p.

Extended Lesson Planning Format for Teacher Education Candidates

Ithaca College School of Humanities and Sciences

Name Dana Amrami

Lesson Title or Topic Sight, and Smell, and Taste, Oh My!

Grade Level 5

Course Name or Content ELA

Area

Central Focus

Describe the central focus for the content/skill you will teach. The central focus should
provide a short narrative summary of this lesson and/or learning segment.

The central focus is for students to use sensory details in their writing about real or imagined
events or experiences. Students will begin the lesson by writing about a scene from an
experience they have had, their experience in the morning before coming to school, or about
what they see in an image. The lesson will then focus on expanding on that writing, asking
students to incorporate sensory details to develop their stories.

Context

1. State the long-range learning goals for the learning segment to which this lesson
contributes. The long-range goals should deal with mastery of knowledge/skills that students
will be able to transfer to real-life situations.

2. Explain how this lesson builds upon lessons before it and how this lesson fits into the
overall learning segment/unit.

3. Describe the students for whom this lesson has been developed. Consider the personal,
cultural, and community assets of your students and how this lesson builds upon those
assets.

1. The long-range learning goals for the learning segment to which this lesson contributes is
for students to be able to develop their stories using descriptive details that show readers
what happened instead of telling readers what happened. These descriptive details will be
created using the five senses.

2. I have not been able to observe the ELA lessons often, but I have seen that students have
been working on writing narratives. Students have had a lesson on descriptive writing,
however the ELA teacher I worked with expressed that they could use more practice with it,
and that I can design my lesson around that. This lesson serves to remind students about the
impact sensory details can have on their writing, as a way to allow the reader to imagine
what happened in the story.

3. This lesson has been developed for students in a neighborhood school, surrounded by a
small city and rural areas. The students have diverse learning styles and needs, and this
lesson provides multiple ways to engage and reach the learning target. There will be multiple
 p. 2

opportunities for students to identify sensory details prior to having them write using sensory
details themselves. Students will have options when asked to write. They will be able to write
about a happy moment in their life that they can remember well, a moment in their morning
routine before coming to school, or if they do not want to write about their individual
experiences, they may write about what they see on postcards at their table.

Prior Knowledge

What knowledge, skills, and concepts must How will you know if your students have prior
students already know to be successful with knowledge, etc.? How/when will you teach/re-
this lesson? teach if necessary?

For this lesson, students must have an
understanding of what it means to write
about a small moment within a story.
Students must have prior knowledge about
the five senses in order to be successful
with this lesson.
Based on the work students have produced
that I have had a chance to read, it appears
that students have an understanding of how to
write a story. Some students struggle to write.
However, in this lesson, students will have an
opportunity to show their understandings of
using sensory details in multiple ways, many
of which will not require them to write in
length.

I will introduce the lesson by reading a

passage from my own journal about a small
moment that occurred in the morning. I will
use this as a model of what a rough draft of a
small moment might look like when writing
with sensory details. Based on my
conversations with the ELA teacher, students
have had experience writing with sensory
details in previous lessons, so this lesson will
not be entirely new for students. The ELA
teacher expressed that students have a
difficult time writing with detail, so this lesson
would be beneficial as it would revisit using
sensory details, which students have prior
knowledge in.

The lesson will review the five senses,

providing opportunities for students to identify
the five senses in their own writing and in Owl
Moon by Jane Yolen.

If it is necessary to teach/re-teach, I will work

with the students during independent work
time to clarify anything that needs to be
reviewed again. For example, if students
incorrectly identified sensory details during
the read aloud, I would work with those
 p. 3

students during independent work time. I

would show them a few examples of sensory
details in the book, explaining what makes
them sensory details and why they are useful
writing tools. I would then give those students
an opportunity to identify sensory details in
the book themselves (I would have multiple
copies of the book so students can look
through the pages themselves to find sensory
details). I will circulate around the room to see
how students are doing using sensory details
in their own writing. If I see students are
having difficulty with this, I will confer with
them, asking them if they can tell me about
the moment they are writing about, asking if
they can tell me about the characters/people
in their story, what they look like, where they
want the story to go, etc. If more time is
needed, I will work with students during skills
block.

State/National/Common Core Standards

List the number and full text of each standard that is addressed in this lesson.

Remember to include content and literacy standards, as appropriate to the lesson.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.5.3.D

Use concrete words and phrases and sensory details to convey experiences and events
precisely.

