Group Achievement Edtd

CONTENTS
TOPIC PAGE
Team Building Game Training Ideas and Tips 2
Team Building Games 8
Puzzles, games, trivia questions and answers for
quizzes, teambuilding activities, training and motivation
57
Team Building mental Games 76

Workshop 80
Transactional Analysis 84
Sharon Drew Morgen Buying Facilitation 90
Empathy, Trust, Diffusing Conflict and Handling
Complaints 95
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 100
Tom Peter In Search of Excellent 103
Dougles Mcgregor Theory x y 117
Problem Solving and Decision Making 122
Running Meetings 125
Brainstoming Process 138
Swot Analysis 141
Pest Maket Analysis Tool 147
Tom Peters In Search of Excellence 154
Action Centred Ledership 158
Negotiation Skills Training 184
Acronyms and Abreviations Dictionary for Training
and Bussiness 203
Stories, research findings and analogies 253
cliches and expressions origins 287
old clichs 385
team building games training ideas and
tips
team building games ideas and theory for employee
motivation, training and development
Here are techniques, theory and ideas for designing and
using your own team building games, exercises and
activities. Team building games, exercises and activities help
build teams, develop employee motivation, improve
communications and are fun - for corporate organizations,
groups, childrens development and even kids activities.
Team building games, exercises and activities also warm up
meetings, improve training, and liven up conferences. These
team building games ideas and rules will help you design
and use games and exercises for training sessions, meetings,
workshops, seminars or conferences, for adults, young
people and children, in work, education or for clubs and
social activities. Team building games, exercises and
activities can also enhance business projects, giving specific
business outputs and organizational benefits. Always ensure
that you have proper insurance in place for all team building
games activities, and take extra care when working with
younger people, children and organising kids party games.
team building and happiness
Here's a simple easy tip for team-building, motivation, and
creating happy atmosphere:
Buy a big basket. Buy lots of sweets or candy, lollipops too,
wrapped preferably (to stop them going all sticky overnight)
and put them into the big basket. Put the big basket of
sweets and lollies on the table before people arrive for work,
or the meeting, or the training session.
And then watch people smile. Sweets and lollipops break
down barriers. They are a universal language for feeling
good and being happy.
UNIT TUGAS-TUGAS KHAS MATRI (MAY 2004) 2

This gesture is not restricted to the training room; you can
put baskets of sweets all over the place. Even in the
reception and the board room; and even in the finance
director's office.
You can ask the receptionist if she (or he) would be so kind
as to make sure that the sweet basket is always filled to the
brim (at the company's cost of course), and to make sure
she (or he) always invites every single visitor to dip their
hand in and take a big handful for their kids. And you'll see
how wonderfully well people react to being treated in this
way.
Go spread the word - put a big basket of sweets on your
table.
When you've firmly established the practice of having
baskets of sweets everywhere, you can move on to fresh cut
flowers.........
A little bunch of fresh cut flowers in a vase, on a table. It's
worth a million words.
(Next of course you'll need to appoint a flower monitor,
which every right-minded person will want to be, so you can
have one per floor, or one per day of the week, or one per
department, whatever...)
team building games and activity tips
And here are some tips for more conventional team building
activities:
Practise the team building exercise yourself first to
check that it works, check timings, materials, and to
ensure you have all the answers. Anticipation and
planning are vital.
Make sure all team building games instructions are
clear and complete - essential for keeping control and
credibility.

Become proficient yourself first with any team building
games or equipment that you use.
Always have spare materials and equipment to allow for
more people, breakages and the inevitable requests for
freebie items ("Can I take a couple home for my
kids?...")
Take extra care when organising teambuilding activities
and games for young people, especially kids activities
and childrens party games.
tips for quick games and exercises for warm-ups and
team building
First of all - use your imagination - you can simplify, adapt,
shorten and lengthen most games and exercises. To turn a
long complex game into a quick activity or warm-up, scale
down the materials, shorten the time allowed, and make the
exercise easier. The number of members per team affects
activity time and complexity - teams of four or more need a
leader and tend to take longer than a pair or team of three.
Increasing or reducing team size, and introducing or
removing the team-leader requirement, are simple ideas for
increasing or reducing game complexity and exercise
duration.
Whatever you choose, as the facilitator, practice it yourself
first so you anticipate all the possible confusions, and so that
you have a good idea of how best to do it (you'll generally be
asked by the delegates after the exercise). Think carefully
about team sizes - pairs or teams of three are best for short
'construction' exercises, unless you want a leadership
element in the game. Without a leader, too many team
members causes non-participation and chaos, so avoid this
(unless the purpose of the exercise is to demonstrate why
teams need leadership).
For a quick game any newspaper construction exercises in
pairs is good - if people have done the exercise before add
an extra challenge aspect to make it different (maybe give
each team a banana to support on top of the construction

and/or limit the team to just 2 or three sheets of paper, or
ban the use of sticky tape) - whatever, if you have a slot of
20 mins, allow 10 minutes for the exercise so as not to rush
the introductory explanation or the review. Don't forget a
tape measure, and practice it yourself to try to come up with
an ideal solution for when they ask at the review.
Alternatively pick three or four lateral thinking puzzles and
split the group into two teams. Larger teams are fine for
quizzes because teamworking is less crucial. Giving a tight
deadline will encourage the teams to share out the puzzles,
which emphasises leadership, communication and use of
skills and resources.
Think about the points that the exercise are illustrating so
you can review afterwards sensibly.
tips for working with syndicate groups for team
building or training
Team building games and training exercises work better
using syndicate groups, or teams. This is particularly so if
you want a competitive element, which is very effective in
building teams and team spirit. Working with syndicates also
encourages and enables more participation, activity and
ideas, and managed well, it makes the trainer's or
facilitator's job easier. Using syndicates in team building
needs thought and planning - here are some pointers:
think about what you are trying to achieve and
structure the teams accordingly.
always plan in advance how you intend to structure the
syndicates.
threes work best when you want everyone to be
involved. pairs ensures everyone is involved, and
generally work quicker than threes, but are less
dynamic than threes.
groups above threes will require a leader to emerge or
people will be left out.

groups of four or five are good for providing the
opportunity for leaders to emerge.
groups of six or more require quite competent
leadership skills within the group.
ensure clear instructions are given to each sydicate,
and these are best given in writing as well.
more pressure is put on the team if only one set of
instructions is given - less pressure results from giving
each team member a copy of the task instructions.
the best number of team members to achieve a certain
effect will vary according to each exercise or game or
activity.
you can change or keep the make-up of the syndicates
as you change exercises, depending on the precise
team building and relationship aims.
some people are not comfortable being in the same
team or group as their subordinates or manager.
you have the option to nominate individuals to perform
certain functions within the team, eg time-keeping,
leading, scribe (recording), communicating, etc.
ensure syndicates have necessary equipmant and
materials, depending on format - eg flip chart paper,
pens, laptop, acetates.
ensure suitable space and working area exists for the
number and size of syndicates you plan to work with.

train the trainer team building ideas
The job of training managers and trainers how to run team
building sessions is different to running a team-building
session per se. It's important that delegates experience the
effect of different types of team building, and also and the
effect of the many variables which might apply (team
numbers, mix, location etc); different types of games and
exercises and their purpose (games, quizzes, competitions,
warm-ups, exercises, workshops, etc), and the theory
surrounding team building and designing team building
activities (personality and psychometrics; leadership;
communications; planning and preparation; follow-up; stress,
fun and physical activity; etc).

team building variables
team mix (age, job type, department, gender, seniority,
etc)
team numbers (one to a hundred or more, pairs and
threes, leadership issues)
exercise briefing and instructions - how difficult you
make the task, how full the instructions and clues are
games or exercise duration
competitions and prizes
venue and logistics - room size and availability (for
break-out sessions etc)
materials provided or available
stipulation of team member roles - eg., team leader,
time-keeper, scribe (note-taker), reviewer/presenter
scoring, and whether the exercise is part of an ongoing
competition or team league
With a full day or more it's very useful to include something
on personality types and how this affects teams, style of
management required, learning styles (eg Kolb, VAK, etc). If
you use psychometrics in your organization, if possible
expose delegates to the testing and theory - it's interesting
and a great basis for absorbing the issues. It also adds a bit
of hard theory to the inevitable other soft content.
Ongoing competitions are excellent for team building, but If
you are training the trainers don't run a competition through
the whole day - mix up the teams from time to time to show
how team dynamics can be changed and the effect of doing
so. Also demonstrate how games take on a different
meaning if numbers are changed (eg larger teams require
leadership or there'll be passengers; and, you can play the
same game with 3 and 6 people and it completely alters the
conduct and outcomes).

Change and demonstrate gender and age mixes also - team
mix is a crucial area of understanding.
Use a mixture of games to cover different logistical and
environmental constraints - small room, large room,
syndicate rooms, outdoors.
Include a mixture of games to develop different skills and
aspects within team building - leadership, co-operation,
communication, breaking down barriers, planning, time-
management, etc.
Ask the delegates (in syndicates) to design their own games
to meet specific scenarios. As well as the ideas, look at all
the variables: clarity of instructions, timings, team numbers
and mix, logistics, venue requirements, etc.
Outdoors, use traditional games like rounders, cricket, touch
rugby, relay races, to demonstrate the big team dynamics,
and the physical exercise effect - stress reduction,
endorphins and neuro-transmitters, etc.
Also cover 'workshops' and how to plan and run them -
practical sessions dealing with real business issues, with real
content and real action-based outcomes, including the team-
building effect - use a real business issue as an example.
This would also require some pre-session preparation and
coached and measurable follow-up, which are also extremely
useful and under-used mechanisms.

team building games
team building games ideas, exercises and activities
for employee motivation, training and
development, children's games and party games
Team building games, team building activities and team
building exercises for building teams and corporate
employee motivation. Employee motivation benefits from
team building games, exercises and activities. Use these
team building games and exercises ideas to warm up
meetings, training, and conferences. These team building
games are also great ice breakers for training sessions,
meetings, workshops, seminars or conferences. Team
building games and activities are useful also in serious
business project meetings, where games and activities help
delegates to see things differently and use different thinking
styles. Games and exercises are vital for stimulating the
brain, improving retention of ideas, and increasing fun and
enjoyment. Most of these games can be used or adapted for
children's development and education, or for kids party
games. We cannot accept responsibility for any liability
which arises from the use of any of these free team building
exercises ideas or games - please see the disclaimer notice
below. Always ensure that you have proper insurance in
place for all team building games activities, and take extra
care when working with younger people, children and if
organising kids party games.
See also:
team building games ideas and theory, which explains
about preparation, organization and training for
team building games and exercises
puzzles (and answers) for quizzes
tips on running teambuilding workshops

team building games - warm-ups, quick games and
exercises, ice-breakers, exercises and activities
These team building games and exercises generally last less
than one hour, and can be adjusted to create longer team
building activities, depending on team building, ice-breaker,
training development required. Ensure exercises are clearly
explained, and where appropriate - mostly - that a review
takes place afterwards. Review and discussion is often useful
and helpful after exercises which have raised relationship
issues, or changed people's perceptions.
j'accuse (conflict management, johari window
development, developing relationships, mutual
understanding)
use this activity with care!
Use this activity only if you are confident you can control it.
Refer to the Johari Window - it provides the basis for
interpreting and gaining positive development from this
exercise. Ask people to tell each other in pairs, (or two-on-
one, three-on-one, if you wish to create more pressure)
about their (the other person's) weaknesses, failings,
dislikeable traits, wrong past actions or decisions, etc.,
(again adjust the brief according to sensitivities). Arranging
the groups beforehand is essential. Having participants and
observers makes the activity more controllable and less
likely to result in a free-for-all. You must plan to make this
exercise ultimately positive, in which people get to learn
more about what's in the 'known to others, and unknown to
self' Johari quadrant (which isn't all necessarily bad, but you
can ask for only negatives to be pointed out for the sake of
demonstrating conflict). Delegates should also be
encouraged to think about what causes conflict and
emotional upset, and how to avoid, avert and diffuse it.
During the exercise the 'victims' can be encouraged to be
defensive (rather than tolerant and absorbent), and the
'accusers' to be aggressive and confrontational, if you want
to create more 'conflict' for people to deal with. Beware of

ending up upsetting people - use a bell or whistle to bring
people back to sensible rational adults (and to inject some
timely humour) if things threaten to get too heated. If you
wish to de-personalise the activity ask people to role-play
the accusations and defensive reactions. Showing and
explaining the Johari model after rather than before the
activity increases the likelihood of emotional and natural
reactions during the exercise (ie., the more you explain and
prepare, the more objective people will be). Afterwards (or
before) you could also refer people to the Emotional
Intelligence and Transactional Analysis concepts to
demonstrate how objectivity helps avert conflict. Please
don't hold me responsible for the cost of cleaning the blood
off the walls.......
je t'adore (johari window development, team-building,
relationships, emotional intelligence
development)
A positive alternative or supporting exercise for the 'conflict'
activity above. Again refer to the Johari Window model. Ask
people in pairs to tell each other something good about the
other person that the other person will not know themselves.
It's basically an activity in which genuine compliments or
feedback is given about a person's traits, past actions,
behaviours, etc., - the positive feedback can be about
anything. This widens the Johari quadrant: 'known to others
and unknown to self'. The act of giving and receiving
genuine positive feedback is also hugely enriching and
motivational. You can review afterwards how people felt
when giving and receiving praise, and contrast this with the
negative effect of giving insensitive criticism. This exercise
can be used in conjunction with the negative feedback
activity above to further emphasise the contrast between
praise and blame. Useful reference models are also
Transactional Analysis and Emotional Intelligence.
there ought to be a law.. (creative thinking,
recruitment selection activity, ethics and morality
discussions)

A simple exercise for individuals, pairs, threes or a whole
group exercise: the aim of the activity is to suggest a new
law, with reasons for it. The game can be extended into a
clear-communications and writing exercise, by asking the
delegates to write the new law in clear terms that explain it
absolutely clearly, with minimum leeway for
misunderstanding or misiniterpretation. The clarity of the
writing can be tested by group questions and review. This
exercise is particularly relevant for people who will benefit
from improved awareness of communicating, delegating and
briefing skills. Also helpful for people with responsibility for
writing instructions and manuals. Also a good personality
and attitudinal indicator exercise when used as an activity
for individual candidates in recruitment group selections.
mottos (warm-ups, ice-breakers, creativity, self-
expression, johari window development)
For teams, whole groups or individuals. Ask the team(s),
individuals or work-group to decide on a motto or maxim
that reflects their values and purpose, etc. Individuals or
teams then present their motto to the group, and discussion
can take place as necessary. You can be specific about
precisely what the motto must represent, or leave the brief
more open, depending on the session aims. Timings are
flexible, to suit the situation. This is a very flexible activity.
As an extension of the exercise, from one session to the next
in a week or a month's time you can ask the individuals or
teams to find the Latin translation.... For inspiration you
could show some examples:
"E Pluribus Unum" - the original motto of the United
States meaning "One from many" or "One from many
parts"
"Search, Solve and Succeed" - Pioneer Primary School,
Singapore.
"Per Ardua Ad Astra" meaning "Through Adversity to the
Stars" - the British Royal Air Force

"Per Veritatem Vis" meaning "Strength Through Truth" -
Washington University
"Securior Quo Paratior" meaning "The Better Prepared,
The More Secure" - Somerset Rossiter family
flags (creativity, self expression, warm-ups, inter-
team or inter-departmental relationships)
Lots of flexibility in this activity. It can be used for individuals
or teams of any sorts. The object of the exercise is simply to
design a flag that symbolises the person or the team (or
group or department, etc). Materials required are just some
flip chart sheets and colouring pens or paints. The exercise
can be used as a quick warm up or ice-breaker, say five
minutes to create the flags, and a couple of minutes each to
present and review; or a longer team or group activity,
requiring 10-15 minutes discussion, development of ideas,
creating the flag design, and then as much time as is
necessary to present and discuss the reasons and reactions.
When invited to express themselves in a completely new and
different medium, people find it easier to really think about
their qualities. The exercise is particularly useful to begin
inter-departmental workshops. Teams have to think about
what they stand for, how they wish to be seen, and other
teams have a chance to see and understand colleagues or
other departments in a different way. As an exercise for work
groups this is a good prompt for debate within the team, and
then afterwards between teams when flag designs are
presented and reviewed. This exercise is also excellent as an
individual activity for children and young people of all ages.
It can also be used for pairs or threes of friends, boys groups,
and girls groups; the possibilities really are endless. As an
alternative to flags, a coat of arms could be given as the
design task. Obviously encourage participants to include
symbols and image icons, as well as colours and shapes.
commitment to change (making things happen,
personal change, etc)

A simple exercise for any size group, and a great warm-up or
ice-breaker too. Split group into pairs. Task each individual to
agree with their partner something about themselves that
they would like to change - probably something that they
have known to be in need of improvement or change for
some time. Each individual clarifies understanding of the
change action with their partner, with suitable measure and
timescale (use the SMARTER rules as a reference - it's on the
acronyms and delegation sections), and then each person
makes a personal commitment to the partner to make
the change. Each partner is responsible for following up this
commitment and checking that the change action has been
completed (which happens after the training course,
meeting, gathering, etc). The point of the exercise is to
demonstrate the importance of specifics, accountability
and commitment, being the ingredients of any successful
change. Refer to SMARTER again in the review of change
actions committed, so as to confirm the viability of each
action committed.
best practice development forum
This exercise builds teams and produces good organizational
outputs. The activity can also be run as a virtual team
building game for staff in different locations using a team
conference call or video conferencing. Ideally participants
will perform similar roles or at least perform roles with
common aspects (if not participants should have good
facilitative skills). The aims of the exercise is to share and
develop best practice, ideas, and/or solutions to common
problems. This provides a useful and collectively enjoyable
experience, with some good outputs for the organization
when best practice is identified or developed, and can then
be implemented. Split large groups into teams of three or
four. Over four per team makes full involvement unlikely. For
example, if the total group size is twelve, run four exercises
concurrently in four teams of three. At the end of the
exercise each team leader presents results of their
discussions and ideas or solutions development to the whole
group. You could then look at implementing most viable

suggestions, create project groups and then pilot groups.
Establish an emphasis on working together to identify and
implement constructive change, through the sharing of ideas
and experience. The activity can become a regular
development forum; a place where challenges,
opportunities, local problems, etc., can be brought along and
collective ability used to find and apply solutions. Teams can
be changed for each team building session. It's important to
clarify the precise aims of each exercise before it begins.
Teams can take a few minutes to do this prior to
commencing the activity. Take special care with explaining
and clarifying if people of different nationalities are involved.
Ensure also that team members explain and understand
each other's situations and processes (which in itself is
another helpful output from the exercise). Ensure adequate
support for all initiatives taken forward to implementation
stage, so that participants see that their work is resulting in
some positive effect. Securing support from up-line
management prior to the process will help this, as will
obtaining commitment from up-line management where
possible for initiatives considered worthy of implementation.
See also the notes on workshops, brainstorming, and project
management, which can be relevant to various stages of this
activity.
team poker
Here's a very simple and effective game for team-building,
team-working, building cooperation, problem solving,
leadership, and decision-making skills. Also great for an ice-
breaker and warm-up activity. The game can be used with
with a group of 10 or more, and requires only a deck of
cards. Explain these simple rules of the exercise: One card
will be handed out face down to each delegate. Players must
not look at their cards until the game starts. The aim of the
exercise is for each person to put together the best three-
card hand by joining with two other delegates.
Where total group size is not exactly divisible by three,
players need not be exclusive to one group of three, ie., any

player is permitted to be part of more than one three-card
hand. This rule is optional, to be decided by the facilitator,
when the total group is exactly divisible by three. A
requirement for exclusive sets of three will tend to increase
the competitive aspect of the exercise.
Card hands are best ranked according to poker rules, which
are open to different interpretation so it's essential to agree
the ranked order of possible hands before the game starts,
to avoid any doubt as to the winners. Example ranking to be
circulated or written on a flip-chart, lowest to highest:
highest card, a pair, three of a kind, flush (three cards same
suit), straight or run (eg., 8,9,10), top hand being a straight
or running flush. Also clarify highest suits, (eg., lowest to
highest: diamonds, clubs, hearts, spades). The best hand
possible would therefore be king, queen, ace of spades.
Set a time limit, by which all delegates must be grouped in
threes, each group representing a three-card hand. A minute
creates a pressurised activity; three minutes less so -
generally the larger the total group size the longer the
exercise needs, subject to a five minute maximum for very
large groups.
Variations can be used, which makes it more interesting if
you want to repeat the exercise later with the same group,
eg:
Each delegate receives two cards, requiring three
players to create a six card hand (clarify rules
accordingly).
Instruct the group to find three or four other players,
making four- or five-card hands.
Allow each player to change their card once with a card
from the top of the remainder of the deck, face down of
course (exchanged cards go to the bottom of the deck).
Upturn the card at the top of the remainder of the deck
and stipulate that each hand must include that card (in
which case three players will create four-card hands).

For very large groups use two decks, and stipulate
teams of five, (this is a great conference warm-up - you
could stick a card underneath each delegate's seat,
before delegates arrive.)
Plus any other variations of your own you wish to try.
Facilitator and delegates can review various behaviours after
the activity - eg., leadership, teamwork, negotiating, and
decision making under pressure. This simple game will break
the ice, and get people out of their seats with minimal input
from the facilitator. Follow up with a group discussion about
aspects of the exercise relevant to the main session or
purpose. (Ack. S Enter)
newspaper bridge the gap team exercise (planning,
team-working, team building, etc)
Newspaper construction exercises are always reliable,
flexible and inexpensive activities for team building (and
planning, leadership, team-working, etc) - see the main
newspaper construction exercises and tips below, and they
are very transferable when you want games activities ideas
to cascade or spread usage through organizations or
departments. If your aim is to build teams and relationships,
especially inter-departmental, mix up the groups, so team
members don't already know each other. For an extra twist
to the usual towers or bridges exercises below, and ideal for
large groups, work with teams of 6. Split each team in half.
The team task is for each half-team of three (or can be pairs)
to build their half of a newspaper bridge so that it connects
and can be joined to the other half of their team's
construction, to meet in the middle between two tables.
Preferably (this is at the facilitators discretion) sticky tape
must not be used to fix each end of the bridge to the table -
ie., bridges must be self-supporting. The winning team can
be quickest or strongest supporting structure - it's up to the
facilitator - you can add the requirement for the bridge to
support an object - a lemon or a chocolate bar for example.
(The secret is to build up and out so that each side of the
bridge supports the other - two horizontal halves generally

collapse unless each is extremely strong. Tightly rolled struts
make stronger constructions. Establish game rules that
prevent both halves of the teams simply making a single
bridge fixed to each table with sticky tape, which would
defeat the challenge of the exercise. Control the level of
difficulty of the game by the distance between the tables
and the number of sheets issued.) And in similar vein:
newspaper domes big group exercise (team building
and team working, leadership, creativity and
design)
For one great big group team building exercise, split the
whole group into pairs or threes, the task being to build a
dome or roof structure/frame and cover it with newspaper
and sticky tape, between as many tables as there are
pairs/threes. This is not a contest between the teams, it's a
task for the whole group to cooperate and work together. For
example, for a whole group size of 12 people, there could be
six tables and six pairs - or five tables and five teams of
three - each pair/three building one strut of a six- or five-
strut dome frame; for a group of 9 people, there could be
three teams of three, and three tables, each team of three
building a strut for a three-strut roof frame. Each pair/three
should build their strut up and out from the table, connecting
in the centre space with the struts from each of the other
pairs/threes. Struts can be fixed to the tables and joined in
the centre-space with sticky tape. For large frames (which
will be required of the tables are placed further away from
each other), cross-struts can be used. The whole group can
then cover the dome or roof frame with sheets of newspaper.
Requires a lot of thought, team-working, communication,
sharing best-practice, assessment and feedback along the
way, and leadership at key decision stages. Control the level
of difficulty by the distance between the tables and the
number of newspaper sheets issued. (As with many of the
newspaper team building activities, the secret is to agree
first on a strut design - typically tightly-rolled sheets - which
can then be used to construct whatever overall design is
planned, but let the delegates work this out for themselves.)

It can be helpful for review afterwards to brainstorm with the
whole group the expected key performance elements, and
for these to be used as the assessment criteria (see the
Training elements/exercise review template assessment
proforma sheet available on the free resources page).
paper-doily exercise (communications, instructions,
interpretation, developing mutual understanding,
active listening, clarifying questioning techniques)
This exercise can be carried out in pairs with several pairs
playing the game at the same time, or one pair playing and
the remainder of the group observing. Two people sit back to
back. Each has a piece of paper (can be any sheet of paper
provided it is rectangular - not square - a large sheet of
newspaper works well particular if the activity is being
observed). One player (the instructor) folds and tears his/her
sheet of paper at the same time reading pre-prepared
instructions to the other person (the student) as to how the
student is to fold and tear/cut their sheet of paper. For added
interest issue each pair with a hole-punch and a pair of
scissors (smaller sheets of paper are more likely to require
scissors). Other than giving the instructions the delegates
cannot discuss or explain anything else. Instructions must be
read out exactly as they appear on the instructions sheet,
which is created and supplied by the facilitator. Neither
player must be able to see what the other is doing while the
exercise is under way. After the instructions have been
completed, the team members turn and face each other,
unfold their sheets and compare their paper doilies, which
will look quite different, even though each has been made
from the same instructions. Here are examples of
instructions for the instruction sheet (you can create your
own variations or use these, or reduce them for a quicker
simpler exercise - do not include the bracketed points, which
are facilitators notes and to help with the review):
1. Fold the paper in half horizontally (this depends on
what way the sheet is held and could be interpreted to
be folded along the landscape or portrait axis)

2. Fold in half again diagonally (again, this is open to
interpretation - normally an asymmetrical fold corner-
to-corner).
3. Fold in half again vertically (again, this is open to
interpretation).
4. Fold the top right corner so that the point is at the
centre of the folded sheet (the folded corner could be
one of four).
5. Fold the longest point to the corner farthest away from
it (can be open to interpretation).
6. Fold in half again or as close to two halves as possible
(it may not possible to fold exactly into two symmetrical
or even asymmetrical halves).
7. Tear or cut off 2cm of the sharpest corner with a
straight cut or tear.
8. Tear of cut off 1cm of the opposite or farthest corner to
the above corner with a curved cut or tear (curved what
way? - again this is open to interpretation).
9. Punch three holes along the longest edge (where
exactly along the edge is open to interpretation).
10.Punch two holes in the next-to-longest edge (where
exactly along the edge is open to interpretation).
11.Cut a 0.5cm sharp 'V' two-thirds into the shortest edge
(this is open to interpretation).
12.Unfold the paper and compare your doily with your
partner's doily.
Points for the debrief and review discussion: How many of
you ended up with paper projects exactly the same? Why
were you unable to end with exactly the same doilies? What
instructions were the least helpful and why? How could these
instructions have been made clearer? What clarifying
questions would you have asked if permitted to clarify the

instructions? What additional tools or devices would help the
reliability of the instructions and fullness of understanding
(the obvious ones are a ruler, and a diagram for each stage -
the point here is that complex instructions often need tools,
references, examples or other devices to enable proper
clarity and accuracy, and the responsibility is with the writer
to take the initiative to use and include these aspects if
required - don't assume that words alone are sufficient,
because they rarely are).
As an extension of the exercise ask everyone (in pairs of as a
group discussion or brainstorm exercise) to re-write the
instructions so as to guarantee producing two identical
doilies.
NB If facilitating this exercise ensure you try out your
instructions before using them in the activity.
(Based on a suggestion from D Smith)
desert island menu
A quick, simple (and often revealing) warm-up, ice-breaker
and introductory exercise for any group up to about a dozen
people. (Group size can be larger if the 'show-and-tell' time
per person is controlled tightly). Delegates have a couple of
minutes to consider and decide three types of food that
they would choose to live on for a year, if stranded on a
desert island, with nothing else to eat or drink, other than
water. After considering their selection and reasons, each
delegate then takes turns to tell the group what three foods
they would chose and why. The facilitator can determine
finer points of the rules, such as if there's anything to cook
with, if there are any condiments, and "Does 'chicken tikka
masala' count as one food type?", or "Can we choose
processed ready-made meals as one food type?", etc. The
point of the exercise is to get delegates thinking about
something completely different, in a way that allows them to
express their own personality, likes, dislikes, weaknesses,
etc, to the group. For large groups put people into teams of
three and have them come up with a selection of three foods

that satisfy each member of their team. Other than obviously
daft selections like 'whisky, lager, and magic mushrooms' or
'burgers, chips and eggs' there are no right or wrong
answers - it's simply an exercise in personal preference.
newspaper models (team building, problem solving,
creativity, leadership, planning and project
management)
A variation on the newspaper construction exercises featured
below. For bigger teams, especially comprising engineers
and technical team members. Instead of making newspaper
towers or newspaper bridges, the challenge is to make a
more complex model, of a machine, or vehicle or building,
again out of newspaper. If the model is to be a machine it
could be a working model. the machine could be one from
the particular work situation. Introduce additional materials
as appropriate - string, pipe-cleaners, rubber bands, stapler,
etc. The bigger the team then the more complex and
challenging the task can be. For teams of 5 or more ask that
each team appoints a leader, and state that each team
leader is responsible for ensuring full participation of all
team members. Refer to the tips and rules for newspaper
construction exercises below.
the postbag exercise (for group selection recruitment,
time management, planning and prioritising, and
assessing strategic judgement and initiative,
team-working, organization and decision-making)
This exercise is good for group selection activities. The team
exercise is to sort a big pile of your typical post. Team size 3-
5, so if there are more than 5 delegates create more than
one team, and ensure suitable space, materials, and
facilitator for each team. If used as a group selection activity
involving more than one team (it would be suitable for
supervisors and clerical staff) observers can move between
teams. You'll need to define the typical destinations/actions -
give basic guidelines but not sufficient for all the answers, so
that there's opportunity for teams and team members to use
their own initiative. Define the purpose of the exercise

clearly in terms that reflect what you want the delegates to
achieve and the hypothetical situation in which they'll be
working. Also explain to the team(s) that they can ask
facilitators about certain items if required, and include two or
three oddball items that definitely need asking about.
Observers will be able to see how the teams organize
themselves, people's levels of initiative and judgement,
experience, who has good and less good ideas, input, and
how people work with others in a team situation. You could
ask the teams to present their conclusions as to what should
happen with the contents of their postbag. Review and
discussion also will provide useful indicators. For added
challenge you could throw in a couple of 'interruptions' such
as phone calls or visitors introducing additional issues to be
sorted, prioritised and actioned. This exercise can also be
used for supervisory management development and
assessment. If used with people who already work for the
organization the exercise provides useful indication as to
delegates strategic awareness and prioritisation capabilities
and judgement.

SWOT analysis team building exercises (for team
building, decision-making, change-management,
strategy development, direction and motivation)
For a single team or any number of teams. For teams of
three or four team members. Teams of five and over require
a team leader. This is a really motivational and empowering
activity that can deliver immediate organizational and
business benefits. The exercise duration is from 30 minutes
upwards, depending on the complexity of the SWOT subjects
issued to or agreed with the teams. The SWOT exercise can
take a whole day if the task is complex and big. First refer to
the SWOT analysis notes and template examples on this site.
Ensure all delegates are issued with SWOT analysis
instructions, and confirm their understanding of the process,
which makes an ideal initial group exercise.
Identify before the session, or have the teams or team
members do so at the start of the exercise, suitable subjects
for SWOT analysis. Have the teams choose a subject each,
and then work as a team to produce the SWOT analysis,
which should then be presented back to the group for
discussion and review. It's important that the teams want the
particular subjects.
Prior to the exercise it's important for the facilitator to clarify
what will happen after the exercise to the teams' SWOT
analysis findings, so that team members have an
appropriate expectation for where their efforts and
recommendations will lead.
This SWOT exercise is very flexible - use it to suit the
situation, the group, and what the organization needs.
Examples of SWOT subject areas (have some specific
propositions, opportunities or options handy in case you
need them):
organizational or departmental change options
business development ideas

team re-structuring
problem-solving options
customer service improvement ideas
production/distribution/technical support efficiencies or
improvements ideas
N.B.
1. The above headings are not SWOT subjects, they are
areas within which you can identify SWOT subjects.
2. A SWOT analysis can only be used to assess a specific
option, proposition, company, department or idea - a
single SWOT analysis cannot be used to compare
options or evaluate a number of options or propositions
at once.
3. Avoid agreeing to SWOT subjects that are clearly
beyond the remit of the teams (which creates
expectations that cannot be met), unless the situation
allows for the group to make recommendations.
4. A SWOT analysis measures a business unit, a
proposition or idea; a PEST analysis measures a market.
PEST analysis team building exercise (for team
building, motivation, direction, strategy
development, gaining buy-in and consensus)
See the PEST analysis article and template. Structure the
activity as with the use of SWOT analysis exercise above.
Note that a SWOT analysis is based broadly on half internal
and half external factors. A PEST analysis measures a
market; a SWOT analysis measures a business unit, a
proposition or idea. PEST is almost entirely based on external
factors, so ensure at least some members of each team have
knowledge of, or are able to consider, the PEST factors if you
intend using this exercise. PEST is a good exercise for
marketing people, and is good for encouraging a business
developmant, market orientated outlook among all staff. If

you want to use PEST with staff who are not naturally
externally focused you can have them do some research and
preparation in advance of the exercise. As with the SWOT
exercise, it's important to clarify the subject of the/each
analysis.
'my pet hate' exercise (for rapport-building, empathy,
facilitative questioning, active reflective listening,
interpretation, personal development)
An innovative and effective team building exercise for
training and practising active and reflective listening skills,
empathy, and facilitative questioning. Also a great team
activity for personal development and personal problem
solving. For groups of six or more in teams of three or pairs.
Ask each delegate to think of a situation or person that they
find extremely difficult or frustrating. The situation can be
from work or home life, but nothing so personal as to cause
discomfort when revealed to others. Guide delegates also to
avoid criticism of other people who might be part of
identified frustrations, whether these people are present or
not.
For teams of three, the first person is the interviewer, second
person is as interviewee, and third is observer. The first
person in each team has 5 minutes (facilitator can allow
longer, depending on total exercise time available, group
size and desired intensity) to question the second person
about the second person's difficulty or frustration. The first
person should use rapport-building and empathy, sensitive
facilitative questioning, active listening, reflective listening,
and interpretation skills, to encourage and enable the
second person to explain how they feel, why they feel like it,
what are the causes and what might be the remedies, plus
any other points of relevance. The second person should try
to respond naturally to the interviewer. The group then
reconvenes and the first person from each team must then
briefly (max 2-3 mins) describe, explain and summarise to
the group the second person's difficult situation. The second
person from each team then gives feedback to the group

(including to their interviewer) as to the accuracy of the
interpretation and the quality of the interviewing (rapport-
building, facilitative questioning, active listening, reflection,
interpretation and empathy) used by the first person. The
third person observer of each team then provides a brief
neutral overview comment, if required and helpful. When
each team has completed these stages, rotate the roles and
run the exercise again, so that each person plays the
interviewer, interviewee and observer.
This exercise can also be run in pairs, without the third-
person observers, which is appropriate for small groups of 4-
8 people, or if the time available for the exercise doesn't
allow three rotations of the team roles. Use the review sheet
to provide a break-it-down structure for feedback and review.
For odd numbers of groups the facilitator can take part to
make teams numbers equal, which is important so as to
avoid creating 'passengers' (inactive team members) at any
stage.
Training and review elements of the exercise (optional use of
training element review sheet):
1. rapport building and empathy (intuitive sensitive style)
2. facilitative questioning
3. active/reflective listening
4. accuracy of interpretation and description
Exercise duration and activity options typically:
Facilitator's introduction and explanation, in use of
training element review sheet - 5 mins
Optional brainstorm of review elements - 5 mins
First interviews in teams of three - 5 mins
Summaries to group and feedback - number of teams x
3 mins
Second interviews in teams of three - 5 mins

3 mins
Third interviews in teams of three - 5 mins
3 mins
Final group review of activities and experiences - 5-30
mins depending on exercise depth and intensity
requirement
Optional review of personal actions arising - 5 mins
(defer major issues outside exercise session)
Total exercise time nominally 30-45 mins plus 3 mins for
each interview summary = total delegates x 3 mins, ie.,
a group size of fifteen in teams of three will take a total
of 75-90 mins.
If the exercise is run in pairs without observers the third
round of interviews and summaries is obviously not required.
smartie hunt game (team building, ice-breakers,
warm-ups, leadership, delegation, fun)
A fun game for a team building ice-breaker or training warm-
up, for leadership and team motivation, and a great party
game for kids or adults. This activity is also a great leveller
and funny to play and observe. For groups of ten to thirty or
so people, dependent on the room size. Split the group into
two or more teams - ideally 5-7 per team - and have each
group appoint a leader, which can - if helpful - be the least
confident, most junior member of each team (leadership in
this game is fun, and should help build confidence and status
of the leader). Before the session hide the contents of a tube
of smarties sweets (or a box, depending on team numbers
and game duration) around the room. Write down on
separate pieces of paper the names of as many animals as
there are team members (or children if its a kid's party).
Animals should be those associated with recognizable
noises, eg., pig, horse, cow, donkey, snake, duck, chicken,

monkey, frog, etc., although for an adults party, for extra
fun, you can include one or two animals for which no
recognizable sound is commonly known, eg., platypus,
armadillo, hamster, etc. (For very large groups you can
double the number of available animals by prefacing each
one 'little'/'large', or 'mummy'/'daddy', and stipulate that the
noises should differ accordingly - high and low of course...)
First have each team member take a piece of paper which
shows the animal they are to play in the game. The object of
the game is for team members to find the hidden smarties,
and direct their leader to them by making their own animal
noise (actions are entirely optional in this game, also great
fun and virtually inevitable). The team leader who collects
the most smarties wins the game for their team. Team
leaders are not permitted to look for smarties. Team leaders
are not permitted to follow the sounds of animals belonging
to other teams, but opposing team members are permitted
to follow sounds of animals of other teams, and then to make
their own noises on seeing the smarties. This great game
requires leaders to remember which animals are in their
teams, so a minute can be permitted for this before starting
the game. You can also allow a couple of minutes for teams
to prepare game tactics, although this is not essential. Give
a time limit - 5-10 minutes is fine - as smartie hunts are
tricky to predict. The use of smarties provides a good link to
the SMART and SMARTER acronyms relating to task
delegation. As an alternative to smarties sweets you can use
M&Ms instead, which link well to the 3M mnemonic or MMM
acronym: measurable, manageable, motivational, defining
the essential elements of any contracted arrangement or
delegated task (see the acronyms and delegation free
materials).
tattoo game (relationships, attitudes and behaviour
perceptions)
A game for dinner parties or team building and bonding,
however this game is definitely not an activity for
particularly sensitive people as it involves revealing personal
information, and entails discussion of potentially personal

feelings and perceptions. Seek all team members'
agreement before playing this game. This exercise can be
used for fun and relationship-building, or to highlight and
challenge assumptions and pre-conceived judgement about
people, class, background, stereotypes, etc. You can develop
different games ideas around this exercise depending on the
type of party game or team building activity required (and
the level of intimacy welcomed by the group), based on the
game as follows: ask team members to write down secretly
on a piece of paper each whether they have any tattoos on
any part of their body, or for more daring groups or party
games, a description of the tattoos and their locations. (The
amount of detail to be given is a variable factor of the game
and must always be subject to agreement by the delegates.)
Team members then fold their pieces of paper and put each
into a container to prevent cheating. Group members then
take turns to pick one of the folded pieces of paper and
guess who it belongs to. Team members should read out
what's written on the paper and explain their thought
process (which obviously raises points for comment and
reaction during or after the guessing game). If the person
guesses correctly, the paper is removed, if not, it is placed
back into the container. Points can be awarded for correct
guesses and/or to team members incorrectly matched to
tattoos. For groups of up to seven the guessing stage of the
game is best played by individuals; groups of eight and over
can be split into two teams for the guessing stage of the
game, in which case members of the guessing team are not
allowed to admit or deny ownership of the description. Team
members should also be instructed to disguise handwriting,
and to use the same sort of pen or pencil, to avoid giving
clues. Allowance also needs to be made for team members
having visible or known tattoos, the simplest rule being to
disregard these tattoos. For the same reason team members
selecting a description that they know already (of a friend for
instance) should return the piece of paper to the container
without revealing its contents and pick another. The point of
the game is not the score or who wins, it is the speculation
and guessing, and the ensuing discussion and reaction,

particularly people's reactions when being matched
incorrectly, and correctly, to particular tattoos. For more
adventurous activities and variations to this game you can
extend the exercise to include body piercings, which, like
tattoos, for the purpose of the game, should not be known or
visible. N.B. Tattoos and piercings are actually a serious and
fascinating aspect of human behaviour, culture and
evolution, and have featured in one form or another across
most civilizations throughout the history of human-kind; in a
games context the subject can produce lively and
enlightening debate. (As with all of these games on this
team building page please read carefully the disclaimer
below - if in doubt about any team member's vulnerability or
sensitivity to any team building game or activity, don't use
it.)
the 'prisoner's dilemma' win-win game (based on the
'prisoner's dilemma' puzzle, for team building, and
team-working, co-operation skills)
Various versions of this can be used - here's a free 'prisoner's
dilemma' win-win game sheet and scorecard for a great
team building game ideally for a group split into two teams
of up to five per team (larger teams require leaders to avoid
chaos or disaffected passengers). The teams must select
simply either 'defect' or 'co-operate' in each round. Scoring
is based on the selections of both teams. The point of the
game is to game is to demonstrate that poor co-operation
leads to winners and losers, and ultimately everyone loses
as a result of retaliation. When the teams decide to
cooperate, everyone wins. The facilitator acts as the
'banker'. Use this free team building exercise with groups
sizes from four (in which case the 'teams' would be pairs), up
to twenty or more, or split teams into pairs and have them
play separately. Contact us for a working file if you need to
make amendments. For details and examples of the
prisoner's dilemma look at the puzzles section.
More guidance for playing the prisoner's dilemma game:

The game is better with two teams, but it will work with
several teams.
The game sheet that is available as a pdf on the free
resources section of businessballs is all you need to
give to the teams.
The only 'question' each round for each team is to
decide whether to defect or cooperate.
If delegates want to start with an imaginery 'float',
rather than having to contemplate being in debt, you
can agree a small credit balance for each team.
The point of course is that if all teams cooperate they
will beat the banker, but it takes a while for them to
realise this - so don't tell them before hand, just explain
the scoring system and tell them the point is to
accumulate as much 'money' as possible - teams then
tend to defect and try to win at the other team's
expense, which in turn causes relatiation, which
produces unsustainable losses.
For background reference, read the explanation of the
prisoner's dilemma on the complex puzzles page.
Use the game sheet from the free resources section
(one per team - make sure all team members can see it
- if necessary issue copy-sheets or show the sheet on a
screen).
The facilitator should practice the game first with
individuals (eg family members) playing the part of the
teams, so you see how it works.
In early rounds make sure that teams do not reveal
their selection to other teams until they all show their
selection at the same time - the best way is have them
write down on a sheet of paper and then all show
together, or for them to hold up a pre-prepared 'defect'
or 'cooperate' card, simultaneously, when the facilitator

says to. As the game progresses allow teams to confer
if they ask to.
The facilitator needs to keep the score for all the teams
on a flip-chart or equivalent.
The game ends when the teams get the point and are
all cooperating every round, which will beat the banker.
team-building workshops (for team building, change
management, performance management,
creativity, train-the-trainer, problem solving,
process development, etc)
Workshops are a wonderful way to motivate and focus
teams, as well as breaking down barriers, and developing
performance, confidence and achievement. Workshops are
also ideal for teams and groups who might resist or feel
uncomfortable with games or activities too far removed from
their normal work. Workshops can be very quick, and
integrate well within routine team meetings. Workshops also
help establish new leaders into teams whether established
or newly formed. The participative aspect of workshops
make them highly effective team building activities. As ever,
for any training session, workshops need clear aims be
established and agreed, and the session to be clearly
planned and managed, with useful, relevant outputs, which
can be coached later through implementation. More details
about workshops, and a sample format for a 1-2 hour session
are on the workshop section.
up in the air (for team building, handling change,
team development, teamwork, listening skills,
illustrating the training and learning process, and
more)
You can use this game to support the training of any new
task, particularly if delegates feel unsure about their ability
to learn the new task and apply it along with existing
activities. The game works extremely well, and trainees love
it because it's different and fun. This exercise will also help
participants understand and deal with that uncomfortable

feeling when they join a new team, experience change within
their own team, or are forced to adjust to a change in
procedure or policies. It emphasises the understanding of
'what is now new and will soon become the normal' and
helps demonstrate how the transition from new to normal
can flow naturally. Amongst other things, use this great team
building game to develop multi-tasking ability, eg., for
people who are unsure of their ability to talk to customers
and work on the computer at the same time. This game is
also ideal as a warm-up for training sessions or courses
because it helps delegates remember the names of other
people in the group.
How it works: A group of 6 to 20 stand in a circle facing each
other. The facilitator must participate as well. The facilitator
explains to the group that they will call out a person's name
and toss a ball (such as a stress ball or juggling ball - any
soft object actually, even fruit or cuddly toys will suffice) to
the named person. That person must then call out another
person's name in the circle (who has not yet had the object
tossed to them) and then throw the object to that person.
This continues until everyone in the circle has thrown and
caught the object. The facilitator must explain to the group
that each person must remember their catcher. When the
object has been thrown to everyone in the group, the ball
returns to the facilitator, and is then thrown around the circle
again, in the same order as before. This cycle continues until
the facilitator is happy that the whole group is comfortable
with the exercise. (You'll know this because people are
actually listening for their name to be called out and
catching the object.)
When the group is competent with the first ball, the
facilitator introduces a second ball (or suitable object), which
must follow the same order as the first, so that two objects
are being passed around the group. When competence is
reached with the two objects, a third is introduced, and still,
every thrower must announce the name of the catcher
before throwing.

And so on. At some stage between three objects and
saturation point (ie as many objects being passed as people
in the group - it's up to the facilitator) without warning the
facilitator instructs the group to begin tossing the objects in
the REVERSE order (ie., catchers call out names of, and
throw to, the people who previously threw to them. Chaos at
first, but all great fun, and gradually people learn, which
after all, is the point of the game.
Points to review: How did you feel when the exercise began?
After you reached a comfort level with the task, how did you
feel when more objects were added? How soon did you
achieve comfort level when new objects were introduced,
and did this timescale change for each new object? Did
anyone in the team begin encouraging or helping others by
telling them to just focus on the person tossing the object to
them? When we had the major change of reversing the order
the object was tossed, did you expect it? How did you handle
it? Did the group eventually perform well at it and get a
constant flow of objects in the air? You will think of more
questions to ask and points to review, especially when
seeing the game played. (Ack. Tori Sarmiento)
team jenga and reverse jenga (team building,
leadership, tactics, planning)
Jenga is the traditional wooden-block tower de-construction
game, table-top version or giant garden outdoors size. In
teams of between two and six, play it normally (removing
blocks, each team taking turns to remove a block until it
collapses) or in reverse (building it up, taking it in turns,
keeping to a specified pattern or set of rules, again until it
collapses). You can use other suitable building blocks or
materials in the absence of Jenga (snack-size chocolate bars
are good). With larger teams (four or more) allow some
planning time for tactics and leadership issues to be
developed, and review afterwards accordingly.
who am i ?

Lots of variations to this one: Can be played individually or in
teams. A card on is taped onto the player's forehead showing
everyone the name written on it. The player with the card on
his/her forehead (who does not know the name on the card)
must then ask closed questions (requiring only 'yes' or 'no'
answers) to establish his/her identity. The method of creating
name-cards is flexible: the facilitator can prepare in advance,
or have the group think of names and create cards, based on
any theme that's appropriate, including work colleagues, or
even the session group members themselves. Using names
of work-colleagues and group members adds a fascinating
dimension, (relationships, reputations, perceptions,
emotions), so needs sensitive facilitation and review.
tyre game
A wonderful team building game for teams of ideally 10 to
15 persons, although a minimum of six people per team will
work, and actually there is no upper limit per team - it
depends on space, and how much emphasis is placed on the
planning stage. Total group size is therefore as many 10-15
person teams that the space will accommodate, which also
makes this team building exercise terrific for conferences
and warm-ups of very large groups. You'll need two bicycle
tyres, with different tread patterns, for each team. Organize
each team into a circle, with the team members' hands
tightly clasped. The tyres are introduced by the facilitator at
opposite points of the circle by unclasping hands of two
members and hanging the tyres on the arms, which should
then be joined again by clasping their hands. The object of
the game is for the team to pass each tyre in a different
direction around the circle, involving two crossings of the
tyres, and then finishing with each tyre at its starting
position. The team which finishes first wins the game. Hands
must not be unclasped, and thumbs cannot be used to
support or move the tyres. Allow ten minutes planning and
thinking time, (or for very large teams where a warm-up only
is required, give instructions so that the game can start
immediately). Obviously the game must start at the same
time for each team. The trick is for the tyre to be moved up

the arm, over the head, down the body, at which point the
person steps out of the tyre, one leg after the other, and the
tyre continues down the other arm to the next team
member. The stepping manoeuvre when two tyres cross is
the most difficult and requires some agility, so the planning
and team selection is potentially very important. NB As a
facilitator you must practice this game before using in
a team building or conference situation, to prepare
for questions and to demonstrate, if required.
Here are the typical review points for the tyre game team
building exercise, usually based on the performance of the
winning team:
The team understands the task and aim of the team
building game.
The circle of people develops into a team with a
common objective.
Technique to achieve task is discovered and refined by
'storming' (see the Tuckman team development model).
A team leader emerges.
Practice (essential) develops technique and plan.
The leader's role becomes stronger as the team
develops.
Difficulties are ironed out.
Resources (people) are reorganized.
Right person for the right job (notably for the two
crossing points)
Training and practice are carried out.
The team becomes increasingly motivated to perform.
Performance improves, excels, achieves and wins.
(With thanks to Lt Col Ajay Ukidve (retired), Victory
Associates, Pune, India)

table quiz
It's very easy to create a simple quiz - base it on a theme or
general knowledge - which can be use for teams or pairs in
competition. See the Big Boys Toys table quiz as an example
of a themed quiz, available as a pdf download (Ack. J Hespe).
See also the puzzles section for quiz questions. The Big Boys
Toys table quiz can be given as a competitive exercise
between teams lasting 20-30 minutes plus 10 minutes to
review, or as a quiz to be worked on in breaks or overnight
as light relief. Prizes always increase team-building value and
enthusiasm.
spaghetti and marshmallow towers
For a variation on the newspaper construction theme.......
Issue spaghetti (raw uncooked) and marshmallows to groups
of 4-5, and give them 15-30 minutes to build the highest
structure in the room (or a widest bridge or tallest arch, etc -
whatever the facilitator decides). A really different fun
exercise for team-building, motivation and illustrating many
management and organizational principles. Exercise
duration, amount of materials allocated, group sizes, and
whether to appoint team leaders are all flexible aspects of
this wonderful game. Excellent for jaded business-people,
young people and schools. The review afterwards can focus
on a wide range of issues - team-building, motivation, time-
management, organization, systems, planning,
communication, resources, research and development, etc. If
you use this exercise to illustrate a particular aspect - eg
communication - it is helpful for the delegates to discuss and
highlight some of the essential points in the pre-exercise
brief, which provides a useful framework for the review.
These unusual materials can also be used instead of
construction kits for the organizational modelling exercise
below. (Thanks Kathi Bogue)
delegate introductions
A very easy warm-up to relax everyone - whether the
delegates know each other or not (surprisingly this is often

more fun when they do - and if they don't they'll appreciate
the opportunity to meet and get to know each other early
on). This will also take the early pressure off you as the
facilitator by having them do some of the work. Ask the
delegates to pair up - you can simply suggest the person
sitting next to themselves, or something more active, like
finding someone with the same colour hair, or same height,
or same colour eyes, anything appropriate for the group.
Then ask each person briefly to interview the other person
(say three mins each), and then everyone to present the
other person to the audience, again briefly, say a minute
each. This is much more dynamic than simply asking
everyone to introduce themselves. If necessary give people
pointers as to what they should be finding out about the
other person (eg - job, home-life, likes, dislikes, hobbies, why
they are there, etc). You can also say that after the exercise
that everyone will have achieved useful experiences and
developed useful skills, ie, questioning, listening, interpreting
and then (scary for some) speaking to an audience of
strangers. These aspects of communicating are usually
consistent with at least one theme of the day, so is a
relevant and helpful way to start any training session.
the golf-ball shaker (for creativity and ice-breaking)
The exercise is great for beginning any creative session as it
gets people thinking and working outside of their known
area. It's also a good warm-up for any situation as it gets
people participating, smiling and laughing. It's best done by
individuals, although for a large group it can be done in
pairs. Ask the delegates first to design a shoe - any shoe -
making a sketch in 30 seconds. Displaying and reviewing
quickly all the ideas is an important part of the exercise so
have the delegates draw on acetate for an overhead
projector, or make a large drawing on a flipchart sheet, using
coloured fibre-tip pens. Quickly review each of the designs.
There are no right or wrong answers - the likelihood is that
most people's shoe designs will all be similar and certainly
resembling styles available in the high street, which is
because they are thinking about a concept that already

firmly exists - people mostly will be accessing memory and
experience rather than truly creating. Next ask each
delegate or pair to design an electric heater, again in 30
seconds. Review each design quickly. This time there will be
some quite different designs - again no right or wrong
answers - the purpose is to show that with less well-defined
pre-conceptions the ideas will be slightly fresher and a lot
more varied. Finally ask each of the pairs or delegates to
design a 'golf-ball shaker' - give no other explanation (what
the hell is a golf-ball shaker?.....) - again give 30 seconds for
the task. Review the designs and marvel at the range of
interpretations and ideas. The ideas necessarily are more
creative and innovative because there are no pre-
conceptions or existing products in the delegates' minds.
The exercise is liberating and enjoyable, particularly when
the ideas are reviewed. You can add more intrigue to the
exercise by asking the delegates to guess who is responsible
for each design, which highlights the aspect of personal flair
and style in design and creativity. (Ack. Tony Wills).
round tables (for delegation, leadership, team
building)
Split the group into three teams of five. Around the room (or
building) put five tables and on each table put three sets of
materials and instructions for a task - use things like
newspaper bridge building, newspaper towers, playing card
sorting, anything that's complex enough to create a
delegation challenge for a team of four plus leader (lots of
ideas for the tasks appear below).
The game is a contest (or time-based race, depending on the
scoring system you prefer to use) between the three teams
to complete all five table tasks in turn, only moving from one
to the next when each task is completed, or when time is
elapsed.
Every team member takes it in turn to lead their own team
and delegate the task activities as the team moves from
table to table. While leading, the leaders are not permitted

to take part in the task other than speak to their team
members.
To prepare, you need three sets of five task
materials/instructions. Each exercise should have a time limit
(up to you), and there needs to be a clearly understood
scoring system for each task (easiest would be simply 3pts
for winner, 2pts for 2nd and 1pt for 3rd).
As the judge, you reserve the right to deduct penalty points
for transgressions (eg leaders participating, or tasks being
incomplete or running over time). There needs to be a clear
way to measure the performance of each team for each task,
so there can be a clear result at the end. The extent to which
relative performance is visible to all teams at the time of
doing the tasks is up to you - it's a variable factor that
changes the nature of the activity (the less visible the
performance the more test for the leader as to what's
required to win) - some tasks could be clearly visible (eg.,
tower height), others might only be revealed at the end of
the whole activity (eg playing card sorting). Tasks don't all
need to be physical construction. Tasks can be varied,
including mental (eg puzzles) or creative (finding things out),
and they don't necessarily need to be done at the table
(teams might be required to go off in search of things in the
building - information, or obscure items, like a mini-treasure
hunt). The tables need only be the base points for each task,
where the leader gets the task instructions.
Prior to the activity you should brainstorm with the whole
group the relevant skills/aspects that will be useful in the
whole activity, eg: establishing who's good at what, timing,
resource planning, clear instructions, etc. Use these points
as a basis for review afterwards.
After the activity review with participants how they felt when
being delegated to do things - motivation, consultation,
participation, encouragement, clarity of instructions, style of
leadership, etc.

Also review experience of the leaders - what was difficult,
what could be improved, why some things are more difficult
to delegate than others.
Refer to the notes on delegation and issue these guidelines
before or after exercise.
maslow ads (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and
motivation)
In pairs or threes, or brainstorm with a whole group, ask for
examples of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs motivators in
advertising. Ask for explanations as well. You can issue
several glossy magazines and/or show videos, or simply ask
for examples. Here are some pointers:
1. Biological and Physiological needs - wife/child-
abuse help-lines, social security benefits, Samaritans,
roadside recovery.
2. Safety needs - home security products (alarms, etc),
house an contents insurance, life assurance, schools.
3. Belongingness and Love needs - dating and match-
making services, chat-lines, clubs and membership
societies, MacDonald, 'family' themes like the old style
Oxo stock cube ads.
4. Esteem needs - cosmetics, fast cars, home
improvements, furniture, fashion clothes, drinks,
lifestyle products and services.
5. Self-Actualization needs - Open University, and
that's about it; little else in mainstream media because
only 2% of population are self-actualizes, so they don't
constitute a very big part of the mainstream market.
organizational modelling (to prompt thought and
debate about organizational structure and
communications)
Split the group into threes or fours. Issue each team with a
good quantity of components from a particular toy

construction kit (Lego, Stickle Bricks, K'nex, or similar - each
team need not have the same as each other). The task for
each team is to create a model which represents the
organization that they work for, including other parts of the
organization relevant to service delivery or product
manufacture. The models require thought and discussion
about structure, relationships, departments, co-operation,
dependencies, isolation, etc., which can then be reviewed by
the whole group when complete. It's a very enjoyable
exercise, illuminating for all, and an ideal prompt to debate
and develop solutions for improving organizational
effectiveness, systems and communications.
agenda wall (barriers to team working)
This exercise illustrates the importance of having a clear
collective aim for any group, and how poorly a team or
organization functions when individuals (or teams within the
whole) have different aims within it. The parameters of the
exercise can easily be changed according to group numbers.
For large groups create pairs or threes to work together.
Issue the group a box of toy building blocks, such as Lego,
with various different bricks (colour, length, features, etc).
The group task is to build a wall of certain dimensions (you
as the facilitator state height and width according to time
and group numbers). Issue each group member (or pair or
threesome) with their own 'hidden agenda', which they must
keep secret and try to achieve. The hidden agendas can be
anything that conflicts with other hidden agendas, which will
create conflict while the main task of building the wall is
under way. Check that each hidden agenda is possible, albeit
at the expense of other agendas. Here are some examples of
hidden agendas to issue. It's easy to think of others when
you have all the bricks in front of you.
ensure there are three red bricks on each row
ensure no red brick touches a yellow one
ensure a blue brick touches a yellow brick on each row
ensure every row contains two yellow bricks

ensure there is a vertical line of touching white bricks,
one block wide, from top to bottom
ensure no row contains more than three different
coloured bricks
ensure one row contains only single blocks (no doubles
or trebles etc)
ensure every row contains at least one double-block
brick
(Adapted from a suggestion by Ruth Fradenburg)
fun and games with video (for team building and any
other subjects)
Video is a great team building and training medium if you
use it creatively - not off-the-shelf stuff which rarely works
for specific situations. Instead use home-recorded video to
provide you with unlimited interesting subject matter for
exercises, role-plays and reviews, it's much more fun.
For instance - record on video some scenes with a suitable
number of characters (relative to your team sizes) from
famous TV soaps (especially amusing ones with amusing
characters). Then have two teams recreate the scene(s)
incorporating your own key messages or products.
Alternatively have the teams critique the behaviour
according to the theme or message of your session.
Using brainstorming before a review or critique session is a
great way to establish a common approach and
understanding towards the points for review and why. This
saves you as the facilitator having to do a lot of detailed
preparation on the points to review - get the team doing it
instead as they'll learn more that way. A proforma tool which
will help you and the team establish and then refer to the
points for review is available by email free here.
Also, video some TV adverts (good and bad) and have each
team critique them, brainstorm first the points you want to
look for and review, eg., the AIDCA format (see acronyms),

image, style, relevance to target audience, likely
effectiveness or otherwise, 'feel', etc.
Also, video some scenes from the TV show 'The Office' or
another show featuring inept workplace behaviour (the
funnier and worse the better) and have teams critique the
behaviour from different aspects, eg Action Centered
Leadership, Tannenbaum and Schmidt, motivation (eg.
XY/Herzberg) leadership, culture, quality, Emotional
Intelligence (EQ), Transactional Analysis, etc.
Make sure you establish the review points and then use a
review sheet to focus on, to manage and get the best out of
the review or critique session.
Using video in this way creates a lot of fun and interest for
any team building or training session - there's so much you
can do with this approach, and it's simple and very
inexpensive.
variables and values (negotiation game)
Two teams - have each team identify as many tradable
variables (concessions - real and perceived) that exist within
your product/service offering. You can extent the exercise by
asking the teams next to give real and perceived values to
each concession. Also to identify actual costs to your
organization for each. You can award a prize to the member
of each member of the winning team, and maybe a special
prize to whoever thinks up the best variable with the lowest
cost and highest perceived value.
sweet traders (negotiation game)
Teams of three - each given an equal amount (as many as
you like) of at least six different types of sweets and/or
chocolate snack bars - wrapped preferable or things get a bit
sticky - each type of sweet has a value (eg 1pt, 2 pts, 3 pts,
4 pts, etc.). Devise a complicated scoring system -
something that really makes people think and has many
different possible winning combinations, Eg., bonus points
for sets of all one sort. Bonus points for collections

containing one of each, two of each, three of each, etc.,
bonus points for biggest collection compared to other teams,
etc. Teams must trade with each other to collect the highest
value collection. The purpose is to illustrate need for
planning and trading, and continual search for new ideas and
agreements. See how enthusiastically people plan and how
actively they trade - imagine if this dynamism were applied
to business.... (Eating the sweets during the exercise is
strictly forbidden and carries a penalty of 1 million points)
pit (negotiation game, team building, or for warm-
ups, ice-breakers)
The trading card game - based on collecting a set of the
same sort of cards - normally based on the commodities
exchange - wheat, barley, rye etc., If you can get hold of the
game itself do try it, instead but you can base the game
cards on anything, even your own products. Cards need plain
backs so value/type can be hidden during trading.
Individuals or teams of three (better). You need 8-12 cards of
as many types as there are teams or individuals (Eg if you
have six teams, you'll need six sets of cards, say ten of each
= 60 cards total). The game needs at least five separate
playing individuals or teams. Shuffle cards and distribute
evenly. Players swap cards 'blind' (by shouting how many
they wish to swap - not showing or revealing what type of
cards they wish to swap or acquire) - equal quantities of the
same sort of card for each trade, which produces chaotic and
enjoyable trading as players hold cards aloft shouting 'two,
two,' or 'three, three', etc, (being the number of cards they
are wishing to swap). Winner is first team to collect all same
cards. Illustrates principle of trading, rather than simply
giving away (concessions, discounts, etc). Also demonstrates
enthusiasm and determination, which hopefully can be
applied to business. Large teams will need leaders, and so
can be used as a leadership development exercise, including
the need for planning, checking and communication. Teams
will sometimes cheat - swapping cards of mixed varieties -
which is technically not allowed, but the strcitness of this
rule is up to the facilitator. Use this point also to illustrate

importance of integrity - teams and players will be reluctant
to trade with people who cheat. Also, cheating in this game
can create a cliamte in which other teams begin to cheat as
well, with chaotic results.

bop it (communications, team building, warm-ups,
etc)
'Bop-it Extreme' is a terrific hand-

held game that was primarily
designed as a children's toy, but
it's great fun and extremely
challenging for grown-ups too.
You hold it like a steering wheel
and wait for the robotic voice to
shout instructions, to 'flick it',
'twist it', 'spin it', 'pull it', or 'bop
it', while a rhythmic drum beat
marks the time allowed. If you get
it wrong or are late, it tells you
how many times you got it right -
it speeds up so the challenge
never ends.
Bop-it Extreme is great for team
warm-ups, and for contests
between individuals or teams, and
for demonstrating how the brain
doesn't always do what you want
it to, especially under pressure.
It's available from any big toystore
and various online suppliers. Cost
around 20 or $30. It's utterly
addictive so beware...
bidding game
Announce to two or more people that you will auction a 20
note to the highest bidder. The only rule is that the
unsuccessful lowest bidder will have to pay you their bid.
The bidders will start off low - maybe at just a penny or two.
As they progress higher the awful trap starts to emerge - but
there is nothing they can do about it: no-one wants to lose
and have to pay a few pounds and watch someone else get

the prize for a lot less than it's worth. And so it goes.
Eventually you see (if they haven't run away) the ludicrous
spectacle of people bidding higher than the face value of the
note. Of course, the only winning first bid (and this is a good
lesson on greed in any aspect of life) is 19.99... (thanks
Rupert Stubbs)
silent touch (listening skills, communications)
If you want something a bit different, here's a great quick
one for highlighting and developing non-verbal awareness.
Each delegate does this in turn:
One person (the 'touchee') stands against a wall facing it.
The rest of the group, one by one, walks up to the person,
places a hand on their shoulder and says their name (the
toucher's name not the touchee). The person being touched
must not look around to see the toucher. Then repeat the
exercise using a different order for the touchers, this time
without saying their names (you may need to point to
people to control the order).
The person being touched has to use their various senses
more acutely to guess the identity of each toucher (the 'feel'
of the shoulder-touch, maybe smell, the sound of the
approach, etc.)
You must explain to the whole group the whole exercise
before it starts. You must instruct everyone not to disguise
the spoken touch or the silent touch. The 'winner' is the
person who guesses most of the silent touches, which means
you need to keep a tally of each 'touchee's' correct silent
guesses.
Review and discuss only after everyone has had their turn as
the 'touchee', otherwise clues will surface and benefit the
later touchees. When reviewing you can refer people to brain
types and styles, and particularly right-side brain strengths,
which generally enable greater sensitivity and awareness for
this type of exercise. See the Benziger theory. (Thanks Chris
Baker)

nail puzzle (team building, problem solving, lateral
thinking)
This fantastic puzzle makes a great quick warm-up or teaser
for a whole group or for teams to solve. Details on the
puzzles page. Also a great puzzle for reinforcing any idea or
training that involves a theme of 'nailing' something or
'hitting the nail on the head' - ie emphasising the need to be
very specific.
memory exercises (team building, questioning,
information gathering)
Show a picture for a minute with lots going on in it - big
comic book cartoons are ideal - and then ask different
questions about what was in the picture (eg what animal was
to the left of the camel?, what colour was the teacher's tie?,
etc). A great variation on this is to have each team to think
of a certain number of questions to ask the other teams.
Teams get points for correct answers and for other teams
failing to answer.
Put about 20-30 household items on a tray and let people
memorise them for a minute, then have them jot down all
they can remember within a time-limit, say 5 minutes.
Draw some geometric/coloured shapes and do the same as
above.
Do the same with long numbers.
speed games (team building, mental ability)
Traditional games 'speed versions' - time-limit draughts
(chequers) - points for pieces captured, speed chess - the
winner is one to achieve check-mate or take most pieces
(different pieces are worth different points) within a time
limit. 'Connect-4' and 'Mastermind' colour or number
versions work well too. These are all great mental challenge
games that can be played by individuals or teams, and
against the clock if you introduce a suitable scoring system.

sycamore seed game (creativity, team building,
problem solving)
Design and demonstrate a 'wing' or 'spinner' which stays in
the air for the longest time when dropped from a specified
height (a sycamore seed is a great example to show after
the exercise to demonstrate a lateral thinking approach).
Issue just a small sheet of paper. Teams of three or pairs are
best.
Alternative version is to make a paper aeroplane which
glides the furthest from a specified height, with or without
push start (depends on room size). Time allowed can be as
little as 3 minutes, but it's better with 10-15 so that it brings
in a planning element.
the paper girder (team building, planning, organizing,
creativity, problem solving)
Using one sheet of A4 paper and an item issued for a weight
(eg a small coin), make the longest horizontal extension from
the edge of the table, to support a paper-clip at its end
(attached or hung within the final inch of the end of the
girder). The measurement will be the horizontal distance
from the tip of the girder to the table edge. Scissors, knives
or moistening the paper are not allowed. Teams of three are
ideal. Again, time allowed can be as little as 3 minutes, but
it's better with 10-15 mins to bring in a planning element.
playing card sorting (team building, planning,
organizing, creativity, problem solving)
Issue one, two or even three packs of cards to each team
(teams of three best). Mix up all the cards in each team's
pack(s). Aim is to sort into packs and suits fastest (display
face up on table). Be aware that if packs are of different
designs you will need to state whether these need sorting
too, which obviously increases difficulty. Teams of three and
upwards. Great for organization, especially if large team
sizes are possible.
bigger team building games and exercises

clay islands (team-building, team-working, planning,
negotiation inter-personal skills, creativity,
problem-solving and more)
A wonderful hands-on team exercise that takes people way
outside their normal work comfort zones. It's always
different, is full of learning and development, and always a
lot of fun. Group sizes of 6-8 people work well, 8 is ideal.
Smaller group sizes of 3-5 will work, but produce less team
dynamics and inter-action than with larger groups. It's best
with three or more groups, but possible with two. Issue each
team with a football-sized lump of clay (the type used for
making pottery, available from craft and educational
suppliers), and a suitable flat board or tray on which to work.
Clay modelling implements are optional.
The task for each group is to create an island, which the
groups themselves are to imagine they inhabit, which they
will model with the clay. Instruct the groups that for the first
two parts of the exercise the members within each group are
to not allowed to speak to each other. Give 10 minutes for
the first two 'silent' parts of the exercise:
1. Ask the groups to create the geographical features of
the island e.g. cliffs, rivers, inlets/harbours, mountains
etc.
2. Ask them to create shelter for themselves individually
eg., a house, a cave, a mansion, a hut.
After these two activities have been done in silence, allow
the members of each group to speak within their own group
while creating their own island 'community', which can be
scheduled to go on for 15-30 minutes. Suggest elements
that need to be discussed and established as to how their
island operates and what constitutes the 'community' (some
of which may be modeled, others not) such as health care,
education, commerce, defence, food production, transport,
infrastructure, governing structure, decision-making process,
etc - all to be discussed and developed by the group. The
group is of course the 'ruling council' for their own island,

and they have the opportunity to define how they will work
together, including issues of leadership and decision-making,
etc.
Observing all of this experiential development produces
excellent data for review afterwards with the group, and is
particularly useful for training and development concerning
gender, leadership styles, decision-making, personality
types, team-working, etc.
After a further 15-30 minutes tell them there are other
islands (they'll probably know of course, but hitherto will not
have given a thought to any islands other than their own).
Tell them that they are not obliged or required to do anything
about the other islands - it's up to each group what they do.
Typically the groups will want to take action of some sort,
whether to trade, attack, make friends - whatever.
Again this leads to all kinds of experiences within the group
and between groups, which should be noted by the
facilitator(s) for use later in the review.
The exercise needs to be given a finish time or it could go on
indefinitely. There is no winner and no stipulated objectives
for individuals, groups, islands - it's meant to be very open,
which enables the relationships, cultures, systems and
styles, etc., to develop very freely.
The review can be conducted in various ways - group
presentations, individual presentations, group discussion,
personal experiences 'felt' by people; focus on certain
headings: leadership, decision-making, communications
within and outside of the island groups, good planning, bad
planning, issues of morality and integrity, island cultures; the
list obviously is very long, and the extent to which groups
are focused on these issues before and during the exercise is
flexible and up to the facilitator.
Using clay is messy, so make sure people have aprons and
somewhere to wash. The use of such an unusual material
provides excellent motivation and interest - working with
clay is a very 'earthy' and basic activity and people do not

often have the chance to play with it. It does add another
dimension.
This exercise works particularly well as an evening activity
on a residential course.
As a guide, allow at least an hour for the exercise and 30
minutes for the review - obviously longer if it involves
presentations. Typically younger people take less time, but
whoever is doing it, if the exercise is providing useful
learning experience keep it going.
The facilitator should look especially for the development of
relationships in the island communities, and how these affect
the relationships between the islands. Leaders and styles
emerge, which can all be discussed in the review.
The exercise can be used with all ages and in all situations,
whether for, business, organizational, educational, or
behavioural development.
(Ack Judith Jenner)

mini-business project game
Games activities with a real ongoing business purpose - like
the website challenge below - are ideal for training and
developing people over a period of a few weeks or months.
The focus should be the products/services that the company
offers or are within strategic intention/capability to do so.
Using a series of mini-business projects as a basis for the
'games' gives the organization some serious business-
related output, as well as developing the delegates'
behaviour and skills (creativity, research, planning, finance,
negotiation, selling, design, contracts, buying, management,
etc). This type of project based activity also develops a
strong feeling of involvement and responsibility among the
delegates. As an alternative to creating a new website
business , which is an exciting project for most people (see
the website challenge below), delegates can instead be
tasked to establish a new distributor or retail outlet, or a new
product line, as a basis for the 'game' activity. The 'game' is
essentially to conceptualise and then implement a mini NPD
or new business project. Mentoring, coaching, liaison with
other departments are important support elements during
project set-up and as the projects unfold. There are also
potentially big additional benefits for the organization in
building bridges between interested departments -
marketing, finance, IT, etc - while parameters are
established and projects develop. Terms of reference need to
be clearly agreed, and adequate consultation and approvals
are essential. The business and training benefits can be
huge.
website challenge (team building, creativity,
commercial skills, financial skills, planning and
organizing, technology, presentation,
communicating, etc)
Needs to run over several weeks or months. Great for inter-
departmental or regional competition. Challenge is for the
teams to each set up a real website and achieve the highest
traffic to beat the other teams (need to issue some money or

allocate a budget - not much - you don't need much for this -
and need to establish clear parameters). You can introduce
lots of variations and complexities depending on how far you
want to take it. You can stipulate the product/service area or
leave as open as you wish.
stranded - the team building survival game
You can use this type of exercise with various scenarios for
teams/groups of between 3 and 15 people: desert island,
jungle, etc. It's also great to use in group selections for
recruiting staff, when the interviewing panel observe the
efforts, abilities and attitudes of the participants.
Here's a mountain survival scenario exercise. It's a very
flexible theme provided you avoid the requirement to
establish a definitive correct list of items - there's no
definitive 'right answer'; there are other reasons for this too.
It's best not to have a definitive list of items as
recommended by experts - what's important is for the group
to see the benefit of group discussion and collective
expertise, experience and input, which produces a generally
accepted better list of items than anyone's individual list.
The risk in referring to a supposed definitive 'right answer'
list is that:
it focuses too much attention on the outcome rather
than the process,
it causes participants to guess what they think the
facilitator thinks, as if it's a trick question, and
it can undermine the credibility of the exercise and the
facilitator when inevitably someone in the group, or
worse still, the entire group disagrees with the 'right
answer', as is likely with any hypothetical scenario.
Position the exercise like this:
After your small light aircraft crashes, your group, wearing
business/leisure clothing, is stranded on a forested mountain
in appalling winter weather (snow covered, sub-freezing

conditions), anything between 50 and 200 miles from
civilisation (you are not sure of your whereabouts, and radio
contact was lost one hour before you crashed, so the search
operation has no precise idea of your location either). The
plane is about to burst into flames and you have a few
moments to gather some items. Aside from the clothes you
are wearing which does not include coats, you have no other
items. It is possible that you may be within mobile phone
signal range, but unlikely.
(Other than these facts, he session facilitator may clarify
particular questions from the group(s) as to details of the
circumstances and the environment, and these details
remain constant for the duration of the exercise. Other
details may simply not be known - it's at the facilitator's
discretion.)
Your (the group's) aim is to survive as a group until rescued.
From the following list choose just ten items that you would
take from the plane, after which it and everything inside is
destroyed by fire. First you have five-ten minutes (flexible,
this is up to the facilitator) by yourself to consider and draw
up your own individual list of what the team should have,
without consulting with other members of the group. Retain
this list after presenting it briefly to the group. Then you
have 30-45 minutes (up to the facilitator) as a group to
discuss and agree a list on behalf of the group. Nominate a
spokesperson and present this new list.
With the facilitator's help, the group(s) afterwards then
reviews the benefits of discussion, teamwork, collective
expertise, group communication skills, etc., in the team
approach to compiling the list, compared to each individual
working alone to establish a list, and obviously why the team
list is likely to be better than each of the individual lists.
Choose ten from the following - splitting or only taking part
of items is not permitted (again the list and number of
permitted items is flexible to suit the facilitators and
situation requirements. This is a long list and will provoke an

enormous amount of debate. To run a quicker exercise
definitely reduce the list or delegates will feel rushed.)
Pack of 6 boxes x 50 matches.
Roll of polythene sheeting 3m x 2m
1 crate of beer (12 litres in total)
1 bottle of brandy
1 crate of bottled spring water (twelve litres in total)
Small toolbox containing hammer, screwdriver set,
adjustable wrench, hacksaw and large pen-knife.
Box of distress signal flares.
Small basic first-aid kit containing plasters, bandages,
antiseptic ointment, small pair of scissors and pain-
killer tablets.
Tri-band mobile phone with infrared port and battery
half-charged.
Clockwork transistor radio.
Gallon container full of fresh water.
Box of 36 x 50gm chocolate bars.
Shovel.
Short hand-held axe.
Hand-gun with magazine of 20 rounds.
20m of 200kg nylon rope.
Box of 24 x 20gm bags of peanuts.
Bag of 10 mixed daily newspapers.
Box of tissues.
Bag of 20 fresh apples.

