NOVEMBER 09, 2006

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 NOVEMBER 09, 2006
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HOST: Oprah Winfrey
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Sheri Salata, Lisa Erspamer
OPRAH'S HIGH SCHOOL CHALLENGE
OPRAH WINFREY: Today, an all-new OPRAH. I admit, I didn't think this would
work until I saw it with my own eyes. Go inside a daring experiment; 64 teens
will be transformed.
STEVEN (Senior): I've been spit on, I've had trash throw on me.
DE-LEA (Senior): I'm sorry.
Unidentified Teen Boy #1: That's all right.
DORIAN (Junior): We had fights between black people and white people.
WINFREY: Confrontation, heartache, confessions, even forgiveness.
CHRIS (Senior): Man, I'm sorry.
WINFREY: I'm not kidding when I say this is how we change the world.
That is so powerful.
A show you and your family cannot miss, next.
We hear a lot about schools in the news and we see the headlines, children
shooting other children. What's really going on, we asked? And as we tried
to explore this issue, it became very clear that the bigger question should be
what's really going on at home? Broken families, fighting, stress, overworked
parents, it's causing your children great pain. And if you don't believe me,
watch this show, because in this hour you're going to witness a daring social
experiment, we call it. Our cameras went inside a typical American high
school, and what we captured is very eye-opening, but what shines through is
that real change and connection is possible. OPRAH SHOW correspondent Lisa
Ling goes inside Monroe High.
(Excerpt from videotape)
LISA LING: We are at Monroe High School in Monroe, Michigan, and there are
just over 2,000 students here. And, you know, just like any high school in
America, they have their cliques.
So, in this lunch room, can you clearly identify the cliques?
Ms. DENISE LILLY (Assistant Principal): So, you have your athletes that sit
together, you have your African-Americans students that sit together, your
Latino students that sit together. Academically-enhanced students sit
together.
LING: I asked Assistant Principal Denise Lilly where she thinks that the
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tension lies at Monroe High.
Ms. LILLY: There's a lot of racial tension in the district and in the
community.
LING: Dorian, a junior at the school, agrees.
DORIAN: Last year, we had a whole bunch of fights with--between black people
and white people. They had police at the school. And it all starts out of
these little things that people say about each other.
LING: In US schools over 800,000 students every year are verbally harassed
because of their race.
Is there a lot of discrimination at the school?
DORIAN: There is. Under the radar. A lot of people act like they don't see
it, but, yes, there is. You can get it just from walking into a classroom and
a teacher sees your skin color and they don't expect you to get as good as
grades as other students.
LING: I find other students are more concerned with teasing and bullying.
Do you think that if you dressed preppy, people would treat you differently?
CHRYSTAL (Junior): I think so. That would give me more respect than they do.
Like, if I'm standing in the hallway, people would actually smile and wave at
me, instead of looking at me weird and calling me a freak and saying rude
stuff to me.
LING: Every day, 160,000 American students miss school because of bullying.
Are there people in school who are not nice to you?
STEVEN (Senior): I'm openly gay here at Monroe High. Last year, I got spit
on, people pushed me around the bathroom and stuff. I get made fun of all the
time for being gay here.
LING: Sixty-one percent of students who are bullied do not tell their
parents, and gay teens are six times more likely to commit suicide.
Do you get called faggot and stuff like that?
STEVEN: Oh, yeah, every day.
LING: Haley struggles with perhaps the most difficult challenge a high school
student can face.
And how does it feel to be 16 and have a kid?
HALEY (Senior): It's very hard. Right now, I'm just worried about taking
care of him and trying to finish school.

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LING: Only 33 percent of teen moms receive their high school diploma.
What do you want people to know about you and your life?
HALEY: I am really smart. I'm not--I don't sleep around. I have been
through at lot, I really have. But I am straightening up and trying to be the
best I can be for myself and my family and my son.
(End of excerpt)
WINFREY: So, welcome Lisa Ling and 64 students and their teachers from Monroe
High School. Welcome to the show.
So, Lisa, first of all, I heard that you were a bit cynical about this. You
know, when my producers first proposed the idea to me, I go, `OK.' But they
were so enthusiastic about it.
LING: Yeah, I was very cynical. I thought Challenge Day? We're going to do
something called Challenge Day?
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
LING: And I kept thinking about how I was in high school, and I was cynical
and I thought everything was stupid. But I got to tell you something,
there--something happened at this school that day that was really remarkable.
WINFREY: So what surprised you about that day and the students?
