01/03/2017 WhattheTortoiseSaidtoAchilles

WhattheTortoiseSaidtoAchilles
LewisCarroll

ReprintedfromLewisCarroll,"WhattheTortoiseSaidtoAchilles,"Mind4,
No.14(April1895):278280.

AchilleshadovertakentheTortoise,andhadseatedhimselfcomfortably
onitsback.

"Soyou'vegottotheendofourracecourse?"saidtheTortoise."Even
thoughitdoesconsistofaninfiniteseriesofdistances?Ithoughtsome
wiseacreorotherhadprovedthatthethingcouldn'tbedone?"

"Itcanbedone,"saidAchilles."Ithasbeendone!Solviturambulando.
Youseethedistanceswereconstantlydiminishingandso"

"Butiftheyhadbeenconstantlyincreasing?"theTortoiseinterrupted
"Howthen?"

"ThenIshouldn'tbehere,"Achillesmodestlyreplied"andyouwould
havegotseveraltimesroundtheworld,bythistime!"

"Youflattermeflatten,Imean"saidtheTortoise"foryouareaheavy
weight,andnomistake!Wellnow,wouldyouliketohearofarace
course,thatmostpeoplefancytheycangettotheendofintwoorthree
steps,whileitreallyconsistsofaninfinitenumberofdistances,eachone
longerthanthepreviousone?"

"Verymuchindeed!"saidtheGrecianwarrior,ashedrewfromhis
helmet(fewGrecianwarriorspossessedpocketsinthosedays)an
enormousnotebookandapencil."Proceed!Andspeakslowly,please!
Shorthandisn'tinventedyet!"

"ThatbeautifulFirstPropositionofEuclid!"theTortoisemurmured
dreamily."YouadmireEuclid?"

"Passionately!Sofar,atleast,asonecanadmireatreatisethatwon'the
publishedforsomecenturiestocome!"

"Well,now,let'stakealittlebitoftheargumentinthatFirstProposition
justtwosteps,andtheconclusiondrawnfromthem.Kindlyenterthem
inyournotebook.Andinordertorefertothemconveniently,let'scall
themA,B,andZ:

(A)Thingsthatareequaltothesameareequaltoeachother.

(B)ThetwosidesofthisTrianglearethingsthatareequaltothesame.

(Z)ThetwosidesofthisTriangleareequaltoeachother.

ReadersofEuclidwillgrant,Isuppose,thatZfollowslogicallyfromA
andB,sothatanyonewhoacceptsAandBastrue,mustacceptZas
true?"
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"Undoubtedly!TheyoungestchildinaHighSchoolassoonasHigh
Schoolsareinvented,whichwillnotbetillsometwothousandyearslater
willgrantthat."

"AndifsomereaderhadnotyetacceptedAandBastrue,hemightstill
acceptthesequenceasavalidone,Isuppose?"

"Nodoubtsuchareadermightexist.Hemightsay'Iacceptastruethe
HypotheticalPropositionthat,ifAandBbetrue,Zmustbetruebut,I
don'tacceptAandBastrue.'Suchareaderwoulddowiselyin
abandoningEuclid,andtakingtofootball."

"Andmighttherenotalsohesomereaderwhowouldsay'IacceptAand
Bastrue,butIdon'taccepttheHypothetical'?"

"Certainlytheremight.He,also,hadbettertaketofootball."

"Andneitherofthesereaders,"theTortoisecontinued,"isasyetunder
anylogicalnecessitytoacceptZastrue?"

"Quiteso,"Achillesassented.

"Well,now,Iwantyoutoconsidermeasareaderofthesecondkind,and
toforceme,logically,toacceptZastrue."

"Atortoiseplayingfootballwouldbe"Achilleswasbeginning

"ananomaly,ofcourse,"theTortoisehastilyinterrupted."Don't
wanderfromthepoint.Let'shaveZfirst,andfootballafterwards!"

"I'mtoforceyoutoacceptZ,amI?"Achillessaidmusingly."Andyour
presentpositionisthatyouacceptAandB,butyoudon'tacceptthe
Hypothetical"

"Let'scallitC,"saidtheTortoise.

