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Monica Skipper

UWRT 1104

Dr. Miss

1/26/17

Rhetorical Analysis

The paper I am going to be analyzing is one that I wrote for the first semester about how

obesity affirms as a disease. I had to write it for my prospect for success class, but I could choose

any health hot topic as long as it could be researched. I chose obesity because it magnifies a

growing problem in society, especially in the US. Researching obesity in Western culture

provided me with more information that I did not know. Obesity demonstrates a hot topic

because our culture has recognized and seen the growing numbers of people becoming so

overweight and the increasing health problems that come with it. There are also many new health

articles and TV shows coming out with the risks and preventions of obesity because it alerts

society how rapidly the disease continues to grow.

I started off my first paragraph explaining and defining obesity. This allowed for the

person reading a better grasp on the topic of my paper. I stated that, Obesity entails of someone

who struggles with their weight and has a body mass index very high for their height (pg 1).

Then, I intentionally explained that obesity corresponds as a disease, no question about it

because in my paper I had to prove how it parallels with disease. My intended audience when I

began writing the paper encompassed mainly my professor; which I now perceive as a downfall

because it should be more than just an academic paper to please what my professor wants. I

would say that another part of my intended audience would be those who are struggling with the
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disease. Not only did I explain the meaning of obesity, but also the other types of health

problems that being extremely overweight can lead to, as well as ways to prevent the disease

from taking over a persons life.

Since I had to present an argumentative research paper, I used ethos in my paper to

persuade and give my knowledge on how I thought obesity demonstrates a disease compared to

others who did not. I proved my point by stating, Obesity demonstrates a disease because it can

be hereditary but it also can depend on your specific lifestyle (pg 2). In addition, I used pathos

to give a personal story about my grandmother who struggled with obesity to show how this

topic related to me. All my life my grandmother battled being obese and struggled with it every

day. She remained in a wheelchair because of it for as long as I can remember. Over the years,

her veins were beginning to clog and her organs were beginning to slow down due to

the numerous amounts of health problems she became diagnosed with because she became so

overweight. Eventually she ended up dying a few years ago, and ever since then I have seen how

a disease can just slowly grasp someone and lead them to death from so many different problems

occurring. I gave examples of my personal experience that I had seen firsthand, so I had a little

more emotion and more insight on the topic. By sharing this personal experience, it gives the

reader a more emotional connection and allows them to look at my argument from a different

point of view, rather than just stating facts. I also provided some research in the paper because I

had to back up my own personal knowledge. This would give proof and credibility to my topic.

More people will listen and look into something if health issues provide research and statistics. I

came across as more knowledgeable when I provided credible research and examples. My

intention as the speaker directed towards proving how obesity represents a disease and to teach

those who did not know much about it, more facts and ways in which it affects everyones lives.
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The paper provided a message that seemed very clear. A summary of the paper explains

that, Knowing about obesity, what it can lead to, and ways to prevent or treat the disease with a

better understanding, can really help benefit society (pg 1). The paper also explained many

other health problems that occur and develop when one becomes obese. This includes, Heart

disease, high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes, and cancer (pg 1). I also proposed further helpful

preventive actions one can take to help from developing the disease and learning how to get back

on track to live a healthier lifestyle for those who are obese. I described the many different

factors that apply to a person being so overweight such as, what they eat or how they exercise. I

gave a summary solution stating, If the community knows that exercise, heredity, and food

intake all affect obesity, people can see the outcome and effects that it may have on their body

(pg 2). My paper also provided many facts and statistics to prove how harmful the disease can

be and give credibility to those who question it. An example of my credibility includes a fact

stating, Obesity affects more than one-third of adults in the United States (qtd. Obesity

Information) (pg 2). I wanted to give facts that would stun a reader that way they could stay

interested and keep reading. For this reason, I demonstrated a lot of passion in the paper because

I wanted people to know the severity of the disease. Furthermore, I wanted people to understand

that it occurs all over the world and continues to grow as a problem. While some reading the

paper may be rethinking their lifestyle choices and taking it seriously, those who are suffering

from the disease can get a reality check.

I see this paper that I wrote and I as a writer think that I could have been more successful

at achieving my goal of a well written paper if I had taken the time to do so. I needed to really sit

down and revise my work because I saw many grammatical mistakes such as the passive voice

being used too much. As well as building my sentences and structuring them correctly with the
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subject and predicate, I could have made it sound more cohesive. I did notice how I could have

used more statistics to further prove my point and engage the reader more. I do not think of

myself as a great writer, I see myself more as an average writer whose main focus links to getting

the task done. I became aware when writing my paper that I stressed to get through it and get it

done. I have also realized that I write better when I am more passionate or knowledgeable on a

subject. Whenever I am able to choose the topic of my prompt, I sway more towards things that I

already know and topics that show who I am. For this paper I am analyzing, I chose obesity as a

disease because I already knew about the subject and I could relate to it, so I saw it as an easier

topic to write about. Obesity being a disease was a pretty important topic and I knew not many

others would choose it. My main reason for writing the paper suggests that it fit into the trending

health debate and I had personal ties to it which made it easier for me to write. When I began

writing my paper about how being obese attested a disease, I began by using a lot of my own

knowledge and personal story to write. I had to use credible facts from five different websites,

but when I included them it did not seem natural, it felt forced in to the paper. One thing I need

to improve with my writing includes, making things fit in a cohesive structure while still

adding my own spice to it. I did an exceptional job at identifying my audience and clearly

portraying my message. I achieved my goal at using some persuasive techniques and ethos to

describe obesity and how it actually represents a disease. I did use some mushfake in the

research paper to just write more and make it a little longer. All in all, my paper was a skeleton

that needed some meat. It portrayed as a nice start on to something that could have been better. I

included a lot of the right things such as a personal story, my intended audience, and persuasion;

but if I had included correct sentence structure and pulled in statistics appropriately, it would

have been a much more successful paper.

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Works Cited:
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American Heart Association (2014). Obesity Information.

Skipper, Monica. (2016). Is Obesity a Disease? Unpublished essay. UNC Charlotte.