LING: Well, Monroe High School is really no different than so many high
schools across America. But when you actually talk to a lot of these kids
one-on-one, what surprised me was just so much baggage that a lot of these
kids bring to school every day that they don't talk about.
WINFREY: OK. Well, 19 years ago, Yvonne Dutra-St. John and her husband Rich
created a dynamic program that they called Challenge Day in order to help
teens try to turn some of their baggage around. And what you see today you
can institute in your own schools and in your own family. We're going to show
you how a little later on.
But, Yvonne, what's really going on?
Ms. YVONNE DUTRA-ST. JOHN (Co-Founder of Challenge Day): Well, we all know
what's going on in the schools as far as the drug and alcohol abuse, teasing,
bullying. But we think all those things that we see and that we're worrying
about are really the symptoms of the real problem. The biggest problem in our
schools today, we believe, are separation, isolation, and loneliness. Which
is crazy, because our schools are packed with hundreds or even thousands of
kids. So if our kids are feeling lonely, it's not because there's a lack of
people, it's because there's a lack of love and connection between them.
WINFREY: Yeah. So I get it, this makes perfect sense. You look at the world
where parents are stressed, parents are getting divorced, parents are feeling
all of the anxiety and frustrations of what it takes to raise their kids. And
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their kids are also feeling that, too.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Yeah.
WINFREY: You think you're hiding it from your kids, but you never really are.
Is that correct, Rich?
Mr. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Yes. There's no way that we as parents can know what's
going on in our kid's life because we didn't go through some of that. And the
truth is that we get more training on how to drive a car than we get to be how
to be a parent.
WINFREY: True. And that's why we have problems in our schools.
OK. Well, three weeks ago, we brought the challenge to Monroe High.
(Excerpt from videotape)
LING: Sixty-four students are about to walk into this room and watch what
happens as soon as they walk in, the groups they gravitate to. This is where
it starts. We'll see what happens in the end.
KYOKO (Junior): Walking in the gym actually was really nerve-racking, because
there was just a lot of people that I didn't think that I would want to open
up to.
LING: From the beginning, I watched as the teens sit with people they're most
comfortable with.
What's this about and what do you hope to accomplish today?
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: The program's called Challenge Day. Kids that don't
know each other or different--from different cliques, backgrounds, belief
systems, skin color, they're going to come together in here, and what they're
going to basically find out by the end of the day is that we're much more
alike than we are different. The goal is to break down the walls.
Kids: (In unison) Good morning!
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Challenge Day is a time for you to know all you've got
to do is be you. Let go of any walls, any images, any masks, just be you and
tell your truth, because we're ready to get real.
Mr. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: We're about to play a game! Yeah!
DE'LEA (Senior): When the game started, you didn't know the person, but you,
like, knew what clique that person is from. So you're kind of like, `I don't
think I want to be here.'
LING: The games help replace the students' fears with fun.
Kids: (In unison) I feel good! Oh, I feel so good!

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LING: Teenagers from vastly different backgrounds are forced to interact.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: I'd like you to look for someone you do not know who
has a different ethnicity or cultural background than you. Go. Reach out.
LING: Slowly, a room full of high school students start stepping out of their
comfort zones. We learn a silent, but powerful way to support each other, as
the ultimate high school challenge gets under way.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: This is our sign for the day. We're going to be
sending love. It means `I love you,' it means `I've got your back, I feel
you, I'm with you.' Perfect. That's how it works.
(End of excerpt)
WINFREY: So tell us about that sign we just saw.
LING: OK. So the `I love you' sign.
WINFREY: Yeah.
LING: It sounds silly, but it's really amazing when you actually sit across
from someone and they're really divulging something very deep and very
personal. And when they feel most alone, when you see the sign go up,
especially from a bunch of different people who you didn't interact with the
day before or the week before or ever, it's a pretty amazing feeling.
WINFREY: Was it for you guys?
Unidentified Teen Boy #2: Yeah.
WINFREY: Was it an amazing feeling?
Unidentified Teen Boy #3: Yeah, it was.
WINFREY: It was. OK. We'll be right back. Right back.
Coming up, as trust begins to form, walls start to come down, and deep,
painful secrets are revealed. Keep watching.
(Announcements)
(Excerpt from videotape)
WINFREY: Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, was the scene of the
deadliest school shooting in US history. Since that horrific day, 227
children and adults have been killed in our schools. Since August, just a
couple months ago, there have been 58 school-related shootings, stabbings and
other so-called crisis incidents nationwide. High schools around the country
are panicking, so teachers at Monroe High, outside of Detroit, Michigan, have
agreed to take action before they become one of these headlines. We
challenged them to participate with us in a daring experiment called Challenge
Day. The goal is simple, to get kids to start talking about what matters, and
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more importantly, learn to listen to each other.