Objectives and Assessments

--Here list the short-range learning objectives specific to this particular lesson. These
objectives should be items that are immediately observable and easily assessed.

--In addition, you will identify how you will know if the learning objectives for this lesson have
been met. List the types of assessments you will use to determine whether the objectives
have been met. List the types of formative assessments you will use to monitor student
learning of your specific learning objectives for this lesson. What assessments will determine
proficiency, excellence, or failure to meet the learning objectives of this lesson?

--As you consider your assessments, you should think about the kind(s) of feedback your
students will receive from you related to your assessments and how you will expect them to
use this feedback.

- Formal assessments could include an exit ticket, a homework assignment, an in class

writing assignment, a project, or a quiz or a test you will give later, etc. Informal assessments
could include structured observation, thumbs up/thumbs down, think-pair-share,
 p. 4

whiteboards, etc.

Learning Objectives Formative Assessments Summative Assessments

The students will be able to
assessments will you use
(Learning outcomes to be
achieved by the end of this
lesson)
Every objective should
have an assessment.
Note: Use as many rows as
you have learning objectives.
You must have at least one
objective, but there is no
maximum number.
What formal and informal What evidence, by the end of
the learning segment/unit,
during this lesson to monitor will show that students
whether your students are understand and have met
developing the your learning objectives?
understanding/skills required
to meet the learning
objective you have
identified? If you are using
observation as a form of
assessment, write the
questions you will use as a
guide for your observations
of students during the
lesson.

Students will be able to Informal assessment: Students will expand upon

sensory details in their
writing to precisely depict
real or imagined events or
experiences.
Students will write down
words or phrases in their
reading journals that they
notice during the read aloud
of Owl Moon by Jane Yolen.
Students will share out their
noticings during turn-and-talk
and whole group discussion.
While students turn and
talk, I will walk around the
room and listen to students
conversations, in order to
assess whether students are
understanding what sensory
details are. I will have a
checklist so I can collect
information about whether
students are understanding
what sensory details are or
not. I will have a column on
the checklist to write
examples of what students
are identifying correctly or
incorrectly as sensory details.
the writing they started in
the beginning of the lesson.
Based on the senses they
identified in their writing,
students may decide to try
using senses that did not
appear as much in their
original writing. Students will
work to write about a small
moment using sensory
details. This writing will be
done on the opposite side of
the index card (unless
students express that they
need more room to write, in
which case they can write in
their writers journals), and
will be collected to assess if
students are using sensory
details.

Formal assessment:

Students will identify sensory

details in their own writing.
 p. 5

Students will underline

sensory details on the index
card that they used in their
writing during the first
activity, using different
colored pencils to represent
different senses. I will collect
students index cards at the
end of the lesson, in order to
see what students identified.

If, as a result of the assessments above, students have not met your learning
objectives for this lesson, what strategy/ies will you use to teach/re-teach?

If students are not using sensory details in their writing, I will confer with the students during
skills block time in order to discuss their story and ideas. I will ask students to tell me a little
bit about what inspired them to write their story, and if they can tell me about the moment in
their writing that they want to expand upon. Depending on what the students say, I may ask
them:

Can you tell me a little bit about the characters in your story?

What do they look like?

Can you tell me about what the character will be doing in the moment you are writing about?

Academic Language Demands

Language function Students will describe sensory details they find in Owl Moon
and describe a small moment in their own writing using
Choose a higher order sensory details.
language verb (e.g. analyze,
evaluate, explain, interpret,
describe, predict, argue, or
prove) that students must
know how to do in order to
succeed in this lesson. See
your edTPA handbook for
content specific language
function suggestions.

Vocabulary Skill

What skill vocabulary (e.g., Graphic organizer

Venn diagram, graphic
organizer, thesis statement,
symbols) and content
vocabulary (e.g., imperialism,
mitosis, isosceles) do students
need to know in order to
succeed in this lesson?
Content
Sensory details, the five senses-students should have
some familiarity with using the five senses as sensory
details in writing. They will have had experience learning
about sensory details in previous writing lessons.
 p. 6

Discourse Turn and Talks: students will discuss phrases or words

Discourse is a distinctive
communication structure
and/or style specific to your
discipline (e.g. lab reports,
literary analysis essays,
document-based arguments,
proofs, critiques, etc.) In what
discipline specific ways do
students need to
communicate in order to
succeed in this lesson?
they noticed in Owl Moon that use sensory details. Each
student will be required to share at least one phrase or
words that they identified with their partner, and explain
which one of the five senses the author is using. Students
will discuss with a peer the sensory details they used in
their own writing, and what sensory details they want to try
and use more. Students are required to share at least one
sensory detail they used, identifying which of the five
senses was used in that detail. Students will also explain to
their partner which sensory details they used most in their
writing, and identify at least one sensory detail they want to
try using more in their writing, and why.

