M E M O RAN D U M

TO: Riley Mosby

Student Writer, ENGW 105 018

THROUGH: Shayla Atkins, M.A.

Lecturer, Department of English

FROM: Jibri Muhammad

Student Reviewer, ENGW 105 018

DATE: March 28, 2017

SUBJECT: First Essay Reviewers Comments

I write to address your essay Pink that you submitted on March 27. There were few
areas where you could make improvements.

The first issue I noticed was the title of the essay. The title of the essay could have been
more interesting instead of just Pink. An effective way to come up with an attention grabbing
title is by presenting it as a question or a shocking statement. When you start with a captivating
title, the rest of your essay seems more appealing to the reader.

There were some areas where you could have used better word choice. I would suggest
going through the essay to make sure your sentences are clear and easy for the reader to
understand.
In addition, I noticed a run-on sentence. There was also a sentence that was very close to
being a run-on sentence. To prevent run-ons, insert periods, semicolons, or conjunctions along
with a comma.

Overall, this essay was well written and interesting. I was able to learn a little more about
your personality from the essay, which is important. I was also very fond of the way you ended
the essay with the reference to the color pink. Taking these comments into consideration could
make the essay even better.