(End of excerpt)
WINFREY: So we're asking you, how would you finish this sentence? `If you
really knew me, you would know.' So I ask you in the audience to ask yourself
that question and fill in the blank and think about it. Does your family know
how you would answer that question? Do your best friends know? Do your
neighbors know? Finishing that sentence was the next challenge for Lisa Ling
and the students at Monroe. Watch this.
(Excerpt from videotape)
LING: The students are separated into small groups. Kids are challenged to
open up and tell their fellow classmates about themselves. But first, they
talk about the basics.
JEREMIE (Senior): If you really knew me, you'd know that I was in the band
and I play the tuba.
ALYSSA (Senior): If you really knew me, you'd know that I like to be with my
friends.
YADIRA (Senior): If you really know me, you would know that I hide my
feelings a lot.
LING: So rarely do we sit across from someone and just look them in the eyes
and listen.
CHRIS (Senior): I'm kind of just--I go off on other people. I feel so bad
about myself when I do that.
LING: The more they talk, the more they reveal.
MAYLAYSSIA (Senior): If really knew me, you'd know that, when I was little, I
had big, huge glasses and braces and stuff, and I was always called ugly, and
I spent all of my life trying to look good for everybody so I wouldn't ever be
called that again.
LING: If you really knew me, you'd know that I was one of the only Asian kids
in my school and I used to get teased all the time. And even though I was a
pretty popular kid, it still was just, you know, I'd go home crying all the
time.
For some, academic pressure collides with peer pressure.
ZACH (Junior): If you really knew me, you would know that last year I had a
hard year. I learned a lot this summer and how easily it is to get caught up
in the wrong thing, hang out with the wrong people, get in a lot of trouble.
One of my friends got involved with drugs and just ruined his life, pretty
much threw it away.
LING: On any given day, these kids might pass each other in the hallway and
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not think twice. Today, they're discovering heavy burdens their classmates
carry with them to school.
HENRY (Senior): My mom, at the beginning of the summer, she had a massive
heart attack and then a triple bypass surgery, and that's the closest person
to me. Mom my went back in the hospital last night.
DE'LEA: If you really knew me, you'd know that I am not as close to my mom as
I want to, because she's in a different--she's in a different state and she's
dying. Sorry.
Teen Boy #1: That's all right.
LING: Health problems can make school a lot more difficult.
ELESHIA (Senior): I had kidney failure since ninth grade. And I am really
struggling with that because every day I have to get--I have to take medicine
for my body to function well. If not, I can die in 12 days.
LING: The overwhelming expectations of parents follow many students into the
classroom.
RAVIN (Senior): If you really knew me, you would know that my dad's a
minister and I live in a fishbowl life where everybody expects me to be a
preacher's son and the best of the best and never seen doing anything wrong,
which makes everybody watch me. And as soon as I do, it's almost like
I'm--like the bad apple. Last year, I went through a stage where I didn't
care and I was going to be the bad apple and you were going to know it.
Screwed my life over. Made some wrong decisions. Hurt a lot of people that
care about me. I wish I could go back in time. If you really knew me, you'd
know that.
LING: Niccole shares with her group what it's like to be black in Monroe.
NICCOLE (Senior): If you really knew me, it's hard to live in Monroe. It's
really hard to live here.
Unidentified Teen Boy #4: Why is it hard for you to live here?
NICCOLE: Because of the racism. There's a lot of that here. A lot. I have
to deal with people either being scared of me or people hating me for being
the color I am. That's a lot to deal with.
(End of excerpt)
WINFREY: So, how many people say that this was the first time that you really
shared and opened up that way, especially to your peers, was it the first
time?
Unidentified Teen Boy #5: Yeah. Yeah.
WINFREY: So, Niccole, let's talk about what you were saying about racism.
How does it manifest itself in your life? Do people call you names or do they
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ignore you, shun you, what?
NICCOLE: They call me names. They will see me in the hallway and they'll say
`Look at that' or something. They'll...
WINFREY: `Look at that'?
NICCOLE: Yeah. They'll say--they'll just make fun of me and stuff.
WINFREY: They call you nigger?
NICCOLE: Yes.
WINFREY: They call you nigger?
NICCOLE: Yeah.
WINFREY: That is really surprising in this day. In your high school, you get
called nigger?
NICCOLE: Yeah. Yep.