Language supports

How will you help students understand the verbal and written language requirements to
succeed in this lesson? (These should also be included in your step-by-step procedures
below.) How will you help them use Academic Language during this lesson? (Include how
you will use students prior knowledge and your teaching in this lesson to facilitate and
deepen student learning.)

I will model what is expected from students for the lesson by reading a piece from my own
journal about a moment in my morning. There will also be a PowerPoint that shows students
what is expected from them for each task (during read aloud, independent work, etc.).
Students will have multiple opportunities to see and identify sensory details in a book and in
their own writing prior to completing the main activity for the lesson.

Advanced Preparation for the Lesson

1. What instructional resources/materials do you need to prepare in advance?

List here the resources you will use to engage your students and assess their learning in this
lesson.

Include handouts, slides, supplies, images, grouping plans, manipulatives, equipment,

rubrics, answer keys, or anything else that requires advance preparation. Written materials
should be attached to this plan.

2. What else do you need to do before the lesson starts in order to be ready?

List here reminders to yourself so that youre prepared when the students walk into the
room.

1. Owl Moon by Jane Yolen (have additional books so students can refer back to the text
during turn-and-talk), PowerPoint, colored pencils for each table, postcards for each
table, index cards, graphic organizer, figurative language bookmark
2. Make sure to write personal journal entry morning of lesson (or a day or two before
the lesson, describing morning) in order to have a recent event to share with students
 p. 7

(students may be able to relate to what teacher experienced if journal entry related to
the weather that morning, for example).

Lesson Procedures: Instructional Strategies/ Learning Tasks

Describe, in detail, the steps you will follow in this lesson, attending to both what you will be
doing and what the students will be doing.

Time Step-by-Step Procedures

Opening (Launch)

How will you begin your lesson in a way that motivates and engages students in learning this
lessons content? (Motivation for lessons should be interesting, age-level appropriate, brief,
and directly related to the learning objectives of the lesson.)

1. For the launch of the lesson, students will be sitting at their tables, as they will
be asked to write right after the launch activity. Begin the lesson by explaining to
students that you want to share an entry from your journal, about your morning. Ask
students to listen carefully for details about the weather, how I felt when I went
outside, and what it looked like outside in the morning. Read the entry aloud:

This morning, I opened my door, walked outside, and saw the untouched,
undisturbed white snow cloaking the grass like a blanket. A cold blanket. I
immediately noticed that I wasnt wearing the right shoes for this cold, winter day.
My green and red plaid, delicate boots scowled at me as they became covered in
dark, wet spots. The sparkling, white snow seeped through my boots, stinging my
toes like a swarm of bees. Even though my toes were cold, I knew the rest of me
would be okay. I was wearing my big, navy blue marshmallow coat. No cold air was
going to get through this coat. No cold could penetrate the fortress that was my
coat.

Have the journal entry typed onto a PowerPoint slide so students can see what you
wrote. Then, have a conversation with the students about the moment in the writing
piece. Ask students what type of moment was being described. Ask students if they
can identify the details I included in my entry. For each detail students identify,
name what type of sensory detail is being used in that moment. Explain to students
that todays lesson will focus on using sensory details in writing, and share the plan
for the lesson. (5 minutes)

Procedures

List the next steps of your lesson. Provide a detailed description of what teacher and
students will be doing. Your planned formative assessments and language supports from
above should show up in this section as part of your lesson procedures. Add rows below as
needed.

Write lesson plan procedures so that another teacher could pick up your plans and actually
accomplish your objectives for the lesson. The following procedural terms are too vague:
introduce, discuss, review. How will you introduce something new? How will you organize
discussion? How will you conduct a review? Include specific questions you will use.
 p. 8

2. Hand out an index card to each student. Ask students to close their eyes, and
picture a happy moment in their life that they can remember well, a moment in
their morning routine, or about what they see on the postcards at their tables. Then,
have students write about one of these options on the index card using sensory
details. Have students sit on the carpet, bringing their index cards, writers
notebooks and a pencil with them. Allow students to share what they have written,
if there is time.

