUT YOU UP TO THIS? WAS IT PATTY GAUZWENLERP? ‘ARE YOU GUYS BELIEVIN’ THIS? THEY SENT A BOY DOVIN HERE TO 00 A MAN'S WORK? LET'S GO GET WEIRD PETE AND NO, MISTER. I AM YOUR GAMEMASTER. DEMAND A COMPETENT GM! MY NAME IS TIMMY. TIMMY JACKSON/ MAYBE WE SHOULD. NO CHANGE GM's? OFFENSE TO TIMMY, BUT WHOAH/ HOLD ON T REALLY DON'T LIKE THE Guys. LET'S. TusTosTanTIMMY? YOU MEAN AS IN TMMY ‘TABLE HAPPY" JACKSON?P MY DADDY SAYS YOU'RE NOT | TIMMY THE RULES| IDEA OF PLAYING UNDER CONSIDER SUPPOSED TO CALL ME THAT. MANGLER?? AN BIGHT YEAR OLD KIO. | SOMETHING HEY, THE B/G GUY'S RIGHT. THIS |S A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY. LOOK AT US NOWT/ WE'RE SITTIN’ AFREEBIE! ALL WE GOTTA DO |S SIT HERE AND EWDURE FOUR HOURS HERE WITH THAT PR/ZE MONEY SO OF THE KID’S CRAP AND WE MOVE A STEP CLOSER TO THAT PURGE// pace tee TOURNAMENT IS AL -SiGH- PLAYERS BENG PITTED AGAINST CaN you Bétieve oun “Sys Bek cCMeLISHMERTN, THE GM. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE LUCK? PROBABLY THE aye SM BEGINNING TO ENVY. BEEN SCREWED OVER BY SOME WORST THING THIS KID ri BLACK HANDS TOR DRAWING (GM WHO HAD SOME OLD GRUDGE WILL THROW AT US IS PAPA JO JO ZEKE AS THEIR GM. AGAINST US OR WHO WANTED TO ‘SMURF OR SOMETHING. SABOTAGE US 50 HIS GROUP ‘YOU'LL FEEL DIFFERENT WHEN COULD MOVE UP THE LADDER? > YOU'RE HOLDING THAT MONEY IN YOUR HANDS. But NOW THEY'VE SENT ‘A CHILD TO WITH Us. 16 Issue #37: 15 Ores on a Dead Dwarf’s Chest™ Simplify. Castom elasses. NPC generator. Eleven handbooks. Nine rulebooks. Player's Option® support. Déiigééns&Dragons: Core Rules 2.0 Expansion Less work. More play. ul MUNCHKIN'S GUIDE TO POWER GAMING Not On My Watch! BY JOLLY R. BLACKBURN OKAY, YOU MANAGE TO PRY THE LOCK OFF THE /RON GRATE. IT SCREECHES ON ITS HINGES AS IT SLOWLY SWINGS OPEN. YOU SEE A NARROW PASSAGEVIAY WITH A LOW CEILING SLOWLY ANGLING AWAY TOWARD THE RIGHT. THE WALLS OF THE CORRIDOR ARE SHROUDED IN A TYPE OF WANGING MOSS WHICH: nUHiE Ron 100k, I APOLOGIZE IF THIS COMES OFF SOUNDING A BIT RUDE, BUT I JUST HAVE TO ASK. WHAT'S WITH THE MERCEDES HUBCAP AROUND YOUR NECK, NEWT? MERCEDES?? | BELIEVE YOU NEED A UH, UH, uM - Wewrrr REFRESHER COURSE IN GERMANIC You knowl wwe oa ‘HANGING MOSS? ‘SAY THE WORDS!? 1963 VOLKSWAGEN MICRO-BUS!! AWH, C'MON STEVILI NOT HERE! NOT NOW! DON'T EMBARRASS NE LIKE THIS, "LAM THE KEEPER OF THE WUBCAP OF SHAME. WEAR TH'S TOKEN OF DEGRADATION BECAUSE MY...” WE'VE BEEN OVER IT A HUNDRED TIMES! IF SOMEONE ASKS - YOU SAY THE WORDS!’ PERIOD! LOUDER GOTH BOY! AND DON'T SAY IT BUT I THOUGHT WE'D COME TO SOME KIND OF 70 US SAY IT 10 YOuO!! UNDERSTANDING! 1 SAVED YOUR BUTT FROM THOSE GLAMOUR TROLLS - REMEMBER? DON’T THINK 1’M NOT GRATEFUL book, Guys? \ BUT ONE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO LLM SORRY IF DO WITH THE OTHER. YOU WEAR THE T CAUSED ANY... HUBCAP YOU SAY THE WORDS, AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STAND UP ND DO THE HAND GESTURES, “I AM THE KEEPER OF THE MUBCAP OF SHAME!/ 1 WEAR THIS TOKEN OF DEGRADATION BECAUSE MY ACTIONS BROUGHT DISGRACE AND DISHONOR TO MYSELF, THE BLACK HANDS GAMING SOCIETY AND TO THE GAMING COMMUNITY AT LARGE! BEHOLD MY SHAME!’ LOOK DOWN UPON ME/!” C'MON NEWT/ YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT? PROJECT YOURSELF/ I’M NOT FEBLING ANY REAL SENSE OF REMORSE// PUT YOURSELF INTO IT// 50 HE CAN SEE THE HUBCAPY ‘AT NM DANCE? | TURN A LITTLE MORE TOWARD JO vO HAR HARI! LOOK Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * November, 1999. 