DeLancey 1

Leah DeLancey

October 31, 2016

CAS137H

Paradigm Shift: Marriage Trends

Tie the NOT

The phrase Happily ever after seems to always pop up on a screen or be written in large

letters in a story book directly following the wedding ceremony of a beautiful couple with

smiling faces. Although it may go unnoticed, we often use this common phrase as a synonym

for, Happily married. In American culture, marriage has always been socially and

economically important. American laws not only recognize marriage, they control it.

Historically, the concept of two people joining in holy matrimony has been considered a critical

phenomenon to be handled with care. Ones wedding day is supposed to be the best day of their

lives; one they will never forget. However, there has been a huge shift in the sociology of

marriage as we used to know it. Fewer people are deciding to get married and for those that do,

the age that they are getting married is on the rise. Research suggests that this occurrence may

make for an unstable life for children, and create nationwide negative economic effects, while

simultaneously benefitting select individuals economically, and decreasing the general happiness

of the average American.

The rate of marriage has greatly plummeted, while the average age for those that do

marry has been on the rise. In 1960, the average age for men to marry was 22 and for women it

was 20. Today, the average marriage age is 27.1 for women and 29.1 for men (Nisen, 2013). The

amount of people getting married during their college years or soon after has declined greatly in
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the past 40 years (Bogle, 2011). The popular decision to get married later is paired with the

decision to not get married at all. According to the U.S. Wedding Forecast, in 2008 there was a

marriage rate of 7.09 per 1,000 people in America. This compares to a rate of 6.74 in 2015 with

the number expected to fall lower every year (Collins, 2015). These numbers are important to

know because they are extremely telling about the changing attitudes towards marriage. The

decline of marriage and the increase in marriage age show that getting married is no longer a

huge priority to the average individual. So, what led Americans to go from Ring by spring to

Maybe ring by 30?

One explanation for these marriage trends lies in the progression of the nation on the

issues of gender equality. Marriage has historically been seen as the only option for women to be

protected and cared for economically, socially, and physically. Prior to the 1960s, it was

unheard of for a woman to not want to be married. There was a great deal of social pressure,

specifically from the parents and family, on a woman to find a practical mate in order for her to

live a successful life (Bogle, 2011). However, By 1972, three times as many women were

attending college than there had been just twelve years earlier in 1960. (Bogle, 2011). More

women today are getting college level degrees than men.There are about 80 men for every 100

women currently in college (Bogle, 2011). This increase in accessibility of education for women,

results in a delay in marriage, as they no longer need a man with a career to support them.

Following a womans education, there are more job opportunities, and therefore more financial

security and less of a reason to get hitched. Nowadays, the women who do decide to get

married decide to do it later sometimes because they want to be in a position where they can

support themselves financially without another person. It is not a bad idea that they do this,
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because statistically, women who marry later in life actually end up making more money per

year than those who marry young (Barkhorn, 2013).

The Feminist Movement is often discussed along with the Sexual Revolution which

evolved sexual norms in America; this is another cultural phenomenon that may explain the

general change of attitude towards marriage. In the past, marriage was the only way that couples

could participate freely in sexual activities. The social stigma of premarital sex was a huge factor

in high marriage rates. Sex meant babies because of the limited birth control options. The Sexual

Revolution in the 1960s saw a turning point for norms surrounding sex, due to the emergence of

birth control methods that made it easier for men and women to participate in sexual activities

without having to be committed to one another. The birth control pill became well recognized

and widely popular in the 1960s and contributed greatly to lessening social stigmas of sex

outside of marriage (Nikolchev, 2010). The pill made it easier for couples to prevent unwanted

pregnancies, often delaying marriage or making marriage seem less vital to an individual/couple

who wanted to have sex. Around this same time, views on the acceptable behavior of a woman

began to change. The emergence of feminism made way for the belief that, women should be

free to be sexual both in and out of marriage and that not only "bad" girls like sex. (Bogle,

2011). This also contributed to the rise of premarital sex and the decline of marriage rates.

Hand in hand with liberalized sex norms, the acceptance of divorce in American culture

has paved the way for generations following welcomed divorce to be fearful of early marriage.

There are many theories to why divorce rate is currently at an all-time high; some include the

rise of cohabitation and the reduced social stigma to divorce itself. This shift in divorce culture

has instilled a cautious behavior in young people as they search for a spouse. Children of
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divorced parents, specifically, are careful when deciding on a partner because they are striving to

not be a part of the 40-50% of failed marriages (Utah State University) that their parents were a

part of. This reaction is valid, since marrying early is a well known factor that puts people at a

higher risk for divorce (Utah State University). This concern is also not a needless one, as

divorce rates are still climbing today. Nonetheless, these statistics do cause a shift in the general

attitude toward marriage. Partners are more cautious than ever to ensure that the one they bring

to the altar will not be signing divorce papers soon after.

The fearfulness of a failed marriage may be the result of a relatively new concept,

cohabitation, which is another reason that marriage trends have shifted. Cohabitation is the act

of two people living together and sharing an intimate relationship, typically in reference to

unmarried couples. (Bell, 2013). Cohabitation has put marriage further down on the average

Americans priority list. In 1995, roughly 48% of women aged 25 to 39 years had cohabited at

least once. In 2002, the percentage was 60% (Huang, 2011). In a cohabiting relationship, couples

share a life similar to marriage, without the legal commitment of it. According to Business

Insider, Many use it as a way to test whether they're compatible, while getting the benefits of

marriage (Nisen, 2013). For couples planning on marriage, this puts the wedding date on hold

because the marriage life is already being close to fulfilled. For many couples, marriage no

longer seems necessary when cohabiting is an idea that is now socially acceptable. This

newfound social acceptance of cohabitation makes this way of living a valid and attractive option

for a couple, usually surrounding financial motives, as it is cheaper to live with another person

than to live alone. Prior to the late 1980s, living with a partner before marriage was seen as
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promiscuous and unorthodox, but the phenomenon is now considered normal and more times

than not, goes unnoticed.