3. Read aloud Owl Moon by Jane Yolen. Have students listen for and write down in
their writers notebooks phrases that draw on the senses of sight, smell, taste,
touch, and hearing. Explain to students that it is okay if they cannot write down the
exact phrase that caught their attention. This writing will just be a reminder for
them of the sentences they found, so we can refer back to them after reading the
book. Also explain that students may respond aloud to something that they notice,
something that stands out to them, or something they relate to. (13 minutes)

4. After finishing the book, ask students to find a partner to turn and talk with
about a phrase they found to have sensory details. Have one person from each pair
pick up a copy of the book so that they can refer back to the exact phrases or
sentences they identified. After this, have a whole group discussion about sentences
students chose, allowing students to explain why they chose that sentence. For
each student who raises their hand, turn to the page where the sentence they are
discussing appears, and read it aloud. Ask students what types of sensory detail(s)
are being used in that sentence. If applicable, introduce the terms metaphor and
simile. For example, if a student chooses to share the phrase the snow below it was
whiter than the milk in a cereal bowl, ask the student to explain why the sentence
is descriptive. Then, move the PowerPoint to the metaphor and simile slide, and
explain that the author is using a metaphor here, and define the term using the
definition on the slide. Explain to students that authors use this literary device when
they want to compare to things to each other, but dont want to use the words
like or as to compare them. Then, explain to students that when authors do
decide to use like or as to make a comparison between two things, the literary
device they are using is called a simile. Read the example of a simile that is
projected on the PowerPoint, and then ask students if they can find an example of a
simile in the book with their turn-and-talk partner. Explain to students that they will
receive a bookmark style reference list with the definitions of metaphor and simile,
so that they have them in case they want to use them in their own writing. (10
minutes)

5. Have students return to their tables and look at what they wrote on their index
cards in the beginning of the lesson. Ask students to underline examples of sensory
details in different colors (colors and senses they correspond to will be on the
PowerPoint). If students complete this quickly and other students are still working,
students have the option to also circle metaphors and draw a wavy line under
similes that they find in their writing. Have students turn and talk about the
sensory details they used in their writing, and which type of details they may want
to try using more of in their writing. (5 minutes)

6. For the main and final activity for the lesson, explain to students that they will be
expanding on what they wrote on their index cards, taking their ideas and
incorporating sensory details where appropriate in their writing. Hand out
 p. 9

bookmarks to students that list different types of figurative language that they can
use in their writing if interested in doing so. However explain that this is not
required for this activity. Provide a graphic organizer with the five senses listed for
students to fill out prior to writing. Explain that graphic organizers are a useful tool
writers use when they want to remember their ideas, organize their ideas, and
decide which ideas they want to include in their writing and which they do not. (25
minutes)

Closure

How will you bring this lesson to closure? How will students reflect on what they learned
today, and how will you prepare them for whats ahead?

X. Time permitting, students will be able to share what they have written with their
classmates. Talk to students about how as writers, they will be expected to continue
to use sensory details in their future writing. Remind them of how Owl Moon had
many examples of sensory details, and that helped precisely convey a moment in
the characters life. Talk about how using sensory details helps make a writing piece
change from a tell piece, where readers are told what happens usually without
much detail, to a show piece, where readers can imagine exactly how a story
unfolds because there are sensory details that describe what is happening.

Inclusiveness

Universal Design

What general features of your procedures and/or assessments support the learning of all
students by making this lesson accessible for every student in the class? Make sure to
address each of the 3 major principles of Universal Design (i.e. providing multiple means of
(1) representation, (2) action and expression, (3) engagement).

Multiple Means of Representation

Teacher will model using sensory details in writing, sensory details will be identified in a read
aloud of Owl Moon, graphic organizers and figurative language bookmarks will be provided.

Multiple Means of Action/Expression

Students will write about a small moment on an index card. Students will write down words or
phrases that use sensory details during read aloud of Owl Moon. Students will turn and talk
about the words or phrases they identified during the read aloud, and will be able to share
ideas during whole group discussion as well. They will also underline their own sensory
details, discuss them in a turn and talk with a peer, and consider other senses they may
want to incorporate in their writing. Students will expand upon writing they completed earlier
on in the lesson.

Multiple Means of Engagement

Students will be engaged through turn and talk and whole group discussions, independent
 p. 10

writing, and using resources such as graphic organizers or figurative language bookmarks.