Electronic calculator.
Laptop computer with infrared port, modem, unknown
software and data, and unknown battery life.
Inflatable 4-person life-raft.
Compass.
Large full Aerosol can of insect killer spray.
Small half-full aerosol can of air freshener spray.
Notebook and pencil.
Box of size 8 women's promotional pink 'Barbie'
branded fleece-lined track-suits (quantity is half of each
team/group size).
Gift hamper containing half-bottle champagne, large tin
of luxury biscuits, box of 6 mince pies, 50gm tin of
caviar without a ring-pull, a 300gm tin of ham without a
ring-pull, and a 500gm christmas pudding.
Travelling games compendium containing chess,
backgammon and draughts.
Sewing kit.
Whistle.
Torch with a set of spare batteries.
Box of 50 night-light 6hr candles.
Bag of 6 large blankets.
cotton reel cars (team building, planning, organizing,
creativity)
Teams need an hour or two to do this justice, so it's great for
an evening exercise when there's an overnight stay. Give
each team a set of materials - the more the better within
reason (the exercise becomes more complex and longer
lasting with more materials). Materials could be anything

that could be used to make a small car - for example: shoe
box or egg box, wooden kebab skewers, sticky tape, stapler,
some wheels - from Lego or Meccano or cotton reels, plus
the basic drive-unit components, (ie at least one cotton reel,
a couple of matchsticks and at least one rubber band - and if
you don't know how to make a cotton-reel 'tank' see the
exercise below). The objective is to build a self-propelled
(rubber-band-powered) car that goes fastest, or covers the
greatest distance, or both - it's up to the facilitator. The
exercise climaxes with a race/competition in the bar in the
evening. (The exercise has the feel of Robot Wars or
Scrapheap Challenge, if you've seen either on the TV.)
A variation on this theme is simply to issue each team with a
box of mixed vegetables - fresh not frozen please - (eg.,
cucumber is good for a chassis; sliced carrots make
reasonable wheels) and some cocktail sticks, and there
being no obvious vegetable-based drive-unit, each vegetable
car must be launched from a slope. The furthest distance is
the winner.
cotton reel tanks (team building, planning,
organizing, creativity)
You may remember making these as a child. This is a great
exercise for teams of three or pairs, competing against each
other.
Materials required per team - 1 cotton reel, any size over
about 3 cms diameter and 3 cms length. 1 rubber band the
same length (cut and tied if necessary) as the cotton reel. At
least two match sticks (or cocktail sticks or wooden
barbecue skewers). A wax crayon or candle. Sellotape or
stapler.
Construction - Thread the rubber band through the reel and
anchor the loop around a stick, which must be cut so as not
to protrude wider than the edge of the reel. Fix the stick in
place to the end of the reel with a staple or Sellotape. Cover
the opposite end of the reel and inside the edge of the hole
with plenty of wax for lubrication. Insert a second stick,

which should be at least an inch - better 2-3 inches - longer
than the diameter of the end of the reel, though the loop of
the rubber band and then 'wind up' the rubber band using
the stick, until it is pulled flat against the waxed end of the
reel. Put the reel on the floor and watch it go... slowly. Then
spend the next twenty years trying to find the perfect
specification!
Some people cut notches in the rims of the reels to create a
cog effect for better grip. Different lengths and thicknesses
of rubber bands are an important variable affecting
performance and stability. Wax is essential - it won't work
without it. The type and length of stick - other than the one
used at the fixed end - also affects performance.
The challenge can be a race, distance travelled or obstacle
course, whatever you like. As the facilitator, ensure you
practice it first and establish clear rules about the aim (what
the tanks have to do when they've been made) and the
quantity of materials available.
design a game (creativity, team building)
One of the best activities (and particularly to develop
problem-solving/analytical skills) is to actually set the group
the task of designing the activities or games themselves. You
can mix it up any way you want, for example, split group into
syndicates of threes and give them different games or
activities to design (communications, team building,
problem-solving etc), which all syndicates will then have to
do. Ensure everyone understands the criteria for designing
development activities - brainstorm them to establish clear
understanding of the aims and parameters with the group is
a good starting point. These main criteria can then act as the
assessment criteria for each syndicate to assess the activity
designs of their peers. To add extra interest and fun you can
give each of the groups some props and limit their designs to
using the props, eg paper, scissors, string, dice, building
bricks, some newspapers and magazines, cotton-reels, a
bucket of water or two, blindfolds, foreign language
dictionary, video cameras, anything. Introduce other rules

and constraints - must be outdoors/indoors, must be a ten
minute exercise, 20 minutes, whatever.
treasure hunts (team building, determination,
organizing, problem solving)
There's no better activity for team building than a well-
planned 'treasure hunt'.
Treasure hunts can be based on solving clues or finding
things, or a mixture. Teams have a set amount of time to
collect a list of items from the hotel/office complex/local
vicinity - eg a restaurant menu with a fish dish on it, a box of
matches with a phone number with a seven in it, an acorn, a
brochure with a yacht in it, a sports programme with green
grass pictured in it, etc etc. This is fantastic fun and a
supreme leveller. Obviously ensure participants are warned
not to do anything illegal or anti-social. Great for evening
exercises for overnight stays.
If you are planning a big event for more than twenty people
or so, it's essential that the facilitator goes to the location in
advance, so that you can sort out the clues and the route
and ensure it all works. It's easy when you're there. It's
possible to think up a certain amount remotely, but the best
clues will be specific local ones - that you must be able to
rely on - something of this scale must be planned and tested
at the location.
Do some basic preparation remotely before you go there
(start point, finish venue, rough area and route) and then
spend a day there to find/create the specifics, design the
whole thing, and be sure that it will all work in practice.
Logistics (getting people from A to B) and timings (how long
will it take the first and last to complete) are crucial.
Timings are always difficult to predict - be aware that tourist
venues are very busy in the Summer, which will affect how
quickly people can complete it and the ease with people can
all meet up along the way and at the finish.

If it's an overnight event, how you design the event will also
depend on where you're all staying and what you want to do
before and after the treasure hunt. Ideally you don't want to
have to worry about bussing people to and from the hunt, so
ideally people should be staying where the hunt is and all
together. If it's for the evening avoid any necessity for car-
driving - it's too risky - on foot is much more fun, people can
walk for miles without complaining provided there's not too
far between stops for clues - the exercise helps too - maybe
have them catch a bus at most, but no driving at night.
The local tourist information office and library are always a
useful reference points for ideas about a basic route, best
area, plus contact numbers etc. If you're happy with drinking
and can trust people not to be daft than basing the treasure
hunt on pubs works well - pubs will offer good potential for
clues, a route and lots of fun, subject to your view on alcohol
playing a part.
Definitely plan an organized gathering for the end of the
treasure hunt where you can give prizes and relax as a
group, particularly if the treasure hunt is in the evening. The
finish venue needs to be reliable and under your control -
you don't want everyone to be finally meeting up amongst
hundreds of strangers.
For a large group of people it's best to have a few marshals
along the route to help the lost and tardy.
Teams of four, five, or six at most, work best - the bigger the
team the quicker they solve the clues, although teams of
seven would be too big and result in one or two being left
out. Teams of five sounds are good.
Think about your team building priorities - if it's to improve
inter-departmental team-working then create inter-
departmental teams; if you want to build stronger
relationships within departments create departmental
teams. If you've got gender, race or hierarchy barriers to
break down, mix the teams accordingly.

Try to mix the clues so they require different skills and
knowledge, which will enable everyone in each team to shine
- some clues very cryptic, some require observation, some
historical, some technical, some mathematical, some
requiring good persuasive or investigative skills, and always
preferably with a local location reference/ingredient.
Whatever you do, remember planning is vital.
mime act (creativity, team building, organizing,
presentation skills, and lots more)
Groups have a set time to get/make costumes and mime a
performance of a song, especially something with theatrical
potential like Bohemian Rhapsody, or Stairway To Heaven -
the more extravagant or camp the better - props can be
begged borrowed or otherwise purloined, and the whole
thing climaxes with a show when each group performs their
mime act. Fantastic leveller, great fun, normally hilarious.
Great to video and enjoy afterwards. House rules are
absolutely necessary to avoid serious inconvenience to hotel
or conference centre.
sports challenge series (team building, organizing,
determination, physical ability, and lots more)
Each team can nominate a sport or game (in local house
rules) in which it challenges the other teams. Agree a
common weighted scoring system and run it like a weekly or
monthly league. Be very careful and clear on the rules and
scoring. Sports can be anything from softball on the park to
chess and stud poker. League updates and prizes and
trophies increase the buzz.
communication corridor (team building,
communicating, physical activity, problem solving,
listening skills and more)
Here's a great one for a conference warm-up. Great for
communications too. Have two rooms with a corridor
separating them - the further away the better. Teams of
three. Each team has a 'builder' with a set of building bricks

or a construction kit in each room, and a runner between the
rooms. In only one room do the builders have the
instructions for what they're building. As they build, the
runners have to run and explain to the other builder in the
other room what is being built and how. Winning team is first
with a correctly assembled construction in each room.
problem-solving tasks
Get the book on lateral thinking puzzles featured on this
website at the businessballs online bookshop page. In it
you'll find loads of really great lateral thinking problems you
can use - ideally for syndicates of three - give them four or
five at a time.
problem solving treasure hunt
Give teams of three a list of challenges and a timescale -
anything from an hour to a week or two - even a month,
depending on complexity and type of problem. Great for
overnight stays, and can be integrated with normal treasure
hunt for obscure items. Examples of challenges: Translate a
passage of writing or verse from an obscure foreign
language into English; Negotiate the best possible deal for
the whole group to visit somewhere interesting and maybe a
bit exclusive - a sports event, the opera, the zoo, etc. (Need
to clarify house rules on dates timings etc, and that the
booking should be provisional.); give them a real problem
from your own organization; give them a real problem from
the local council or from the newspapers.
the 'in-tray' time management exercise (time
management, decision making, delegation)
Issue the teams (or have them bring) a typical in-tray of
correspondence. Their task is to decide how and when to
deal with each, and then to present their answers to the
group. Get the group to observe and critique the answers.
Things to look out for:

First assess all items and prioritise them (most won't do
this, they'll just deal with them in the order they
appear)
Treat urgent items differently from important ones
(most think they're the same)
Only handling each item once (ie procrastination or
deferring is a no-no)
Opportunities to delegate (tips on the businessballs
delegation page)
Decision-making (tips on the businessballs decision-
making page)
Communication method and style in responding to
memos, requests, complaints etc (most spend too long
writing too much - hand-written notes often suffice -
email is useful - but recognise potential major hazards
and make/agree time to deal with them properly)
Avoiding making unnecessary work for oneself (most
make mountains out of molehills)
Using the phone to deal with sensitive
communications/relationships issues (most are
frightened, so write or delay, which costs more time
and problems)
Saying No when called for, and justifying why it's No.
Make sure the sample in-tray material is a good mix of
issues, otherwise there's no challenge and people won't see
the need for different responses. If you can't be sure that
people will bring suitable material provide it yourself. Best of
all is to get your hands on copies of someone's in-tray who is
forever complaining he/she's got no time.
newspaper towers (team building, planning,
organizing, problem solving, time management,
creativity, lateral thinking)

Lots of variations to this one. Adjust to suit group and time
available.
Basic exercise:
Split group into pairs or threes (four or more will create
'passengers', who don't get involved). Issue each group an
equal given of newspaper sheets (the fewer the more
difficult, 20-30 sheets is fine for a 10-15 minute exercise),
and a roll of Sellotape (Scotch tape in the US). Task is to
construct the tallest free-standing tower made only of
newspaper and Sellotape in allotted time. Point of the
exercise is to demonstrate importance of planning (time,
method of construction, creativity), and the motivational
effect of a team task. Facilitator will need tape measure.
Instructions need to be very clear (for instance does tower
have to be free standing at completion of time, or can it be
measured before - it doesn't matter which, it matters only
that any issues affecting a clear result are clarified.
newspaper bridge (team building, planning,
organizing, problem solving, time management,
creativity, lateral thinking)
Again, lots of variations to this. Great for reinforcing
communications, support, interdepartmental co-operation
themes. In teams (threes are best; teams of four or five can
create 'passengers' unless you brief clearly for everyone to
be involved and/or have each team appoint a team leader)
using only the newspaper and Sellotape (alternatively known
as scotch tape) issued, each team must construct a bridge,
including floor-standing supports at each end and a
horizontal span. The winning construction will be the one
with the longest span between two floor-standing supports. If
any additional floor-standing support is created, qualifying
span measurement will be the longest length between any
two of the floor-standing supports. There must be at least
(say) 20cms clearance between the span and the floor. Any
of the span lower than 20cms clearance will not count
towards the measurement. The span must support certain
objects issued (eg apple, chocolate bar, can of drink -

consumable items are more fun) which must be placed (not
fixed with Sellotape) on the span. The objects can be
positioned anywhere along the length of the span, but must
not touch the floor-standing supports. The floor-standing
supports must be free-standing, ie not attached to the floor
or any other object or surface. The use of Sellotape as 'guys'
from the bridge to the floor or another object or surface is
not allowed. Time allowed for planning and building and
placing objects on the span is say 20 (max 45) minutes.
Variations to tower and bridge games:
Tower must support an object (eg a lemon, book, brick,
plastic beaker of water, etc). Measurement is taken to height
of supported object. If you issue an object to be supported at
the top of a tower consider the well-being of the flooring and
furniture. Beware safety and mess implications of certain
objects, so avoid cups of coffee, glasses, etc.
Build a newspaper and tape bridge between two tables, to
support the greatest weight (number of given objects).
Build the highest platform to support a person's weight,
using only newspaper and tape - make sure there's plenty of
newspaper for this version, ie, three big newspapers for each
team. (Bear in mind that a platform is still a platform if it's
only an inch high, although platforms of a few inches are
perfectly feasible.)
Build the longest horizontal pier from a table top, supported
with newspaper struts or not.
tips on newspaper constructions exercises
You can allocate as many sheets as you wish, although it
really depends chiefly on the main purpose of the exercise,
and then to an extent the duration and how many team
members per team. As a general rule - the fewer the sheets
the smaller the teams and the shorter the exercise. Lots of
sheets and big teams require longer. Short timescales, big
teams, lots of sheets = lots of chaos - which is ideal for
demonstrating the need for leadership and management.

Unless the purpose is leadership and managing the planning
stage, avoid small numbers of sheets with large teams.
Small teams don't need lots of sheets unless you make a rule
to use all materials in order to put pressure on the planning
and design stage. Examples of main purposes and numbers
of sheets:
Very strong emphasis on preparation and design - 1-5
sheets - in pairs or threes.
Design, planning, preparation, team-working - 5-10
sheets - in threes or fours.
Team building, time-management, warm up, ice-
breaker, with some chaos-management - 20 sheets - in
fours, fives or sixes.
Managing a lot of chaos - 30 sheets and upwards -
teams of six or more.
News paper construction exercises are terrifically flexible
and useful. When you decide the activity purpose and rules,
the important thing is to issue the same quantity of
materials to each team.
other tips for newspaper construction activities
Building tips: It doesn't matter how big the sheets are,
but big double pages offer the greatest scope for the
towers.
Think about how much paper is issued as it changes the
type of challenge: lots of paper makes it much easier
and places less emphasis on planning. Very few sheets,
or even just one sheet, increases the requirement for
planning.
The main trick for the bridge and tower exercises (don't
tell the delegates before the exercise) is to make long
thin round-section struts, by rolling the sheets and
fixing with sticky tape - Sellotape or scotch tape, or
narrow masking tape instead. The struts can then be
connected using various techniques, rather like girders.

The same construction approach works well for the
bridge too.
Round struts (tubes), and any other design of struts or
sections, lose virtually all their strength if flattened or
bent.
Very few newspaper exercise builders understand this
fundamental point, and some fail to realise it even after
completing the exercise, so it's worth pointing out
during the review.
Square sections are not very strong. Triangular or
circular sections work best, although the former are
difficult to make.
It's possible to make a very tall tower (8-10 feet) using
a telescopic design, which requires many sheets to be
stuck together end-to-end, rolling together and then
pulling out from the centre.
Most people make the mistake of forming big square
section lengths or spans, which are inherently very
weak and unstable. This is why the newspaper
constructions are such good exercises - each one needs
thinking about and planning and testing or people fall
into traps and make simple mistakes.
The strongest design for weight-bearing is 'building
blocks' of hexagonal tubes (six sides). This is the shape
that naturally results if lots of circular tubes are
compressed sideways together, and it's also the shape
found in nature's beehive construction. Hexagonal
tubes are difficult to make though and it's unlikely that
people will think to do it. It's useful to make up a few
samples to demonstrate in the review how strong the
hexagonal construction is.
Less strong, but quicker is to make is lots of short rolled
circular tubes, up to six inches high - make sure there's
enough paper for the teams when using the human
weight-bearing platform exercise.

Grouping the tubes together, stood on their ends and
placing sufficient sheets on top to spread the person's
weight usually is the easiest way to complete this
exercise to a winning standard.
Alternatively, roll up lots of solid cylinders, again a few
inches long. Grouped and fixed together on their ends
these make an immensely strong platform.
The best way of finding answers is to try it - you should
be doing that anyway if you are facilitating and running
the session - you'll be amazed at how strong paper can
be if it's folded and/or rolled and assembled with a bit
of thought.
The weight bearing platform will only be a few inches
high - we're not expecting to get someone up to the
ceiling.
If all else fails, if you think about it, at it's simplest a
team member could simply stand on all of their allotted
sheets of paper. It'll only be a few millimetres high, but
it's still a platform.
All of these exercises are generally tackled best by
making the 'building block' elements, whether struts or
tubes or any other shapes. And this emphasises one of
the big lessons from the exercises - planning, and
testing (time and materials permitting) are essential.

juggling (right-side brain, warm-up, team building,
physical activity and lots more)
Juggling is a powerful warm-up and training aid. It's
extremely flexible for training and team building, from a 10
minute warm up to a continuous activity over a few days.
You'll need to learn the three-ball cascade first - it's easy -
just follow the juggling instructions on this site.
To use as a ten minute warm-up, give a summary of the
instructions, then issue juggling items. Loosely 5-10% of
people can already juggle, and others soon pick it up.
Emphasise that everyone can do it provided they go through
the proper learning process.
Short warm ups can also be done in pairs, using three balls
or bags (or lemons or potatoes depending on budget!). Pairs
can stand side by side or face to face, but should only use
one hand each. One person holds two and starts. The second
person throws their ball before catching the ball thrown by
their partner. And so on..
To use juggling as an activity to inter-weave with a training
course or workshop, break down the juggling instructions
and sessions to one ball, then two balls, then three balls.
Link to training themes as appropriate (lots of training
naturally breaks down into threes, so it fits well).
Use any existing jugglers in the group to help coach other
delegates, or issue them with four balls and have them learn
to juggle four (basically two balls in each hand, not crossing
hand to hand, thrown alternately), or issue them with clubs.
For more information about juggling four balls and clubs
please contact us.
Juggling equipment is expensive in the specialist retail
outlets, use trade sources instead. Typically you'll get 'Tri-its'
pyramid bean bags at 1.50 ($2) for three. Proper juggling
balls are more expensive, 3-5 ($4-7) for three, but the extra
cost is worth it if you want to print on them to reinforcing a
theme or brand, because people keep them. For details of

corporate juggling products, or specialised juggling
support/facilitation please contact us.
plate spinning (right-side brain, warm-up, team
building, physical activity and lots more)
Plate spinning is a great exercise for team building and for
warming up delegates for training sessions and conferences.
A plate spinning set comprises a plastic plate and a 'wand' -
a plastic rod with a point at one end. You can obtain these
from a juggling equipment trade supplier for about 1-2
($1.50-3.00) per set - shop around for the best deal and
contact us if you need help. It's easy to teach yourself, which
you must do before you try to teach others! It's possible to
pass a spinning plate from one person to another using the
wands, and this gives lots of possibilities for team races.
Plates, like juggling balls, can be branded to support themes,
training messages or product launches, etc. They're also
cheap enough to give away without denting the budget.
People will ask for spares for their kids, so make sure you
have plenty. Look at the how to spin a plate page for plate
spinning instructions.
diabolo (right-side brain, warm-up, team building,
The diabolo is another great street performer's skill that you
can use for team building and training activities. The diabolo
set comprises a diabolo 'reel' and two sticks, connected at
each end by a length of string. Expect to pay around 5-10
per set depending on the quality and size of diabolo. The
diabolo is easy to get started and then to do some basic
tricks - throwing up in the air and catching again for
instance, after which the diabolo requires quite a demanding
level of skill to progress to the more advanced tricks. For
instructions how to use and teach the diabolo look at the
diabolo instructions on this website.
devil stick (right-side brain, warm-up, team building,

The devil stick is a fantastic piece of equipment, again used
by street entertainers the world over. The devil stick set
comprises three parts: the devil stick itself, which is a
rounded wooden stick, about two feet long, two inches wide
at each end, with a taper from each end to a middle 'waist'
of about an inch diameter. The other parts are two wooden
dowel controlling rods, each sleeved with rubber for grip,
about a half-inch in diameter. For instructions how to use and
teach the devil stick look at the devil stick instructions on
this website.
yoyo (right-side brain, warm-up, team building,
Yoyos are cheap and easy, and great fun. The new style
clutch yoyos are now available for less than 1 or a dollar
due to over-production in the Far East, so shop around. Start
by teaching people how to position the string properly on the
yoyo and the finger, then simply making the yoyo go up and
down in a controlled way. Next increase difficulty to spinning
the yoyo on its clutch (the yoyo stays spinning at the bottom
of the string given a fast throw), and then graduate to tricks
like 'walking the dog'. Lots more tricks can be demonstrated
and taught if you have time. Most yoyos will have
instructions on the packaging - make sure you learn the
basics yourself before you try teaching others or using yoyos
in a warm-up or games activity.
levitron (team building, organizing, lateral thinking,
skills development)
The Levitron is without doubt one

of the most incredible toys ever
invented - it's a small precision
spinning-top that with the aid of a
repelling magnetic base and
special weights, actually stays
spinning suspended in mid-air, for
two or three minutes. And the
Levitron is all the more amazing

for the fact that hardly anyone
has ever heard about it. It was
launched about 1995, but has
never really achieved wide
distribution. The Levitron is a
great product for team games,
training and reinforcing concepts
about quality, accuracy, patience,
the brain, all sorts. For more
information about the Levitron
please contact us.
The use of levitron for team building games and business

exercises is restricted only by your imagination - here are
some ideas to get you started:
in pairs or teams of 3 - a race to spin first.
in teams of 4 or more - a race to spin first with each
team member only able to handle a stipulated
number of items (eg coloured washers, rubber
washer, wedges, the top itself, the perspex plate, the
base, etc) - a leader must be elected who allocates
responsibilities after a stipulated time to assess
abilities. Option to change responsibilities after
stipulated periods.
in pairs or teams of 3 - longest spin time competition
(increase team size and add responsibility
requirements as above.)
teams of 3 - use levitron instead of construction kits
with communication corridor exercise.
in teams of 3-5 - create the most spectacular levitron
tricks and demonstration using items and materials in
the training room.
in teams 3-5 - write a training plan to teach someone
how to use the levitron.

in teams of 5 - role-play the training plan with an
individual from the team who does not know how to
use it (1 trainee, plus all other team members to have
a training duty within the training plan).
in teams of 3 - play with the levitron then create an
advert for the levitron for the educational physics
market.
De-brief and review according to the exercises selected and
the local situation and people, abilities, training or team-
building purpose, etc. The best way to create a framework
for de-brief is to brainstorm the headings before the
exercise with the whole group - this also helps people get
the best out of the exercise, because they are aware of the
pointers.
Email your own games and ideas - we'd love to have them. If
you'd like help with team building games and other activities
for training and motivation please get in touch - email: ac at
alanchapman dot com.
If you like these team building activities, you'll find more
ideas for exercises, quizzes and games on these free pages:
amusing and fascinating origins of words, expressions
and cliches
word-play puzzles and games for quizzes and
exercises
stories and analogies for training, public-speaking
and writing
difficult puzzles for teams

puzzles, games, trivia questions and answers for
quizzes, team building activities, training and
motivation
free trivia questions, lateral thinking puzzles and
exercises - free answers too!
Games, tricks and puzzles help team building, motivation,
and warm up any gathering. These free trivia questions,
games and puzzles are great ice breakers for training
sessions, meetings, workshops, seminars or conferences.
Here are some great free trivia questions, puzzles, lateral
thinking puzzles, trick questions, number puzzles, logic
puzzles and word games, all which can be used for team
building exercises or party games. Email your own games,
tricks, puzzles, warm ups and exercises. See also the ditloids
puzzles page, the tough complex puzzles, the team building
games section for team building and employee motivation
ideas, and try the expressions derivations quiz on the words
and cliches origins section. Giving groups or teams a mixed
set of puzzles gets people working together and using each
other's strengths. These puzzles are great for games and
competitive team building exercises. Many of the puzzles
can be adapted, enlarged or shortened, or made easier by
turning into multiple-choice. Have fun, and try not to use
them all at once...
trivia questions and puzzles for quizzes and team
building games (puzzles answers here)
What was 'Sphairistike'? (The word is Greek, loosely meaning
'ball-game', and an earlier version was known by the French
as 'Jeu de Paume').
What icon of 20th century design was the Chapman Root
Glass Company of Indiana responsible for introducing in
1915?
What were the famous riders of these horses? - Bucephalos,
Black Bess, Arion, Copenhagen, Marengo, Babieca, Dapple
(an ass), Incitatus, Pegasus, Trigger, White Surrey, Midnight.

What twelve animals feature in Chinese astrology?
These seemingly unpronouncable sounds actually appear in
common English words; what are the three words? - sthm,
tchphr, tchst.
These very old iconic symbols were responsible for what
modern system? - the moon, the sun, the planet Saturn, and
the Anglo-Saxon gods: Thor, Tiw, Woden, and his wife Frig.
Cryptic anagram puzzles (the clues are in the questions):
dirty room
here come dots
lost cash in, me
alas, no more z's
I'm a dot in place
eleven plus two
A father took his son to hospital for emergency treatment
after an accident. The doctor greeted them, but on seeing
the boy, exclaimed, "I can't operate on him - he's my son!"
How can this be? (The son was not adopted, nor a step-son.)
The 'Frying Pan' was a 1931 prototype and early production
nickname for what item of electro-magnetic equipment?
What do these British people have in common? J S Lowry,
David Bowie, French and Saunders, Nigella Lawson, Vanessa
Redgrave, Albert Finney, Jon Snow, John le Carre, Aldous
Huxley, Roald Dahl, Evelyn Waugh and George Melly.
Lincoln's stunning 1955 Futura convertible concept car
appeared in motor shows to wide acclaim until 1959, when it
achieved greater notoriety, featuring the 1959 film 'It
Started With A Kiss' starring Glenn Ford and Debbie
Reynolds. The car later became even more famous for what
reason?

What is remarkable about this phrase? - Anger? 'Tis safe
never. Bar it. Use Love.
Name a common word with five consecutive vowels.
What morbid coincidence occured at 12 Curzon Place,
Mayfair, London?
Catholic bishops are allowed seven of them, priests five, and
ordinary people one; what are they?
Why do we say 'Bless you' to someone who has sneezed?
Whose secret ingredient is code-named 7X?
Why did so many sailors have a crucifix tattooed on their
backs in the 1700's?
What unique feature do the words PRECEPTOR and
DILLYDALLY have in common?
What's the longest word in the English language with only
one vowel?
What do the words ALMOST and BIOPSY have in common?
What's the only word in the English language having four
consecutive double letters?
Draw a capital T over a capital C so that the down-stroke of
the T ends in the centre of the C. What historial event does
this represent?
What five odd figures when added together make fourteen?
The time displayed usually on watches and clocks in adverts
is what?, and why?
What are the only four commonly used words in the English
language ending in 'dous'? (There is a fourth not-so-common
word, and a fifth very uncommon word, which also has one
of each vowel in the correct order.)
What is the only word in the English language that ends in
'mt'?

What are the longest one-syllable words in the English
language? (You're looking for nine-letter words. To turn this
into a virtually impossible question, find a nine-letter word
that doesn't begin with 'S'.)
What words in the English language occur in two forms,
exactly the same spelling, with opposite meanings? (We
know eight of these words.)
What trades or occupations are associated with these
surnames? (easy ones first) Turner, Joiner, Glazier, Draper,
Cartwright, Bowyer, Fletcher, Wainwright, Tanner, Scrivener,
Sexton, Cooper, Horner, Chandler, Mercer, Franklin.
The sequence 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 incorporates
another sequence: 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 2. Why?
What connects Wedgwood pottery and The Origin Of
Species?
What do these three-letter groups have in common? ABZ,
BGO, HAJ, MEB, ORD, SPK.
How did the TVR sports car firm get its name?
What is 'trichlorophenylmethyliodisalicyl' more commonly
known as?
Name the Whacky Races cars and drivers.
What order is denoted by the following prefixes? First,
Middle, Morning, Forenoon, Afternoon, First Dog, Last Dog.
Complete the sequence: (three more needed): S, H, S, M, C,
D, P, R, O, ...
In 1860 Frederick Walton named his new product after the
latin words for its two main constituents, flax and oil. What
was it?
Why was Dr Who's 'Tardis' so called?

Shepherd and Turpin invented something that derived its
name from theirs, and the name of the factory where it was
first produced in 1941. What was it?
BUNCH was an acronym at one time representing the big
names in the computer industry, can you name them?
What was the origin of the 3M company name?
Who was Lady Creighton-Ward?
What's special about these four men? Reinhard Goerdeler,
Piet Kynveld, James Marwick, William Barclay Peat.
What did Mikoyan and Gurevich design?
What's the difference between a rhombus and a rhomboid?
The first Englishman to be killed in a plane crash had
another claim to fame, what was it?
What's noteworthy about the words 'reverberated' and
'stewardesses'? And in the same vein, 'lollipop'?
Name a fifteen letter word containing fifteeen different
letters.
Complete the sequence (five more required): deca, hecto,
kilo,...
What do these pairings have in common and what is the odd
pair in the sequence? - AA, AI, IO, OU, OX, BO, KI.
What is it? - the people who make it don't want it, the people
who buy it don't use it and the people who use it don't know.
What do these items have in common? - Vivien Leigh's 1939
Oscar for her performance in Gone With The Wind; Marylin
Monroe's dress that she wore when she sang Happy Birthday
to President John Kennedy at Madison Square Gardens in
1962; Leonardo da Vinci's 16th century Codex Hammer
notebook.
What is assessed by the international grading system known
as the Four C's, and what does each of the C's represent?

What's special about these sets of letters: SA - DK - XLNC -
NV - NME - FND - XPDNC?
To ensure a fair division between two people (for dividing
chocolate bars between children for instance) you might use
the 'one cuts, the other chooses' method. How do you
ensure a fair division between three people? (Thanks David
Grech)
Who were 'Too Much' and Norville Rogers?
There are lots of countries and continents that begin with the
letter 'A'. Two of them differ from the rest; which two and
why? (Thanks Rupert Stubbs)
Who has appeared more often than any other woman on the
cover of Time magazine?
What do these pairs have in common? Lenny Henry and
Michael Jackson - Peter Gabriel and Stevie Wonder - John
Motson and Virginia Wade - Stanley Kubrick and Danny La
Rue - Charles Dance and Chris Tarrant.
What oversized onomatopoeically named mechanism was
put on display for people to use at the British Wembley
Exhibition is 1924, in order to reassure the public as to its
safety and reliability?
A pair of red shoes were sold at auction in 1988 for 90,000.
What made them special?
What is unusual and probably unique about British postage
stamps?
A man is walking home with his dog at a steady 4mph. With
6 miles to go the dog is let off the leash and runs all the way
home at 6 mph. The dog immediately turns and runs back to
the man at the same speed, and upon meeting him it turns
and runs home again. It continues to run back and forth at
the same speed until the man reaches home. What distance
has the dog run since being let off the leash?

What word (in the English language) has six vowels, and
every one is 'A'?
Each of these famous people is related (not by marriage) to
one other person in the list. How many relationships can you
identify? Warren Beatty, Christopher Lee, Lauren Bacall,
Angelina Jolie, Isabella Rossellini, Loretta Lynn, Debbie
Reynolds, Ian Fleming, Shirley Maclaine, Crystal Gayle,
Stanley Baldwin, Peter Sarstedt, Jon Voigt, Francis Ford
Coppola, Ginger Rogers, Nicolas Cage, Ingrid Bergman,
Rudyard Kipling, Richard Briers, Tippi Hedren, Rita Hayworth,
Shimon Peres, Carrie Fisher, Eden Kane, Melanie Griffith,
Terry Thomas.
What year when written in Roman numerals uniquely
contains one of each symbol in descending order?
Irrespective of size, what is the most number of times a
square piece of paper can be folded in half? (not by
repeatedly folding and unfolding it, as that would be
cheating...)
What did each of these brand names originally represent?
Athena, Nike, Vesta, Mercury, Vulcan, Flora, Mars.
With no pre-selection, and excluding February 29th, what's
the smallest number of people in a group required to ensure
a better than even chance of at least two of them having the
same birthday? That's birthDAY, not birthDATE.
How many different batting orders are possible in a team of
eleven cricketers?
Do bullets fired straight up into the air take longer to go up
or to come down, or the same time, and why?
What famous confrontational sporting ritual begins with the
words, "Ka Mate Ka Mate.."
How many of the novels can you name in which these
characters appear? (they get harder...) Quasimodo,
d'Artagnan, Scarlet O'Hara, Phineas Fogg, Jim Hawkins,
Yossarian, Lemuel Gulliver, Randall McMurphy, Philip Pirrip,

Jude Fawley, Captain Ahab, Eliza Doolittle, Blanche Dubois,
Edmund Dantes, Holly Golightly, Percy Blakeney, Nick
Carraway, Leopold Bloom, David Balfour, Charles Ryder,
Holden Caulfield, Richard Hannay, Elizabeth Bennet, Tom
Joad, Maggie Pollitt, Becky Sharp, Dorothea Brooke,
Josephine March, Rupert Birkin, Maggie Tulliver, Jimmy
Porter, Arthur Seaton.
Put these British aristocratic titles in the correct order of
seniority - Marquess, Earl, Viscount, Prince, Duchess, Lord,
Baron, King, Marchioness, Duke, Prince, Queen, Lady, Earl,
Princess, Baroness, Viscountess, Countess.
What do these names have in common?..... Winnebago,
Tobacco, Chinook, Laguna, Mobile, Mono, Yazoo.
A gameshow contestant reaches the final challenge: Two
security guards are each holding identical closed brief cases.
In one there is $1m of banknotes; in the other a few of last
week's newspapers. The guards know what is in each case.
The contestant is told that one guard will lie and the other
will tell the truth - but not which guard is which. He is then
told that he can ask one guard just one question, and then
he must choose one case or the other. What question should
he ask? (There are two possible questions we know of
(thanks to John Fisher for suggesting the second one.)
A man took the bus every weekend to go fishing either to the
lake or the river. Initially he tried to guess which would offer
the best conditions, but frequently guessed wrong. So he
decided that as the buses to each place ran every ten
minutes, and from the same bus-stop, he'd simply leave it to
fate, and jump on the first bus that came along. After several
weeks he was puzzled that he hardly ever got to go to the
lake - in fact it was only about one week in ten - despite the
fact that he got to the bus-stop at all different times, and
that all the buses to both places ran on time (this is only a
story...). So why was this?
How many times would a football rotate if rolled around the
middle circumference of another football of the same size?

Numerically, what's the difference between a hind and a
hart?
Why do buses come in twos and threes?
Why do we clink glasses when we say 'cheers' (or 'skol' or
'good health' etc)?
It is said to be bad grammar to finish a sentence with a
preposition (ie., a word that expresses the relation of one
noun or pronoun to another, 'of', 'with', 'to', 'over' etc). Can
you think of a sentence which makes sense and finishes with
seven consecutive prepositions? (ack. The Bean)
A new street is built with one hundred new houses,
numbered 1 to 100. How many number 9's are required to
number all the houses? (ack. Neal Stothard)
Can you be mathematically certain that at least two people
in the UK have exactly the same number of hairs on their
head, and why so, or not?
There are several fascinating similarities between the
assassinations of American Presidents Abraham Lincoln and
John F Kennedy - which ones can you name?
What politician, noted for his wit, when told that his trouser
fly was open said, "Dead birds don't fall out of their
nests..." ?
There are two ten-letter English words that can be made
from the top row of letters on a normal QWERTY keyboard,
what are they? (a clue for one of them is in the question)
Why are buttons on women's and men's clothing such as
jackets and shirts on different sides (and for the same
reason, why do bras fasten at the back?)
A part of a wheel is a SPOKE, another word for people is
FOLK, so how do you spell the word for the white of an egg?
What do these words have in common: pint, skeleton,
limited, restaurant and oblige?

A man knew that he was bankrupt the moment he stopped
his car outside a railway station. How?
A stamp collector paid $100,000 for a stamp and then
deliberately destroyed it. Why?
Two chess masters played fifteen consecutive games of
chess. No games were drawn, every game was finished, yet
both players won and lost the same number of games as
each other. How could this happen?
There are five 'f's in the next sentance, and they're two
mistakes in this one. - "It's often easy for folk to miss the
finer points of life." - How many mistakes are there in the
first sentence?
Can a man marry his widow's half-sister?
A bucket and spade together cost 25.50. The spade costs
20 more than the bucket. What is the price of each?
A brick weighs 1kg plus half a brick. How much does it
weigh?
George Bernard Shaw's 'FISH' (George Bernard Shaw devised
this alternative spelling for the word 'fish'): GHOTI. Explain
how this spells 'fish'.
Why is the sum 88.88 special?
Complete the sequence: O, T, T, F, F, S, S, ...
Five Ands: construct a sentence which makes sense (and
state the scenario) which includes the word 'and' five
consecutive times.
Eleven Hads: punctuate this sentence so that it makes
sense: John where David had had had had had had had had
had had had the better effect.
What do these words have in common? CALMNESS -
INOPERABLE - DEFER - BURST - LAUGHING - STUPID.

Which one of these letters is the odd one out and why? (two
possible different answers): A B C M N O T U V.
Think of a two words that sound exactly the same and have
opposite meanings. (They are spelt differently but
phonetically - they sound - the same.) There are three more
pairs like this.
AEIOU: There are several words in the English language
which have one of each of the vowels (aeiou) in the right
alphabetical order. How many do you know? (thanks to
Thomas Mhire for pointing out a couple of these).
puzzle answers are here
Try the expressions derivations quiz.
puzzles and tricks

age maths trick (calculator required)
Pick any number between 1 and 100,000 (maybe the last
four or five digits of your phone number).
Multiply it by 2.
Add 5.
Multiply the answer by 50.
If you have already had your birthday this year add 1754, if
not add 1753*.
Subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should see now your original number followed by your
age.
*1754 and 1753 work for the year 2004. Add 1 for each year
after this, for example in 2005 use 1755 and 1754.
spelling tricks

1. Ask someone or a group: Spell the word 'silk'. (They
should spell out the letters: S, I, L, K.)
Then ask them: What do cows drink?
2. Ask someone or a group: Spell the word 'coast' (They
should spell out the letters: C, O, A, S, T.)
Then ask them: What do you put into a toaster?
(Answers)
phone number maths trick
1. Using a calculator, key in the first three digits of your
phone number (not the area code)
2. Multiply by 80
3. Add 1
4. Multiply by 250
5. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again
7. Subtract 250
8. Divide the answer by 2
Recognize the answer?...
co-ordination puzzle
While sitting down (or standing if you have good balance),
lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles
with it. At the same time, repeatedly draw the number 6 in
the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction
and without an awful lot of practice, there's nothing you can
do to prevent it.
This effect seems to be because drawing the number 6 is
effectively a counter-clockwise movement which the brain
can't reconcile easily with a clockwise one (a bit like patting
your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time). If

you draw the six from the middle and end with the up-stroke
instead, it doesn't conflict with the clockwise foot motion,
because the 6 is now a clockwise motion too. What's strange
is how we've evolved to enable same direction movements
with different limbs, and to resist opposite ones - There
doesn't seem to be a survival benefit from this, unless it's a
bi-product of an overall more co-ordinated (and therefore
more efficient, quicker, athletic) movement capability, which
would of course have been a survival aid.
association puzzle
Do these sums in your head. There is no need to write the
answers down or remember them.
What is: 15+6?
3+56?
89+2?
12+53?
75+26?
25+52?
63+32?
123+5
Now, think of a tool and a colour. Your answer is. (Ack M
Ordway).

utilities puzzle
Draw three houses in a horizontal row. Draw three utilities
suppliers beneath them: Gas, Water, Electicity. You should
now have six points or boxes on your sheet of paper or flip
chart. The challenge is to connect each house to each utility
supplier without any of the nine connection lines crossing.
Answer.
mental maths trick 1
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply it by 9. If you
have two digits add them together. Subtract 5. Convert your
number into a letter, on the basis that A = 1, B = 2, etc.
Think of a country that begins with that letter. Think of an
animal that begins with the second letter of that country.
Your answer is. (Thanks R Corovic)
mental maths trick 2
Do this sum in your head: Start with 1,000. Add 60. Add
2,000. Add 30. Add 1,000. Add 10. Your answer is.
egg trick
How to balance an egg on its end with no visible means of
support:
You need just a few grains of salt. Make a tiny pile of salt on
a flat surface and balance the egg on the pile. Then carefully
blow away the excess salt, leaving just the few grains
actually supporting the egg. (Obviously this needs preparing
in advance - if pressed to repeat the trick, place the egg
down hard enough to break the shell, which will also enable
it to balance).
ready-sliced banana trick
You can prepare a banana so that when someone removes
the skin the banana inside is already sliced:
You need just a clean pin. To make each slice, insert the pin
through the banana skin, but not so deep as to enter the skin

on the other side. Move the pin sideways in a see-saw
motion, using the entry point of the skin as a pivot. Replace
the banana in the fruit bowl.
A more sophisticated method is as follows: Use a needle and
thread rather than a pin. The aim is to thread a loop around
the banana under the skin for each slice required. Consider
the banana skin to be composed of several angled facets.
Insert the needle at one facet join where you wish to slice it,
and bring it out at the next, so that the thread runs under
the skin. Re-insert the needle in the same hole and go along
to the next join and so on. Eventually bring the needle out of
the original hole. There is now a loop of thread all around the
banana under the skin. Hold both ends and pull gently. The
banana is sliced through using the cheese-wire principle.
Repeat the process for each slice. (Thanks Michael Green)
cartoon quiz
How many clues do you need to guess this eponymous
cartoon series:
The central character's voice was provided by the late
Don Messick.
A screen kiss between the Daphne and Velma was cut
from the show.
Cher appeared as an animated guest star.
It was first shown on 13 Sept 1969 in the USA.
The 13 ghost characters that appeared in the series
inspired the film 'Ghostbusters'.
The central character's name was inspired by the
refrain of Sinatra's song ' Strangers in the Night'.
Don Messick also provided the voice for Muttley of
Whacky Races.
If you haven't guessed yet here's the answer and a few more
details.

pool puzzler
Six friends visited their local club to play at a pool
tournament. The competition entry fee was 10 per person.
Prize money was 250 for the winner, 100 for the runner-
up, and 50 for third-place. There were no other prizes. None
of the friends won a single game. There were no
disqualifications, and yet the friends came away collectively
150 in profit from having played. How? Answer. (Adapted
from a puzzle from Alex Sallustio, thanks)
whodunnit?
Three of these statements are untrue, so whodunnit?
Mr Red: "Mr Blue did it."
Mr Blue: "Mr Red did it."
Mr Green: "Mr Blue's telling the truth."
Mr Yellow: "Mr Green's not lying."
Answer.
three-digit maths trick
Write down any three-digit number, with different first and
last digits. Reverse it. Subtract the smaller number from the
larger one. Write down the answer. Reverse it (including the
zero at the beginning if less than a hundred). Add together
both numbers. Your final answer is.
nail puzzle
This fantastic lateral thinking puzzle makes a great quick
warm-up. It will also win you a fortune in pubs and bars the
world over. It is essential you practice this before using it in
front of an audience.

The challenge is simply
to balance 14 nails on
one single nail which is
fixed upright in a block
of wood. The nails must
all be the same size -
any length provided
they have flat heads.
The suggested scenario is that due to a last-minute hitch

where you are exhibiting your products (nails), you (your
team) have just (say three to fifteen) minutes to devise a
way of displaying all 14 nails using only the single fixed nail
as a support. None of the other 14 nails can touch anything
other than the other loose nails and the fixed nail.
Teams of three are good for this game as it's high-
involvement, trail and error, and hands-on; more than five
per team will cause people to be left out. Issue each team
with fourteen nails and a block of wood with the fifteenth nail
hammered into position. Different types and lengths of nails
may change the number of nails required, but there must
always be an odd number including the fixed nail. (Thanks to
John Rivers for this great puzzle). Answer.

complete the formula
Use only one of these symbols (+ - ) to complete the
formula: 10 10 10 = 9.50 (Thanks Alex Guild) Answer.
fairground chequers maths puzzle
This is an old fairground game, but can you calculate the
mathematical chances of winning with a single go? To win,
you must toss a 1 inch diameter coin onto a chequered
board comprising 2 inch diameter squares; the coin must
come to rest entirely inside a square, not overlapping any
other square. (Thanks DC) Answer.
the necker cube
Everyone's seen this shape
before, but there's more to it
than first seems. The Necker
Cube provides a fascinating
demonstration of how the
brain works on a sub-
conscious level whether we
want it to or not. Stare at it
for a few seconds and it will
flip into its alternative
perspective. Wait and it will
flip back again. It's unlikely
you'll be able consciously to
change the perspective that
your brain chooses to see,
although blinking might
trigger the brain to 'refresh'
the image.
balloon and knitting needle trick
How do you stick a knitting needle through both sides of an
inflated balloon without the balloon bursting? Answer.
microsoft excel trick

This works on MSExcel 97 (if you can still get hold of a copy).
Start program. Press F5. Enter reference X97:L97. Press
Enter or Okay. Press Tab once. Hold down Shift and Control
and at the same time click on the Chart Wizard icon (looks
like a coloured 3D graph). Move mouse to walk on the moon.
F12 to exit.
weird maths
Three men eat at a restaurant. The bill comes to 25. They
each pay 10. When the waiter brings the 5 change they
take back 1 each and leave a 2 tip. So each man has paid
9, which totals 27. The waiter has the 2 tip, which makes
29, so where's the other 1 gone? Answer.
farmer's puzzle
A farmer has a dog, a sack of grain and a live chicken, all of
which he must take across a river. The boat will only carry
him and one of the things at a time or it will sink. Without
the farmer, the dog would kill the chicken, and the chicken
would eat the grain. How does he get all three across safely
to continue his journey? Answer.
coin and bottle trick
Take an empty beer bottle and a small coin which is wider
than the mouth of the bottle but no wider than the rim (a
British penny is ideal). How do you move the coin without
moving the bottle, touching or blowing the coin, or using
another object to contact the coin and move it? Answer.
string-cutting trick

You need some string or
cord that's normally
impossible to break with
bare hands. Cut a 2-3ft
length. Wrap one end
clockwise three or four
times around the base of
your left thumb to secure
it. The loose end should
hang from the back of
your thumb, not over the
front.
Drape a large loop across

your left palm so that the
loose end hangs over the
back of your hand
between your left hand
thumb and forefinger.
Bring the loose end
underneath palm and feed
it up through the bottom
of the 'U' of the loop, from
the back to the front.
Pull and tighten string, so

that the crossing point is
in the centre of your palm,
keeping left hand firm in a
karate-chop position. Wrap
the loose end firmly
around your right hand.
Pull sharply down with
right hand, keeping left
hand firm. The string will
be cut at crossing point.
(Left-handers obviously
reverse positions.)

Depending on your
strength and confidence
you'll be able to cut
extremely strong nylon
cords this way.
The point of the trick is to

demonstrate how
innovation and positive
approach can achieve the
seemingly impossible.
amazing fact
There is more computing power in a happy birthday sound
card than the whole world in 1952. (Source - Innovations
magazine 1995)
impossible paper trick
(Do not show the
audience this preparation)
Start with a paper
rectangle, any size, 9" x
6" is fine. Make two right-
angle cuts to the exact
centre on one long side,
at 3" and 6". Make one
right-angle cut to the
exact centre on the other
long side at 4.5". Lay the
sheet flat, fold over the
central flap making a neat
hinge and fold it back.
Lift the sheet by the two

short sides, with the flap
away from you, and twist
one of the L-shaped ends
180 degrees (half a full

turn).
Lay the sheet flat again,

and fold the flap down
both ways to create a
hinge. The flap should
now be erect, with half of
the cut-away on each side
- which looks like an
impossible construction.
This is what you show
your audience. Ask them
to explain it.
word colour trick
Read out (at normal pace) the colour of each word, not the
word itself, without making a mistake.
Red Yellow Blue Green Yellow Red Green Blue Green
Red Blue Yellow Yellow Green Red Blue Yellow Blue
Red Green Yellow Green Red Blue Red Green Blue
Green Green Yellow
If you want to beat the trick, squint your eyes to blur the
words (Thanks Dave Skinner)
anagrams and anagram finder
"All the life's wisdom can be found in anagrams. Anagrams
never lie." (Anu Garg - real name, not an anagram
apparently).
Particularly good fun if you use work-colleagues' names - and
amazing how often really fitting anagrams crop up. An
amusing diversion during meeting breaks if you're using
online projection equipment.
Anagram finder - online and free - great fun for meetings and
training sessions.
mind-set trick

Try this for yourself. (If you do it with a group use a flip
chart.) Draw a circle. Divide it into two equal parts, (answer
is obviously one line dissecting across the centre). Next draw
an equilateral triangle (three sides same length) and divide
into three equal parts. Think about it before you read on.
Answer is tricky for some - three lines from centre outwards
to corners. Next draw a square and divide it into four equal
parts (easy - two lines dissecting up and across to make four
quarters). Now draw another square. Divide it into five equal
parts. (The point is to demonstrate how the mind can get
'stuck' in a certain thought pattern.) Got it yet? Answer.
four-digit maths trick
Ask the other person to write down a 4 digit number. On a
separate piece of paper write a 5 digit number which you
secretly arrive at by putting the number 2 in front of the
other person's 4 digit number and then deducting 2 from the
five digit figure. (For example if they write 5346, you would
write 25344. If they write 9071, you write 29069.) Do not
show the other person the number you have written on your
piece of paper, instead fold it to conceal the number and
give the folded piece of paper to them to keep. Ask them to
write another 4 digit number beneath their first number. You
then write a 4 digit number beneath the second four digit
number so that the total of the second row and your new
third row is 9999 (eg., if they write 4903 you write 5096; if
they write 1234 you write 8765. NB If their first digit is 9
don't write any number in the thousands column, or it may
give a clue as to your method - see example below). Do not
explain your choice of numbers to them. Next ask them to
write another 4 digit number beneath the three other
numbers. You now write another 4 digit number beneath it
using the same rule; ie., the total of the fourth row and your
new fifth row must be 9999 (eg., if they write 8491, you
write 1509). You should now have five 4 digit numbers, one
above the other. Ask the other person to add all five rows
and write the total beneath them. Ask them to look at the
number written on the folded piece of paper that you gave

them earlier. It will be the same as the total they've just
calculated.
A completed set of numbers could look like this:
Ask the other person to write down a four digit
number in view of observers - a flip chart is ideal.
On a separate slip of paper, you then deduct 2
8327 from their number and put the number 2 in front =
28325. Write this number on the slip, fold it and
give it to the other person without them or anyone
else seeing the number.
Ask the other person to write another four digit
9526
number beneath the first one.
You write a number in the third column so it makes
a total of 9999 when added to the second row.
(note that in this case the second row first digit is
473
nine therefore no figure needs be written beneath
it - a zero here might give them a clue as to your
method).
7539 Ask them to write another four digit number.
You write a number in the fifth column so it makes
2460
a total of 9999 when added to the fourth row.
Now ask them to total all five columns - then ask
28325 them to look at the slip of paper. 28325 - same
number.
You can extend the trick to seven rows (deduct 3 and put a
number 3 in front of the first number), or nine rows (deduct 4
and put a number 4 in front of the first number), and so on.
incredible planning tool - can it be true?
This is the specification for the most incredible, sophisticated
planning and communications tool yet invented: It's portable
- so light don't even notice it your pocket or brief case. Its life
is more than one-hundred times greater than the current
best re-chargeable power-packs. It is extremely durable - if
dropped from 50 feet onto concrete it'll be good as new

within a minute or two at the longest. It's so intuitive that
anyone can use it immediately without training. You can use
it on a plane - even during take off. It uses a remarkable data
input method as fast as an experienced qwerty keyboard
operator, and yet requires no keyboard skills. It handles
graphics as easily as text and can even handle 3-D modelling
and complicated calculations. It is compatible with any paper
output, even a bus-ticket or a table napkin, and is universally
adaptable to any reader format. It is completely wire-less,
already available all over the world, thanks to a distribution
network greater than Microsoft's, and comes in hundreds of
model variants to suit all styles and egos - you can even get
gold-plated ones. It costs a fraction of a penny a day over its
life, and if you lose it, its inherent unbreakable security will
leave no trace of confidential files or personal history.
Replacements are no problem because you can afford to
keep a couple spare with you all the time. What is it?

team building mental games
For original and enjoyable team building games, go to the
team building games section. Includes team building ideas
and games formats for treasure hunts, mime acts, juggling,
yoyos, newspaper towers and bridges, problem solving and
more.
For advice about puzzles and games for business and
training activities please contact us.
spelling tricks:
Did say 'milk' and toast? The answers are 'water' and
'bread'.
assocation puzzle:
Did you think of a red hammer? Apparently the vast

majority of people do. If you know why this is please
let me know.
utilities puzzle:
This classic puzzle which has been around for
hundreds of years, although it was obviously not
known as the Utilities Puzzle until relatively recently.
Strictly speaking it is impossible to solve the puzzle
using two dimensions on flat piece of paper; there will
always be a minimum of two crossed connections.
There are however two great lateral thinking
solutions:
1. Take the final line (that would otherwise cross
another) through the utilities and/or houses
themselves, which unless specifically outlawed in the
instructions would not consitute a cheat.
2. The puzzle can be solved without taking any lines
through buildings, if the utilities and houses are on
the outer surface of a ring torus (three-dimensional

doughnut) shape. You can create the torus effect
simply by making a hole in the paper centrally
between all six connection points and folding flaps
around the edges of the hole and the edges of the
sheet, so as to take certain lines through the hole and
around the back of the sheet to make the connections.
More explanation and ring torus solution here.
mental maths trick 1: Elephant (No? Emu?.......).
mental maths trick 2: 5,000? Wrong. Try it again. The
correct answer is 4,100. The mind knows that the final
10 will have a 'rounding-up' effect, and expects it to
impact the 1,000's instead of the 100's. The mind fails
to calculate the final figure properly because it's
locked into an expectation.
cartoon quiz: Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! Featuring
Scooby-Doo, Shaggy, Fred, Velma and Daphne.
pool puzzler: They were the musicians in the band.
whodunnit: Mr Blue did it.
three-digit maths trick: Your answer is 1089. Works
every time.
nail puzzle:
Lay one nail on the

table, and on it at 90
degrees (ie.,
perpendicular) lay
all the other nails
except one,
alternately each side
with points
furthermost. There
must be an equal
number of nails on
each side, and they

must fill the length
of the nail on which
they lay, so adjust
the quantity of nails
to ensure this
happens. (Now you
see why you need to
practice this.)
Lay the last nail on

top of the first nail
pointing the
opposite direction
(the last nail is
shown in red on the
diagram).
Gently lift the

assembled nails by
holding the ends of
the top and bottom
nails. As the
perpendicular nails
sag down to an
angle of around 45
degrees, amazingly
the whole assembly
locks itself together.
You can now balance
the assembly on the
supporting nail in
the block. (The
balance point is
extremely forgiving,
due to the counter-
balancing effect of
the nails hanging
down lower than the

point of support.)
The diagram shows
a side view.
complete the formula: 10 T0 10 = 9.50 (9.50 in this

context is an expression of time - 0950hrs - not a
decimal number; the brain of course instantly fixes on
the number as a pure decimal number and looks for
an impossible solution.)
fairground chequers maths puzzle: The calculation is
very simple - the centre of the coin can be no closer to
the edge of a square than half an inch. The 'win-zone'
is therefore a 1 x 1 inch square defined by a half inch
border inside each 2 inch square. The total area of
each chequered square is 2 x 2 = 4 square inches; the
win-zone in each is 1 x 1 = 1 square inch; so the
chances of winning are exactly 1 in 4, or 25%, or 3 to
1 against.
balloon and knitting needle: You need to prepare the
trick in advance. Inflate the balloon and knot the end.
Stick an inch-long strip of Sellotape (or better still
matt-finish Scotch cleartape) to each side of the
balloon at the proposed needle entry and exit points.
You can now pierce the balloon with a (sharp) knitting
needle and then again on the other side, without it
bursting. Practice first, if only to develop your
confidence.
weird maths: the answer is that the figures will not

add to 30 because they are not from the same
equation. Equation 1: What's been paid is 25 for the
meal - which is in the till, and 2 for the tip - in the
waiter's pocket, leaving the men with 1 each, ie 3,
which all adds up to 30. Equation 2: The men have
each paid 9 for the meal and the tip together, ie 27,
and they each have a 1 in their pocket, ie 3, which
all adds up to 30.
farmer's puzzle: he takes the chicken and comes back;
then he takes the grain and comes back with the
chicken; then he takes the dog and comes back; then
he takes the chicken.
coin and bottle trick: Drip some liquid onto the coin so
that a seal is made between the coin edge and the
mouth of the bottle. Clasp your hands around the
bottle and wait a few seconds. The air inside the
bottle expands from the heat of your hands. As the
pressure builds, air escapes bubble by bubble, by
repeatedly dislodging the coin.
mind set trick: If you try this with a group ask for
people not to shout out answer; it will spoil it for
those who get really stuck. Strangely many people will
struggle for ages because they get stuck in the same
mind set used for the previous square and triangle
solutions (whereas the answer is obviously four
horizontal or vertical lines to make five equal
sections).
incredible planning tool: a pencil

workshops
running workshops for motivation, team-building and
improving performance
Workshops combine training, development, team-building,
communications, motivation and planning. Participation and
involvement of staff increases the sense of ownership and
empowerment, and facilitates the development of
organisations and individuals. Workshops are effective in
managing change and achieving improvement, and
particularly the creation of initiatives, plans, process and
actions to achieve particular business and organisational
aims. Workshops are also great for breaking down barriers,
improving communications inside and outside of
departments, and integrating staff after acquisition or
merger. Workshops are particularly effective for (CRM)
customer relationship management development. The best
and most constructive motivational team-building format is a
workshop, or better still series of workshops, focusing on the
people's key priorities and personal responsibilities/interest
areas, which hopefully will strongly overlap with business
and departmental aims too. Workshops can be integrated
within regular monthly team meetings - an amazing amount
of motivation progress and productivity can be accomplished
with just a 90 mins workshop per month. Workshop
facilitation by a team leader or manager develops
leadership, and workshops achieve strong focus on business
aims among team members. Workshops are very effective
for training too - workshops encourage buy-in and
involvement more than conventional training courses
because they are necessarily participative, and the content
and output are created by the delegates. Also, the
relationship between workshop facilitator or workshop
presenter and delegates is participative, whereas a 'trainer'
is often perceived as detached, and the training material 'not
invented here'.
There are many workshop format variations - here's a basic
workshop format:

Prior to workshop session identify via consultation the
aim/opportunity area to be addressed (business task
aims, team, and individual aims/needs - refer to action
centred leadership if unclear about balancing these
needs).
Set suitable date and venue for meeting and issue
agenda, with verbal explanation/reassurance if
necessary - see running meetings.
At start of workshop, introduce aim and process - agree
expectations - answer queries. (5 mins)
Brainstorm the ideas and opportunities with the whole
group - flip chart is best - see brainstorming. (10-20
mins)
Split the group into pairs or threes (more usually
creates passengers) and ask them to come up with
outline actions/initiatives/plans to achieve agreed
purpose/aim. (20-30 mins)
Have groups present back their ideas - review and
praise positives aspects in each, and gently agree areas
which would benefit from improvement/refining. (max 5
mins per group)
Then task and agree for groups or individuals to refine
outline plans into clear objectives (refer to SMARTER
principles), during the workshop, or afterwards to be
fed back to manager, which can then be followed up
and coached during implementation.
Follow up, coach, encourage, support and invite ideas
for future workshop items and process improvements.
See also the guidelines for team building games and
exercises, the free team building games, the free SWOT
analysis template and examples, and the free PEST analysis
template, which can all help in running successful workshops

emotional intelligence (EQ)
emotional intelligence theory (EQ - Emotional
Quotient)
Emotional Intelligence - EQ - is a relatively recent
behavioural model, rising to prominence with Daniel
Goleman's 1995 Book called 'Emotional Intelligence'. The
early Emotional Intelligence theory was originally developed
during the 1970's and 80's by the work and writings of
psychologists Howard Gardner (Harvard), Peter Salovey
(Yale) and John Mayer (New Hampshire). Emotional
Intelligence is increasingly relevant to organizational
development and developing people because the EQ
principles provide a new way to understand and assess
people's behaviours, management styles, attitudes,
interpersonal skills, and potential. Emotional Intelligence is
an important consideration in human resources planning, job
profiling, recruitment interviewing and selection,
management development, customer relations and customer
service, and more.
The EQ concept argues that IQ, or conventional intelligence,
is too narrow; that there are wider areas of emotional
intelligence that dictate and enable how successful we are.
Success requires more than IQ (Intelligence Quotient), which
has tended to be the traditional measure of intelligence,
ignoring eseential behavioural and character elements.
We've all met people who are academically brilliant and yet
are socially and inter-personally inept. And we know that
despite possessing a high IQ rating, success does not
automatically follow.
emotional intelligence - two aspects
This is the essential premise of EQ: to be successful requires
the effective awareness, control and management of one's
own emotions, and those of other people. EQ embraces two
aspects of intelligence:

Understanding yourself, your goals, intentions,
responses, behaviour and all.
Understanding others, and their feelings.
emotional intelligence - the five domains
Goleman identified the five 'domains' of EQ as:
1. Knowing your emotions.
2. Managing your own emotions.
3. Motivating yourself.
4. Recognising and understanding other
people's emotions.
5. Managing relationships, ie., managing the
emotions of others.
Emotional Intelligence embraces and draws from numerous
other branches of behavioural, emotional and
communications theories, such as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic
Programming), Transactional Analysis, and empathy. By
developing our Emotional Intelligence in these areas and the
five EQ domains we can become more productive and
successful at what we do, and help others to be more
productive and successful too. The process and outcomes of
Emotional Intelligence development also contain many
elements known to reduce stress for individuals and
organizations, by decreasing conflict, improving relationships
and understanding, and increasing stability, continuity and
harmony.
See also these related and compatible theories:
Transactional Analysis
Buying Facilitation
Empathy
Steven Covey's 'Seven Habits'

In Search Of Excellence
Benziger Thinking Styles and Assessment Model
McGregor XY Theory
If you'd like information or advice about assessing people's
Emotional Intelligence and using the EQ priniples in an
organizational development context please get in touch.

transactional analysis
Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis (TA) - early history
and theory
Transactional Analysis is one of the most accessible theories
of modern psychology. Transactional Analysis was founded
by Eric Berne, and the famous 'parent adult child' theory is
still being developed today. Transactional Analysis has wide
applications in clinical, therapeutic, organizational and
personal development, encompassing communications,
management, personality, relationships and behaviour.
Whether you're in business, a parent, a social worker or
interested in personal development, Eric Berne's
Transactional Analysis theories, and those of his followers,
will enrich your dealings with people, and your
understanding of yourself. This section covers the
background to Transactional Analysis, and Transactional
Analysis underpinning theory. More recent Transactional
Analysis theory appears in a different article here.
roots of transactional analysis
Throughout history, and from all standpoints: philosophy,
medical science, religion; people have believed that each
man and woman has a multiple nature.
In the early 20th century, Sigmund Freud first established
that the human psyche is multi-faceted, and that each of us
has warring factions in our subconscious. Since then, new
theories continue to be put forward, all concentrating on the
essential conviction that each one of us has parts of our
personality which surface and affect our behaviour according
to different circumstances.
In 1951 Dr Wilder Penfield began a series of scientific
experiments. Penfield proved, using conscious human
subjects, by touching a part of the brain (the temporal
cortex) with a weak electrical probe, that the brain could be
caused to 'play back' certain past experiences, and the

feelings associated with them. The patients replayed these
events and their feelings despite not normally being able to
recall them using their conventional memories.
Penfields experiments went on over several years, and
resulted in wide acceptance of the following conclusions:
The human brain acts like a tape recorder, and whilst
we may forget experiences, the brain still has them
recorded.
Along with events the brain also records the associated
feelings, and both feelings and events stay locked
together.
It is possible for a person to exist in two states
simultaneously (because patients replaying hidden
events and feelings could talk about them objectively at
the same time).
Hidden experiences when replayed are vivid, and affect
how we feel at the time of replaying.
There is a certain connection between mind and body,
i.e. the link between the biological and the
psychological, eg a psychological fear of spiders and a
biological feeling of nausea.
early transactional analysis theory and model
In the 1950s Eric Berne began to develop his theories of
Transactional Analysis. He said that verbal communication,
particularly face to face, is at the centre of human social
relationships and psychoanalysis.
His starting-point was that when two people encounter each
other, one of them will speak to the other. This he called the
Transaction Stimulus. The reaction from the other person he
called the Transaction Response.
The person sending the Stimulus is called the Agent. The
person who responds is called the Respondent.