19 TOKEN OF DEGRADATION, EHP UH...YEAH, THAT'S NICE. GO AHEAD, NEWT! TELL HIM WHY YOU HAVE TO WEAR IT", GO AHEAD - TELL WIM \ OK..NO... THAT'S OKAY. TWAS JUBT CAN WE JUST curious asour THe Ger on win 17'S NO BIG DEAL HUBCAP, THAT'S ALL, THe GAME?P! "We Sx TIMES! \ C'MON NEWT! REMEMBER WHAT NITRO SAID ABOUT BRINGING /SSUES INTO THE GAME? I KNOW YOU'RE SORE ABOUT HAVING TO SAY THE WORDS AND ALL BUT YOU SHOULON’T TAKE IT OUT ON SK/DBLADNER THE... STAY OUT OF THIS BLUESHINE! OKAY, YOu INCIDENTALLY, DON'T EVEN THINK WANNA COP AN ABOUT ASKING TO USE MY WHET are nee STONE OF ENCHANTMENT AGAIN. oe _— ARMOR REPAIR KIT BACK! WHAT’D F.D0 To YouP NOW THEN, AS I WAS SAYING, YOU NOTICE THE WALLS OF THE PASSAGEWAY ARE COVERED WITH A KINO OF MANGING MOSS WHICH GLOWS WITH Al YOl OLD IT FOR A SECOND, MR. ZEKE! 1 GOT A LITTLE B/ZNUIS TO “TEND TO. WIND DRIFTER WANTS THE FRIENDSHIP RING BACK HE GAVE TO SK/DBLADNER THE ELDER. WHAT THE....2? BUT YOU GAVE ME THAT RING FOR CARRYING YOU OUT OF FREYTON’S PIT TO SAFETY WHEN YOU WERE DOWNED BY THOSE SKITHERING YITH-MONKEYS! NOW THEN, AS 1 WAS SAYING, YOU NOTICE THE WALLS OF THE PASSAGEWAY ARE COVERED WITH A KIND OF HANGING MOSS WHICH GLOWS WITH AN EERIE EFFERVESCENCE! WIND DRIETER HAS HOLISTIC PLANT IDENTIFICATION AS A SECONDARY SKibb, 90 T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS TYPE OF MOSS? YES INDEED. IT's MOSS! SHIMMER MOCE! HEY, DR. WEIL!! CAN WE FORGET TI ANY MEOCNAL = og we HAVE A (OR NUTRITIONAL DRAGON TO CATCH. EXCUSE ME BUT I DON'T THINK HE WOULD MAKE SPECIAL MENTION OF THE MOSS IF IT WASN'T /MPORTANT! THINK YOU CAN GIVE ME A FEW MOMENTS TO CHECK IT OUT? MUM? ?/P 1/M JUST TRYING TO POINT OUT THAT WE HAVE A TIME LIMIT OVER OUR HEADS. IF WE DON'T BAG THAT DRAGON WE DON’T GET M/SSION COMPLETION POINTS, SO BEFORE YOU START TALKING WITH THE CABBAGES AND COMMUNING WITH NATURE ‘YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THATS way You WHY YOU BRINGING UP THE ASK WHY? CABBAGE THING AGAIN? the hoax that he was ‘last’ in the steam tunnels bencath 20 SURE. AND MAYBE THAT SNUFF BOX WITH \COS WHILE YOU WERE CONVERSING WITH THE CABBAGES, PETE AND I WERE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES: WITH THE GLAMOUR TROLLS! WE ALMOST LOST THAT GAME. HEY, B.A. PLACED THAT RING OF TALK WITH PLANTS FOR A REASON YA KNOW. SH'YA RIGHT! YOU GNE B.A. ENTIRELY TOO MUCH CREDIT. IT WAS RANDOM DRESSING. I TOLD YOU THAT. THE NOSE SEEKER IN IT WAS RANDOM OH YEAH? WELL MAYBE DUNGEON DRESSING. BLT IT SURE TOOK WE SHOULD TAKE YOU YOUR ASS OUT OF THE GAME. ‘OUT OF THE GAME, + See KODT:35 A Mute Point [Newt sentenced to the wearing of the ‘Hubcap of Shame: for the second time for opting to bail out Crutch - leaving Stevil ro fond for himself in Holding was for staging alles. The firs sime Newt had to wear the I State which prompsed a search and reseue effort, Issue #37: 15 Ores on a Dead Dwarf’s Chest™ (OH, YOU'RE GONNA TAKE ME OUTTA THE GAME??// YOU ‘AND WHOSE ARMY MISTER E/GHT-STRENGTH??(! ieee eS TRACKING THE SLACK /RON DRAGON?? STAY OUT OF THIS JO JO/ WE'RE GOING TO HEY, COUNT ME IN/ 1 WOULDN’T SETTLE THIS RIGHT HERE - RIGHT NOW! MIND A PIECE OF THE ACTION. DON'T BLY A TICKET IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BULL MOP-HEAD/ \ T GUARAN-DAMN-TEE YOU IT’S AN °€” R/DE YOU CAN'T HANDLES LATER STILL... ofl AO OO OH YEAHPP/? WELL I SHRUG OFF a YOUR MACE ATTACK LIKE AN ICE CREAM HE’LL LET YOU KNOW WHAT THE RESULTS WERE. HEADACHE! 1 COME BACK AT YOU WITH MY MYPTOR'S PRONGED RING OF EYE GOUGING!

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