Students with Specific Learning Needs (to be completed below)

What are some of the specific learning needs possessed by students in your class, and what
will you do to intentionally support students learning specific to this lesson?

IEP/ 504 Plans Supports, Accommodations, Modifications,

Examples: Auditory processing, attention
related issues
Pertinent IEP Goals (Do not copy and paste
from other lesson plans. These supports
should be specific to this lesson and these
students. List specific supports for students
using initials to designate each student.)

**I was going to be teaching this lesson in See Other Learning Needs section
the first block of the day, with students who
are not my homebase students. Because of
this, I do not know specifics about whether
students in that class have IEPs or not, as I
have spent the least amount of time so far
with this group of students. However, based
on my conversations with the ELA teacher
prior to teaching this lesson, I have written
about students who benefit from support in
the ELA classroom in the Other Learning
Needs section.

Specific Language Needs Supports, Accommodations, Modifications

Examples: English Language Learners,

regional varieties of English

N/A N/A

Other Learning Needs Supports, Accommodations, Modifications

Examples: Struggling readers, students with

gaps in academic knowledge, students
learning at an advanced level, etc.

Student A- benefits from being able to write
about experiences that are not personal.
Student B- benefits from one-on-one
guidance during independent work, in order
to help her begin the activity.
Student A-provide visual options to write
about that do not require the student to use
personal experiences for activities in the
lesson (nature postcards, sights around
Ithaca).
Student B- work with student in the beginning
of independent work to help her get started
on the activity. Fill out a section of the graphic
organizer with the student, as a model for
how it can be used to organize ideas before
writing. Ask student to fill out as many
sensory details on the graphic organizer as
 p. 11

appropriate for the moment student will be

Student C- benefits from reminders about
what need to be doing, benefits from support
in order to get started writing.
writing about. Follow up with student during
activity to see where she is at in the process,
and support if needed.
Student C- support student by explaining how
the graphic organizer is a useful tool that
writers use to organize their ideas prior to
beginning to write. Confer with student about
what he wants to expand upon in his writing
for the activity. For example, if student talks
about a character in the story, ask the
student if they can tell you more about the
character (ex. can you tell me a little bit
about what this character looks like?).
Recommend writing down ideas on the
graphic organizer first.

Theoretical Principles/ Research-Based Practices

Describe clearly how the theory/research supports your selection of learning activities for
this lesson.

Rief writes about the type of writing feedback that is useful for students, explaining that
Someone pointing out what stuck with them, asking me questions about things they really
want to know more about, and giving me a suggestion or two about ways to enrich the
piece are all helpful conferring strategies (p. 123-124). She talks about how she conferred
with a student named Craig, pushing him to tell her more about the fish he was writing
about. This led Craig to add more information about the fish. In my lesson, I conferred with
Student C, who benefits from support in order to get started with the writing process. Once
Student C shared that there is an alien in his story, I asked him if he could describe to me
what the alien looks like. The student proceeded to share details about the aliens
appearance (more details in reflection section below).

Wood Ray talks about the importance of modeling what you expect students to learn in the
lesson. The many reasons for this are that we find that we understand how the writing works
much better after we have tried it ourselves, We know that if we cant do it, we will have a
hard time helping our students see how they can do it, and We also gain a tremendous
amount of clout with our students because we are not suggesting they try things that we
have never tried ourselves (p. 142). In the beginning of the lesson, I modeled writing about
a small moment using sensory details. This was the hook that showed students what the
learning target for the day was.

References

Include here any professional resources from which one or more parts of this lesson plan
have been borrowed/adapted. (If a mentor teacher shared plans, please credit them.)

Rief, L. (1992). Seeking diversity: Language arts with adolescents. Portsmouth, NH:
 p. 12

Heinemann.

Excerpt: Chapter 7, Evaluation: Where I am. Where I want to be (pp. 121-132)

Wood Ray, K. (2002). What you know by heart: How to develop a curriculum for your

writing workshop. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann.

Excerpt: Chapter 9, Looking Closely at Mini-Lessons: Teaching from Texts

(pp. 127-143)

This lesson has been modified from a lesson from the Utah Education Network:
http://www.uen.org/Lessonplan/preview.cgi?LPid=13900

Graphic organizer borrowed from:

http://artistryofeducation.blogspot.com/

Figurative Language bookmark borrowed from:

http://msphalu-igcse.wikispaces.com/Descriptive+writing

The following questions should be answered after you teach your lesson. Some instructors or
supervisors may ask you to submit these responses separately from your extended-format
plan, so please ask your instructor/supervisor for more detail about expectations for the
completion and submission of lesson reflections.