Transactional Analysis became the method of examining the
transaction wherein: I do something to you, and you do
something back.
Berne also said that each person is made up of three alter
ego states:
Parent
Adult
Child
These terms have different definitions than in normal
language.
Parent
This is our ingrained voice of authority, absorbed
conditioning, learning and attitudes from when we were
young. We were conditioned by our real parents, teachers,
older people, next door neighbours, aunts and uncles, Father
Christmas and Jack Frost. Our Parent is made up of a huge
number of hidden and overt recorded playbacks. Typically
embodied by phrases and attitudes starting with how to,
under no circumstances, always and never forget, don't
lie, cheat, steal, etc, etc. Our parent is formed by external
events and influences upon us as we grow through early
childhood. We can change it, but this is easier said than
done.
Child
Our internal reaction and feelings to external events form
the Child. This is the seeing, hearing, feeling, and emotional
body of data within each of us. When anger or despair
dominates reason, the Child is in control. Like our Parent we
can change it, but it is no easier.
Adult
Our Adult is our ability to think and determine action for
ourselves, based on received data. The adult in us begins to
form at around ten months old, and is the means by which

we keep our Parent and Child under control. If we are to
change our Parent or Child we must do so through our adult.
In other words:
Parent is our Taught concept of life
Adult is our Thought concept of life
Child is our Felt concept of life
When we communicate we are doing so from one of our own
alter ego states, our Parent, Adult or Child. Our feelings at
the time determine which one we use, and at any time
something can trigger a shift from one state to another.
When we respond, we are also doing this from one of the
three states, and it is in the analysis of these stimuli and
responses that the essence of Transactional Analysis lies. A
wonderful analogy - 'the person who had feelings' story -
explains how experiences and conditioning in early life affect
behaviour in later life. See also the poem by Philip Larkin
about how parental conditioning affects children and their
behaviour into adulthood.
At the core of Bernes theory is the rule that effective
transactions (ie successful communications) must be
complementary. They must go back from the receiving ego
state to the sending ego state. For example, if the stimulus is
Parent to Child, the response must be Child to Parent, or the
transaction is 'crossed', and there will be a problem between
sender and receiver.
If a crossed transaction occurs, there is an ineffective
communication. Worse still either or both parties will be
upset. In order for the relationship to continue smoothly the
agent or the respondent must rescue the situation with a
complementary transaction.
In serious break-downs, there is no chance of immediately
resuming a discussion about the original subject matter.
Attention is focused on the relationship. The discussion can

only continue constructively when and if the relationship is
mended.
Here are some simple clues as to the ego state sending the
signal. You will be able to see these clearly in others, and in
yourself:
Parent
Physical - angry or impatient body-language and
expressions, finger-pointing, patronising gestures,
Verbal - always, never, for once and for all, judgmental
words, critical words, patronising language, posturing
language.
N.B. beware of cultural differences in body-language or
emphases that appear 'Parental'.
Child
Physical - emotionally sad expressions, despair, temper
tantrums, whining voice, rolling eyes, shrugging shoulders,
teasing, delight, laughter, speaking behind hand, raising
hand to speak, squirming and giggling.
Verbal - baby talk, I wish, I dunno, I want, I'm gonna, I don't
care, oh no, not again, things never go right for me, worst
day of my life, bigger, biggest, best, many superlatives,
words to impress.
Adult
Physical - attentive, interested, straight-forward, tilted head,
non-threatening and non-threatened.
Verbal - why, what, how, who, where and when, how much,
in what way, comparative expressions, reasoned statements,
true, false, probably, possibly, I think, I realise, I see, I
believe, in my opinion.
And remember, when you are trying to identify ego states:
words are only part of the story.

To analyse a transaction you need to see and feel what is
being said as well.
Only 7% of meaning is in the words spoken.
38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way that the
words are said).
55% is in facial expression. (source: Albert Mehrabian -
more info)
There is no general rule as to the effectiveness of any ego
state in any given situation (some people get results by
being dictatorial (Parent to Child), or by having temper
tantrums, (Child to Parent), but for a balanced approach to
life, Adult to Adult is generally recommended.
Transactional Analysis is effectively a language within a
language; a language of true meaning, feeling and motive. It
can help you in every situation, firstly through being able to
understand more clearly what is going on, and secondly, by
virtue of this knowledge, we give ourselves choices of what
ego states to adopt, which signals to send, and where to
send them. This enables us to make the most of all our
communications and therefore create, develop and maintain
better relationships.
modern transactional analysis theory
Transactional Analysis is a theory which operates as each of
the following:
a theory of personality
a model of communication
a study of repetitive patterns of behaviour
Transactional Analysis developed significantly beyond these
Berne's early theories, by Berne himself until his death in
1970, and since then by his followers and many current
writers and experts. Transactional Analysis has been
explored and enhanced in many different ways by these

people, including: Ian Stewart and Vann Joines (their book 'TA
Today' is widely regarded as a definitive modern
interpretation); John Dusay, Aaron and Jacqui Schiff, Robert
and Mary Goulding, Pat Crossman, Taibi Kahler, Abe Wagner,
Ken Mellor and Eric Sigmund, Richard Erskine and Marityn
Zalcman, Muriel James, Pam Levin, Anita Mountain and Julie
Hay (specialists in organizational applications), Susannah
Temple, Claude Steiner, Franklin Ernst, S Woollams and M
Brown, Fanita English, P Clarkson, M M Holloway, Stephen
Karpman and others.
Significantly, the original three Parent Adult Child
components were sub-divided to form a new seven element
model, principally during the 1980's by Wagner, Joines and
Mountain. This established Controlling and Nurturing aspects
of the Parent mode, each with positive and negative aspects,
and the Adapted and Free aspects of the Child mode, again
each with positive an negative aspects, which essentially
gives us the model to which most TA practitioners refer
today:
parent
Parent is now commonly represented as a circle with four
quadrants:
Nurturing - Nurturing (positive) and Spoiling (negative).
Controlling - Structuring (positive) and Critical (negative).
adult
Adult remains as a single entity, representing an 'accounting'
function or mode, which can draw on the resources of both
Parent and Child.
child
Child is now commonly represented as circle with four
quadrants:
Adapted - Co-operative (positive) and Compliant/Resistant
(negative).

Free - Spontaneous (positive) and Immature (negative).
Where previously Transactional Analysis suggested that
effective communications were complementary (response
echoing the path of the stimulus), and better still
complementary adult to adult, the modern interpretation
suggests that effective communications and relationships
are based on complementary transactions to and from
positive quadrants, and also, still, adult to adult. Stimulii and
responses can come from any (or some) of these seven ego
states, to any or some of the respondent's seven ego states.
more transactional analysis - recent TA theory and
development here

sharon drew morgen - buying facilitation
Sharon Drew Morgen's Buying Facilitation selling
methodology
Sharon Drew Morgen is arguably the most advanced selling
thinker of the modern age. After a successful career in
business in the US and Europe, she has written extensively
about business and selling since the early 1990's. Her work
is regarded as pioneering by many of her peers. Her 2003
book, Buying Facilitation, explains her radical selling
techniques and philosophy, now being adopted by some of
the world's largest selling organizations. Sharon Drew's
background in NLP has been a major inspiration to her, as
have been her strong personal values-system, her
determination to evangelise, and a spiritual sense of
purpose. Sharon Drew Morgen also wrote the best-selling
and ground-breaking sales books: Selling with Integrity
(Berrett-Koehler, 1997) and Sales on the Line
(Metamorphous Press, 1993). Sharon Drew Morgen has
written dozens of articles for many major business
magazines, chiefly concerned with integrity in sales and
Buying Facilitation. She writes, speaks and trains
corporations around the world and appears regularly in the
media. She now resides and bases her consultancy in Austin,
Texas, USA.
buying facilitation selling method overview
Sharon Drew Morgen's Buying Facilitation method operates
to a totally different set of premises than conventional sales.
Here are some underpinning principles of the Buying
Facilitation philosophy:
The seller's job is to help people understand what their
systems require in order to change.
Only a person working or living within a culture or
system can understand it. (The seller can never truly
understand the buyer's system because it is so complex

and dynamic - if you are in any doubt about this think
how long it takes to really get to know an organization
when you start a new job...)
People only make a change when they're sure they can
manage the resulting chaos.
A seller is uniquely positioned to help the buyer
discover how to solve a problem within their system.
Only the buyer, never the seller, is able to work their
way through the decision within the system. However,
the seller can help the buyer do this because the seller
has the macro view.
The buyer needs to recognise all the specifics of what a
solution will entail within his or her unique environment.
By matching the buyer's unique buying criteria, the
seller is a true advisor and can be easily differentiated
from the competition.
The seller is uniquely positioned to be a brand
ambassador for the supplier.
Buying Facilitation is therefore 'an up-front addition to the
sales process'. It is not a form of consultative sales. It is not
about presenting product, information or ideas to create
interest, and it is not about gathering information in order to
sell what the sales person thinks is needed. Buying
Facilitation is a decision-based system that helps buyers
discover:
1. All of the elements that need to be included within their
purchasing decision, and
2. The systems variables that need to be accounted for as
a result of a purchasing decision, so their internal
systems stay intact.
Traditional selling is based on the product or service sale,
and yet until buyers know how decisions and new purchases
will affect their culture they will delay their decisions.

Buying Facilitation is a front-end decision-facilitation
methodology, used by sellers, to lead a buyer through the
examination of all the variables that need to be included in
deciding how a new solution will enter their systems.
Buying Facilitation is different to traditional sales
techniques, that invariably lead buyers through an
information process to strategically place a product or
service. The method helps buyers how to align all
organizational variables affected by the change, so as to
prevent chaos once the change is made.
As result, Buying Facilitation enables multiple-point
decision-making to an extent that the sales person
effectively becomes an organizational consultant to the
buying organization, by focusing strongly on the decision-
influencing teams and systems within it. Moreover, Buying
Facilitation is an adjunct to the normal sales process that
supports the buyer's buying patterns. Conventional sales
methods can be added once the buyer has aligned all of
their decision variables. As Sharon Drew Morgen says: "Do
you want to sell? or have someone buy?"
By helping the buyer make sense of the system they live and
work within, the sales person becomes a part of the buyer's
decision team and therefore operates as a true consultant.
Facilitative questions form a crucial part of this process,
which Sharon Drew Morgen positions in the 'Buying Decision
Funnel' significantly in advance of the conventional 'Product
Decision Funnel'.
The sales person must therefore help the buyer become
aware of the variables within the buyer's organizational
system, and how the purchase of the new product or service
will affect it.
sharon drew morgen's 'buying decision funnel'

examples of buying facilitation questions
Here are examples of facilitative questions that Sharon Drew
Morgen uses to illustrate how the flow of questions operates
within the facilitative questioning process, as shown in the
buying decision funnel diagram above. The scenario is one of
an organization considering sales training for its sales
people, but the principles are transferable to any situation.
Note that since there are no answers to these questions (and
of course answers often create the shape and direction of
discussions), these questions are an example of how the
process works, not a process in itself. Note also - as Sharon
Drew Morgen says - "...this is a decision-facilitation model

rather than a sales model. My job, as a facilitator, is to help
you make your best decision based on what your solution
must look like in your unique culture with your unique buying
criteria."
1. How do you currently train your sales people?
2. How is that working for you?
3. Is anything missing?
4. If there is something further you'd want but aren't
getting?; what's stopping you from getting what you
want from your sales training?; From your sales people?
5. How are you currently set up to fix this problem with
the current resources you've got in place (i.e. internal
trainers/ Current vendors)?
6. What's stopping you from using your current resources
(trainers/vendors) to fix the problem?
7. What would need to know in order to consider doing
something different from what you are currently doing
in the area of sales training?
8. How will you know that whatever skills you decide to
add will work with what you are currently doing, so that
there won't be a breakdown, and you won't lose the
success you've already attained?
9. What type of decision would you and your team need to
make that's different from the one you made to have
the training you are now running?
10. How do you plan on aligning the (management,
partners, initiatives) so that if you decide to add new
sales skills, they will be happy to work with you on the
change?
11. What criteria would you need to have filled to
understand that a different or alternate training
approach would work alongside the approach you are

currently using to give you (a higher closing ratio; a
quicker sales cycle; increased customer retention; more
referrals; increased sales from a unique/new customer
base)?
12. How would you know that a chosen provider or
solution would meet that criteria?; What would you
need to know or see from us to know that our material
would meld with what you've got in place?
13.How would you know we could deliver this and match
your criteria?
"Buying Facilitation assumes that before a seller can place
his/her product, the buyer's system and unique cultural
issues must be addressed. While product pitch or
presentation can be offered after buyers line up their
decisions, doing so beforehand faces delays in the buying
decision while the buyer lines up the systems necessary for
success." (Sharon Drew Morgen)
For more information about Buying Facilitation read the
various free materials on Sharon Drew Morgen's website;
better still buy her new book. The method is radical,
effective, and will immediately set you apart from your
competitors.
buying facilitation - sharon drew
morgen
Sharon Drew Morgen's latest book on

collaboration and facilitation selling. Ground-
breaking and superb. Available as an e-book
from her website, or click on the cover pic to
order direct.
If you are serious about becoming a trusted

advisor to your clients, and collaborating
with them to make their buying decision,
read Buying Facilitation and learn the most
advanced sales method in the world.

Learn the process that Philip Kotler says
brings Consultative Selling to the next level.
Learn the process that the great visionary
sellers now use. Double your sales, halve
your sales cycle, and help your buyers buy.
Read this revolutionary book and change

your way of working and your business!
You can view and download three free

chapters now before you buy! (you'll need
adobe acrobat reader)
selling with integrity - sharon drew morgen
Sharon Drew Morgen's best selling book on selling

and making things happen. Just read it - it will
inspire you.
sales on the line - sharon drew morgen
Sharon Drew Morgen's brilliant best seller on

telephone selling and telephone business.
Buying Facilitation is a trademark of Sharon Drew Morgen.

empathy, trust, diffusing conflict and handling
complaints
empathy and trust improve relationships and
communications, complaints handling and
customer retention, and help to diffuse conflict
Empathy and trust are a platform for effective
understanding, communication and relationships. Empathy
and trust are essential to develop solutions, win and retain
business, and avoiding or diffusing conflict. Empathy and
trust are essential for handling complaints and retaining
customers. These days we need to be more effective
communicators to be successful in business - and in life. The
'steps of the sale', persuasion, closing techniques, features
and benefits do not build rapport or relationships - empathy,
trust, understanding and sympathetic communications do.
One-sided persuasion is not sustainable and is often
insulting, especially when handling complaints. Trust and
empathy are far more important in achieving and sustaining
successful personal and business relationships.
A certain legacy of the days of the hard-sell is that many
consumers and business people are more reluctant to
expose themselves to situations where they may be asked to
make a decision. This places extra pressure on the process of
arriving at a deal, and very special skills are now needed to
manage the situations in which business is done.
Most modern gurus in the areas of communications,
management and self-development refer in one way or
another to the importance of empathy - really understanding
the pther person's position and feelings. Being able to 'step
back', and achieve a detachment from our own emotions, is
essential for effective, constructive relationships.
Whether for selling, customer retention, handling
complaints, diffusing conflict, empathy helps.

trust - and understanding the other person's
standpoint
Part of the 'empathy process' is establishing trust and
rapport. Creating trust and rapport helps us to have sensible
'adult' discussions (see Transational Analysis, which is
another useful model for understanding more about
empathy).
Establishing trust is about listening and understanding - not
necessarily agreeing (which is different) - to the other
person. Listening without judging.
A useful focus to aim for when listening to another person is
to try to understand how the other person feels, and to
discover what they want to achieve.
Dr Stephen Covey (of 'The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective
People' fame) is one of many modern advocates who urge
us to strive deeply to understand the other person's point of
view.
Sharon Drew Morgen's Buying Facilitation concept is another
sign-post towards this more open, modern, collaborative
approach (and it is not retricted to buying and selling).
It is difficult and rarely appropriate to try to persuade
another person to do what we want; instead we must
understand what the other person wants, and then try help
them to achieve it, which often includes helping them to see
the way to do it (which is central to Sharon Drew Morgen's
approach).
We must work with people collaboratively, to enable them to
see what they want, and then help tem to see the ways
achieve it.
The act of doing all this establishes trust.
listening
Listening is by far the most important of all communications
skills.

It does not come naturally to most people, so we need to
work hard at it; to stop ourselves 'jumping in' and giving our
opinions.
Mostly, people don't listen - they just take turns to speak -
we all tend to be more interested in announcing our own
views and experiences than really listening and
understanding others.
This is ironinic since we all like to be listened to and
understood. Covey says rightly that when we are understood
we feel affirmed and validated.
He coined the expression: Seek first to understand, and then
to be understood, which serves as a constant reminder for
the need to listen to the other person before you can expect
them to listen to you.
handling complaints and customer retention in
organizations
The principle of ownership is central to complaints handling:
if you receive a complaint or query you continue to own it
until it is resolved - even if you escalate it or delegate it -
which means that you must always follow-up and check on
progress and eventually resolution and satisfaction.
The measurement and monitoring of complaints, from
receipt to resolution is also vital: the organisation must have
suitable systems and commitment to do this, especially from
the very top.
There is a difference between 'understanding' someone and
'agreeing' with them: everyone in the organisation should
have the training, encouragement and ability, to understand
and to convey that they understand - to see the reality of the
other person's position and feelings - whether they are right
or wrong - and should have the training and authority to
'agree' where appropriate, which has implications for
authorization levels and compensation offerings.

Seek complaints and feedback: the organisation should
welcome complaints and should encourage staff to ask for
them - complaints enable quality improvement and
ultimately improve relations with customers (the vast
majority of customers are more loyal after the complaint is
resolved satisfactorily than they were before the complaint
arose).
Incidentally, from a staff-selection perspective, people with
strong right basal brain quadrant - which produces intuition
and empathy - make good complaint receivers. Strong left
basal enables good processing and follow-up. Strong right
frontal enables good creative problem-solving. (See the
Benziger page.)
Use the 'over-compensation' principle: always look after
complaining customers extremely well - generally regardless
of whether they are right or wrong. Organisations often
begrudge compensating complaining customers, which is
completely illogical, because complaints are relatively rare
and the real cost of compensation is relatively inexpensive,
and yet the benefits from customer satisfaction, increased
loyalty and positive word-of-mouth, are enormous by
comparison.

trust and rapport training to improve customer
service
Here are some pointers as to how you can develop empathy
skills for customer service staff, especially in call-centres,
and situations where customer retention is a strong priority.
Use a training exercise to flush out all the 'wrong' ways to
handle these customer situations - it's often much easier for
a group to identify (via role play and/or syndicates) wrong
ways, and then make sure they avoid them. Customers resist
strongly being persuaded against their urge to contact and
terminate a contract - the persuasive approach immediately
polarises customer service representative and customer; the
resulting emotional issue then dominates, removing any
chance to save the customer. All initial effort must be to
establish rapport and understanding - without the rapport
nothing can be done.
Use a training exercise to identify rapport-establishing
phrases, questions, and then role-play to demonstrate,
practice and demonstrate suitable tone - style must be
highly sympathetic and interested (the tendency is for tone
to be confrontational, competitive, challenging, etc, which
makes matters worse). Demonstrate also how it can take
several minutes to do this - sometimes several
conversations. Through role-play, observe how easy it is to
shatter rapport by moving into persuasive mode. Stay 'with'
the customer - understand (not necessarily the same as
agreeing) and sympathise, allowing the discussion to
develop, rather than present an opposing proposition.
Use a training exercise to identify suitable empathic
information-gathering questions - what do we need to know
in order to help, how to ask for this information, and how to
position the need to ask questions in the first place, once
initial rapport has been established.
Use a training exercise to identify approaches, and ' ready-
made' phrases, to view customers' situations objectively with
the customers - 'let's look at this together and see what the

options are...' - rather than the tendency to go head-to-head
and counter the customer's position with superior argument,
justification, or worse still implied or direct threat, such as
penalties, etc. (It's easy to fall into the confrontation trap
because so much sales training and experience is based on
the power of persuasion, which is in itself highly
confrontational in defensive scenarios.)
The secret to customer retention is the relationship in the
first few seconds - customers are far more likely to rethink
and stay if they 'like' the person on the other end of the
phone. Certainly a customer will not begin to reconsider if
they 'dislike' the other person - instead they become
empowered to accelerate and reinforce withdrawal from the
moment they feel the slightest bit challenged or opposed.
Role-play sympathetic phrases and tone for this scenario:
you meet a friend in the street and learn from them that
they have suffered an upsetting experience - listen for the
natural empathy and sympathy - there is no instinct here to
persuade the friend to 'get a grip' or 'snap out of it' - the
natural sympathetic response is the basis of building trust
and empathy and rapport.
Trust, rapport, empathy and understanding are powerful
relationship-builders, and form the bedrock of sustainable
business and careers.

the seven habits of highly effective people
Dr Stephen Covey's Seven Habits Of Highly Effective
People
Dr Stephen Covey is a hugely influential management guru,
whose book The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People,
became a blueprint for personal development when it was
published in 1990. The Seven Habits are said by some to be
easy to understand but not as easy to apply - don't let the
challenge daunt you. The seven habits are a remarkable set
of inspirational and aspirational standards for anyone who
seeks to live a full, purposeful and good life. Covey's values
are full of integrity and humanity, and contrast strongly with
the colder logic- and process-based ideologies that
characterised management thinking in earlier times.
stephen covey's seven habits of highly effective
people
habit 1 - be proactive
This is the ability to control one's environment, rather than
have it control you, as is so often the case. Self
determination, choice, and the power to decide response to
stimulus, conditions and circumstances
habit 2 - begin with the end in mind
Covey calls this the habit of personal leadership - leading
oneself that is, towards what you consider your aims. By
developing the habit of concentrating on relevant activities
you will build a platform to avoid distractions and become
more productive and successful.
habit 3 - put first things first
Covey calls this the habit of personal management. This is
about organising and implementing activities in line with the
aims established in habit 2. Covey says that habit 2 is the

first, or mental creation; habit 3 is the second, or physical
creation. (See the section on time management.)
habit 4 - think win-win
Covey calls this the habit of interpersonal leadership,
necessary because achievements are largely dependent on
co-operative efforts with others. He says that win-win is
based on the assumption that there is plenty for everyone,
and that success follows a co-operative approach more
naturally than the confrontation of win-or-lose.
habit 5 - seek first to understand and then to be
understood
One of the great maxims of the modern age. This is Covey's
habit of communication, and it's extremely powerful. Covey
helps to explain this in his simple analogy 'diagnose before
you prescribe'. Simple and effective, and essential for
developing and maintaining positive relationships in all
aspects of life. (See the associated sections on Empathy,
Transactional Analysis, and the Johari Window.)
habit 6 - synergize
Covey says this is the habit of creative co-operation - the
principle that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts,
which implicitly lays down the challenge to see the good and
potential in the other person's contribution.
habit 7 - sharpen the saw
This is the habit of self renewal, says Covey, and it
necessarily surrounds all the other habits, enabling and
encouraging them to happen and grow. Covey interprets the
self into four parts: the spiritual, mental, physical and the
social/emotional, which all need feeding and developing.
Stephen Covey's Seven Habits are a simple set of rules for
life - inter-related and synergistic, and yet each one powerful
and worthy of developing in its own right. For many people,
reading Covey's work, or listening to him speak, literally

changes their lives. This is powerful stuff indeed and highly
recommended.
This is just a brief overview - the full work is fascinating,
comprehensive, and thoroughly uplifting. Read the book, or
listen to the tape.
the 7 habits of highly effective people -

stephen covey
Life-changing. Something for
everyone. Buy it. Click this cover pic for the
book.
the 7 habits of highly effective people -

stephen covey
Audio cassette summary version - a taster
for the book.
Various phrases on this page are registered trade marks
belonging to Stephen Covey. No attempt is made here to
exploit his work - merely to review and inform.
See also Cherie Carter-Scott's 'If Life Is A Game, These Are
The Rules', and Don Miguel Ruiz's 'The Four Agreements',
which are other inspirational principles for behaviour,
attitude to life and personal development.

tom peters - in search of excellence
Tom Peters and Robert H Waterman Jr - In Search Of
Excellence summary
The seminal management book In Search of Excellence, by
Tom Peters and Robert Waterman, was published in 1982,
and remains one of the one of the biggest selling and widely
read business books ever. Peters and Waterman found eight
common themes which they argued were responsible for the
success of the chosen corporations, which have become
pointers for managers ever since. In Search of Excellence
didn't start out as a book, as Tom Peters explained when
interviewed in 2001 to mark the 20th anniversary of In
Search of Excellence: Peters and Waterman were both
consultants on the margins of McKinsey, based in the San
Francisco office. In 1977 McKinsey director Ron Daniel
launched two projects ; the first and major one, the Business
Strategy project, was allocated to top consultants at
McKinsey's New York corporate HQ and was given star
billing. Nothing came of it. The second 'weak-sister' project
(as Peters called it) concerned Organisation - structure and
people. The Organisation project was seen as less important,
and was allocated to Peters and Waterman at San Francisco.
Peters travelled the world on an infinite budget, with licence
to talk to as many interesting business people he could find
about teams and organisations in business. He had no
particular aim or theory in mind. In 1979 McKinsey's Munich
office requested Peters to present his findings to Siemens,
which provided the spur for Peters to create a 700-slide two-
day presentation. Word of the meeting reached the US and
Peters was invited to present also to PepsiCo, but unlike the
hyper-organised Siemens, the PepsiCo management required
a tighter format than 700 slides, so Peters produced the
eight themes.
The platform for Peters and Waterman onto which the In
Search Of Excellence research and theorising was built, was
the McKinsey 7-S model:

McKinsey 7-S model elements
1. structure
2. strategy
3. systems
4. style of management
5. skills - corporate strengths
6. staff
7. shared values
Peters and Waterman examined 43 of Fortune 500's top
performing companies. They started with a list of 62 of the
best performing McKinsey clients and then applied
performance measures to weed out what they thought to be
the weaker companies. General Electric was one of the
casualties which failed to make the cut. Peters says that one
of his personal drivers in carrying out his research was to
prove that certain established methods - particularly heavily
systemised philosophies and practices - were wrong, notably
those used by Xerox, and advocated by Peter Drucker and
Robert McNamara. Peters says that he wanted - with a
passion - to prove how crucial people are to business
success , and to release business from the 'tyranny of the
bean counters'.
As Peters explained in 2001: 'Start with Taylorism, add a
layer of Druckerism and a dose of McNamaraism, and by the
late 1970's you had the great American corporation that was
being run by bean counters...'
Contrast this with what Peters says became the essential
message of In Search of Excellence, simply:
People
Customers
Action

Peters says that In Search of Excellence turned these 'soft'
factors into hard ones, when previously the only 'hard factors
were considered to be the 'numbers'.
Peters also said in 2001 that other than certain wrong
companies highlighted - Atari and Wang for instance - In
Search of Excellence 'absolutely nailed the eight points of
the compass for business at that time' (1982), but that its
central flaw was in suggesting that these points would apply
for ever, when they most certainly have not.
Peters said finally in his 2001 interview that were he to write
In Search of Excellence today, he would not tamper with any
of the eight themes, but he would add to them: capabilities
concerning ideas, liberation, and speed.
Here is a summary of the 'In Search of Excellence' eight
themes, which also form the eight chapters of the book.

In Search of Excellence - the eight themes
1. A bias for action, active decision making - 'getting on
with it'.
2. Close to the customer - learning from the people
served by the business.
3. Autonomy and entrepreneurship - fostering
innovation and nurturing 'champions'.
4. Productivity through people - treating rank and file
employees as a source of quality.
5. Hands-on, value-driven - management philosophy
that guides everyday practice - management showing
its commitment.
6. Stick to the knitting - stay with the business that you
know.
7. Simple form, lean staff - some of the best companies
have minimal HQ staff.
8. Simultaneous loose-tight properties - autonomy in
shop-floor activities plus centralised values.
click on cover pictures to order
in search of excellence - tom peters

and robert h waterman jr
Seminal management book, written in
1982 - (see the Tom Peters section, as this
explains how the book was written and
provides Peters' view on the book and how
he'd write it today). With its classic eight
themes for successful corprations, In
Search Of Excellence remains the biggest
selling and most widely read management
book ever.

thriving on chaos - tom peters
Peters takes stock of the excellence he
found in writing his first book ".......IBM
was dead in 1979, 'excellent' in 1982, and
dead again in 1986......." when he
reviewed the company again in Thriving
On Chaos. Contains Peter's 45 pointers for
companies to succeed by embracing
change in the chaotic global business
environment, and still extremely relevant
today.
the pursuit of wow! - tom peters
More a reference manual than end-to-end
read, and valued by many because of it.
Over 200 rules for successful business,
many of which we've probably all heard
before, but never quite put into practice.
Some say this book even has life-changing
properties.

katherine benziger
dr katherine benziger - personality assessment,
thinking and working styles
Dr Katherine Benziger is a true pioneer and leading expert in
her field. Her work has for the past 25 years focused on the
proper and ethical development and application of
personality assessing in the global business environment.
Significantly, Dr Benziger prefers the term personality
assessing, rather than personality testing, to describe
her approach. Katherine Benziger is keen to distance herself
from the 'personality testing' industry, for which 'falsification
of type', and the interests of the individual - rather than the
organisation - are not generally seen as a priority concerns.
For Dr Benziger they are.
Also importantly, Benziger's systems are not psychometric
tests. Many non-scientific people now use the term
'psychometrics' to cover the wide range of systems and tools
used in testing, measuring and assessing all kinds of
attributes in people, but strictly speaking this is incorrect.
The term 'psychometrics' actually means the psychological
theory or technique of mental measurement. Psychometrics
and psychometric tests in this pure sense are often (and in
certain countries necessarily) practised and administered
only by people holding a PhD in psychology. This inherently
can cause 'pure' psychometrics theory and testing tools to
be less accessible for typical business and organisational
applications.
Benziger's work, model and assessment systems are instead
based on the measurement of brain function and
energy consumption in the brain. This study of brain
function is a different science, and a more recent one than
psychology and psychometrics (the study of brain function
has for instance been particularly aided by the advent of
recent brain scanning technologies such as PET and MRI).
The accessibility and application of Benziger's work and

systems do not suffer the same restrictions and limitations
as pure psychometrics, and as such offer potentially
enormous benefits to organisations.
Benziger is keen to focus on the common tendency of people
in work, whether being assessed or not, to 'falsify type'. She
rightly says that when people adapt their natural thinking
and working styles to fit expectations of others, normally
created by work and career, tension and stress results.
People are not happy and effective if they behave in
unnatural ways, and much of Benziger's work focuses on
dealing with these issues and the costs of falsifying, for
which Benziger developed the term Prolonged Adaptive
Stress Syndrome (PASS).
Benziger's principal assessment system is called the BTSA
(Benziger Thinking Styles Assessment), and it's also
available online as the eBTSA from the Benziger website,
where you can learn more about Katherine Benziger and her
ideas. I'd also strongly recommend you read Katherine's
book, Thriving in Mind, available via her website. The book
enables the reader to perform a basic personality
assessment using the Benziger model, which is highly
illuminating.
Here is a brief overview of Katherine Benziger's model: The
brain has four specialised areas. Each is responsible for
different brain functions (which imply strengths, behaviour
and thinking style). The specialised areas are called 'modes'.

Each of us possesses natural strengths in only one of these
specialised areas, which cause us to favour and use a certain
style ahead of others. (Outside of that one style, we may
have strengths and weaknesses which are based on what
competencies we have been exposed to, or developed, and
indeed which competencies we have not been exposed to.)
Dr Benziger refers to the natural specialised area as the
preferred thinking and behavioural mode. If you buy the
book there's an excellent and simple assessment to illustrate
this point, although it relies on complete honesty when
answering - if you are 'falsifying your type' then you will
distort the analysis.
Dr Benziger illustrates a person's brain dominance
(preferences and tendencies) in terms of a brain diagram
(viewed from above) when the relative strengths for each
specialised area are plotted using scores from an
assessment to produce a rhombus or kite shape. There is no
right or wrong shape. The diagram is simply a way of
visualising the bias of a person's brain, and the parts used
more and better than the others.
benziger's model uses this representation of the brain
(viewed from above, top is front) and the
definitions below

mod specialise brain response to
e d area functions stimulus
Order and
habit Remembers
Ordered definitions. What
1 basal left
procedures is, is as
Sequential described.
routines
Picks up
emotional tone
and the presence
Spiritual
or absence of
experience
harmony
2 basal right Rhythm and
(including
feeling
harmony
Harmony
between people).
What is, how we
feel about it.
3 frontal Internal Sees the essence

of things, in
pictures and
imaging
metaphors. What
Metaphor and
right is, is something
imagination
meaning or
Expressiveness
enabling
something else.
Structural Converts into
analysis logical results or
4 frontal left Prioritising and effects. What is,
logic leads to, or
Mathematics produces results.
Benziger says that people can have one and only one natural
lead in which their brain is naturally efficient. They can and
often do develop competencies in other modes. When they
do in practice they will be using more areas of their brain,
and when they do this the competencies outside their
natural lead are always very draining.
Using the Benziger methodology and descriptions, here are
some examples of brain types (which determine thinking and
working styles), starting with the four modes and
descriptions of each, shown as single-brain patterns. If you
want to learn what your own thinking and working style is,
get the book Thriving In Mind, or visit the Benziger website.

Basal left - mode 1
Strong basal left gives

good routine, sequential,
process skills. Detailed,
structured, ordered,
efficient, dependable,
reliable, builds and
maintains orderly
foundations. Follows
instructions, does things
by the book, step-by-
step. Communicates in
writing, detailed.
Meets deadlines through

following schedules and
processes. Disciplined.
Good attention to detail.
Can appear laboured,

bureaucratic, or
obstinate.

Basal right - mode 2
Strong basal right

gives good abilities in
intuition, feelings,
empathy, relationships,
connecting with people.
Good active listening
skills, understands how
people feel, sensitive,
picks up moods and
feelings. Singing,
dancing, speaking and
listening with the eyes,
touching, reaching out to
people. Caring,
compassionate. Non-
verbally able, notices
body-language.
Interpersonally good,
attentive to relationships
and people. Internal
language is feelings.
Likes to harmonise with
their environment. Can
be a soft-touch, making
too many personal
sacrifices, and can find it
difficult to say no.
Doesn't like to upset
people.

Frontal right - mode 3
Strong frontal right

gives good spatial and
internal imaging,
innovating and adapting.
Can visualise,
conceptualise, (eg good
at packing a car
boot/trunk. Able to grasp
whole pictures, themes,
from vague outlines or
ideas. relates to cartoons
and models and
caricatures. They file
visually - where they can
see things, in stacks.
Attentive to new ideas.

Uses language to think
out loud. Uses
metaphors and word
pictures. Expressive, at
times looking within
themselves to find or
examine how best to
paint the next word-
picture. Enthusiastic and
likes change. Gets bored.
Can appear out of step,
whacky, off-the-wall.
Quirky sense of humour.
At times to others can
appear to have 'lost
touch with reality'. Can
change for change's
sake. Good starters, not
good finishers.

Frontal left - mode 4
Strong frontal left gives

good analytical skills.
Good at mathematics.
Uses signage and labels
to analyse and store data
Physical and mental data
storage. Nonemotional.
Uses critical analysis to
assess causes and
effects, to make
decisions and announce
actions to meet goals.
Makes judgements.
Results orientated.
Calculates and uses
diagnostic thinking.
Logical, good at verbal
argument. tactics, goal-
setting and goal
achievement. Manages
resources to achieve
objectives. Uses
operational principles.
Communicates in concise
no-nonsense terms.
Can be seen as cold and

manipulating, uncaring,
unfeeling. Puts the task
before people. Will bend
rules. Will make new
rules. Not strongly
creative. Not good with
people directly. Not
strongly supportive or
nurturing.

Dual-brained - double
left (modes 1 and 4)
Strong frontal left and

basal left skills.
right (modes 2 and 3)
Strong basal right and

front right skills.

frontal (modes 3 and
4)
Strong frontal left and

frontal right skills.
basal (modes 1 and 2)
Strong basal left and

basal right skills.

Triple-brained pattern
example
Skills of strong frontal

right and double left.
The three other triple

brain patterns:
bl/br/fr, br/fr/fl, fl/bl/br.
Triple-brained people are

often 'translators',
helping people with
single or dual patterns to
understand each other
and co-operate.
Whole-brained pattern
Only 5% of people are

whole-brained.
Strong in all four modes.
A 'translator', helping
others to understand
each other and co-
operate, but can be
prone to indecision, and
can dramatically change
direction of career or
personal direction.

Benziger gives examples of jobs that are often comfortable
with people who have developed a particular combination of
modes. The list is by no means exhaustive:
double lefts lawyers, physicians, intensive care nurses
double lefts,
accountants, MBA's, electrical engineers,
with frontal
hospital directors, implementer leaders,
left leads
double lefts
bankers, machine operators, machine
with basal left
repairers
leads
ordering and purchasing clerks, record-
keepers, filing clerks, book-keepers,
basal lefts
personnel clerks, supervisors, head nurses,
personnel officers, school administrators
receptionists, communications specialists,
pediatrics nurses, staff nurses, teachers,
basal rights
staff development specialists, trainers,
community and public relations,
double basals teachers, head nurses, supervisors
entrepreneurs, geologists, architects,
frontal rights
illustrators, woodcraftsmen,
organisational development specialists,
double rights teachers, emergency doctors, dancers,
painters, poets,
double rights
counsellors, psychologists, therapists,
with basal
actors, musicians, interior decorators,
right leads
double rights
counsellors, psychologists, therapists,
with frontal
psychiatrists
right leads
inventors, chemists and chemical
engineers, research scientists, economists,
double frontals
surgeons, hospital administrators, poets,
composers, painters
basal journalists, librarians, community

left/frontal
organisers,
rights
triple-brain
double right
(right basal poets, composers
leads) with
frontal lefts
triple-brain
double left
visionary leaders
with frontal
right leads
whole-brained leaders of large complex concerns
Benziger model and other systems
Katherine Benziger makes several fascinating comparisons
between the Benziger brain type model and other
personality and behaviour systems:
Irwin Thompson's Archetypes in History (c 1970)
Hunter military general frontal left
Leader administrative leader basal left
Shaman spiritual leader basal right
leader in impossible
Fool front right
situations
DISC/Four Temperaments/Thomas
International/Performax etc (common usage in
business since 1980's but the model has been around
since ancient Greece)
authoritative, decision- double frontal,
Dominance
making, results-driven extraverted*
motivates, inspires,
double right,
Influence enthuses, leads,
extraverted
persuades
reliable, listens, follows double basal,
Steadiness
routines and rules introverted

detailed, critical
Compliance double left, introverted
thinking, accurate
*See the Carl Jung definitions below of extraversion and
introversion.
Carl Jung - Four Functions (c 1930)
analytic, objective,
Thinking principles, standards, frontal left
criteria, critiques
past, realistic, down-to-
Sensing basal left
earth, practical, sensible
subjective, personal,
valuing intimacy,
Feeling basal right
extenuating circumstances,
humane, harmony
hunches, futures,
Intuition speculative, fantasy, front right
imaginative
behaviour directed inwardly
Introversion to understand and manage
self and experience
behaviour directly
Extraversion externally, to influence
outside factors and events
Brain type, friendships, marriage and mating
Dr Benziger also makes interesting observations about
relationships:
Most of us select friends who mirror our brain types. We do
this because we feel comfortable with people whose mental
preferences are like our own. If we find a friend with a near-
identical brain type they are likely to become a 'best friend'.
The four most common brain developed patterns are: Double
Basal, Double Left, Double Frontal and Double Right. As a
rule people with such developed patterns find and make
friends easiest, because there are simply more of them

around than any other developed brain patterns. Single-
brained people and multi-dominant triple- and whole-brained
people find it more difficult to find friends, especially close
friends because, simply there are not many people who have
developed so many modes.
The search for a marriage and mating partner is different.
Rather than try to 'mirror', we tend to choose marriage and
mating partners with brain types that will complement our
own, that will cover our weaknesses.
Understanding your own brain type, and therefore strengths
and weaknesses, is helpful for self-development, managing
relationships, managing teams, and generally being as
fulfilled in life as we can be. Knowing your own strengths
gives you confidence to take on responsibilities and projects
in your own skill areas, and knowing your own weaknesses
shows you where you need to seek help and advice.
The Brain Type model also explains very clearly that hardly
anyone is good at everything, and even those who are, have
other issues and challenges that result from their multi-
skilled nature.
If you want to know more about Dr Benziger's theory visit
Katherine Benziger's website, where more information and
assessments are available.
If you'd like general advice about using assessment and
testing within your own organisation, for recruitment and
selection, management and leadership development,
training or counselling, please contact us.

douglas mcgregor - theory x y
Douglas Mcgregor's XY Theory, managing an X Theory
boss, and William Ouchi's Theory Z
Douglas McGregor, an American social psychologist,
proposed his famous X-Y theory in his 1960 book 'The Human
Side Of Enterprise'. Theory x and theory y are still referred to
commonly in the field of management and motivation, and
whilst more recent studies have questioned the rigidity of
the model, Mcgregor's X-Y Theory remains a valid basic
principle from which to develop positive management style
and techniques. McGregor's XY Theory remains central to
organizational development, and to improving organizational
culture.
McGregor's X-Y theory is a salutary and simple reminder of
the natural rules for managing people, which under the
pressure of day-to-day business are all too easily forgotten.
McGregor maintained that there are two fundamental
approaches to managing people. Many managers tend
towards theory x, and generally get poor results. Enlightened
managers use theory y, which produces better performance
and results, and allows people to grow and develop.
theory x ('authoritarian management' style)
The average person dislikes work and will avoid it
he/she can.
Therefore most people must be forced with the threat of
punishment to work towards organisational objectives.
The average person prefers to be directed; to avoid
responsibility; is relatively unambitious, and wants
security above all else.
theory y ('participative management' style)
Effort in work is as natural as work and play.

People will apply self-control and self-direction in the
pursuit of organisational objectives, without external
control or the threat of punishment.
Commitment to objectives is a function of rewards
associated with their achievement.
People usually accept and often seek responsibility.
The capacity to use a high degree of imagination,
ingenuity and creativity in solving organisational
problems is widely, not narrowly, distributed in the
population.
In industry the intellectual potential of the average
person is only partly utilised.
theory xy diagram
xy theory test - personal and organizational
characteristics of the x theory manager
What are the characteristics of a Theory X manager?
Typically some, most or all of these:
results-driven and deadline-driven, to the exclusion of
everything else
intolerant
issues deadlines and ultimatums
distant and detached
aloof and arrogant
elitist
short temper
shouts
issues instructions, directions, edicts
issues threats to make people follow instructions

demands, never asks
does not participate
does not team-build
unconcerned about staff welfare, or morale
proud, sometimes to the point of self-destruction
one-way communicator
poor listener
fundamentally insecure and possibly neurotic
anti-social
vengeful and recriminatory
does not thank or praise
withholds rewards, and suppresses pay and
remunerations levels
scrutinises expenditure to the point of false economy
seeks culprits for failures or shortfalls
seeks to apportion blame instead of focusing on
learning from the experience and preventing recurrence
does not invite or welcome suggestions
takes criticism badly and likely to retaliate if from below
or peer group
poor at proper delegating - but believes they delegate
well
thinks giving orders is delegating
holds on to responsibility but shifts accountability to
subordinates
relatively unconcerned with investing in anything to
gain future improvements

unhappy
how you can manage upwards your X theory boss:
Working for an X theory boss isn't easy - some extreme X
theory managers make extremely unpleasant managers, but
there are ways of managing these people upwards. Avoiding
confrontation (unless you are genuinely being bullied, which
is a different matter) and delivering results are the key
tactics.
Theory X managers (or indeed theory Y managers
displaying theory X behaviour) are primarily results
oriented - so orientate your your own discussions and
dealings with them around results - ie what you can
deliver and when.
Theory X managers are facts and figures oriented - so
cut out the incidentals, be able to measure and
substantiate anything you say and do for them,
especially reporting on results and activities.
Theory X managers generally don't understand or have
an interest in the human issues, so don't try to appeal
to their sense of humanity or morality. Set your own
objectives to meet their organisational aims and agree
these with the managers; be seen to be self-starting,
self-motivating, self-disciplined and well-organised - the
more the X theory manager sees you are managing
yourself and producing results, the less they'll feel the
need to do it for you.
Always deliver your commitments and promises. If you
are given an unrealistic task and/or deadline state the
reasons why it's not realistic, but be very sure of your
ground, don't be negative; be constructive as to how
the overall aim can be achieved in a way that you know
you can deliver.
Stand up for yourself, but constructively - avoid
confrontation. Never threaten or go over their heads if

you are dissatisfied or you'll be in big trouble afterwards
and life will be a lot more difficult.
If an X theory boss tells you how to do things in ways
that are not comfortable or right for you, then don't
questioning the process, simply confirm the end-result
that is required, and check that it's okay to 'streamline
the process' or 'get things done more efficiently' if the
chance arises - they'll normally agree to this, which
effectively gives you control over the 'how', provided
you deliver the 'what' and 'when'.
And this is really the essence of managing upwards X theory
managers - focus and get agreement on the results and
deadlines - if you consistently deliver, you'll increasingly be
given more leeway on how you go about the tasks, which
amounts to more freedom. Be aware also that many X theory
managers are forced to be X theory by the short-term
demands of the organisation and their own superiors - an X
theory manager is usually someone with their own problems,
so try not to give them any more.
theory z - william ouchi

First things first - Theory Z is not a Mcgregor idea and as
such is not Mcgregor's extension of his XY theory.
Theory Z was developed by not by Mcgregor, but by William
Ouchi, in his book 1981 'Theory Z: How American
management can Meet the Japanese Challenge'. William
Ouchi is professor of management at UCLA, Los Angeles, and
a board member of several large US organisations.
Theory Z is often referred to as the 'Japanese' management
style, which is essentially what it is. It's interesting that
Ouchi chose to name his model 'Theory Z', which apart from
anything else tends to give the impression that it's a
Mcgregor idea. One wonders if the idea was not considered
strong enough to stand alone with a completely new name...
Nevertheless, Theory Z essentially advocates a combination
of all that's best about theory Y and modern Japanese

management, which places a large amount of freedom and
trust with workers, and assumes that workers have a strong
loyalty and interest in team-working and the organisation.
Theory Z also places more reliance on the attitude and
responsibilities of the workers, whereas Mcgregor's XY theory
is mainly focused on management and motivation from the
manager's and organisation's perspective. There is no doubt
that Ouchi's Theory Z model offers excellent ideas, albeit it
lacking the simple elegance of Mcgregor's model, which let's
face it, thousands of organisations and managers around the
world have still yet to embrace. For this reason, Theory Z
may for some be like trying to manage the kitchen at the
Ritz before mastering the ability to cook a decent fried
breakfast.
If you're interested in Mcgregor's X-Y Theory, you can view

and download a free McGregor XY Theory Test, which
indicates whether your organisation is more theory-X or
theory-Y, as well as indicating the individual's preference to
be managed by X or Y style, and a free XY Theory
diagram, ideal for training, presentations and project work,
at the businessballs free online resources section.

problem-solving and decision-making
simple process for problem-solving and decision-
making
Problem solving and decision-making are important skills for
business and life. Problem-solving often involves decision-
making, and decision-making is especially important for
management and leadership. There are processes and
techniques to improve decision-making and the quality of
decisions. Decision-making is more natural to certain
personalities, so these people should focus more on
improving the quality of their decisions. People that are less
natural decision-makers are often able to make quality
assessments, but then need to be more decisive in acting
upon the assessments made. Problem-solving and decision-
making are closely linked, and each requires creativity in
identifying and developing options, for which the
brainstorming technique is particularly useful. See also the
free SWOT analysis template and examples, and PEST
analysis template, which help decision-making and problem-
solving. SWOT analysis helps assess the strength of a
company, a business proposition or idea; PEST analysis helps
to assess the potential and suitability of a market. Good
decision-making requires a mixture of skills: creative
development and identification of options, clarity of
judgement, firmness of decision, and effective
implementation. For group problem-solving and decision-
making, or when a consensus is required, workshops help,
within which you can incorporate these tools and process as
appropriate. Here are some useful methods for effective
decision-making and problem-solving: First a simple step-by-
step process for effective decision-making and problem-
solving.
decision-making process
1. Define and clarify the issue - does it warrant action? If
so, now? Is the matter urgent, important or both.

2. Gather all the facts and understand their causes.
3. Think about or brainstorm possible options and
solutions. (See brainstorming process)
4. Consider and compare the pros and cons of each option
- consult if necessary - it probably will be.
5. Select the best option - avoid vagueness or 'foot in both
camps' compromise.
6. Explain your decision to those involved and affected,
and follow up to ensure proper and effective
implementation.
Two decision-making maxims will help to reinforce the above
decision-making process whether related to problem-solving
or not:
"We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of
the road. They get run down." (Aneurin Bevan - more
maxims on the quotes page)
JFDI - Just Frigging Do it (polite version). The decision-
maker's motto. There are usually several right answers when
you are faced with a complex decision. When you've found
the best solution you can find, get on with it, make it work,
and it most probably will. (More useful rules, acronyms and
training ideas on the acronyms page)
pro's and con's decision-making method
Another simple process for decision-making is the pro's and
con's list.
Some decisions are a simple matter of whether to make a
change or not, such as moving, taking a new job, or buying
something, selling something, replacing something, etc.
Other decisions involve number of options, and are
concerned more with how to do something, involving a
number of choices. Use the brainstorming process to identify
and develop options for decision-making and problem-
solving.

1. First you will need a separate sheet for each identified
option.
2. On each sheet write clearly the option concerned, and
then beneath it the headings 'pro's' and 'con's' (or
'advantages' and disadvantages', or simply 'for' and
'against'). Many decisions simply involve the choice of
whether to go ahead or not, to change or not; in these
cases you need only one sheet.
3. Then write down as many effects and implications of
the particular option that you (and others if
appropriate) can think of, placing each in the relevant
column.
4. If helpful 'weight' each factor, by giving it a score out of
three or five points (eg., 5 being extremely significant,
and 1 being of minor significance).
5. When you have listed all the points you can think of for
the option concerned compare the number or total
score of the items/effects/factors between the two
columns.
6. This will provide a reflection and indication as to the
overall attractiveness and benefit of the option
concerned. If you have scored each item you will
actually be able to arrive at a total score, being the
difference between the pro's and con's column totals.
The bigger the difference between the total pro's and
total con's then the more attractive the option is.
7. If you have a number of options and have complete a
pro's and con's sheet for each option, compare the
attractiveness - points difference between pro's and
con's - for each option. The biggest positive difference
between pro's and con's is the most attractive option.
8. N.B. If you don't like the answer that the
decision-making sheet(s) reflect back to you, it
means you haven't included all the con's -
especially the emotional ones, or you haven't

scored the factors consistently, so re-visit the
sheet(s) concerned.
You will find that writing things down in this way will help you
to see things more clearly, become more objective and
detached, which will help you to make clearer decisions.
example pro's and con's weighted decision-making
sheet
decision option: should I buy a new car?
pro's con's
cost outlay will mean making
better comfort (3)
sacrifices (5)
lower fuel costs (3) higher insurance (3)
time and hassle to choose and
lower servicing costs (4)
buy it (2)
better for family use (3) disposal or sale of old car (2)
big decisions like this scare
better reliability (5)
and upset me (4)
it'll be a load off my mind (2)
total 6 pro's, total score total 5 con's, total score

20 16
On the basis of the pro's and con's, and the weighting

applied, in the above example there's a clear overall
quantifiable benefit attached to the decision to go ahead and
buy a new car. Notice that it's even possible to include
'intangible' emotional issues in the pro's and con's
comparison, for example 'it'll be a load off my mind', and
'decisions scare and upset me'. A decision-making pro's and
con's list like this helps remove the emotion which blocks
clear thinking and decision-making - you can now see the
wood for the trees again, and make a confident decision.

running meetings
planning and running effective meetings for business,
corporate, sales, managing, mediation, strategic
planning and team-building
Here are the rules for running meetings. Meetings are vital
for management and communication. Properly run meetings
save time, increase motivation, productivity, and solve
problems. Meetings create new ideas and initiatives.
Meetings achieve buy-in. Meetings prevent 'not invented
here' syndrome. Meetings diffuse conflict in a way that
emails and memos cannot. Meetings are effective because
the written word only carries 7% of the true meaning and
feeling. Meetings are better than telephone conferences
because only 38% of the meaning and feeling is carried in
the way that things are said. The other 55% of the meaning
and feeling is carried in facial expression and non-verbal
signals. That's why meetings are so useful. (Statistics from
research by Dr Albert Mehrabian.)
Hold meetings, even if it's difficult to justify the time. Plan,
run and follow up meetings properly, and they will repay the
cost many times over. Hold meetings to manage teams and
situations, and achieve your objectives quicker, easier, at
less cost. Hold effective meetings to make people happier
and more productive. Brainstorming meetings are immensely
powerful for team-building, creativity, decision-making and
problem-solving (see the brainstorming section).
But do it properly. Badly run meetings waste time, money,
resources, and are worse than having no meetings at all. So
learn these simple rules and use them.
see also how to run workshops and workshop
meetings
meetings - basic rules
1. plan - use the agenda as a planning tool (see
'POSTAD TV' acronym below)

2. circulate agenda in advance
3. run the meeting - keep control, agree outcomes,
actions and responsibilities, take notes
4. write and circulate notes
5. follow up agreed actions and responsibilities
Meetings come in all shapes and sizes, and for lots of
purposes.
Meeting purposes include:
giving information
training
discussion (leading to an objective)
generating ideas
planning
workshops
consulting and getting feedback
finding solutions/solving problems
crisis management
performance reporting/assessment
setting targets and objectives
setting tasks and delegating
making decisions
conveying /clarifying policy issues
team building
motivating
special subjects - guest speakers

inter-departmental - process improvement
The acronym POSTAD TV shows you how to plan effective
meetings, and particularly how to construct the meeting
agenda, and then notify the meeting delegates:
Priorities, Outcomes, Sequence, Timings, Agenda, Date,
Time, Venue.

meeting priorities
What is the meeting's purpose? Always have one; otherwise
don't have a meeting. Decide the issues for inclusion in the
meeting and their relative priority: importance and urgency.
You can avoid the pressure for 'Any Other Business' at the
end of the meeting if you circulate a draft agenda in advance
of the meeting, and ask for any other items for
consideration. ('Any Other Business' often creates a free-for-
all session that wastes time, and gives rise to new tricky
expectations, which if not managed properly then closes the
meeting on a negative note.)
meeting outcomes
Decide what outcome (ie what is the purpose) you seek for
each issue, and put this on the agenda alongside the item
heading. This is important as people need to know what is
expected of them, and each item will be more productive
with a clear aim at the outset. Typical outcomes are:
Decision
Discussion
Information
Planning (eg workshop session)
Generating ideas
Getting feedback
Finding solutions
Agreeing (targets, budgets, aims, etc)
Policy statement
Team-building/motivation
Guest speaker - information, initiatives, etc
meeting sequence

Put the less important issues at the top of the agenda, not
the bottom. If you put them on the bottom you may never
get to them. Ensure any urgent issues are placed up the
agenda. Non-urgent items place down the agenda - if you
are going to miss any you can more easily afford to miss
these.
Try to achieve a varied sequence - don't put all the heavy
controversial items together - mix it up.
meeting timings (of agenda items)
Decide the length of the meeting, and allocate a realistic
time slot for each item. Do not try to pack too much in - keep
it realistic - things generally take longer than you think.
Long meetings involving travel for delegates require pre-
meeting refreshments 30 minutes prior to the actual
meeting start time.
Put lots of breaks into long meetings. Unless people are
participating and fully involved, their concentration begins to
drop after just 45 minutes. Breaks don't all need to be 20
minutes for coffee and cigarettes. Five minutes every hour
for a quick breath of fresh air and leg-stretch will keep
people attentive.
Unless you have a specific reason for arranging one, avoid
formal sit-down restaurant lunches - they'll add at least 30
minutes unnecessarily to the lunch break, and the whole
thing makes people drowsy. Working lunches are great, but
make sure you give people 10-15 minutes to get some fresh
air and move about outside the meeting room. If the venue
is only able to provide lunch in the restaurant arrange a
buffet, or ensure delegates' menu choices are decided well
before lunch-time.
meeting attendees
It's often obvious who should attend; sometimes it isn't.
Consider inviting representatives from other departments to
your own department meetings - they will appreciate being

asked, and it will help their understanding of your issues.
Having outside guests from internal and external suppliers
helps build relationships and strengthen the chain of supply,
and they can often also shed new light on difficult issues too.
Use your discretion though - certain sensitive issues should
obviously not be aired with 'outsiders' present. Avoid and
resist senior managers and directors attending your
meetings unless you can be sure that their presence will not
be intimidating. Senior people are often quick to criticise and
pressurise without knowing the facts, which can damage
team relationships, morale, motivation and trust. If you must
have the boss at your meeting, try to limit their involvement
to lunch only, or presenting the awards at the end of the
meeting. In any event, tell your boss what you are trying to
achieve at the meeting and how - this gives you more
chance in controlling possible interference.
meeting date
Ensure the date you choose causes minimum disruption for
all concerned. It's increasingly difficult to gather people for
meetings, particularly from different departments or
organisations. So take care when finding the best date - it's a
very important part of the process. Don't expect it to be
easy, particularly if quite senior people are involved. For
meetings that repeat on a regular basis the easiest way to
set dates is to agree them in advance at the first meeting
when everyone can commit there and then to their diaries.
Try to schedule a year's worth of meetings if possible, then
you can circulate and publish the dates, which helps greatly
to ensure people keep to them and that no other priorities
encroach. pre-planing meeting dates is one of the keys to
achieving control and well-organised meetings.
meeting time
Times to start and finish depend on the type and duration of
the meeting and the attendees' availability, but generally try
to start early, or finish at the end of the working day. Two-
hour meetings in the middle of the day waste a lot of time in
travel. Breakfast meetings are a good idea in certain

cultures, but can be too demanding in more relaxed
environments. If attendees' have long distances to travel (ie
more than a couple of hours, consider overnight
accommodation on the night before. If the majority have to
stay overnight it's often worth getting the remainder to do so
as well because the team building benefits from evening
socialising are considerable, and well worth the cost of a
hotel room. overnight accommodation the night before also
allows for a much earlier start. By the same token, consider
people's travelling times after the meeting, and don't be
unreasonable - again offer overnight accommodation if
warranted - it will allow a later finish, and keep people
happier and more motivated.
meeting venue
Venue choice is critical for certain sensitive meetings, but far
less so for routine, in-house gatherings. Whatever, there are
certain preparations that are essential, and never leave it all
to the hotel conference organiser or your own facilities
department. They do their best but they're not you, and they
can't know exactly what you want. You must ensure the room
is right - mainly, big enough with all relevant equipment and
services. It's too late to start hunting for a 20 ft power
extension lead five minutes before the meeting starts. Other
aspects that you need to check or even set up personally
are:
table and seating layout
top-table (if relevant) position
tables for demonstration items, paperwork, hand-outs,
etc
electricity power points and extensions
heating and lighting controls
projection and flip chart equipment positioning and
correct operation
whereabouts of toilets and emergency exits - fire drill

confirm reception and catering arrangements
back-up equipment contingency
All of the above can and will go wrong unless you check and
confirm - when you book the venue and then again a few
days before the meeting. For a big important meeting, you
should also arrive an hour early to check everything is as
you want it. Some meetings are difficult enough without
having to deal with domestic or logistics emergencies; and
remember if anything goes wrong it reflects on you - you
lose credibility, reputation and control.
Positioning of seating and tables are crucial. Ensure the
layout is appropriate for the occasion:
Presentations to large groups - theatre-style - the
audience in rows, preferably with tables, facing the
chairman.
Medium-sized participative meetings - horse-shoe (U)
table layout with the open part of the U facing the
chairman's table.
Small meetings for debate and discussion - board-room
style - one rectangular table with chairman at one end.
Your own positioning in relation to the group is important. If
you are confident and comfortable and your authority is in
no doubt you should sit close to the others, and can even sit
among people. If you expect challenge or need to control the
group strongly set yourself further away and clearly central,
behind a top-table at the head of things.
Ensure everyone can see screens and flip charts properly -
actually sit in the chairs to check - you'll be surprised how
poor the view is from certain positions. You don't need an
acetate to check the focus of an overhead projector - laying
a pen on the glass works just as well.
Set up of projectors and screens is important - strive for the
perfect square image, as this gives a professional, controlled
impression as soon as you start. Experiment with the

adjustment of projector and screen until it's how you want it.
If you are using LCD projector and overhead projector you
may need two screens. A plain white wall is often better than
a poor screen.
People from the western world read from left to right, so if
you want to present anything in order using different media,
set it up so that people can follow it naturally from left to
right. For instance show introductory bullet points (say on a
flip chart on the left - as the audience sees it) and the detail
for each point (say on projector and screen on the right).
Position screens and flip chart where you can use them
comfortably without obscuring the view.
Ensure extension leads and loose wiring is taped to the floor
or otherwise covered and protected.
Supply additional flip chart easels and paper, or write-on
acetates and pens, for syndicate work if applicable. You can
also ask people to bring laptops for exercises and
presentation to the group assuming you have LCD projector
is available and compatible.
If there are strong lights above the screen that cannot be
switched off independently, you may be able to temporarily
disconnect them by removing the starter (if fluorescent - the
starter is a small plastic cylinder plugged into the side of the
tube holder). In older buildings temporarily remove offending
light-bulbs if they are spoiling the visual display, but
remember to put these things back, and preferably try to
enlist the help of one of the staff before resorting to DIY.
Finally, look after the venue's staff - you need them on your
side. Most business users treat hotel and conference staff
disdainfully - show them some respect and appreciation and
they will be more than helpful.
meeting planner checklist

There's a lot to remember, so, particularly for big important
meetings and training sessions, use a meetings checklist to
make sure you plan properly and don't miss anything:
Meetings Checklist
done comments date/ref
Agenda
Priorities
Outcomes
Sequence
Timings
Attendees
Date
Time
Venue
Variety
Notification
Notes of last meeting
Directions/map
Materials (as required by
agenda items)
Reference material for ad-
hoc queries
Results and performance
data
Equipment (make
separate check-list)
Electrical Power (if
applicable)
Domestics
Catering arrangements
Note-paper, pens, name-
plates

Refreshments
Guest care/instructions
meeting agenda
Produce the meeting agenda. This is the tool with which you
control the meeting. Include all the relevant information and
circulate it in advance. If you want to avoid having the
ubiquitous and time-wasting 'Any Other Business' on your
agenda, circulate the agenda well in advance and ask for
additional items to be submitted for consideration.
Formal agendas for board meetings and committees will
normally have an established fixed format, which applies for
every meeting. This type of formal agenda normally begins
with:
1. apologies for absence
2. approval of previous meeting's minutes (notes)
3. matters arising (from last meeting)
and then the main agenda, finishing with 'any other
business'.
For more common, informal meetings (departmental, sales
teams, projects, ad-hoc issues, etc), try to avoid the
formality and concentrate on practicality. For each item,
explain the purpose, and if a decision is required, say so. If
it's a creative item, say so. If it's for information, say so. Put
timings, or time-per-item, or both (having both is helpful for
you as the chairman). If you have guest speakers or
presenters for items, name them. Plan coffee breaks and a
lunch break if relevant, and ensure the caterers are
informed. Aside from these formal breaks you should allow
natural 'comfort' breaks every 45-60 minutes, or people lose
concentration and the meeting becomes less productive.

sample meeting agenda
(Meeting Title) Monthly Sales Meeting - New Co -
Southern Region
(Venue, Time, Date) Conference Room, New Co,
Newtown - 0900hrs Monday 16/07/01
Agenda
Coffee available from 0830hrs - Dress is smart casual.
New starters Sue Smith and

Warm up and Ken Brown. Guests are Jane
09:00
introductions. Green, Fleet Manager; Jim
15
Long, Off-shore Product
Manager; and Bill Sykes,
Tech-range Chief Engineer.
Revised procedures for
Health and safety hazardous chemicals at
09:15 15
update. Main Street production
facility.
Tech-range Model 3 now has
Product revision stand-by mode control.
09:30 30
update. Product will be
demonstrated.
Chance for hands-on the
10:00 Coffee 15
new Model 3.
Ensure you bring qtr2
forecast data and be
Sales results &
10:15 prepared to present 60
forecasts.
prospect lists and
activities.
The new Digi-range is
launched in month five.
11:15 New product launch. Product demonstrations and
presentation of 60
performance data, USP's,
benefits for key sectors, and
details of launch promotion.

