Academics

and the LIFE of a student.

The life of a Secondary Student.

Middle school is a relative big leap from primary school. This is a
transition all students have to make, to put it in an analogy, it's
basically when a "big fish in a small pond" is moved to become a
"small fish in a big pond." In many ways, the life of a secondary
student is more complicated, difficult and unappealing. However,
that comes with many moments of success, happiness, growth and
maturity. Secondary school turns the notch up for self-realisation
and removes a layer of the many "safety nets" given to primary
students. Big schools and big societies comes with big
responsibility, a middle school student would have to be more
initiative, responsible and organised to comfortably make it
through the process after transition.
How secondary school is like.
Being in secondary school may seem like your life in getting tougher every minute,
but in fact, the relationship between the hardships and the glorious moments are
proportional, similar to adult life, there's always highs and lows, it's inevitable and
it's what makes your life interesting or different parts comparable.

When you talk about transitioning into secondary school, it's more about slowly
escaping and leaving behind your precious childhood. Primary school is an enclosed
and protected environment, giving you multiple layers of safety nets, which means
that an immense but necessary amount of care, patience, forgiveness and positivity
is embedded into the atmosphere of learning. Education is not particularly stressful
whilst there is much more time to enjoy, play and explore the fantasies of the
childhood world. While year by year children are slowly losing innocence and
becoming less naive, the bridge between Year 6 and Year 7 is unexpectedly large,
something like a sudden drop on a flat road you weren't looking out for.

Transition
Primary Secondary
Excitement Friends Homework
Joy/Happiness Skills/Attributes Assessments
Play Personality Changes Stress
Family Growth and Maturity Activities
Rest Habits and Hobbies Socialise
Innocence Personal Identity Responsibilities
What stays? What comes along? What's new?
There's different things you can bring
from primary school to secondary
school, but once the layer of safety
net is removed, you would eventually
look back and realise some stuff is
gone and some stuff is gained. There's
a limited inventory in life, and you
must drop in order to pick up.
Secondary life in many ways can be
more rigorous and demanding evident
from the chart of the left, but it comes
with psychological and physical
growth and maturity, as things in life
become enjoyable and exciting from
another perspective. Plus, you can't
turn back time, your only choice is to
look ahead and confront the
transition.
The Highs life
There are many things worth living for part of the
of a Secondary Student. The middle school is still
an enclosed and protected educational environment,
but is one notch ahead of the primary, and unlike
university life, it still gives a sense of
interdependence and guidance.

This is exactly the reason why secondary school is

worth living through. As you get older and mature,
you are exposed to new things and are pushed to
explore the new areas in life you have never even
heard of in primary. Experiences can be sensational,
enjoyable, memorable most of the times, but can
sometimes also end up in tragedy or unexpected
depression.

The Lows Along with exposure to new elements of youth and

teenage, there also comes with many drawbacks.
These experiences may be tragic and regretful, but
as soon as you overlook your temporary loses and
value your personal gains and figure out solutions to
problems, everything brightens up.

Sometimes this may not be easy and may take time

to handle, recover and get through. However, when
seen as a learning experience and a lesson that
taught you how to live life correctly or not to make
the same mistake next time, the lows won't be
heavily valued and are more of short-term concerns
and long-term benefits instead.

Examples of Highs and Lows in Middle School

Successes in Academics
These successes are gold and are the ones
definitely work commenting on. The goal of a
student is to learn, gain knowledge and
achieve high grades in school and it should
be an honour when hard work is exchanged
for educational glory.
Victory in Sports
Sports can be very intense and exciting, but
the amount of work and effort an athlete
puts behind his minutes on the platform are
unseen and cannot be described. A win in
any field of sporting is an honour and a great
achievement to the journey of a student.
Friendships (circles and social)
As growth and maturity hit you, having a
group of friends is extremely important to
loosen up after work and spend your pre-
adulthood life with. You will encounter many
great experiences and learn, grow, advance
in life together through these teenage years.
Academics and Sports Failures
These situations are inevitable because
without failures, there's no success. Failure is
what drives personal development and
improvement, and is what really gives the
sweet taste to victory and success. These are
learning experiences and curves that will
eventually bring you to the top.
Relationships
Sometimes you may come across an occasional
heartbreak or a depressing and heart-
shattering rejection. This can lead to
psychological madness or sadness, but it really
has shown that you gave the guts and the
courage to express yourself, giving yourself a
chance to try something new and take the
chances that may not always guarantee
success (risk taking).
Parental Hardships
These problems may not apply to every
teenager, but are still existent to some
families, which is why support and
encouragement is so important to their many
different and complex situations.
 Responsibilities
Self-Management Social Network