"butyoudon'taccept

(C)IfAandBaretrue,Zmustbetrue."

"Thatismypresentposition,"saidtheTortoise.

"ThenImustaskyoutoacceptC."

"I'lldoso,"saidtheTortoise,"assoonasyou'veentereditinthatnote
bookofyours.Whatelsehaveyougotinit?"

"Onlyafewmemoranda,"saidAchilles,nervouslyflutteringtheleaves:
"afewmemorandaofofthebattlesinwhichIhavedistinguished
myself!"

"Plentyofblankleaves,Isee!"theTortoisecheerilyremarked."Weshall
needthemall!"(Achillesshuddered.)"NowwriteasIdictate:

(A)Thingsthatarcequaltothesameareequaltoeachother.

(B)ThetwosidesofthisTrianglearethingsthatareequaltothesame.

(C)IfAandBaretrue,Zmustbetrue.

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(Z)ThetwosidesofthisTriangleareequaltoeachother."

"YoushouldcallitD,notZ,"saidAchilles."Itcomesnexttotheother
three.IfyouacceptAandBandC,youmustacceptZ."

"AndwhymustI?"

"Becauseitfollowslogicallyfromthem.IfAandBandCaretrue,Z
mustbetrue.Youdon'tdisputethat,Iimagine?"

"IfAandBandCaretrue,Zmusthetrue,"theTortoisethoughtfully
repeated."That'sanotherHypothetical,isn'tit?And,ifIfailedtoseeits
truth,ImightacceptAandBandC',andstillnotacceptZ.mightn'tI?"

"Youmight,"thecandidheroadmitted"thoughsuchobtusenesswould
certainlybephenomenal.Still,theeventispossible.SoImustaskyouto
grantonemoreHypothetical."

"Verygood.I'mquitewillingtograntit,assoonasyou'vewrittenit
down.Wewillcallit

(D)IfAandBandCaretrue,Zmustbetrue.

"Haveyouenteredthatinyournotebook?"

"Ihave!"Achillesjoyfullyexclaimed,asheranthepencilintoitssheath.
"Andatlastwe'vegottotheendofthisidealracecourse!Nowthatyou
acceptAandBandCandD,ofcourseyouacceptZ."

"DoI?"saidtheTortoiseinnocently."Let'smakethatquiteclear.I
acceptAandBandCandD.SupposeIstillrefusedtoacceptZ?"

"ThenLogicwouldforceyoutodoit!"Achillestriumphantlyreplied.
"Logicwouldtellyou'Youcan'thelpyourself.Nowthatyou'veaccepted
AandBandCandD,youmustacceptZ!'Soyou'venochoice,yousee."

"WhateverLogicisgoodenoughtotellmeisworthwritingdown,"said
theTortoise."Soenteritinyourbook,please.Wewillcallit

(E)IfAandBandCandDaretrue,Zmustbetrue.UntilI'vegranted
that,ofcourseIneedn'tgrantZ.Soit'squiteanecessarystep,yousee?"

"Isee,"saidAchillesandtherewasatouchofsadnessinhistone.

Herenarrator,havingpressingbusinessattheBank,wasobligedtoleave
thehappypair,anddidnotagainpassthespotuntilsomemonths
afterwards.Whenhedidso,Achilleswasstillseatedonthebackofthe
muchenduringTortoise,andwaswritinginhisnotebook,which
appearedtobenearlyfull.TheTortoisewassaying,"Haveyougotthat
laststepwrittendown?UnlessI'velostcount,thatmakesathousandand
one.Thereareseveralmillionsmoretocome.Andwouldyoumind,asa
personalfavour,consideringwhatalotofinstructionthiscolloquyof
ourswillprovidefortheLogiciansoftheNineteenthCenturywould
youmindadoptingapunthatmycousintheMockTurtlewillthenmake,
andallowingyourselftoberenamedTaughtUs?"

"Asyouplease!"repliedthewearywarrior,inthehollowtonesof
despair,asheburiedhisfaceinhishands."Providedthatyou,foryour

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part,willadoptapuntheMockTurtlenevermade,andallowyourselfto
berenamedAKillEase!"

TranscribedintohypertextbyAndrewChrucky,July10,1997.

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