Chapter -11

Techniques of Personality Development

In todays world techniques play an important role in every field of

activities. They are the skillful and efficient ways of doing or achieving something.

When it applies to personality development, a person has to look into all possible

approaches and then choose one or more methods for the development of

personality. Some such methods have been discussed below:

11.1 Auto Suggestion Technique:

It is the process of programming the mind. All the human beings have

two minds- Conscious and sub-conscious. The conscious mind is governed by the

subconscious mind. It is a kind of gate keeper to the gate of subconscious mind.

When one wants to do something, the conscious mind consults the subconscious

mind. The subconscious mind approves the proposal if similar work has been done

in the past. Thus it has a relationship with the past. The personality of an individual

depends upon the state of subconscious mind, which can be given suggestions or

programmed. If the subconscious mind is given positive affirmations, these get

registered and remain inside all time and the subconscious mind guide the

conscious mind which in turn activates to do the work accordingly. Some of the

auto-suggestions which result into positivity and ultimately a pleasing personality

are as follows:

I am a capable person
I am a disciplined person
I have a great future
I will achieve great success
I will keep my body physically fit
I am an active person
 I will become a famous person
I will use my time usefully the whole day today
I am a fortunate person

Such kind of auto suggestions attracts the conditions and

circumstances according to the instructions given to the subconscious mind.

Napoleon Hill says Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can

achieve. Here, a word of caution is necessary. If the programming is of negativity,

then the results will be unpleasant, and a person will keep suffering with all kinds of

difficulties. Some of the negative thoughts or auto-suggestions are as follows:

I am useless
I am an unlucky person
I cannot understand much
I cannot work in these circumstances
I cannot do well
My job is very taxing
Life is very boring

Such thoughts even though un-knowingly entering in mind will get

registered by the subconscious mind and will attract conditions and circumstances

which will make things to happen as per the thoughts. Hence it is suggested that

the programming of the mind should always be done in positivity. It is also desirable

that a person who wants to shape a good personality should keep company of

positive persons, and make them friends.

Use of Law of Attraction:

Many people have heard about the Law of Attraction. It is the principle

of attracting things into reality using power of mind. The Law refers to the field of

psychology. It states that Like attracts Like. In order to understand this Law one

should know that this universe consists of energy field. In these field things of
similar vibration patterns attract each other. Everything whether of physical or

abstract form including human beings and their thoughts are in the form of energy.

Hence the similar energy fields attract each other. The laws of attraction works just

like the law of gravity in physics. Positive vibrations of one energy field get aligned

to the positive vibrations of other. Similarly negative vibrations get aligned with

other negative ones.

Most of the people are confused about this law due to the fact that

they know opposite poles of two magnets attract each other. They may say if like

attracts like, then north poles of two magnets should attract each other which is not

true. The truth is that they repel each other. This confusion is due to lack of proper

understanding. It is true that the same sides of two magnets repel each other and

the opposing sides attract. But if we look at the Figure 11.1, it is seen that in the

two magnets, like flow of magnetic energy is attracted by the like flow of it in other

magnet.

S--------------------------------N
S----------------------------------
N

Like flow attracts like flow

Figure -11.1

In both the magnets shown in figure the flow of energy is from south to North Pole.

Thus, viewing the whole picture, like is being attracted by like. There are many
schools of thought on how to benefit from the Law of Attraction (LOA). The following

is a very simple approach to make use of this law in three steps Desire, Visualise

and Emotionalise.

Desire: In order that LOA works powerfully, one should feel the desire for what one

wants to attract. The desire must be strong enough so that it becomes a burning

obsession and one lives with it day and night.

Visualise: Having strong desire, visualization that it has been already achieved,

and the things desired have been received, use of sensory perceptions to realize

that the desire has been fulfilled, and will continue to remain fulfilled in future as

well, should be made.

Emotionalise: While having the strong desire and clear visualization of things

already having received, one should call upon his emotions to become grateful for

fulfillment of the desires.

Incorporating the above three steps in mind and doing this everyday

for as long as possible, the results will follow. The practice should be done with

complete faith until the desires are realized. For quick results, more time need to be

invested every day. Since the entire process is mental, the success depends upon

then intensity of the thoughts created about each of the above steps. The law of

attraction works by the principle that whatever is thought in mind, will be projected

into the universe and the universe will cause those thoughts to attract the events

and situations to occur. In a way it is cause and effect rule.