Secondary school is more about taking responsibility Sometimes taking responsibility is not only
for oneself instead of handle tasks for others and about caring for yourself, in an interdependent
commit to other people. The enclosed environment community of students, parents and teachers,
still offers a sense of protection and room-for-error, a secondary student is expected to remain in
but encourages taking initiative for self-management positive terms or construct healthy
and organisation. This means that essentially, a relationships by achieving basic expectations
student must be more self-aware and take and build on trust or fulfil their role in the
responsibility for their own commitments, actions, community. This can be hard sometimes
decisions and relationships, all contributing to an because goals and expectations are
educational society or a learning community sometimes mutually exclusive to reality, but
background. giving up only shows a losers mentality.
In a school context, being responsible can be achieved in many ways,
which means that responsibility is a very vague and all rounded topic
of interest. The general statement of being responsible in a educational
perspective would mean committing and appealing to the academic
course and requirements and expectations from the school, teachers,
seniors and also classmates. Being able to complete reasonable tasks
and fulfil your responsibilities is a form of respect and appreciation
towards the contribution and taking part of a role in the school
community.

Basic Responsibilities of a Secondary Student:

Follow the school rules and policies i.e.
dress codes and appropriate behaviour.
Appreciate the efforts of teachers and
other staff members of the school.
Hand in assignments and homework on
time, or else politely ask for an extension
with authentic reasoning.
Interact and collaborate with peers or
classmates with mutual respect.
Bring a positive attitude into the school
community and fulfil roles for
commitments and activities.
Act with appropriate behaviour and
socialise through prejudice-free
methods.
 EQ Vs IQ
EQ is a measure of emotional intelligence, and another important element
towards leading a successful and joyful teenage life. Having the correct
attitude in life is the key to dealing with hardships and also having acceptance
and establishment in the school community, building a reputation for yourself
whilst fulfilling your own emotional cravings and needs.

"Lose like a winner to win like a winner."

Dealing with problems is just another life skill that needs to be
taught, refined and practiced. Whether it's a failure in academics,
sports, social life or relationships, they can all be dealt in a similar
way. There's no problem with being mad when you are hit with
something totally not appetising and motivating in life and letting out
tears or being angry for a moment is completely normal and fine to
be accepted. However, in the long run, dealing with this type of
stress by the means of violence, anger, self-harm, giving out bad
signals do not help the situation, instead, makes the situation worse.

Problems are like a brick wall, everyone has them, but how
are you going to deal with it? They're designed to get in
your way and break you down, tear you down bit by bit. Are
you going to knock down the wall or are you going to just
stand behind it for the rest of your life. This may not seem
like a good analogy, but the message conveyed it basically
to overcome your difficulties and not be oppressed by
them, because life without challenges, is not even life.
Iceberg Theory
Have you ever found a video game that's Successes and Glories on
easy to beat interesting? Challenges are display (what you see)
designed to make your life more interesting
and magnify and amplify your success after
it's massive contribution of defeating your Surface
Failures and Challenges
confidence and motivation. A demanding life overcome (what you don't see)
is a truly exciting one, and the ability to
overcome it, is a nurtured gift by God.

Depression Reflection Improvement Success

Depression is the time to feel bad, sad, angry, guilty about something that didn't go well. It is inevitable
to emotionally express sadness and it is beneficial to your recovery. But this stage should not touched
again after finished and completed or else regret will build up and no progress will be made.
Reflection is the most important stage of looking back at your mistakes and lying down the plans to
look forward to. You should realise what went wrong and how it dragged you back. This time allows
you to plan ahead and look at the issue from a wise perspective to analyse what can you do and come
up with a solution for the persisting problem.
Improvement is a stage that varies in length. This stage allows you to take action and truly redeem
yourself from the mistakes you have made. By doing whatever that recovers you from your anxiety and
depression, it builds you to success next time and strengthens, solidifies the foundation you have build
yourself upon the same issue of failure.
Success is a stage where it may take multiple loops of failures, going through depression, reflection
and improvement multiple times to achieve. The time is short, but it will create a long lasting effect
and prevent you from making the same mistake again, giving your full preparation and making you
ready for the next upcoming challenges in life.
Think before you act.
Part of building a reputation is covered by how you react to situations and what
decisions you make in specific scenarios. Of course, there are certain factors that
are out of limits, like your phobias, fears and natural responses, but some traits
shaped by your personality, environment and experience can impact other's
perception on you and how others treat you in return. Some neutral reactions and
traits should not be changed because that's what make you who you are, but
certain ones that raise a lot of controversy and attention can be altered and
improved through practice and the reshaping of mindsets.

Keeping your cool

Sometimes, especially for boys, when triggered by sensitive
topics or being mentally harassed by other students, they tend
to fire up and get extremely mad. This can result in a burst of
emotions and cause tension between the stakeholders.
However, keeping your cool is extremely important in situations where one party is
feeling attacked or unpleasant by the actions of others, whether it be you or
someone else. This should not be released or resolved in the building of tension, and
additionally should not be expressed through the means of physical aggression or
violence.

