causal argument

by Amy Ruiz

FILE 217SP-ENGL-1302-
01_58077924_1049986952_CAUSAL_ARGUMENT _.DOCX (111.46K)
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causal argument
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

79
PAGE 1
/100

QM WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

QM C/S
Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot
have more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that
occurs when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly
by a comma. T here are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the
comma with a stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a
coordinating conjunction ("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3) make one
of the two sentences a dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating
conjunction ("if ," "when," "so that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that," "which,"
"who," "whom," "whose").

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 1
atches
 QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 2
will

Comment 3
unnecessary

Comment 4
where is this source on your works cited page?

QM Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
dawn."

Comment 5
is af f ected

PAGE 2

Comment 6
too

QM C/S
Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot
have more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that
occurs when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly
by a comma. T here are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the
comma with a stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a
coordinating conjunction ("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3) make one
of the two sentences a dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating
conjunction ("if ," "when," "so that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that," "which,"
 "who," "whom," "whose").

QM Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
dawn."

Comment 7
this seems a bit of f topic since paragraph is about health

Comment 8
need another sentence to tie paragraph together

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 9
T he more technology a child uses, the less exercise they get.

Comment 10
unnecessary

Comment 11
this paragraph lacks concrete evidence and seems a bit scattered

Comment 12
but your topic sentence is about lack of exercise...
 Comment 13
I don't understand

Comment 14
but this was the earlier paragraph...

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

PAGE 3

Comment 15
need more in this paragraph

Comment 16
it is not easy

Comment 17
awkward sentence

Comment 18
this is part of your solution...

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.
 Comment 19
needs to be possessive

QM C/S
Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot
have more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that
occurs when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly
by a comma. T here are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the
comma with a stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a
coordinating conjunction ("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3) make one
of the two sentences a dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating
conjunction ("if ," "when," "so that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that," "which,"
"who," "whom," "whose").

Comment 20
encouraging

QM Cap. Error
Capitalization

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

PAGE 4

QM WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 21
Children can be risking their health and lacking communication skills

QM Awk.
 Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 22
a result

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

PAGE 5

Comment 23
where is this source in your essay?