Social Freedom: The price of Sexual Liberation and Gender Equality

- Precious Ohaegbulam

In major Nigerian cities, in the month of February, men and women live in a sort of romantic time
machine one that always revolutionizes a life or two. Only a few years ago did young people begin
to embrace the idea that love should be the primary reason for marriage. As such, it doesnt provide
an avenue for their families to help in selecting a spouse.

Today, love has revolutionized. But it still doesnt change anything. Men and women are still seen as
fundamentally different beings, sexually and otherwise. Enter the 21st century. Things are changing.
There is a breakdown of traditional gender roles, rising female independence, surplus birth control
measures, and limitless sexual freedom: the sexual revolution.

In Nigeria, everything likes to happen at once, as is often the case. These days, thanks to
urbanization, there is more opportunity for entertainment and more freedom. Social barriers are
weakening; the mingling of sexes is more permissible. Gender politics is entrenched and our women
are suddenly less dependent on men.

But dont be in a hurry. This might seem like a ride. I have found out that our notions of love and
longing -- of dating and romance -- are quickly changing. In the biggest cities, such as Lagos and
Abuja, more young people are starting to expect independence, especially when it comes to their
personal lives.

Their counterparts in smaller ones, such as Port Harcourt, are fast following suit. At the same time,
however, the age-old forces of society/community, religion, and family expectations are pushing
back. Many young people are thus squeezed between tradition and modernity.

Increasingly, as young people choose to live in such big cities, where they believe they will be free
from family regulations and pressure and get used to better infrastructure -- new road projects, new
shopping malls, etc; all they want to do is talk of tomorrow -- of new places, new lives, and new
plans.

But this is only the beginning. Economic problems further compound the situation. The Financial
Derivatives Company Limited (FDC), a Lagos-based financial advisory firm stated this in its 2014
outlook. Also, according to the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS), the rate of unemployment in
Nigeria stood at 23.9 per cent in 2011, while urban unemployment was estimated at 29.5 per cent in
2013.

Many unemployed young people delay their entry into the workforce by extending their years of
education, with some going for further education abroad, especially in the United Kingdom. And as a
result, most young people simply cannot afford to take financial control of their own lives -- which
means frustration and disappointment.
Recently, I met with some old friends and played catch up. One of us got around to the talk of young
people, the symbol of modern Nigeria, who wear the latest western fashion and watch TRACE TV
and American sitcoms - most of them currently pursuing university degrees, but all of them live with
their families. They all have dreams (at least a majority of them) but no definite and structured plans
for the future of their dreams.

Our young girls can wear high heels, go to malls and, like everyone else, dream about the future. But
many cannot realize those dreams because they are unable to take responsibility for their own lives.
In contrast, other young Nigerian women have taken their future into their own hands. But that is a
story for another day.

In a sense, though, this piece intends to show that Nigeria has changed -- at least a little. There are
more and more marriages, more and more divorce cases in our courts. Didnt someone say that
LOVE CONQUERS all things?

Like it or not, Nigeria is still at the beginning of a major social revolution. New ideas about love and
gender are born every day, but old ones are slow to die. We are experiencing an increasingly liberal
attitude towards sexuality. And social structures are changing as young people begin to prize
independence.

Liberation (sexual and otherwise) is head-spinning. But it also creates new tensions that we as a
society might not be prepared for or equipped to face. Still, despite the strains and broken hearts it
may induce in the new month ahead, the revolution could bring more equality between the genders
and increased personal freedom in the long run.