Brainstorm session - How
Major accounts can we accelerate major
12:30
initiatives. accounts development in
45
offshore sector? - Do some
preparatory thinking about
this please.
13:15 Lunch Buffet in the meeting room. 45
The new Digi-range is
launched in month five.
14:00 New product launch. Product demonstrations and
presentation of 120
performance data, USP's,
benefits for key sectors, and
details of launch promotion.
16:00 Coffee 30
Presentation from Fleet
New Company Car
16:30 Manager Jane Green about 45
Scheme.
the new car scheme.
Qtr 1 Sales Awards and
17:15 Awards and Incentive. launch of Qtr 2 Sales 45
Incentive.
Meeting review,
18:00 30
questions, close.

running the meeting
The key to success is keeping control. You do this by sticking
to the agenda, managing the relationships and personalities,
and concentrating on outcomes. Meetings must have a
purpose. Every item must have a purpose. Remind yourself
and the group of the required outcomes and steer the
proceedings towards making progress, not hot air.
Politely suppress the over-zealous, and encourage the
nervous. Take notes as you go, recording the salient points
and the agreed actions, with names, measurable outcomes
and deadlines. Do not record everything word-for-word, and
if you find yourself taking over the chairmanship of a
particularly stuffy group which produces reams of notes and
very little else, then change things. Concentrate on
achieving the outcomes you set the meeting when you drew
up the agenda. Avoid racing away with decisions if your aim
was simply discussion and involving people. Avoid hours of
discussion if you simply need a decision. Avoid debate if you
simply need to convey a policy issue. Policy is policy and that
is that.
Defer new issues to another time. Practice and use the
phrase 'You may have a point, but it's not for this meeting -
we'll discuss it another time.' (And then remember to do it.)
If you don't know the answer say so - be honest - don't
waffle - say that you'll get back to everyone with the answer,
or append it to the meeting notes.
If someone persistently moans on about a specific issue that
is not on the agenda, quickly translate it into a simple
exploratory or investigative project, and bounce it back to
them, with a deadline to report back their findings and
recommendations to you.
Use the rules on delegation to help you manage people and
tasks and outcomes through meetings.

Always look at how people are behaving in meetings - look
for signs of tiredness, exasperation, and confusion, and take
necessary action.
As a general rule, don't deviate from the agenda, but if
things get very heavy, and the next item is very heavy too,
swap it around for something participative coming later on
the agenda - a syndicate exercise, or a team game, a quiz,
etc.
meetings notes or meetings minutes
Who takes the meeting notes or minutes, keeps command
(minutes is a more traditional term, and today describes
more formal meetings notes).
You must take the notes yourself, unless the meeting format
dictates a formal secretary, in which case ensure the
secretary is on your side. Normally you'll be able to take the
notes. They are your instrument of control, so don't shirk it
or give them to someone else as the 'short straw'.
If you are seen to take the notes, two things happen:
people respect you for not forcing them to do it
people see that you are recording agreed actions, so
there's no escaping them
Meeting notes are essential for managing meeting actions
and outcomes. They also cement agreements and clarify
confusions. They also prevent old chestnuts reappearing. A
meeting without notes is mostly pointless. Actions go
unrecorded and therefore forgotten. Attendees feel that the
meeting was largely pointless because there's no published
record.
After the meeting, type the notes (it's usually quicker for you
to do it), and circulate them straight away, copy to all
attendees, including date of next meeting if applicable, and
copy to anyone else who should see the notes.

The notes should be brief or people won't read them, but
they must still be precise and clear. Include relevant facts,
figures, accountabilities, actions and timescales. Any agreed
actions must be clearly described, with person or persons
named responsible, with a deadline. See again rules of
delegation. Use the acronym SMART for any agreed action
(Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic, Timebound). See
more acronyms for meetings and training sessions on the
acronyms page, there are lots of useful tips there.
The final crucial element is following up the agreed actions
(your own included). If you run a great meeting, issue great
notes, and then fail to ensure the actions are completed, all
is lost, not least your credibility. You must follow up agreed
actions and hold people to them. If you don't they will very
soon learn that they can ignore these agreements every
time - negative conditioning - it's the death of managing
teams and results. By following up agreed actions, at future
meetings particularly, (when there is an eager audience
waiting to see who's delivered and who hasn't), you will
positively condition your people to respond and perform, and
you will make meetings work for you and your team.
See also the brainstorming meeting techniques.
mediation and running mediation meetings

Ensure you have a clear agenda - ensure both sides submit
items for inclusion - the agenda is the method by which you
control the meeting (timings, items being discussed, staying
on track, realistically intended outcomes from agenda
items).
Keep insisting that each side really truly tries to learn and
understand the other side's aims, objectives, feelings,
background etc. Understanding is different to agreeing - very
important to keep explaining this - by understanding each
other there can be constructive debate towards agreement,
without understanding, any agreement is impossible, so too
is sensible adult discussion.

Try to agree the meeting aims with the attendees before the
start - important to keep this realistic - don't try to reach
agreement too early - concentrate on developing mutual
understanding and to diffuse conflict and emotional issues
which make it impossible to move on any further.
If the gulf is too big to make any progress at all, suggest a
job swap or shadow for a week - the chief of each side
should experience the other side's challenges and day-to-
day difficulties. This will certainly improve mutual
understanding and can accelerate improvement in co-
operation and agreement.
Follow the rules of running meetings where helpful so that
you plan the meeting and keep control.
When you seat people at the meeting mix them up to avoid
adversarial one-side-facing-the-other situation, which will
happen unless you split them up.
strategic planning, goal setting meetings

Here's a simple process for an effective strategic planning
meeting:
(This assumes that necessary market research and
consultation with staff, customers and suppliers has already
taken place.)
Start with the vision - what do we want this business to be in
two years time?... infrastructure, staff, structure,
communications and IT, customers, markets, services,
products, partners, routes to market, quality and mission
values, broad numbers and financials.
If delegate numbers permit, allocate syndicates a number of
aspects each. Change groups as appropriate, move between
whole group brainstorms to small group syndicates sessions.
If appropriate use coloured modelling clay and/or
construction kits to provide an interesting way for delegates
to express shape, structure, etc., for each vision aspect

(many people do not work well using only verbal or written
media - shape and touch are essential to the creative
process).
Then work on the necessary enablers, obstacles, cause-and-
effect steps along the way for each aspect aim. This will
result in the basic timescale and strategic plan.
And to add an extra dimension to the meeting and planning
process - and too reinforce relationships with your most
important customers, suppliers and partners - invite some of
them along to the meeting to contribute, validate ideas and
collaborate. It's a particularly useful way to make the the
session more dynamic and meaningful, as well as keeping
the focus on the real world.
See also the section on workshop meetings for team
building, motivation and performance and change
management.

brainstorming process
brainstorming technique for problem-solving, team-
building and creative process
Brainstorming with a group of people is a powerful
technique. Brainstorming creates new ideas, solves
problems, motivates and develops teams. Brainstorming
motivates because it involves members of a team in bigger
management issues, and it gets a team working together.
However, brainstorming is not simply a random activity.
Brainstorming needs to be structured and it follows
brainstorming rules. The brainstorming process is described
below, for which you will need a flip-chart or alternative. This
is crucial as Brainstorming needs to involve the team, which
means that everyone must be able to see what's happening.
Brainstorming places a significant burden on the facilitator to
manage the process, people's involvement and sensitivities,
and then to manage the follow up actions. Use Brainstorming
well and you will see excellent results in improving the
organization, performance, and developing the team.
N.B. If political correctness is an important consideration for
you: it's worth noting that the term 'brainstorming' may be
regarded by some as not 'politically correct' because of
potential offence towards sufferers of brain seizures. The
alternative? Wait for it....... 'thought-showers', which may be
politically correct, but is also plainly daft ...... (Ack PB).
brainstorming process
1. Define and agree the objective.
2. Brainstorm ideas and suggestions having agreed a time
limit.
3. Categorise/condense/combine/refine.
4. Assess/analyse effects or results.
5. Prioritise options/rank list as appropriate.
6. Agree action and timescale.

7. Control and monitor follow-up.
In other words:

plan and agree the brainstorming aim
Ensure everyone participating in the brainstorm session
understands and agrees the aim of the session (eg, to
formulate a new job description for a customer services
clerk; to formulate a series of new promotional activities for
the next trading year; to suggest ways of improving
cooperation between the sales and service departments; to
identify costs saving opportuntities that will not reduce
performance or morale, etc). Keep the brainstorming
objective simple. Allocate a time limit. This will enable you to
keep the random brainstorming activity under control and on
track.
manage the actual brainstorming activity
Brainstorming enables people to suggest ideas at random.
Your job as facilitator is to encourage everyone to
participate, to dismiss nothing, and to prevent others from
pouring scorn on the wilder suggestions (some of the best
ideas are initially the daftest ones - added to which people
won't participate if their suggestions are criticised). During
the random collection of ideas the facilitator must record
every suggestion on the flip-chart. Use Blu-Tack or sticky
tape to hang the sheets around the walls. At the end of the
time limit or when ideas have been exhausted, use different
coloured pens to categorise, group, connect and link the
random ideas. Condense and refine the ideas by making new
headings or lists. You can diplomatically combine or include
the weaker ideas within other themes to avoid dismissing or
rejecting contributions (remember brainstorming is about
team building and motivation too - you don't want it to have
the reverse effect on some people). With the group, assess,
evaluate and analyse the effects and validity of the ideas or
the list. Develop and prioritise the ideas into a more finished
list or set of actions or options.
implement the actions agreed from the brainstorming
Agree what the next actions will be. Agree a timescale, who's
responsible. After the session circulate notes, monitor and

give feedback. It's crucial to develop a clear and positive
outcome, so that people feel their effort and contribution
was worthwhile. When people see that their efforts have
resulted in action and change, they will be motivated and
keen to help again.
See the guidelines for running workshops. Workshops
provide good situations for brainstorming, and brainstorming
helps to make workshops more productive, motivational and
successful.
See also various tools and models which can be used within
the brainstorming process, to build and create a context for
brainstorming, and a framework for brainstorming actions.
When using any of these tools or models within the
brainstorming process, select models appropriate to the
group, and the desired development and outcomes for the
brainstorming session:
SWOT analysis - for assessing the strength of a company,
department, proposition or idea.
PEST analysis - for measuring the attractiveness and
potential of a market.
The McKinsey Seven-S's - criteria for a successful company
Action-centred leadership model - management of people
criteria
Adizes corporate life-cycle model - phases of company
development
Delegation model - succcessful task delegation and staff
development through delegation
Tuckman's group development model - forming, storming,
norming, performing
Kolb's learning styles - for training the trainers, coaching the
coaches, and management development
Leadership attributes - for developing leadership among
managers

Negotiation process - for sales and commercial staff and
optimising on profitable outcomes and customer
relationships
Cherie Carter-Scott's rules of life - behaviour and attitude
development and soft skills development
The Four Agreements - behaviour and attitude development
and soft skills development

swot analysis
SWOT analysis method and examples, with SWOT
template
The SWOT analysis is an extremely useful tool for
understanding and decision-making for all sorts of situations
in business and organizations. SWOT is an acronym for
Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats. The SWOT
analysis headings provide a good framework for reviewing
strategy, position and direction of a company or business
proposition, or any idea. Completing a SWOT analysis is very
simple, and is a good subject for workshop sessions. SWOT
analysis also works well in brainstorming meetings. Use
SWOT analysis for business planning, strategic planning,
competitor evaluation, marketing, business and product
development and research reports. You can also use SWOT
analysis exercises for team building games. See also PEST
analysis, which measures a business's market and potential
according to external factors; Political, Economic, Social and
Technological. It is often helpful to complete a PEST analysis
prior to a SWOT analysis.
A SWOT analysis measures a business unit, a proposition or
idea; a PEST analysis measures a market.
A SWOT analysis is a subjective assessment of data which is
organized by the SWOT format into a logical order that helps
understanding, presentation, discussion and decision-
making. The four dimensions are a useful extension of a
basic two heading list of pro's and con's (pro's and con's
template here).
SWOT analysis can be used for all sorts of decision-making,
and the SWOT template enables proactive thinking, rather
than relying on habitual or instinctive reactions.
The SWOT analysis template is normally presented as a grid,
comprising four sections, one for each of the SWOT
headings: Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and

Threats. The free SWOT template below includes sample
questions, whose answers are inserted into the relevant
section of the SWOT grid. The questions are examples, or
discussion points, and obviously can be altered depending
on the subject of the SWOT analysis. Note that many of the
SWOT questions are also talking points for other headings -
use them as you find most helpful, and make up your own to
suit the issue being analysed. It is important to clearly
identify the subject of a SWOT analysis, because a SWOT
analysis is a perspective of one thing, be it a company, a
product, a proposition, and idea, a method, or option, etc.
Here are some examples of what a SWOT analysis can be
used to assess:
a company (its position in the market, commercial
viability, etc)
a method of sales distribution
a product or brand
a business idea
a strategic option, such as entering a new market or
launching a new product
a opportunity to make an acquisition
a potential partnership
changing a supplier
outsourcing a service, activity or resource
an investment opportunity
Be sure to describe the subject for the SWOT analysis clearly
so that people contributing to the analysis, and those seeing
the finished SWOT analysis, properly understand the purpose
of the SWOT assessment and implications.
SWOT analysis template

Subject of SWOT analysis: (define the subject of
the analysis here)
strengths weaknesses
Advantages of Disadvantages of
proposition? proposition?
Capabilities? Gaps in capabilities?
Competitive Lack of competitive
advantages? strength?
USP's (unique Reputation, presence
selling points)? and reach?
Resources, Assets, Financials?
People?
Own known
Experience, vulnerabilities?
knowledge, data?
Timescales, deadlines
Financial reserves, and pressures?
likely returns?
Cashflow, start-up cash-
Marketing - reach, drain?
distribution,
awareness? Continuity, supply chain
robustness?
Innovative
aspects? Effects on core activities,
distraction?
Location and
geographical? Reliability of data, plan
predictability?
Price, value,
quality? Morale, commitment,
leadership?
Accreditations,
qualifications, Accreditations, etc?

certifications?
Processes,
systems, IT,
Processes and systems,
communications?
etc?
Cultural,
Management cover,
attitudinal,
succession?
behavioural?
Management
cover, succession?
opportunities threats
Market Political effects?
developments?
Legislative effects?
Competitors'
vulnerabilities? Environmental effects?
Industry or IT developments?
lifestyle trends? Competitor intentions -
Technology various?
development and Market demand?
innovation?
New technologies,
Global influences? services, ideas?
New markets, Vital contracts and
vertical, partners?
horizontal?
Sustaining internal
Niche target capabilities?
markets?
Obstacles faced?
Geographical,
export, import? Insurmountable
weaknesses?

New USP's?
Tactics - surprise,
major contracts,
etc?
Business and
product Loss of key staff?
development?
Sustainable financial
Information and backing?
research?
Economy - home,
Partnerships, abroad?
agencies,
distribution? Seasonality, weather
effects?
Volumes,
production,
economies?
Seasonal,
weather, fashion
influences?
swot analysis example

This SWOT analysis example is based on an imaginary
situation. The scenario is based on a business-to-business
manufacturing company, who historically rely on distributors
to take their products to the end user market. The
opportunity, and therefore the subject for the SWOT analysis,
is for the manufacturer to create a new company of its own
to distribute its products direct to certain end-user sectors,
which are not being covered or developed by its normal
distributors.
Subject of SWOT analysis example: the creation of

own distributor company to access new end-

user sectors not currently being developed.
strengths weaknesses
End-user sales control Customer lists not tested.
and direction.
Some gaps in range for
Right products, quality certain sectors.
and reliability.
We would be a small
Superior product player.
performance vs
competitors. No direct marketing
experience.
Better product life and
durability. We cannot supply end-
users abroad.
Spare manufacturing
capacity. Need more sales people.
Some staff have Limited budget.

experience of end-user No pilot or trial done yet.
sector.
Don't have a detailed
Have customer lists. plan yet.
Direct delivery capability. Delivery-staff need
Product innovations training.
ongoing. Customer service staff
Can serve from existing need training.
sites. Processes and systems,
Products have required etc
accreditations. Management cover
Processes and IT should insufficient.
cope.
Management is

committed and
confident.
opportunities
threats
Could develop new
products. Legislation could impact.
Local competitors have Environmental effects

poor products. would favour larger
competitors.
Profit margins will be
good. Existing core business
distribution risk.
End-users respond to
new ideas. Market demand very
seasonal.
Could extend to
overseas. Retention of key staff
critical.
New specialist
applications. Could distract from core
business.
Can surprise
competitors. Possible negative
publicity.
Support core business
economies. Vulnerable to reactive
attack by major
Could seek better competitors.
supplier deals.
See also the PEST analysis template and method, which

measures a business according to external factors; Political,
Economic, Social and Economic. It is often helpful to
complete a PEST analysis prior to competing a SWOT
analysis.

more on the difference and relationship between
PEST and SWOT
PEST is useful before SWOT - not generally vice-versa - PEST
definitely helps to identify SWOT factors. There is overlap
between PEST and SWOT, in that similar factors would
appear in each. That said, PEST and SWOT are certainly two
different perspectives:
PEST assesses a market, including competitors, from the
standpoint of a particular proposition or a business.
SWOT is an assessment of a business or a proposition,
whether your own or a competitor's.
Strategic planning is not a precise science - no tool is
mandatory - it's a matter of pragmatic choice as to what
helps best to identify and explain the issues.
PEST becomes more useful and relevant the larger and more
complex the business or proposition, but even for a very
small local businesses a PEST analysis can still throw up one
or two very significant issues that might otherwise be
missed.
The four quadrants in PEST vary in significance depending on
the type of business, eg., social factors are more obviously
relevant to consumer businesses or a B2B business close to
the consumer-end of the supply chain, whereas political
factors are more obviously relevant to a global munitions
supplier or aerosol propellant manufacturer.
All businesses benefit from a SWOT analysis, and all
businesses benefit from completing a SWOT analysis of their
main competitors, which interestingly can then provide some
feed back into the economic aspects of the PEST analysis.
pest market analysis tool

PEST analysis method and examples, with free PEST
template

The PEST analysis is a useful tool for understanding market
growth or decline, and as such the position, potential and
direction for a business. A PEST analysis is a business
measurement tool. PEST is an acronym for Political,
Economic, Social and Technological factors, which are used
to assess the market for a business or organizational unit.
The PEST analysis headings are a framework for reviewing a
situation, and can also, like SWOT analysis, be used to
review a strategy or position, direction of a company, a
marketing proposition, or idea. Completing a PEST analysis is
very simple, and is a good subject for workshop sessions.
PEST analysis also works well in brainstorming meetings. Use
PEST analysis for business and strategic planning, marketing
planning, business and product development and research
reports. You can also use PEST analysis exercises for team
building games. PEST analysis is similar to SWOT analysis -
it's simple, quick, and uses four key perspectives. As PEST
factors are essentially external, completing a PEST analysis
is helpful prior to completing a SWOT analysis (a SWOT
analysis - Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats - is
based broadly on half internal and half external factors).
A PEST analysis measures a market; a SWOT analysis
measures a business unit, a proposition or idea.
N.B. The PEST model is sometimes extended (some would
say unnecessarily) to seven factors, by adding Ecological,
Legislative, and Industry Analysis (the model is then known
as PESTELI). However, if completed properly, the basic PEST
analysis should naturally cover these 'additional' factors:
Ecological factors are found under the four main PEST
headings; Legislative factors would normally be covered
under the Political heading; Industry Analysis is effectively
covered under the Economic heading. Use PESTELI only if
you are worried about missing something within the three
extra headings.
A SWOT analysis measures a business unit or proposition, a
PEST analysis measures the market potential and situation,
particularly indicating growth or decline, and thereby market

attractiveness, business potential, and suitability of access -
market potential and 'fit' in other words. PEST analysis uses
four perspectives, which give a logical structure, in this case
organized by the PEST format, that helps understanding,
presentation, discussion and decision-making. The four
dimensions are an extension of a basic two heading list of
pro's and con's (pro's and con's template here).
PEST analysis can be used for marketing and business
development assessment and decision-making, and the PEST
template encourages proactive thinking, rather than relying
on habitual or instinctive reactions.
Here the PEST analysis template is presented as a grid,
comprising four sections, one for each of the PEST headings:
Political, Economic, Social and Technological. The free PEST
template below includes sample questions or prompts,
whose answers are can be inserted into the relevant section
of the PEST grid. The questions are examples of discussion
points, and obviously can be altered depending on the
subject of the PEST analysis, and how you want to use it.
Make up your own PEST questions and prompts to suit the
issue being analysed and the situation (ie., the people doing
the work and the expectations of them). Like SWOT analysis,
it is important to clearly identify the subject of a PEST
analysis, because a PEST analysis is four-way perspective in
relation to a particular business unit or proposition - if you
blur the focus you will produce a blurred picture - so be clear
about the market that you use PEST to analyse.
A market is defined by what is addressing it, be it a product,
company, brand, business unit, proposition, idea, etc, so be
clear about how you define the market being analysed,
particularly if you use PEST analysis in workshops, team
exercises or as a delegated task. The PEST subject should be
a clear definition of the market being addressed, which
might be from any of the following standpoints:
a company looking at its market
a product looking at its market

a brand in relation to its market
a local business unit
a strategic option, such as entering a new market or
launching a new product
a potential acquisition
a potential partnership
an investment opportunity
Be sure to describe the subject for the PEST analysis clearly
so that people contributing to the analysis, and those seeing
the finished PEST analysis, properly understand the purpose
of the PEST assessment and implications.

PEST analysis template
Other than the four main headings, the questions and issues
in the template below are examples and not exhaustive -
add your own and amend these prompts to suit your
situation, the experience and skill level of whoever is
completing the analysis, and what you aim to produce from
the analysis.
If Environmental is a more relevant heading than Economic,
then substitute it. Ensure you consider the three additional
'PESTELI' headings: Ecological, Legislative, and Industry
Analysis.
The analysis can be converted into a more scientific
measurement by scoring the items in each of the sections.
There is are established good or bad reference points - these
are for you to decide. Scoring is particularly beneficial if
more than one market is being analysed, for the purpose of
comparing which market or opportunity holds most potential
and/or obstacles. This is useful when considering business
development and investment options, ie, whether to develop
market A or B; whether to concentrate on local distribution
or export; whether to acquire compnay X or compnay Y., etc.
If helpful when comparing more than one different market
analysis, scoring can also be weighted according to the more
or less significant factors.
Subject of PEST analysis: (define the standpoint and

market here)
political economic
ecological/environmental home economy situation
issues
home economy trends
current legislation home
market overseas economies and

future legislation
trends
European/international
general taxation issues
legislation
taxation specific to
regulatory bodies and
product/services
processes
seasonality/weather
government policies
issues
government term and
market and trade cycles
change
specific industry factors
trading policies
market routes and
funding, grants and
distribution trends
initiatives
customer/end-user
home market
drivers
lobbying/pressure groups
interest and exchange
international pressure
rates
groups
social
lifestyle trends technological
demographics competing technology
development
consumer attitudes and
opinions research funding
media views associated/dependent
technologies
law changes affecting
social factors replacement
technology/solutions
brand, company,
technology image maturity of technology
consumer buying manufacturing maturity

and capacity
information and
patterns communications
fashion and role models consumer buying
major events and mechanisms/technology
influences technology legislation
buying access and trends innovation potential
ethnic/religious factors technology access,
advertising and publicity licencing, patents
intellectual property
issues

more on the difference and relationship between
PEST and SWOT
PEST is useful before SWOT - not generally vice-versa - PEST
definitely helps to identify SWOT factors. There is overlap
between PEST and SWOT, in that similar factors would
appear in each. That said, PEST and SWOT are certainly two
different perspectives:
PEST assesses a market, including competitors, from the
standpoint of a particular proposition or a business.
SWOT is an assessment of a business or a proposition,
whether your own or a competitor's.
Strategic planning is not a precise science - no tool is
mandatory - it's a matter of pragmatic choice as to what
helps best to identify and explain the issues.
PEST becomes more useful and relevant the larger and more
complex the business or proposition, but even for a very
small local businesses a PEST analysis can still throw up one
or two very significant issues that might otherwise be
missed.
The four quadrants in PEST vary in significance depending on
the type of business, eg., social factors are more obviously
relevant to consumer businesses or a B2B business close to
the consumer-end of the supply chain, whereas political
factors are more obviously relevant to a global munitions
supplier or aerosol propellant manufacturer.
All businesses benefit from a SWOT analysis, and all
businesses benefit from completing a SWOT analysis of their
main competitors, which interestingly can then provide some
feed back into the economic aspects of the PEST analysis.

tom peters - in search of excellence
Tom Peters and Robert H Waterman Jr - In Search Of
Excellence summary
The seminal management book In Search of Excellence, by
Tom Peters and Robert Waterman, was published in 1982,
and remains one of the one of the biggest selling and widely
read business books ever. Peters and Waterman found eight
common themes which they argued were responsible for the
success of the chosen corporations, which have become
pointers for managers ever since. In Search of Excellence
didn't start out as a book, as Tom Peters explained when
interviewed in 2001 to mark the 20th anniversary of In
Search of Excellence: Peters and Waterman were both
consultants on the margins of McKinsey, based in the San
Francisco office. In 1977 McKinsey director Ron Daniel
launched two projects ; the first and major one, the Business
Strategy project, was allocated to top consultants at
McKinsey's New York corporate HQ and was given star
billing. Nothing came of it. The second 'weak-sister' project
(as Peters called it) concerned Organisation - structure and
people. The Organisation project was seen as less important,
and was allocated to Peters and Waterman at San Francisco.
Peters travelled the world on an infinite budget, with licence
to talk to as many interesting business people he could find
about teams and organisations in business. He had no
particular aim or theory in mind. In 1979 McKinsey's Munich
office requested Peters to present his findings to Siemens,
which provided the spur for Peters to create a 700-slide two-
day presentation. Word of the meeting reached the US and
Peters was invited to present also to PepsiCo, but unlike the
hyper-organised Siemens, the PepsiCo management required
a tighter format than 700 slides, so Peters produced the
eight themes.
The platform for Peters and Waterman onto which the In
Search Of Excellence research and theorising was built, was
the McKinsey 7-S model:

McKinsey 7-S model elements
1. structure
2. strategy
3. systems
4. style of management
5. skills - corporate strengths
6. staff
7. shared values
Peters and Waterman examined 43 of Fortune 500's top
performing companies. They started with a list of 62 of the
best performing McKinsey clients and then applied
performance measures to weed out what they thought to be
the weaker companies. General Electric was one of the
casualties which failed to make the cut. Peters says that one
of his personal drivers in carrying out his research was to
prove that certain established methods - particularly heavily
systemised philosophies and practices - were wrong, notably
those used by Xerox, and advocated by Peter Drucker and
Robert McNamara. Peters says that he wanted - with a
passion - to prove how crucial people are to business
success , and to release business from the 'tyranny of the
bean counters'.
As Peters explained in 2001: 'Start with Taylorism, add a
layer of Druckerism and a dose of McNamaraism, and by the
late 1970's you had the great American corporation that was
being run by bean counters...'
Contrast this with what Peters says became the essential
message of In Search of Excellence, simply:
People
Customers
Action

Peters says that In Search of Excellence turned these 'soft'
factors into hard ones, when previously the only 'hard factors
were considered to be the 'numbers'.
Peters also said in 2001 that other than certain wrong
companies highlighted - Atari and Wang for instance - In
Search of Excellence 'absolutely nailed the eight points of
the compass for business at that time' (1982), but that its
central flaw was in suggesting that these points would apply
for ever, when they most certainly have not.
Peters said finally in his 2001 interview that were he to write
In Search of Excellence today, he would not tamper with any
of the eight themes, but he would add to them: capabilities
concerning ideas, liberation, and speed.
Here is a summary of the 'In Search of Excellence' eight
themes, which also form the eight chapters of the book.

In Search of Excellence - the eight themes
1. A bias for action, active decision making - 'getting on
with it'.
2. Close to the customer - learning from the people
served by the business.
3. Autonomy and entrepreneurship - fostering
innovation and nurturing 'champions'.
4. Productivity through people - treating rank and file
employees as a source of quality.
5. Hands-on, value-driven - management philosophy
that guides everyday practice - management showing
its commitment.
6. Stick to the knitting - stay with the business that you
know.
7. Simple form, lean staff - some of the best companies
have minimal HQ staff.
8. Simultaneous loose-tight properties - autonomy in
shop-floor activities plus centralised values.
click on cover pictures to order
in search of excellence - tom

peters and robert h waterman
jr
Seminal management book, written in
1982 - (see the Tom Peters section, as
this explains how the book was written
and provides Peters' view on the book
and how he'd write it today). With its
classic eight themes for successful
corprations, In Search Of Excellence
remains the biggest selling and most
widely read management book ever.

thriving on chaos - tom peters
Peters takes stock of the excellence he
found in writing his first book ".......IBM
was dead in 1979, 'excellent' in 1982,
and dead again in 1986......." when he
reviewed the company again in
Thriving On Chaos. Contains Peter's 45
pointers for companies to succeed by
embracing change in the chaotic
global business environment, and still
extremely relevant today.
the pursuit of wow! - tom peters
More a reference manual than end-to-end
read, and valued by many because of it.
Over 200 rules for successful business,
many of which we've probably all heard
before, but never quite put into practice.
Some say this book even has life-changing
properties.

action centred leadership
action centred leadership - a model for team
leadership and management
John Adair's simple Action-Centred Leadership model (action-
centered if you prefer the US spelling) provides a great
blueprint for leadership and the management of any team,
group or organization. Action Centred Leadership is also a
simple leadership and management model, which makes it
easy to remember and apply, and to adapt for your your own
situation.
Good managers and leaders should have full command of
the three main areas of the Action Centred Leadership
model, and should be able to use each of the elements
according to the situation. Being able to do all of these
things, and keep the right balance, gets results, builds
morale, improves quality, develops teams and productivity,
and is the mark of a successful manager and leader.
john adair's action-centred leadership model
The three parts are:

achieving the
task
managing the
team or group
managing
individuals
Adair's action-centred leadership task-team-individual model

adapts extremely well (as below) for the demands of modern

business management. When using it in your own
environment think about the aspects of performance
necessary for success in your own situation, and
incorporate local relevant factors into the model to create
your own interpretation. This will give you a very useful
management framework:
Your responsibilities as a manager for achieving the
Task are:
identify aims and vision for the group, purpose, and
direction - define the activity (the task)
identify resources, people, processes, systems and tools
(inc. financials, communications, IT)
create the plan to achieve the task - deliverables,
measures, timescales, strategy and tactics
establish responsibilities, objectives, accountabilities
and measures, by agreement and delegation
set standards, quality, time and reporting parameters
control and maintain activities against parameters
monitor and maintain overall performance against plan
report on progress towards the group's aim
review, re-assess, adjust plan, methods and targets as
necessary
Your responsibilities as a manager for the Group are:
establish, agree and communicate standards of
performance and behaviour
establish style, culture, approach of the group - soft skill
elements
monitor and maintain discipline, ethics, integrity and
focus on objectives

anticipate and resolve group conflict, struggles or
disagreements
assess and change as necessary the balance and
composition of the group
develop team-working, cooperation, morale and team-
spirit
develop the collective maturity and capability of the
group - progressively increase group freedom and
authority
encourage the team towards objectives and aims -
motivate the group and provide a collective sense of
purpose
identify, develop and agree team- and project-
leadership roles within group
enable, facilitate and ensure effective internal and
external group communications
identify and meet group training needs
give feedback to the group on overall progress; consult
with, and seek feedback and input from the group
Your responsibilities as a manager for each Individual
are:
understand the team members as individuals -
personality, skills, strengths, needs, aims and fears
assist and support individuals - plans, problems,
challenges, highs and lows
identify and agree appropriate individual responsibilities
and objectives
give recognition and praise to individuals - acknowledge
effort and good work
where appropriate reward individuals with extra
responsibility, advancement and status

identify, develop and utilise each individual's
capabilities and strengths
train and develop individual team members
develop individual freedom and authority
action centred leadership and john adair
John Adair, born 1934, British, developed his Action Centred
Leadership model while lecturing at Sandhurst Royal Military
Academy and as assistant director and head of leadership
department at The Industrial Society. This would have been
during the 1960's and 70's, so in terms of management
theories, Adair's works is relatively recent.
His work certainly encompasses and endorses much of the
previous thinking on human needs and motivation by
Maslow, Herzberg and Fayol, and his theory adds an elegant
and simple additional organisational dimension to these
earlier works. Very importantly, Adair was probably the first
to demonstrate that leadership is a trainable, transferable
skill, rather than it being an exclusively inborn ability.
He helped change perception of management to encompass
leadership, to include associated abilities of decision-making,
communication and time-management. As well as
developing the Action Centred Leadership model, he wrote
over 25 books on management and leadership, including
Effective Leadership, Not Bosses but Leaders, and Great
Leaders.
Adair is now a management consultant and also has his own
publishing company in Surrey, England. He also maintains
links with the University of Surrey, where he was the first UK
chair of leadership studies, 1979-83.
Carol Kennedy's excellent book 'Guide to the Management
Gurus' supports the view that John Adair's ideas are
fundamental and very significant in the development of
management and leadership thinking:

Leadership is different to management. All leaders are not
necessarily great managers, but the best leaders leaders will
possess good management skills. One skill-set does not
automatically imply the other will be present.
Adair explains used the original word meanings to emphasise
this: Leadership is an ancient ability about deciding
direction, from an Anglo-Saxon word meaning the road or
path ahead; knowing the next step and then taking others
with you to it. Managing is a later concept, from Latin
'manus', meaning hand, and more associated with handling
a system or machine of some kind. The original concept of
managing began in the 19th century when engineers and
accountants started to become entrepreneurs.
There are valuable elements of management not necessarily
found in leadership, eg administration and managing
resources. Leadership on the other hand contains elements
not necessarily found in management, eg inspiring others
through the leader's own enthusiasm and commitment.
The Action Centred Leadership model is Adair's best known
work, in which the three elements - Achieving the Task,
Developing the Team and Developing Individuals - are
mutually dependent, as well as being separately essential to
the overall leadership role.
Importantly as well, Adair set out these core functions of
leadership and says they are vital to the Action Centered
Leadership model:
Planning - seeking information, defining tasks, setting
aims Initiating - briefing, task allocation, setting
standards
Controlling - maintaining standards, ensuring progress,
ongoing decision-making
Supporting - individuals' contributions, encouraging,
team spirit, reconciling, morale

Informing - clarifying tasks and plans, updating,
receiving feedback and interpreting
Evaluating - feasibility of ideas, performance, enabling
self assessment
The Action Centred Leadership model therefore does not
stand alone, it must be part of an integrated approach to
managing and leading, and also which should include a
strong emphasis on applying these principles through
training.
Adair also promotes a '50:50 rule' which he applies to
various situations involving two possible influencers, eg the
view that 50% of motivation lies with the individual and 50%
comes from external factors, among them leadership from
another. This contradicts most of the motivation gurus who
assert that most motivation is from within the individual. He
also suggests that 50% of team building success comes from
the team and 50% from the leader.
Adair is an example of how management thinking changes
and becomes more sophisticated over time, and in response
to the development of previous management thinking.
Personally I have great respect for Adair's work - it's far more
accessible and relevant than much of the traditional previous
gurus' thinking - it's holistic as well - you can see how it
works easily in a multi-dimensional way, and above all
believe it gets right to the heart of the leadership role, which
explains very clearly why some succeed and others do not.
More information available via John Adair's website.

ichak adizes - corporate life cycle model
dr ichak adizes ten stages of corporate life cycle
Dr Ichak Adizes is a renowned business guru and theorist,
who now runs his own organisational development company.
This simple model is an elegant way to learn and understand
the typical life-cycle stages that many businesses pass
through, from conception to cessation.
There is no pre-set timescale for this cycle, and many
organisations do not fit this model. However the life-cycle
stages that Ichak Adizes describes in his model provide a
useful basis for understanding more about organisational
change.
adizes ten stages
1. courtship
2. infancy
3. go-go
4. adolescence
5. prime
6. stability
7. aristocracy
8. recrimination
9. bureaucracy
10.death
Ichak Adizes PhD claims to be "one of the worlds leading
experts on improving the performance of business and
government by making fundamental changes without the
chaos and destructive conflict that plague many efforts".
Adizes is the founder and CEO of the Adizes Institute, a
change management organization that offers its services

around the world. He is also a lecturer and author of several
books. Notably, 'Corporate Lifecycles: How Organizations
Grow and Die and What to Do About It' (1988) is regarded by
some as a classic in management theory. A revised edition
was published under the title Managing Corporate Lifecycles
in 1999. Adizes other books include the Pursuit of Prime
(1996), Mastering Change: The Power of Mutual Trust and
Respect in Personal Life, Family, Business and Society
(1992), How to Solve the Mismanagement Crisis (1979), and
Self-Management (1975). Adizes has a Ph.D. and M.B.A. from
Columbia University and a B.A. from Hebrew University. His
website profile also states that he works in English, Spanish,
Hebrew, Serbian, Croatian and Bosnian, and that he
understands Bulgarian and Portuguese. It would seem that
Adizes is a pretty clever fellow.
Adizes approach is a "proprietary, structured, pragmatic
system for accelerating organisational change" which was
developed by Adizes, and has been applied by the Licensees
of his Institute since 1975. So it's not just a philosophy - the
Adizes ten phases is a business in its own right. Seemingly,
when practicing the 'methodology', Adizes associates
implement one or more of the 11 phases summarized below.
These phases are "a systematic approach designed to help a
client accelerate their development from one Lifecycle phase
to the next on their path to 'Prime'.
the 11 Phases of the Adizes Methodology
1. Organisational Diagnosis (by the organisation's own
management team)
2. Team Building (addressing the priorities from phase 1)
3. Change Management (introducing new processes and
systems to improve organisational responsiveness and
adaptability).
4. Vision/Mission/Values (developing strategic priorities
and plan)

5. Structural Realignment (to better support the new
strategy)
6. Management Information Systems (reviewed and
developed to ensure they meet new requirements, with
a strong emphasis on accountability)
7. Adizes 'Technology Transfer' (enabling and licensing the
organisation to cascade the Adizes methods down to
each level, providing for self-sustaining progression)
8. Peak Performance 'Stretching' (optimising performance)
9. Strategic Resource Allocation (to evaluate the long-term
direction and viability of each organisational unit and
identify new directions for replacing discontinued
activities)
10.Systemic 'Cybernetic' Structure (to enable continuous
adaptability by formalising the change management
system of phase 3, and integrate it with the structures
of phases 4 and 5)
11. Synergistic Rewards Systems (ensuring rewards
and compensation are relevant and appropriate to the
new business shape and strategy)

delegation
delegating authority skills, tasks and the process of
effective delegation
Delegation will always be one of the most important
management skills - and one of the easiest to get wrong.
Good delegation saves you time, develops you people,
grooms a successor, and motivates. Bad delegation will
cause you frustration, demotivates and confuses the other
person, and fails to achieve the task itself. Here are the
simple steps to follow if you want to get delegation right,
and the seven levels of delegation freedom you can offer.
A simple delegation rule is the acronym SMART. It's a quick
checklist for proper delegation. Delegated tasks must be
Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic, and Timebound. If
you can't check these points don't delegate it. If you want to
go one further use SMARTER (same but with Exciting and
Recorded).
See also the Tannenbaum and Schmidt Continuum, for more
guidance on delegating freedom to, and developing, a team.
The steps of successful delegation - step-by-step guide
The seven levels of delegation freedom - choose which is
most appropriate for any given situation
the steps of successful delegation
1 Define the task
Confirm in your own mind that the task is suitable to be
delegated. Does it meet the criteria for delegating?
2 Select the individual
What are your reasons for delegating to this person? What
are they going to get out of it? What are you going to get out
of it?
3 Assess ability and training needs

Is the other person capable of doing the task? Do they
understand what needs to be done. If not, you can't
delegate.
4 Explain the reasons
You must explain why the job or responsibility is being
delegated. And why to that person? What is its importance
and relevance? Where does it fit in the overall scheme of
things?
5 State required results
What must be achieved? Clarify understanding by getting
feedback from the other person. How will the task be
measured? Make sure they know how you intend to decide
that the job is being successfully done.
6 Consider resources required
Discuss and agree what is required to get the job done.
Consider people, location, premises, equipment, money,
materials, other related activities and services.
7 Agree deadlines
When must the job be finished? Or if an ongoing duty, when
are the review dates? When are the reports due? And if the
task is complex and has parts or stages, what are the
priorities?
At this point you may need to confirm understanding with
the other person of the previous points, getting ideas and
interpretation. As well as showing you that the job can be
done, this helps to reinforce commitment.
Methods of checking and controlling must be agreed with the
other person. Failing to agree this in advance will cause this
monitoring to seem like interference or lack of trust.
8 Support and communicate
Think about who else needs to know what's going on, and
inform them. Involve the other person in considering this so

they can see beyond the issue at hand. Do not leave the
person to inform your own peers of their new responsibility.
Warn the person about any awkward matters of politics or
protocol. Inform your own boss if the task is important, and
of sufficient profile.
9 Feedback on results
It is essential to let the person know how they are doing, and
whether they have achieved their aims. If not, you must
review with them why things did not go to plan, and deal
with the problems. You must absorb the consequences of
failure, and pass on the credit for success.
back to delegation start
the seven levels of delegation
Delegation isn't just a matter of telling someone else what to
do. There is a wide range of varying freedom that you can
confer on the other person. The more experienced and
reliable they are then the more freedom you can give. The
more critical the task then the more cautious you need to be
about extending a lot of freedom, especially if your job or
reputation depends on getting a good result. Take care to
choose the most appropriate style for each situation.
1 "Wait to be told." or "Do exactly what I say."
No delegation at all.
2 "Look into this and tell me what you come up with. I'll
decide."
This is asking for investigation and analysis but no
recommendation.
3 "Give me your recommendation, and the other options
with the pros and cons of each. I'll let you know whether you
can go ahead."
Asks for analysis and recommendation, but you will check
the thinking before deciding.

4 "Decide and let me know your decision, but wait for my go
ahead."
The other person needs approval but is trusted to judge the
relative options.
5 "Decide and let me know your decision, then go ahead
unless I say not to."
Now the other person begins to control the action. The subtle
increase in responsibility saves time.
6 "Decide and take action, but let me know what you did."
Saves more time. Allows a quicker reaction to wrong
decisions, not present in final level.
7 "Decide and take action. You need not check back with
me."
The most freedom that we can give to the other person. A
high level of confidence is necessary, and needs good
controls to ensure mistakes are flagged.

tuckman forming storming norming performing model
Bruce Tuckman's 1965 Forming Storming Norming
Performing team-development model
Dr Bruce Tuckman published his Forming Storming Norming
Performing model in 1965. He added a fifth stage,
Adjourning, in the 1970's. The Forming Storming Norming
Performing theory is an elegant and helpful explanation of
team development and behaviour. Similarities can be seen
with other models, such as Tannenbaum and Schmidt
Continuum and especially with Hersey and Blanchard's
Situational Leadership model, developed about the same
time.
Tuckman's model exaplains that as the team develops
maturity and ability, relationships establish, and the leader
changes leadership style. Beginning with a directing style,
moving through coaching, then participating, finishing
delegating and almost detached. At this point the team may
produce a successor leader and the previous leader can
move on to develop a new team. This progression of team
behaviour and leadership style can be seen clearly in the
Tannenbaum and Schmidt Continuum - the authority and
freedom extended by the leader to the team increases while
the control of the leader reduces. In Tuckman's Forming
Storming Norming Performing model, Hersey's and
Blanchard's Situational Leadership model and in
Tannenbaum and Schmidt's Continuum, we see the same
effect, represented in three ways.
tuckman's forming storming norming performing
model - original model
The progression is:
1. forming
2. storming
3. norming

4. performing
Features of each phase:

forming - stage 1
High dependence on leader for guidance and direction. Little
agreement on team aims other than received from leader.
Individual roles and responsibilities are unclear. Leader must
be prepared to answer lots of questions about the team's
purpose, objectives and external relationships. Processes are
often ignored. Members test tolerance of system and leader.
Leader directs (similar to Situational Leadership 'Telling'
mode).
storming - stage 2
Decisions don't come easily within group. Team members vie
for position as they attempt to establish themselves in
relation to other team members and the leader, who might
receive challenges from team members. Clarity of purpose
increases but plenty of uncertainties persist. Cliques and
factions form and there may be power struggles. The team
needs to be focused on its goals to avoid becoming
distracted by relationships and emotional issues.
Compromises may be required to enable progress. Leader
coaches (similar to Situational Leadership 'Selling' mode).
norming - stage 3
Agreement and consensus is largely forms among team, who
respond well to facilitation by leader. Roles and
responsibilities are clear and accepted. Big decisions are
made by group agreement. Smaller decisions may be
delegated to individuals or small teams within group.
Commitment and unity is strong. The team may engage in
fun and social activities. The team discusses and develops
its processes and working style. There is general respect for
the leader and some of leadership is more shared by the
team. Leader facilitates and enables (similar to the
Situational Leadership 'Participating' mode).
performing - stage 4
The team is more strategically aware; the team knows
clearly why it is doing what it is doing. The team has a

shared vision and is able to stand on its own feet with no
interference or participation from the leader. There is a focus
on over-achieving goals, and the team makes most of the
decisions against criteria agreed with the leader. The team
has a high degree of autonomy. Disagreements occur but
now they are resolved within the team positively and
necessary changes to processes and structure are made by
the team. The team is able to work towards achieving the
goal, and also to attend to relationship, style and process
issues along the way. team members look after each other.
The team requires delegated tasks and projects from the
leader. The team does not need to be instructed or assisted.
Team members might ask for assistance from the leader with
personal and interpersonal development. Leader delegates
and oversees (similar to the Situational Leadership
'Delegating' mode).
forming storming norming performing model

Tuckman's fifth stage - Adjourning
Bruce Tuckman refined his theory around 1975 and added a
fifth stage to the Forming Storming Norming Performing
model - he called it Adjourning, which is also referred to as
Deforming and Mourning. Adjourning is arguably more of an
adjunct to the original four stage model rather than an
extension - it views the group from a perspective beyond the
purpose of the first four stages. The Adjourning phase is
certainly very relevant to the people in the group and their
well-being, but not to the main task of managing and
developing a team, which is clearly central to the original
four stages.

adjourning - stage 5
Tuckman's fifth stage, Adjourning, is the break-up of the
group, hopefully when the task is completed successfully, its
purpose fulfilled; everyone can move on to new things,
feeling good about what's been achieved. From an
organizational perspective, recognition of and sensitivity to
people's vulnerabilities in Tuckman's fifth stage is helpful,
particularly if members of the group have been closely
bonded and feel a sense of insecurity or threat from this
change. Feelings of insecurity would be natural for people
with high 'steadiness' attributes (as regards the 'four
temperaments' or DISC model) and with strong routine and
empathy style (as regards the Benziger thinking styles
model, right and left basal brain dominance).
Hersey's and Blanchard's Situational Leadership
model

Tannenbaum and Schmidt Continuum
The diagonal line equates to the dotted line on the other two
models.
This is an overview of the Tuckman forming storming

performing norming model - if you need to know more there
are various Tuckman model pages on the web. Also a free
test at Don Clark's Big Dog site, to indicate whether your
team is forming, storming, norming or performing.
More about Tannenbaum and Schmidt Continuum.
Refer also to the Johari Window model for personal and inter-
group communications and awareness development.
N.B. Situational Leadership is a trademark of the Centre for
Leadership Studies.

kolb learning styles
David Kolb's learning styles model
David Kolb developed this learning styles model in 1984.
Kolb's learning styles model is based on two lines of axis
(continuums): our approach to a task - (preferring to do or
watch), and our emotional response (preferring to think or
feel). The theory sets out these four preferences, which are
also possible different learning methods:
doing (active experimentation)
watching (reflective observation)
feeling (concrete experience)
thinking (abstract conceptualisation)
These learning styles characteristics are normally shown as
two lines of axis. The east-west axis is called the Processing
Continuum (how we approach a task), and the north-south
axis is called the Perception Continuum (our emotional
response, or how we think or feel). This also describes four
different learning styles (and also methods):

The combination of where our preference lies on each axis
produces four possible learning style types:
activist (doing and feeling preferences, or concrete-
active)
reflector (watching and doing, or concrete-reflective)
theorist (watching and thinking, or abstract-reflective)
pragmatist (thinking and doing, or abstract-active)

Knowing a person's (and your own) learning style enables
learning to be orientated according to the preferred method.
That said, everyone responds to and needs the stimulus of
all types of learning style - it's a matter of using emphasis
that fits best with a person's learning style preferences:
activist - hands-on, relies on intuition rather than logic,
uses other people's analysis, and likes practical,
experiential approach.
reflector (watching and doing, or concrete-reflective) -
able to look at things from different perspectives,
sensitive, prefers to watch rather than do it, gathers
information and uses imagination to solve problems.
theorist (watching and thinking, or abstract-reflective)
- concise, logical approach, ideas and concepts are
more important than people, requires good clear
explanation rather than practical opportunity.
pragmatist (thinking and doing, or abstract-active) -
can solve problems and will use learning to apply to

finding solutions to practical issues, prefers technical
tasks, less concerned with people and interpersonal
aspects.
For instance - don't expect theorists to be comfortable being
thrown in at the deep end without notes and instructions.
Conversely, activists may become frustrated if unable to get
hands on experience as soon as possible.
As with any other model, this is a guide, not an absolute set
of rules.
You can view and download a detailed free Kolb learning
styles diagram at the businessballs free online resources
section, which includes many other free training materials,
management tools, tests and diagrams.
A free Kolb learning styles indicator is available from Don
Clark's Big Dog website.

leadership
leadership development tips
While leadership is easy to explain, leadership is not so easy
to practise. Leadership is about behaviour first, skills second.
Good leaders are followed chiefly because people trust and
respect them, rather than the skills they possess. Leadership
is different to management. Management relies more on
planning, organisational and communications skills.
Leadership relies on management skills too, but more so on
qualities such as integrity, honesty, humility, courage,
commitment, sincerity, passion, confidence, positivity,
wisdom, determination, compassion and sensitivity. Some
people are born more naturally to leadership than others.
Most people don't seek to be a leader. Those who want to be
a leader can develop leadership ability.
Leadership can be performed with different styles. Some
leaders have one style, which is right for certain situations
and wrong for others. Some leaders can adapt and use
different leadership styles for given situations.
ten leadership tips
Jack Welch, respected business leader and writer is quoted
as proposing these fundamantal leadership principles:
1. There is only one way - the straight way. It sets the tone
of the organisation.
2. Be open to the best of what everyone, everywhere, has
to offer. transfer learning across your organisation.
3. Get the right people in the right jobs - it is more
important than developing a strategy.
4. An informal atmosphere is a competitive advantage.
5. Make sure everybody counts and everybody knows they
count.

6. Legitimate self-confidence is a winner - the true test of
self-confidence is the courage to be open.
7. Business has to be fun - celebrations energise and
organisation.
8. Never underestimate the other guy.
9. Understand where real value is added and put your best
people there.
10.Know when to meddle and when to let go - this is pure
instinct.
As a leader, your main priority is to get the job done,
whatever the job is. Leaders make things happen by:
knowing your objectives and having a plan how to
achieve them
building a team committed to achieving the objectives
helping each team member to give their best efforts
As a leader you must know yourself. Know your own
strengths and weaknesses, so that you can build the best
team around you.
Plan carefully, with your people where appropriate, how you
will achieve your aims. You may have to redefine or develop
your own new aims and priorities. Leadership can be
daunting for many people simply because no-one else is
issuing the aims - leadership often means you have to create
your own from a blank sheet of paper. Set and agree clear
standards. Keep the right balance between 'doing' yourself
and managing others 'to do'.
Build teams. Ensure you look after people and that
communications and relationships are good. Select good
people and help them to develop. Develop people via
training and experience, particularly by agreeing objectives
and responsibilities that will interest and stretch them, and
always support people while they strive to improve and take

on extra tasks. Follow the rules about delegation closely -
this process is crucial. Ensure that your managers are
applying the same principles. Good leadership principles
must cascade down through the whole organisation. This
means that is you are leading a large organisation you must
check that the processes for managing, communicating and
developing people are in place and working properly.
Communication is critical. Listen, consult, involve, explain
why as well as what needs to be done.
Some leaders lead by example and are very 'hands on';
others are more distanced and let their people do it.
Whatever - your example is paramount - the way you work
and conduct yourself will be the most you can possibly
expect from your people. If you set low standards you are to
blame for low standards in your people.
"... Praise loudly, blame softly." (Catherine the Great). Follow
this maxim.
If you seek one singlemost important behaviour that will
rapidly earn you respect and trust among your people, this is
it: Always give your people the credit for your achievements
and successes. Never take the credit yourself - even if it's all
down to you, which would be unlikely anyway. You must
however take the blame and accept responsibility for any
failings or mistakes that your people make. Never never
never publicly blame another person for a failing. Their
failing is your responsibility - true leadership offers is no
hiding place for a true leader.
Take time to listen to and really understand people. Walk the
job. Ask and learn about what people do and think, and how
they think improvements can be made.
Accentuate the positive. Express things in terms of what
should be done, not what should not be done. If you
accentuate the negative, people are more likely to veer
towards it. Like the mother who left her five-year-old for a
minute unsupervised in the kitchen, saying as she left the
room, "...don't you go putting those beans up your nose..."

Have faith in people to do great things - given space and air
and time, everyone can achieve more than they hope for.
Provide people with relevant interesting opportunities, with
proper measures and rewards and they will more than repay
your faith.
Take difficult decisions bravely, and be truthful and sensitive
when you implement them.
Constantly seek to learn from the people around you - they
will teach you more about yourself than anything else. They
will also tell you 90% of what you need to know to achieve
your business goals.
Embrace change, but not for change's sake. Begin to plan
your own succession as soon as you take up your new post,
and in this regard, ensure that the only promises you ever
make are those that you can guarantee to deliver.
process and tips for training and developing
leadership can be found here
leadership behaviour develops leadership style and
skills
Leadership skills are based on leadership behaviour. Skills
alone do not make leaders - style and behaviour do. If you
are interested in leadership training and development - start
with leadership behaviour. Leadership is mostly about
behaviour, especially towards others. People who strive for
these things generally come to be regarded and respected
as a leader by their people:
Integrity - the most important requirement; without it
everything else is for nothing.
Being very grown-up - never getting emotional with
people - no shouting or ranting, even if you feel very
upset or angry.
Leading by example - always be seen to be working
harder and more determinedly than anyone else.

Help alongside your people when they need it.
Fairness - treat everyone equally and on merit.
Be firm and clear in dealing with bad or unethical
behaviour.
Listen to and really understand people, and show them
that you understand (this doesn't mean you have to
agree with everyone - understanding is different to
agreeing).
Always take the responsibility and blame for your
people's mistakes.
Always give your people the credit for your successes.
Never self-promote.
Back up and support your people.
Be decisive, but be seen to be making fair and balanced
decisions.
Ask for people's views, but remain neutral and
objective.
Be honest but sensitive in the way that give bad news
or criticism.
Always do what you say you will do - keep your
promises.
Work hard to become expert at what you do technically,
and at understanding your people's technical abilities
and challenges.
Encourage your people to grow, learn and take on as
much as they want to, at a pace they can handle.
Always accentuate the positive (say 'do it like this', not
'don't do it like that').
Smile and encourage others to be happy and enjoy
themselves.

Relax, and give your people and yourself time to get to
know and respect each other.
Take notes and keep good records.
Plan and prioritise.
Manage your time well and help others to do so too.
Involve your people in your thinking and especially in
managing change.
Read good books, and take advice from good people, to
help develop your own understanding of yourself, and
particularly of other people's weaknesses (some of the
best books for leadership are not about business at all -
they are about people who triumph over adversity).
Achieve the company tasks and objectives, but never at
the cost of your integrity or the trust of your people.

great leadership quotes and inspirational quotes
"People ask the difference between a leader and a boss....
The leader works in the open, and the boss in covert. The
leader leads and the boss drives." (Theodore Roosevelt)
"The marksman hitteth the target partly by pulling, partly by
letting go. The boatsman reacheth the landing partly by
pulling, partly by letting go." (Egyptian proverb)
"No man is fit to command another that cannot command
himself." (William Penn)
"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care
who gets the credit." (President Harry S Truman)
"I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow."
(Woodrow Wilson)
"What should it profit a man if he would gain the whole world
yet lose his soul." (The Holy Bible, Mark 8:36)
"A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a
deadline." (Harvey Mackay)
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to look
after them, and pretty soon you have a dozen." (John
Steinbeck)
"I keep six honest serving-men, They taught me all I knew;
Their names are What and Why and When, And How and
Where and Who." (Rudyad Kipling, from 'Just So Stories',
1902.)
"A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant may see
farther than the giant himself." (Didacus Stella, circa AD60 -
and, as a matter of interest, abridged on the edge of an
English 2 coin)
"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and
knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
(Samuel Johnson 1709-84)

"The most important thing in life is not to capitalise on your
successes - any fool can do that. The really important thing
is to profit from your mistakes." (William Bolitho, from
'Twelve against the Gods')
"Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole
to pole, I thank whatever gods may be, For my
unconqureable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have
not winced nor cried aloud: Under the bludgeonings of
chance my head is bloody but unbowed . . . . . It matters not
how strait the gait, how charged with punishements the
scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my
soul." (WE Henley, 1849-1903, from 'Invictus')
"Everybody can get angry - that's easy. But getting angry at
the right person, with the right intensity, at the right time,
for the right reason and in the right way - that's hard."
(Aristotle)
"Management means helping people to get the best out of
themselves, not organising things." (Lauren Appley)
"It's not the critic who counts, not the one who points out
how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds
might have done them better. The credit belongs to the man
who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred with the
sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs
and comes up short again and again; who knows the great
enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a
worthy cause and who, at best knows the triumph of high
achievement and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while
daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those
cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."
(Theodore Roosevelt, 23 April 1923.)
"Behind an able man there are always other able men."
(Chinese Proverb.)
"I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great, 1729-
1796.)

"Experto Credite." ("Trust one who has proved it." Virgil,
2,000 years ago.)
more great leadership and inspirational quotes here
leadership development exercises and games

The are various games and exercises on the free team
building games section that work well for assessing and
developing leadership. In terms of leadership development
exercises, the leadership challenge is leading and managing
a team; the task is secondary, so virtually any team game is
suitable provided you give each leader a team of four or
more people to lead. The more people, the bigger the test of
leadership. You do not need a complicated exercise to create
a leadership challenge. The leadership challenge is produced
by having to organise, plan and motivate a team of people.
In fact, if the task is too complex it will obscure the team
leadership issues, by distracting from or hampering
leadership skills and qualities. For leadership development
choose exercises that includes an enjoyable and achievable
challenge - even very basic games like newspaper towers
will be a good test of leadership if you create teams of four
or more for the leader to lead. Use games that you feel will
produce variety, fun and a mixture of activities. The round
tables exercise is particularly suitable to test and develop
leadership skills. Choose a mixture of exercises which
encourage the leaders think about using a different
approach, and different people's strengths, for each
challenge.
leadership articles
Many articles appear in the press and trade journals about
leadership; look out for them, they can teach you a lot.
Newspaper articles - particularly those that appear in the
serious press - about leadership and management,
organizational and business culture, are an excellent source
of ideas, examples and references for developing leadership.

A journalist could have spent a week researching the subject,
talking to leading business leaders, academics and writers,
and preparing useful statistics. This is valuable material.
Learn from it and use it.
Serious articles are available for a few pennies, and yet they
can be invaluable in developing your own ideas about
leadership, and in providing compelling justification to
organizations and managers for the need to adopt new ideas
and different apporach to leadership development.

negotiation skills training
negotiation techniques for sales, contracts, debts,
buying, selling and training
These negotiation techniques are primarily for sales, but
apply also to other negotiations, such as debt negotiation,
contracts negotiating, buying negotiations, salary and
employment contracts negotiations, and to an extent all
other negotiating situations. Negotiation is vital for an
organization's overall effectiveness. Organizational
effectiveness is a product of activities within a system -
internal and external. Negotiation is critical to establishing
the internal system (structure, people, functions, plans,
measures, etc), and the organization's relationship to the
external system (markets, suppliers, technology, etc).
Negotiation is also critical to optimising the performance of
activities internally and externally (principally through
communication, by people).
Good sales negotiation - the rules of which feaure below -
can easily add 10% to sales revenues, which arguably goes
straight to the bottom line as incremental profit. Good
purchasing negotiation can easily save 10% of the cost of
bought in products and services, which again arguably goes
straight to the bottom line as extra profit. Good negotiation
by managers in dealing with staff can easily reduce staff
turnover by 5-10%, which reduces recruitment and training
costs by at least the same %, as well as improving quality,
consistency and competitive advantage, which for many
companies is the difference between ultimate success and
failure. Good negotiation by executives with regulatory and
planning authorities enables opening new markets,
developing new technologies, and the choice of where the
business operates and is based, all of which individually can
make the difference between a business succeeding or
failing.

Successful debt negotiation with creditors enables a
business to continue trading. Failure to negotiate debts often
leads to business closure. See the notes on debt negotiation
for business creditors and personal debts such as credit
cards, in the debt negotiation article below.
Salary negotiation affects individuals and organizations, and
good negotiation skills on both sides produce positive
outcomes for all. See also the tips on asking for a salary rise,
and dealing with salary increase requests on the pay rise
page.
These negotiation techniques deal mainly with sales
negotiation and are written from the point of view of the
'seller'. If you are 'buying', or want to know how buyers tend
to behave look at the note alongside the headings. Sales
negotiation is an increasingly important part of the sales
process. Negotiation starts when buyer and seller are
conditionally committed to the sale (not sooner if you are the
sales person; the sooner the better if you are the buyer).
Negotiation generally results in a price compromise between
seller and buyer - ie., the seller reduces and the buyer
increases from their starting positions. Clever buyers will
attempt to negotiate before giving any kind of buying
commitment. Clever sales people will resist this. Here are
the rules of sales negotiating, which imply also the rules for
successful negotiating when buying.
Positioning is everything in negotiation. Rules 1 and 2 are
absolutely critical even before you start a negotiation.
negotiation tips, techniques and principles
1 If selling be unique, and be able to walk away; if
buying definitely be able to walk away
Whether you are buying or selling, if you can't walk away
because you need the deal so badly or because the other
side is the only game in town, then you are at a serious
disadvantage. If the other side believes you are the only
game in town then you have the advantage. No other factor
is so important: the more you need to secure the deal, the

weaker your position, so avoid negotiating when you need
the business badly (for the same reason, never find a new
house and fall in love with it before you sell your own). The
same will apply to your customer, which is why buyers
almost always give you the impression that they can go
somewhere else - even if they can't or don't want to.
This also means that when selling you must create an
impression that there is no alternative comparable supplier.
You have to create the impression that your product or
service is unique, and that the other person has nowhere
else to go. The way you sell yourself and your product must
convince the other person that he has nowhere else to go,
and that he cannot afford to walk away.
This positioning of uniqueness is the most important tactic,
and it comes into play before you even start to negotiate.
If your product offer is not unique remember that you are
part of it. You can still create a unique position for yourself
by the way that you conduct yourself, build trust, rapport,
and empathy with the other person.
Establishing a position (or impression) of uniqueness is the
singlemost effective technique when you are selling,
whereas denying uniqueness is the most powerful tactic of
the buyer.
2 Negotiate when the sale is conditionally agreed,
and no sooner (buyers tend to try to negotiate before
giving you any commitment - don't let them)
Or, put another way, don't get drawn into negotiating until
you've got agreement in principle to do business.
If you start to negotiate before receiving this commitment
you'll concede ground and the customer will attain a better
starting point. This would put pressure on you to find more
concessions later, and ensure a better finishing point for the
customer.

If you are not sure that the customer is conditionally
committed to the sale, then ask (a conditional closing
question), eg "If we can agree the details will you go ahead?"
If you're buying, then the opposite applies: start to negotiate
for concessions before agreeing you want to buy (try this
when you next buy something - you'll be amazed at what
you can secure without giving any commitment in return).
3 Aim high, and avoid going first if you can (buyers
aim low, and they tend not to go first either)
(If you're buying, aim very - even ridiculously - low - but do it
politely.) Whatever you're doing, your first stake in the sand
sets the limit on your best possible outcome. There's no
moving it closer to where you want to go; it'll only move the
other way. Your opening position also fixes the other person's
minimum expectation, and the closer your start point is to
the eventual finishing point the more difficult it is to give the
other person concessions along the way and ultimately
arrive at a win-win outcome.
Many negotiations are little more than a split-the-difference
exercise. They shouldn't be, but that's often the underlying
psychology and expectation. So it's logical that to achieve
the best possible finishing position you should start as
ambitiously as you can (without losing credibility of course).
If you have the option to hear the other person's offer first,
then do so. It's a fact that whoever makes the opening offer
is at a disadvantage. If you go first, the other person can
choose to disregard it and ask for a better offer. And the
other person avoids the risk of making an offer themselves
that is more beneficial than you would have been prepared
to accept. It's amazing how often a buyer is prepared to pay
more than an asking price, but avoids having to do so
because they keep quiet and let the seller go first.
Vice-versa, the seller can often achieve a higher selling price
than he anticipates if he hears what the buyer is prepared to
offer first.

4 Get the other person's full 'shopping list' before you
start to negotiate (buyers usually do the opposite -
they like to pick concessions up one by one -
indefinitely)
Establish in your own mind what the other person needs,
including personal and emotional aspects. Everything that is
part of or related to a deal has a value. Everything has a cost
to you or your organization, even if it's not on the price list.
Negotiation isn't just about price and discount. It's about
everything that forms the deal. It's about specification,
colour, size, lead-time, consumables, contract length,
penalty payments, get-out clauses, delivery dates, stock-
holding, re-order lead-times, after-sales support product,
product training, technical back-up, breakdown service, call-
out costs, parts costs, parts availability, payment type,
payment date, payment terms. All these and more are called
variables, and each one affects the cost. Some affect the
cost more than others, and buyers and sellers nearly always
place a different value on each. It's critical therefore to know
exactly what your buyer wants before you start to negotiate.
Get the full list of issues written down and commit him to it.
This is vital if you are to keep a track on the values of the
deal and the eventual outcome. You also avoid your position
being eroded bit by bit by the late introduction of
concessions required.
Your buyer's personal and political requirements are
important too, and the bigger the deal the more significant
these factors are. You need to understand what they are,
particularly the political and procedural needs within the
other person's organization or situation that affect the deal.
These issues will concern the way that the organizations
relate to eachother; who talks to whom; how justifications
and reports are prepared; arrangements for future reviews;
provision of information; product development collaboration;
issues involving intellectual property, future mutual business
opportunities, etc.

Remember that when you sell to someone in an organization
or group, your buyer is staking his personal reputation within
his situation on you, and will not do so lightly, so you need to
understand all of his needs and concerns.
Only then you can begin to understand what the
implications, costs and perceived values are.
5 Never give away a concession without getting
something in return (buyers tend to resist giving any
concessions at all)
This is a matter of discipline and control. It's simple. Never
give anything away without getting something in return. If
you do you are not negotiating you are simply conceding.
A commitment from the other person can be a suitable
concession to get in return for something of relatively low
value. The simplest and most elegant concession to secure is
agreement to proceed with the deal now - use it to close.
6 Keep the whole package in mind all of the time
(buyers tend to divide and erode your position, bit by
bit)
The other person's tactic will be to separate out single
issues, or introduce new ones later. If you allow this to
happen your position will be eroded.
7 Keep searching for variables, concessions,
'bargaining chips', incentives (Buyers will look for
your concessions but will tend not to offer their own)
A variable is any factor that can be altered and which has a
real or perceived value. You are not a mind-reader and the
other person may not be totally open, or even fully aware of
all the possible variables that are of interest, so keep looking
for them. The more variables you find the less you will have
to give on price, and the more added-value you can build
into the deal. The buyer will not offer his own concessions
normally, so you can look for his possible concessions as well

as your own (ie variables within the buyer's situation as well
as your own).
8 Keep accurate notes, and show that you are doing it
(the buyer stands to benefit from any lack of record,
and some buyers conveniently forget things that are
not in their favour, even concessions you've won from
them)
Controlling the negotiation is vital. the other person may
forget, misunderstand, or attempt to distort interpretation of
what was discussed and agreed. Keeping notes shows that
you are in control, professional, can't be out-flanked, and
enables you to summarise and assess continually.
9 Summarise and confirm understanding continually
(see above - it's your loss, not the buyer's, if you
allow misunderstandings to develop)
This avoids misunderstandings developing, accidentally or
otherwise. Misunderstandings can be catastrophic, not so
much because of the way they affect the financial structure
of the unfolding deal, but because they undermine the
rapport and the trust, which is critical to being able to do
business in the first place.
Getting positive agreement throughout the process also is
psychologically important; it strengthens trust and
commitment, and helps to ease the other person into an
agreeable frame of mind.
After the negotiation obviously it is essential to give the
other person clear written confirmation of the deal.

negotiation - more information
These days we are much more determined to press for
concessions and the best possible price. Buyers, particularly
consumers, are more confident and financially aware.
Where competitive pressures exist, prices are driven
downwards. Where one supplier offers a certain concession
or discount, customers expect all others to follow suit.
Suppliers' prices are more visible, so customers know what's
on offer elsewhere, and they use this knowledge to secure
the best possible deal.
In the face of these increasing pressures we need to have:
very good negotiating skills
commercial understanding (to appreciate the value and
implications of each element within a deal, and for
giving justification and explanation, etc.)
very good communication skills - empathy - (so as to
able to communicate a commercial position whilst
maintaining a good relationship)
a consistent corporate policy and authorisation
structure covering discounting and giving concessions
Organizations that have several points or people through

which negotiations can take place must perform well in these
areas. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
Organizations with inconsistent or vague negotiation
practices are vulnerable. Customers are able to find and
exploit weaknesses and precedents to drive prices down,
force concessions and discount levels up, resulting in erosion
of margins for the company. This happens because the
company loses control over its starting positions (first
stance), and unwittingly provides precedents for generous
finishing positions.