 Whatever circumstances one is going to face ion future is the effect of

the cause i.e. thinking. Use of law of attraction is simple - we get what we wish,

think good and get good. If one thinks bad, he will get bad things.

Law of attraction has been proven as the key to personality

development. However, it works only when ones mind vibrations match with his

desire. For example, one may desire to become a pilot yet deep inside, is afraid of

aero plane crashes - this situation will create a tug of war inside the person and the

message which he is sending to universe becomes unclear so it will not be

answered. Therefore, the desires should be pure, realistic and achievable.

11.3 Change of Attitude:

The word attitude has originated from Latin words Opto and Acto which mean fitness

and pastures of body respectively. Therefore the word attitude used to be referred to the physical

orientation of body to a frame of reference. Now attitude is considered to be an expression of body and

mind reaction towards a person, place, thing, activity or event. It is a kind of mental state based on ones

values, emotions and tendency to act in a certain manner. William James has said The greatest

discovery my generation is that a human being can alter his life by changing his attitude . Since

attitude is a kind of response, this can be positive, negative or neutral. It consists of three components

Affective (emotional), Behavioural and Cognitive (Informational) also known as ABC of attitude where A

stands for affective, B for behavior and C for Cognition. Attitude is formed on the basis of mainly

following three factors.

Environment : Home environment, social environment, workplace environment

Education: Formal education, Informal education, Media education.
Experience: Child hood experience, Societal experience, Workplace experience.

These three factors create an impact on the personal factors including

values, emotions and perceptions. This impact can be positive, negative or neutral.
Thus the attitude is formed and a person is characterized by either positive or

negative or neutral attitude. The personality to a great extent depends upon

attitude. Hence, it can be nurtured by taking care of attitudinal changes.

As personality is the combination of qualities and characteristics within

in a person, attitude is the expression of an individuals positive or negative

response to outside. Therefore a good personality can be developed by changing

the attitude from negative to positive.

Table 11.1 shows the salient features of attitude and personality. It is

observed that while attitude keeps changing according to circumstances, the

personality remains fixed irrespective of changing circumstances. Yet, the impact of

change of attitude affects the development of personality.

Table 11.1

Salient Features of Attitude and Personality:

S.N.
Attitude Personality
1. Outcome based on genetic
Perception based on environment, history, values and
education and experience education
2.
Relatively lasting feelings, beliefs and Personal characteristics
behavior towards people. that lead to consistent
pattern of behavior.
3. Attitude depends on who you are Personality is who I am.

4. Keeps changing according to circumstances Constant irrespective of

changing circumstances.

5. It is the way of a person is

It is the way a person act towards others. looked at by others.
11.3.1

As stated earlier, attitude can be positive, negative or neutral

depending upon the perception of situation. In a society, people can be seen with

predominance of one or other type of attitude which is reflected in their behavior.

The table 11.2 shows the characteristics of negative and neutral attitude. It is

observed that while the positive attitude makes a pleasing personality, the negative

attitude makes repulsive personality. The neutral attitude makes unnoticeable, non-

significant personality. The table 11.3 shows the difference between persons of

positive and negative attitude. It is seen from the table that persons having positive

attitude become achievers in every endeavour and successful in life as against

those who possess negative attitude. The persons of negative attitude are usually

found to be frustrated, unwilling to take any responsibility and become criticizers.

They always remain unhappy.

Table 11.2
Characteristics of Positive, Negative and Neutral Attitude

S.N. Positive Negative Neutral

1 Produces quality in work. Deteriorates No change in
quality of work quality of work
2. Strengthens team work Weaken teamwork Keeps the status
quo
3. Solves the problem Creates the
problems Lingers the
4. Reduces stress problem
Increases stress
5. Makes a pleasant personality Maintains stress
Makes a repulsive
6. Improves mental capabilities personality Makes a non
Deteriorates impacting
 mental capabilities personality
No enhancement in
mental capabilities

Table 11.3

Difference between Persons of Positive and Negative Attitude:

S.N. Positive Negative

1. Has a programme of action Has a list of excuses

2. Is a part of solution Is a part of problem.

3. Shows that I can do for you. Shows that This is not my job.

States that The work is possible but

4. States that The work is difficult
but possible. difficult.

5. Accepts mistakes if done. Does not accept the mistakes if done.

6. Believes that something can be Believes that nothing can be done to

done to solve the problem. solve the problem.
7. Dreams achievement
Dreams failures
8. Becomes part of the team
Becomes critique of the team
9. Believes that everyone should
win Believes that somebody should loose.
10.
Argues politely for strong points Argues rudely for weak points
11.
 Compromises on small issues but Compromises on principles but sticks to
sticks on principle. small issues.
12.
Works for things to happen Waits for things to happen
13.
Looks forward for tomorrow Looks back for yesterday
14.
Gives commitment Gives promises.