WINFREY: Regularly?
NICCOLE: Yeah.
WINFREY: Do you experience racism?
DORIAN: I do experience racism. I haven't really been called nigger to my
face...
WINFREY: Uh-huh.
DORIAN: ...but people have segregated me or treated me differently because of
my race.
WINFREY: Really? Uh-huh.
DORIAN: And looked down upon me.
WINFREY: OK. OK. Like a lot of teenagers, Maylayssia confessed that she
struggles also trying to maintain the perfect image. And I know that a lot of
girls and women can relate to this.
MAYLAYSSIA: Ever since I was little, you know, I wore glasses or braces.
WINFREY: Oh, yeah.
MAYLAYSSIA: And as I matured more, you know, I lost my glasses, so people say
I'm pretty now, people say I'm pretty, and it makes me happy, but I don't want
to ever be called ugly again.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
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MAYLAYSSIA: So I know...
WINFREY: But you do have to worry about it. You're on national TV, 10
million people see you, they all say, `She's pretty.' So you can get another
problem, because that one's over, OK?
OK, Yvonne, you say that what really happens, and we're hearing and seeing
this in this tape--in these tapes, is that children in school really just
reflect the communities that they come from, the communities and families that
they come from.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Yeah, it's like the schools are a microcosm of the
larger community. We all go to school and we learn the lessons we learn, get
the hurts we get. And then we grow up and we become teenagers in these
grownup bodies. And then we take that same drama, often, that we deal with in
school into our adult lives, like into the workplace. People are afraid to be
who they are, often people are talking behind people's backs, they start
cliquing off. Then many of us end up just like in high school feeling alone
and separate.
WINFREY: Yeah. We'll be right back. Thank you, Yvonne. We'll be right
back.
Coming up, the emotional moment when one of these students has to stand alone
in her pain. And later, see what happened that Lisa Ling calls a miracle.
(Announcements)
(Excerpt from videotape)
WINFREY: Every seven minutes, a student in the United States is bullied.
Caitlin Nolan, a high school junior from Oak Ridge, Tennessee, is one of them.
Ms. CAITLIN NOLAN: Being bullied is a constant state of fear. Fear to go
out to eat, fear to go to the mall. But, most of all, a fear to go to school.
WINFREY: One out of every four students say they are bullied. Students from
Monroe High, outside Detroit, Michigan, admit gay classmates are the most
bullied in their school. So we challenged 64 juniors and seniors from various
groups and cliques to take part in Challenge Day. The goal is to break down
walls that divide and isolate them. Lisa Ling talks to 17-year-old. De'Lea.
LING: Is it hard to be gay here?
DE'LEA: Like they'll be kids sitting in the back and I can hear them
whispering and giggling about me, and I try not--I'll just sit there and deal
with it.
WINFREY: De'lea tells her peers how she really feels.
DE'LEA: If you really knew me, I'm not as different as everyone thinks that I
am. And I have stuff in common with everyone else. If you really knew me, I
guess you would be my friend, I guess. I'm a really cool person to get along
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with. If you really knew me, I love everyone.
(End of excerpt)
WINFREY: So what was that like for you, De'Lea?
DE'LEA: It was hard to just come out. But I'm proud of myself that I did.
It was--I felt very vulnerable, just letting out all my feelings about
everything.
WINFREY: Did it help you?
DE'LEA: Yes, it helped me a lot. I'm not so in my shell anymore. I can let
people know what I'm feeling.
LING: Oprah, these are really simple exercises, and they're not just limited
to high school students, there were teachers in the groups. I'm more than 10
years older than most of these kids, but yet, very rarely...
WINFREY: So am I.
LING: ...do you actually get the opportunity to communicate.
WINFREY: Yeah.
LING: Because it's about fundamental communication, but most importantly,
listening. Because so often, we're so inclined to talk...
WINFREY: Yeah.
LING: ...when you're sitting across from someone. But when you just kind of
sit and listen to them...
WINFREY: Uh-huh.
LING: ...it's incredible what you will learn.
WINFREY: Because oftentimes we get so caught up in appearances that we keep
our problems and our feelings and our fears hidden from those people who
interact with us every day. Watch as these 64 students realize for the first
time they are not alone.
(Excerpt from videotape)
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: If a group or category I call out applies to you, I'm
going to have you cross over the line. When you cross over that line, you'll
be crossing into a group that today in our society is given less privilege,
less opportunity. I want you to notice how it feels to be on either side.
Please cross the line if, while at school, you have ever felt alone or afraid.