Negotiating a deal, whether you are buying or selling, is a
strange business.
In a selling role for a company, good negotiation requires a
careful combination of empathy for the other person's
situation and feelings, with our own responsibilities to secure
the best possible commercial outcome for the company.
On occasions there can be a personal dilemma, particularly if
our selling style is one that uses a lot of relationship-building
and trust. We can feel torn between the interests of the
customer - with whom it is of course essential to build an
understanding - and the needs of the company.
So it is essential to remember our fundamental responsibility
as a sales person, which helps to avoid being drawn into the
dilemma territory:
We work for our company, not the customer.
By the same token, the customer is out to secure the best
possible deal for themselves and their organization, not for
your company. (Have you ever known a customer refuse a
discount or concession on the basis that it isn't in the best
interest of the supplier? Of course not.)
Another factor is our responsibility to existing customers. We
undermine our relationships with existing customers if we
offer preferential terms to new customers, just to get the
deal.
Giving too much away, or referring a negotiation to a higher
authority has a demoralising, undermining effect, and
customers don't respect it - they take advantage of it. The
urge to sustain a friendly, highly amenable relationship with
the customer above all else is a trap that we must be alert
to, it's human nature, but lots of customers will use it to their
advantage. It is entirely possible to maintain a friendly
helpful relationship while at the same time being very firm in
negotiating the business.

Deep down we all respect someone who takes a firm
approach to business, as long as it is delivered in an
understanding and empathic way, with proper explanation
and justification for the stance taken.
Good negotiating builds our own confidence and natural
authority, not to mention the fun we can have outside work,
when we are the buyer.
It's extremely important to make an assessment of where
the other person is coming from; what the real and
perceived issues are, and to separate the psychological
factors from the practical ones.
A person's need to feel that they've succeeded in squeezing
out a good deal is far different from the practical issue of
simply whether they have enough money to afford the
transaction, or whether the timings and availability can
possibly fit together.
The purpose of negotiation is to reach a fair and reasonable
compromise, not to try to do the impossible.
If a reasonable and commercially acceptable compromise is
within reach we must use all our skills to achieve it through
negotiation.
If the other person's demands are not reasonable,
commercially acceptable, or if any aspects of each side's
position do not fit, negotiation is not the answer.
This is why at times the most important word to use in any
negotiation is 'NO'.
When not to negotiate (ways of saying 'no'):

People say a lots of different things when they really know
the answer is "No."
"I'll see what I can do."
"I'll let you know.""

"Maybe."
"I'll ask."
"I'll find out."
"You could call head office and ask; they have more authority
than me."
If the demand or request is not possible, too commercially
demanding, or not reasonable for any reason we must kill it
there and then, or it will come back to haunt you. Do not
negotiate if there are unrealistic demands being made at any
stage. This is for three reasons.
It prevents you having to concede substantial ground
unnecessarily.
It avoids raising false hopes, which would make it
difficult for us later to satisfy later.
It stamps your personal authority and professionalism
on the situation.
A clear and honest "No, I'm afraid not," with suitable
explanation and empathy for the other person's situation is
all it takes.
notes on debt negotiation

Whether debts are business or personal, these debt
negotiation skills should help you to improve your situation.
Negotiation of debts for business, or personal debts such as
credit cards, or debts with other creditors, start with one
simple rule that is often overlooked:
debt negotiation skill 1:
negotiate!
Amazingly many people who find themselves confronted by
personal or business debts and pressure from creditors fail to
think of negotiation as an option. Understandably fearful or

embarrassed, people and businesses with debt problems
usually fail to confront the situation until it's too late. Fear
not - most peole and businesses get into serious debt at
some stage in their lives. Many of the most successful
business owners and tycoons have been bankrupt or
presided over insolvent businesses at some time - getting
onto debt is part of experience and risk-taking in business,
and it's part of life in the process of growing up. You are not
alone. The important thing is what you do about it. When
you know you have a problem, start negotiating. Debtors
often think there's no point, that negotiation isn't an option,
but it is, and here's why:
Creditors most fear losing their money and having to write
off the debt altogether. That's why creditors generally are
very happy to begin the negotiation process when debts
have become a problem for the debtor. To a creditor,
negotiating a debt means that they have a chance of
recovering some or all of the debt. If a creditor fails to begin
a debt negotiation with the debtor, the creditor faces costs
of debt recovery (solicitor's letters and debt collection
agency fees, etc), and a real risk that the debtor will for
whatever reason be unable to pay any of the debt
(insolvency, bankruptcy, deliberate avoidance, etc), which
leaves the creditor no option other than to write off the debt,
losing everything, and having to pay debt recovery costs.
Where there is negotiation there is hope of partial or
complete debt recovery, and the avoidance of debt
collection costs, which is why creditors generally welcome
the offer to negotiate from a debtor in difficulty.
Seek advice and help. Whether for a personal or business
debt, don't try to do it all by yourself. Getting into debt can
be a lonely and theatening experience, so seek a friendly
shoulder to cry on, someone to share your thoughts with,
and ideally someone who has a bit of experience and
wisdom, who can help you see a way forward. Try to avoid
paying for this sort of help - avoid the unknown, especially

the pariahs out there who will take advantage of your
vulnerability given half a chance. If you have personal debts
such as credit cards contact an advisory service - ther are
plenty who can help depending where you are in the world. If
your business has debts, contact your trade association, or
local business support centre, again there are various
organizations depending on where you are. At the very least
call on a friend to help find some support and advice. Linked
to the points above and below, the creditor is often a really
good source of help and advice - remember, the creditor
wants you to succeed, not fail.
The third skill is to ask the creditor for help. Options usually
appear straight away when a creditor realises there is a debt
problem, because the creditor wants to help keep the debtor
solvent. Options typically extended by creditors include:
renegotiated credit and supply terms, enabling the
business debtor to continue to trade.
extension of the period by which the debt has to be
settled.
price, product and supply arrangement review, to
determine whether future economies can be found for
the debtor, to avoid increasing the debt any more than
absolutely unavoidable.
debtor stock-holding review, to assess possibility of
returning stock to the creditor, and reducing the debt.
Creative creditors may come up with more ideas - the
important thing is to talk and work together to resolve
the problem constructively.
The third debt negotiation skill is about behaviour and style.
Work with the creditor. Be open and positive, and build trust
with the creditor. If the creditor trusts you and believes that
you wish to resolve the debt honestly and as fully as you

can, then the creditor will be positive and flexible in return.
They want to help you work your way through the difficulties,
because if you fail, the likelihood is that the debt will have to
be written off altogether. The people negotiating for the
creditors spend their lives dealing with debtors who are
dishonest, elusive, and distrustful. When a debtor
demonstrates willingness to co-operate and negotiate fairly
the creditor will respond in kind. Debts are a threat to the
creditor's business too, which is why debt recovery people
can be firm and aggressive. You will reduce the creditor's
need to be aggressive if you co-operate and build trust.
Make changes. Debts build up because something has gone
wrong, so understand what it is and take steps to prevent it
happening again or continuing. Debts don't generally happen
by accident, they happen because plans are wrong, controls
are too relaxed or non-existant, or because spending isn't
properly monitored and measured. Identify what's wrong and
put it right. Tell the creditor what you are doing so they they
understand you have taken steps to ensure the problem
won't get worse or re-occur.
Keep smiling. Not easy, but try to keep things in perspective.
Aim to honour your commitments and obligations as best
you can, but keep things in proportion. Do your best for the
creditor(s), but be fair to yourself. If you are still reading this
you'll not be the sort of person who deliberately and
maliciously gets into debt and then seeks to avoid
responsibility. So try to keep a calm detachment, and don't
eat and sleep your debt difficulties. Do what you can to
resolve your debt problems, but make sure you spend time
re-fuelling your spirit and strength. Business is a bit like a
game, it's a means to an end. It's not life and death. Money
is a means to an end too. It's not life and death.

A negotiation story (light relief for negotiating
training sessions or debt negotiation meetings)
A sales-woman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona
when she sees a Navajo woman hitch-hiking. Being a kindly
soul, the sales-woman stops the car and invites the Navajo
woman to climb in. During their small talk, the Navajo
woman glances surreptitiously at a brown paper bag on the
front seat between them. "If you are wondering what's in the
bag," offers the sales-woman, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it
for my husband." The Navajo woman is silent for a while,
nods several times, and says ........
"Good trade."
(ack. C Byrd)
For advice on negotiating techniques, negotiation training, or
strategic planning for large scale negotiations, contact us.

cherie carter scott
cherie carter-scott's rules of life
Cherie Carter-Scott PhD is a very modern guru. Her theories
explain our attitudes and behaviour with a special clarity,
and provide a practical guide to behaviour and self
development. Dr. Carter-Scott achieved her PhD in human
and organisational development and for the nearly 30 years
has been an international lecturer, consultant and author.
She founded the MMS (Motivation Management Service)
Institute and has been called a guardian angel to CEO's.
Carter-Scott's book 'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules' is
essential reading if you are interested in behaviour,
relationships, communications, and human personality.
Cherie Carter-Scott's rules for life - also known as 'The Ten
Rules For Being Human' and referenced in her book with Jack
Canfield: 'Chicken Soup For The Soul' - are a map for
understanding and pursuing personal development, and for
helping others to understand and develop too. 'If Life Is A
Game, These Are The Rules' is also commonly referenced
book in the life-coaching industry.
Here is a brief summary and explanation of Cherie Carter-
Scott's 'rules of life'.
cherie carter-scott's rules of life
(Carter Scott references this quotation:) "Life is a succession
of lessons which must be lived to be understood." (Helen
Keller)
Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it
or hate it, it's yours for life, so accept it. What counts is
what's inside.
Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons. Life is a
constant learning experience, which every day provides
opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to
you, and learning them 'is the key to discovering and
fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life'.

Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your
development towards wisdom is a process of
experimentation, trial and error, so it's inevitable things will
not always go to plan or turn out how you'd want.
Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement - of
ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it's also
'the act of erasing an emotional debt'. Behaving ethically,
with integrity, and with humour - especially the ability to
laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the
perspective that 'mistakes' are simply lessons we must learn.
Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned.
Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and
challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons -
they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from
them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are
requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the
acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance
- 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things
happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To
blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an
escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you,
and what happens to you. Patience is required - change
doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen.
Rule Five - Learning does not end. While you are alive
there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the
'rhythm of life', don't struggle against it. Commit to the
process of constant learning and change - be humble enough
to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be
flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed
to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new
possibilities.
Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here". The other
side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being
there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and
enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey.
Appreciate the abundance of what's good in your life, rather

than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to
happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.
Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or
hate something about another person according to what love
or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they
are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly
understand and have an objective perception of your own
self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are
opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support
others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are
unable to support others it is a sign that you are not
adequately attending to your own needs.
Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do
with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn
to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry
about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage
resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right
for you. We all possess a strong natural power and
adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace
what lies ahead.
Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your
instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear
them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to
feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on
your natural inspiration.
Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth. We are all
born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences
lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves,
so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and
confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are
universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way,
call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit.
Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and
it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.

This summary is merely a brief outline and simply does not
do the book justice, nor the wisdom within it. If you are
interested in making the most of your life, and helping
others do the same, buy Cherie Carter-Scott's book 'If Life Is
A Game, These Are The Rules'.
if life is a game these are the rules -
cherie carter-scott
Such a simple little book, with so much
common sense about how to get the best
out of yourself and life in general. In a
cynical world the teachings of books like
these do much to encourage truly grown
up, giving, behaviour.
if love is a game these are the rules -

cherie carter-scott
Companion book to the rules of life. As
with the rules of life book, most readers
will say it changes their outlook forever.
With thanks to Carole Byrd, who reminded me of Cherie

Carter-Scott's wonderful principles.
More information at Cherie Carter Scott's website.
Behavioural assessment tools and resources are available
free to view and download at the businessballs free online
resources section.
See also Steven Covey's Seven Habits Of Highly Effective
People and Don Miguel Ruiz's 'The Four Agreements'.
'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules' and the structures
within it are the intellectual property of Cherie Carter-Scott.
No attempt is made here to exploit it - merely to review and
inform.

the four agreements - don miguel ruiz
Don Miguel Ruiz's - The Four Agreements
Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements was published
in 1997. For many, The Four Agreements is a life-changing
book, whose ideas come from the ancient Toltec wisdom of
the native people of Southern Mexico. The Toltec were
'people of knowledge' - scientists and artists who created a
society to explore and conserve the traditional spiritual
knowledge and practices of their ancestors. The Toltec
viewed science and spirit as part of the same entity,
believing that all energy - material or ethereal - is derived
from and governed by the universe. Don Miguel Ruiz, born
and raised in rural Mexico, was brought up to follow his
family's Toltec ways by his mother, a Toltec faith healer, and
grandfather, a Toltec 'nagual', a shaman. Despite this, Don
Miguel decided to pursue a conventional education, which
led him to qualify and practice for several years as a
surgeon. Following a car crash, Don Miguel Ruiz reverted to
his Toltec roots during the late 1970's, first studying and
learning in depth the Toltec ways, and then healing,
teaching, lecturing and writing during the 1980's and 90's,
when he wrote The Four Agreements (published in 1997),
The Mastery of Love (1999), The Four Agreements
Companion Book (2000), and Prayers (2001). Don Miguel
Ruiz survived a serious heart attack 2002, since when his
teachings have been largely channelled through seminars
and classes run by his followers, notably his sons Don Jose
Luis and Don Miguel Ruiz Junior. Like many gurus and
philosophical pioneers, Ruiz has to an extent packaged,
promoted and commercialised his work, nevertheless the
simplicity and elegance of his thinking remains a source of
great enlightenment and aspiration. The simple ideas of The
Four Agreements provide an inspirational code for life; a
personal development model, and a template for personal
development, behaviour, communications and relationships.
Here is how Don Miguel Ruiz summarises 'The Four
Agreements':

the four agreements - don miguel ruiz's code for life
agreement 1
Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak
against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power
of your word in the direction of truth and love.
agreement 2
Dont take anything personally - Nothing others do is
because of you. What others say and do is a projection of
their own reality, their own dream. When you are
immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont
be the victim of needless suffering.
agreement 3
Dont make assumptions - Find the courage to ask
questions and to express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid
misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this
one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
agreement 4
Always do your best - Your best is going to change
from moment to moment; it will be different when you
are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance,
simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment,
self-abuse and regret.
the four agreements - don

miguel ruiz
A life-changing book. Don Miguel
Ruiz's simple guidance for life.
Just read the reviews on

Amazon....
See also Cherie Carter-Scott's Rules Of Life, and Steven

Covey's Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People.
'The Four Agreements' summary is the intellectual property
of Don Miguel Ruiz. No attempt is made here to exploit it -
merely to review and inform.
More about The Four Agreements ideology, The Four
Agreements book, Don Miguel Ruiz and Toltec philosophy at
Don Miguel Ruiz's website.

personality tests
free personality testing materials and tips
Personality tests (psychometrics) are essential for managing
people and understanding yourself. You should also use
personality tests if you are recruiting or developing people. A
selection of personality tests and working style self-
assessment tools are free to view and download below.
Supporting diagrams and other tools are available at the free
online resources section.
Below are links to the leading personality testing
organisations. Thomas International and Katherine Benziger
are strongly recommended because they are very helpful
and accessible. If you want to learn more about how the
brain works and psychometric testing, then I would urge you
to read Katherine Benziger's book: Thriving In Mind - The Art
Of Using Your Whole Brain.
You may use any these free tests and assessment materials
provided you acknowledge copyright and mention this
website.
We do not accept responsibility for any liability that arises
from the use of these materials and you are strongly advised
to seek local qualified advice if in any doubt about the use or
positioning of these tools. Assessing people is a sensitive
matter, and needs handling carefully - assessments and
tests are positive development tools, not sticks with which to
beat people. See the disclaimer notice below.
free personality tests and assessments - free to
download
free quick Maslow hierarchy of needs self-test (based on
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)
free XY-theory individual and organisation test (based on
McGregor's XY Theory)
take the online ethics test - mostly for fun

free Skill Set and Behaviour self-assessment test (primarily
for sales/commercial/business roles)
free Personal Business Strengths Profile self-assessment (for
self-awareness, interview and appraisal preparation)
free handwriting (graphology) self-assessment quick-test (for
graphology training, self-awareness, interview and appraisal
preparation)
A free Kolb learning styles indicator is available from Don
Clark's Big Dog website.
personality testing, assessment and graphology links
Thomas International
Katherine Benziger
The British Institute of Graphology
Saville and Holdsworth
The Morrisby Organisation
The Test Agency
Oxford Psychologists Press
Belbin
ASE (NFER-Nelson)

Acronyms and abbreviations dictionary for training
and business
acronyms and abbreviations finder and definitions -
business, medical, military, funny acronyms and
abbreviations
An acronyms and abbreviations finder. This acronyms list
contains acronyms and abbreviations with origins in the
army, navy, medical, computers, internet, business and
training fields, including the best funny acronyms and
abbreviations. Use this acronyms and abbreviations finder to
spice up your reports, speeches and presentations. Strictly
speaking, acronyms are words formed from the
abbreviations of others, but as you'll see, many of these
acronyms aren't words at all, and even some of the best
known acronyms like LASER and RADAR have bent the
acronym rules. Acronyms, whether true acronyms or not,
and abbreviations add colour and fun to our language.
Acronyms and abbreviations assist learning. Acronyms and
abbreviations used properly also enhance communications.
Many acronyms and abbreviations are also motivational and
inspirational for training. Some of these great acronyms and
abbreviations originated as far back as the 1940's, others
more recently. When using acronyms and abbreviations for
serious communications ensure that definitions and
meanings are understood. Send your own acronyms and
abbreviations and we'll add them to this acronyms and
abbreviations finder list and dictionary.
acronyms and abbreviations
AAA
Alive, Alert, Aggressive. One of very many triple-A
acronyms. Somewhat macho but catchy nevertheless, and
not a bad rallying call for self or team in a variety of
situations (visit to the dentist, disaster de-debriefing with
scary CEO, public speaking pep-talk, etc.) Apparently
originated in the Seal Cove fishing community on Grand

Manan Island in the Bay of Fundy, New Brunswick... (Ack G
Myers)
ACRONYM
Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding
Meaning. A bit of a cheat but how apt for near top of the
list. Great for dinner parties and smart-asses. (Ack. Ralph
Johnston.)
ACORN
A Classification Of Residential Neighbourhoods.
Acronym for the CACI Ltd research organization's system of
demographics classifications, used for consumer marketing
in the UK. More about ACORN and other demographics
classifications.
ADDIE
Analysis, Design, Development, Implementation,
Evaluation. The process of innovation, any field at all.
Deviate from it at your peril. (Ack. Don Clark)
ADIDAS
All Day I Dream About Sex. Various applications. An
expression or accusation of being less than highly motivated
by one's job or task in hand. (Ack PF)
AEIOU DDD
Apoplexy, Epilepsy, Injury, Opium or other drugs,
Uraemia, Dead Drunk and Diabetes. Medical acronym
and useful mnemonic for remembering the different possible
diagnoses of unconsciousness. (Ack Dr Duffield)
AFLO
Another Frigging Learning Opportunity. Polite version. A
big mistake or onerous task. (Ack. Janet Connolly)
AFTO

Ask For The Order. The 'psychological imperative' and the
most important rule of selling, despite which, millions of
salespeople usually forget it.
AIDA
Attention, Interest, Desire, Action. If your sales or
advertising approach doesn't follow this sequence it won't
work. Also extended version AIDCA - the 'C' is for
Commitment or Conviction (on the part of the customer).
Also known as the Hierarchy of Effects, but HOE doesn't have
quite the same ring as AIDA.
AKA
Also Known As. An remarkable acronym that's now so well
established that it's virtually become a word, and certainly
requires no reference to the original source words to be
immediately understood. Aka is truly up there with the all-
time great acronyms like radar, scuba, quango and yuppie.
AKUTA
A Kick Up The Arse. Arguably a valid motivational method,
but with limited range of uses, and rarely used properly or
correctly timed (See the Aristotle quote about losing one's
temper). Much more effective when self-administered.
ALF
Always Listen First. Obviously great for training sessions
generally, also counselling, customer service, selling, etc,
and relationships overall. (Ack. M Booth)
ALITALIA
Airplane Lands In Turin And Luggage In Ancona. Air
travel acronym for those frustrating lost luggage moments.
The metaphor is universal of course, although there would
be certain destinations that could substitute and fit perfectly:
Turkey, Tangiers, Australia, Alaska, etc. (Ack M Janes)
ALO

A Learning Opportunity. Generally something you'd rather
not do that someone else has decided will be 'good for
you'... (Ack. JC)
APB
All-Points Bulletin. The classic USA police alert, as
featured at least fifty times in every single episode of Hawaii
Five-O, Cagney and Lacey, Kojak, Starsky and Hutch....
APE
Attentive, Peripheral, Empathic. The three main types of
listening. Empathic listening is the skill of understanding
meaning and motive in another's words, a considerably
powerful ability.
AWOL
Absent Without Leave. Military acronym, which implied a
few days in the punishment block for the absconder when
apprehended, the expression is now well established in life
generally and applied to any missing, lost or wandered-off
person or item causing breach of rules or mere
inconvenience.
AWTF
Away With The Fairies. Medical/healthcare acronym from
the ODSA stable. No longer politically correct in the clinical
arena, this term is used on notes or charts to denote a
patient who is in a confused or demented state. Doctors and
nurses should use with extreme care, if at all, as it has
become commonly known in recent years and relatives tend
to get a little miffed. Having said which, the term is perfectly
apt in the boardroom or shop floor if referring to senile old
directors grimly hanging on to their old fashioned notions, as
well as their dead men's shoes. (Ack Richard Beard)
BANANA

Built Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone.
Partner acronym and ideal next stage to NIMBY. (Ack. D
Bodycombe)
BANJO
Bang Another Nuisance Job Out. Sister acronym to JFDI.
For those irksome tasks that won't go away, no matter how
long you leave them at the bottom of the in-tray. (Ack. Julie
Bramhall)
BASIC
Beginners All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code.
Acronym name for the early computer programming
language. Makes a good quiz question. (Ack R Leviton) See
also COBOL.
BEER
Behaviour, Effect, Expectation, Results. The headings by
which to assess performance of anything, particularly a new
initiative. A great discipline when working with a team or
delegating another to conduct a review, when it's importnat
to keep the review focused. (Ack. Don Clark)

BID
Break It Down. When training anything to anybody never
teach the whole thing all at once. Break the skill or process
down to digestible parts. This will avoid destroying
confidence, and enable gradual progress to the point that
the whole thing can be practiced.
BHAG
Big Hairy-Arsed Goal. The polite version 'Big Hairy
Audacious Goal' doesn't have quite the same ring to it (no
pun intended). (Ack. Morrie Cook)
BIAT
Boss Is A Twat. No nonsense here... one of the more direct
modern workplace acronyms. (Ack R Biggs)
BLT
Base-Line Test. More boring and less tasty alternative to
the more common usage - Bacon Lettuce and Tomato
(sandwich). (Ack. Don Clark)
BMT
Before My Time. If you are a new broom trying to sweep
clean, this is a useful response to the 'we've always done it
that way' school of thought. In other words, 'that was then
and this is now'. (Ack. M Paretski)
BOBFOC
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch. Nightclub and
dating vernacular, and not gender specific. (Ack. JHB)
BOCCA
Belief, Optimism, Courage, Conviction, Action. For the
process of change. (Ack. M Cook)
BOGOFF

Buy One Get One For Free. Marketingspeak, but also
great for emphasising the need for creative thinking to
achieve cost-effective, high perceived value promotional
selling.
BOHICA
Bend Over, Here It Comes Again. A fine motto for all who
suffer under incompetent management. If you're a Theory-X
manager (see Douglas McGregor X-Y Theory), your staff will
regularly use this in your honour. For the fans of double-
barrelled acronyms this is an ideal partner for SNAFU, as in
'How are things today?' 'Oh, SNAFU BOHICA...' (With thanks
to Ralph Johnston.)
BOHOF
Back Of Hand On Forehead. For those BOHOF moments.
BTP
British Transport Police. More amusingly the acronym
allegedly takes on an alternative meaning among certain
transport staff who translate instead to mean Be There
Presently (or Possibly or Potentially) when enquiry
demand from customers exceeds the staff resource that is
available to respond. (Ack AB)
BTW
By The Way. One of the most commonly used abbreviations
today, meaning 'incidentally' or 'in passing', and, BTW,
originally meaning 'by the way of a secondary subject or
matter', which was earlier shortened to 'by the bye', which
has now almost passed out of use. 'By the way' is referenced
in 1870's Brewer, so it's not a recent expresssion.
BUNDY
But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet. Nurses' and doctors
receptionists' shorthand, but has many other applications
elsewhere.
BURP

Bankrupt Unemployed Rejected Person. Never use this,
just try to be kind and understanding. See Maslow.
CADET
Can't Add, Doesn't Even Try. Assessment acronym for the
numerically and motivationally challenged.

CAP
Cover All Possibilities. Versatile training and planning
acronym. A more polite mnemonic than the P6 expression.
(Thanks L Woodhouse).
CHINA
Chick Hunting In North Africa. Naval acronym, suitably
toned down. (Ack S Dancer)
CHIP
Come Home I'm Pregnant. Another acronym gem from
the 2nd World War, and potentially applicable today for
husbands on prolonged residential training courses, drilling
rigs and overseas work assignments - see also ITALY,
HOLLAND, SWALK and NORWICH, etc. (Thanks Sandy Fox)
CLAMPS
Challenge, Location, Advancement, Money, Pride (or
Prestige), Security. Employment and recruitment industry
acronym: the six acceptable reasons for leaving your job if
asked why in a job interview, cited by MJ Yate (interview guru
and author). See the job interviews questioons and answers
page.
COBOL
COmmon Business Orientated Language. Acronym-
derived name for the early computer language. (Ack. RL) See
also BASIC.
CPFR, CPFDR
Collaborative Planning, Forecasting and
Replenishment. Relatively modern supply chain
management term, sometimes more fully expressed as
CPFDR (Collaborative Planning, Forecasting Demand and
Replenishment). Alternatively and less likely: Continuance
Policy - Domestic Relations Division (related to legal process
in Philadelphia County USA). Or it's also a US Engineering

qualification, or a microbiological term for a Mitochondrial-
type Ferredoxin Oxidoreductase, when it would be shown as
CpFdR.
CPT, CPI and CPC
Cost Per Thousand, Cost Per Inquiry and Cost Per
Conversion. Advertising terms and crucial measures of
advertising and selling performance. CPT refers to the cost of
reaching each thousand people of the target audience with
the advertising message. CPI is the cost of each inquiry
received, ie total advertising cost divided by the number of
inquiries received. CPC is the total cost of each converted
sale. Lowest CPT doesn't necessarily produce the lowest CPI,
neither CPC. Lowest CPI doesn't necessarily produce lowest
CPC. Conversion ratios or percentages between CPT, CPI and
CPC are what count.
CRAFT
Can't Remember A Frigging Thing. Polite version. Great
for describing a tedious training course or meeting, or one of
those awful roadshow 'pep up the workers' presentations by
the new CEO. Eg, "I'm so motivated since seeing the CRAFT
presentation/being on the CRAFT course." (Ackowledgements
to Liam Speden)
CUOA
Compulsive Use Of Acronyms. Not guilty....... There is the
true story of the meeting that took place in a particular
government office to discuss the effects of EMU. Some
considerable time into the meeting it was discovered that
half of the participants thought they were there to discuss
the European Monetary Union, while the other half were
thinking about Environmental Monitoring and Utilisation.
(With thanks to Kevin Thomas.)
DAGMAR
Defining Advertising Goals for Measured Advertising
Results. The principle that the effectiveness of advertising

can only be measured if the aims of the advertising are
clearly specified before it takes place.
DILLIGAFF
Do I Look Like I Give A Flying Fig? (Polite version.) For
when you're totally unconcerned at someone else's
predicament (someone wants a cigarette break, or is late for
your presentation). Also great for illustrating the 'apathetic
worker' syndrome. Eg 'We have fifteen engineers, but
fourteen of them are DILLIGAFFs.' (Acknowledgments to Dr
Neale Roney.)
DIN
Do It Now. See JFDI.... For procrastinators everywhere. 'We
all know what happens to people who stay in the middle of
the road. They get run over'. (Aneurin Bevan)

DISFOB
Digital Interface is a Shit FOr Brains. Highly insulting but
amusing term allegedly used by certain computer technical
support staff to describe a completely inept user. Appalling
of course but still funny. (Ack. GJ) See also the ID ten T code,
PEBCAK, PICNIC and UBAD.
DINKY
Double Income No Kids Yet. The only people these days
who can remotely afford to buy a few bricks of and a couple
of fence panels towards their first house.
DOGDWEG
Dreaming Of Getting Drunk With Eddie Grundy.
Descriptive and derisory term for daydreamers everywhere,
particularly during the seminar graveyard session after
lunch, whether they listen to 'The Archers' or not. Also for
those intent on an early finish on Friday afternoon, last day
of a week-long residential training course.
DONFI
Day Off, Not Friggin' Interested. Most commonly used by
off-duty staff of amenities such as hotels, swimming pools,
holiday camps, bars, etc., towards fellow staff to signify their
non-availability while using the facilities. (Ack R Banham)
DTS
Danger To Shipping. Another ODSA term for particularly
obese patients, very transferable (and equally insulting) to
anyone who ate all the pies. (Use with great care - thanks D
Chadwick)
E&OE
Errors and Omissions Excepted. Shorthand disclaimer
notice, used as a rider at the bottom of invoices and other
documents with potentially legal and contractual

implications. Effectively means that no liability is accepted
for mistakes and omissions. (Ack. N Whiteley)

EBITDA
Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and
Amortization. One of a series of esoteric 'EB' (Earnings
Before..) financial acronyms, eg, EBT = Earnings Before
Taxes; EBIAT = Earnings Before Interest after Taxes; EBIT =
Earnings Before Interest and Taxes; EBITD = Earnings Before
Interest, Taxes and Depreciation; and the completely
unrelated EBRD = European Bank for Reconstruction and
Development. (Earnings are profits from operating and non-
operating activities.) More financial terms and definitions on
the financial terms and acronyms section.
EFTPOS
Electronic Funds Transfer at Point Of Sale. Retail
acronym. Extension of EPOS (Electronic Point Of Sale),
whereby the retailer or seller point of sale system allows
payment by electronic credit or debit method via connection
to a central banking agency. (Ack L Starkey)
EGYPT
Eager To Grab Your Pretty Toes. Polite version of armed
forces acronym code used in letters to sweethearts at home,
as other examples NORWICH, SWALK, HOLLAND, CHIP, etc.
(Ack R Tickner)
EPACA
Evaluate, Plan, Action, Check, Amend. And so on.... The
helix of never ending improvement.
EPOS
Electronic Point Of Sale. The retail industry term for auto-
readers - normally of bar-codes - at store checkout tills. EPOS
caused a retail revolution, enabling massive advantages for
retailers and sellers, including automated stock control and
re-ordering, sales tracking, market research, staff de-skilling,
customer service, customer spending profiling and loyalty

card systems. Sometimes referred to as EPS. See also
EFTPOS.
ETAM
Everything To Attract Men. It was suggested to me a
while ago that this is the origin of the ladies fashionwear
chain name. I suspect it isn't, but it's an amusing acronym all
the same - maybe someone out there knows the truth?
F11K
Frigged If I Know. The mysterious 'F Eleven K' code has
been appearing on technical query reports for many years.
(Ack DR) See also the 'ID 10 T' code.
FAB
Features, Advantages, Benefits. Steps along the way to
empathic selling. Don't talk about what your product is, say
what it will do for your listener.
FAS
Fat And Stupid. (ODSA). Use with caution, although safely
describes those 4 inch thick system manuals, written by so-
called experts, that don't actually explain anything about
how to use the system. (Thanks Sandy Fox). If you can
suggest any other ideas for safe use of this acronym please
contact us. Also means Feasibility Analysis Study, which isn't
nearly so enticing.
FAT
Final Acceptance Testing. Marketing or product
development technical term. Crucial stage often overlooked
by egocentric owner-managers and corporate chieftens,
expensive designers and advertising agencies, politicians
and millennium commissioners, etc, who become seduced
by their own magnificence, and make disasterous
assumptions on behalf ordinary people who then decide not
to buy/vote/turn up etc. (Ack. Don Clark)
FBO

Failing Better Offer. A caviat for many occasions - business
negotiating, social diaries, time management and planning,
quality management, percentage management - a great
alternative to simply saying maybe or perhaps, or yes, when
you really mean FBO. (Ack. Ben Ball)
FEAR
Forget Everything And Run. Polite version (Ack A Davice).
One of the best reverse acronyms ever devised. It's what
happens when the fear response takes over, and the
primative brain switches to auto-pilot. Great for
presentations training and 'training the trainer', to
emphasise why nobody ever does anything really well under
extreme stress except shut down. Alternative acronym
meaning: False Evidence Appearing Real (courtesy Zig
Ziglar).

FIDO
Forget It and Drive On. Dwelling on past disappointments
or seeking revenge is self-destructive; better to concentrate
effort on the next challenge.
FIAT
Fart In A Trance. Every organization has a person who
seems to be perpetually in FIAT mode. Most of us experience
being in this state at least a couple of times a week,
especially Mondays after heavy weekend, or while captive in
corporate presentations or boring training sessions.
Alternative to MEGO. (Ack Tony Lomas)
FIFO
First In First Out. Originally an accounting term, to provide
a convention for writing down the balance sheet value of
assets of the same type. Apply it to any situation where the
oldest go first and the newest stay longest; rather like the
HR policies of many large organizations... Alternatively the
autocrat's approach to team-building and new recruit
induction: Fit In or Frig Off, (polite version). (Ack GR)
FILO
First In Last Out. Again originally an accounting term for
depreciation practice, whereby the oldest assets are the last
to be written off. The term has wider applications,
particularly rock festival car parks, overcrowded tube trains
and airport buses.
FINE
Fanatical, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.
Alternative ironic acronym response to the universal
question, 'How are you?.....' (Ack D Jenkins)
FIST
First In Stays There. Financial and stock-holding term,
describing the practice of not rotating the stock, so that the

first pieces of stock stay in stock and 'on the books' for ever.
(Ack J Taylor)
FLA
Four Letter Acronym. Arguable contradiction in terms, and
companion acronym for TLA. See also UTLA and UFLA.
FLK
Funny Looking Kid. (ODSA). If you must make
discriminatory remarks on job application forms this may
help you to avoid legal action for discrimination against the
aesthetically challenged.
FLUF
Fat Little Ugly Fellow. Polite version. For a short boss with
Napoleonic syndrome. (Ack Dennis Harrison)
FLOFTUS
First Lady OF The United States. Acronym for the
president's wife, used by Whitehouse staff according to
Richard Clarke, in preference to the more obvious and widely
referenced FLOTUS. It's a mystery why the F is employed -
perhaps FLOTUS means something else as well? Answers on
a postcard please...
FMCG
Fast Moving Consumer Goods. Nothing to do with skills
development, just an acronym that lots of people have heard
and don't know what it means.
FND
Friggin' Nearly Died. Another ODSA, transferrable to
descriptions of any traumatic aftermath, eg, sales
conferences involving overnight stays and obliging night
porters; excessive outward bound courses; car journeys with
the firm's worst driver, etc. (Ack. A Carr)
FOB

Free On Board. FOB is a shipping term, meaning 'Free on
Board', used when clarifying prices for import/export. It
means the seller is liable for the goods and responsible for
all costs of insurance, transport, insurance, etc, until and
including the goods being loaded at the port. A buyer will
normally ask for the FOB price, knowing that this price is free
of any extra costs of getting the goods from the seller to the
port and on board the craft or vessel. From the seller's point
of view an FOB price must include/recover his costs of
transport from factory or warehouse, insurance and loading,
because the seller is unable to charge these costs as extras
once the FOB price has been stated. It originates from the
meaning that the buyer is free of liability and cost up to the
point that the goods are loaded on board the ship.
FOC
Free Of Charge. Widely used acronym promising a good
deal, however see TANSTAAFL.
FOFO
Frig Off and Find Out. Polite version. One of the great
training and management acronyms, it emphasises the
opportunity or requirement for people to find answers
themselves rather than be spoon-fed, which achieves little.
Generally the process of development is much strengthened
using FOFO principles wherever possible. Nevertheless, use
it with care and with humour - see the Transactional Analysis
guidelines on keeping communications adult-to-adult. If in
doubt use GAAFOFY instead (see GAAFOFY). See also
WIOFYFS. (FOFO: Ack. Neal Stothard)
FORD
Found On Roadside, Dead. Apt and amusing acronym to
describe a project, idea, etc., not worth bothering with, due
to high probabilty of ultimate failure. A quick explanation for
not pursuing the non-viable. An excellent reminder of the
need to invest one's time productively. (Ack. Dave Compton)
FRACS

Fornicates Regularly And Chain Smokes. (ODSA
courtesy L Speden) Polite version.
FUBAR
Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition. Polite version; sister
acronym to FUBB, dating from way back and like FUBB
popularised by American forces in the 2nd World War.
(Thanks for reminding us, Morrie Cook)
FUBB
Fouled Up Beyond Belief. The polite version of an old
acronym that is just as useful today as when first devised.
Probably originated in the 2nd World War.
FUD
Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. Acronym from the
marketing world, in which propositions leveraged by FUD
create additional motivation for the target audience to buy
or act - for example Y2K computer scare stories, various
types of insurance, extended warranties and guarantees,
security and surveillance offerings; typically most
preventative products and services. (Thanks M Adamson)
GAAFOFY
Go Away And Find Out For Yourself. Even more polite
version than the polite version of FOFO. See also WIOFYFS.
GAAP
Generally Accepted Accounting Principles. To non-
accountants this may seem a contradiction in terms.
GAAR
General Anti-Avoidance Rule. Pertaining to taxation and
the avoidance thereof.
GAAS

Generally Accepted Auditing Standards. Perhaps only
marginally less contradictory than GAAP, but they do exist,
honestly.
GAK
God Alone Knows. Originally British First World War
doctor's shorthand on a traumitised soldier's medical report
for shell-shock or other nervous disorder (this prior to any
official recognition of nervous condition resulting from
months or years active service under fire and
bombardment). Nowadays GAK serves as an incredulous
reponse to any unfathomable question. See also NYDN.
GASP
Group Against Smokers Pollution. Nothing to do with
business, but a really great acronym.
GIGO
Garbage In Garbage Out. Originated as a computer
metaphor but deserves a much wider exposure. Use freely
for any situation at all that involves effort and output (esp.
design, recruitment, purchasing, etc.) Variations include
CICO = Crap In Crap Out, and SISO, which you'll be able to
work out for yourself. (Ack. GJ)

GLAM
Greying, Leisured, Affluent, Married. Another wonderful
demographics acronym.
GMY
Godt Mitt You. (God be with you) The only Anglo-German
hybrid abbreviation I know, used today as a sign-off in
certain naval communications, notably still among Swedish
vessels. Some believe its origin dates from the 2nd World
War, when the message was sent between British and
German enemy submarines operating in surface mode, when
traditionally they would not engage, other than to
communicate their mutual respect through this expression.
(Ack Robert Stael Von Holstein) Others possible origins are
suggested: That GMY was a greeting between German
Wolfpack submarines during WWII who used the mixture of
German and English words to confuse the allies; it was a
traditional greeting between commercial ships; it stems from
old unofficial telegraph code; is was an invention of a
swedish naval officer. Apparently the signal GMY is
mentioned in "I nationens intresse", a novel by Jan Guillou. A
retired WWII navy officer ascribes the origin of the signal to
Christer Kierkegaard, who died 1999. There is apparently no
mention of GMY in British or German signal books from WWII.
(Ack Pieter Kuiper) If you can read Swedish these's more
about GMY here.
GOCO
Government Owned, Contractor Operated. An
admission by government that they have the expertise to
run the country (supposedly) but not anything as practical as
a hot-dog stall.
GOSPA
Goals, Objectives, Strategies, Plans, Activities. A
simple blueprint and order of thinking for business planning
of any sort, even for large complex challenges and entire
businesses. (Thanks Chris Starke)

GROLIES
Guardian Reader Of Limited Intelligence, Ethnic Skirt.
(ODSA) See FLK and other ODSA's. Use with care if you must
use is at all, and whilst not necessarily recommended, there
is a potential application for explaining the more technical
aspects of customer profiling.

GROW
Goals, Reality, Options, Will. A maxim from the life-
coaching industry, which makes a lot of sense, and is
relevant to any situation that requires realistic objectives to
be established, and then the planning and determination to
achieve them.
HARTL
Hardly At Running Temperature Long. An acronym that's
now become a term used generally by certain UK service
engineers to describe a machine with consistent problems,
break-downs, faults etc., ("Is it a Hartl..."). The origin is
apparently from a company called Hartl Crushtek, founded in
Austria, which used to manufacture rock crushing machines,
typically used in quarries. The machines allegedly developed
a reputation for poor reliability, which led, allegedly, to the
development of the HARTL reverse acronym by the
company's service engineers, (as well as the demise of the
Hartl Crushtek UK operating subsidiary). (Ack. Mark
Sandercock)
HIP
High Involvement Product. A marketing term for a
product which requires a high amount of thought before
purchase, cars, holidays, etc. By definition the selling
approach must be different for HIPs compared to FMCG's and
LIP's for instance.
HIVI
Husband Is Village Idiot. Classic nurses' shorthand.
HOLLAND
Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies. Acronym from the
envelopes of wartime home-bound love letters (see also
CHIP, ITALY, SWALK, EGYPT and NORWICH). Text messaging
ain't got nothing on it...
HOPEFUL

Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life. Another
poignant demographics acronym. Could be a great name for
the next governement initiative on pensions...

HTTP
Hyper-Text Transfer Protocol. Destined to become one of
those abbreviations which nobody knows the origin of in
thirty years time, and here mainly lest we forget.
IBM
I Blame Microsoft. Specially for those who find it difficult to
accept responsibility for their own actions, or more usually,
inactivity. (Acknowledgments to Dr Neale Roney.)
ID10T
Idiot. Not an acronym obviously but worthy of inclusion. The
'ID Ten T' code has been used by technical service people for
years, and probably explains very well a large proportion of
user-reported faults and queries. See also PEBCAK and
PICNIC.
IDEA
Identify, Design, Execute, Augment. Process for
changing anything. Identify the issues, priorities, constraints,
resources; Design the plan; Execute the plan; Augment,
refine, adjust and improve activies to consolidate change.
(Ack. Dean Whitehead.)
IDEAL
Identify, Define, Explore, Action, Lookback. Process for
solving problems: Identify the problem, Define it, Explore
possible solutions and effects, Action the chosen solution,
and Look back at the SNAFU you've brought about (not really
- Look back at a 100% successful outcome and a job well
done). (Ack. Don Clark)
IIP
Investors In People. The UK system of human resources
quality and development accreditation system. Or more
amusingly, Intellectually Impaired Person (or
Passenger or Protester) - being the unofficial term

allegedly used by some London Transport staff to describe a
person aggressively questioning staff and appearing not to
understand the information or explanations provided. (Ack
AB) See also PITSA.

IMCIS
Identify, Manage, Change, Improve, Show. The basis of
the Japanese approach to TQM, as in: Identify customer-
supplier relationships, Manage processes, Change culture,
Improve communications, Show commitment.
(Acknowledgments to John Oakland.)
IMHO
In My Humble Opinion. We don't list many acronyms and
abbreviations used in emails and texting, etc, because there
are millions of them and other sites do it better; however the
IMHO acronym has a certain resonance for life and
communications generally, and it's been around for ages, so
it is worthy of inclusion here. (Thanks DH)
IOWA
Idiots Out Walking About (or Wandering Around). For
all those executives who haven't got a clue what's really
going on in their companies, and think that a quick stroll
among the workers will boost morale and uncover some
great idea how to save or make the next million. (Ack Tom
Calvert)
IPATTAP
Interrupt, Patronise, Argue, Threaten, Terminate,
Apply Penalties. A less than ideal customer service process
for dealing with complaints and dissatisfied customers -
widely exhibited, especially by large organizations in the
finance, insurance and telecoms sectors. The acronym is
useful to remind all exponents of poor customer service how
not to do it...
IRBIA
I'd Rather Be In Ambridge. You've seen people with that
'IRBIA' look on their face, when the real world is getting to be
too much. When they'd rather be somewhere else, far away
from the pressures of a particularly tedious meeting or

training course. (Ambridge is the fictional and normally
idyllic home to Radio 4's 'The Archers'.)
ITALY
I Trust And Love You. Wartime back-of-envelope lovers
code. (See also NORWICH, SWALK, CHIP, EGYPT and
HOLLAND)

JAFO
Just Another Frigging Observer. Polite version. Originally
from the days leading up to 'Y2K' (computing and business
term for the year 2000) when everywhere large tense
business meetings grappled with measures to avert
catastrophic computer problems associated with the date
change. Anyone unable to contribute to the meeting
typically introduced themselves as 'Just here as an
observer..', and became known as a JAFO. The acronym is a
fitting term for non-participants, hangers-on, etc., where
others are taking responsibility. (Ack. T Smith)
JFDI
Just Frigging Do It. Polite version. Pronounced 'Jifdi', this
should surely be every procrastinator's motto. A must for
management training.
JIT
Just In Time. Pertains normally to resource and stock-
holding planning the aim of which is to reduce to a torturous
knife-edge minimum an organization's cash tied up in non-
productive activities. Alternatively represented by the
description 'disaster waiting to happen'. Use freely and
scornfully wherever you see such examples. Use variations
by adding suffixes with the initial letters of the particular
starved resource (eg JITS = Just In Time Stock, JITT = Just In
Time training, JITIA = Just In Time International Aid, etc.)
Humorous antonyms include JTL (=Just Too Late) and the
frustratingly JTFL (=Just Too Frigging Late).
JTFL
Just Too Frigging Late. Polite version. Amusing acronym
for what happens when JIT fails to work properly. (Ack NAB)
KIPPERS
Kids In Parent's Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings.
(Ack. D Rowland)

KISS
Keep It Simple Stupid. Apply to any situation to deter
unnecessary complication (See also 'JFDI').

KAS
Knowledge, Attitude, Skills. The constituents required for
people to succeed at what they do, individually and
collectively. Knowledge and Skills can largely be trained;
Attidude can't - it's a factor of the organizational
environment - accountants and bosses can't measure it, so
it's often overlooked, and then the boss and the accountant
wonders why people aren't performing. (Ack. Don Clark)
KPI
Key Performance Indicator. A measure, target or
standard, used to manage and gauge the performance of an
activity, process or project. Establishing a series of KPI's is a
very useful way to manage, monitor and assess the
effectiveness of any organizational activity or process
(Thanks for reminder Nick Whiteley).
KYHAFTY
Keep Your Hands And Feet To Yourselves. For the
youngest of audiences, or unruly adult ones. Originally a
teachers' acronym but much too good to restrict to school
assemblies. (Acknowledgments to Anstey Latimer School,
Leicester, England.)
LADDER
Longitudinal and Directional Distance Extremity
Reacher. Perhaps one of the silliest and most wonderful
reverse acronyms ever to have been devised. (Ack M Rand)
LANO
Lights Are Not On. For people who aren't concentrating or
simple unable to do so. See MEGO and PEARL. The shorthand
coded version of 'The wheel is turning but the hamster is
dead'. (Ack. L Speden)
LASER

Light Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of
Radiation. Should technically be LABTSEOR, but it would
never have caught on. (Thanks KBS)

LAST
Listen, Advise, Solve, Thank. A good aid for training
customer service and complaints handling. (Ack Tumby).
Certain organizations continue to pursue less positive
methods, notably the IFO technique (Ignore and Fob-Off) or
the IPATTAP model (Interrupt, Patronise, Argue, Threaten,
Terminate, Apply Penalties).
LBIAC
Left Brains In Airport Carpark. As used by airport and
airline ground handling staff the world over, and also very
good for inattentive delegates who've had to make an
expensive air trip just to fall asleep on your training course.
(Ack. David Rawsthorn)
LEDO
Listen, Empathise, De-personalise, Offer. Mainly for
customer service, and also good for any conciliation or
conflict resolution: listen to the complaint, empathise with
the customer, de-personalise the situation (both of you stand
back and look at it objectively), and then offer a solution.
Brilliant and simple. (Ack. Matt Booth)
LOBNAH
Lights On But Nobody's At Home. Great extension of
LANO or as an alternative to PEARL. Also for people who say
that they've been listening when really we know they
haven't.
LOL
Lots of Love. (Or) Laughing Out Loud. Ubiquitous
acronym found in email, chatroom and texting
communications. Very probably the most common acronym
in use today.
LOMBARD

Loads Of Money But A Real Dickhead. As if any
confirmation were needed; inheritence or accumulation of
wealth doesn't necessarily correlate with decency and
integrity. A good acronym for Maslow and Herzberg
emphasis. (Thanks DM for reminder)

LIP
Low Involvement Product. Marketingspeak for a product
which doesn't require much thought before purchase.
Question: Are all FMCGs LIPs as well?
MBF
Maximum Buggerance Factor. If something can go wrong
then it almost certainly will do, so when planning anything
always build in an MBF contingency. (Ack PK)
MBWA
Management By Walking About (or Wandering
Around). Depending on who is doing the walking about and
whether you are in the vicinity this could be either a good
thing or a bad thing. If you are a manager and like to
manage by walking about make sure you do it with humility
and genuine interest. Better still actually do the bloody job
on the factory floor for a week and you'll really find out
what's going on. (Thanks Tom Calvert for pointing out this
omission.) See also IOWA. The term MBWA is generally
acknowledged to have been coined by Tom Peters (In Search
Of Excellence, 1982), but the MBWA style, and it's extended
variant MBWAL, were part of a new management ideology
which seems to have been first pioneered by a few bright
American companies as far back as the 1940's (eg Varian
Associates, the healthcare company), along with
Management By Objectives and Open Door Management.
The style was later adopted and further evangelised from the
late 1950's onwards by David Packard and William Hewlett,
the founders of Hewlett Packard (who incidentally seem to
have learned it from working at some stage with Edward
Ginzton of Varian). This modern approach is also known as
Silicon Valley Management - SVM - because that's location of
the first companies who used it, and where its effectiveness
was first proven. The SVM style, and its contemporary
variations, now a mainstay of recently successful big
organizations like Cisco and Sun, is also indirectly referred to
as the 'HP Way'.

MBWAL
Management By Wandering Around and Listening.
Extension of the MBWA management technique.
MEGO
My Eyes Glazed Over. Watch for this sign from your
audience at your next presentation. If spotted you could
need more acronyms.... See PEARL and LANO also.
MELVIN
Mediocrity, Ego, Limits, Vanity, Incompetence, Name-
calling. Non-productive aspects of workplace behaviour and
attitude. Various MELVIN terms (eg 'NO MELVIN', 'Don't be a
MELVIN', 'No MELVIN's here', etc) help remind people of the
behaviours to avoid, especially in blame cultures or
negative-thinking environments. (Ack P Lubbers) Sits well
alongside other motivational and positive attitude maxims,
many examples on the quotes and leadership sections, and
links well with the philosphies of Covey's seven habits,
Carter-Scott's rules of life and Ruiz's Four Agreements.
MIP
Mobility Impaired Person. Semi-official acronym used by
London Transport staff to describe a person who may have
difficulty using stairs or escalators because of some
physiological condition or because they are burdened with
heavy luggage and/or children. (Ack AB) See also VIP.
MMM or 3M
Measurable, Manageable, Motivational. A great tri-pod
or three-legged stool analogy - the three essential struts for
any contracted arrangement or understanding, or delegated
task. Remove any of the three legs and the structure falls
over. See also SMART, and the Smartie Hunt team building
game. Alternatively: Mrs, Mother, Martyr, with an optional
fourth M for Mistress if appropriate. (Ack E Gidley)
MOP

Measure Of Performance. Critical and essential aspect of
all sorts of business activities (training, delegation, planning
anything, product development, etc), often overlooked,
which invariably produces unsatisfactory and un-measurable
results that then surprise the perpetrators. (Ack. Don Clark)
MUPPET
Most Useless Police Probationer Ever Trained. Not a
recommended trainer's term, given obviously disrespectful
undertone. (Thanks NT). See also Muppet in the word origins.
MUPPIE
Middle-aged Urban Professional. Amusing twist on the
YUPPIE theme. Another demographic social class acronym
from the 1980's.
NAAFI
No Ambition And Frigging Interest. Amusing variation of
the armed forces acronym, which properly means Navy,
Army and Air Force Institutes. (Ack AB and CN)
NALGO
Not A Lot Going On. Retrospectively applied meaning to
the NALGO trade union name. The acronym's original
meaning was National Association of Local Government
Officers, which merged with NUPE and COHSE in 1993 to
form UNISON, now the largest UK trade union representing
over a million public service workers and volunteers. (Ack R
Tickner)
NATO
Not A Team Operator. For glory-hunters and autocrats
everywhere. (Ack. L Speden)
NB
No Bullshit. Forget the boring Latin version, this is what it
really means. Incidentally, the boring Latin version is 'Nota
Bene', literally meaning 'observe well'.

NFL
Normal For Londoners. (ODSA). Terrifically versatile put-
down for any grouping you wish, in that the third word can
be anything you need it to be (apparently NFN = Normal for
Norfolk, is used in London, and NFF = Normal For Fife, is
used in Edinburgh - thanks A Carr). Beware potential
discrimination litigation hazards, ie nationalities are not
recommended for third words. Ideal applications, particularly
for in-company inter-departmental rivalries, third word
options: management, marketing, engineers, salesmen,
solicitors, packers, telephonists, secretaries, etc.
NFG
No Frigging Good. Polite version. (Ack D Rhead) There are
lots of other variations of the TLAIF (Three Letter Acronym
Including F-word). Others include, suitably toned down: NFL
= Not Frigging Likely, NFJ = Not Frigging Joking, NFM = Not
Frigging Much or Not Frigging Many (ironic), Not NFI = Not
Frigging Interested (Ack G Rix), FNG = Frigging New Guy, a
military term for new recruit or transfer in. (Ack A Farrell),
NFA = Not Frigging About, meaning 'I'm being serious', NFP
= New Frigging Policy, NFR = New Frigging Rules, NFW =
Never Frigging Works, to describe a faulty system or process,
NFK = Nobody Frigging Knows, and NFW = No Frigging Way,
the firm refusal. The list is potentially endless.
NLP
Neuro-Linguistic Programming. A modern scientific
model for communication and self-development. See the NLP
section for more information. 'Neuro' refers to the way your
brain and senses, interprets and process your experiences.
'Linguistic' refers to the interpretation of experience through
language. 'Programming' refers to and implies your actual or
potential ability to affect your mind's control over your
behaviour and language, and thereby to 'program' yourself.
NICAM

Near-Instantaneously Companded Audio Multiplex. I
bet you never knew that.... A great one for quizzes and
smart aleks. 'Companded' is a technical compound word
made from 'compressed' and 'expanded', like modem and
codec, also featured on this page. (Ack KBS, and D Harte for
further details). Alternatively and sardonically employed by
some sound reproduction purists to mean Not Intended to
Carry Any Music (Ack P Kirkpatrick).
NIGY
Now I've Got You. An acronym specifically relating to
Transactional Analysis 'games', however, the term is widely
applicable beyond this, eg, uncovering deceipt or duplicity,
solving a problem, mastering a new skill, etc.
NIMBY
Not In My Back-Yard. Term given to a person or group
having the audacity to complain about a nuclear waste
recycling plant or high security prison being built close to
their homes. Gave rise to the term 'nimbyism' which is
generally used by people to criticise others who are
behaving in exactly the same way as would those making
nimbyism accusations, were they to find themselves in
similar circumstances (this type of person known as a
PIGINIMBY - Phew I'm Glad It's Not In My Back-Yard). See also
BANANA.
NOCD
Not Our Class Dear. Upper-class, snobbish, derogatory
term for something of unacceptable quality. See NTD and
PLU.

NONCE
Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise. A slang prison word
for a sex offender, derived supposedly from the term chalked
above a culprit's cell door by prison officers, meaning that
the prisoner should be kept apart from others for his own
safety. Alternatively the acronym came after the word, which
was derived as a shortening of 'a little bit of nonsense' being
a prison euphemism for the particular offence.
NORWICH
Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home. As featured on
countless thousands of wartime envelopes from the front, to
sweethearts living with Mum and Dad back home. It's a
wonder that the silent K survived... Still, 'KORWICH' doesn't
have quite the same ring. (See ITALY, SWALK and HOLLAND)
NTD
Not Top Drawer. Upper-class people's expression refering
to something of less than acceptable quality. See NOCD and
PLU for other snobbish code.
NTSC
National Television System Committee. Although the
video and TV abbreviation is widely used, the meaning and
origins are not commonly known. The abbreviation refers to
colour television standard developed in the USA decades
ago, and still used all over the world, despite its propensity
to 'colour drift' (whereby the colour reference signal wanders
off-frequency). This tendency gave rise to the amusing
alternative derogatory meaning given to the abbreviation
(allegedly by boffins at the BBC): Never Twice the Same
Colour. (Ack D Harte) See also SECAM and PAL acronyms.
NYDN
Not Yet Diagnosed - Nervous. British Army Doctor's
shorthand from the First World War, used on medical reports
of soldiers suffering from shell-shock. Prior to official

recognition of the condition, the term GAK (God Only Knows)
was used. By December 1916 more than 17,000 British
troops were officially diagnosed as suffering from nervous or
mental disability (we'd say shell-shock or post-traumatic
stress disorder these days), despite which the British military
authorities continued to charge and convict sufferers with
cowardice and desertion, and sentence to death by firing
squad many of those found 'guilty'. In all, between 1914 and
1918, 346 British soldiers were shot by firing squads
comprised of their own reluctant comrades, for what
amounted to being incapable of fighting due to shell-shock
and mental illness. Many were very young men - some even
less than the official recruiting age. Many had previously
distinguished themselves for many months or years in some
of the most savage war conditions ever seen. None had
proper representation at their 'trials'. Most were informed of
their fate a few hours before the execution, even though the
decision to carry out their sentence had been made some
days or weeks prior - appeals were effectively prevented.
Relatives were rarely informed prior to the execution and
afterwards were refused access to any papers or details,
incredibly because permission was required by the
condemned man (difficult to believe I know, but true). Other
countries either did not shoot their own soldiers, or have
long since issued full pardons, and in many cases have
commemorated the victims. Only in 1989 did the British
Government agree to release full details of the trials and the
circumstances of the executions (on a rolling 75 year basis,
so as to reduce the embarrassment and reaction). Today,
despite continuing pressure, the British Government still
refuses to consider pardoning these men, whose families still
suffer. More about this subject at the deeply disturbing
website for the Shot At Dawn Campaign.
OAP
Over Anxious Person. (ODSA) Original doctors' shorthand
seen on prescription notes, but applicable far more widely.
OCEAN

Openness to experience, Conscientiousness,
Extraversion/introversion, Agreeableness,
Neuroticism. The 'big five' personality dimensions, by
which modern day psychologists believe every person's
personality and behaviour tendencies can be measured.
Interestingly, between 30% and 50% of the variation
between people's measurements in these characteristics are
attributable to genetics (ie., 'nature' - inherited genes from
ancestors and specifically parents), and the remainder to
environmental factors (ie., 'nurture' - the way we have been
brought up and our experiences). This means that in terms
of the 'nature versus nurture' debate, on average 'nurture'
factors have more influence over our personality than
'nature'. That said, certain character traits are more likely to
be caused by inherited (nature) than others, and extremely
subtle differences exist, for example, propensity to hold
serious religious belief is more likely to be genetic (nature)
than propensity to have strong political attitudes, and
propensity to drink coffee or alcohol is more likely to be
genetic (nature) than propensity to smoke tobacco. (Source:
Nature Versus Nurture by Matt Ridley)

ODSA
Original Doctors' Shorthand Acronym. There are lots of
them, first used by GP's, consultants and nurses as secret
coded comments about the patient. These wonderful
acronyms are now available for us all to use and enjoy, as
most of them are applicable far beyond the medical world.
'ODSA's are marked as such throughout this archive. (With
acknowledgments to Dr Phil Hammond.)
OHP
Over-Head Projector. These days a much under-rated
piece of equipment, like a pencil and paper, and a flip-chart.
OINKY
One Income, No Kids Yet. Amusing demographics
acronym from the dating industry.
ORCHID
One Recent Child, Heavily In Debt. These people are at
Maslow Hierarchy of Needs level 3, so don't try appealing to
their level 4 needs. See Maslow.
OSINTOT
Oh Shit I Never Thought Of That. Great for project
management. (Thanks Kevin Thomas.)
PAC
Parent, Adult, Child. The three alter-ego states defined in
Eric Berne's theory of Transactional Analysis. See the
Transactional Analysis pages on this site.
PAFO
Pissed And Fell Over. (ODSA) Especially good for training
courses involving one or more nights in a hotel, when
reviewing activities of the night before. Useful for accident
reports too.

PAL
Phase Alternate Line. Television standard developed by
the BBC, to be a more stable (self-correcting) technology
than NTSC for handling the colour-carrier TV signal, by
inverting its 'phase' on every line as the picture is drawn
down the screen. (Ack DH). See also SECAM. Also
Price/Availability List, and lots of others too mundane to
mention.
PANIC
Pressured And Not In Control. Descriptive and useful
acronym for all sorts of situations. A reminder also that
pressure alone does not produce panic - it's whether you can
control it. (Ack G Christie-MacAllan)
PDA
Public Display of Affection. Courtesy of Prince Andrew,
Duke of York, as quoted in a press interview, circa early
2000, as part of an explanation as to why he can't hug his
children. (During his formative years - nor now for that
matter - PDA was not the done-thing in the royal household.)
PDA is actually very good for the soul, whether you're a royal
or not. Try it, you'll like it, and so will the recipient.
Alternative meaning - Personal Digital Assistant - not
nearly so interesting.
PDK
Polyester Double-Knit. A derogatory term for someone
who is out of fashion, from USA 1980's campus society.
PDQ
Pretty Damn Quick. Simple and often effective
abbreviation, for accelerating and prioritising projects,
activities, requests, etc., actually from the late 1800's.
(Thanks MR for reminder)
PEBCAK

Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. One of
the great modern acronyms. Usage not restricted to the
computer operators - apply to any situation where the
human element contributes the weakest link. (Ack. Don
Clark) See also PICNIC, UBAD, DISFOB, and the ID 10 T code.
PEP
Paternalistic, Economic, Participative. The three main
motivational styles.
PEST
Political, Economic, Social, Technological. Classic
situational analysis headings, guaranteed to prompt nods of
approval when used in business presentations. You may see
'Environmental' used instead of 'Economic' depending on the
context. Either version is actually a very useful analysis and
interpretation tool for business and marketing situations. See
the free PEST analysis template. See also 'SWOT'.
PEARL
Pupils Equal And Reacting To Light. Original nurses'
shorthand, and now a sardonic form of MEGO. A good
presenter should never hesitate to subject a bored seminar
delegate to the PEARL test.
PICNIC
Problem In Chair Not In Computer. Shorthand of IT
technical support staff to describe 'confused' users. Sister
acronym to PEBCAK (Ack D Chadwick) See also UBAD and
DISFOB.
PIGINIMBY
Phew I'm Glad It's Not In My Back-Yard. A type of
hypocrite who thinks they sit at the right hand of God, and
loudly goes around accusing others of nimbyism (see
NIMBY).
PIMS

Profit Impact of Marketing Strategy. Important reminder
of the aim, just in case the marketing effort threatens to
disappear up its own rear end.
PINS
Persons In Need of Supervision. Quite an apt expression
for emphasising responsibility and grown-up behaviour. For
example, training session syndicate work when groups leave
the watchful eye of the facilitator, or for positioning
unsupervised tasks and assignments.
PITA
Pain In The Arse. Use in conjunction with SIG. Ideal for
customer services training. (Ack. L Speden)
PITSA
Person (or Passenger) Intoxicated Through Substance
Abuse. Allegedly a London Underground tube system
acronym used by certain staff to describe a member of the
public found un-conscious or semi-conscious on station
premises. The product of the victim's over-indulgence when
present on the platform is known colloquially as a 'Platform
Pizza', leading to occasional word play with the similarity in
the sounds. (Ack A Butler)
PLOKTA
Press Lots Of Keys To Abort. Emergency IT acronym.
Completely useless yet widely practised computer trouble-
shooting method.
PLU
People Like Us. Upper-class reference to describe others
who have similar high-class aspirations and standards. See
also NTD and NOCD for other semi-secret upper-class coded
terms.
POETS (day)

Piss Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday. UK working
expression for Fridays (piss off means 'go away', as well as
'annoy' in the UK). Usage: Question - "Where is everyone this
afternoon?" Answer - "Gone to the pub - it's Poets day."
(Thanks to Rich Brennan for pointing out this glaring
omission.)
POHM
Prisoners Of Her/His Majesty. Not a typical business
acronym, but a facinating fact - apparently the original
meaning of the Australian term 'Pom' or 'Pommie' for the
English (early English settlers in Australia were deported
criminals).
POLARIS
Piss(ed) Off, Looking After Rockets In Submarines.
Naval shorthand for enforced tedium or 'do not disturb', and
adaptable for other specialised management responsibilities,
eg; (looking after) Ramblers In Scotland, Railways In
Stevenage, Robots In Siberia, etc. (Ack PF)
POSH
Port Out Starboard Home. Again, not really a business
acronym, but interesting. The derivation is supposed by
many to relate to the detail printed on P&O tickets denoting
the more expensive cabins on sailings from England to India.
See POSH in the clichs origins section.

POSTAD TV
Priorities, Outcomes, Sequence, Timings, Attendees,
Date, Time, Venue. Nothing to do with Eastern Bloc
broadcasting, these are the essentials for a good meeting,
and what must appear on the agenda. ('Outcomes' meaning
required outcomes, ie discussion, decision, etc.)
POTUS
President Of The United States. Acronym used by
Whitehouse staff. See also FLOFTUS.
PPC
Product Price Close. The ultimate simplification of the
selling process. And yet many still fail to remember even
these fundamental steps. (Ack. M Booth)
PPPP or The Four P's
Product, Price, Promotion, Place. The essential
ingredients of the marketing mix, and the start of 75% of all
marketing presentations.
4P (also PPPP)
Piss-Poor Prior Planning. Military abbreviation which
spawned several variants, see PPPPPP, P6, P7, etc, below.
PPPPPP (aka P6)
Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance.
Extension of the P4 military abbreviation, eminently
transferable to business and life, particularly time
management. (Ack AD) Alternatively, and arguably more
grammatically elegant (can planning be anything other than
prior?...), Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor
Performance, which inevitably opens the possibility of a P7
= Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor
Performance, or P7 = Prior Planning and Preparation
Prevents Piss-Poor Performance, which in turn suggests
a P8 = Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Prevents

Piss-Poor Performance. Dare we imagine anyone could
suggest a P9?.... (Contact us)
PRIC
Problem, Rectification, Investigation, Correction.
Known as the corrective action loop. The essential four
stages for good customer service and delegating
responsibility for quality of service. The main point is that
rectifying the problem is only half the story; you need to
ensure there is no re-occurrence.
PRIDE
Personal Responsibility In Delivering Excellence. A bit
of an acronym cheat because 'for' would sound much better
than 'in', but PRFDE doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
(Courtesy Mr Bull, of the England Rugby Union national team
coaching staff.)
QUALGO
Quasi Autonomous Local Government organization.
Younger brother to QUANGO, and not nearly so famous.
QUANGO
Quasi Autonomous Non-Governmental Organization. A
great acronym and now a well established word in its own
right. In generations to come, folks will muse over its origins
and whether the wrestler of the same name (phonetically at
least), who used to polish his forehead with a towel before
administering his trademark head-but, had anything to do
with the term. A modern day chicken and egg poser.
QFD
Quality Function Deployment. Japanese quality and
service development model.
RADAR
Radio Detection And Ranging. One of the best known
acronyms to have entered the language isn't a true acronym

at all, but then RDAR doesn't trip off the tongue nearly so
well.
RABADAD
Running A Business And Doing A Degree. Members of
this kind of virtual club (otherwise known as SISA - self-
inflicted social abstinence) will recognise the need for such a
concept. (Thanks Jane Penson).
RFI
Request For Information. Sales department shorthand.
Special priority when use in conjunction with RFN (see
below).
RFN
Right Friggin' Now. Polite version. More shorthand from
the school of the empathically-challenged. (Ack. Tom Kane)
RFP
Request For Proposal. More sales department shorthand.
Also high priority when accompanied by RFN (see above).
REMF
Rear Echelon Mother-F..... Military acronym originally
from US Army in Korea, later widely used in Vietnam. A
soldier's term for someone in higher authority, usually in an
office far away from the fighting well behind the lines, who
delights in making things awkward for the front-line soldier.
(Ack B Spowart)
ROI
Return On Investment. Fundamantal measure of business
performance (of a whole business, a part of a business, a
business activity or decision - anything with a cost and
attributable profit). See the explanation in the Financial
Terms section.
RORO

Roll On Roll Off. Originally and still a type of cross-channel
ferry, whereby cars and trucks board one end and disembark
at the other. Now more widely applied to any form of
relatively indiscriminate and fast-turnaround no-nonsense
high-volume human processing method (eg., NHS dentists,
general practitioners, Spanish holiday tattoo parlours, etc.)
ROTFLA..
Rolling On The Floor Laughing And... Internet and
texting abbreviation prefix with too many variations to
mention here, aside from two of the better examples:
ROTFLABIC = Rolling On The Floor Laughing And Biting Into
Carpet, and ROTFLAPIMP = Rolling On The Floor Laughing
And Peeing In My Pants.
RPM
Resale Price Maintenance. The UK Net Book Agreement,
as was. Means by which retail prices are controlled by
primary suppliers. (Alternatively, Revolutions Per Minute, as
in engine speed and 78, 33 and 45 records. In years to come
how many people will know that LP stood originally for Long
Player?)
RUB
Rich Urban Biker. Another amusing demographics social
category acronym. See also GLAM, HOPEFUL, DINKY,
ORCHID, etc
RTFM
Read The Frigging Manual. (Polite version) Original
computer-speak that has now established itself in everyday
language and is used to point out the obvious to anyone
complaining that they are unable to operate any modern-day
appliance (esp. VCR's, burglar alarms, dishwashers, etc)
using purely intuitive methods. (Thanks to Lesley Lawrie for
pointing out this omission)
RTFQ

Read The Frigging Question. (Polite version) Forerunner
to the RTFM acronym, originating in British Military exams,
when candidates would be urged to read the questions
properly before attempting answers. Applicable to any test
or examination situation. (Ack. S Margison)
SABENA
Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again. This now
widely applicable acronym was seemingly pioneered by
Belgian people, referring, in English interestingly, to the
Belgian Sabena airline company (which for the record was
properly titled 'Societe Anonyme Belge d'Exploitation de la
Navigation Aerienne'). (Ack. Anon)
SAGA
Sending Ageing Grannies Abroad. Unlikely to be the
origin of the SAGA holiday company name, but amusing
nevertheless.
SAPFU
Surpassing All Previous Foul-Ups. Polite version. From
WWII, like SNAFU and TABU, only worse.
SCUBA
Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Classic acronym now established as a word in the language,
and another good acronym for quizzes. (Ack KBS)

SECAM
Systeme Electronique Couleur Avec Memoire. The
French virtual-equivalent to the UK-originated PAL TV
broadcast standard, alternatively and amusingly known as
System Essentially Contrived (from the) American
Method, or perhaps more fittingly as System Essentially
Contrary (to the) American Method, both probably
originating from early US TV engineers who developed the
forerunning US NTSC standard. The notion that the SECAM
system probably owes less to the Americans than to the
British method is lost, since although 'Anglican Method' fits
the acronym more accurately, it would have entirely different
connotations.... (Ak DH)
SEP
Someone Else's Problem. Originally from Hitchiker's Guide
To The Galaxy; now in wider use: eg., customer service
applications, inter-departmental negotiations as to
ownership of issues and follow-up, etc. (Ack P Resheph)
SHIT
Simply Hack It Together. (Acknowledgments to Kevin
Thomas.) Alternatively: Sure Happy It's Thursday - we got
over hump day. (Ack. DH). A further fascinating alternative
suggests an amusing and highly debatable derivation of the
modern slang meaning of the word: In the 16th and 17th
centuries most cargo was transported by ship. At this time,
manure was the common fertiliser. The manure was shipped
dry to reduce weight, however when at sea if it became wet
the manure fermented and produced the flammable
methane gas, which created a serious fire hazard. The
practice therefore evolved of stowing manure high in the
ship to keep it as dry as possible, with the result that the
request to Ship High In Transit became a standard
shipping instruction for manure cargo. (Ack JK)
It is a little deflating to know that the derivation can be
traced back to less interesting and somewhat earlier origins;

from Old English scite and Middle Low German schite, both
meaning dung, and Old English scitte meaning diarrhoea, in
use as early as the 1300's.
SIG
Stroppy Ignorant Git. (ODSA). A good one for customer
service training.