Lesson Reflection

After the lesson has been taught, write your reflection.

How effectively did I promote a positive learning environment? How do I know?

After students wrote about a small moment on their index cards, a students was eager to
share what she had written. At the end of the lesson, the student was able to share what
she had written with her classmates. During the read aloud, as I made the who-who-whoo
sound of the owl, students followed along doing the same. Seeing that students were
excited to make the sound, I continued reading the book, pausing before each time the
sound came up so students can make the owl sound themselves. Students were involved in
many opportunities to talk to their peers about Owl Moon and their own writing. As I
circulated around the room, I heard students talking about the sensory details they heard in
Owl Moon. As students were underlining their own sensory details that they had written, I
heard many students express how many blue lines they had or how they had so many
different colored lines (different colors for different senses). This was before asking students
to turn and talk about the sensory details in their writing.
 p. 13

Although there were many positive moments during the lesson, there were also moments
that were not very positive. In the beginning of the lesson, there was a student that resisted
participating in the opening writing activity, reading a book instead. I had to explain to the
student that in that moment, he needed to make a different choice about what he was
doing, and that after completing the lessons activities he could continue reading his book.
He explained that he did not know what to write about. I explained that he could write about
his morning routine, or something that happened during his trip to school, or he could use
the images on the postcards to describe what he sees. The student eventually wrote
something down. Perhaps what would have been more beneficial for all of the students was
to talk about the lesson the day before, and ask students to think about a small moment
they will want to write about for the lesson. That way, the students have the evening before
to decide on a topic they will use in class, rather than having to come up with an idea on the
spot that may not be authentic to the students interests.

How well did I engage students in learning? How do I know?

I engaged students in learning in multiple ways. I began the lesson by reading about a
personal experience I had in the morning. I then asked students about what they heard, and
what specifically I had written about. Many students raised their hands to talk about what
they had heard. Students brought up how I had talked about my shoes and how they got
wet and made my feet sting, for example. Students were also engaged during the Owl Moon
read aloud, making owl sounds when there were opportunities for them to do so in the story.
Students also commented on what they saw in the images on the pages. For example, one
student wondered why Pa had turned on his flashlight directly towards the owl, asking
arent owls afraid of light. I responded by saying that dont know a lot about owls, but that
I wonder the same thing. After reading the sentence I could feel the cold; as if someones
icy hand was palm-down on my back I asked students if theyd ever felt that way, or if
anyone had ever done that to them. One student mentioned that her dad does that as a
joke to her. Students stayed on task during the turn and talk after the read aloud, talking
about the phrases and words they heard that used sensory details. Students talked about
how the snow was white like the milk in a cereal bowl and how the trees looked like
statues (not exact wording). Many students raised their hands to share what they talked
about during the turn and talk.
Students were really engaged when identifying their own sensory details. As mentioned in
the previous section, prior to asking students to talk about the sensory details they used,
they were already expressing how they had so much of a specific sense in their writing.
During the read aloud, some students in the back of the group on the rug did not appear
engaged. These students were looking down at their reading journals, drawing. I wonder
how I can re-engage those students.

How did I elicit and build on student responses to deepen their learning?

After the read aloud, when students were asked to share phrases that used sensory details, I
asked students which sensory detail specifically the author used in the text they noticed.
This was a way to name the sensory details students were identifying.
During independent work, I noticed that Student C had not written anything down on his
index card or on the graphic organizer. I asked him to tell me a little bit about the moment
he was interested in writing about. He said that he didnt have a real life experience that he
wanted to write about, and that he likes writing fiction. I told the student that was great, and
asked what kinds of fictional stories he likes to write about. He then told me that he likes to
write about space cats, and I responded by asking if he would be interested in writing
 p. 14

about that for this assignment. He responded that he would. I then reminded him about the
graphic organizer that he could use to write down his ideas before he begins writing his
story, and that it is a great tool writers use when they have ideas they are considering for a
story. I asked him if he could share with me a little bit about the character(s) he likes to
write about that involve space cats by writing a little bit about the character(s) on the
graphic organizer. I said that I was very excited to read all about the character(s), and that I
would be back in a few minutes to see how he is doing. I then returned after circulating
around to other students to check in and see how he was doing. He told me that there is an
alien in the story, which he had written down in the sight category of the graphic organizer
as an alien. I asked him if he could tell me a little bit about the alien, what it looks like. He
responded by telling me how it is black and has an exoskeleton. I told him that I could start
visualizing what this alien might look like, and asked him to consider writing down that
description he had shared in the sight category. After collecting the work, I saw that he did,
and that he added details into the other categories of the graphic organizer.