From the above, it becomes very obvious that by changing to positive attitude, one

can develop his personality. The change of attitude is therefore an effective

technique of developing the personality.

11.3.2 Power of Positive Attitude:

Positive attitude is the powerhouse of life energy. Human life is

endowed with immense potential of creativity which can be harnessed by

developing the positive attitude. In order to develop a positive attitude one needs to

learn the basics of it. Daily positive affirmations help towards development of a

positive attitude. Winston Churchil has said Attitude is a little thing that makes

a big difference. Adoption of positive attitude as a way of life brings a qualitative

change in it and results into success in various endeavours. Positive attitude

manifests itself in optimism, constructive thinking and motivation for achieving

goals. It provides strength not to give up, but to face challenges in life.

Development of a positive attitude is a matter of choice. One can choose to think

that he wants to develop a positive attitude. Such a person will feel confident and

possess an amicable nature. A person with a positive attitude is always happy,

confident and optimistic. Following are the example of some of the positive

thoughts which can develop positive attitude.

There is something good in every situation.

A problem is an opportunity to do something different.
Change is sign of growth.
A mistake is a valuable step.

11.4 Managing the Stress:

It is one of the techniques of developing the personality. A disease free

body and worry free mind makes an impressive personality. In the present days of

work pressure, anxieties, expectations and cut throat competitions the life has

become full of stress. The stress is unavoidable but if it is managed properly, one

can make his life calm and peaceful.

11.4.1 Definition of Stress:

The word stress is used in physiological behavior of human beings as

well as in mechanical behavior of materials. Related to humans, stress is the

physical and mental reaction to an outside stimuli. It can be negative or positive

condition of body and mind to respond to the stimuli or situation , which may result

in either facing the challenging situation or running away from it .Stress has been

defined in various ways by different scholars. One such definition is Stress is a

state of physiological and psychological imbalance resulting from the

disparity between situational demand and an individuals ability to meet

those demands. Dr. Hans Selye, one of the authorities on stress described stress

as The rate of all wear and tear caused by life. The stress management

society, UK defines stress as a situation where demands on a person exceed

that persons resources or ability to cope. These days very commonly it is

said I am under tension. Or He is in tension. The word tension is indicative of

stressful situation. The term stress originates from Latin Stringere which means To

draw tight. It has long been used in physics to refer to the internal forces in a

material body as a consequence of the external force applied on it, resulting in the

deformation of the material body, known as strain. We live in an era, full of stress. It

is one of the biggest issues which need to be addressed. Stress can cause physical

and mental disturbances which reduce physical well being and create mental

depression. Todays working environment is such that most of the people get

affected by the challenging situations making them to undergo the stress. It is

therefore necessary to learn the skills by which stress may be managed properly.

There are several ways, methods and mechanisms for managing

stress. In order to develop stress management skills, it is desirable to identify the

various factors causing stress.

11.4.2 Causes of Stress: Different things can cause stress to different people.

They may vary from physical to emotional depending on the situation. The source of

stress may be from workplace, society, environment, family and friends. The

following is the list of some of the causes that create stress:

I. Over ambition V. Poor employment opportunities

II. Excessive work pressure VI. High cost of living
III. Insecurity VII. Disturbed family life
IV. Change in environment VIII. Lack of social support
 IX. Interpersonal conflict XIV. Lack of civic amenities
X. Career concern XV. Life changes
XI. Organisational changes XVI. Technical changes
XII. Poor working conditions XVII. Frustration
XIII. Lack of participation in decision XVIII. Racial, cast and religious

making conflicts.