SINBAD
Single Income No Boyfriend And Desperate.
Demographics acronym from the Bridget Jones era. (Ack.
John)
SITCOM
Single Income Two Children Oppressive Mortgage. For
consumer customer profiling, Maslow Hierarchy of Needs
examples, etc.
SLA
Service Level Agreement. A remarkably simple and
effective mechanism for ensuring good working or trading
relationships, typically between customer and supplier, but
also between departments, partners or any parties co-
operating to achieve a consistent result. A Service Level
Agreement establishes mutually understood and acceptable
expectations between two or more parties, for instance,
quotation request response times; breakdown service
response time; chargeable and non-chargeable support
items. SLA's are useful also in establishing co-operation
between departments, in order to maintain quality, efficiency
and supply chain or order flow service quality, for instance
complaint escalation timescales; survey requests; pricing
requests, anything where one party expects something of
another. There is no limit to the number of SLA's that can be
established, although recording and publishing them in a
sensible format are essential or they won't be observed.
(SLA also stands for Strategic Link Analysis, the process
which measures a website's search engine rating by virtue of
the number and type of links to it from other websites.)
SMART
Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic, Time-bound. If
you're setting an objective for yourself or agreeing an
objective with another person it must meet these criteria or
you'll have problems. (See the Smartie Hunt team building
game and MMM acronym.)

SMARTER
Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic, Time-bound,
Exciting/Enjoyable, Recorded. The deluxe version of the
SMART acronym, a blueprint fo all objectives, for oneself or
when agreeing objectives with others. (Ack. Don Clark)

SNAFU
Situation Normal - All Fouled Up. Polite version, dating
from the second world war, when widely used by the
Americans forces. Remains one of the best succinct
descriptions by the front line staff of an incompetent
management.
SNAG
Sensitive New-Age Guy. Demographics acronym and
dating term.
SNERT
Snot-Nosed Egostical Rude Teenager. Demographics
acronym of sorts.
SOGI
Senior Officer's Good Idea. Sardonic military term. (See
also WAGII - thanks Mick Whelan)
SOL
Sod Off Letter. Shorthand for the 'thanks, but no thanks'
reply. (Ack. Bill Baston) Also 'Shit Out of Luck', for any
unfortunate result. (Ack. M P)
SONTAP
Say Only Nice Things To All People. Devised originally for
school-children, this acronym touches on a fundamental
principle for peace of mind and a happy fulfilled life. See
particularly The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
(agreement 1 - Be impeccable with your word), also links to
Buddhism, NLP, etc. (Ack Anstey Latimer School)
SPC
Statistical Process Control. Forerunning quality theory
from the 1960's to TQC and TQM.
SPEW

Single Person Evaluation Worksheet. A timesheet, in
other words. Sarcastic term for a list of activities and times,
etc., that you have to submit to justify your existence within
an organisation. (Ack. R Oakley)

SPIN
Situation, Problem, Implication, Need. One of the most
enduring selling acronyms, developed by Neil Rackham
during the 1970's-80's, and still a mainstay of his Huthwaite
International training organization. Remains an extremely
useful process for sales discussion with a prospective
customer. Huthwaite actually say 'Need-payoff' instead of
need, but 'SPINP' just doesn't have the same cachet.....
(SPIN is a trademark of Huthwaite International.)
SPOH
Safe Pair Of Hands. Describes trustworthy people and
organizations, especially when valuable and important
responsibilities are being delegated or awarded. Very
modern business-speak, much loved by men in suits who use
terms like 'a big win' (a new contract) and 'leverage' (being
able to exploit a situation or aspect of strategy for
advantage).
SQ3R
Survey, Question, Read, Recall, Review. Impossible to
pronounce, but nevertheless a great discipline for the
learning-through-reading process. It basically means quickly
Survey the whole thing (ie look but not in detail), next note
down your Question areas, then Read it in detail, Recall your
questions and Review the material you've read. (Ack. Don
Clark)
SSSS or the 4 S's
Shit, Shave, Shampoo and Shower. Crude term for the
single male's Friday-night bathroom routine, especially prior
to an evening out, in search of the fifth S (choose from:
Smooch, Sheilas, Sex, etc). (Ack EG)
ST FAGOS
Sod This For A Game Of Soldiers. Saint Fagos - the Patron
Saint of thankless tasks. When you next hear someone utter

the oath, 'For the love of St Fagos...', while struggling with a
pointless report or piece of daft analysis, you will know what
they mean. Also St Fagoc - conkers instead of soldiers... (Ack
T Beecroft)
STM
Skill, Task, Measure. The classic process for developing
skills in people: identify the Skill, agree a Task for the
trainee to perform that will involve using the skill, and then
Measure the performance, ie the trainee's command of the
skill.
STBO
State The Bleeding Obvious. Various uses. Good for
report reviews and meetings, especially as a retort to stupid
questions, and to terminate time-wasting waffle after a
decision or point has already been made.
SVM
Silicon Valley Management. Modern management style
pioneered by David Packard and William Hewlett, HP
founders, and other successful US companies based in the
area of California known as Silicon Valley (so called after the
silicon chips, central to the computer industries) including
principles such as MBWA (Management By Walking Around),
MBO's (Management By Objectives) and Open Door
Policy/Management. See also MBWA.
SWMBO ('swambo')
She Who Must Be Obeyed. The theoretical partner
acronym HWMBO has for some reason never really caught
on... (Ack. D Pagett)
SWAG
Scientific Wild Arsed Guess. This is ideal for those
situations when someone can't bring themselves to come up
with an opening estimate, even though they're the best
placed person to do so. Great for encouraging

technical/detailed/finisher people who might be
uncomfortable with the vagueness of the start of the
creative process. WAG = shortened less scientific form. (Ack.
Don Clark)
SWALK
Sealed With A Loving Kiss. A kind of wartime envelope
text message to a loved one. (See also HOLLAND, EGYPT,
CHIP, ITALY and NORWICH)
SWOT
Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats.
Famous marketing analysis headings acronym, and actually
a very useful framework for interpreting and explaining
business situations. See the free SWOT analysis template
and examples, and free SWOT exercise team building game.
See also the PEST acronym. Use either or both in business
presentations to impress and convince your audience that
you know a bit about marketing.

TABU
Typical Army Balls-Up. Soldiers' acronym from WWII. See
also SNAFU and SAPFU.
TAPES
Technique And Practice (or Pressure) Equals Skill.
Technique alone is not enough. Application of a new
technique in a practice or pressure situation is required to
turn the technique into a skill and then improve it.
TANSTAAFL
There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch. A double
negative, but who cares - it's a great acronym. For anyone
who needs reminding of the realities of the business world.
(Ack Dr Neale Roney.) For detail of the origin of TANSTAAFL
see the entry in the cliches origins section.
TARDIS
Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Space. Dr Who's
company car, so to speak. I'm unsure as to whether it's one
or a number of dimensions. Perhaps someone will clarify?...
TARFU
Things Are Really Fouled Up. Polite version. Slightly less
cynical sister acronym to SNAFU.
TATT
Tired All The Time. (ODSA). Great for dead products, over-
used ideas, lazy employees, old dogmas and philosophies,
the list goes on....
T-CUP
Total Control Under Pressure. Used to emphasise the
need for concentration and focus, by the England rugby
coaching staff.
TEAM

Together Everyone Achieves More. A simple truth, and a
great acronym for training and team building. (Ack. C
Keeble)
TEETH
Tried Everything Else?..Try Homeopathy. Another ODSA,
but perfectly admissable outside the medical arena, such as
counselling or stress training. Also good for sales and
marketing campaigns that never seem to work.
TEPID
Tastes Expensive, Pension Inadequate, Dammit.
Alternative to HOPEFUL.
TESOL
Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. Of
limited use unless you move in English language teaching
circles.
TFL
Too Friggin Late. Polite version. (Ack. T Kane) See also
JTFL.
TIC
Taken Into Consideration. As found in legal margins. (Also
Tongue In Cheek - a device for reducing the risks
associated with using humour or sarcasm. Ack. H Niklaus.)
TIG
Task, Individual, Group. The three essential components
for a balanced people-management approach, as per the
Action Centred Leadership model.
TIP
Theory Into Practice. General call-to-action acronym. A
good mnemonic for end-of-training or meetings, when
responsibilities and accountabilities need to be attached to

ideas and plans, with commitment to implementation and
timescales. (Ack LW)
TINA
There Is No Alternative. For that extra bit of emphasis -
interestingly attributed to Baroness Margaret Thatcher.
TLA
Three Letter Acronym. Of course.
TMI
Three Meaningless Initials. Antidote to the TLA. Also 'Too
Much Information'. (Ack M P)
TNT
Thanks, but No Thanks. Shorthand for the rejection letter
pile, for unsuccesful job applicants, inappropriate sales
propositions, or anything worthy of polite refusal. (Ack S
Parkes)
TOIS
Task Oriented Instructional System. The basis of
experiential learning and training - as in 'I do and I
understand' (see the Confucius quotation). Use in conjuntion
with TAPES. The Task provides the Pressure element which
when applied to the Technique produces Skill. (Ack. Don
Clark)
TOTBAL
There Ought To Be A Law. Sounds like it should be a TV
game show. Cliche-based acronym and a good basis for
discussions and exercises - see team building games.
TQC
Total Quality Control. Forerunning theory from the 1970's
to TQM, and successor to SPC..
TQM

Total Quality Management. Most people believe that the
Japanese TQM philosophy, if not all the products, was home-
grown in Japan. Not so. A little known fact is that the two
American gurus, Juran and Edwards-Deming, taught the
Japanese all they know about Total Quality Management in
the 1950's. To the Japanese, they are both still revered as
industrial icons.
TQMS
Total Quality Management System. Extension of TQM,
describing the system by which a company manages Total
Quality. Allegedly when the Lockheed Aircraft company
introduced their own Total Quality Management System
some years ago their engineers devised an alternative
meaning - Time to Quit and Move to Seattle (home of
competitor Boeing). (Ack SG)
TRIP
Transaction, Relationship, Information, Partnership.
The sequential development of a successful customer-
supplier co-operation.
TSSBAT (tissbat)
The Student Should Be Able To... This is a terrific
acronym for emphasising and agreeing expectations of
responsibility, capability, action plans, objectives, etc.; any
situation where responsibility or knowledge is needs to be
confirmed. (Ack. LW)
TTFO
Told To Frig Off. Polite version. Hospital accident and
emercency department ODSA term, appearing regularly at
the bottom of casualty reports, for drunks and
hypochondriacs alike. (Ack Hammed)
TTS and CCC
Teams, Tools, Systems and Culture, Communication,
Commitment. The hard and soft elements of the Total

Quality Management model. Every quality company has
these things in place.
TUBE
Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination. (ODSA). Not
recommended for use in any circumstances whatsoever.
Potentially career-ruining discrimination litigation hazard. You
could try substituting other parts of the anatomy, but use of
this particular acronym in business is always likely to be
limited.
TWAIN
Technology Without An Interesting Name. 'TWAIN' is the
de facto compliance interface standard for scanning devices,
and the name of the group formed in 1992 (by vendors such
as Adobe, Ricoh, Xerox and Kodak) with the purpose of
developing and promoting the 'TWAIN Initiative'. TWAIN
actually originated as as a metaphorical name - not an
acronym - based on literal meaning of twain, which is 'two'
or 'two things'. Inspiration for this came from the opening
line of Rudyad Kipling's 1889 poem, Ballad Of East And West:
"Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall
meet." Considering that the technology is concerned with
connecting two functions - that of driver and application -
this seems perfectly logical. However, the clever folks at
TWAIN decided to use the word in upper case (apparently to
improve its distinctiveness), which contributed first to the
belief that is was an acronym, and next to a competition to
create an acronym root phrase retrospectively from the word
(sponsored by who or what I don't know), with the result that
many now believe the word came from the acronym and not
vice-versa. The TWAIN group iteself acknowledges that the
expression continues to haunt the standard. Incidentally the
next lines of the poem are:
"...Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God's great Judgment
Seat;
But there is neither East nor West, Border, nor Breed, nor
Birth,

When two strong men stand face to face, tho' they come
from the ends of the earth!"
(Ack. M Rosling)
UBAD
User Being A Dickhead. Another terrible yet highly
amusing technical support insult, used to describe an inept
customer. (Ack G Jones) See also DISFOB, PEBCAK, PICNIC,
and the ID 10 T code.
UFLA
Unidentified Four Letter Acronym. Companion acronym
to UTLA.
UPB
Unique Perceived Benefit. Your USP from the customer's
perspective. What your USP means to your customer. It's
essential to discuss it in these terms with your customer.
USP
Unique Selling Point (or Proposition). You can't be very
successful in any business unless you have at least one USP,
that is to say - you've got to be doing something that nobody
else is doing.
UTLA
Unidentified Three Letter Acronym. More interesting
than the straight TLA. See also UFLA above.
VIOT
Village Idiot On Tour. Informal acronym used by London
Transport staff to describe certain types of visitor to London,
particularly those struggling to comprehend the
Underground system and blaming everyone but themselves
for their confusion. (Ack A Butler)
VIP

Visually Impaired Person. Semi-official acronym used by
London Transport referring to a blind or partially sighted
person needing assistance. A fitting customer service
variation on the traditional 'Very Important Person' meaning.
(Ack AB) See also MIP.
WAG
Wild Arsed Guess. Shortened form of SWAG, and earlier in
the creative process - even before the project makes it onto
the cigarette packet or napkin. (Ack. Don Clark)
WAGII
What A Good Idea If... Sardonic term from the armed
forces, but eminently transferable and just as effective in
describing any daft instruction from the idiots above. (Ack.
Mick Whelan)
WALOC
What A Load Of Crap. Multiple use acronym.
WASP
White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. As featured in countless
American police chase movies when the good guys are
rushing out the description of the bad guys in the first frantic
APB. (See APB)
WHY
What Have You. Alternative to 'etc'.
WIFE
Wash Iron Fornicate Etc. Polite version. Alpha-males may
not necessarily appreciate the supreme ironic quality of this
acronym.
WIIFM
What's In It For Me? The essential element of all
successful communications, and the principle of persuasion
and influence. If there's nothing in it for the other person,

they may hear but they won't really listen, and without the
WIIFM factor they'll never commit to action. An example of
the WIIFM factor in selling: Airman Peters was assigned to
the Air Force induction training centre to explain and sell the
Air Force Life Insurance to new conscripts. The office
manager noticed that amazingly Peters' success rate was
close on 100%, so he decided to listen to Peters' technique.
After outlining the insurance policy basics to the new
recruits, Peters was heard to say: "If you're killed in action
and have the Air Force Insurance, the government has to pay
500,000 to your beneficiaries, whereas if you don't have
the insurance, compensation is just the statutory 15,000."
Peters paused, and then finished with the WIIFM line, "So
which group do you think they are going to send into action
first?..."
WIOFYFS
Work It Out For Your Flippin' Self - Polite version. Useful
and amusing response to any question requiring you to
STBO. Allegedly originated by a touring rugby team for tour
T-shirt slogan. (Ack. Rob Carr) See also FOFO and GAAFOFY.
WOFTAM
Waste Of Frigging Time And Money. Polite version.
Originated in the Australian Army and now deservedly in
wider use. Eg, "I have to work the weekend on the latest
company WOFTAM project." (Ack. L Speden)
WOMBAT
Waste Of Money, Brains and Time. Another great
acronym from down-under. Ideal for project management
commentaries, certain corporate re-branding schemes, the
latest government training initiative, etc. (Ack David Martin)
WOOF
Well Off Older Folk. Also referred to as WOOFs; A variant
of WOOP below.
WOOP

Well Off Older Person. Also known as Woopie (as in
Yuppie) The new focus of so many modern advertising
campaigns. See also SAGA and GLAM, and WOOF above.
WOTCHA
Wonderful Old Thing Considering His/Her Age.
Patronising alternative to HOPEFUL and TEPID.

WRAP
Wind, Reel And Print. Now used to denote the completion
of any project ('it's a wrap'), this is supposedly originally a
movie-makers' term, used when filming is completed.
WYSBYGI
What You See Before You Get It. Excellent variation on
the ubiquitous WYSIWYG. Ideal for presenting concepts to
stupid boards of directors, who don't understand the creative
process (like the true story about the director of a $multi-
million company who complained that a concept
advertisement layout was full of gobbledegook. It was of
course the random text that designers use instead of copy
before the real stuff is written. True I assure you.) (Ack. Don
Clark)
WYSIWYG
What You See Is What You Get. If you've accessed this
Archive via the Internet you'll probably know this one
already, as WYSIWYG is now common computer jargon,
although not always true. Nevertheless, this famous
acronym has applications just about everywhere.
WYGIWYD
What You Get Is What You Deserve. Much more fun than
the original. Great reminder for people who still don't
understand that if you pay peanuts you get monkeys. And
that nobody, especially monkeys, can make a silk purse out
of a sow's ear. Also great for people who can't brief
designers and programmers properly, don't check copy until
final proof stage, keep changing specifications while work's
under way, etc. You know the types... (Ack. L Speden)
YAHOO
Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle. Yahoo
founders Yang and Filo maintain they only chose the YA (Yet
Another) part of the acronym, and then opted for the word

Yahoo when it leapt out of the dictionary at them, which I
guess counts out one of the other possible interpretations:
You Always Have Other Options. Remaining ones are: Yet
Another Helpful Operation Origin and Yet Another Hypertext
Online Organiser.
YAVIS
Young, Attractive, Verbal, Intelligent, Successful. Yet
another demographic acronym.
YOYO
You're On Your Own. Obvious and wide-ranging uses,
particularly for those moments when someone's digging a
hole for themselves or trying to flog a dead horse. Also a
great partner acronym for JFDI, to reinforce the notion of self-
determination and self-reliance. (Ack. Don Clark)
YUPPIE
Young Upwardly-mobile Professional. Finally perhaps
the best known acronym-derived demographic term ever to
have entered common parlance, but not a real proper
acronym. Should really be YUMP, which in some ways is
better than YUPPIE, but would it have caught on?......
If you have your own suggestions for this acronym finder
please send them via the contact us page.
If you've found these acronyms amusing, see also:
amusing and fascinating origins of words, expressions
and cliches
word-play puzzles and games for quizzes and
exercises
stories and analogies for training, public-speaking
and writing

stories, research findings and analogies
illustrations and analogies for learning and training
Here are some stories, analogies, research findings and
other examples that provide wonderful illustrations for
learning. Read here about the travellers and the monk, the
person who had feelings, the shoe box story, David
McClelland's achievement-motivation experiment, the
scorpion and the frog, Mehrabian's communications
research, murphy's plough, Pavlov's dogs, the monkeys and
the stairs, and more. Analogies, stories, fables and case-
studies are great ways to illustrate business lessons. Stories,
examples, fables and research references add colour and
substance to presentations and reports, and reinforce
learning of all types. Some of these stories are ironic and so
can best be used to illustrate pitfalls and vulnerabilities
rather than best practice. If you know who wrote any of the
unattributed stories below please let us know so that credit
can be given.
Read and enjoy and send your favourite.
tickle me elmo (an induction training and
communications story)
This allegedly took place in a factory in the USA which makes
the 'Tickle Me Elmo' toys, (a children's plush cuddly toy
which laughs when tickled under the arm). The legend has is
it that a new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory
and she duly reports for her first day's induction training,
prior to being allocated a job on the production line. At 08:45
the next day the personnel manager receives a visit from an
excited assembly line foreman who is not best pleased about
the performance of the new recruit. The foreman explains
that she is far too slow, and that she is causing the entire
line to back-up, delaying the whole production schedule. The
personnel manager asks to see what's happening, so both
men proceed to the factory floor. On arrival they see that the
line is indeed badly backed-up - there are hundreds of Tickle
Me Elmos strewn all over the factory floor, and they are still

piling up. Virtually buried in a mountain of toys sits the new
employee earnestly focused on her work. She has a roll of
red plush fabric and a bag of marbles. The two men watch
amazed as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around a
pair of marbles and carefully begins sew the little package
between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager begins to
laugh, and it is some while before he can compose himself,
at which he approaches the trainee. "I'm sorry," he says to
her, not able to disguise his amusement, "but I think you
misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.... Your
job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
get in the wheelbarrow (belief, trust and

commitment)
The story goes: upon completing a highly dangerous
tightrope walk over Niagara Falls in appalling wind and rain,
'The Great Zumbrati' was met by an enthusiastic supporter,
who urged him to make a return trip, this time pushing a
wheelbarrow, which the spectactor had thoughtfully brought
along.
The Great Zumbrati was reluctant, given the terrible
conditions, but the supporter pressed him, "You can do it - I
know you can," he urged.
"You really believe I can do it?" asked Zumbrati.
"Yes - definitely - you can do it." the supporter gushed.
"Okay," said Zumbrati, "Get in the wheelbarrow....."
parachutes (supporting others, acknowledging

others)
Charles Plumb was a navy jet pilot. On his seventy-sixth
combat mission, he was shot down and parachuted into
enemy territory. He was captured and spent six years in
prison. He survived and now lectures on the lessons he
learned from his experiences.

One day, a man in approached Plumb and his wife in a
restaurant, and said, "Are you Plumb the navy pilot?"
"Yes, how did you know?" asked Plumb.
"I packed your parachute," the man replied.
Plumb was amazed - and grateful: "If the chute you packed
hadn't worked I wouldn't be here today..."
Plumb refers to this in his lectures: his realisation that the
anonymous sailors who packed the parachutes held the
pilots' lives in their hands, and yet the pilots never gave
these sailors a second thought; never even said hello, let
alone said thanks.
Now Plumb asks his audiences, "Who packs your
parachutes?..... Who helps you through your life?....
Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?....... Think
about who helps you; recognise them and say thanks."
(Ack JK)
If you know how wrote the original story please contact us so
we can give credit.
spellchecker poem (check your meaning, and the

perils of modern technology)
I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the era rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

I've scent this massage threw it,
And I'm shore your pleased too no
Its letter prefect in every weigh;
My checker tolled me sew.
(If you no who rote it contact us)
chickens (communications story)

This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace
company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes
(notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military
jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an
aircraft travelling at high speed, the test engineers built a
powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the
windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead
chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the
suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the
project appeared in the testing industry press.
It so happened that another test laboratory in a different
part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in
this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very
high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about
the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and
so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun
and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave
them details, and the train engineers set about building their
own simulation.
The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and
cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-
art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little
resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single
windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to
pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the
test booth itself.
The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new
high speed trains required a safety technology that was
beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace

team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive
report of the tests and failures.
The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: "You
need to defrost the chickens...."
(Ack S Money)
the chihuahua and the leopard (creative thinking)

A lady takes her pet chihuahua with her on a safari holiday.
Wandering too far one day the chihuahua gets lost in the
bush, and soon encounters a very hungry looking leopard.
The chihuahua realises he's in trouble, but, noticing some
fresh bones on the ground, he settles down to chew on them,
with his back to the big cat. As the leopard is about to leap,
the chihuahua smacks his lips and exclaims loudly, "Boy,
that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any
more around here."
The leopard stops mid-stride, and slinks away into the trees.
"Phew," says the leopard, "that was close - that evil little dog
nearly had me."
A monkey nearby sees everything and thinks he'll win a
favour by putting the stupid leopard straight. The chihuahua
sees the monkey go after the leopard, and guesses he might
be up to no good.
When the leopard hears the monkey's story he feels angry at
being made a fool, and offers the monkey a ride back to see
him exact his revenge.
The little dog sees them approaching and fears the worse.
Thinking quickly, the little dog turns his back, pretends not
to notice them, and when the pair are within earshot says
aloud, "Now where's that monkey got to? I sent him ages ago
to bring me another leopard...."
the cannibals (a story about management)

A big corporation hired several cannibals. "You are all part of
our team now," said the HR manager during the welcome
briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the
cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of
the other employees." The cannibals promised they would
not.
A few weeks later the cannibals' boss remarked, "You're all
working very hard, and I'm satisfied with you. However, one
of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what
happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads, "No,"
they said.
After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals said to the
others angrily, "Right, which one of you idiots ate the
secretary?"
A hand rose hesitantly in admission. "You fool!" said the
leader, "For weeks we've been eating managers and no one
noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat
someone important!..."
(Ack A Fiorello)
the dog and the bone (be content with what you have
- greed and envy seldom pay)
A dog held a juicy bone in his jaws as he crossed a bridge
over a brook. When he looked down into the water he saw a
another dog below with what appeared to be a bigger juicier
bone. He jumped into the brook to snatch the bigger bone,
letting go his own bone, He quickly learned of course that
the bigger bone was just a reflection, and so he ended up
with nothing.
(Thanks J Phillips - more Aesop's fables here)

"we've always done it that way.." (time management,
challenging habits and questioning procedures)
Apparently this is based on a true incident. A quality
management consultant was visiting a small and somewhat
antiquated English manufacturing company, to advise on
improving general operating efficiency. The advisor was
reviewing a particular daily report which dealt with aspects
of productivity, absentee rates, machine failure, down-time,
etc. The report was completed manually onto a photocopied
proforma that was several generations away from the
original master-copy, so its headings and descriptions were
quite difficult to understand. The photocopied forms were
particularly fuzzy at the top-right corner, where a small box
had a heading that was not clear at all. The advisor was
interested to note that the figure '0' had been written in
every daily report for the past year. On questioning the
members of staff who completed the report, they told him
that they always put a zero in that box, and when he asked
them why they looked at each other blankly. "Hmmm.., I'm
not sure about that," they each said, "I guess we've just
always done it that way."
Intrigued, the consultant visited the archives to see if he
could find a clearer form, to discover what was originally
being reported and whether it actually held any significance.
When he found the old reports, he saw that the zero return
had continued uninterrupted for as far back as the records
extended - at least the past thirty years - but none of the
forms was any clearer than those presently in use. A little
frustrated, he packed away the old papers and turned to
leave the room, but something caught his eye. In another
box he noticed a folder, promisingly titled 'master forms'.
Sure enough inside it he found the original daily report
proforma master-copy, in pristine condition. In the top right
corner was the mysterious box, with the heading clearly
shown ...... 'Number of Air Raids Today'.
See also the monkey story below.

the dam story (how to write a good letter, making
assumptions, jumping to conclusions, and how to
defend wrong accusations with humour)
Here are two letters, according to the story both real, the
first allegedly sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of
Michigan; the second is Mr DeVries' amusing response. The
letters provide a great example of the dangers of making
assumptions and jumping to conclusions, and also how to
reply to a false accusation with humour and style.
the Michigan DOEQ letter
Subject: DEQ File No.97-59-0023;

T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries,
It has come to the attention of the Department of
Environmental Quality that there has been recent
unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of
property. You have been certified as the legal landowner
and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized
activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams
across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of
activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no
permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has
determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland
Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of
1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the
dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing

debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that
dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be
permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease
and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and
brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All
restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31,
2003. Please notify this office when the restoration has been
completed so that our staff may schedule a follow-up site
inspection.
Failure to comply with this request or any further
unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case
being referred for elevated enforcement action. We
anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you
have any questions.
Sincerely,
District Representative
Land and Water Management Division
Mr Devries' letter response
Dear Sirs,
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
Montcalm County.
Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me
to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the
Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. A couple of
beavers are in the process (State unauthorized) of
constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across
the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for,
authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would
be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures
building materials "debris".
I would like to challenge your department to attempt to
emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you
choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could

ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their
dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your
request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of
dam activity.
My first dam question to you is: (1) are you trying to
discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you
require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said
dam request? If you are not discriminating against these
particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I
request completed copies of all those other applicable
beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will
see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled
Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns. My first concern is: aren't the
beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond
Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for
said representation, so the State will have to provide them
with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that
either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain
event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural
occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In
other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone
rather than harassing them and calling them dam names. If
you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition
please contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest
them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam
letter, they being unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right
to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue,
the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have
more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If
the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental

Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural
resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case
can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right
now. Why wait until 1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers
may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for
you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the
bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely
believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and
leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the
beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful
where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam
request, and being unable to contact you on your dam
answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam
office.
Thank you
Ryan Devries and the Dam Beavers
(If you know this story and the letters to be factual or have
any information about the writers so that proper
acknowledgement can be given please contact us)
the blind men and the elephant (perception, truth,

perspective, empathy, communications and
understanding)
There are various versions of the story of the blind men and
the elephant. The blind men and the elephant is a legend
that appears in different cultures - notably China, Africa and
India - and the tale dates back thousands of years. Some
versions of the story feature three blind men, others five or
six, but the message is always the same. Here's a story of
the six blind men and the elephant:
Six blind men were discussing exactly what they believed an
elephant to be, since each had heard how strange the

creature was, yet none had ever seen one before. So the
blind men agreed to find an elephant and discover what the
animal was really like.
It didn't take the blind men long to find an elephant at a
nearby market. The first blind man approached the beast
and felt the animal's firm flat side. "It seems to me that the
elephant is just like a wall," he said to his friends.
The second blind man reached out and touched one of the
elephant's tusks. "No, this is round and smooth and sharp -
the elephant is like a spear."
Intrigued, the third blind man stepped up to the elephant
and touched its trunk. "Well, I can't agree with either of you;
I feel a squirming writhing thing - surely the elephant is just
like a snake."
The fourth blind man was of course by now quite puzzled. So
he reached out, and felt the elephant's leg. "You are all
talking complete nonsense," he said, "because clearly the
elephant is just like a tree."
Utterly confused, the fifth blind man stepped forward and
grabbed one of the elephant's ears. "You must all be mad -
an elephant is exactly like a fan."
Duly, the sixth man approached, and, holding the beast's
tail, disagreed again. "It's nothing like any of your
descriptions - the elephant is just like a rope."
And all six blind men continued to argue, based on their own
particular experiences, as to what they thought an elephant
was like. It was an argument that they were never able to
resolve. Each of them was concerned only with their own
idea. None of them had the full picture, and none could see
any of the other's point of view. Each man saw the elephant
as something quite different, and while in part each blind
man was right, none was wholly correct.

There is never just one way to look at something - there are
always different perspectives, meanings, and perceptions,
depending on who is looking.
the owl and the field-mouse story (on executive

policy-making)
A little field-mouse was lost in a dense wood, unable to find
his way out. He came upon a wise old owl sitting in a tree.
"Please help me, wise old owl, how can I get out of this
wood?" said the field-mouse.
"Easy," said the owl, "Grow wings and fly out, as I do."
"But how can I grow wings?" asked the mouse.
The owl looked at him haughtily, sniffed disdainfully, and
said, "Don't bother me with the details, I only decide the
policy."
(Thanks P Boden)

'...let me through I'm a doctor...' alternatives
(comment on modern times)
The scene, a minor road accident. The casualty is lying on
the ground, surrounded by the inevitable crowd of onlookers.
A stranger endeavours to push his way through the
gathering, saying, "Make way, please. Let me through, I'm a
counsellor". (Ack. PB)
Alternatively: "... Let me through I'm a lawyer.." (or a
journalist, TV reporter, etc..)
aircraft engineering support (lessons in

communications and support service)
According to the story, after every Quantas Airlines flight the
pilots complete a a 'gripe sheet' report, which conveys to the
ground crew engineers any mechanical problems on the
aircraft during the flight. The engineer reads the form,
corrects the problem, then writes details of action taken on
the lower section of the form for the pilot to review before
the next flight. It is clear from the examples below that
ground crew engineers have a keen sense of humour - these
are supposedly real extracts from gripe forms completed by
pilots with the solution responses by the engineers.
Incidentally, Quantas has the best safety record of all the
world's major airlines.
(1 = The problem logged by the pilot.) (2 = The solution and
action taken by the mechanics.)
1. Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
2. Almost replaced left inside main tire.
1. Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
2. Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
1. Something loose in cockpit.
2. Something tightened in cockpit.

1. Dead bugs on windshield.
2. Live bugs on back-order.
1. Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent.
2. Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
1. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
2. Evidence removed.
1. DME volume unbelievably loud.
2. DME volume set to more believable level.
1. Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
2. That's what they're there for.
1. IFF inoperative.
2. IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
1. Suspected crack in windshield.
2. Suspect you're right.
1. Number 3 engine missing.
2. Engine found on right wing after brief search.
1. Aircraft handles funny.
2. Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.
1. Target radar hums.
2. Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
1. Mouse in cockpit.
2. Cat installed.
1. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like
a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

2. Took hammer away from midget.
If you like stories and examples like these see also the tree
swing pictures, which also provide an amusing and useful
comment on departmental relationships, customer service
and organizational communications.
(Ack. CB)
the rat and the lion (do good, what goes around
comes around)
One day a small rat surfaced from his nest to find himself
between the paws of a huge sleeping lion, which
immediately awoke and seized the rat. The rat pleaded with
the fierce beast to be set free, and the lion, being very noble
and wise, and in no need of such small prey, agreed to let
the relieved rat go on his way.
Some days later in the same part of the forest, a hunter had
laid a trap for the lion, and it duly caught him, so that the
lion was trussed up in a strong net, helpless, with nothing to
do than wait for the hunter to return.
But it was the rat who came along next, and seeing the lion
in need of help, promptly set about biting and gnawing
through the net, which soon began to unravel, setting the
great lion free.
The moral of the story is of course to make the world your
debtor - even the humblest of folk may one day be of use.
the two mules (show off expensive things at your

peril)
Two mules travelled regularly together with their loads, from
their town to the city. The first mule, a humble beast, wore a
tatty cloak, and carried sacks of oats for the miller. The
second mule was an arrogant animal, who wore a fine coat
with jingling bells. He carried gold and silver coins for the tax
collector, and loved to brag about his responsibility and

importance. Running late one day, the second mule
suggested taking a short-cut, off the main road, despite his
companion's warnings about the risks of taking such a
dangerous route. Sure enough, before too long, thieves
attacked the second mule, stealing his valuable load, and
leaving him injured by the roadside.
"But why me?" moaned the stricken animal, "I am attacked
and robbed while the vagabonds leave you untouched?"
"I think even in this desperate place no thief would be
interested in a poor miller's slave, or my humble load!" said
the first mule, "But you ventured down this dangerous track
and made a show of yourself - you have only yourself to
blame."
the travellers and the monk story (attitude and

outlook)
One day a traveller was walking along a road on his journey
from one village to another. As he walked he noticed a monk
tending the ground in the fields beside the road. The monk
said "Good day" to the traveller, and the traveller nodded to
the monk. The traveller then turned to the monk and said
"Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you a question?".
"Not at all," replied the monk.
"I am travelling from the village in the mountains to the
village in the valley and I was wondering if you knew what it
is like in the village in the valley?"
"Tell me," said the monk "What was your experience of the
village in the mountains?"
"Dreadful," replied the traveller, "to be honest I am glad to
be away from there. I found the people most unwelcoming.
When I first arrived I was greeted coldly. I was never made to
feel part of the village no matter how hard I tried. The
villagers keep very much to themselves, they don't take

kindly to strangers. So tell me, what can I expect in the
village in the valley?"
"I am sorry to tell you," said the monk "but I think your
experience will be much the same there".
The traveller hung his head despondently and walked on.
A few months later another traveller was journeying down
the same road and he also came upon the monk.
"Good day," said the traveller.
"Good day" said the monk.
"How are you?" asked the traveller.
"I'm well," replied the monk, "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to the village in the valley" replied the traveller
"Do you know what it is like?"
"I do," replied the monk "But first tell me - where have you
come from?"
"I've come from the village in the mountains."
"And how was that?"
"It was a wonderful experience. I would have stayed if I could
but I am committed to travelling on. I felt as though I was a
member of the family in the village. The elders gave me
much advice, the children laughed and joked with me and
people were generally kind and generous. I am sad to have
left there. It will always hold special memories for me. And
what of the village in the valley?" he asked again.
"I think you will find it much the same" replied the monk,
"Good day to you".
"Good day and thank you" the traveller replied, smiled and
journeyed on.
(Thanks Carrie Birmingham)

the person who had feelings story (transactional
analysis, conditioning and behaviour) by barbara
dunlap
Once there was a very small person who had feelings. They
had many feelings and felt them every day. Their family liked
them when they showed their feelings, so the very small
person started to wear their feelings on their sleeve. One
day one of the small person's parents said that they didn't
like to see the FEAR feeling any more, so the small person
tried to pull it off. The parent said that they would give the
small person some TOUGH to cover over their FEAR. The
small person found it very difficult to cover the FEAR with the
TOUGH, so the other parent and the grandparents all helped.
It took many days. "Now you look wonderful," said the
parents when it was done. "We've covered some of your
feelings with TOUGH, and you'll grow into a strong person."
The small person grew a little older and found a friend. The
friend also wore their feelings on their sleeve. The friend said
one day, "My parents want me to cover up my LONELY
feelings, and to be different from now on." And they were.
The small person decided to cover over their LONELY feelings
too, and they got ANGRY from another adult. The small
person put big patches of ANGRY on top of their LONELY. It
was hard work to cover over the LONELY feelings.
One day when the small person (who was now not so small)
went to school some of their LONELY feelings started to
show. So the teacher kept them behind an gave them some
GUILT to cover their LONELY feelings. Sometimes when alone
at night the person would look at their feelings. The would
pull off the TOUGH and ANGRY and GUILT to look at their
LONELY and FEAR. Then they would have to take a long time
putting the TOUGH, ANGRY and GUILT back again.
One night the person noticed that their LONELY and FEAR
were growing, and beginning to stick out from under the
patches. So the person had to go out to find some more
ANGRY to cover the LONELY, and got all the TOUGH that their
parents could spare to cover their FEAR.

The person grew older and became very popular because
everyone said that they could hide their feelings well. The
person's parents said one day that they had a PROUD feeling
because the person had been so TOUGH. But the person
could not find anywhere to put the PROUD feeling because
the TOUGH was getting so big. The person had trouble
finding room on their sleeve for any other feelings - the
TOUGH and the ANGRY were all that showed.
Then after a time the person met another person and they
became friends. They thought that they were a lot alike
because they both had only TOUGH and ANGRY feelings that
showed. One day the friend told the person a secret: "I'm not
really like you - my TOUGH and ANGRY are only patches to
cover over my LONELY and my FEAR." The friend pulled back
the edge of their TOUGH and showed the person their FEAR;
just for a second.
The person sat quietly and did not speak. Then carefully they
too pulled back the edge of their TOUGH and showed their
FEAR. The friend saw the LONELY underneath. Then the
friend gently reached out and touched the person's FEAR,
and then the LONELY....... The friend's touch was like magic. A
feeling of ACCEPTANCE appeared on the person's sleeve, and
the TOUGH and ANGRY had become smaller. The person then
knew that whenever someone gave them ACCEPTANCE, they
would need less TOUGH, and then there would be more room
to show PROUD..... SAD ....... LOVING.... STRONG.... GOOD....
WARM... HURT... FEAR....
(Ack. Chris Davidson and Protective Behaviour "This
wonderful story was found by chance. We acknowledge
whoever was inspired to write it and apologise for not being
able to give them credit by name...")
Written by Barbara Dunlap (thanks Kati Collinson).
See also the wonderful and cynical 'this be the verse' by
Philip Larkin on the subject of parental conditioning.
human resources tale

A highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically
knocked down by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived at the
Pearly Gates, where St. Peter welcomed her:
"Before you get settled in," he said, "We have a little
problem... you see, we've never had a Human Resources
Manager make it this far before and we're not really sure
what to do with you."
"Oh, I see," said the woman. "Can't you just let me in?"
"Well, I'd like to," said St Peter, "But I have higher orders.
We're instructed to let you have a day in hell and a day in
heaven, and then you are to choose where you'd like to go
for all eternity."
"Actually, I think I'd prefer heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." at which St. Peter put the HR
Manager into the downward bound elevator.
As the doors opened in hell she stepped out onto a beautiful
golf course. In the distance was a country club; around her
were many friends - past fellow executives, all smartly
dressed, happy, and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed
her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They
played a perfect round of golf and afterwards went to the
country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster
dinner. She met the Devil, who was actually rather nice, and
she had a wonderful night telling jokes and dancing. Before
she knew it, it was time to leave; everyone shook her hand
and waved goodbye as she stepped into the elevator. The
elevator went back up to heaven where St. Peter was waiting
for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds
and playing the harp and singing, which was almost as
enjoyable as her day in hell. At the day's end St Peter
returned.

"So," he said, "You've spent a day in hell and you've spent a
day in heaven. You must choose between the two."
The woman thought for a second and replied, "Well, heaven
is certainly lovely, but I actually had a better time in hell. I
choose hell."
Accordingly, St. Peter took her to the elevator again and she
went back down to hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself
standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and
filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish
and putting it in old sacks. The Devil approached and put his
arm around her.
"I don't understand," stuttered the HR Manager, "Yesterday I
was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club,
and we ate lobster, and we danced and had a wonderful
happy time. Now all there's just a dirty wasteland of garbage
and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were
recruiting you, today you're staff."
(Thanks CB and CC)
the shoe box story - on delusion...

There was once a man and woman who had been married for
more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had
talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each
other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the
top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never
to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never
thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got
very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying
to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe
box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was
time that he should know what was in the box. When he
opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of

money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother
told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue.
She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just
keep quiet and crochet a doily." The little old man was so
moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies
were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times
in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with
happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but
what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"
"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the
doilies." (Thanks C Byrd)
the businessman and the fisherman (change for

change's sake, and the purpose of life - also now
featured on a 'Kit-Kat' snack-bar TV advert)
A management consultant, on holiday in a African fishing
village, watched a little fishing boat dock at the quayside.
Noting the quality of the fish, the consultant asked the
fisherman how long it had taken to catch them.
"Not very long." answered the fisherman.
"Then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
asked the consultant.
The fisherman explained that his small catch was sufficient
to meet his needs and those of his family.
The consultant asked, "But what do you do with the rest of
your time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, have an
afternoon's rest under a coconut tree. In the evenings, I go
into the community hall to see my friends, have a few beers,
play the drums, and sing a few songs..... I have a full and
happy life." replied the fisherman.
The consultant ventured, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I
can help you...... You should start by fishing longer every day.

You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra
revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money
the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a
third one and so on until you have a large fleet. Instead of
selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly
with the processing plants and maybe even open your own
plant. You can then leave this little village and move to a city
here or maybe even in the United Kingdom, from where you
can direct your huge enterprise."
"How long would that take?" asked the fisherman.
"Oh, ten, maybe twenty years." replied the consultant.
"And after that?" asked the fisherman.
"After that? That's when it gets really interesting," answered
the consultant, laughing, "When your business gets really
big, you can start selling shares in your company and make
millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?" pressed the fisherman.
"After that you'll be able to retire, move out to a small village
by the sea, sleep in late every day, spend time with your
family, go fishing, take afternoon naps under a coconut tree,
and spend relaxing evenings havings drinks with friends..."
(Ack Jean Kent)
microsoft tale
A different slant on the human resources tale above...
In 2050 A.D. Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds
himself in the Purgatory waiting room, when God enters...
"Well, Bill," says God, "I'm confused. I'm not sure whether to
send you to Heaven or Hell: you helped society enormously
by putting a computer in almost every home in the world,
and yet you've also created some of the most unearthly
frustrations known to mankind. I'm going to do something

I've never done before: I'm going to let you choose where
you want to go."
Bill replies, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference
between the two?"
God says, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly to
help you make your decision."
"Okay, where should I go first?" asks Bill.
God says, "That's up to you."
Bill says, "OK, let's try Hell first."
So Bill goes to Hell. It's a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with
clear waters. There are thousands of beautiful women
running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking
about. The sun is shining, the temperature is just right. The
whole thing looks perfect, and Bill is very pleased.
"This is great!" he tells God, "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to
see Heaven!"
"Fine," says God, and off they go.
Heaven is a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting
about playing harps and singing. It very nice but not as
enticing as Hell. Bill thinks for a moment and announces his
decision.
"Hmm, I think I prefer Hell." he tells God.
"Fine," says God, "As you desire."
So Bill Gates is taken to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decides to check up on Bill to see how
he's doing in Hell. When God arrives in Hell, he finds Bill
shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a
dark cave. He's being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going, Bill?" God asks.

Bill replies, his voice full of anguish and disappointment,
"This is awful, it's not what I expected at all, I can't believe it.
What happened to that other place with the beaches and the
beautiful women playing in the water?"
God smiles and says, "That was the screen saver."
(Ack CB and JM)
it will for that one

A small boy was walking along a beach at low tide, where
countless thousands of small sea creatures, having been
washed up, were stranded and doomed to perish. A man
watched as the boy picked up individual creatures and took
them back into the water.
"I can see you're being very kind," said the watching man,
"But there must be a million of them; it can't possibly make
any difference."
Returning from the water's edge, the boy said, "It will for that
one."
a negotiation story
A sales-woman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona
when she sees a Navajo woman hitch-hiking. Being a kindly
soul, the sales-woman stops the car and invites the Navajo
woman to climb in. During their small talk, the Navajo
woman glances surreptitiously at a brown paper bag on the
front seat between them. "If you are wondering what's in the
bag," offers the sales-woman, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it
for my husband." The Navajo woman is silent for a while,
nods several times, and says ........
"Good trade."
(ack. C Byrd)

david mcclelland's achievement motivation
experiment
A pioneering thinker in the field of workplace motivation,
David McClelland developed his theories chiefly while at
Harvard in the 1950-60's with experiments such as this:
Volunteers were asked to throw rings over pegs rather like
the fairground game; no distance was stipulated, and most
people seemed to throw from arbitrary, random distances,
sometimes close, sometimes farther away. However a small
group of volunteers, whom McClelland suggested were
strongly achievement-motivated, took some care to measure
and test distances that would produce an ideal challenge -
not too easy, and not impossible. Interestingly a parallel
exists in biology, known as the 'overload principle', which is
commony applied to fitness and exercising, ie., in order to
develop fitness and/or strength the exercise must be
sufficiently demanding to increase existing levels, but not so
demanding as to cause damage or strain. McClelland
identified the same need for a 'balanced challenge' in the
approach of achievement-motivated people. People with a
strong achievement-motivation need set themselves
challenging and realistic goals - they need the challenge, but
they also need to be sure they'll accomplish the aim.
More information about David McClelland's motivational
theories.
the butterfly
A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small
opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for
several hours as it struggled to force its body through the
little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It
appeared stuck.
The man decided to help the butterfly and with a pair of
scissors he cut open the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged
easily. Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen
body and shrivelled wings. The man watched the butterfly

expecting it to take on its correct proportions. But nothing
changed.
The butterfly stayed the same. It was never able to fly. In his
kindness and haste the man did not realise that the
butterfly's struggle to get through the small opening of the
cocoon is natures way of forcing fluid from the body of the
butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight.
Like the sapling which grows strong from being buffeted by
the wind, in life we all need to struggle sometimes to make
us strong.
(Ack. Paul Matthews)
judging people can be difficult

Fred and Mabel were both patients in a mental hospital. One
day as they both walked beside the swimming pool, Mabel
jumped into the deep end and sank to the bottom. Without a
thought for his own safety, Fred jumped in after her, brought
her to the surface, hauled her out, gave her the kiss of life
and saved her.
The next day happened to be Fred's annual review. He was
brought before the hospital board, where the director told
him, " Fred, I have some good news and some bad news: the
good news is that in light of your heroic act yesterday we
consider that you are sane and can be released from this
home back into society. The bad news is, I'm afraid, that
Mabel, the patient you saved, shortly afterwards hung
herself in the bathroom with the belt from her bathrobe. I'm
sorry but she's dead"
"She didn't hang herself," Fred replied, "I put her there to
dry."
butcher story - on business ethics - chickens come

home to roost...

A butcher, who had had a particularly good day, proudly
flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will
be 6.35," he told the customer.
"That's a good price, but it really is a little too small," said
the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?"
Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken
to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again.
"This one," he said faintly, " will be 6.65."
The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision...
"I know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!"
(Thanks Doug Boit)
pavlov's dogs
Ivan Pavlov was a Russian physiologist who lived from 1849-
1936. He founded the Institute of Experimental Medicine in
1890, where his primary interest was digestion.
Pavlov's Dogs is the name given to Ivan Pavlov's seminal
research in the early 20th century which established some
essential principles of Classical Conditioning in the field of
human psychology. Classical Conditioning concerns 'learned'
or conditioned behaviour, (which also forms the basis of
behaviour therapy).
We all have behaviours that we might seek to change. The
Pavlov's Dogs illustration helps us to understand more about
why we respond sometimes irrationally to certain situations.
Pavlov's Dogs provides a wonderful and true example for
anyone seeking to explain or understand how our past
experiences can prompt certain behaviours in the future, for
example, phobias (irrational fears), neurosis (severe nervous
or emotional responses to particular situations), and even
mild feelings of concern or anxiety that virtually all of us are
prone to in one way or another (eg., public speaking, fear of
heights, flying, being reprimanded or tested, etc.)

The initial Pavlov's Dogs experiment was simply to place a
dog in a sound-proof, smell-proof cubicle, with no outside
view - a controlled environment in other words. A sound was
made when food was given to the dog, and the amount of
salivation the dog produced was measured. After repeating
this several times (called 'trials'), the sound was made but
no food was given. The dog still salivated.
This simple experiment established that the dog did not
necessarily need the food in order to respond to food. The
dog was responding to a stimulus or 'trigger' that produced
the same response as the real thing. Pavlov could make the
dog salivate whenever the sound was made.
This is expressed technically: a 'Conditioned Stimulus' (the
sound) can produce a 'Conditioned Response' (the
salivation), which was the same 'Unconditioned Response'
(salivation in response to food) for the original
'Unconditioned Stimulus' (the food).
Pavlov also proved that slightly different sounds to the
original Conditioned Stimulus produced a similar Conditioned
Response, which he called 'Generalisation'. Pavlov also
obtained the same results by showing the dog a shape (a
circle for food), and then established a level of
'Discrimination' by showing an oval when there was no food.
By continually repeating the Conditioned Stimulus, the
Conditioned response was seen to weaken, and then
eventually to cease, which he called 'Extinction'. Surprisingly
though, a after a day or two, when the Conditioned Stimulus
(sound) was started again the dog again produced the
Conditioned Response (salivation), which is called
'Spontaneous Recovery'. This showed that conditioned
behaviours can become very deeply embedded and well
established.
Classical Conditioning is responsible for all behaviour that
involves 'Reflexes' - heart-rate, perspiration, muscle-tension,
etc. Think about your own anxieties that produce these
reactions - they are Conditioned Responses from something

(a Conditioned Stimulus) that you experienced in the past.
Note also that if the original response is very strong, the
conditioning can result from a single event, technically
referred to as 'One Trial Learning'.
If you find this interesting see also transational analysis, and
read the book The Primal Scream by Dr Arthur Janov.
beans up the nose

This lovely analogy illustrates how accentuating the negative
can often produce the very result you are seeking to avoid.
The metaphor is so strong that it gave rise to the expression
'Beans up the Nose', meaning to increase the likelihood of
unwanted result by highlighting the potential for it to
happen. Beans up the Nose is a great way to emphasise the
need for managers to accentuate the positive - not the
negative - when communicating instructions to their people.
A mother was preparing a meal for her young son. She
emptied a tin of beans into a saucepan and put them on the
stove to cook. Just then the phone rang - she was expecting
a call and wanted to take it. Mindful that she'd be leaving her
little boy unsupervised for a minute or two, and wanting to
prevent him doing anything daft while she was out of the
room, she firmly told him, "Stay here while I answer the
phone. I'll be back soon; don't misbehave, and whatever you
do, don't go putting those beans up your nose......."
elton mayo - the hawthorne effect

The Hawthorne Effect: the proposition that workers are more
motivated more by emotional than economic factors (ie., by
being involved and feeling important, rather than by an
improvement in workplace conditions).
So called after workplace behavioural research by Elton
Mayo at the Western Electric Company's Hawthorne plant in
Cicero, Chicago, 1927-32, which ran on without Mayo until
1937. Mayo was a founding father of industrial psychology,

attached to Harvard University as professor of industrial
research from 1926, laying the foundations for later gurus,
notably Herzberg (Motivation and Hygiene Factors), Maslow
(Hierarchy of Needs), McGregor (XY Theory), Peters and
Waterman ('In Search of Excellence' etc).
At a peak, 20,000 Western Electric employees were subject
to research by a team of Harvard scientists and up to 100
investigators. This massive ten year programme grew from
the initial experiment in which improved lighting was
installed to assess the effect on workers' motivation and
productivity. Sure enough, productivity increased, but
productivity also increased in the 'control group' of workers
where conditions were unchanged, except that they were
informed they were part of the study. This was perhaps the
earliest significant demonstration that people are not
actually motivated by improving their workplace conditions
('Taylorism' - after FW Taylor - had been the common view, in
which money and conditions were thought to be the prime
motivators). The Hawthorne Effect, and the experiments at
the Hawthorne plant, proved that people are mainly
motivated not by economic factors, but emotional factors,
such as feeling involved and receiving attention.
US navy stand-off story - how not to negotiate

This is the alleged transcript of an actual radio conversation
between a US naval ship and Canadian maritime contact of
the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees North to
avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees
South to avoid collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US navy ship; I say again
divert your course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN,
THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES'
ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE
DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT
VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15
DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR
COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE
SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: We are a lighthouse; your call.

the room service story - understanding is the key to
communicating...
This is alleged to be the genuine transcript a telephone
conversation between a guest and room-service in a hotel in
Asia in the late 1990's. It was supposedly published in the
Far East Economic Review.
Room-service: Morny, ruin sorbees.
Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.
Room-service: Rye... ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to order
sunteen?
Guest: Oh, yes... I'd like some bacon and eggs.
Room-service: Ow july den?
Guest: What?
Room-service: Ow july den? Pry, boy pooch?
Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled
please.
Room-service: Ow july de baychem... crease?
Guest: Crispy will be fine.
Room-service: Hokay. An san toes?
Guest: What?
Room-service: San tos. July san toes?
Guest: I don't think so.
Room-service: No? Judo one toes?
Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
'Judo one tos' means.
Room-service: Toes! Toes! Why djew don juan toes? Ow bow
singlish mopping we bother?

Guest: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'.
Fine, yes, an English muffin will be fine.
Room-service: We bother?
Guest: No... just put the bother on the side.
Room-service: Wad?
Guest: I mean butter... just put the butter on the side.
Room-service: Copy?
Guest: Sorry?
Room-service: Copy, tee, meal?
Guest: Yes, coffee please and that's all.
Room-service: Wun minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle
ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother
honey sigh, and copy... rye?
Guest: Whatever you say.
Room-service: Tendjewberrymud.
Guest: You're welcome.
(Ack. DC)
the six phases of a project

1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Praise and honours for the non-participants

the MSWindows car and the power of PR
You may have seen this before as it's been widely circulated
over the internet. Whether it's true or not, it's a great
example of the risks of arrogant PR, and then in response,
fantastic PR that's utterly in tune with the mood of the
moment. Despite all this though, a supremely powerful
supplier can, while they remain supremely powerful, re-write
the rules of customer service.
At a computer expo (COMDEX) around 1997/98, Bill Gates of
Microsoft was reported to have compared the computer and
automotive industries, saying that "If General Motors had
kept up with technology like the computer industry does, we
would all be driving around in twenty-five dollar cars that go
1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to this alleged outburst, GM are supposed to
have issued a press release along the following lines, stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics -
1. For no reason at all your car would crash twice a day,
and you would have not a single clue as to the cause.
2. Every time they re-painted the lines on the road you
would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you would just accept this, re-start and
drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to re-
start, in which case you would have to re-install the
engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT', but then you'd have to buy
more seats.

6. (Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to
drive, but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would have to buy expensive
GM upgrades for their cars which would make them run
much slower.)
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning
lights would be replaced by a 'general car default'
warning light.
8. The car's new seats would force everyone to have the
same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before
activating.
10.Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key,
and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11.GM would require all car buyers to additionally
purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps
(which would be a GM subsidiary) even though the
customer neither needed nor wanted them. Attempting
to do without these extras would immediately cause the
car's performance to diminish by fifty percent or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation
under the anti-trust laws by the Justice Department.
12.Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers
would have to learn to drive all over again because
none of the controls would operate in the same manner
as in the previous car.
13.And you'd need to press the 'Start' button to shut off
the engine.
the balloon story

A man in a hot air balloon is lost. He sees a man on the
ground and reduces height to speak to him.
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
"You're in a hot air balloon hovering thirty feet above this
field," comes the reply.
"You must work in Information Technology," says the
balloonist.
"I do," says the man, "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you told me is
technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
"You must be in business," says the man.
"I am," says the balloonist, "How did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, you
don't know where you're going, but you expect me to be able
to help. You're in the same position you were before we met,
but now it's my fault."
monkey story on company policy

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of
stairs under it.
Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb
towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys
with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the
same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.
Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs,
the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new
one.
The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the
stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack
him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to
climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and
replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.
The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with
enthusiasm.
Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one.
The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well.
Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why
they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are
participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the
monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been
replaced.
Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.
Why not?
Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been
around here.
And that's how company policy begins ...
ten ways to murder creativity

1. Always pretend to know more than everybody around
you.
2. Get employees to fill in time sheets.
3. Run daily checks on progress of everyone's work.
4. Ensure that highly qualified people do mundane work
for long periods.
5. Put barriers up between departments.
6. Don't speak personally to employees, except when
announcing increased targets, shortened deadlines and
tightened cost restraints.
7. Ask for a 200-page document to justify every new idea.
8. Call lots of meetings.
9. Place the biggest emphasis on the budget.
10.Buy lots of computers.
the story of the scorpion and the frog

Once upon a time a scorpion wanted to cross a brook. On the
bank he saw a frog and asked if the frog would give him a
ride to the other side.
"Oh no," says the frog, "If I carry you on my back you will
sting me."
"But why would I sting you when we would both surely
perish," replied the scorpion.
The frog eventually conceded that the scorpion had a point,
and agreed to the request.
Half way across, the scorpion stang the frog, and they both
began to drown.
"But why did you break your word and sting me, knowing it
would be certain death for us both?" cried the frog.