I want everybody to see how many people crossed this line. It's because
there's a lack of connection between the people. Please put your right arm on
the shoulder of the person to your right, your left arm on the shoulder of the
person to your left and look around. This is how easy it is for us all to be
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connected. There is no reason for us to do this alone. And please cross the
line if you or any family member is recovering from any type of addiction at
all. It could be alcohol, drugs, any type of addiction.
DANIEL (Senior): The thing that hurt the most when we were crossing over is
addictions. Because that's what's big in my families is addictions.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Please cross the line if you've ever been hit, slapped
or beaten up by somebody who said, `I love you.'
CHRYSTAL: I've been hit by one of my ex-boyfriends. I actually knows how it
feels to be, like, basically tossed aside and just basically worthless and not
somebody. It amazed me how many people has been hit or hurt by someone that
they love.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Please cross the line if you're Arab or Middle Eastern.
LING: Even though Ilona was only one to cross the line, look how much love
she got.
ILONA (Senior): Well, walking across was like the hardest thing for me,
because I knew that I was, like, going to be the only one. Over the years,
I've had people calling me names like `Arab' or something, and I just
sometimes just take it.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: This next one's for the men only. Please cross the
line if you have ever been pushed to be tougher, told not to cry, pushed to
ignore your physical or your emotional pain.
ERIC (Senior): I have been made into a stereotypical man. I have to hide my
emotions sometimes. The way that the media portrays men nowadays is that
they're always tough. And it's been drilled in that you're not supposed to be
emotional. I didn't think other guys felt the same way that I did, all the
sadness and al the emotions. And just to walk across and to see them and to
know I'm not alone, it was nice.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: And please cross the line if you've ever been teased or
hurt because someone thought you were fat or too big.
RA'SHADA (Senior): I saw Rachelle over there for being teased for being too
fat. I think Rachelle is so beautiful. It makes me wonder what do people
think is the perfect size?
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Women, please cross the line if any man or boy has ever
whistled at you, cat-called you, hit you, slapped you, beat you up, or ever
called you a bitch, slut, whore.
LING: Of course, every woman walked over the line, because I've been in
situations where I felt so vulnerable as a woman and I had no power, and every
woman has gone through it.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Men, I'd like you to look in the eyes of the women who
crossed this line. What if one of these women was your mother, your
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grandmother, your sister? And please cross the line if you've ever been
teased, hurt, or humiliated by somebody who is in this room. Look in the eyes
maybe of someone who may have hurt you or you may have hurt. Now, how does it
feel to be separate? And did you ever say that you were sorry?
ZACH: My cousin's in here, and they said stuff about picking on him. I used
to pick on him because he was overweight. And when he started crying, I
couldn't deal with it. It hurt me so bad to know that I hurt somebody. I
didn't expect myself to start crying this bad. But it hurts real bad.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: And please cross the line if you've ever been teased or
hurt for wearing glasses, braces, a hearing aid, for the way that you walked,
for the way that you talked, for the clothes that you wore or about your
height, your weight, your complexion, or for the shape, the size or the
appearance of your body. Is this the school of your dreams?
(End of excerpt)
WINFREY: Wow. That is so powerful. That's very powerful. Congratulations.
Congratulations to you guys for doing it. So powerful. So I want to talk to
some of the men. What was that like--experience like for you, seeing all of
the women who said that they had been abused in some form because they were
women, called names, cat calls? Yes?
JOSEPH (Senior): Yeah. I--a lot of times, you think that that's just honest
flirtation and that it's acceptable or that it's what should be going on, and
you--it's not.
WINFREY: OK. Yes, sir?
CHARLES (Senior): I've seen people do it to my sisters and my mom, and then I
go back and do it, too. And then just seeing that really, really hurt me,
knowing that I've done that before. And that was something that has gone on.
I never thought I would have hurt somebody that bad, and I thought it was just
a joke.
WINFREY: Yeah. Did it do what Yvonne said, and I've said this for many
years, Maya Angelou says this a lot, too, that we all--all of us in the world
are more alike than we are different. Did it allow to you see that,
everybody? Yes?
JESSICA (Senior): It kind of showed that when you think that you're alone and
you really look around you, that there are people going through the same
things that you are, and it's OK to open up.
WINFREY: Wonderful. Yes, sir?
CHARLES: I was raised by, you know, all these--I was the typical male, you're
not allowed to cry, you're not supposed to show emotion, you're supposed to
take care of your family no matter what happens. And I broke down and cried,
and people I didn't even know came up and hugged me. And that really made it
OK, it made it OK to break down--it made it OK to break down those barriers.