XIX. Researches have shown that some amount of stress for sometime increases

the self confidence and capacity to cope up the stressful situations. Broadly

speaking stress can be categorized in two ways:

XX. 11.4.3 Acute Stress:

XXI. This is short period stress and does not result in to any bad effect

either on body or mind. Sometimes it is also known as positive stress or

Eustress. In Greek prefix eu means good so literal meaning of eustress is

Good Stress. Occurrence of eustress provides a feeling of fulfillment and

good feelings, when a person achieves a goal which he considered quite

difficult but got it by putting extra efforts. Eustresses are present in every

work place and are the result of arousal which is important in bringing about

attention, feelings and analytical approach.

XXII. Psychologists Robert M.Yerkes and John Dodson in 1908 indicated that there

is an empirical relationship between arousal and performance. This is known

as Yerkes- Dodson Law and states that the performance increases with

physiological or mental arousal, but upto a certain level after which it

decreases. Yerkes and Dodson found that this is applicable to difficult tasks.

The law is stated graphically in the Figure-11.2. It is observed that for difficult

tasks the relationship between performance and arousal is bell shaped curve.

The performance increases gradually with increase of arousal till it reaches a

 maximum, after which it starts decreasing. For simple tasks, the performance

first increases rapidly with the increase of arousal and then remains constant.

XXIII. It is oftenly found that challenges and responsibilities provide a sense

of thrill and excitement which causes arousal. When a person works on a new

project or faces a competition it gives enthusiasm to succeed and win.

Eustress is developed in such conditions.

XXIV.
Simple
XXV. Strong tasks

XXVI.

XXVII.
Performance

XXVIII.

XXIX.

XXX. Difficulty
tasks
XXXI. Weak

XXXII.

XXXIII. Low Arousal

High

XXXIV. Yerkes-Dodson Law

XXXV. Figure 11.2

XXXVI.

XXXVII. 11.4.4 Chronic Stress:

XXXVIII. It is caused in the form of the response of the body and mind to the

work pressure for a long period of time during which an individual feels no

control over the situation. Chronic stress is also known as Distress. Under
 such condition, the human body releases corticosteroids hormones also

known as stress hormones to meet the situation. Long term exposure to the

working pressure creates a high level of these hormones that remains

constantly and raises the glucose level in the blood. Glucose being the main

energy source for human cells, the required amount of energy for meeting

the stressful situation is thus made available in the body. However,

continuation of such condition for long periods, the ardinal glands release

epinephrine hormones causing blood vessels to constrict and heart rate to

increase. Thus the state of hypertension with increased blood pressure is

created. The prolonged duration affects neuro system and causes impairment

in working memory. The chronic stress gives rise to anxiety, depression, lack

of sleep, body pain and cardiovascular diseases. Studies have shown that

there is a strong link between insomnia (absence of sleep) and chronic stress.

An American survey says that 40% of adult Americans lie awake at night

because of stress. Studies have also shown that when stress hormones are

too high, ones ability to learn and retain information gets disrupted.

XXXIX. 11.4.5 Comparison between Acute and Chronic Stress:

XL. The Table 11.4 shows a comparison between acute (eustress) and chronic
stress (Distress):

XLI. XLII. Acute Stress ( Eustress) XLIII. Chronic Stress

S.N. (Distress)
XLIV. LIII. Good and positive LXII. Bad and negative
1 LIV. Occurs for small period LXIII. Lasts for long
XLV. LV. Motivates and focuses energy period
2. LVI. Improves performance LXIV. Demotivates and
XLVI. LVII. Usually increases the willingness to drains energy
3. work more LXV. Reduces
XLVII. LVIII. Perceived within the coping abilities performance
4. LIX. LXVI. Reduces the
XLVIII. LX. Enables to feel pleasant efficiency of work
 5. LXI. No bad effects on body and mind LXVII. Perceived as
XLIX. outside the coping
6. abilities
L. LXVIII. It feels very
unpleasant
LI. LXIX. Leads to diseases of
7. body and mind
LII. LXX.
8.
LXXI. From the above it is seen that stress is both beneficial as well as

harmful. It helps a person when it occurs occasionally and intermittently, but

harms when persist for a long period. In todays world, the people are

constantly confronted with the challenges at the work place, society and even

at family front with greater possibility of development of stress on a

continuous basis. The level of stress developed may be allowed only to such

an extent that it enhances the performance. The Figure 11.3 shows the

relationship between performance and stress level.

LXXII. High (Curve to be

redrawn)

LXXIII.