How much is too much?

There is a very clear difference between unreasonable aggression and defence or
using defensive movements to prevent the worsening of emerging violence. Blocking
attacks or suppressing a party that has been initiating physical aggression is
necessary, especially protecting yourself or others from getting hurt. However, as a
secondary student, most individuals understand the consequences of getting into a
typical "fight" and how the aftermaths can be dreadful and annoying, from all the
conversations and discussions with school authorities to getting brutally injured
and unwell for school and sporting activities, hurting yourself and others is totally
not worth it.

Holding it back
Event Anger Reflecting Resolution
Vulnerable
Sometimes after the event has happened, holding it back may do you more good
than harm. The stage of anger happening immediately after the event has finished
is when tension builds up most easily, and victims are most vulnerable to engage in
attacks by the thought of "revenge." However, this may come with serious
consequences and unnecessary conflict between two parties (especially friends).
Keeping your cool until the reflection stage gives you a clearer insight and recall of
the situation, while provides an opportunity for a more enhanced, developed and
mature response to the situation, such as but not limited to; apologies or treaties.
 Drama and Mind Games
Arguments and conflict are inevitable in the teenage society, disagreements are
usually caused by the diverging of opinions and the clashes between choices and
decisions made. This often converts into mental stress and anger, caring about
each other's every move but holding a tight grudge to the conflict that has caused
separation between them. This normally happens with close friends or open
enemies, and once in a while, conflicts and arguments can be beneficial to
learning about each other and strengthening a relationship between two people.
This does not apply to everybody, as people who are opinion-driven and have a
strong sense of self-conscious are more likely to be exposed to drama. It is also
important to know how to recognise and deal with them.

Throwing Shade
Throwing shade is a form of indirect aggression, and can vary in seriousness on
a scale. Throwing shade is caused by the inability to forgive and let go of
grudges, causing the attention to shift towards guilting the other party or
indirectly hurting them for self-satisfaction.
THE SCALE OF SHADE
LIGHT MEDIOCRE STRONG
Throwing light shade may not be immediately noticeable and can possibly
blend into the natural character or personality of a person. The way each
person reacts is different, but throwing light shade generally covers areas
such as avoiding having direct interactions, ignoring, looking away in other
directions, speaking quickly or overly concisely or treating you like a
stranger compared to others with "equal identity or importance."
Throwing a mediocre amount of shade should be immediately recognisable,
not requiring much guessing or figuring out to acknowledge the dislike
sent from a particular person or group. Methods people use in this category
may include being rude through words, purposely putting you in a
disadvantaged situation, and giving reactions that release a sense of danger,
fear or vulnerability. (death stares/glances/evil grins)
Throwing strong shade at someone can be immediately picked up by the
victim. The strong flow of hatred and ignorance rushes through the nerves
of the target. This may typically end up in verbal abuse, harassment,
cyberbullying and even worsen to a stage of physical aggression. This type
of shade is normally thrown towards someone who has done something
unforgivable or causing disruption to the hater. This is psychologically
threatening and unhealthy for the human mind and is best to be avoided.
 Dealing with Emotions
The art of forgiveness:
Sometimes holding on too tight to grudges can do more harm than good. Although this
satisfies your ego and makes you feel strong by taking the upper hand of a conflict.
Being able to put down hatred towards someone and forgiving someone for their
mistakes, and harm dealt to you as a victim is an extremely difficult task to
accomplish. By leaping over the hurdle and closing the gap, you are lowering your
sense of consciousness and defensive ability, but with that you are achieving mutual
compensation and peace. Being able to restore a friendship is always better than
losing a friend or making one new enemy. This gives a positive reputation to your
social background and can expand your relationships and connections amongst your
school community.
"Sorry" doesn't mean a thing until you actually mean it.
One more friend is always better than one new enemy.

Regrets:
Having regrets in life is a very common thing. This is formulated and delivered
through actions or decisions made that have not achieved full potential, effect or in
return has brought disadvantages. A regret if a form of burden that comes on one's
shoulders when he or she thinks he "could have" made the current (present) situation
more delightful through changing a past or historical decision implemented into reality.
Constructing a effective and considerate approach to dealing with
stress caused from regrets is important. The mindset and the
mentality plays the largest role in this situation. Regrets are based
on events that have happened and occurred in the past, decisions,
actions cannot be changed since then, there is one and only option
to fix a problem persisting in present time - focussing on the
present and how to approach the problem in the near future.
a)
Reflect on the problem and develop hope and faith to solve the
problem in the present/future.

b)
Leave the past in the past and keep it as a memory, learning
lesson and an opportunity to succeed next time.

c)
Take advantage of the unpleasant feeling and use it as motivation
to do/perform better when the chance strikes again. (preparation)