What changes would I make to my instruction to improve student learning? Why?

The main change I would make to my instruction to improve student learning would be to
take more time to explain why we are practicing using sensory details. I feel like I jumped
into the lesson without specifically explaining to students why sensory details are an
important tool for writing. This could have made the lesson a bit more meaningful for
students, especially for those students who were off task in some instances. The ELA
teacher I worked with suggested that next time, I could consider talking more about Owl
Moon, specifically about why people like to read it (sensory details in the book). I could then
rewrite one of the sentences in a very plain, non-descriptive way, and place it next to the
original sentence on a PowerPoint, so students could see the impact sensory details have in
writing.
Another change I would make would be in regards to the way I organized my lesson. Besides
for talking about sensory details, I had also wanted to mention metaphors and similes, and
how they are figurative language tools used in Owl Moon. During the lesson, I identified
where there were examples of metaphors and similes, if students mentioned them when
talking about sensory details. Although these are valuable tools students can use in their
writing, I felt that it was confusing to bring them up when the objective for the lesson was to
use sensory details. My reasoning for talking about figurative language was to introduce
students to it as an additional tool for writing, but not one they were required to use for this
lesson if they did not want to. I wanted to introduce it for students who may want to go a
step further and try something new, and I handed out a bookmark style list of examples of
figurative language examples for students to try out if they were interested in doing so.
After the lesson when I talked to the ELA teacher about this, she suggested that if I wanted
to introduce something extra that did not exactly relate to the main learning target, I could
have a mid-workshop interruption, where I would introduce figurative language as another
writing tool students can try if they were interested (and hand out the bookmarks with the
different examples).
I am also wondering about using my writing as a discussion point for students to think about
how I can expand on my writing using sensory details. That way, I am practicing what I am
asking students to do, something Rief talks about, and I am also providing an example of
what I expect students to do.
Lastly, the other change I would make would be to specifically state that students can create
a fictional moment to write about. In the beginning, I had focused on having students write
about real experiences, however the objective of the lesson was for students to be able to
use sensory details in their writing. So, it did not matter whether students wrote about real
 p. 15

or imagined events, so long as they were using sensory details to tell the story. This may
have helped students who were having difficulties coming up with something to write about,
giving them more freedom with the activity.

What did I learn about my students learning from my assessments? If I didnt learn what I
hoped to learn from the assessment(s) I used, how would I modify the assessment(s) for next
time?

Looking at the assessments I collected, students showed different ways they understood how
to use sensory details in their writing. Some students took their original writing and
expanded upon it using sensory details. For example, one student took the sentence My feet
padded gently on the floor as I walked to the bathroom and expanded on it, writing My feet
padded gently on the floor as the feeling of warmth from the wooden floorboards is replaced
by the cold tiling of the bathroom. Other students were able to show sensory details they
would use in a story on a graphic organizer. For example, a student who had written that
When the alarm went off I woked up in a sonde of the clock (lin lin lin) described the clock
on her graphic organizer as a dancing clock vibrating. Students also showed learning
through identifying the sensory details in their writing using different colored pencils.
Students identified sight details in blue, smell details in orange, taste details in red, touch
details in green, and hearing details in yellow. Overall, students were able to use sensory
details to write in different forms (on index cards, graphic organizer).

I wonder if I am analyzing these results in an appropriate way. Because the original learning
target I presented was I can use sensory details to describe an experience or event is it
enough that some students filled out the graphic organizer but did not write a full description
of a moment? Should I have required students to use a minimum number of sensory details
in their writing? Should I have required students to write a certain amount by the end of the
class? These types of details maybe could have been addressed in the learning target. For
example, maybe I could have written a learning target such as I can use a graphic organizer
to write down sensory details that describe a real or imagined moment in a story. I am still
wondering about this, and how to accurately analyze whether the work students completed
in class shows that they have completed the learning target for the day.

**Some students wrote final activity in writers journals because needed more room to write.
I could not acquire these writings, as students had put their journals away as soon as they
had to go to their next class.

Rev. 06/13/16