LXXIV.
Performance

LXXV.

LXXVI. Eustress Distress

LXXVII. (Fatigue) (Exhaustion)

LXXVIII.

LXXIX.

LXXX. Low Calmne Burno

LXXXI. Low Stress Level High

LXXXII.

LXXXIII. Relationship between Performance and Stress Level

 LXXXIV. Figure 11.3

LXXXV. It is observed that the performance first increases with the level of

stress, reaches maximum and then falls down. The various states of mind and

body from the calmness to burnout occur from low level to high level of

stress. The term Burn-out refers to the condition of a person who has

become physically and emotionally completely tired after doing a difficult job

for a long period of time. The fatigue and exhaustion are the precursors of

burnout caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It reduces the efficiency,

creates, incapability, makes one helpless, hopeless and frustrated. It is

characterized by exhaustion all the time, feeling of sickness, disliking of life,

resentment in behavior and devoid of motivation. Therefore before burnout

occurs, one should be able to manage the stress.

LXXXVI. 11.4.6 Reactions to Stress:

LXXXVII. Depending upon the type of stress produced, the reactions on the body

and mind will occur. During the period of eustress the reactions will be

unfavorable to body and mind. It means that stress is experienced in the form

of reactions. Since stress is related to the functions of body and mind of an

individual, the reaction will be different on different persons. Psychologists

have found that there are broadly two types of reactions. These are

instinctive reactions or response to stress.

(i) Fight or Flight: Famous Psychologist Walter Cannon identified the Fight or Flight

response as early as in the year 1932. It is a natural short- term response which

occurs when one experiences a threat or shock out of a situation. The brain

releases stress hormones that prompt a person either to fight with the situation
 or fly away from it. Such experiences occur in day to day life in meeting short

deadlines, conflicts etc.

LXXXVIII. (ii) General Adaption Syndrome (GAS)-This term was given by the

Psychologist Hans Selye in 1950. It is a reaction or response to long term

exposure to stress. Selye found that people normally deal with stress in following

three phases-

Alarm Phase - Where one gets alarmed by the stressor

Resistance phase - where one adapts to and copes up with the stressor.

If, one cannot keep up the resistance continuously, the physical and mental

resources get depleted gradually.

Exhaustion phase - where one cannot function and gets exhausted.

LXXXIX. Both the reactions namely Fight or Flight and General Adaptation

System GAS can occur simultaneously. The exhaustion phase of GAS may

result from the accumulation of continuous Fight or Flight responses over a

long period of time.

XC. 11.4.7 Symptoms of Distress:

XCI. As stated earlier, the distress occurs due to prolonged work pressures

or worries that a person is subjected causing harmful effects on body and

mind. The following are some of the common symptoms which are seen in

such condition.

Constant exhaustion
Difficulty in concentrating
Incapability in achieving targets
Obsessive or compulsive behaviours
Feeling of isolation
Frequent headaches
Cold sweaty hands and feet
 Muscular pain
Frequent heartburn or nausea
Excessive sleeping or insomnia

XCII. The American Institute of Stress says It is hard to think of any

disease in which stress cannot play an aggravating role or any part

of the body that is not affected. The institute has published a list of 50

common symptoms of stress (ww.stress.org).

XCIII.

XCIV.

XCV. 11.4.8 Maintenance of Stress Diary:

XCVI. In order to manage the stress so that it does not become distress it is

advisable to maintain a diary for recording information and activities related

to stress for analysis and management. The stress diary helps one to

understand the following.

The cause of stress in detail.

The nature of stressors
The identification of tools that can be employed in coping the stress.
The methodologies to manage the stress.
The feedback and future strategy.

XCVII. The following template may be used for maintaining the stress diary:

XCVIII. DXCIX. Tim C. Inte CI. Dur CII. Circu CIII. Re CIV. Me
a e of nsit ati msta acti asu
y Day y of on nces on res
Stre of that ab ado
ss in str led out pte
the ess to the d
scal stres str to
e of s ess cop
 (1- e
5) wit
h
str
ess
CV. CIX. CX. CXI. CXII. CXIII. CXIV.
CVI.
CVII.
CVIII.
CXV.

CXVI. Maintaining the stress diary will enable a person to draw the stress

management plan that will enable oneself to take necessary steps to realize

that stress is a fact of life but it does not have to be a part of life. Thus

keeping a stress diary is an objective way to cope stress and set workable

stress management goals.