There are many factors that contribute to the current low marriage rate and high marriage

age, and there are also a number of effects that come from it. In the field of sociology, trends are

researched based off of statistics and studies of the average person. Cause and effect is hard to

determine through this method, but through studying correlations it can certainly aid researchers

in attempts to prevent negative outcomes. This is the case for analyzing marriage rate, as studies

can not do things like predict the future for a child of unmarried parents, but can try to explain

the known significance of cultural trends. This evidence also does not claim to say that every

child born to unmarried parents will turn out one way, it simply describes the average outcome

of the shift in marriage culture.

A number of current research shows that the shift of marriage from a necessity to an

option, has been a negative shift for society because it has increases the risk of instability for

children, has negative effects on the economy, and may decrease overall happiness. One

pessimistic Boston Globe columnist, Tom Keane, even wrote a column that warned,

"Millennials, reject timely marriage at your own riskNot getting married at all could prove

tragic. (Murphy).

Many researchers have documented that children have and will continue to be affected

negatively by the lessening interest in marriage. The trend of cohabiting in spite of marriage or in

order to delay marriage, leads to negative effects on children in the family for a number of

reasons. According to The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, children
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born outside of marriageincluding to cohabiting couplesare much more likely to experience

family instability, school failure, and emotional problems...children born to cohabiting couples

are three times more likely to see their parents break up, compared to children born to married

parents. (Hymowitz, 2013). There is a 13% chance that a couple whom is married when their

first child is born will separate within the first five years of the childs life. This chance is raised

to 39% when the couple is just cohabiting (Barkhorn, 2013). The concept of marriage protects

couples under the law, and more importantly it provides a similar definition of the couples

relationship, not only for the couple itself but also for their child. Because of the range of

interpretation that often comes from cohabiting or having a child out of wedlock, a child that is

involved is more likely to experience instability or be around it. Sociologists have known for

decades that the children tend to do best in stable households, where they know what to expect

and feel...Undergoing repeated transitions can cause stress by threatening this feeling and

undermining kids and their parents sense of control over their lives, which then tends to worsen

parenting and to lower childrens academic achievement and mental health. (Sutherland, 2014)..

Marriage is a social construct that has served the purpose of creating a stable environment for

children, in which they can be safe and comfortable. The depletion of marriage may threaten the

stability of our childrens lives.

Most researchers agree that the decrease of marriage interest is poor for the economy, as

well as our children. There are more women today who have children while unmarried than there

has been in the past. Because of this emergence, about 40% of babies born are born to unmarried

moms (Marcotte, 2015). This causes alarm in sociologists because families arranged in this way

are more likely to live in poverty than a two- parent family (Marcotte, 2015). It is also alarming,
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as big purchases that shape the economy, such as buying houses,cars, property, etc. are being less

consumed as a result of people staying single (LearnVest, 2011). That decrease in consumerism

is bad news for the economy, since money is flowing at a lower rate in copious amounts.

Lastly, another negative effect of the maybe later or not at all attitude toward marriage

is a reported general decrease of happiness in Americans lives. According to UVA psychology

professor, Robert Emery, ...a particularly happy marriage is associated with all sorts of

psychological benefits: you are less depressed, less anxious, less likely to be in trouble with the

law, less likely to be engaged in drinking or drug use and you live longer...Were finding

evidence that marriage is both a cause and an effect of happiness (Gabel, 2016). The lowered

rate of marriage is a significant cultural phenomenon because it may continue to lead individuals

to live less happy and less satisfying lives.

Despite the negative effects of current marriage norms, the economy of the nation has

seen some positive economic outcomes following the decline in marriage. It is believed that

those couples who wait for marriage longer tend to have more maturity and financial security.

(Hayes, 2016). Specifically, women benefit financially from waiting on marriage. Women with

college degrees in their mid-thirties get an annual income premium of $18,152 (Hymowitz,

2013). This is because their careers are established and their finances are secure previous to tying

the knot. As previously discussed, the need for codependence is lessened when a woman is

financially secure, and reversely her not marrying and not having children by herself can give her

a better opportunity for financial security.

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The nations view and attitude of marriage has drastically been changed due to increased

focus on financial stability, progression in marriage equality, divorce culture, and the Sexual

Revolution. These factors combined led to a general disinterest of marriage- either shown by the

increased rate of those not getting married or by the increased age that people are getting married

for the first time. Both of these statistics show that marriage is not the highest thing on the

average Americans priority list anymore. What does this mean? It means that women with

college degrees are often better off financially and people are being more careful about who they

choose for a spouse. However, the drawbacks include a suffering economy, unhappy adults and

perhaps even, poorly cared for children. It is also important to note that marriage is a socially

constructed idea and that concept is well portrayed by the changing attitudes of marriage and

even the changing definitions of marriage itself through time and place. There is not one way to

live that is better than another way. However, it is important to analyze trends and findings so

that we are aware of our shifting cultural norms in order to prevent the negative and positive

consequences that may arise from them.

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