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WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
CHARLES: And I wasn't scared anymore.
WINFREY: Niccole, you talked about racism earlier, do you think it broke down
some of the walls of racism?
NICCOLE: Yeah. I think they didn't realize that it was happening.
WINFREY: Uh-huh.
NICCOLE: I mean, they did it, but they didn't really think about it. I think
at that point they realized that what they say do affect what people do.
WINFREY: Well, in high school, were you the jock or the geek or the loner or
maybe the mean girl, those of you who are watching? Coming up, students look
beyond the labels. What we all can learn, next.
(Announcements)
WINFREY: Think about this. In high school, were you the most popular or the
nerd or the straight-A student, the troublemaker or the jock? Well, how has
your label plagued you throughout your life? Labels are one of the first
things kids receive when they walk through school doors, and Monroe High is no
different.
(Excerpt from videotape)
LING: Fellow students think they know all about your life when you're a
popular student like Riley.
Are you popular here?
RILEY (The Popular Guy): Yeah. I mean, I'm not trying to...
LING: Right. No--right.
RILEY: I mean, I'm well-known. I have a lot of friends, and throughout
grades.
LING: Riley tells his group about the time when he wasn't so popular.
RILEY: If you really knew me, you'd know that I grew up really overweight.
My mom and dad really put a lot of pressure on me to lose the weight and drop
the pounds. I really lost a lot weight and began to, you know, really like
myself.
LING: Riley reveals more to his small group.
RILEY: A lot of people judge me as somebody who has a lot of money, when in
actuality my mom is, like, working two jobs and barely making it. And
everything that I have, from my car to my clothes, I had to save up for. And
I have a job and all that stuff. People always place judgment on me, think
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I'm some rich, spoiled kid, and I'm really not.
LING: Being labeled the smart girl can isolate an overachieving teenager.
RA'SHADA: I don't think that girls like you when you're smart and you are
really dominant. So that's why I probably don't have many friends.
LING: For Ra'Shada, it has also brought heartache to her most important
relationship.
RA'SHADA: I have a twin brother and we are extremely close. Since
kindergarten, we have been in the same class, and every year it's like,
`Ra'Shada's doing so great, but Ramad, he is lacking this, he's lacking this.'
That's always been the comment from our teachers.
LING: At graduation time, Ra'Shada may be standing alone.
RA'SHADA: He might not be able to graduate. What is it going to be like come
graduation time for me and him when I don't hear his name called after mine.
LING: During Challenge Day, Ra'Shada confesses a secret she's been hiding
from her peers.
RA'SHADA: If you really knew me, you'd know that every time somebody asks me
about my ACT score, I lie. And it is a lot lower than what I say, because I'm
afraid that people won't think I'm smart anymore if I told them the real
score.
LING: Every day, rich kids face the assumption that money makes life easy.
Do you think that people who don't know you might resent you for any reason?
CHARLES: My family is well-off, so people sometimes don't like that about me,
that, you know, I have my college paid for and I can go to any college that I
want and be what I want. So it's, you know, `Oh, he's the rich kid' or, you
know, he--you know, stuff like that.
LING: But Charles says being rich can't protect him from his hidden pain.
CHARLES: If you knew me, you would know that every night I cry myself to
sleep. I'll never let anyone see it. My dad left when I was 14, and it was a
really bad way to leave, he never said goodbye to me, he just left. My mom
developed ovarian cancer and I was told multiple times that she was going to
die. If you knew me, the true reason why I stopped playing football was
because I had to take care of my mom. I had to every night take her upstairs,
lay her down in bed, I had to feed her, I had to put her to sleep, I had to
get her ready for work. If you knew me, every day, I wake up, I'm scared.
I'm scared where my life is going. I'm scared of where I'm at in my life,
because I have to make a lot of decisions and I've had to be an adult very
longer than most people.
(End of excerpt)

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WINFREY: Powerful. Really powerful. And so that was like what for you to
open up that way?
CHARLES: That growing up that way, you know, you don't have a--you don't have
a dad to teach you how to shave and you don't have a dad that's there all the
time. It's really kind of scary because you have all these things that all
these other guys expect of you and you don't know how to do a lot of them.
WINFREY: And I'm sure--was everybody shocked to hear this from him? Yeah.
Yeah.
CHARLES: And my mom is the most important person in my world. I grew up--my
mom raised me, my three sisters raised me, and...
WINFREY: How is your mom now? How is she?
CHARLES: She's amazing.
WINFREY: She's better?