CXVII. First of all it is to be realized that not all stress is bad. In fact, it is due

to positive aspects of the stress that the best achievements are made in life.

For example, when a student is preparing for an examination or appearing for

a job interview, the performance depends largely on the level of stress which

has been developed at that point of time. High stress level may stop oneself

from performing the best. Complete absence of stress may bring laxity and

casualness in approach thus bringing down the performance. What is

required is right amount of adrenalin through the corresponding level of

stress which makes one realize that the occasion requires more amount of

exertion in order to make use of the opportunity into a success.

CXVIII. 11.4.9 Individual Strategies to cope with Stress:

CXIX. An individual in order to cope up with stress can adopt ones own

strategy. This may be by way of planning, implementing and analyzing the

 work functions, as well as by considering the body and mind functions. The

following are some of the suggested strategies that are focused on work,

emotions and physical fitness.

Work focused strategies

Time management
Team Management
Job Management
Process Management
Emotion focused strategies-
Positive attitude, having a sense of well being
Companionship, co-operation and empathy
Mind relaxation, meditation,
Prioritising human values
Physical focused strategies-
Exercising
Eating Nutritious food
Scientific breathing
Hygienic Living

CXX. Any sort of strategy adopted should be commensurate with the

surrounding and the self. It will differ from person to person. The ultimate

objective is to lead a healthy and happy life. The following parable will

enlighten the reader about management of stress.

CXXI. Parable:

CXXII. A trainer while teaching stress management to a class of audience

raised a glass of water from the table in the front. Everyone expected that

the trainer will ask whether the glass of water is half empty or half full?

Instead, they were asked the question How heavy is this glass of water? The

answers came about the weight ranging from 600 gms to 800 gms. The

trainer said the absolute weight does not matter, what is important is how

long the glass of water can be held. If it is held for a minute, it is now heavy. If

I told for a day, my arm will become numb and feel paralysed. In each case
 the weight of glass of water does not change, but the longer I hold it the

heavier it becomes. The trainer continued saying the stresses and worries in

life are like this glass of water. If one takes then for a while, nothing happens.

If taken for a long time, they begin to affect adversely and can cause serious

damage to the body system.

CXXIII. The moral of the story is that put your emotional burdens down to let go of

your stress.

CXXIV. 11.5 Goal Setting

CXXV. Goal setting is one of the techniques for personality development. It

involves the development of an action plan designed to guide a person. Goal

setting is the process of deciding what one wants to accomplish. It provides

direction to move. As the saying goes If you do not know where you are

going any road will take you there. Well defined goal can prove to be

the greatest motivation for action. The goal should be meaningful and

consistent with the values and life-skills. As the personality depends upon the

values and life-skills, the goals should clearly define the outcome of adopting

the values and practicing the life-skills. It is advisable that the goals should

be explicit and well structured. Hence they ought to be in the form of written

document. A goal should be SMART. For successful achievement it has to be:

CXXVI. Specific: Detailed and precise understanding of where one wants to go.

CXXVII. Measurable: One should be able to see step by step progress in quantifiable

terms.

CXXVIII. Attainable: The Goal should be within the capacity to achieve.

 CXXIX. Realistic: It should be possible to be achieved within the resources, ability

and challenge available.

CXXX. Time bound: It should be time bound.

CXXXI. The goal should be written in the positive instead of negative words.

The reason for writing the goal is to create a set of instructions for the

subconscious mind to carry out. The subconscious mind cannot differentiate

between right and wrong. It simply carries out the instructions. If the goal is

written in details this detailed information will be available to the

subconscious mind for clear outcomes. Goal should be set slightly higher than

the capacity. The goal should be reviewed frequently. One may be required to

revise a goal as per the circumstances. If it is required to change a goal, it

should not be considered to be failure. Goal setting is one of the most

powerful tool one can make use of for the development of personality.

CXXXII. Advantages of writing Goals:

Strengthens the will power to develop a healthy personality.

Helps to remain focused
Enhances awareness towards available opportunities
Provides consistent motivation
Enhances decision making ability
Helps to create the future one wants
Builds up the self confidence
Enables a person to lead a meaningful life as opposed to just managing it.

