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Ryan Meyer

Reassurance

I took the time to try to be human


On a Sunday afternoon at home
In my bathroom while the rents were away.
The sunlight from the window touched my skin,
Soft, warning me not to be reckless.
I wasnt being reckless,
I was in the act of reassurance.
The tub was filled with tepid water
Only slightly hazy from the half-assed
Cleaning job I attempted to tackle.
Something about cleaning the smooth
White acrylic felt like I was wiping
The insides of my skull, pushing out
All the caked-on pretentiousness,
The ignorance, and the egregious thoughts
That skated about like whispering imps.
My fingers skated, too, atop the water
And it sloshed against the sides of the tub
Waiting for something to greet, to embrace,
To wrap its warm arms around.
Wanting to think no further,
I plunged my head beneath the surface
And listened to the pulsing of blood
Through my ears, the steady thudding
Of my heart in my head
As it fought to keep my lungs from
Flooding themselves with lukewarm tap water.
In those few moments, before I resurfaced
And sat upon the cold linoleum floor,
There was finally a time when I could
Completely hear myself