Coming up, Lisa says what happened next was nothing short of a miracle. Keep
watching. Fascinating. Really fascinating.
(Announcements)
WINFREY: Sixty-four students from Monroe High School took part in an
extraordinary program called Challenge Day. Lacrisha breaks the silence about
being separated from her mother for nine years.
LACRISHA (Senior): If you really knew me--I come off as a person that handles
problems, but when I was eight years old my mom left me. And me and my
brother had to split up because they had to put me in a family. She thinks
that I forgot, but I didn't forget everything she did to us.
WINFREY: At the end of the day, Lacrisha was overwhelmed by the support.
LACRISHA: I just want to thank everybody for being there. When I'm upset or
sad, I'm not a touchy, feely person, so everybody, hugging was a little hard.
And a lot in your life--I love you and I've heard `I love you' from people
that told me they were going to throw me in a foster home if I didn't do
something right. I don't think that's love. But today, when one person
hugged me and they told me they loved me, I really felt love for once. And
that's you, Ms. Hehl. And I really truly love you, and thank you for that.
For that 30 seconds you were hugging me, I felt the most love I think I've
felt in a long time.
(End of excerpt)
WINFREY: Powerful. And that that 30 seconds was the most love you think
you've ever felt, Lacrisha?
LACRISHA: Well, I've felt love, but it was just good feeling it from somebody
who's there walking the hallways with you.
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WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
LACRISHA: And at that moment, I just thought I needed to let her know that
that meant a lot. It was crazy how just her hugging me right there when I
needed and her being there, it was a great feeling.
WINFREY: Thank you so much.
Lisa says that what happened next during Challenge Day was absolutely
astounding. It started with an apology from the high school counselor.
(Excerpt from videotape)
Ms. MELISSA STEWART (School Counselor): One thing that really moved me was
when I looked across the line and saw students who had been humiliated by
teachers.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: And please cross the line if you've ever been
humiliated in a classroom by a teacher or a student.
Ms. STEWART: I just want to say that if I was ever one of those teachers,
I'm sorry. And I think that I can speak for all the teachers in here when I
say that we never mean to do that. We don't look at you sometimes with our
eyes open looking into your hearts to see what's really going on.
LING: Steven, a gay student wants people to understand what he experiences
every single day.
STEVEN: There's people in this room who've called me a faggot or a queer.
There's a couple of people who have bumped into me. You guys don't know how
bad that hurts. I lay in my bed at night and I cry about it. I've been spit
on, I've had trash thrown on me in the commons. But you don't understand, we
have feelings, too. Just because I'm gay, it doesn't mean I'm not a person.
I have the same emotions as you. There's just one thing that's different
about me. Just like you're black or you're Asian or something like that. And
I don't think you guys know how bad it hurts.
LING: From across the room, Michael is moved to action.
MICHAEL (Senior): I remember last year seeing you in the hall and screaming
out one of those names you said that hurt you every night. I had no right
judging you in that way, and I just wanted to apologize. You're as equal as
any of us.
LING: But Michael isn't finished, he has another heart-felt apology.
MICHAEL: I wanted to stand up and apologize for all men, even myself, that
have called a female a B or a ho or a slut, because in no way do they deserve
that, because all women are beautiful in their own way. No man should ever do
that to no woman, in no song or nothing.
LING: As barriers slowly break down, watch as the school's most destructive
issue is confronted, racism.
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CHRIS: There's a lot of people in here today that I've said some things that
I never should have said, that nobody deserves what I said to them. Dorian
over here, he's my teammate, he's my friend; I've said some things to him
that, man, I'm sorry. I never meant them things I said on the bus or
anything. And I want everybody to know that I'm not going to just stop here,
you know, I'm going to go out to my family and I'm going to let them know
that, you know, racism's not where it's at. Accept everybody equally, you
know. Today, I overcame a huge hurdle in my life, and I just want everybody
to know that I'll be here for any one of you if you need me.
LING: Then Chris' African-American classmates showed their support.
(End of excerpt)
WINFREY: I just want to say that's how we change the world, one person at a
time. This is how we change the world. It begins with each person. So we'll
be right back. We'll be right back. Beautiful, guys. Beautiful.
(Announcements)
WINFREY: I was just saying that that is how we begin to change the world, by
apologizing for beliefs that have been--have had negative influences on other
people. Particularly racism for you. Would you have called yourself a racist
before, Chris?
CHRIS: I would have considered it more as a jokester, because they were all
mainly jokes and jokes that just aren't funny.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm. What made you decide to apologize?