CXXXIII. Swami Vivekanand has said Arise, awake, stop not till goal is

achieved. For the development of an overall personality the goal setting

may be done in the prime areas of life namely Health, Education, Career,

Family and Spiritual.

CXXXIV. 11.6 Tips for Personality development:

CXXXV. Following are some of the tips one should always keep in mind while

working for development of personality.

Know Yourself: Aristotle has said Knowing your self is the beginning of

all wisdom. Before developing personality, one needs to know about himself,

by analyzing the thoughts, actions and habits, by measuring own strengths

and weakness.
Bring Positivity: Ones thoughts and actions both need to be positive in

order to have an attractive personality. The way one thinks has a lot of effect

on how he acts. Situations and circumstances in life can always be full of

highs and lows, but in order to adopt a positive outlook towards life, one

needs to look at the brighter side of everything. A person can alter his life by

altering thinking.
Have an Opinion: Having an opinion and being able to confidently put it

forward just makes ones conversation interesting. However, learning is

needed before making an opinion, so that it becomes appreciable. People

become more impressed by depth of conviction than the height of logic.

Meet new people: Meeting new and different kinds of people is a

healthy step towards broadening ones vision and enhancing the awareness.

By meeting the people one gets an opportunity to know more about other

cultures and life styles. When one seeks to discover the best in others, he

brings out the same in himself.

Develop Hobbies: A person without hobbies has very little to talk about. But

if one has developed hobbies for himself, he can attract and interact with

many people, by sharing information and knowledge.

Become a good listener: Listening is not same as hearing. Hearing refers

to the sounds that enter ones ears. Listening means hearing and paying
 attention to what is being told, how it is being told, what is the body language

of the person who is telling. Being a good listener is an important step

towards developing likable personality. For being a good listener, one needs

to have a receptive mind. It is said Great minds discuss ideas, average

mind discuss events and small minds discuss people.

Be Courteous: Courtesy is the showing of politeness in ones attitude and

behavior towards others. A courteous person is well appreciated and

respected by everyone. Being humble and extending greeting with a smile

makes an attractive personality. Help of others will come as a help for the

self.
Work on Body Language: Body language is a kind of non verbal

communication, where thought, intentions, or feelings are expressed by

physical behaviours such as facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye

movement, touch and use of space. A good body language is one of the most

important requisite for good personality. It tells a lot about oneself and

enables others to make a good conjecture about the person. The way in

which one sits, walks, talks or eats leave an impact in the people around.

Therefore one should improve his body language.

Check Attire: Attire means the clothing of a distinctive style for a

particular occasion. It is also known as outfit. Ones attire plays an important

role for making a desirable impression. An appropriate attire boosts

confidence by realization that oneself is looking good and dressed properly

for the occasion. Dressing in a decent manner does not mean wearing clothes

of flashy colours. Neat, clean, and ironed clothes make one presentable.
Be yourself: There is a saying that An original is always worth

more than a copy. Though one can always look upto other people to get

inspired, but he should not copy others and remain unique self because God
 has created every human being with uniqueness. Imitation may be

entertaining but originality is enliving. It is usual that what one sees in

others, is the same as he does not see in himself. For a distinguishable

personality, one should remain own self.

Be Confident: It is said that Confidence is silent, insecurities are

loud. Being confident about oneself is the most important tip for personality

development. One should never doubt own capabilities. If there is something

one needs to work upon, then all the efforts should be made so that the fear

is overcome and confidence is gained. Motivational thoughts can boost up not

only the confidence but self esteem as well. The confidence gets eroded

when jealousy begins.

CXXXVI. Twenty points for empowerment:

CXXXVII. The following 20 points will empower a person to develop his personality:

1. Have clear goals. 13.Acknowledge gratefully any

2. Have values clarification.
3. Acquire essential life skills. help received.
4. Be soft spoken. 14.Do not see intention behind
5. Do not complain about what
other mistakes.
cannot be changed. 15.Do not criticize others.
6. Stop procrastination. 16.Live in the present moment.
7. Concentrate on self 17.Help others.
18.Think and feel good about
improvement.
8. Do not try, do it. yourself.
9. Never give up. 19.Accept people and
10.Become free from envy and
circumstances as they are.
ego. 20.Keep smiling as much as
11.Be prepared to learn new
possible.
things.
12.Admit own weaknesses.
21.

22.
23.