The easiest points to receive I ended up forgetting which was the title.

Since I wrote my

essay it was hard for me to create one but I remember my tutor saying that the first paragraph

was very poetic so I based it off the quote called Quicksand. Most of my essay contained a lot

of you which didnt make sense because it had to be in third person so in every sentence that

contained that word was changed into their or they. My thesis had one supporting point that

sounded out of place which was strive so I had to think of another word to replace it, which

was perseverance. Also, I used commas when it can be replaced by because and that created

tons of comma splices. I never put any topic sentences in the beginning of my paragraphs which

ended up confusing the reader because most of it sounded similar. So, I added the topic sentences

that will introduce each of my supporting points, for example Rosa persevered against her

mother and societys criticism. Making the supporting point for each paragraph easier to follow.

For this essay, most of my errors were grammatical and I was heading in the right direction of

describing my character saintlike qualities. My conclusion is fixed because I summed up what

the overall message of the essay to remind the reader why they are reading it in the first place, by

referring back to my reasons that make my character Rosa saintlike.