"Because it is in my nature." said the scorpion.
the rocks in bucket time management story

Use this time management story to show how planning is the
key to time management.
Start with a bucket, some big rocks enough to fill it, some
small stones, some sand and water.
Put the big rocks in the bucket - is it full?
Put the small stones in around the big rocks - is it full?
Put the sand in and give it a shake - is it full?
Put the water in. Now it's full.
The point is: unless you put the big rocks in first, you won't
get them in at all.
In other words: Plan time-slots for your big issues before
anything else, or the inevitable sand and water issues will fill
up your days and you won't fit the big issues in (a big issue
doesn't necessarily have to be a work task - it could be your
child's sports-day, or a holiday).
rocks in the bucket story - alternative funny version

A lecturer at a university is giving a pre-exam lecture on time
management. On his desk is a bag of sand, a bag of pebbles,
some big rocks and bucket. He asks for a volunteer to put all
three grades of stone into the bucket, and a keen student
duly steps up to carry out the task, starting with the sand,
then the pebbles, then the rocks, which do not all fit in the
bucket.
"The is an analogy of poor time management," trills the
lecturer, "If you'd have put the rocks in first, then the
pebbles, then the sand, all three would have fit. This is much
like time management, in that by completing your biggest
tasks first, you leave room to complete your medium tasks,

then your smaller ones. By completing your smallest tasks
first you spend so much time on them you leave yourself
unable to complete either medium of large tasks
satisfactorily. Let me show you.."
And the lecturer re-fills the bucket, big rocks first, then
pebbles, then sand, shaking the bucket between each so
that everything fits.
"But Sir," says one student, slouched at the back of the
theatre "you've forgotten one thing.."
At which the student approaches the bucket, produces a can
of lager, opens it and pours into the bucket. "No matter how
busy you are," quips the student with a smile, "there's
always time for a quick beer." (Ack Simon Dedman)
murphy's plough positive thinking story

Use this story to illustrate the risks of failing to use positive
thinking.
McGinty, a farmer, needed to plough his field before the dry
spell set in, but his own plough had broken.
"I know, I'll ask my neighbour, farmer Murphy, to borrow his
plough. He's a good man; I'm sure he'll have done his
ploughing by now and he'll be glad to lend me his machine."
So McGinty began to walk the three or four fields to Murphy's
farm.
After a field of walking, McGinty says to himself, "I hope that
Murphy has finished all his own ploughing or he'll not be able
to lend me his machine..."
Then after a few more minutes of worrying and walking,
McGinty says to himself, "And what if Murphy's plough is old
and on it's last legs - he'll never be wanting to lend it to me
will he?.."
And after another field, McGinty says, "Murphy was never a
very helpful fellow, I reckon maybe he won't be too keen to

lend me his plough even if it's in perfect working order and
he's finished all his own ploughing weeks ago...."
As McGinty arrives at Murphy's farm, McGinty is thinking,
"That old Murphy can be a mean old fellow. I reckon even if
he's got all his ploughing done, and his own machine is
sitting there doing nothing, he'll not lend it to me just so
watch me go to ruin..."
McGinty walks up Murphy's front path, knocks on the door,
and Murphy answers.
"Well good morning Mr McGinty, what can I do for you?" says
Murphy.
And McGinty says, with eyes bulging, "You can take your
bloody plough, and you can stick it up your bloody arse!"

cliches and expressions origins
origins and meanings of cliches, expressions and
words
Cliches and expressions give us many wonderful figures of
speech and words in the English language, as they evolve
via use and mis-use alike. Many cliches and expressions -
and words - have fascinating and surprising origins, and
many popular assumptions about meanings and derivations
are mistaken. These cliches, words and expressions origins
and derivations illustrate the ever-changing complexity of
language and communications, and are ideal free materials
for word puzzles or quizzes, and team-building games.
Cliches and expressions are listed alphabetically according to
their key word, for example, 'save your bacon' is listed under
'b' for bacon. Some expressions with two key words are
listed under each word.
There are a few origins also in the derivations quiz at the end
of the section.
These derivations have been researched from a variety of
sources, which are referenced at the end of this section.
The reference sources listed below contain thousands more
cliches, expressions, origins and meanings.
If you have queries, suggestions or need help researching
difficult words, cliches, expressions origins or derivations,
please contact us.
words and expressions origins

acid test - and absolute test - nitric acid was used to
determined the purity of gold when it was used as currency
in the days before coinage.
above board - honest - a metaphor based on a conjuror
preparing a trick with hands above the 'board' (table), rather
than below it, where the trickery could be concealed.

across the board - all - racetrack bookmakers in the USA
showed the odds on boards of horses finishing places; an
across-the-board bet was one which backed a horse to win or
be placed in the first three.
alligator - the reptile - from the Spanish, who first named it
in the USA, 'el lagarto', meaning 'the lizard'.
all-singing all-dancing - full of features/gimmicks - the
term was first used in advertising for the 1929 musical film,
the first with sound, Broadway Melody.
smart alec/smart aleck/smart alick - someone who is
very or 'too' clever (esp. in a cocky manner) According to
etymologist David Wilton the most likely origin was
suggested by Gerald Cohen in a 1985 article which appeared
in the publication Studies In Slang. Cohen suggests the
origin dates back to 1840's New York City fraudster Aleck
Hoag, who, with his wife posing as a prostitute, would rob
the customers. Hoag bribed the police to escape
prosecution, but ultimately paid the price for being too
clever when he tried to cut the police out of the deal, leading
to the pair's arrest. In describing Hoag at the time, the police
were supposedly the first to use the 'smart aleck' expression.
amateur - non-professional or un-paid, or more recently an
insulting term meaning unprofessional - the word originates
from the same spelling in Old French 'amateur' meaning
'lover', originally meaning in English a lover of an activity.
The Old French word is derived from Latin 'amare' meaning
'to love'.
ampersand - the name of the '&' symbol, meaning 'and' -
when originally shown after the alphabet in reference books,
the & was described as: 'and per se, and' meaning 'and by
itself, and'.
alma mater - (my) university - from the Latin, meaning
'fostering mother'.
almanac - diary - either or both from the Arabic 'al manac'
meaning 'the diary' and/or from Saxon term 'al-mon-aght'

meaning 'all moon heed', which was the record of new and
full moons.
apple-pie bed - practical joke, with bed-sheets folded
preventing the person from getting in - generally assumed to
be derived from the apple-turnover pastry, but more likely
from the French 'nappe pliee', meaning 'folded sheet'.
assassin - killer - the original Assassins were Carmathian
warriers based in Mount Lebanon around the eleventh
century; they terrorised the middle eastern world for two
hundred years, supposedly high on hashish most of the time,
particularly prior to battle.
throw the baby out with the bath water - lose a good
opportunity as part of a bigger clear-out - the metaphor was
apparently strengthened by allusion to the practice several
centuries ago when hot running water was not available, and
whole families bathed one after the other in a single tub in
front of the fire. Traditionally the man of the house bathed
first followed by his wife, the children, and finally the baby,
by which time the water was so dirty that an immersed
infant could not be seen.
take a back seat - have little or only observational
involvement in something - not a car metaphor, this was
originally a parliamentary expression derived from the
relative low influence of persons and issues from the back
benches (the bench-seats where members sit in the House of
Commons), as opposed to the front benches, where the
leaders of the government and opposition sit.
backs to the wall - defend fiercely against a powerful
threat - achieved cliche status following inclusion in an order
from General Haig in 1918 urging British troops to fight until
the end against German forces.
baker's dozen - thirteen - in times when bakers incurred a
heavy fine for giving short weight they used to add an extra
loaf to avoid the risk.

save your bacon - to save from injury or loss (material,
reputation, etc) - Brewer refers to this expression in his 1870
dictionary so it was certainly established by then, and other
etymologists suggest it has been around at least since the
17th century. Brewer says one origin is the metaphor of
keeping the household's winter store of bacon protected
from huge numbers of stray scavenging dogs. In that sense
the meaning was to save or prevent a loss. The
establishment of the expression however relies on wider
identification with the human form... Bacon and pig-related
terms were metaphors for 'people' in several old expressions
of from 11th to 19th century, largely due to the fact that In
the mid-to-late middle ages, bacon was for common country
people the only meat affordably available, which caused it
and associated terms (hog, pig, swine) to be used to
describe ordinary country folk by certain writers and
members of the aristocracy. Norman lords called Saxon
people 'hogs'. A 'chaw-bacon' was a derogatory term for a
farm labourer or country bumpkin (chaw meant chew, so a
'chaw-bacon' was the old equivalent of the modern insult
'carrot-cruncher'). 'Baste your bacon', meant to strike or
scourge someone, (bacon being from the the outside of a
side of pork would naturally be imagined to be the outer-
body part of a pig - or person - to receive a blow). See also
'bring home the bacon'.
balderdash - nonsense - nowadays balderdash means
nonsense, but it meant ribaldry or jargon at the time of
Brewer's 1870 dictionary. A still earlier meaning of the word
was more precisely 'a jumbled mixture of words', and before
that from Scandinavia 'a mixture'. Skeat's 1882 dictionary
provides the most useful clues as to origins: Scandinavian
meanings were for 'poor stuff' or a 'poor weak drink', which
was obviously a mixture of sorts. In Danish 'balder' was noise
or clatter, and the word danske was slap or flap, which led to
an older alternative meaning of a 'confused noise', or any
mixture. Certain dictionaries suggest an initial origin of a
frothy drink from the English 16thC, but this usage was
derived from the earlier 'poor drink' and 'mixture' meanings

and therefore was not the root, just a stage in the
expression's development.
bring home the bacon - bring back the prize or to earn a
living - the expression stems from the fact that bacon was
the valuable and staple meat provision of common people
hundreds of years ago, and so represented spending power
or achievement. This expression was also underpinned by
the 13th century custom at Dunmow in Essex, apparently
founded by a noblewoman called Juga in 1111 and restarted
in 1244 by Robert de Fitzwalter (according to Brewer),
whereby any man from anywhere in England who could
kneel at the church door and swear that for the past year
he'd not argued with his wife nor wished to be parted from
her, would be awarded a 'gammon of bacon'.
barbarian - rough or wild person - an early Greek and
Roman term for a foreigner, meaning that they 'babbled' in a
strange language.
bated breath/baited breath - anxious, expectant
(expecting explanation, answer, etc) - the former spelling
was the original version of the expression, but the term is
now often mistakenly corrupted to the latter 'baited' in
modern use, which wrongly suggests a different origin. Many
people seem now to infer a meaning of the breath being
metaphorically 'baited' (like a trap or a hook, waiting to
catch something) instead of the original non-metaphorical
original meaning, which simply described the breath being
cut short, or stopped (as with a sharp intake of breath). The
expression appears in Shakespeare's The Merchant Of Venice
(as bated), which dates its origin as 16th century or earlier.
The word bate is a shortened form of abate, both carrying
the same meaning (to hold back, reduce, stop, etc), and first
appeared in the 1300's, prior to which the past tense forms
were baten and abaten. (Ack J Vaughan)
battle of the bulge - diet/lose weight - the original Battle of
the Bulge occurred in 1944 when German forces broke
through Allied lines into Belgium, forming a 'bulge' in the
defending lines.

battle lines - forces or position organised prior to
confrontation or negotiation - from centuries ago when
troops were organised in three lines of battle: the van, the
main body and the rear.
berserk - wild - from Berserker, a Norse warrier, who went
into battle 'baer-serk', which meant 'bare of mail' (chain mail
armour).
get out of the wrong side of the bed - be in a bad mood
- 1870 Brewer says the origin is from ancient superstition
which held it to be unlucky to touch the floor first with the
left foot when getting out of bed. Earlier versions of the
expression with the same meaning were: 'You got out of bed
the wrong way', and 'You got out of bed with the left leg
foremost' (which perhaps explains why today's version,
which trips off the tongue rather more easily, developed).
bedlam - chaos - after the London mental institution
founded originally as a religious house by Simon Fitzmary in
1247, and converted into the 'Bethlehem Hospital' for
lunatics by Henry VIII. The hospital still exists as 'Bethlem
Hospital' in Croydon, South London.
in the biblical sense - humorous pointer towards sexual
interpretation of a word or phrase, or simply to indicate the
original biblical meaning is intended - the reason why the
term has become so popular in recent times is almost
certainly because of its common and now humorous use
alongside the expression 'to know' a person, as a
euphemisism for sexual intimacy, found in the bible and the
Hebrew language (and still in the legal term 'carnal
knowledge'). Related no doubt to this, the 1940's expression
'biblical neckline' was a euphemistic sexual slang term for a
low neckline (a pun on the 'lo and behold' expression found
in the bible). When used in a literal way the expression 'in
the/a biblical sense' simply explains that a particular word or
term is meant in the way it was used in the bible, instead of
the modern meaning, eg; words like oath, swear, deliver,
spirit, truth, way, divine, light, father, etc.

big cheese - important person - probably from colonial India
where Urdu 'chiz', meaning 'thing' was adopted by the British
to mean something good.
big stick - display of power - Theodore Roosevelt wrote in
1900 that he liked the West African expression 'speak softly
and carry a big stick; you will go far'. Kipling reinforced the
expression when he wrote in 1917 that the secret of power
'...is not the big stick. It's the liftable stick.'
bins - spectacles, or the eyes - a simple shortening of the
word binoculars, first appeared in English c.1930, possibly
from the armed forces or London, for which this sort of short-
form slang would have been typical.
bite the bullet - do or decide to do something very difficult
- before the development of anaesthetics, wounded soldiers
would be given a bullet to bite while being operated on, so
as not to scream with pain.
to the bitter end - to do or experience something awful up
to and at the last, experiencing hostility until and at the end
- this is a fascinating expression and nothing to do with our
normal assocation of the word 'bitter' with sourness or
unpleasantness: 'the bitter end' is another maritime
expression, from the metaphor of a rope being payed out
until to the 'bitts', which were the posts on the deck of a ship
to which ropes were secured. When the rope had been
extended to the bitter end there was no more left.
bird - woman or girlfriend - now unfortunately a rather
unflattering term, but it wasn't always so; until recent times
'bird' was always an endearing term for a girl, derived from
the Anglo-Saxon 'brid' which meant 'baby animal', in other
words a cute little thing. The origin also gave us the word
'bride'.
for the birds (also strictly for the birds) - useless,
unreliable facts, unacceptable or trivial, implying that
something is only for weaker, unintelligent or lesser people -
American origin according to Kirkpatrick and Schwarz
Dictionary of Idioms. Decharne's Dictionary of Hipster Slang

actually references a quote from the Hank Janson novel
Chicago Chick 1962 - " 'It's crazy man,' I told him, 'Real
crazy. Strictly for the birds.' " - but doesn't state whether this
was the original usage. Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and
Fable (1870) certainly makes no mention of it which suggests
it is no earlier than 20th century. The term alludes the small
brains of birds, and expressions such as 'bird-brain', as a
metaphor for people of limited intelligence.
blackball - to exclude or shun - see 'pipped at the post'.
bless you - customary expression said to someone after
sneezing - while there are variations around the theme, the
main origin is that sneezing was believed in medieval times
to be associated with vulnerability to evil, notably that
sneezing expelled a person's soul, thus enabling an evil spirit
- or specifically the devil - to steal the soul or to enter the
body and take possession of it. Another contributory factor
was the association of sneezing with the Black Death
(Bubonic Plague) which ravaged England and particularly
London in the 14th and 17th centuries.
blighty - england (esp when viewed by an Englishman
overseas) - from foreign service in colonial India, the Hindu
word 'bilayati' meant 'foreign' or 'European'.
blimey - mild expletive - from '(God) blind me!' (See also
'life of Riley' below).
blackmail - demand money with threat - 'mail' from Saxon
'mal' meaning 'rent', also from 'maille', an old French coin;
'black' is from the Gaelic, to cherish or protect; the term
'blackmail' was first used to describe an early form of
protection money, paid in the form of rent, to protect
property against plunder by vagabonds.
blarney - persuasive but empty words - from the verbal
procrastination tactics of Cormack MacCarthy, 1602, in
holding the castle of Blarney in Ireland , near Cork, despite
agreeing to hand it to the English as part of the surrender
terms.

blue peter - the children's TV show - the name of the flag
hoisted on a ship before it was about to sail, primarily to give
notice to the town that anyone owed money should claim it
before the ship leaves, also to warn crew and passengers to
get on board; the flag was blue with a white square in the
middle; 'peter' is from the French, 'partir' meaning 'to leave'.
kiss the blarney stone - have great persuasive ability - the
blarney stone, situated in the north corner of Blarney castle,
bears the inscription 'Cormac Mac Carthy fortis me fieri
fecit'; legend has it that whoever kisses the blarney stone
will enjoy the same ability as MacCarthy.
bloody - expletive adjective, as in 'bloody hell', or 'bloody
nuisance' - Brewer's 1870 dictionary of phrase and fable
explains that the use of the word 'bloody' in this sense
".....arose from associating folly or drunkenness, etc., with
what are (were) called 'Bloods', or aristocratic rowdies...."
Brewer explains also that this usage is in the same vein as
the expression 'drunk as a lord', (a lord being a titled
aristocrat in British society). Rowdy aristocrats were called
'Bloods' after the term for a thoroughbred horse, a 'blood-
horse' (as in today's 'bloodstock' term, meaning
thoroughbred horses). Clearly, the blood-horse metaphor
captures both the aristocratic and unpredictable or wild
elements of this meaning. The use of blood in this
'aristocratic' sense would have been reinforced by other
similar metaphors: 'blood' was and still is a term used also to
refer to family descent, and appears in many other lineage-
related expressions, such as 'blood is thicker than water'
(people are more loyal to their family members than to other
people) and 'blue blood' (royalty or aristocratic people - an
expression coming into England from France where 'sang
blue' means of high aristocratic descent, the notion
originating in Spain when it was believed that pre-Moorish
old Spanish families had blue blood whereas the common
people's blood was black. The blue blood imagery would
have been strengthened throughout Western society by the
idea of aristocratic people having paler skin, which therefore
made their veins and blood appear more blue than normal

people's.) The modern expression 'bloody' therefore derives
from an old expression of unpredictable or drunken
behaviour, dating back at least to the early 19th century.
It's conceivable, and I think likely, that since then people
have inferred a Christ/crucifixion connection, which would
have stigmatised the expression and added the taboo and
blasphemy factor. 'Bloody' was regarded as quite a serious
oath up until the 1980's, but now it's rare to find anyone
who'd be truly offended to hear it being used.
It has also been suggested (ack B Bunker) that 'bloody' is a
corruption of another oath, 'by our lady', which could have
contributed to the establishment of the expression.
board of directors - often reduced simply to 'the board' -
from Saxon, 'bord' meaning 'table'.
bobby - policeman - after Sir Robert Peel, who introduced
the first police force, into London c.1830; they were earlier
known as 'peelers'.
bolt from the blue - sudden shock or surprise - see
'thunderbolt'.
boss - manager - while there are myths suggesting origins
from a certain Mr Boss, the real derivation is from the Dutch
'baas', meaning master, which was adopted into the US
language from Dutch settlers in the 17th century. The word
also appeared early in South African English from Afrikaans -
more proof of Dutch origins.
the bottom line - the most important aspect or point - in
financial accounting the bottom line on the profit and loss
sheet shows the profit or loss.
boxing day - the day after Christmas - from the custom in
seventeenth and eighteenth centuries of servants receiving
gratuities from their masters, collected in boxes in Christmas
day, sometimes in churches, and distributed the day after.

brassic (mistaken pronunciation of boracic) - broke,
having no money - from 'boracic lint' see cockney rhyming
slang.
the buck stops here - denoting ultimate responsibility -
American poker players of the nineteenth century would
pass a piece of buckshot from player to player to signify
whose responsibility to deal.
bulls and bears, bull markets and bear markets (stock
exchange and financial markets terminology) -
generally: optimists and pessimists, or more specifically:
bulls (stock traders) and bull markets refer to upward price
trends and tactics; bears and bear markets refer to
downward price trends and tactics - some say that the
expressions relate to bull and bear fighting, a bloodsport in
parts of Europe in past times, and the image of bulls goring
with their horns in upward motion, whereas bears tend to
swipe in a downward motion. This metaphor may certainly
have helped to reinforce the expression, but is unlike to have
been the origin. More probable is the derivation suggested
by Brewer in 1870: that first, bears became synonymous
with reducing prices, notably the practice of short selling, ie.,
selling shares yet not owned, in the expectation that the
stock value would drop before settlement date, enabling the
'bear' speculator to profit from the difference. This
terminology, Brewer suggests (referring to Dr Warton's view
on the origin) came from the prior expression, 'selling the
skin before you have caught the bear'. This proverb was
applied to speculators in the South Sea Bubble scheme, c.
1720, (see 'gone south') and alludes to the risky 'forward
selling' practice of bear trappers. Brewer quotes an extract
written by Waller, from 'Battle Of The Summer Islands':
"....So was the huntsman by the bear oppressed, whose hide
he sold before he caught the beast..." At some stage after
the bear term was established, the bull, already having
various associations with the bear in folklore and imagery,
became the natural term to be paired with the bear to
denote the opposite trend or activity, ie buying stock in
expectation of a price rise. The bull and bear expressions

have been in use since at least as far back as 1785;
according to financial writer Don Luskin, reference and
explanation of bull and bear meanings appears in the book
Every Man His Own Broker, or, A Guide to Exchange Alley, by
Thomas Mortimer. (Luskin says his 10th edition copy of the
book was printed in 1785. Other references: David W. Olson,
Jon Orwant, Chris Lott, and 'The Wall Street Journal Guide to
Understanding Money and Markets' by Wurman, Siegel, and
Morris, 1990.)
bus - passenger vehicle - an abbreviation from the original
18-19th century horse-drawn 'omnibus' which in Latin means
'for all' (which is also the derivation of the term 'omnibus'
when used to describe a whole week's TV soap episodes put
together in one torturous weekend compilation). Unrelated
but interestingly, French slang for the horse-drawn omnibus
was 'four banal' which translated then to 'parish oven' - what
a wonderful expression.
by and large - generally/vaguely - one of a number of
sailing terms; 'by' meant to sail within six compass points of
the wind direction, 'large' was to sail at right-angles to the
wind, so to steer a course of 'by and large' was very non-
specific.
cachet - mark of prestige or stylish, fashionable quality -
from the French 1700's when 'lettres de cachet' (literally
'sealed letters') containing an open warrant, or carte-
blanche, could be obtained from the king for a fee. Such
warrants were used typically to enable a prisoner's freedom,
or to imprison someone in the Bastille. The holder could fill in
the beneficiary or victim's name. The practice was abolished
on 15 January 1790.
cake walk, piece of cake/takes the cake - easy task/wins
(the prize) - from the tradition of giving cakes as prizes in
rural competitions. Brewer (1870) tells of the tradition in USA
slavery states when slaves or free descendents would walk
in a procession in pairs around a cake at a social gathering
or party, the most graceful pair being awarded the cake as a
prize. This also gave us the expression 'cake walk' and 'a

piece of cake' both meaning a job or contest that's very easy
to achieve or win, and the variation 'takes the biscuit',
meaning to win (often ironically, to be the worst).
to call a spade a spade - to use simple language - the
expression is not an ethnic slur, which instead is derived
from 'black as the ace of spades', first appearing only in
1928. The expression 'to call a spade a spade' is much older,
dating back to at least 423BC, when it appeared in
Aristophanes' play The Clouds (he also wrote the play The
Birds, in 414BC, which provided the source of the 'Cloud
Cuckoo Land' expression). 'To call a spade a spade' can be
traced back to the original Greek expression 'ta syka syka,
te:n skaphe:n de skaphe:n onomasein' - 'to call a fig a fig, a
trough a trough' - which was a sexual allusion, in keeping
with the original Greek meaning which was 'to use crude
language'. At some stage between the 14th and 16th
centuries the Greek word for trough 'skaphe:' was mis-
translated within the expression into the Latin for spade -
'ligo' - (almost certainly because Greek for a 'digging tool'
was 'skapheion' - the words 'skaphe:' and 'skapheion' have
common roots, which is understandable since both are
hollowed-out concave shapes). This crucial error was
believed to have been committed by Desiderius Erasmus
(Dutch humanist, 1466-1536), when translating work by
Plutarch. The translation into the English 'spade' is believed
to have happened in 1542 by Nicolas Udall when he
translated Erasmus's Latin version of the expression. While
the origin of the expression is not racial or 'non-politically-
correct', the current usage, by association with the perceived
meaning of 'spade', most certainly is potentially racially
sensitive and potentially non-PC, just as other similarly non-
politically correct expressions have come to be so, eg 'nitty-
gritty', irrespective of their actual origins. (Developed from
Mark Israel's notes on this subject)
carnival - festival of merrymaking - apperaed in English first
around 1549, originating from the Italian religious term
'carnevale', and earlier 'carnelevale' old Pisan and Milanese,
meaning the last three days before Lent, when no meat

would be eaten, derived literally from the meaning 'lifting up
or off' (levare) and 'meat' or 'flesh' (carne), earlier from Latin
'carnem' and 'levare'.
carte-blanche - full discretionary power, freedom or
permission to do anything - from the original French term
adopted into English, meaning a signed blank cheque for
which the recipient decided the amount to be given, the
translation meaning literally blank paper.
cat and fiddle - common pub name - while appearing in the
famous nursery rhyme, the phrase came originally from
'Caton le fidele' (Caton the faithful) governor of Calais,
France.
cat's paw - a person used by another for an unpleasant or
distasteful task - from the fable of unknown origin in which a
monkey uses the cat's paw to retrieve hot roasted chestnuts
from the fire.
let the cat out of the bag - give away a secret - a country
folk deception was to substitute cat for a suckling pig in a
bag for sale at market; if the bag was opened the trick was
revealed. See also 'pig in a poke'.
catch-22 - an impossible problem in which the solution
effectively cancels itself out - although often mis-used to
mean any difficult problem, this originally came from Joseph
Heller's book of the same title about a reluctant American
wartime pilot for whom the only living alternative to
continuing in service was to be certified mad; the 'catch-22'
was that the act of applying for certification was deemed to
be the act of a perfectly sane man.
caught red-handed - caught in the act of doing something
wrong, or immediately afterwards with evidence showing, so
that denial is pointless - the expression 'caught red-handed'
has kept a consistent meaning for well over a hundred years
(Brewer lists it in 1870). It's based simply on the metaphor of
a murderer being caught with blood still on their hands, and
therefore would date back probably to the days even before
guns, when to kill another person would have involved the

use of a direct-contact weapon like a dagger or club. The
red-handed image is straightforward enough to have evolved
from common speech, that is to say, there's unlikely to have
been one single quote that originated the expression.
charlie - foolish person, (usage typically 'he's a right charlie'
or 'a proper charlie') - the use of charlie to mean a foolish
person is from the cockney rhyming slang expression Charlie
Smirke (= Berk, which in turn is earlier rhyming slang
Berkley Hunt for the unmentionable - think about tht next
time you call someone a charlie or a berk...). The original
Charlie whose name provided the origin for this rhyming
slang is Charlie Smirke, the English jockey. Charlie Smirke
was a leading rider and racing celebrity from the 1930's-
50's, notably winning the Eclipse Stakes at Sandown Park in
1935 on Windsor Lad, and again in 1952 on the Aga Khan's
horse Tulyar (second place was the teenage Lester Piggott
on Gay Time). See more cockney rhyming slang expressions,
meanings and origins at the cockney rhyming slang section.
checkmate - the final winning move in a game of chess
when the king is beaten, also meaning any winning move
against an opponent - originally from the Persian (now Iran)
'shah mat' literally meaning 'the king is astonished', but
mistranslated into Arabic 'shah mat', to give the meaning
'the king died', which later became Old French 'eschecmat'
prior to the expression entering the English language in the
early 14th century as 'chekmat', and then to 'checkmate'.
Chinese fire drill - chaotic situation, especially one
involving a group's incompetence in carrying out instructions
or a plan (more recently the term also describes a student
prank where a car-full of students stops at red traffic lights,
all occupants leap out, run around the car, return to their
seats and drive off as the lights turn green) - Usage of this
wonderful expression in either situation now seems confined
to USA; although it is supposed to have UK origins, and
various sources state it being in use on both sides of the
Atlantic after World War 1. The expression 'Chinese fire drill'
supposedly derives from a true naval incident in the early

1900's involving a British ship, with Chinese crew:
instructions were given by the British officers to practice a
fire drill where crew members on the starboard side had to
draw up water, run with it to engine room, douse the 'fire', at
which other crew members (to prevent flooding) would pump
out the spent water, carry it away and throw it over the port
side. After initially going to plan, fuelled by frantic
enthusiasm as one side tried to keep pace with the other,
the drill descended into chaos, ending with all crew members
drawing up water from the starboard side, running with it
across the ship, entirely by-passing the engine room, and
throwing the un-used water straight over the port side. It's
certainly an amusing metaphor, if these days an extremely
politically incorrect one. It's akin to other images alluding to
the confusion and inconsistency that Westerners historically
associated with Chinese language and culture, much dating
back to the 1st World War. Other expressions exploiting the
word 'Chinese' to convey confusing or erratic qualities:
Chinese whispers (confused messages), Chinese ace (inept
pilot), and Chinese puzzle (a puzzle without a solution);
'Chinese fire drill' is very much part of this genre.
a chip off the old block - a small version of the original -
was until recently 'of' rather than 'off', and dates back to 270
BC when Greek poet Theocrites used the expression 'a chip
of the old flint' in the poem 'Idylls'.
clap-trap - nonsense - original description was for
something introduced into a theatrical performance or
speech simply to prompt applause.
cleave - split apart or stick/adhere - a fascinating word in
that it occurs in two separate forms, with different origins,
with virtually opposite meanings; cleave: split or break apart,
and cleave: stick or adhere. The words are the same now but
they have different origins. Cleave (split) derives from Old
English, Saxon and Old German cleofan and klioban c.AD900.
Cleave (stick) derives from Old English and Old German
cleofian, clifian and kleben AD900 and earlier. In modern
German the two words are very similar - klieben to split and

kleben to stick, so the opposites-but-same thing almost
works in the German language too, just like English, after
over a thousand years of language evolution. Fascinating.
(Thanks Paul Merison)
living in cloud cuckoo land - being unrealistic or in a
fantasy state - from the Greek word 'nephelococcygia'
meaning 'cloud' and 'cuckoo', used by Aristophanes in his
play The Birds, 414 BC, in which he likened Athens to a city
built in the clouds by birds.
close but no cigar - narrowly failing to get something right
or win - from early USA slot machines which used to give a
cigar as a prize.
ciao - Italian greeting or farewell, and common English
colloquialism meaning 'goodbye' - pronounced 'chow', is
derived from Italian words 'schiavo vosotro' meaning 'I am
your slave'.
coach - tutor - originally university slang simply based on
the metaphor that to get on quickly you would ride on a
coach, (but not a motorised one, as the term was certainly in
use by 1870 when Brewer compiled his dictionary of phrase
and fable).
cobblers - nonsense (from 'a load of balls', meaning
testicles) - see cockney rhyming slang.
cock and bull story - a false account or tall tale - from old
English 'a concocted and bully story'; 'concocted' was
commonly shortened to 'cock', and 'bully' meant
'exaggerated' (leading to bull-rush and bull-frog; probably
from 'bullen', Danish for exaggerated); also the old London
Road at Stony Stratford near Northampton, England has two
old inns next to each other, called The Cock and The Bull;
travellers' stories were said to have been picked up on the
way at the Cock and Bull. Another source is the mythological
fables of Nergal and Osiris; 'Nergal' the ancient Persian idol
means 'dung-hill cock; 'Osiris' was an Egyptian Bull.

knocked into a cocked hat - beaten or rendered useless or
shapeless - a cocked hat was a three-pointed (front, crown
and back) hat worn by a bishop or certain military ranks -
cocked meant turned up. In the traditional English game of
nine-pins (the pins were like skittles, of the sort that led to
the development of tenpin bowling), when the pins were
knocked over leaving a triangular formation of three
standing pins, the set was described as having been knocked
into a cocked hat. 19th C and probably earlier. (1870 Brewer)
codec - digital/analogue electronic conversion device - from
source words COder-DECoder. (Ack DH)
coin a phrase, or coin an expression - as with many very
well used and old expressions, the views of etymologists and
dictionaries vary about this, some even suggesting the 'coin
a phrase' term didn't appear until the 1940's, which I simply
can't believe. I'm inclined to go with Chambers, who say that
the term is very old indeed, and (they say) first recorded in
1589 (no source unfortunately). If there was a single person
to use it first, or coin it, this isn't known - in my view it's
likely the expression simply developed naturally over time
from the specific sense of minting or making a coin, via the
general sense of fabricating anything. In terms of the word
itself it's from the Old French word coin (ironically spelt just
the same as the modern English version - full circle), from
which initially the Middle English verb coinen, meaning to
mint or make money came in around 1338. Some time
between then and late 16th century the term in noun and
verb forms (coinage and coinen) grew to apply to things
other than money, so that the metaphorical development
applying to originating words and phrases then followed. The
metaphor is obviously very apt because of the sense of
originating something which repeats or replicates exactly,
just like coins. In common with very many other expressions,
it's likely that this one too became strengthened because
Shakespeare used it: 'coinage' in the metaphorical sense of
something made, in Hamlet, 1602, Act III Scene III: HAMLET
Why, look you there! look, how it steals away! My father, in
his habit as he lived! Look, where he goes, even now, out at

the portal! [Exit Ghost] QUEEN GERTRUDE This the very
coinage of your brain: This bodiless creation ecstasy Is very
cunning in. HAMLET Ecstasy!
cold turkey - withdrawal effects from abruptly ending a
dependency such as drugs or alcohol - the expression seems
to have been first used in this sense in the 1950's and
appeared in the dictionary of American slang in 1960. The
cold turkey expression is simply a metaphor for the cold
sweat condition that a person experiences during
dependency withdrawal. Prior to this and certainly as early
as 1928 (when it appeared in the British Daily Express
newspaper), the cold turkey expression meant the plain
truth, blunt statements or simple facts of the matter, in turn
derived from 'talk turkey', now meaning to discuss seriously
the financial aspects of a deal, and earlier to talk straight
and 'down-to-earth'. This early 'talk turkey' usage dates back
to the early-1800's USA, and came to the UK later, as Brewer
doesn't list it in his comprehensive dictionary of 1870. The
word turkey is interesting: the turkey species was originally
native only to Mexico where it was found domesticated by
the Mexican people when the Spanish invaded in 1518. The
birds were brought to England in 1524 and appeared in
Europe in 1530, and by 1575 had become associated across
Europe with Christmas celebrations. Turkey is a shortening of
the original forms turkeycock and turkeyhen, being the
names given to guinea-fowl imported from Africa by way of
the country of Turkey, as far back as the 1540's. The word
was soon (circa 1550's) applied erroneously to the turkey
because it was identified with and/or treated as a species of
the guinea fowl. Turkey came to mean an inept person or a
failed production in the mid 1900's, because the bird was
considered particularly unintelligent and witless, and this too
no doubt contributed to the modern meaning of the cold
turkey expression.
condom - birth control sheath - a scientific approach to birth
control is not a recent practice; Latin writer Pliny the Elder
advocated the use of sticky cedar gum as early as the 1st
century, and the Romans were using sheaths of various

descriptions before then. The Italian anatomist Gabriello
Fallopio (yes, he was first to describe the function of the
fallopian tubes) designed the first medicated linen sheath in
the mid 16th century. The condom however takes its name
from the Earl of Condom, personal physician to Charles II,
who recommended its use to the king as a precaution
against syphilis in the second half of the 17th century.
cook the books - falsify business accounts - according to
18th century Brewer, 'cook the books' originally appeared as
the past tense 'the books have been cooked' in a report (he
didn't name the writer unfortunately) referring to the
conduct George Hudson (1700-71), 'the railway king', under
whose chairmanship the accounts of Eastern Counties
Railways were falsified. Brewer says then (1870) that the
term specifically describes the tampering of ledger and other
trade books in order to show a balance in favour of the
bankrupt. Brewer also says the allusion is to preparing meat
for the table. These days the term has a wider meaning,
extending to any kind of creative accounting. Historical
records bear this out, and date the first recorded use quite
accurately: Hudson made a fortune speculating in railway
shares, and then in 1845, which began the period 1845-47
known as 'railway mania' in Britain, he was exposed as a
fraudster and sent to jail. Other cliche references suggest
earlier usage, even 17th century, but there appears to be no
real evidence of this. There is an argument for Brewer being
generally pretty reliable when it comes to first
recorded/published use, because simply he lived far closer to
the date of origin than reference writers of today. If you read
Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable you'll see it does
have an extremely credible and prudent style. The word
'book' incidentally comes from old German 'buche' for beech
wood, the bark of which was used in Europe before paper
became readily available. The verb 'cook' is from Latin
'coquere'.
cried all the way to the bank - financially successful
despite apparent problems - a frequent quote by the pianist

entertainer Liberace from 1950's and 60's, in response to
questions about hostility he experienced from critics.
cut and dried - already prepared or completed (particularly
irreversibly), or routine, hackneyed (which seem to be more
common US meanings) - the expression seems to have been
in use early in the 18th century (apparently it appeared in a
letter to the Rev. Henry Sacheverell dated 1710 - if you know
any more about him let me know...) but Brewer makes no
mention of the term in his highly authoritative dictionary in
1870, so I'd guess the term is probably US in origin. The root
is likely to be a combination of various cutting and drying
analogies involving something being prepared for use,
including herbs, flowers, tobacco, timber and meat. The fact
that there were so many applications of the process would
have certainly reinforced the establishment and use of the
term. 'Cut and tried' is probably a later US variant (it isn't
commonly used in the UK), and stems from the tailor's
practice of cutting and then trying a suit on a customer,
again with a meaning of completing something.
cut and run - get what you want then leave quickly -
originally a sailing term, cut the ropes and run before the
wind.
cut to the chase - get to the point, get to the important or
exciting part (of a story, explanation, presentation, etc) - a
metaphor based on a film editor cutting incidental
sequences from a film, so as to show the chase scene
sooner, in order to keep the audience's attention; 'the chase'
traditionally being the most exciting part and often the
climax of many films. The expression was first used in a
literally sense in the film-making industry in the 1920's, and
according to certain sources appeared in print in 1929 - a
novel about Holywood, although no neither title nor author is
referenced. The modern metaphor usage began in the
1980's at the latest, and probably a lot sooner.
cut to the quick - offend a person sharply and deeply -
'quick' is an old word for tender flesh, either under the skin,
or especially under the fingernails; Sir Thomas More's 1551

'Utopia' included the expression 'shave to the quick'
describing the ruthless exploitation of tenants by landlords,
and Browning used the expression when describing a fatally
wounded soldier's pride as being 'touched to the quick' in his
1842 poem 'Incident at the French camp'.
who's your daddy?/who's yer daddy?/who's ya daddy?
- (effectively) I control you - the Who's Your Daddy?
expression has many subtle variations. Opinions are divided,
and usage varies, between two main meanings, whose roots
can be traced back to mid-late 1800's, although the full
expression seems to have evolved in the 1900's. The full
'Who's Your daddy? expression is likely to have originated in
USA underworld and street cultures. The main variations are:
I've looked/I'm looking after you, or taken/taking care of
you, possibly in a sexually suggestive or sexually ironic
way. This alludes to the 'sugar-daddy' term from late
19th century USA, which is based on the image of an
older man giving (candy) reward in return for intimacy,
either to a younger woman/mistress or younger gay
male lover.
I've beaten you/I'm beating you, at something, and you
are defenceless. This alludes to parental dominance
and authority, and at its extreme, to intimacy with the
victim's/opponent's mother.
The use of the expression as a straight insult, where the
meaning is to question a person's parentage, is found, but
this would not have been the origin, and is a more recent
retrospectively applied meaning.
The sexual undertow and sordid nature of the expression has
made this an appealing expression in the underworld, prison
etc.
In much of the expression's common usage the meanings
seem to converge, in which the hybrid 'feel' is one of
(sexual) domination/control/intimacy in return for
payment/material reward/safety/protection.

Daddy has many other slang uses which would have
contributed to the
dominant/paternalistic/authoritative/sexual-contract feel of
the expression, for example:
the best/biggest/strongest one of anything (the daddy
of them all)
a prostitute's pimp or boyfriend
a leading prisoner (through intimidation) at a borstal
damp squib - failure or anti-climax - a squib is an old word
for a firework, and a wet one would obviously fail to go off
properly or at all.
get my/your/his dander up - get into a rage or temper -
dander meant temper, from 19thC and probably earlier; the
precise origin is origin uncertain, but could have originated
in middle English from the Somerset county region where
and when it was used with 'dandy', meaning distracted
(Brewer and Helliwell).
days of wine and roses - past times of pleasure and plenty
- see 'gone with the wind'.
dead pan - expressionless - from the 1844 poem ('The Dead
Pan') by Elizabeth Browning which told that at the time of the
crucifixion the cry 'Great Pan is dead' swept across the
ocean, and 'the responses of the oracles ceased for ever'
(Brewer).
dead wood - someone serving no use (especially when part
of a working group) - from the ship-building technique of
laying blocks of timber in the keel, not an essential part of
the construction, simply to make the keel more rigid.
december - the twelfth month - originally Latin for 'tenth
month' when the year began with March.
the devil to pay and no pitch hot - a vital task to do now
with no resource available - see 'hell to pay'.

devil's advocate - someone posing a hypothetical
argument against a logical proposition - from the process in
the Catholic Church of debating a name for suggested
canonisation (making someone a saint); when a name is
proposed someone is appointed to present an opposing
argument, that person being originally called the 'advocatus
diaboli'.
dickens - (what the dickens, in dickens' name, hurts like the
dickens, etc) - Dickens is another word for devil, and came to
be used as an oath in the same way as God, Hell, Holy Mary,
etc. Brewer (dictionary of phrase and fable 1870) explains
that the 'dickens' oath, is a perversion (variation) of, and
derived from 'Nick' and 'Old Nick'. The dickens expression
appeared first probably during the 1600's. The etymology of
'nick' can be traced back a lot further - 'nicor' was Anglo-
Saxon for monster. The devil-association is derived from
ancient Scandinavian folklore: a Nick was mythological
water-wraith or kelpie, found in the sea, rivers, lakes, even
waterfalls - half-child or man, half-horse - that took delight
when travellers drowned. Beginning several hundred years
ago both protestant and catholic clergy commonly referred
to these creatures, presumably because the image offered
another scary device to persuade simple people to be ever
god-fearing (".....or Old Nick will surely get you when you
next go to the river...") which no doubt reinforced the Nick
imagery and its devil association. So too did the notoriety of
Italian statesman and theorist, Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-
1527) - (who also gave rise to the expression 'machiavellian',
meaning deviously wicked). 'Nick' Machiavelli became an
image of devilment in the Elizabethan theatre because his
ideas were thought to be so heinous. Shakespeare has
Mistress Page using the 'what the dickens' expression in the
Merry Wives of Windsor, c.1600, so the expression certainly
didn't originate as a reference to Charles Dickens as many
believe, who wasn't born until 1812. Charles Dickens' fame
however (he was extremely famous in England while alive
and writing as well as ever since) would certainly have
further reinforced the popularity of the 'dickens' expression.

die hard - fierce or resilient - the die-hards were the British
57th Foot regiment, so called after their Colonel Inglis
addressed them before the (victorious) battle of Albuera
against Napoleon's French on 16 May in 1811, 'Die hard my
lads, die hard'. Only one officer of 24 survived, and only 168
men of 584. The regiment later became the West Middlesex.
the die is cast - a crucial irreversible decision has been
made - Julius Caesar in 49 BC used the metaphor to describe
a military move into Italy across the river Rubicon, which he
knew would give rise to a conflict he had to win. The
metaphor relates to the throwing of a single die (dice being
the plural). See also 'cross the rubicon'.
dipstick - idiot - see cockney rhyming slang.
dog in a manger - someone who prevents others from
using something even though he's not using it himself - from
Aesop's fable about the dog who sits in the manger with no
need of the hay in it, and angily prevents the cattle from
coming near and eating it.
doldrums - depressed lazy state - area of the ocean near
the equator between the NE and SE trade winds, noted for
calms, sudden squalls and unpredictable winds.
doolally - mad or crazy (describing a person) - originally a
military term from India. Soldiers at the end of their term
were sent to Deodali, a town near Bombay, to wait to be
shipped home. The hot climate, frustration and boredom
caused odd behaviour among the delayed troops, who were
said to be suffering from 'doolally tap', which was the full
expression. 'Tap' was the East Indian word for malarial fever.
doss-house - rough sleeping accommodation - the term is
from Elizabethan England when 'doss' was a straw bed, from
'dossel' meaning bundle of straw, in turn from the French
'dossier' meaning bundle.
double whammy - two problems in one - from the American
cartoon strip character 'Li'l Abner' by Al Capp (1909-79), who
could cast a spell on someone by 'aiming' at them with his

finger and one eye open; he called it 'shooting a whammy'.
He could shoot a 'double whammy' by aiming with both eyes
open.
double cross - to behave duplicitously, to betray or cheat,
particularly to renege on a deal - a folklore explanation is
that the expression double cross is based on the record-
keeping method of a London bounty hunter and blackmailer
called Jonathan Wilde, who captured criminals for court
reward in the 1700's. Wilde kept names of criminals in a
book, and alongside those who earned his protection by
providing him with useful information or paying sufficiently
he marked a cross. When they ceased to be of use Wilde
added a second cross to their names, and would turn them in
to the authorities for the bounty. Supposedly Wilde was
eventually betrayed and went to the gallows himself.
Another explanation is that it relates to the name of a British
intelligence group in World War II, engaged in tricking
German spies to defect. Thirdly, and perhaps more feasibly,
double cross originates from an old meaning of the word
cross, to swindle or fix a horse race, from the 1800's (the
term apparently appears in Thackeray's Vanity Fair, to
describe a fixed horse race). Double cross specifically
described the practice of pre-arranging for a horse to lose,
but then reneging on the fix and allowing the horse to win.
An early alternative meaning of the word 'double' itself is is
to cheat, and an old expression 'double double' meant the
same as double cross (Ack Colin Sheffield, who in turn
references the Hendrickson's Encyclopedia of Word and
Phrase Origins).
down in the dumps - miserable - from earlier English 'in
the dumps'; 'dumps' derives from Dumops, the fabled
Egyptian king who built a pyramid died of melancholy.
Dumm also means 'stupid' or 'dull' in German.
draconian - harsh (law or punishment) - from seventh
century BC when Athens appointed a man called Draco to
oversee the transfer of responsibility for criminal punishment

to the state; even minor crimes were said to carry the death
penalty, and the laws were apparently written in blood.
at the drop of a hat - instantly - from a traditional way of
starting a race in the 1800's.
drum - house or apartment - from a nineteenth century
expression for a house party, derived originally from an
abbreviation of 'drawing room'.
dum-dum bullet - a bullet with a soft or cut nose, so as to
split on impact and cause maximum harm - from the town
Dum Dum in India, where the bullets were first produced.
duck (also duckie) - term of endearment like 'my dear' or
'darling', from the east midlands of england - originated from
Norwegian and Danish 'dukke' meaning 'doll' or 'baby'; this
area also has many towns and villages ending in 'by' (Rugby,
Derby, Corby, Ashby, Blaby, Cosby, Enderby, Groby, etc),
which is Norse for a small settlement or farm.
dunderhead - muddle-headed person - 'dunder' was the
dregs or over-flowed froth of fermenting wine, originally from
Spanish 'redundar', to overflow or froth over. (The Oxford
English dictionary says this origin is 'perhaps from 17th
century English dunner, meaning a resounding noise; we
doubt it somehow...)
dutch courage - bravery boosted by alcohol - from the 17th
century story of the sailors aboard the Hollander 'man-o-war'
British warship being given a hogshead of brandy before
engaging the enemy during the Dutch Wars.
dutch auction - where the price decreases, rather than
increases, between bidders (sellers in this case) prior to the
sale - 'dutch' was used in a variety of old English expressions
to suggest something is not the real thing (dutch courage,
dutch comfort, dutch concert, dutch gold) and in this case a
dutch auction meant that it is not a real auction at all.
dyed in the wool - deeply and resolutely (especially having
a particular belief or behaviour) - from the process of

colouring wool, which can be done at various stages; to dye
'in the wool', before spinning is the earliest stage it can be
done, and it gives the most thorough effect.
eat crow - acknowledge a mistake (giving rise to personal
discomfort), suffer humiliation - the expression's origins are
American, from imagery and folklore from the late 19th
century. Crow would have been regarded as a rather
distasteful dish, much like the original English Umble Pie
metaphor from the 1700's (see Eat Humble Pie below).
According to etymologist James Rogers, eating crow became
the subject of a story reported in the Atlanta Constitution in
1888, which told the tale of an American soldier in the War of
1812, who shot a crow during a ceasefire. A British officer
complimented the soldier on his shooting and asked to see
the gun, which when handed to him, he turned on the
soldier, reprimanding him for trespassing, and forcing the
soldier to eat a piece of the dead crow. However, on having
the gun returned to him, the soldier promptly turned the
weapon on the officer, and made him eat the rest of the
crow.
eat humble pie - acknowledge one's own mistake or adopt
a subordinate position, particularly giving rise to personal
discomfort - nothing to do with the word 'humble' originally;
'umbles' were the offal of animals hunted for their meat;
while the lord and his guests dined on venison, his hunting
staff ate pie made from the umbles. The word 'umbles' is
from 16th century England and had been mistranslated into
'humble' by the late 19th century (Brewer references it in his
dictionary of 1870).
eeny meeney miney moe - the beginning of the 'dipping'
children's rhyme, and an expression meaning 'which one
shall I choose?' - is derived from the Welsh language
translation of 'one, two, three, four' (= eeny meeney miney
moe).
egg on your face - to look stupid - from the tradition of
poor stage performers having eggs thrown at them.

eleventh hour - just in time - from the Bible, Matthew xx.1.
make ends meet - budget tightly - the metaphor was
originally wearing a shorter (tighter) belt.
put some english on it - add side-spin, distort, deceive
(when striking or throwing a ball in sport, or metaphorically
when communicating something) - an expression with 19th
century American origins (Mark Twain apparently used it
c.1870), alluding to and based on the practice in English
billiards of imparting spin to a ball. The expression is
commonly used in American pool. A ball that drops into a
pocket with the aid of spin - generally unintended - is said to
'get in english'. The use of the word English to mean spin
may also have referred to the fact that the leather tip of a
billiard cue which enables better control of the ball was
supposedly an English invention. The expression additionally
arguably refers to the less than straight-forward nature of
certain English behaviour as perceived by some Americans.
'English' therefore means spin in both of its senses - literal
and now metaphorical - since 'spin' has now become a term
in its own right meaning deceptive communication, as used
commonly by the media referring particularly to PR activities
of politicians and corporates, etc. 'Body English' is a
variation, and some suggest earlier interpretation (although
logically the 'spin' meaning would seem to be the prior use),
referring to a difficult physical contortion or movement.
There are debates as to whether 'English' when used for
these meanings should be capitalised or not: almost
certainly the convention to capitalise (by virtue of English
being derived from a proper noun) will continue to diminish
(much like the use of capitals in very many other expressions
too, eg., double-dutch).
an Englishman's home is his castle - a person's home is
or should be sacrosanct - from old English law when bailiffs
were not allowed to force entry into a dwelling to seize
goods or make arrest.
etiquette - how to behave in polite society - originally from
French and Spanish words ('etiquette' and 'etiqueta'

meaning book of court ceremonies); a card was given to
those attending Court (not necessarily law court, more the
court of the ruling power) containing directions and rules;
the practice of issuing a card with instructions dates back to
the soldier's billet (a document), which was the order to
board and lodge the soldier bearing it. See also 'that's the
ticket'.
the exception proves the rule - the common meaning
today is that the existence of an exception is in some way
evidence that the rule exists (which is somewhat illogical) -
this has to be one of the most confused figures of speech in
the English language; the original expression actually
derives from a Latin legal term from the 1600's, 'exceptio
probat regulam in casibus non exceptis' ('in the cases not
excepted') which came into common use as 'exceptio probat
regulam' ('the exception establishes the rule'), whose proper
and logical meaning was that the exception provides the
opportunity to test and refine more accurately the scope of
the rule, (neither proving the existence or otherwise of the
exception or the rule!). Isn't language wonderful!....
play fast and loose - be unreliable, say one thing and do
another - originally from a fairground trick, in which the
player was invited to pin a folded belt 'fast' (firmly) to the
table with a skewer, at which the stall-holder would pull both
ends of the belt to 'loose' it free and show that it had not
been pinned.
father time - the expression and image of Father Time, or
Old Father Time, certainly pre-dates 16th c. Shakespeare,
which according to the etymologists seems to be the first
English recorded use of the expression, in Comedy Of Errors,
Act II Scene II, a quote by Dromio of Syracuse: 'Marry Sir, by
a rule as plain as the bald pate of father Time himself.'
(Shakespeare's capitalisation of Time but not father is
interesting, but I'd stop short of suggesting it indicates the
expression was not widely in use by that stage.) There is a
huge list of Father-prefixed terms, dating back hundreds and
thousands of years. The imagery is basically centred around

the originator or founder, also more specifically God the Holy
Father, and similar roots in other religions: the Father image
is associated with gods of various sorts, and pervades the
terminology of religious systems - Fathers are monks, friars,
priests, popes; there are the apostolic fathers, the primitive
fathers - early Christian advocates, Greek and Latin church
Fathers, there is Father Neptune (the ocean), Father Thames,
Father Tiber (and Father just about every other river in the
world), all giving the sense of association with founding
source or originator. It's entirely logical therefore that Father
Time came to be the ultimate expression of age or time for
most of the world's cultures. Not surprisingly it's therefore
impossible to identify a single originating source.
a feather in your cap - a recognised achievement - from
the ancient custom seen in various cultures of warriers and
hunters adding a feather to their headgear for each kill (eg.,
native American Indians, the Incas, Abyssinians, Lycians, and
the Caufirs of Cabul); it was even customary in Scottish and
Welsh field shooting for for the first to kill a woodcock to do
the same; maybe still is....
fiasco - something gone badly wrong - from the Italian
metaphor; when making Venetian glass if the slightest flaw
was seen the glassblower turned the article into a 'fiasco' - a
common flask.
flash in the pan - brief and unexpected success - evolved
from earlier slightly different meaning: an effort which fails
to come to fruition, which was based on an old firearms
metaphor: ie the accidental premature ignition of the
priming gunpowder contained the the 'pan' (part of an old
gun's lock) which would normally ignite the charge in the
barrel.
flogging a dead horse - trying to sell the unsaleable - The
British MP Bright, c.1868, described Earl Russell's Reform Bill
as a 'dead horse' and all attempts to make it law like
'flogging a dead horse'.

fly in the face of - go against accepted wisdom, knowledge
or common practice - an expression in use in the 19th
century and probably even earlier, from falconry, where the
allusion is to a falcon or other bird of prey flying at the face
of its master instead of settling on the falconers gauntlet.
font - typeface - from the French 'fonte', in turn from 'fondre'
(like 'foundry') meaning to melt or cast (printing originally
used cast metal type, which was 'set' to make the printing
plates).
foolscap - a certain size of paper - from the Italian 'foglio-
capo' meaning folio-sized (folio was originally a book formed
by folding a large sheet once to create two leaves, and
nowadays means 'folder'). Water-marks on foolscap paper
from 13-17th centuries showed a 'fool' (a jester with cap and
bells).
footloose/footloose and fancy free - free of obligations or
responsibilities/free and single, unattached - as regards
footloose, while the simple literal origin from the
combination of the words foot and loose will have been a
major root of the expression, there is apparently an
additional naval influence: the term may also refer to the
mooring lines, called foot lines, on the bottom of the sails of
17th and 18th century ships. Loosing these 'foot lines'
allowed the sails to flap freely, hence 'footloose'. Other
sources confirm that the term first started appearing in print
around 1700, when the meaning was 'free to move the feet,
unshackled,'. The figurative modern sense of 'free to act as
one pleases' developed later, apparently from 1873. (Ack
RF). The expression 'footloose and fancy free' specifically
applies to a person's unattached status. In this context
'fancy' retains an older meaning from the 16th century: ie,
'love' or 'amorous inclination', which still crops up today in
the expression to 'fancy a person', meaning to be sexually
attracted to them.
fore! - warning shout in golf when a wildly struck ball
threatens person(s) ahead - misunderstood by many to be
'four', the word is certainly 'fore', which logically stems from

the Middle English meaning of fore as 'ahead' or 'front', as in
forearm, forerunner, foreman, foremost, etc., or more
particularly 'too far forward' in the case of an overhit ball.
Sources such as Chambers suggest the golf term was in use
by the late 1870's. The use of the 'fore' prefix in the context
of a warning or pre-emptive action was established long ago
in similar senses: forewarn, foretell, foreshadow, forestall,
and foresee, etc., (foresee actually dates back to the
1200's).
there ain't no such thing as a free lunch - you never get
something for nothing - now a common business expression,
often used in acronym form 'TANSTAAFL', the first recorded
use of this version was by Robert Heinlein in his 1966 book
'The moon is a harsh princess'. The general expression
'there's no such thing as a free lunch' dates back to the
custom of America 19th century bars giving free snacks in
expectation of customers buying drink. American economist
Milton Friedman, who won the 1976 Nobel prize for
economics, did much to popularise the expression in that
form and even used it as a title for one of his books.
pardon my french/excuse my french - an apology for
using crude language - The word 'French' has long been used
in the English language to express crudeness, stemming
from the rivalry, envy and xenophobia that has characterised
England's relationship with France and the French for more
than a thousand years. Examples include french letter,
french kiss, french postcards, and other sexual references.
The expression 'french leave', meaning to take or use
something and depart without paying or giving thanks
(based on the reputed behaviour of invading French soldiers)
had been in use for several hundred years prior to Brewer's
reference of the phrase in 1870. All of this no doubt
reinforced and contributed to the 'pardon my french'
expression. However, 'Pardon my french' may actually have
even earlier origins: In the three to four hundred years that
followed the Norman invasion of England in 1066, the
Norman-style French language became the preferred tongue
of the governing, educated and upper classes, a custom

which cascaded from the Kings and installed Norman and
Breton landowners of of the times. The majority of the
population however continued to speak English (in its
developing form of the time), which would have provided
very fertile circumstances for an expression based on
language and cultural mockery. And, perhaps another
contending origin: It is said that the Breton people (from
Brittany in France) swear in French because they have no
native swear words of their own. Might this have been the
earliest beginning of the expression?
funny bone - semi-exposed nerve in elbow - a pun based on
'humerus', the name of the upper arm bone.
the full monty - the full potential of anything, or recently,
full frontal nudity (since the film of the same name) - the two
much earlier origins are: 1. Field Marshall Montgomery's
insistence on a full English breakfast every morning, and 2. a
full sunday-best suit and tie outfit from the tailors Montague
Burton.
gamut - whole range - originally 'gammut' from 'gamma ut',
which was the name of the lowest note of the medieval
music scale during its development into today's 'doh re mi fa
so la ti doh'; then it was 'ut re mi fa sol la', and the then
diatonic scale was referred to as the gammut.
gander - to look at something enthusiastically - an old
English expression from the image of a goose (gander is a
male goose and was earlier the common word for a goose)
craning its neck to look at something.
gaolbird - see jailbird.
gerrymander - to divide an area into representative
districts to the advantage of one political party - from when
Eldridge Gerry used the method as Governor of
Massachusetts; the map artist Gilbert Stuart interpreted the
new shape as a salamander, receiving the comment that it
was not a salamander, it was a 'gerry-mander'.

Gestapo - Nazi Germany's secret police - from the official
name of Germany's Securty Department, GEheime STAats
POlizei, meaning 'Secret State Police', which was founded by
Hermann Goering in 1933, and later controlled by Heinrich
Himmler. The Gestapo was declared a criminal organization
by the Nuremburg Tribunal in 1946. The pattern for
establishing the acronym probably originated from the
former name for the ordinary civil police, 'Schupo, from
'SCHUtz POlizei'.
gibberish - nonsense - first came into European language in
various forms hundreds of years ago; derives from 'Geber'
the Arabian; he was an 11th century alchemist who wrote his
theories on making gold and other substances in mystical
jargon, because at that time in his country writing openly on
alchemy was punishable by death.
good-bye - originally a contraction of 'God be with ye (you)';
'God' developed into 'good', in the same style as good day,
good evening, etc.; 'good be with ye' would have meant
'may you fare well'.
greenback - American dollar note - from when the backs of
banknotes issued in 1862 during the American Civil were
printed in green.
greyhound - racing dog - originally 'grayhound' these dogs
used to hunt badgers, which were called 'grays'.
grog - derogatory term for beer or other alcoholic drink -
after Admiral Edward Vernon, who because he wore a
grogram cloak was called 'old grog' by his sailors; (grogram
is a course fabric of silk, mohair and wool, stiffened by gum).
In 1740 Admiral Vernon was the first to serve rum diluted
with water and lime juice to seamen, instead of neat rum,
and his sailors called the new drink 'grog'. The purpose was
chiefly to increase resistance to the disease, scurvy, which
resulted from vitamin C deficiency. The practise of ensuring a
regular intake of vitamin C in this way also gave rise to the
term 'limey', used by foreigners initally to mean a British

seaman, and later extended to British men generally. (With
thanks to Katherine Hull)
guillotine - now a cutting device particularly for paper, or
verb 'to cut' - named after the machine's inventor, Joseph
Guillotin, a French physician, who devised the contraption as
a means of performing the death penalty by beheading
without unnecessary pain; it was introduced in France in
1792, and fascinatingly Brewer's 1870 derivation refers to its
continuing use. It was originally called 'Guillotin's daughter'.
guinea-pig - a person subjected to testing or experiment -
not a reference to animal testing, this term was originally
used to describe a volunteer (for various ad hoc duties,
including director of a company, a juryman, a military officer,
a clergyman) for which they would receive a nominal fee of a
guinea, or a guinea a day. Incidentally, guineapigs didn't
come from Guinea (in West Africa), they came from Guyana
(South America).
gung-ho - very enthusiastic or belligerent, particularly in
international politics - the expression originates from the
'Gung-Ho' motto of Carlson's Raiders, a highly potent and
successful marines guerrilla unit operating in World War II's
Pacific and Japanese arena from 1942. Evans F Carlson had
spent several years in China before the war, and developed
organizational and battle theory from observing Chinese
team-working and cooperation. Carlson took the gung-ho
expression from the Chinese term 'kung-ho' meaning 'to
work together'.
guy-rope - used to steady or or hold up something,
especially a tent - from Spanish 'guiar', meaning 'to guide'.
gymnastics - athletic exercises - from the Greek word
'gymnasium', which was where athletic sports were
performed for the public's entertainment; athletes performed
naked, and here lies the origin: 'gumnos' is Greek for naked.
hand over fist - very rapidly (losing or accumulating,
usually money) - from a naval expression 'hand over hand'
which Brewer references in 1870. Hand over hand meant to

travel or progress very quickly, usually up or down, from the
analogy of a sailor climbing a rope, or hauling one in 'hand
over hand'. The expression extended to grabbing fistfuls of
money sometime after 1870 (otherwise Brewer would almost
certainly have referenced it), probably late 19th century.
hard and fast - firmly, especially rules - another nautical
term; 'hard' meant that the ship was immovable, 'hard and
fast' meant in dry dock.
hair of the dog - a small drink of alcohol to cure a hangover
- and very old expression; the full expression is 'a hair of the
dog that bit you', and originates from a poem credited to
Aristophanes, Greek comic dramatist (448-387 BC): 'Take the
hair, it's well written, of the dog by which you're bitten, work
off one wine by his brother, and one labour with another...'
handicap - disadvantage - from an old English card game
called 'hand I the cap', in which the cap (which held the
stake money) was passed to the next dealer unless the
present dealer raised his starting stake, by virtue of having
won the previous hand, which required the dealer to raise his
stake (hence the disadvantage) by the same factor as the
number of hands he had beaten. The game was first
reported by Samuel Pepys in his diary, 18 Sept 1680.
hang out - to frequent or be found at - sounds like a recent
expression but it's 1830's or earlier, originally meant 'where
one lives and works' from the custom of hanging a sign of
occupation or trade outside a shop or business, as pubs still
do.
heads or tails - said on flipping a coin - Brewer gave the
explanation in 1870; it's an old English expression, with even
earlier roots: 'heads' because all coins had a head on one
side; the other had various emblems: Britannia, George and
the Dragon, a harp, a the royal crest of arms, or an
inscription, which were all encompassed by the word 'tails',
meaning the opposite to heads. Tails was the traditional and
obvious opposite to heads (as in 'can't make head nor tail of
it'). The pluralisation came about because coin flipping was a

guessing game in itself - actually dating back to Roman
times, who, due to their own coin designs called the game
'heads or ships'.
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - ignore a
woman's wishes and she is liable to be extremely angry -
originally from William Congreve's 1697 play The Mourning
Bride: 'Heaven has no rage, like love to hatred turned, Nor
hell a fury, like woman scorned.'
hell to pay - seriously bad consequences - a nautical
expression; 'pay' meant to waterproof a ship's seems with
tar. Probably derived from the expression 'the devil to pay
and no pitch hot', referring to when a ship was turned on its
side for repairing, just out of the water with the keel exposed
while the tide was out; the 'devil' was the seem between the
ship's keel and garboard-strake (the bottom-most planks
connecting to the keel), so-called due to its inaccessibility.
hickory dickory dock - beginning the nursery rhyme (... the
mouse ran up the clock, etc.) - these strange words origins
are from the Welsh translation of the numbers 'eight, nine,
ten'.
highbrow/lowbrow - clever/unclever - brow is the forehead
- highbrow meant high and large intellect from the image of
a big brain causing a high and pronounced forehead.
Lowbrow is a leter expression that is based on the former
highbrow expression. From the 19thC at the latest.
hob-nob - to socialise, particularly drink with - was originally
'hob and nob together', when hob-nob had another entirely
different meaning, now obsolete ('hit or miss' or 'give and
take' from 'to have or not have', from the Anglo-Saxon
'habben' have, and 'nabben' not to have); today's modern
'drink with' meaning derives from the custom of pubs having
a 'hob' in the fireplace on which to warm the beer, and a
small table there at which to sit cosily called a 'nob', hence
'hob and nob'.
hobson's choice - no choice at all - from the story of Tobias
Hobson, Cambridge innkeeper who had a great selection of

horses available to travellers, but always on the basis that
they took the horse which stood nearest to the stable door
(so that, according to 'The Spectator' journal of the time,
'each customer and horse was served with the same
justice').
hoi polloi - an ordinary mass of people - it literally means in
Greek 'the many', (so the 'the' in common usage is actually
redundant).
Holy Grail - the biblical and mythical cup or dish, or a
metaphor for something extremely sought-after and elusive -
the Holy Grail is either a (nowadays thought to be) cup or (in
earlier times) a dish, which supposedly Christ used at the
last supper, and which was later used by Joseph of
Arimathaea to catch some of the blood of Christ at the
crucifixion. The Holy Grail then (so medieval legend has it),
came to England where it was lost (somewhat conveniently
some might say...), and ever since became a focus of search
efforts and expeditions of King Arthur's Knights Of The Round
Table, not to mention the Monty Python team. The cup/dish
confusion seems to stem from the closeness of the roots of
the words: Old English 'Greal' and Old French 'Graal' meant
Cup, and Medieval Latin 'Gradalis' was a Dish or Platter,
probably from Latin 'Crater', meaning Bowl.
holy mackerel - exclamation of surprise - A blasphemous
oath from the same 'family' as goddam and darn it, etc. Holy
Mackerel dates back at least 200 years and is one of very
many blasphemous oaths with the Holy prefix. Holy Mackerel
was almost certainly a reference to Catholics eating fish on
Fridays (rather like Holy Cow is a reference to Hindus, and
Holy Smoke is a jibe at incense burning and funeral pyres;
also Holy Moses - shortened to the rhyming Holy Moley - the
way that the words trip of the tongue is very significant in
how these expressions become widely used and adopted,
and Holy Mackerel does have a certain ring to it, in a way
that Holy Skate, or Holy Cod do not..... ). As well as being a
popularly eaten fish of the times (affordable by Catholics on
limited budgets - the insulting term 'mackerel snatchers' was

also used for Catholics in the 19th century), the word
Mackerel has historically been a strong fish symbol and fish
stereotype (the French word maquereau is slang for 'pimp',
due to its habit supposedly of leading other fish to their
mates). The term Holy Mackerel would also have served as a
euphemistic substitute for Holy Mary or Holy Mother of God,
which is why words beginning with M feature commonly in
these expressions.
home sweet home - sentimental expression of home - from
American John Howard Payne's words for the 1823 opera,
The Maid of Milan, the song's word's are ''Be it never so
humble, there's no place like home'.
honcho - boss - originally an American expression from the
2nd World War, derived from the Japanese 'hancho' meaning
squad leader.
honeymoon - holiday after marriage - derived from the
practice of the ancient Teutons, Germanic people of the 2nd
century BC, who drank 'hydromel' (honey wine) for a 'moon'
(thirty days) after marriage. Supposedly Attila the Hun drank
so much hydromel at his wedding feast that he died.
hoodwink - deceive deliberately - the hoodwink word is first
recorded in 1562 according to Chambers. It simply originates
from the literal meaning and use to describe covering the
eyes with a hood or blindfold. This was the original meaning.
Today's metaphorical expression and meaning 'to deceive'
developed in the early 17thC from the earlier use of the word
to mean 'conceal' in the late 16thC.
by hook or by crook - any way possible - in early England
the poor of the manor were able to to collect wood from the
forest by using a metal spiked hook and a crook (a staff with
hooked end used by shepherds), using the crook to pull
down what they couldn't reach with the hook. The equivalent
French expression means 'either with the thief's hook or the
bishop's crook'. The expression has also been reinforced by a
fabled Irish battle to take Waterford from the sea, when the
invasion leader, Strongbow, learned that the Tower of Hook

and the Church of Crook stood on either side of the harbour
remarked that he would take the town 'by hook or by crook'.
horse-shoe - lucky symbol - the superstition dates from the
story of the devil visiting St Dunstan, who was a skilled
blacksmith, asking for a single hoof to be shod. Dunstan tied
him to the wall and purposefully subjected the devil to so
much pain that he agreed never to enter any place
displaying a horse-shoe.
get on/off your high horse - behave/desist from behaving
arrogantly - metaphor based on the ceremonial tradition
from 1700's England and earlier, for very important people -
military leaders, nobility etc - to lead parades on horseback,
as a sign of their superiority and to increase their
prominence.
hue and cry - noisy mob - an old English legal term dating
from the 13th century, for a group pursuing a suspected
villain; 'hue' is from 'the French 'huee', to shout after.
eat humble pie - acknowledge one's own mistake or adopt
a subordinate position - nothing to do with the word 'humble'
originally; 'umbles' were the offal of animals hunted for their
meat; while the lord and his guests dined on venison, his
hunting staff ate pie made from the umbles. The word
'umbles' is from 16th century England and had been
mistranslated into 'humble' by the late 19th century (Brewer
references it in his dictionary of 1870).
humbug - nonsense, particularly when purporting to be
elevated language - probably from 'uomo bugiardo', Italian
for 'lying man'. Reinforced by an early meaning of 'hum', to
deceive (with false applause or flattery).
iota - very small amount - 'iota' is the name of the letter 'i'
in the Greek alphabet, its smallest letter.
jailbird/gaolbird - prison inmate or former inmate,
especially habitual offender - Bird has been underworld slang
for a prisoner since 1500's Britain, and long associated with
being jailed because of the reference to caging and hunting

wild birds; also escaping from captivity, for example the
metaphor 'the bird has flown'. More recently, from mid
1800's Britain, bird is also slang for a prison sentence (based
on the cockney rhyming slang, 'birdlime' = time); from
which, 'doing bird' means serving a prison sentence. Bird
was also slang for a black slave in early 1800's USA, in this
case an abbreviation of blackbird, but again based on the
same allusion to a hunted, captive or caged wild bird. The
jailbird and gaolbird expressions developed initially in
standard English simply as logical extensions of the
component words from as early as the 1600's and both
versions seem to have been in common use since then.
january - the month - 'Janus' the mythical Roman character
had two faces, and so could look back over the past year and
forward to the present one.
jeep - the vehicle and car company - the first 4x4 of them
all, made by the Americans for the 2nd World War - it was
called a General Purpose vehicle, shortened to 'GP' and then
by US GI's to 'jeep', which then became the company name.
jimmy/jimmy riddle - urinate, take a pee, or the noun form,
pee - cockney rhyming slang (jimmy riddle = piddle). The
jimmy riddle expression was almost certainly based on
James (or Jimmy) Riddle Hoffa, infamous Teamsters union
leader and US organized crime figure, 1913-75, who would
have featured in the British news as well as in the US from
1930's to his disappearance and probable murder by the
Mafia in 1975. Cockney rhyming slang had, and still has,
strong associations with the London crime culture and so the
reference to a famous crime crime figure like Hoffa would
have been an obvious origin of this particular slang term.
James Riddle Hoffa was officially declared dead in 1983. His
son James Philip Hoffa, born in Detroit 1941, is a labour
lawyer and was elected to the Teamster's presidency in 1998
and re-elected in 2001. More cockney rhyming slang
expressions, meanings and origins.
juggernaut - huge vehicle - derived from the Hindu God,
and then a temple of the same name, originally 'Jagannatha',

meaning 'lord of the world'. 'The Car of the Juggernaut' was
the huge wooden machine with sixteen wheels containing a
bride for the God; fifty men would drag the vehicle the
temple, while devotees thew themselves under it ('as
persons in England under a train' as Brewer remarked in
1870).
kick the bucket - die - in early English a bucket was a beam
or pully, by which slaughtered pigs or oxen were hung by
their feet. (The sense of something rising up and 'kicking' or
hitting a beam is found also in 'kick the beam', an old
expression meaning to be of very light weight, the beam
being the cross-member of weighing scales; a light pan on
one side would fly up and 'kick' the beam.)
kill with kindness - from the story of how Draco (see
'draconian') met his death, supposedly by being smothered
and suffocated by caps and cloaks thrown onto him at the
theatre of Aegina, from spectators showing their
appreciation of him, 590 BC.
kiss it better - the custom of kissing someone where
injured - originates from the practice of sucking poison from
a wound or venomous bite.
knees-up - wild dancing or partying behaviour - The
expression almost certainly came from the London music hall
song 'Knees Up Mother Brown' written in 1938 by Bert Lee
and E Harris Weston. The song is thought partly to refer to
Queen Victoria and her relationship with her Scottish servant
John Brown. The contributing culture and usage of the
expression would have been specifically London/Cockney.
'Knees up' would have been an appropriate description for
the writers to use for what was considered risque dancing
and behaviour at the time of the music hall variety shows,
notably the can-can, which reached its popular peak during
Victoria's reign, contrasting with the excessive prudishness
of Victorian times. Little seems to be known about the
composers, but Bert Lee was certainly not a young man
when he co-wrote Knees Up Mother Brown, and therefore old
enough to have experienced Victorian times. He co-wrote

other music hall songs a lot earlier, eg., Glow Worm in 1907,
and the better-known Goodby-eee in 1918, with RP Weston,
presumably related to E Harris Weston. It's therefore easy to
imagine how Lee and perhaps his fellow writers might have
drawn on the mood and myth of the Victorian years.
Interestingly Lee and both Westons wrote about at least one
other royal: in the music hall song With Her Head Tucked
Underneath Her Arm, written in 1934 - it was about Anne
Boleyn.
Don't ask me what it all means exactly, but here are the
words to Knees Up Mother Brown. The copyright still seems
to be applicable and owned by EMI.
Knees up Mother Brown! Knees up Mother Brown!
Under the table you must go, Ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-oh!
If I catch you bending, I'll saw your legs right off,
Knees up! Knees Up! Don't get the breeze up,
Knees up Mother Brown!
Oh My! What a rotten song!
What a rotten song!
What a rotten song!
Oh My! What a rotten song!
What a rotten singer too!
Knees up Mother Brown! Knees up Mother Brown!
Under the table you must go, Ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-oh!
If I catch you bending, I'll saw your legs right off,
Knees up! Knees Up! Don't get the breeze up,
Knees - up - Mother - Brown!
Ow's yer farver? All right!
knuckle-duster - weapon worn over fist - the term 'dust'
meant 'beat', from the practice of dusting (beating) carpets;
an early expression for beating someone was to 'dust your
jacket'.
kowtow - to show great deference to someone, or do their
bidding - often mis-spelled 'Cow-Tow', the correct word is
Kowtow, origin being the Chinese word meaning the same as
it does in English.

lame duck - person or thing no longer for purpose -
originally an old London stock exchange term for a member
unable to meet their obligations on settlement day, since
they 'waddled' out of Exchange Alley, which existed until
1773.
left in the lurch - left stranded or perplexed - the word
'lurch' originates from 16th century French 'lourche', a game
like backgammon; a 'lurch' in the card-game cribbage meant
only scoring 31 against an opponent's score of 61, and this
meaning of being left well behind was transferred to other
games before coming into wider metaphoric use.
legend in his/her own lifetime - very famous - originally
written by Lytton Strachey of Florence Nightingale in his
book Eminent Victorians, 1918.
let sleeping dogs lie - don't stir up a potentially difficult
situation when it's best left alone - originated by Chaucer
around 1380 in Troilus and Criseyde, 'It is nought good a
slepyng hound to wake'.
level best - very best effort - probably from the metaphor of
panning for gold in 19th century America, when for the best
results, the pan was kept as level as possible in order to see
any fragments of gold.
library - collection of books - from the Latin, 'liber', which
was the word for rind beneath the bark of certain trees which
was used a material for writing on before paper was
invented; (the French for 'book, 'livre' derives from the same
source).
lick and a promise - the hasty performance of a task, or
something not done properly, also (originally) a hasty wash -
the expression is probably from the first half of the 20th
century, possibly around 1910-20's, and originally meant a
quick or superficial wash (usually of a child's face by the
child). It was certainly well in use by the 1930's for the
original literal meaning. The expression couldn't have
originated a lot earlier as nobody washed much before then
anyway. The full expression was along the lines of 'a lick and

a promise of a better wash to come'. 'Lick' would no doubt
have been an obvious element in the 'lick and promise'
expression as it had been a strong metaphorical word since
15th century. It crops up in other expressions (eg 'lick your
wounds', and 'lick into shape', the latter made popular from
Shakespeare's Richard III, from the common idea then of
new-born animals being literally licked into shape by their
mothers.)
life of Riley - very comfortable existence - based on the
1880's music-hall song performed by Pat Rooney about the
good life of a character called O'Reilly; the audience would
sing the chorus which ended '..are you the O'Reilly who
keeps this hotel? Are you the O'Reilly they speak of so well?
Are you the O'Reilly they speak of so highly, Gor Blime me
O'Reilly, you're looking well'. The expression 'Blimey O'Riley'
probably originated here also.
limbo - state of uncertain balance or being between two
situations - today's use is based on two separate meanings
which may both have had the same origin: 'limbo' is the
Caribbean dance requiring excellent balancing skills, in
which the performer repeatedly passes beneath a horizontal
bar reducing in height each time; the early English meaning
of 'limbo' was for a a temporary holding place, eg between
heaven and hell, or a waste basket; it also meant 'prison' in
Victorian times; original derivation from Latin 'limbus'
meaning 'the edge'.
line - nature of business - dates back to the scriptures, when
a line would be drawn to denote the land or plot of tribe;
'line' came to mean position, which evolved into 'trade' or
'calling'.
line your pockets - make a lot of money for yourself,
perhaps not legitimately - from the early 18th century, when
the court tailor sought the patronage of the famous dandy,
George 'Beau' Brummell, he supposedly sent him a dress
coat with the pockets lined with bank-notes.