CHRIS: Actually, it was seeing Dorian walk across the line for being teased
or hurt over the racism. And he had a tear in his eye and I knew that part of
that was my fault. You know, on the bus, I'd call--I'd say some jokes or
something, and, you know, it just--it wasn't cool on my...
WINFREY: Racist jokes.
CHRIS: Yeah.
WINFREY: Yeah.
CHRIS: It just wasn't cool on my part.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm. And so you saw him, you saw the tear in his eye, and you
knew when he crossed that line saying that he had been teased because of the
color of his skin, that you were one of those people. What did you feel,
Dorian?
DORIAN: Well, I felt that he was my friend through the whole thing. He's
always been my friend. But I couldn't really be his friend seriously because
he always would slip in these racist jokes and racist comments. And I would
just be asking myself, `Why does he do this if he is considered to be my
friend?" And he would just constantly do it, constantly do it, like...
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WINFREY: So how did it make you feel when he apologized?
DORIAN: When he apologized, that's when I found out that he was really--that
he knew that he was being racist towards me. I thought he was just--he
thought--like he said, he thought it was jokes and things like that. But like
these people say, it really does hurt you.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm. Did it change your...
LING: I remember when Chris was talking, even before he finished, it was
really incredible to see this from so many of the black students in the room
giving him love. It was--it was amazing.
WINFREY: For acknowledging that you had been racist.
LING: Right.
WINFREY: And so, did it change your relationship? How is your relationship
now? How have things been?
DORIAN: Yeah, we're a lot better. We always hang out, call each other. I
love this guy right here.
WINFREY: Yeah. Fantastic. We'll be right back.
(Announcements)
WINFREY: Well, Denise Lilly is the assistant principal at Monroe High and was
one of the people responsible for bringing Challenge Day to her school. So
what is your commitment to keep this up?
Ms. LILLY: To be as proactive as possible. To show the students that I
believe it in my heart. To show them that, you know, no matter who you are,
no matter what you've gone through, are you a person that needs love and needs
caring.
WINFREY: Did it change--did Challenge Day change the way you and other
teachers looked at the students?
Ms. LILLY: Most definitely. I mean, I don't believe the students think that
we see them as students, and I think that some of the students don't see us as
humans, because we're teachers and administrators.
WINFREY: Yeah.
Ms. LILLY: But I believe that we now we see each other for who we really
are. And it's changed us tremendously in our ability.
WINFREY: So what's the next step, Yvonne?
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: The next...
WINFREY: First of all, applause to you for bringing this idea out. Applause
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to you, to you and Rich--for you and Rich for having this idea. Because
what's so great about it, from what I'm seeing, and those of you at home can,
too, it's so simple.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Yeah.
WINFREY: It's just a simple idea.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Yeah.
WINFREY: And I love it because--one of the reasons we--I have--messages I've
tried to get across on this show for years by telling all the stories of
people from every different kind of background is that you are not alone.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Yeah.
WINFREY: And so this message is such a simple message and so powerful the way
you did it. So what is the next step?
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: For everyone, to stay vulnerable, to stay real. And
for not just this school, but every school, to form a team, what we call Be
the Change Teams, and have your entire goal to make everybody stays loved and
celebrated.
WINFREY: So my question is, do you have to continue this like quarterly or
twice a year or once a year in this school?
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Most of...
WINFREY: Because if you don't, then this class, the next class doesn't get
it.
Ms. DUTRA-ST. JOHN: Yeah, most schools do an entire grade level every year.
Kind of like a rite of passage, they wake up and they get to notice what's
going on, choose what they want, the school of their dreams, what would it
look like, and then step into action.
WINFREY: Fantastic. We'll be right back.
(Announcements)
WINFREY: Feels like the whole school on stage, Monroe. OK, if there's one
thing that I'm hoping that everybody takes from the show, it is the power of
possibility, and change that begins with every one of us. So I want to thank
Lisa. Where are you, Lisa?
LING: Right here.
WINFREY: Lisa. Lisa Ling, Yvonne and Rich, thank you for coming up with this
idea. And a big thank you to Monroe High School! Being brave enough to take
this challenge. We'll be following up. And we really want to thank our
friend, Arnold Shapiro, executive producer of "Big Brother," for inspiring
this show today. He showed us that the power of Challenge Day can really
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happen for everybody. So to learn more about it, about Challenge Day, you can
go to oprah.com. As we say goodbye, here is some hope for you.
(Excerpts from Challenge Day at Monroe High School)
WINFREY: Thanks, everybody! Woo! Waiting on a world change starts with you.
Woo-oo!

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