CHILDREN
AND
D
o women have a choice?
In 1969 I was sitting
in my new house in
Copenhagen with my two
bouncing baby boys of six and
18 months. I had just finished my
law degree and was speculating
over what my life would be
like. Should I seek a career as a
lawyer or civil servant, and
leave the children in daycare
with strangers for many hours
every day? Or should I give up
my career and stay at home
caring for the children? There
was no apparent third option.
When I was 14, I had vowed
to remain single and be indepen-
dent from a man, as all the
women I saw around me were
unhappy and dissatisfied. I was
now with a man in whom I
had confidence, but I wanted
to avoid falling into the same
trap that my mother and other
women of her generation had.
Were there really no other choices
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than a full time career – thus
penalizing the children – or
staying home and making
myself totally dependent in a
sleepy suburb where nothing
was going on?
In 1968 I decided to continue
my studies, now in cultural
sociology, to find out more
about human nature, and in
particular to learn if there
were societies in other parts
of the world, or throughout
history, which had found
better solutions to this dilemma.
I joined the Feminist movement,
which was just starting at that
time. With one baby on my
lap and my husband looking
after the other, I attended
meetings in which women shared
their concerns.
One day I read a newspaper
article in a major Danish
newspaper, ‘Children Need A
Hundred Parents’. The
lightning struck. Of course!
COHOUSING
The Birth of an
International Social
Movement
Pioneer of the cohousing
movement, Hildur Jackson,
describes the positive implications
of this 40 year experiment
and how it all began.
Top: Many women had the same
Hildur & Ross problem. We should create
Jackson with something new. So I took the
two hour old initiative to establish a living
baby Frej, his situation in which several
brothers and families combined private homes
other cohousing with common open space, had
children. no fences, and shared some
facilities – a concept which later
Below: came to be known in English
Hildur & Frej as cohousing.
playing outside Within three years we had
in 1980. created a small cohousing
No. 52 Permaculture Magazine 27
 We designed the community so
there were no hedges between
the houses, we had two giant
lawns for football and games
and we had a common house
and stables. We raised chickens,
tended a large common veg-
etable garden, and had fruit
trees and berries. Quite often
all the men, and occasionally a
woman or two, would play
football with the kids, and all
the other neighborhood kids
too. We had three Icelandic
horses, including one owned
by my dad, which were a lot
of fun. Our neighbours’ girls
helped to look after the horses
(and often babysat our youngest
son). Every Sunday we went
horseback riding in the forest,
often with both boys and
their grandad.
The children had many friends
as Hoejtofte was a natural
center of activity for the neigh-
© David Michael
The adults often supported
each other in various ways; for
example, when one man had a
mental breakdown, three of us
stayed with him for several
nights and days (and stayed
home from their jobs) thus
avoiding his hospitalization.
I believe women are naturally
good communicators, and do
well in community settings.
In communities like ours,
women weren’t suppressed in
any way. Our children learned
many lessons by just being part
of the group and having so
many ‘parents’.
For me this was an important

borhood. We had a common

community of six families and
converted an old farmhouse
near Copenhagen into common
space. The initiative was a
social experiment – a very
successful one – and was called
Hoejtofte after the farm we
bought. This, and two other
cohousings inspired by the
newspaper article, was the
beginning of the cohousing
movement which has now
spread all over the world and
birthed the broader based eco-
village movement. Cohousing
started as a way of creating a
better childhood for children,
a fact which is sometimes over-
looked. Did they achieve that
and what is the situation today?
INVENTING COHOUSING
ALONG THE WAY
We invented the idea of co-
housing as we went along. Living
with six other families and their
children was fun and quite
different from living an ordinary
suburban life, even though it
house where we could meet
and have celebrations, and we
became quite good at celebrating
Above: with music and theatre. On
Children summer afternoons we would
playing in the often run or bike to a nearby
main street lake in the forest and go swim-
at Springhill ming. As the old farmhouse
Cohousing was in constant need of repair,
Project. we held monthly work weekends
which also brought us all
Centre: together. These are some of
Ithaca College the dearest childhood memories
students of our sons. Our life was fun
prepare local and rich. When my husband
foods for dinner. Ross travelled on business,
which was quite often, I never step forward in the process
Below: felt isolated. Twelve years after of achieving equality between
Helping with the first, I had a third son and men and women and it was
the harvesting experienced the joy of our great for the kids. If you ask
at Ithaca first cohousing baby having 12 the children today, they all
ecovillage. parents literally speaking. I want to live in cohousing
could always get help and communities. Some already
having a child this way was a do, although it is as difficult
constant blessing. today as it was then to build
The local school often com- one, for still in Denmark
mented that children from there is little local encourage-
our community were good at ment, no support from our
sharing and solving problems. politicians, and suitable land
They learned direct democracy is scarce. In spite of this
at Hoejtofte as they were part there are more than 200 family
of the decision-making, and cohousings, many eco-
© Laura Beck

