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Prompt:(0-7) 4
How well does the writing answer the assignment prompt?
Both yes and No. From your writing, I know the community you want to talk is the mainland
student in Hang Kong, but I dont know which part you are interested and you want to
research more to write your community essay.
Yes. From your writing, I see you get a lot of information from your interview.
No. Your profile just has a picture about your interviewee, I dont understand your
perspective. Maybe you should short paragraph talks about the basic information about your
interviewee and the idea or question you want to research more to write your community
essay.
Yes. I think your essay focus on the mainland student in Hang Kang community, but I dont
know want you want to represent by your community essay.
Research: (0-7) 4
Is information from research & interviews effectively integrated? Does research enhance the
individuals perspective of their community?
I think you interview is good and it gives you a lot of useful information, but I dont see you
use the secondary sources in your essay and I dont find the perspective in for essay.
Does primary and secondary research provide helpful information and unique insight into the
community?
I see you use a lot of information from the interview in your community essay, so I think the
primary research is really good, but I dont see you use secondary sources in your writing, so
maybe research more and use it in your writing.
Does the information enhance the writing?
I think the primary source you use is really helpful and enhance your writing, so maybe use
some secondary sources.
Context: (0-7) 3
Is there sufficient contextual information for this audience to understand the individuals
community?
I think it is good that you use a lot of information from the interview to make audience
understand more about the mainland student in Hang Kong community, may add some
secondary sources.
Not really. Your profile only has a picture about your interviewee and I cannot get any
information from your profile. Maybe add couple sentence below the pictures.
Does the writing provide helpful, relevant context for readers to understand this community?
Yes, you give a lot of information about the mainland student in Hang Kong community in
your writing.
Is there a unique, clear connection between the community essay and the profile?
No. Same reason from the above. I cannot get any information from the profile, just a picture.
Organization: (0-7) 3
Is information focused and organized?
Somewhere between. You provide a lot of information from the interview, but I dont
understand which part use want to talk mostly and whats perspective.
Are the community essay and profile focused and developed in a logical, purposeful, and
engaging way?
Again, I dont absorb information from your profile, add some words information. Also,
provide some information from the secondary sources.
I think your organization is good. But maybe talks more about things related in Hang Kong,
and shorten the information that related to Dalian.
Yes. Add some transition words or sentences to make the essay better.
Conventions: (0-7) 3
Do the profile and community essay follow genre conventions?
Not really. In your profile, you have good pictures which is figure information, maybe add
some word information. In your community essay, use the secondary sources, and provide a
Works Cited page.
Are the conventions (point of view, formality, and layout/design) consistent and appropriate
for the genre?
I think you need to represent your opinion and perspective more obvious, because I am not
really sure what is your opinion and perspective.
Your sentences are clear, but I am not sure about your perspective, maybe represent it more
clearly, also may attention to the MLA format such as page numbers.
Citations: (0-7) 0
Is all information accurately cited?
No, I dont see you have in-text citation and the Work Cited page in the end of your essay.
Are all in-text citations present and formatted in correct MLA format where needed?