lion's share - much the largest share - originally meant 'all
of it', from Aesop's fables, the story of the lion who when
hunting with a heifer, a goat and a sheep, had agreed to
share the quarry equally four ways, but on killing a stag then
justifies in turn why he should keep each quarter, first
because he was 'the lion', then 'the strongest', then 'the
most valiant', and finally 'touch it if you dare'.
a licence to print money - legitimate easy way of making
money - expression credited to Lord Thomson in 1957 on his
ownership of a commercial TV company.
loose cannon - a reckless member of a team - from the
days when sailing warships were armed with enormous
cannons on wheels; if a tethered cannon broke loose it could
do enormous damage.
lock, stock and barrel - everything - from the 1700's,
based on the metaphor of all of the parts of a gun, namely
the lock (the firing mechanism), the stock (the wooden
section) and the barrel.
luddite - one who rejects new technology - after the Luddite
rioters of 1811-16, who in defence of labourers' jobs in early
industrial Britain wrecked new manufacturing machinery.
Their leader was called General Lud, supposedly after Ned
Lud, a mad man of Leicestershire (coincidentally Anstey,
where I live......) who had earlier gained notoriety after he
chased a group of tormenting boys into a building and then
attacked two textiles machines.
man of straw - a man of no substance or capital - in early
England certain poor men would loiter around the law courts
offering to be a false witness for anyone if paid; they showed
their availability by wearing a straw in their shoe.
mealy-mouthed - hypocritical or smooth-tongued - from the
Greek 'meli-muthos' meaning 'honey-speech'.
mentor - personal tutor or counsellor - after 'Mentor', friend
of Ulysses; Ulysses was the mythical Greek king of Ithica who

took Troy with the wooden horse, as told in Homer's Iliad and
Oddysey epic poems of the 8th century BC.
metronome - instrument for marking time - the word
metronome first appeared in English c.1815, and was formed
from Greek: metron = measure, and nomos = regulating, an
adjective from the verb nemein, to regulate. Interestingly the
same word nemein also meant to distribute or deal out,
which was part of the root for the modern English word
nimble, (which originally meant to grasp quickly, hence the
derivation from deal out).
mickey finn/slip a mickey - a knock-out drug, as in to
'spike' the drink of an unwitting victim - The expression is
from late 1800's USA, although the short form of mickey
seems to have appeared later, c.1930's. Mickey is also used
as slang for a depressant-type drug. Sources suggest the
original mickey finn drug was probably chloral hydrate. The
origin derives apparently from a real saloon-keeper called
Mickey Finn, who ran the Lone Star and Palm Saloons in
Chicago from around 1896-1906. It is believed that Finn
acquired the recipe from voodoo folk in New Orleans.
(Confusion over the years has led to occasional use of
Mickey Flynn instead of Mickey Finn. It means the same and
is just a distortion of the original.)
mob - unruly gathering or gang - first appreared in English
late 17th C., as a shortened form of mobile, meaning rabble
or group of common people, from the Latin 'mobile vulgus'
meaning 'fickle crowd'. The term provided the origin for the
word mobster, meaning gangster, which appeared in
American English in the early 1900's.
modem - binary/analogue conversion device enabling
computers to send and read signals via telephone lines. The
origin is simply from the source words
MOdulator/DEModulator. (Ack DH)
movers and shakers - powerful people who get things
done - a combination of separate terms from respectively
George Chapman's 1611 translation of Homer's Iliad, , '..thou

mightie shaker of the earth..' and Shakespeare's Henry VI
part II, when Henry at Cardinal Beaufort's deathbed
beseeches God '..thou eternal mover of the heavens, look
with a gentle eye upon this wretch'. The English poet Arthur
O'Shaunessy's poem 'Ode' (about the power of poetry)
written in 1874 is the first recorded use of the combined
term 'We are the music-makers, and we are the dreamers of
dreams.... yet we are the movers and shakers, of the world
forever, it seems.'
muppet - from the children's TV puppet-like characters
created by Jim Henson's which first appeared on Sesame
Street from 1969, and afterwards on the TV show The
Muppets, which was produced between 1976 and 1980.
Henson invented the name by combining the words
marionette and puppet. Since then the word has taken on
the derogatory slang meaning for a stupid or disadvantaged
person, which provides the basis for a couple of amusing
MUPPET-based acronyms.
to the nth degree - to the utmost extent required - 'n' is
the mathematical symbol meaning 'any number'. The
expression originated from University slang from the 19th
century when 'nth plus 1', meant 'to the utmost', derived
from mathematical formulae where 'n+1' was used to signify
'one more than any number'. An early variation on this cliche
'cut to the nth', meaning 'to be completely spurned by a
friend' (similar to the current 'cut to the quick') has since
faded from use.
nail your colours to the mast - take a firm position -
warships surrendered by lowering their colours (flags), so
nailing them to the mast would mean that there could be no
surrender.
pay on the nail - originated from Bristol, Liverpool
(England) and Limerick (Ireland) stock exchange and
business deals practice, in which bargains which were
traditionally settled by the customer placing his payment on
a 'nail', which was in fact an iron post, many of which are still
to be found in that city and elsewhere. 1870 Brewer confirms

this to be the origin: he quotes a reference from O'Keefe's
'Recollections' which states: "..In the centre of Limerick
Exchange is a pillar with a circular plate of copper about
three feet diameter called 'The Nail' on which the earnest of
all stock exchange bargains has to be paid..," Brewer
continues, "A similar custom prevailed at Bristol, where there
were four pillars, called 'nails' in front of the exchange, for a
similar purpose. In Liverpool Exchange there is a plate of
copper called 'the nail' on which bargains are settled.
(Thanks R Baguley) Pretty incontrovertible I'd say..
the naked truth - the completely unobscured facts - the
ancient fable (according to 1870 Brewer) says that Truth and
Falsehood went bathing and Falsehood stole Truth's clothes.
Truth refused to take Falsehood's and so went naked.
nap - big single gamble or tip in horse racing, also the name
of the card game - from the earlier English expressions 'go to
nap' and 'go nap', meaning to stake all of the winnings on
one hand of cards, or attempt to win all five tricks in a hand,
derived originally and abbreviated from the card-game
'Napolean' after Napolean III (N.B. Napolean III - according to
Brewer - not Bonaparte, who was his uncle).
navvy - road workman - from 'navigator', which was the
word used for a worker who excavated the canals in England
starting around 1755. (Canals were thought of as inland
navigation lines, and inns alongside them were and are still
commonly called 'the navigation'.)
niche - segment or small area, usually meaning suitable for
business specialisation - the use of the word 'niche' was
popularised by the 19th century expression 'a niche in the
temple of fame' which referred to the Pantheon, originally a
church in Paris (not the Pantheon in Rome). It was built 1754-
80 and converted in 1791 to hold the remains of famous
Frenchmen; a 'niche' was a small alcove containing a
monument to a person's name and deeds. The French word
'nicher' means 'to make a nest'.

nickname - an alternative familiar name for someone or
something - from 'an eke name' which became written 'a
neke name'; 'eke' is an extremely old word (ie several
centuries BC) meaning 'also'. It was also an old English word
for an enlarging section added to the base of a beehive.
(give something or someone) the whole nine yards - to
give absolute maximum effort when trying to win or achieve
something - most likely from the 2nd World War, based on
the nine yards length of certain aircraft munition belts;
supposedly the American B-17 aircraft (ack Guy Avenell); the
RAF Spitfire's machine gun bullet belts, also supposedly the
length of American bomber bomb racks, and the length of
ammunition belts in ground based anti-aircraft turrets. Other
suggested origins will all have helped reinforce the
expression: American concrete trucks were supposed to
have nine cubic yards capacity; tailors were supposed to use
nine yards of material for top quality suits (see 'dressed to
the nines'). And there are a couple of naval references too
(the latter one certainly a less likely origin because the
expression is not recorded until the second half of the 20th
century): nine naval shipyards, or alternatively nine
yardarms: (large sailing ships had three masts, each with
three yardarms) giving a full sailing strength based on the
unfurled sails of nine yard arms.
dressed up to the nines - wearing very smart or elaborate
clothes - the expression dates from 17th century England,
originally meaning dressed to perfection from head to foot.
Dressed up to the nines is one of many references to the
number nine as a symbol of perfection, superlative, and
completeness, originating from ancient Greek, Pythagorean
theory: man is a full chord, ie, eight; and deity (Godliness)
comes next. Three represents the Trinity, twice three is the
perfect dual, and thrice three, ie, nine, represents the
'perfect plural'. The representation of divine perfection was
strengthened by various other images, including: Deucalion's
Ark, made on the advice of Prometheus, was tossed for nine
days before being stranded on the top of Mount Parnassus;
the Nine Earths (Milton told of 'nine enfolded spheres'); the

Nine Heavens; the Nine Muses; Southern Indians worshipped
the Nine Serpents, a cat has nine lives, etc, etc. The Old
English 'then eyen', meaning 'to the eyes' might also have
contributed to the early establishment of the expression. The
notion that tailors used nine yards of material to make a suit
or a shirt, whether correct or not, also will have reinforced
the usage.
nip and tuck - a closely fought contest or race, with the
lead or ascendency frequently changing - explanations as to
the origin of this expression are hard to find, apparently
because there are so many different possible meanings for
each of the two words. I reckon it's quite simple: the nip and
tuck expression equates to 'blow-for blow', whereby nip and
tuck are based on the old aggressive meanings of each
word: nip means pinch or suddenly bite, (as it has done for
centuries all over Europe, in various forms), and tuck meant
stab (after the small narrow sword or dirk called a tuck, used
by artillerymen). The aggressive connotation of tuck would
also have been reinforced by older meanings from various
Old English, Dutch and German roots; 'togian' (pull or tow),
'tucian' (mistreat, torment), and 'zucken' (jerk or tug). While
the individual meanings of nip and tuck are listed separately
by Brewer in 1870, the full expression isn't listed, so it was
unlikely to have been in use at that time. It's not possible to
say precisely who first coined the phrase, just as no-one
knows who first said 'blow-for-blow'.
(that pre-date by hundreds of years the modern menaing of
tuck, as in fold or pleat or push into a tight space
there ain't no such thing as a free lunch - you never get
something for nothing - now a common business expression,
often used in acronym form 'TANSTAAFL', the first recorded
use of this version was by Robert Heinlein in his 1966 book
'The moon is a harsh mistress'. The general expression
'there's no such thing as a free lunch' dates back to the
custom of America 19th century bars giving free snacks in
expectation of customers buying drink. American economist
Milton Friedman, who won the 1976 Nobel prize for

economics, did much to popularise the expression in that
form and even used it as a title for one of his books.
nonce - slang term used in prison particularly for a sex
offender - derived supposedly from (or alternatively leading
to) the acronym term 'Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise',
chalked above a culprit's cell door by prison officers,
meaning that the prisoner should be kept apart from others
for his own safety. Alternatively, the acronym came after the
word, which was derived as a shortening of 'a little bit of
nonsense' being a prison euphemism for the particular
offence. (An unrelated meaning, nonce is also an old English
word meaning 'particular purpose or occasion', as in 'for the
nonce', in this sense derived via mistaken division of the
older English expression 'for then anes', meaning 'for the
particular occasion', rather like the modern expression 'a
one-off'.)
in a nutshell - drastically reduced or summarised - from a
series of idiotic debates (possibly prompted as early as 77
AD by Latin writer Pliny the Elder in his book Historia
Naturalis), that seem to have occurred in the early 19th
century as to the feasibility of engraving or writing great
long literary works (for example Homer's Iliad and the Koran)
in such tiny form and on such a small piece of parchment
that each would fit into the shell of a common-sized nut. One
chap, George Marsh, claimed to have seen the entire Koran
on a parchment roll measuring four inches by half and inch.
off-hand - surprisingly unpleasant (describing someone's
attitude) - evolved from the older expression when 'off-hand'
meant 'unprepared', which derived from its logical opposite,
'in-hand' used to describe something that was 'in
preparation'.
okay (OK) - Okay is one of the most commonly sought and
debated expressions origins. 'OK' and 'okay' almost certainly
had different origins, although the meanings were all similar
and now have completely converged. There are various
sources of both versions, which perhaps explains why the
term is so widely established and used:

The first publicly acknowledged recorded use of 'OK'
was by or associated with Andrew Jackson, 7th US
President from 1829-37, to mean 'Orl Korrect', possibly
attributed in misspelt form to him mocking his early
lack of education.
The first use of 'OK' in print was in the Boston Morning
Post of 23 March 1839 by CG Green, as a reference to
'Old Kinderhook', the nickname for Martin Van Buren, (a
favourite of and successor to Jackson), who was 8th US
President from 1837-41, whose home town was
Kinderbrook, New York.
The African US slave languages 'Ewe' and 'Wolof' both
contained the word 'okay' to mean 'good'. Slavery in
the US effectively began in 1620 and lasted until 1863,
so this was certainly an early American origin of the
term.
Probably even pre-dating this was the derivation of the
term 'okay', meaning good, from the native American
Choctow language.
The American anecdotal explanation of railroad clerk
Obidiah Kelly marking every parcel that he handled with
his initials is probably not true, nevertheless the myth
itself helped establish the term.
Perhaps just as tenuously, from the early 1800's the
French term 'Aux Quais', meaning 'at or to the quays'
was marked on bales of cotton in the Mississippi River
ports, as a sign of the bale being handled or processed
and therefore 'okayed'. (The modern-day French public
notice 'acces aux quais', means to the trains.)
In a similar vein, women-folk of French fishermen
announced the safe return of their men with the
expression 'au quai' (meaning 'back in port', or literally
'at the quayside'). (Ack DH)
The expression '0 Killed' was a standard report on the
night's fatalities during the First World War, 1914-18.

In Europe, The Latin term 'Omnes Korrectes' was
traditionally marked on students test papers to mean
'all correct'.
The Greek 'ola kala' means 'all is well'. The Finnish
'oikea' means correct. Scottish 'och aye' means 'yes' or
'for sure' (from the Scottish pronunciation of 'oh, aye',
aye being old English for yes).
In the Victorian era, during the British occupation of
India, the natives could not speak English very well, so
"all correct" sounded like "orl krect". This was soon
shortened to OK, hence our modern usage of the term.
(Ack. Philip Holbourn)
If you know any other origin of OK or okay please
contact us and we'll add it to the list.
mind your p's and q's/watch your p's and q's - behave
cautiously or properly, mind what you say (normally in the
presence of one's betters) - 1870 Brewer suggests that this
expression's most likely origin is from French etiquette in the
reign of Louis XIV (1638-1715), when bowing was used as a
formal acknowledgement, involving a step with the feet
('pieds' in French) and a low bow of the body when care had
to be taken to avoid wigs ('queues' in French) from falling off,
hence the cautionary warning to 'mind your steps and wigs',
ie 'pieds et queues', which became p's and q's. This origin
includes the aspect of etiquette and so is probably the
primary source of the expression. Alternatively, and perhaps
additionally, from the time when ale was ordered in pints or
quarts (abbreviated to p's and q's) and care was needed to
order properly - presumably getting them mixed up could
cause someone to over-indulge and therefore behave badly.
Another possible contributing origin is likely to have been the
need for typesetters to take care when setting 'p's and 'q's
because of the ease of mistaking one for another. This would
be a stronger candidate for the main root of the expression if
errors involving p and q substitution led to rude words
appearing in print, but it is hard to think of any examples,

given that the letters p and q do not seem to be pivotally
interchangeable in any rude words.
plummet/plumber/plumb (..worn out or gone) - to fall
sharply/water and drainage pipeworker/downright - originally
from Latin 'plumbum' meaning lead, from which origin also
derives 'plumb' meaning lead weight (used for depth
soundings and plumbing a straight vertical line with a plumb-
bob, a lead weight on a line), and the chemical symbol for
the lead element, Pb.
the proof of the pudding is in the eating - you can only
tell how good something is by actually experiencing it or
putting it to its intended use - the full expression is thought
by at least a couple of etymologists to date back to the 13th
or 14th century (Cevza Zerkel says 13th, James Rogers says
14th). One of the common modern corruptions, 'the proof is
in the pudding' carries the same meaning today, although
this shortened form is quite an illogical distortion. The other
common derivation, '(something will be) the proof of the
pudding' (to describe the use or experience of something
claimed to be effective) makes more sense. The expression
in its various forms is today considered to be one of the most
widely and often used proverbs. In late-middle-age England
pudding was more likely a type of sausage, and proof
singularly meant 'test of ', rather than today's normal
alternative interpretation: 'evidence of'. The expression
almost certainly developed in England, where the word
'pudding' was used more commonly than elsewhere, notably
than in the US, where the expression didn't appear until 18th
C. The expression is likely to have had various national roots
that converged over time to give us today's term, for
instance, a form of the full expression apparently featured in
the satirical epic poem 'Le Lutrin', written in 1682 or 83 by
Nicolas Boileau-Despereaux, French poet and critic (1636-
1711), translated then from French thus: 'The proof of th'
pudding's seen i' th' eating' (says Rogers).
pour oil on troubled waters - calm difficult matters -
according to Brewer in 1870 this is from a story written by

the Venerable Bede in 735, relating the 7th century exploits
of St Aidan, who apparently provided a young priest with a
pot of oil just in case the sea got rough on his return journey
after escorting a young maiden to wed a certain King Oswin
of Oswy. The sea did get rough, the priest did pour on the oil,
and the sea did calm, and it must be true because Brewer
says that the Venerable Bede said he heard the story from 'a
most creditable man in holy orders'. (As an aside, in his work
'Perfect Storm', Sebastian Junger argues that pouring oil on
water actually makes matters worse: he states that pollution
is responsible for an increase in the size of waves in storms.
Apparently, normal healthy algae create a smoothing,
lubricating effect on the surface of sea water. Suppressing
the algae with pollution reduces the lubricating action,
resulting in a rougher surface, which enables the wind to grip
and move the water into increasingly larger wave
formations. Ack. Brian McNee)
over a barrel - powerless to resist - people rescued from
drowning were draped head-down over a barrel in the hope
of forcing water from the lungs.
beyond the pale - behaviour outside normal accepted
limits - In the 14th century Pale meant the area owned by an
authority, such as a cathedral, and specifically the 'English
Pale' described Irish land ruled by England, beyond which
was considered uncivilised, and populated by barbarians.
The Pale also described a part of Russia to which Jews were
confined. This territorial meaning of Pale derives from its
earlier meaning for a pointed wooden stake used for fencing,
or the boundary itself, from the French 'pal' and latin 'pallus'.
pamphlet - paper leaflet or light booklet - most likely from a
Greek lady called Pamphila, whose main work was a book of
notes and anecdotes (says 1870 Brewer). Alternatively, or
maybe also and converging from the French 'par un filet'
meaning 'held by a thread' (says Dr Samuel Johnson circa
1755).
panacea - cure or solution for wide-ranging problem -
evolved from the more literal meaning 'universal cure', after

Panacea the daughter of Esculapios, the God of medicine,
and derived originally from the Greek words 'pan akomai',
which meant 'all I cure'.
paraphernalia - personal belongings, or accessories,
equipment associated with a trade or hobby - original
meaning from Roman times described the possessions
(furniture, clothes, jewellery, etc) that a widow could claim
from her husband's estate beyond her share of land,
property and financial assets. Derived from the Greek,
'parapherne' meaning 'beyond dower' (dower meaning a
widow's share of her husband's estate).
pay through the nose - reluctantly have to pay too much -
from the 9th century house tax imposed on the Irish by the
Danes, called the Nose Tax because anyone who avoided
paying their ounce of gold had his nose slit.
peeping tom - someone who secretly looks at others in a
private state of undress or intimacy - from the story of Lady
Godiva, who in 1040 rode naked through the streets of
Coventry in response to her husband, Leofric, imposing a
new harsh tax on the townsfolk (he'd said that he would
withdraw the tax if she rode naked from one end of town to
the other). The townsfolk agreed not to look and moreover
that anyone who did should be executed. A tailor,
presumably called Tom, was said to have peeped, and had
his eyes put out as a result. Leofric withdrew the tax.
keep you pecker up - be happy in the face of adversity -
'pecker' simply meant 'mouth' ('peck' describes various
actions of the mouth - eat, kiss, etc, and peckish means
hungry); the expression is more colourful than simply saying
'keep your head up'.
pen - writing instrument - from Latin 'penna' meaning
'feather'; old quill pens, before fountain pens and ballpens,
were made of a single feather.
pick holes - determinedly find lots of faults - from an earlier
English expression 'to pick a hole in someone's coat' which

meant to concentrate on a small fault in a person who was
largely good.
pig in a poke - something sub-standard that is bought
without proper examination - from the country trick of a
putting a cat in a bag to pass it off as a suckling pig; 'poke' is
an old English word for bag, from the French 'poche' for bag
or pocket. See also 'let the cat out of the bag'.
pigs might fly - sardonic reference to the highly unlikely -
whilst there's no generally acknowledged origin, this
expression probably derives from from Lewis Carroll's 1872
'Through The Looking Glass', when the ridiculous notion of a
flying pig is clearly established: 'The time has come' the
walrus said, To talk of many things: Of shoes - and ships -
and sealing wax, Of cabbages - and kings - And why the sea
is boiling hot - And whether pigs have wings..' (1870 Brewer
doesn't mention the 'pigs might fly' expression although
other pig-related expressions are mentioned - suggesting
that the expression developed after 1870, consistent with
the Lewis Carroll source).
pin money - very little or unimportant earnings usually from
a small job - the expression originated from when pins were
not commonly available (pins were invented in the 14th
century); the custom was for pin-makers to offer them for
general sale only on 1st and 2nd January. Upper-class women
would be given an allowance by their husbands to buy the
pins. Amazing but true. (Brewer says so.)
from pillar to post - having to go to lots of places, probably
unwillingly or unnecessarily - from the metaphor of a riding
school, when horses were ridden in and around a ring which
contained a central pillar, and surrounding posts in pairs.
pipe dream - unrealistic hope or scheme - the 'pipe dream'
metaphor originally alluded to the fanciful notions of an
opium drug user. The pipe dream expression can be traced
back to the late 19th century in print, although it was likely
to have been in use in speech for some years prior. It was
most certainly a reference opium pipe smoking, which was

fashionable among hedonists and the well-to-do classes of
the 18th and 19th century. Much of Samuel Coleridge's
poetry was opium fuelled, notably Kubla Kahn, 1816.
Someone who was under the influence or addicted to opium
was said to be 'on the pipe'.
pipped at the post - defeated at the last moment - while
the full expression is not surprisingly from horse-racing
(defeated at the winning post), the origin of the 'pip' element
is the most interesting part. Pip is an old slang expression for
defeat, and here's how: it's derived from the term 'blackball',
meaning to deny access - originally to a club - or to shun (ie
defeat). The traditional club membership voting method
(which Brewer says in 1870 is old-fashioned, so the practice
was certainly mid-19th C or earlier) was for members to
place either a black ball (against) or a red or white ball (for)
in a box or bag. The balls were counted and if there were
more blacks than reds or whites then the membership
application was denied - the prospective new member was
'blackballed'. The black ball was called a pip (after the pip of
a fruit, in turn from earlier similar words which meant the
fruit itself, eg pippin, and the Greek, pepe for melon), so
pipped became another way or saying blackballed or
defeated.
placebo - treatment with no actual therapeutic content
(used as a control in tests or as an apparent drug to satisfy a
patient) - from the Latin word placebo meaning 'I shall
please'. Placebo was first used from about 1200, in a non-
medical sense to mean an act of flattery or servility. The
modern medical meaning of an inactive substance - usually a
pill - used as a control in drug tests began in the 1950's. The
use of placebo to describe a phantom treatment began in
the mid-1800's (as a means of satisfying a demanding
patient), and since then amazingly the use of a placebos for
this purpose has been proven to actually benefit the patient
in between 30-60% of cases (for illnesses ranging from
arthritis to depression), demonstrating the healing power of
a person's own mind, and the power of positive thinking. This
'real' effect of placebos ironically is at odds with the

'phantom' inference now commonly inferred from the word,
but not with its original 'I shall please' meaning. A placebo
may be empty of active ingredients, but it is certainly not
empty of effect. This contrasts with the recently identified
and proven 'nocebo' effect (nocebo is Latin for 'I shall harm'):
the 'nocebo' term has been used by psychological
researchers since the 1960's to help explain the power of
negative thinking on health and life expectancy. Placebos
help people to feel better and so they get better, whereas
the nocebo effect, in which patients continually tell
themselves and others how ill they are, actually makes
people more ill. The motto (and fact) is: Think well, be well;
think sick, be sick.
plain sailing - easy - from 17-18th century, originally 'plane
sailing', the term for a quick method of navigating short
distances, when positions and distances could be plotted as
if on a flat plane rather than a curved surface.
pop goes the weasel - final line from each of the verses of
the old Victorian London song and earlier a dance based on
the phrase 'Pop goes the weasel' - several different versions
and words exist for the song, although certain elements are
constant, notably 'Up and down the City Road, In an out the
Eagle' (City Road is still a main road in the City of London;
The Eagle was an East London pub) and the most famous
lines 'Half a pound of tuppeny rice, Half a pound of treacle,
That's the way the money goes, Pop goes the weasel.' The
metaphor supported the image of having no money left,
chiefly due to drinking, and tells a story of Victorian London
working class poverty: Pop meant pawn (trade something for
cash at a pawnbrokers); the 'weasel' could be any of the
following: the iron (used to iron clothes, and commonly
pawned - 'popped' - by factory workers to raise cash); other
etymologists say that weasel is a corruption of cockney
rhyming slang 'whistle' (meaning suit, as in 'whistle and
flute'), and others favour it being cockney rhyming slang for
coat (as in weasel and stoat). Whatever, it's a fascinating
expression with fascinating origins.

posh - upper-class - Popularly and romantically thought to
be an acronym from 'Port Out, Starboard Home', relating to
the more expensive cooler shade-side cabin positions on
passenger ships sailing from England to India, 19th/early
20th century, although sadly this origin is not fully endorsed
by etymologists due to lack of evidence, and is notably
rejected by historian and etymologist George Chowdharay-
Best in his article, 'POSH', in Mariner's Mirror, issue 57 pp 91-
2, January 1971. Others have suggested the POSH cabins
derived from transatlantic voyages (UK to USA) whose
wealthy passengers preferred the sun both ways. Some even
suggest the acronym was printed on P&O's tickets, who
operated the sailings to India. More likely is that the 'port out
starboard home' tale effectively reinforced and aided the
establishment of the word, which was probably initially
derived from 1830's British usage of posh for money, in turn
from an earlier meaning of posh as a half-penny, possibly
from Romany posh meaning half. In any event the word posh
seems to have been in use meaning a dandy or smartly
dressed fellow by 1890. (Thanks I Girvan for contributions to
this).
pull out all the stops - apply best effort - from the
metaphor of pulling out all the stops on an organ, which
would increase the volume.
pun - a humorous use of a word with two different meanings
- according to modern dictionaries the origin of the word pun
is not known for certain. It's a short form of two longer words
meaning the same as the modern pun, punnet and
pundigrion, the latter probably from Italian pundiglio,
meaning small or trivial point. Pun in its modern form came
into use in the 17th century. 1870 Brewer says it's from
Welsh, meaning equivalent. The expression 'no pun
intended' is generally used as a sort of apology after one
makes a serious statement which accidentally includes a
pun.
puss - cat - earlier in England puss meant cat, or hare or
rabbit. It derives from the Irish 'pus', for cat. In the old poem

about the race between the hare and the tortoise, the hare is
referred to by his adversary as 'puss'.
pyrrhic victory - a win with such heavy cost as to amount
to a defeat - after Pyrrhus, Greek king of Epirus who in
defeating the Romans at Asculum in 279 BC suffered such
losses that he commented 'one more such victory and
Pyrrhus is undone'.
Q.E.D. - as proven here - from the Latin 'quod erat
demonstrandum', which literally means 'thus we have
proved the proposition stated above as we were required to
do'. Originally used by Greek mathematician Euclid, c.300
BC, when he appended the letters to his geometric
theorems. He also used Q.E.F. ('quod erat faciendum') which
meant 'thus we have drawn the figure required by the
proposition'; for some reason this failed to come into any
general use at all...
quack - incompetent or fake doctor - from 'quack salver'
which in the 19th century and earlier meant 'puffer of salves'
(puff being old English for extravagant advertising, and salve
being a healing ointment). Probably directly derived from
German (quacksalber). Similar phrases existed in Dutch
(quacken salf), Norweigian (qvak salver), and Swedish (qvak
salfeare). Quacken was also old English for 'prattle'. 'Salve'
originated from the Latin 'salvia' (meaning the herb 'sage'),
which was a popular remedy in medieval times (5-15th
century).
quid - one pound sterling - from the Latin expression 'quid
pro quo' (something in exchange for something).
rabbit - talk a lot - see cockney rhyming slang.
rag, tag and bob-tail - riff-raff, or disreputable people, also
the name of the 1960's children's animated TV show about a
hedgehog mouse, and rabbit (see this great link - thanks Vic
Hill) - the derivation explains partly why the expression was
used for a TV show about three cute animals: in early
English, a 'rag' meant a herd of deer at rutting time; a 'tag'
was a doe between one and two years old; and a 'bobtail'

was a fawn just weaned (not a rabbit). The expression when
originally used to mean a group of disreputable people was
actually 'tag, rag and bobtail'; the order changed during the
20th century, and effectively disappeared from use after the
TV show.
take a rain check - postpone something - many believe this
derives from the modern English meaning of 'check' (ie
'consider', or 'think about'), and so the expression is growing
more to mean 'I'll think about it', but the original meaning
stems from its derivation, which was from the custom
started in 19th century America for vouchers to be issued to
paying baseball spectators in the event of rain, which they
would use for admission to the rearranged game.
raining cats and dogs - torrential rainfall - various different
origins, all contributing to the strength of the expression
today. The expression has been around for hundreds of
years, appearing in the work of many writers (including
Swift, Thackery and Shelley) since the first recorded use by
English playwright Richard Brome in 1653, when in 'The City
Wit' when he wrote '...it shall raine dogs and polecats..'
(Quite why he cited polecats (more like ferrets) instead of
cats we'll never know..... Contributory origins as follows
(much referenced by Brewer in 1870, which shows they were
just as confused about origins then as now..):
Inefficient sewerage and drainage systems of 17th
century England apparently used to flood and throw up
all sorts of debris during a heavy downpour, including
dead cats and dogs, giving the impression that the
animals had fallen with the rain. (This not from Brewer,
but various other etymological references.)
There were many ancient North European mythological
imagery and expressions associating cats and dogs with
the weather, storms, wind and rain, which will
undoubtedly have contributed to the development of
the modern day expression. Cats symbolised rain, and
dogs the wind. Cats particularly figure weather and rain
metaphors, including witches riding on storms taking

the form of cats; sailor's terms relating cats to wind and
gales; the stormy North-West wind in Northern
Germany's mountainous Harz region was called the
'cat's nose'. Dogs and wolves have long been a symbol
of the wind, and both animals accompanied Odin the
storm god. Old German mythology showed pictures of a
roaring dog's or wolf's head to depict the wind. (Brewer)
There is certainly a sound-alike association root: the
sound of heavy rain on windows or a tin roof could be
cats claws, and howling wind is obviously like the noise
of dogs and wolves. These would certainly also have
contributed to the imagery described in the previous
paragraph.
Some etymologists argue the root is from a phonetic
association or mis-translation from the French
'catadoupe', meaning waterfall - this is most unlikely to
be a single cause, but it could have helped to some
degree in forming the interpretation. (Brewer)
Amusingly and debatably: In 1500's England it was
customary for pet cats and dogs to be kept in the
thatched (made of reeds) roof-space of people's houses.
When it rained heavily the animals would be first
affected by leaking roofs and would hurriedly drop or
fall down to the lower living space, giving rise to the
expression, 'raining cats and dogs'.
read the riot act - to rebuke strongly - from the Riot Act of
1716, whose terms stated that a group of twelve or more
people must disperse if someone in authority read a portion
of the act out loud to them. Apparently it was only repealed
in 1973.
caught red-handed - caught in the act of doing something
wrong, or immediately afterwards with evidence showing, so
that denial is pointless - the expression 'caught red-handed'
has kept a consistent meaning for well over a hundred years
(Brewer lists it in 1870). It's based simply on the metaphor of
a murderer being caught with blood still on their hands, and

therefore would date back probably to the days even before
guns, when to kill another person would have involved the
use of a direct-contact weapon like a dagger or club. The
red-handed image is straightforward enough to have evolved
from common speech, that is to say, there's unlikely to have
been one single quote that originated the expression.
red herring - a distraction initially appearing significant -
from the metaphor of dragging a red (smoked) herring
across the trail of a fox to throw the hounds off the fox's
scent.
red-letter day - a special day - saints days and holidays
were printed in red as opposed to the normal black in
almanacs and diaries.
red sky at night, shepherd's/sailor's delight; red sky
in the morning, shepherd's/sailor's warning - while the
expression's origins are commonly associated with sailing,
the first use actually appears in the Holy Bible, Matthew
16:2-3, when Jesus says to the Pharisees, upon being asked
to show a sign from heaven: He answered and said unto
them "When it is evening, ye say, 'it will be fair weather: for
the sky is red.' And in the morning, 'It will be foul weather
today: for the sky is red and lowering.' Oh ye hypocrites, ye
can discern the face of the sky, but ye cannot discern the
signs of the times..." This is firm evidence that the
expression was in use two thousand years ago. Over time
the expression has been attributed to sailors or shepherds,
because their safety and well-being are strongly influenced
by the weather. The theory behind the expression, which
would have underpinned its very earliest usage, is based on
the following: In the northern hemisphere, significantly north
of the tropics, and notably Europe, prevailing winds are from
the east. A red sky occurs when the sun sets or rises close to
clouds, which would therefore be on the horizon. For a red
sky to appear at night, ie., sunset, the clouds and any
associated storm system are to the west, and likely to be
moving away, assuming a prevailing easterly wind. A red sky
in the morning is produced by clouds in the east, which will

be moving towards you, again assuming prevailing easterly
winds.
no/neither rhyme nor reason - a plan or action that does
not make sense - originally meant 'neither good for
entertainment nor instruction'. Thomas More (Henry VIII's
chancellor 1529-32) received a book manuscript and
suggested the author turn it into rhyme. On seeing the
revised draft More noted the improvement saying 'tis rhyme
now, but before it was neither rhyme nor reason'.
riff-raff - common people - originally meant 'rags and
sweepings' from Anglo-Saxon 'rief' meaning rag, and 'raff'
meaning sweepings.
ride roughshod over - to severely dominate or override
something or someone - a 'roughshod' horse had nails
protruding from the horseshoes, for better grip or to enable
cavalry horses to inflict greater damage.
ring of truth/ring true - sounds or seems believable - from
the custom of testing whether coins were genuine by
bouncing on a hard surface; forgeries not made of the proper
precious metal would sound different to the real thing. 'Ring'
is from the Anglo-Saxon 'hring-an', meaning ring a bell.
when in Rome... (....do as the Romans do) - (when in a
strange or different situation) it's best to behave (even if
badly) like those around you - a great example of why these
expressions endure for thousands of years: they are
extremely efficient descriptions; they cram so much meaning
into so few words. This expression originates from the Bible,
when St Ambrose answers a question from St Augustine
about what day he should fast, as different customs prevail
in different cities. St Ambrose replies 'When I am in Milan, I
do as they do in Milan; but when I go to Rome, I do as Rome
does'.
pass/cross the rubicon - commit to the point of no return -
the Rubicon was a river separating ancient Italy from
Cisalpine Gaul, which was allotted to Julius Caesar. When

Caesar took his army across the river in 49 BC he effectively
invaded Italy. See also 'the die is cast'.
rubric - written instructions or explanation - from Latin
'rubrica' meaning the colour vermilion (red); adopted by the
Romans to mean an 'ordinance' or 'law' because it was
written in red.
rule of thumb - general rule - from an old English law which
mede it illegal for a man to beat his wife with anything
thicker than the width of his thumb.
sackbut - trombone - similar expressions developed in
French (saquebutte), Spanish (sacabuche) and Portuguese
(saquebuxo), all based on the original Latin 'sacra buccina'
meaning 'sacred trumpet'.
take something with a grain of salt, or pinch of salt (a
statement or story) - expression of scepticism or disbelief
- originally from the Latin, Cum Grano Salis, which is many
hundreds, and probably a couple of thousand years old. The
expression appears in its Latin form in Brewer's dictionary
phrase and fable in 1870 and is explained thus: 'Cum grano
salis. With great limitation; with its grain of salt, or truth. As
salt is sparingly used in condiments, so is the truth in the
remark just made.' This is a slightly different interpretation
of origin from the common modern etymologists' view, that
the expression derives from the metaphor whereby a little
salt improves the taste of the food - meaning that a grain of
salt is required to improve the reliability or quality of the
story.
Interestingly, for the phrase to appear in 1870 Brewer in
Latin form indicates to me that it was not at that stage
adopted widely in its English translation version. Other
etymologists suggest that the English 'with a grain of salt'
first appeared in print in 1647, but I doubt the Latin form was
completely superseded in general use until later in the 19th
century. It is also said that etymologist Christine Ammer
traced the expression back to the Roman General Pompey's
theory that a certain antidote to poison had to be taken with

a small amount of salt to be effective, which was recorded by
Pliny in 77 AD (some years after Pompey's death in 48 BC).
Pliny used the expression 'cum grano salis' to describe the
antidote procedure, and may even have used the expression
to imply scepticism back then - we'll never know. This story,
like any others surrounding word and expression origins,
would certainly have contributed to the expression's early
usage and popularity.
Salt is a powerful icon and is well used in metaphors - The
Austrian city Salzburg was largely built from the proceeds of
the nearby salt mines. The superstition of regarding spilled
salt as unlucky dates back to the last supper, and specifically
Leonardo da Vinci's painting which shows the treacherous
Judas Iscariot having knocked over the salt cellar. Other salt
expressions include 'salt of the earth' (a high quality person),
'worth (or not worth) his salt' (worth the expense of the food
he eats or the salt he consumes, or worth his wage - salt was
virtually a currency thousands of years ago, and at some
stage Roman soldiers were actually partly-paid in salt, which
gave rise to the word 'salary' - see below). A lovely old
expression now fallen out of use was 'to sit above the salt',
meaning to occupy a place of distinction, from the old
custom of important dinner guests sitting between the
centre-placed salt cellar and the head of the table). Even the
word 'cellar, as in salt-cellar, is derived from the word salt -
it's from the Latin 'sal', and later Anglo-Norman 'saler', and
then to late Middle-English 'celer', which actually came to
mean 'salt container', later to be combined unnecessarily
with salt again (ack Georgia at Random House). As with all
expressions, popularity and sustainability are more likely if
the imagery is evocatively very strong and commonly
understood, and this clearly applies in the case of 'with a
grain of salt'.
See also the detail about biblical salt covenants in the 'worth
his salt' origins below. Direct connection isn't clear, but some
influence from the covenant practice cannot be discounted.

worth his salt - a valued member of the team - salt has
long been associated with a man's worth, since it used to be
a far more valuable commodity than now (the Austrian city
of Salzburg grew almost entirely from the wealth of its salt
mines). The expression originates as far back as Roman
times when soldiers' pay was given in provisions, including
salt. The modern day version probably grew from the one
Brewer references in 1870, 'true to his salt', meaning 'faithful
to his employer'. Additionally, there may be roots back to the
time of biblical covenants, one in particular called the salt
covenant: men back in those days would carry sacks or bags
filled with salt for many different reasons. When men wanted
to come into covenant with each other (for a bond,
agreement, lifelong friendship, etc) they would take a pinch
of their own salt and put it in the other person's bag of salt.
This signified the bond and that once done, it could not be
undone, since it was customary to shake the bags to mix the
salt and therefore make retrieval - or retraction of the
agreement - impossible. (Ack Preston)
salad days - youthful, inexperienced times (looked back on
with some fondness) - from Shakespeare's Anthony and
Cleopatra; Cleopatra says 'My salad days, when I was green
in judgement, cold in blood, to say as I said then'.
sandwich - (the snack) - most will know that the sandwich is
named after the Earl of Sandwich, 17th century, who ordered
a piece of meat between two slices of bread so as not to
have to interrupt another marathon card-playing session; the
practice of eating in this way was not invented by Sandwich
though, it dates back to Roman times.
satan - the devil - satan means 'the enemy' in Hebrew.
scapegoat - a person blamed for a problem - from the
ancient Jewish annual custom, whereby two goats were
brought before the alter of the tabernacle (place of worship)
by the high priest on the Day of Atonement. Lots were drawn
to determine which goat should be sacrificed. The surviving
goat then had the sins of the priest and the people
transferred to it by the priest's confession, after which it was

taken into the wilderness and allowed to escape, hence
'scapegoat' ('scape' was a middle English abbreviation of
'escape' which is still a word but has disappeared from use).
scarper - run away - see cockney rhyming slang
up to scratch - meets the required standard - from the
custom of scratching a line in the ground as a starting point
for prize fighters, meaning that the contestants were ready
and in the required position; the expression in earlier times
was 'up to the scratch'.
sea change - big significant change - from Shakespeare's
The Tempest, when Ariel sings, 'Full fathom five thy father
lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were
his eyes, Nothing of him that doth fade, But doth suffer a
sea-change, into something rich and strange, Sea-nymphs
hourly ring his knell, Ding-dong. Hark! now I hear them, ding-
dong, bell'.
shit - various slang meanings - some subscribe to this
fascinating derivation of the modern slang word: In the 16th
and 17th centuries most cargo was transported by ship. At
this time, manure was the common fertiliser. The manure
was shipped dry to reduce weight, however when at sea if it
became wet the manure fermented and produced the
flammable methane gas, which created a serious fire hazard.
The practice logically evolved of stowing manure high in the
ship to keep it as dry as possible, with the result that the
request to 'Ship High In Transit' became a standard shipping
instruction for manure cargo, allegedly... (Ack JK)
It is perhaps not suprising that the derivation can actually be
traced back to less interesting and somewhat earlier origins;
from Old English scite and Middle Low German schite, both
meaning dung, and Old English scitte meaning diarrhoea, in
use as early as the 1300's.
shoddy - poor quality - 'shoddy' originally was the fluff
waste thrown off or 'shod' (meaning jettisoned or cast off,
rather like shed) during the textile weaving process. The
word then became the name of the material produced from

fluff mixed with wool, or a material made from recycled
garments. The early use of the expression was to describe a
person of dubious or poor character.
shoplift - steal from a shop - 'lift' derives from the Gothic
'hlifan', meaning to steal, originally from Latin 'levo', to
disburden.
silly - daft - originally from the German 'selig' meaning
'blessed' or 'holy', which was the early meaning of silly. The
modern meaning developed because holy people were often
considered gullible due to their innocence, therefore the
meaning changed into 'foolish'. Interestingly, the 'silly
season' originally described the time when newspapers
resorted to filling their pages with nonsense while Parliament
was in Summer recess, just as they still do today.
nothing to sneeze at/not to be sneezed at - okay, not so
bad, passable, nothing to be disliked - the expression was in
use late 19thC and probably earlier. 1870 Brewer explains
that the expression evolved from the use of the word snuff in
a similar sense. 'Up to snuff' meant sharp or keenly aware,
from the idea of sniffing something or 'taking it in snuff' as a
way of testing its quality. Shakespeare used the expression
more than once in his plays, notably in Love's Labour's Lost,
"You'll mar the light by taking it in snuff..." Snuff in this sense
is from old Northern European langauges such as Dutch and
Danish, where respectively snuffen and snofte meant to
scent or sniff.
son of a gun - an expression of surprise, particularly about
somebody's action - although now an expression of surprise
("I'll be a son of a gun"), 'son of a gun' was originally a naval
expression with two distinctly different meanings, each at
least 150 years old: Firstly, a boy born from the union of a
woman and sailor (of dubious or unknown identity) when the
sailor's ship was in port. The suggestion was that the boy
was conceived on board ship on the gun deck in seedy
circumstances; the identity of the boy's father was not
known, hence the boy was the 'son of a gun' - an insult to
the mother as much as anything. Secondly, the expression

referred to a boy born at sea, specifically on the gun deck.
This meaning of the term was established in British Admiral
William Henry Smyth's 'Sailor's Word Book' of 1865, when he
described the expression: "An epithet applied to boys born
afloat, when women were permitted to accompany their
husbands to sea; one admiral declared he was thus cradled,
under the breast of a gun carriage." The rhyming aspect, as
with other expressions, would have helped establish the
term into common use. It's also an alternative and seemingly
more polite variation to the 'son of a bitch' term, although
when you know the real history of 'son of a gun' it's arguably
more insulting.
sour grapes - when someone is critical of something
unobtainable - from Aesop's fable about the fox who tried
unsuccessfully to reach some grapes, and upon giving up
says they were sour anyway.
gone south, went south - failed (plan, business or
financial venture) - almost certainly derived from the South
Sea Scheme, also called the South Sea Bubble, stock scheme
devised by Sir John Blunt from 1710-1720, which was based
on buying out the British National Debt via investors paying
100 for a stake in exclusive South Seas trading rights. The
shares soon increased in value by ten times, but 'the bubble
burst' in 1720 and ruined thousands of people. The
expression would have been further reinforced by the similar
French scheme 1717-1720, based on paying the French
national Debt, then totalling 208m, started by John Law, a
Scot, which promised investors exclusive trading rights to
Louisiana, on the banks of the Mississippi, central to USA
southern states cotton trade, and the global textiles industry.
1870 Brewer confirms the South Sea Bubble term was used
to describe any scheme which shows promise and then turns
to ruin. South also has the meaning of moving or travelling
down, which helps the appropriate 'feel' of the expression,
which is often a factor in an expression becoming well
established.
call a spade a spade - (see call a spade a spade under 'C')

speedy gonzales - a very quick person - some might
remember the Warner Brothers Speedy Gonzales cartoon
character; the original Speedy Gonzales was apparently a
Mexican-American film studio animator, so called because of
his regular lunchtime dash for carnal liaison with a girl in the
paint and ink department.
spick and span - completely clean and in a new condition
(normally describing a construction of some sort) - was
originally 'spick and span new', and came from a
shipbuilding metaphor, when a 'spic' was a spike or nail, and
chip a piece of wood. The original expression meant that the
thing was new even down to these small parts.
spinster - unmarried woman - in Saxon times a woman was
not considered fit for marriage until she could spin yarn
properly. Interestingly, and in similar chauvanistic vein, the
word 'wife' derives from the Anglo-Saxon 'wyfan', to weave,
next after spinning in the cloth-making process.
square the circle - attempt the impossible - based on the
mathematical conundrum as to whether a circle can be
made with exactly the same area as a square, the difficulty
arising from the fact that a circle's area involves the formula
'pi', which, while commonly rounded down to 3.14149,
carries on infinitely.
steal someone's thunder - to use the words or ideas of
another person before they have a chance to, especially to
gain the approval of a group or audience - from the story of
playwright John Dennis who invented a way of creating the
sound of thunder for the theatre for his play Appius and
Virginia in 1709. The play flopped but his thunder effect was
used without his permission in a production of Macbeth.
Dennis was said to have remarked 'They will not let my play
run, but they steal my thunder'.
stigma - a generally-held poor or distasteful view associated
with something - from the Roman practice of branding
slaves' foreheads; a 'stigma' was the brand mark, and a
'stigmatic' was a branded slave; hence 'stigmatise', which

has come to mean 'give something an unlikeable image'.
Originally from the Greek word 'stigma', a puncture.
stipulate - state terms - from various ancient and medieval
customs when a straw was used in contract-making,
particularly in loan arrangements, and also in feudal England
when the landowner would present the tenant with a broken
straw to signify the ending of a contract. 'Stipula' is Latin for
a straw.
strafe - to shoot from the air at something on the ground -
from the German World War I motto 'Gott Strafe England'
meaing 'God Punish England'.
strike a bargain - agree terms - from ancient Rome and
Greece when, to conclude a significant agreement, a human
sacrifice was made to the gods called to witness the deal
(the victim was slain by striking in some way).
I swan - 'I swear', or 'I do declare' (an expression of
amazement) - This is an American term, found mostly in the
southern states. The modern spelling is derived from an old
expression going back generations, probably 100-200 years,
originating in East USA, originally constructed as 'Is wan'
(pronounced ize wan), which was a shortening of 'I shall
warrant', used - just like 'I swear' or 'I do declare' - to express
amazement in the same way. Interestingly usage now is
mostly by women - it certainly would not have been many
years ago - perhaps because many now think that the
expression derives from the word 'swoon', which is not a
particularly manly activity.
swing the lead - shirk, skive or avoid work, particularly
while giving the opposite impression - almost certainly from
the naval practice of the 19th century and before, of taking
depth soundings by lowering a lead weight on the end of a
rope over the side of a ship. (According to etymologist
Michael Quinion, the lead lump weighed nine pounds and
had tallow - grease - on its base, which also enabled a sea
bed sample to be brought up from below; the rope had
colour coded markers to help gauge the depth.) It seems

entirely logical that the impression would have stemmed
from the practice of time-wasting while carrying out the
depth soundings: a seaman wishing to prolong the task
unnecessarily or give the impression of being at work when
actually his task was finished, would 'swing the lead'
(probably more like allow it to hang, and not doing anything
purposeful with it) rather than do the job properly. A lead-
swinger is therefore a skiver; someone who avoids work
while pretending to be active.
sycophant - a creepy, toady person who tries to win the
approval of someone, usually in a senior position, through
flattery or ingratiating behaviour - this is a truly wonderful
derivation; from ancient Greece, when Athens law outlawed
the exporting of figs; the law was largely ignored, but certain
people sought to buy favour from the authorities by
informing on transgressors. The informers were called 'suko-
phantes' meaning 'fig-blabbers'. Wonderful...
to a 'T' - exactly (fits to a T, done to a T, suits you to a T,
etc) - Brewer lists this expression in 1870, so it was well
established by then. Apparently from two origins, which
would have strengthened the establishment of the
expression (Brewer only references the latter origin, which
personally I think is the main one): Firstly it's a shortening of
the expression 'to a tittle' which is an old English word for
tiny amount, like jot. Secondly, it is a reference to something
fitting as if measured with a T-square, the instrument used
by carpenters, mechanics and draughtsmen to measure
right-angles.
bring nothing (or something) to the table - offer
nothing (or something) of interest - almost certainly the
expression is a contraction of the original term 'bring nothing
(or something) to the negotiating table'. As such it's nothing
directly to do with food or eating. Someone who brings
nothing to the negotiating table has nothing of interest to
offer the other side or participants, which is precisely what
the modern expression means. Interestingly the word 'table'
features commonly in many other expressions and words,

and being so embedded in people's minds will always help to
establish a phrase, because language and expressions
evolve through common use, which relies on familiarity and
association. Other 'table' terms: 'turn the tables' (from the
practice of turning a backgammon board to reverse players'
positions, and earlier according to Brewer from ancient
Roman male tradition of spending vast amounts on
extravagant tables which drew criticism and a ready retort
from their womenfolk); 'under the table' (meaning drunk,
originally pertaining to the dinner table); plus combinations
we now totally take for granted: tablespoon, table-tennis,
tablecloth, table-wine, table-manners, timetable, times-
tables, and now tables in computer documents - they're all
from the same source originally based on a tablet of stone.
It's a seminal word - the ten commandments were known as
'the two tables' and 'the tables of the law', and the table is
one of the most fundamental images in life, especially for
human interplay; when you think about it we eat, drink, talk,
work, argue, play and relax around a table, so its use in
expressions like this is easy to understand.
tank - heavy armoured fighting vehicle - from the First World
War British code-name that was used for tanks when they
were under development in 1915 and subsequently used
when shipping them around, partly because under canvas
they resembled large water containers, and partly because
such a word was felt would seem reasonable to enemy code-
breakers, given that desert warfare activities would require
large water-containing tanks. According to Bill Bryson's book
Mother Tongue, tanks were developed by the Admiralty, not
the army, which led to the naval terms for certain tank parts,
eg., turret, deck, hatch and hull.
teetotal - abstaining from alcohol - from the early English
tradition for a 'T' (meaning total abstainer) to be added after
the names (presumably on a register of some kind) of people
who had pledged to abstain completely from alcohol.
Similarly, people who had signed the abstinence pledge had
the letters 'O.P.' (for 'Old Pledge') added after their names. If
anyone knows anything about the abstinence pledge from

early English times please tell me. A teetotum from the same
period was an alcohol-free working man's club. Later,
'teetotum' was an American four-sided spinning-top used for
gambling, the meaning derived here from the letter 'T' on
one side which represented the total stake money).
on tenterhooks - very anxious with expectation - a
metaphor from the early English cloth-making process where
cloth would be stretched or 'tentered' on hooks placed in its
seamed edges. 'Tentered' derives from the Latin 'tentus',
meaning stretched, which is also the origin of the word 'tent',
being made of stretched canvas.
through thick and thin - through good times and bad -
from old 'thick and thin blocks' in a pulley mechanism which
enabled rope of varying thickness to be used.
throw the book (at someone) - apply the full force of the
law or maximum punishment, let no transgression go
unpunished - from the 1930's, a simple metaphor based on
the image of a judge throwing the rule book, or a book of
law, at the transgressor, to suggest inflicting every possible
punishment contained in it.
thimble - finger protector used when sewing - from the
original word 'thumb-bell'. Thimbles were invented in Holland
and then introduced into England in 1695 by John Lofting's
Islington factory. Sailors particularly wore thimbles on their
thumbs.
threshold - the beginning of something, or a door-sill - from
the Anglo-Saxon 'thoerscwald', meaning 'door-wood'.
Alternatively some claim the origin is from the practice of
spreading threshed wheat and similar crops on dirt floors of
medieval houses. A piece of wood was used in the doorway
to stop the loose threshings from spilling onto the street.
(Ack JK)
thunderbolt - imaginary strike from above, or a massive
surprise - this was ancient mythology and astronomy's
attempt to explain a lightening strike, prior to the
appreciation of electricity. The original ancient expression

was 'thunderstone' which came from confusing thunder and
lightening with meteor strikes and shooting stars, and was
later superseded by 'thunderbolt' ('bolt' as in the short arrow
fired from a cross bow). The word 'thunderbolt' gave rise
directly to the more recent cliche meaning a big surprise,
'bolt from the blue' (blue being the sky).
just/that's the ticket - that's just right (particularly the
right way to do something) - from 'that's the etiquette'
(that's the correct thing to do). See 'Etiquette'.
tidy - orderly - late middle English from the word 'tide' (of
the sea), the extension originally meaning things done
punctually and methodically. The word 'tide' came from older
European languages, derived from words 'Tid', 'tith' and
'tidiz' which meant 'time'. See 'time and tide wait for no
man'.
time and tide wait for no man - delaying a decision won't
stop events overtaking you - Around 16th century the
English word 'tide' became established in its own right, up
until which it had been another word for 'time', so it's
unlikely the expression originated prior to then. The original
wording was 'tide nor time tarrieth no man' ('tarrieth'
meaning 'waits for')
tit for tat - retribution or retaliation, an exchange insults or
attacks - 'tit for tat' evolved from 'tip for tap', a middle
English expression for blow for blow, which also meant a
trade of verbal insults. Tit is an old English word for tug or
jerk. Tat evolved from tap partly because of the alliteration
with tit, but also from the verbal argument aspect, which
drew on the influence of the Middle English 'tatelen' meaning
prattle, (Dutch tatelen meant stammer) which also gave rise
to tittle-tattle. Tip and tap are both very old words for hit. (eg
'tip and run' still describes a bat and ball game when the
player hits the ball and runs, as in cricket). Tit for tat was
certainly in use in the mid-late 16th century. Tip for Tap was
before this. As with lots of these old expressions, their use
has been strengthened by similar sounding foreign
equivalents, especially from N.Europe, in this case 'dit vor

dat' in Dutch, and 'tant pour tant' in French. Skeat's 1882
dictionary of etymology references 'tit for tat' in 'Bullinger's
Works' . Brewer in 1870 suggests for 'tit for tat' the reference
'Heywood', which must be John Heywood, English playwright
1497-1580 (not to be confused with another English
playwright Thomas Heywood 1574-1641). According to
James Rogers dictionary of quotes and cliches, John Heywood
used the 'tit for tat' expression in 'The Spider and the Flie'
1556.
tomboy - boyish girl - can be traced back to the 16th
century, meaning a harlot, and in this sense nothing to do
with boys or the name Tom. The development was actually
from 'romping girl', derived from Anglo-Saxon 'tumbere'
meaning dancer or romper, from the same roots as the
French 'tomber' (to tumble about). The development of the
modern Tomboy (boyish girl) meaning is therefore a
corruption, largely through misinterpretation and mistaken
use over centuries. The early meaning of a promiscuous
boisterous girl or woman then resurfaced hundreds of years
later in the shortened slang term, Tom, meaning prostitute,
notably when in 1930's London the police used the term to
describe a prostitute working the Mayfair and Bayswater
areas. Australia and US underworld slang both feature
similar references, the US preferring Tommy, but all these
variations arguably come from the same Tomboy 'romping
girl' root. In the late 17th c. in England Tom Rig was a slang
term for a prostitute or loose woman (Rig meant a wanton,
from French se rigoler = to make merry). In Australia the
term Tom, for woman, developed from Tom-Tart (=
sweetheart) which probably stemmed from early London
cockney rhyming slang. The development of the prostitute
meaning was probably also influenced by old cockney
rhyming slang Tommy Tucker = the unmentionable......
grow like topsy/grew like topsy - to grow to a surprising
scale without intention and probably without being noticed -
from Harriet Beecher Stowe's 1850's book Uncle Tom's
Cabin, in which a slave girl called Topsy suggests that as she
had no mother of father 'I 'spects I growed'.

tories - political Conservative party and its members - the
original tories were a band of Irish Catholic outlaws in
Elizabethan times. The word derived from the Irish 'toruigh',
from 'toruighim', meaning to raid suddenly. This meaning
seems to have converged with the Celtic words 'Taob-righ'
('king's party'), 'tuath-righ' ('partisans of the king') and 'tar-a-
ri' ('come O king'). The Tory party first used the name in
1679. They began calling themselves 'Conservatives' in
1832, but the Tory name has continued to stick.
touch and go - a close decision or narrow escape - from the
days of horse-drawn carriages, when wheels of two vehicles
might touch but no damage was done, meaning that both
could go on their way.
turncoat - someone who changes sides - one of the dukes of
Saxony, whose land was bounded by France and England
had a coat made, reversible blue and white, so he could
quickly switch his show of allegiance.
typhoon - whirlwind storm - from the Chinese 't'ai-fun',
meaning the great wind. Typhoon was also an evil genius of
Egyptian mythology.
unkindest cut of all - a cruel or very unfortunate personal
disaster - from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, when Mark
Anthony says while holding the cloak Caesar wore when
stabbed by Brutus, 'this was the most unkindest cut of all'.
upper crust - high class (folk normally) - based on the
image of a pie symbolising the population, with the upper
class (1870 Brewer suggests the aristocratic 10%) being at
the top. Some have suggested - debatably that the term is
from medieval times when home-baked bread was generally
burnt at the base leading to the custom of reserving the
better quality upper crust for one's betters. (Ack JK)
uproar - collective shouting or noisy complaining - nothing
to do with roar, this is from the German 'auf-ruhren', to stir
up.

utopia - an unrealistically perfect place, solution or situation
- from Sir Thomas More's book of the same title written in
1516; utopia actually meant 'nowhere' from the Greek, 'ou
topos' (ou meaning not, topia meaning place), although the
modern meaning is moving more towards 'perfect' rather
than the original 'impossibly idealistic'. (thanks for
corrections Terry Hunt)
vandalism - deliberate damage to property - the Vandals
were a German warrior race based south of the Baltic and
prominent during the 5th and early 6th centuries. They
invaded Spain in 409, crossing to Africa in 429, and under
King Genseric sacked Rome in 455, where they mutilated
public monuments. The early use of the term vandalism
described the destruction of works of art by revolutionary
fanatics.
venison - meat of the deer - originally meant any animal
killed in hunting, from Latin 'venatio', to hunt. Venison is
mentioned in the Bible, when it refers to a goat kid.
volume - large book - ancient books were written on sheets
joined lengthways and rolled like a long scroll around a shaft;
'volume' meant 'a roll' from the Latin 'volvo', to roll up.
warts and all - including faults - supposedly from a quote
by Oliver Cromwell when instructing his portrait painter Peter
Lely to paint a true likeness including '...roughness, pimples,
warts and everything..'
on the wagon/fall off the wagon - abstain from drinking
alcohol(usually hard drink)/start drinking again after trying to
abstain - both terms have been in use for around a hundred
years. 'On the wagon', which cam first, is a shortened
expression derived from 'on the water wagon'. Before paved
and tarmac'd roads, water wagons used to spray the dirt
roads to keep dust down, and anyone abstaining from hard
liquor was said to be 'on the water wagon', no doubt because
the water wagon presented a convenient alcohol-free icon.
Vehicle-based cliches make for amusing metaphors although
we now take them for granted - 'in the cart' (in trouble, from

the practice of taking the condemned to execution in a horse
drawn cart); 'on your bike' (go away), 'get your skates on'
(hurry up); 'get out of your pram' (get angry); off your trolley
(mad or daft - not sure of this origin - possible the metaphor
of a mad person dismounting from a hospital trolley?)
whipping boy - someone who is regularly blamed or
punished for another's wrong-doing - as princes, Edward VI
and Charles I had boys (respectively Barnaby Fitzpatrick and
Mungo Murray) to take their punishment beatings for them,
hence 'whipping boy'. Around the same time Henry IV of
France enjoyed the same privilege; his whipping boys
D'Ossat and Du Perron later became cardinals.
win hands down - win easily - from horse-racing, a jockey
would relax and lower his grip on the horse's reins allowing
the horse to coast past the finishing line; nowadays an
offence that will earn the jockey a fine or ban, due to the
effect on the result and therefore betting payouts.
white elephant - something that turns out to be unwanted
and very expensive to maintain - from the story of the
ancient King of Siam who made a gift of a white elephant
(which was obviously expensive to keep and could not be
returned) to courtiers he wished to ruin. The original
expression was 'to have a white elephant to keep', meaning
to be burdened with the cost of caring for something very
expensive.
wife - see 'spinster'.
gone with the wind - irretrievably lost - although known
best as the title of the epic film, the origin is the 1896 poem
'Non Sum Qualis Erum' (also known as Cynara) by
Englishman Ernest Dowson (1867-1900): "I have forgot
much, Cynara! Gone with the wind, Flung roses, roses,
riotously, with the throng, Dancing, to put thy pale, lost lilies
out of mind, But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
Yea, all the time, because the dance was long: I have been
faithful to thee Cynara! in my fashion." Interestingly, in the
same year Dowson also gave us 'the days of wine and roses',

meaning past days of pleasure, in his poem 'Vitae Summa
Brevis': "..They are not long, the days of wine and roses: Out
of a misty dream, Our path emerges for a while, then closes,
Within a dream." (Who needs to find a rhyming word when
you can use the same one....)
wormwood - bitter herbal plant - nothing to do with worms
or wood; it means 'man-inspiriting' in Anglo-Saxon.
worth his salt - a valued member of the team - salt has
long been associated with a man's worth, since it used to be
a far more valuable commodity than now (the Austrian city
of Salzburg grew almost entirely from the wealth of its salt
mines). The expression originates as far back as Roman
times when soldiers' pay was given in provisions, including
salt. The modern day version probably grew from the one
Brewer references in 1870, 'true to his salt', meaning 'faithful
to his employer'.
the writing's on the wall - something bad is bound to
happen - from the book of Daniel, which tells the story of the
King of Belshazzar who sees the words of warning 'mene,
mene, tekel, upharsin' written on the wall of the temple of
Jesusalemen, following his feasting in the temple using its
sacred vessels.
yankee/yank - an American of the northern USA/European
slang for an American - originally a corrupted interpretation
by native American Indians of the words 'English' and the
French 'Anglias' (also meaning 'English'), the former from
'yengees', 'yenghis', 'yanghis' to 'yankees'. The word
'yankee' first came into use by American Dutch settlers of
New Amsterdam in early 18th century to describe English
settlers, and then became a wider term for a New Englander.
In the civil war the southern rebels extended the the term
within the USA to mean the enemy from the northern states.
xmas - christmas - x is the Greek letter 'chi', and the first
letter of the Greek word 'christos' meaning 'anointed one';
first used in the fourth century.

zeitgeist - mood or feeling of the moment - from the
German, 'zeit' (time) and 'geist' (spirit).

old cliches
great old cliches that have passed out of use
As life changes so does the relevance (and acceptability) of
expressions. Here are some that for various reasons have
fallen out of use. More are being added to this section from
time to time, so if you've any suggestions please email
them.
bittock - a little bit - 'ock' was an old English suffix for the
diminutive (eg, hillock, bullock).
a bone in my throat - cannot or unwilling to talk.
never wear a brown hat in Friesland - meaning the same
as 'when in Rome do as the Romans do' (ie don't upset the
locals by behaving contrary to their customs) - Friesland was
a province of the Netherlands, where the custom was to
wear several different types of headgear (knitted cap, silk
scull-cap, a metal turban and a large bonnet - all at once!).
cat's paw - person doing someone else's dirty work - from
Aesop's fable of the monkey who uses the cat's paw to
remove roasted chestnuts from the hot ashes.
chatter-broth/scandal-broth - tea (the drink).
cow-lick - a (stubborn) quiff or tuft of hair on the forehead.
the devil's tattoo - to drum one's fingers on a table
('tattoo' meant originally a military drum beat, which was
used to call soldiers back to barracks).
driving pigs - snoring - from the metaphor of taking
grunting pigs to market.
German comb - using the fingers and thumb of one hand to
roughly comb one's hair - from the practice of German
people who were much later than the French to adopt
combs.
a head full of bees - being mad or very stupid.

keep your breath to cool your porridge - mind you own
business.
kiss the hare's foot - be late for or miss dinner (the old
metaphor was based on the idea that the hare had run away
and you'd only be able to kiss its footprint).
leaves without figs - empty words or promises.
pecksniff - a hypocrite.
shove the queer - attempt to pass counterfeit money
(queer used to mean fake money).
scornful dogs will eat dirty puddings - desperate people
do desperate things (people understood there was a needs
hierarchy long before Maslow told us).
shoe a goose - engage in a fruitless task.
not got a shot in the locker - penniless - from the naval
analogy of having no gunshot in the munition store.
parish oven - a bus (translated from the great French
expression 'four banal').
stiff - (bought with) credit - also meant an I.O.U., from the
'stiff' rate of interest imposed by money-lenders. Buying
something 'stiff' was buying on credit.
tap the admiral - to suck liquid from a container with a
straw.
tapster - bar-maid.
touch bottom - learn the details of a bad predicament - a
naval metaphor, as in a ship's keel touching the sea-bed.
derivations quiz
what are the original meanings or derivations of the
following words and expressions:
1 scuba (diving)

2 biscuit (snack food)
3 sold down the river (exploited or betrayed for profit)
4 put a sock in it (shut up)
5 red tape (bureaucracy)
6 hip hip hooray (three cheers)
7 hat-trick (three scores/wickets/wins)
8 velcro (cloth fastener)
9 bury the hatchet (agree to stop arguing)
10 scot free (escape without punishment)
answers
words and expressions origins reference sources

Dictionary of Phrase and Fable (1870 version) - Brewer
English Etymology - Skeat
Oxford English Dictionary
Chambers Dictionary of Etymology
Cassell's Dictionary of Word Histories
Cockney Rabbit Rhyming Slang Dictionary - Ray Puxley
Cassells Dictionary of Slang - Jonathan Green
Dictionary of Cliches - Julia Cresswell
Dictionary of Cliches -James Rogers
Oxford Dictionary of Quotations
various historical reference books and foreign language
translation dictionaries, and the following internet free
website resources:
words, expressions, cliches origins links

alternate-usage-english group multi-site index
michael quinion's world wide words
the phrase finder
probert encycolopaedia
word wizzard
wordorigins.org
random house
yaelf
clichesite.com
google groups alt.use.english search
online etymology dictionary
For help with research of origins and derivations of cliches,
expressions and words that you cannot find above please get
in touch via the contact us page.

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'Bop-it Extreme' is a terrific hand-

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