Here are your Merry Monday Messages.

If you like them, laugh a lot and your family and friends will beg you to share
them,
If not tell me and we will cry ... maybe. R&P
<0o>, <oo>? <o0>! <0o>@ <oo>#
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall
asleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and po
tentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo
. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically,
it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteo
rologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell y
ou?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stol
en our tent."
<0o>,
Oh boy! Put on your reading glasses, take a deep breath, and feed the cat becaus
e you may be out of commission for a while. We are about to journey to Worcester
County in the state of Massachusetts, where there's a lake that can
literally take your breath away.
It's Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.
The name, which has 17 g's, is pronounced, naturally, as it's spelled. There are
two variant spellings, but I don't have the heart to subject you or my proofrea
der to them.
According to author Bill McLain, this Nipmuck Indian word (did you really think
it was Portuguese?) means, "You fish on your side, I fish on my side, nobody fis
hes in the middle."
By the way, it's also known as Lake Webster.
(Source: "Do Fish Drink Water?" By Bill McLain)
<0o>?
Daffy Definitions:
A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility
at the other.
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg
A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a div
orce. - Don Quinn
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and want
s it back the minute it begins to rain.- Mark Twain
A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.
<0o>!
A new koan:
If you have some ice cream, I will give it to you.
If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you.
It is an ice cream koan.
<0o>@
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognise Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognise the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognise each other in the liquor store.
<oo>#
and finally,
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
>^,,^<
Hugs, Health, Happiness and Harmony :-)
Rod & Pauline Hyatt