was in the middle of an ordinary had many adult role models. villages and many cohousings
suburb near Copenhagen. Responsibilities were shared. for seniors.

28 Permaculture Magazine No. 52 www.permaculture.co.uk

 Though the children of Hoej-
tofte have all moved away now,
many have kept contact. We
continue to meet once a year,
the last three years at the cohous-
ing of Bakken, where one of
the Hoejtofte children now
lives with her husband and
three children. At last count
animal and plant world will consequences of so-called ‘free
allow them to gain respect and markets’ and consumer society
understanding of beings other spreads. People are begin-
than themselves. ning to realize that we must
move forward to a sustainable
CHILDREN IN 2007 and just global society, based
Raising children in Western not on the needs of commer-
society has not become any cial entities and their allies,
easier than in our younger power hungry politicians, but

© Laura Beck
there were 45 of us, with 28 days. All our children now on the needs and desires of real
children under eight years old. have their own children, so I people everywhere
We all learned a lot about watch many children grow up.
conflict resolution, love and The women of my children’s Above: Hildur Jackson trained as a
solidarity. Cohousing commun- generation are under more Boating on the lawyer and cultural sociologist
ities offer an alternative way pressure than before as they all Frog pond at and is an ecovillage designer
to solve social problems with- work full time. Children are Ithaca, part of and writer. She is a co-founder
out involving public institutions placed in institutions from the 176 acres of the Global Ecovillage Network
– and at much lower cost! early on and spend most of the of natural areas and Gaia Education and the
day surrounded by many other and organic author of the book Ecovillage
children and in an immense land available Living which is available from
noise. Their initiatives are to explore. www.green-shopping.co.uk
heavily regulated by what the
institution offers and the In 2004, Hildur Jackson visited
shortage of staff. In their free Below: the Ecovillage at Ithaca in
time children watch a lot of Strawberry New York State and wrote an
television and play electronic picking on article about this innovative
games. They have TV in their an organic cohousing project in PM42.
rooms, gameboys and mobile Community This is currently available as
phones. On TV they see news Supported a back issue (UK £2.95, ROW
of wars and conflicts, violent Agriculture £4.00) see www.permaculture
cartoons and commercials. farm at Ithaca. .co.uk
The food they get is often junk
even if their parents fight and
struggle to get them to eat
properly. Traffic limits their
capacity to roam. I am deeply
worried about conditions
given children in society today.
This way of life is not good
enough to teach children about
© Jim Bosjolie

nature and life and to develop

the kind of democratic, self-
confident, loving people we
OTHER COHOUSINGS need to change the world.
& ECOVILLAGES The cohousing movement,
Although ours was small, and subsequently the eco-
I do believe this is fairly repre- village movement, which I
sentative of what children believe are really just two
experience in other cohousing variants of the same basic
communities. Bakken has a impulse, offer a solution for
small gym which is heaven for children. If for no other reason,
children. Knowing so many we should build them for our
other adults and being welcomed children. I would say that it
in so many homes makes chil- takes a village of at least 20
dren very open and confident. parents to raise a child. Co-
They can move around alone housing communities and
from an early age which makes ecovillages have laid a firm
for more independence. They foundation for the future and
are left to make their own are ready for broader recognition
© Jim Bosjolie

initiatives and create their own and support as the increasing

games. Relationships to the disillusionment with the negative

www.permaculture.co.uk No. 52 Permaculture Magazine 29