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Contents
5 Things Every Man Needs in a Relationship.................................................... 4
1. Appreciation .................................................................................................. 5
Why Is It So Hard to Appreciate? .................................................................. 7
2. Give Him Space When He Needs It ............................................................. 10
When a Guy is Stressed ................................................................................11
3. Respect ........................................................................................................ 14
4. Support ........................................................................................................ 16
5. Feeling Like a Winner.................................................................................. 18
Final Thoughts ............................................................................................... 20
Follow Us On Social Media! ............................................................................ 21
Facebook ...................................................................................................... 21
Instagram..................................................................................................... 21
Snapchat ...................................................................................................... 21

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 5 Things Every Man Needs in a Relationship
One key difference between men and women is that women seem
to be much more aware of what they want and need in a
relationshipand arent afraid to express it. Men, for various
reasons, arent always so in tune with what they really need in
order to feel loved and fulfilled in a relationship, and the ones who
are aware will seldom come right out and say it.

It makes sense from an intellectual standpoint. From an early age

women learn to cultivate close, intimate relationships and they
learn what makes them feel cared for and understood. Male
friendships dont usually have the same depth and level of
closeness, so men typically enter the realm of emotional awareness
later in life, usually when they form relationships with women.

A guy generally wont ask for what he needs because a lot of the
time, he doesnt even know what it is. But then when you give it to
him, it feels amazing. He feels appreciated and loved, and he
comes to love you even more.

Problems persist in relationships because guys have different ways

of expressing these desires than women do. So how can a girl
ensure shes giving her guy what he needs so hell stick around for
the long term? While every guy has his quirks and preferences, in
this book we will cover the five things most men want and need in
a relationship.

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 1. Appreciation
Everyone likes appreciation; we all want to be seen and
acknowledged for what we do. But appreciation hits different notes
for men and women. Typically, women want to feel adored and
cherished above anything else in order to feel happy in a
relationship. Men need to feel appreciated and acknowledged. If a
man doesnt feel that, he will either leave the relationship or stay in
it and feel miserable.

Most women don't realize how starved men are for appreciation.
The problem is that we usually love others the way we like to be
loved, and women typically feel loved when a man is being giving
and attentive to her and her needs. Because of that, many women
will be extra giving to their man. While this is very nice and
appreciated, it's not what men really crave.

When a man feels like a woman appreciates him, he will go above

and beyond to make her happy. What a man deeply desires is
feeling acknowledged and appreciated for what he provides. He
wants to feel like his efforts were a success. This applies to
everything he does from taking you out to a fancy dinner to taking
out the trash.

If he takes you out on a nice date, acknowledge and appreciate him

for it and tell him you had an amazing time. Dont just expect
things of him. It doesnt matter if he takes the trash out every
single night, you should thank him and appreciate him for it every
time.

Appreciating a man extends far beyond what he does, its about

appreciating who he is. What a man wants more than anything is
a woman who is happy with him. Thats really it. And a woman who
expresses gratitude and is happy with who he is and what he does
is the woman he wants to commit himself to.

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The more appreciative you are of him, the more connected he will
feel to you and the more he will come to love you. Thats not to say
youre never allowed to be disappointed or upset with him, but
there is a difference between disapproving of an action and
disapproving of a person.

You can express your discontent in a loving way that still conveys
an appreciation for his character, as opposed to conveying it in a
punishing and blaming way that makes him feel bad or guilty. For
example, I know you didnt mean it, I know you were only trying
to be helpful, but sometimes I just need you to hear me out and
give me a hug when Im venting about something upsetting that
happened. This is a much more effective way to express your
feelings than saying, Why do you always have to try and solve my
problems? Why cant you ever just hear me out and be
compassionate? When you take the second approach, he feels
attacked and blamed and he will be even less likely to do what you
want. A little benefit of the doubt can go a long way in
relationships.

The fact is, he really isnt trying to hurt you, but sometimes things
he does will make you upset. And sometimes things you do will
make him upset. When addressing a problem, its best to keep in
mind that neither person is intentionally trying to upset the other.
(And if you are in a situation where you intentionally try to hurt
each otherthen this sounds like a toxic relationship and that is an
entirely different discussion.)

When a woman really sees and appreciates her man, it makes him
feel like the ultimate winner and makes him want to do anything to
keep her happy.

Another important relationship skill is to try to see the intention

behind an action, and appreciate that. Most of the time he isnt
trying to piss you off, he is actually trying to make you happy. His
methods may have been off, but he isnt a mind reader, he cant
always know exactly what it is you want.

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No one is perfect and no matter how great your relationship, there
will be times when he isn't doing something exactly the way you'd
like him to. You'll get a lot further, and do a huge service to your
relationship, if you focus on what he is doing right rather than
focusing on what he isn't.

Why Is It So Hard to Appreciate?

Life can tear a lot of us down. As the years go by, bitter
experiences pile up and our hearts become shrouded with hurt and
pain. The more jaded we become, the harder it is to see beyond the
darkness and feel thankful for anything. A lot of us turn ourselves
into victims in the story of our own lives, and we feel justified in
doing this: we blame our parents, our upbringing, the boy who broke
our heart, the bad economy. Thats not to say none of it is valid, but
when you dwell on all the bad hands youve been dealt, you fuel
the fire of anger and resentment, and this only makes for an even
more miserable experience.

When it comes to relationships, expressing gratitude can be even

more challenging because the stakes are so much higher. Romantic
relationships can cause many emotions to rise to the surface
some are good and exhilarating, and some are bad and rooted in
pain from the past.

All of us look at life through a lens that is colored by our own

experiences and we form certain expectations as a result. When
you measure a guy against this code of expected behavior, he will
always fall short and you will always feel disappointed. The reason
hell fall short is because no one can get it right every single time.

When you think a guy should do something and if he doesnt it

means he doesnt care, then you ignore all the things he is doing to
show he cares. You get all riled up because of a few things that you
(or rather, your unconscious mind) think a man should do when he
loves a woman. You feel hurt and unloved and might start blaming
him for making you feel a certain way.
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When youre in this headspace, you will not be able to appreciate
anything he does and will silently resent him for not doing more. He
can text you back promptly every single time and you will still get
upset the one time he takes a little longer to get back to you.

When both people in a relationship see the good in one another and
feel appreciative, the relationship is filled with love, connection, and
harmony. When one or both partners focus on what the other isnt
doing and take each other for granted, the relationship is filled with
resentment, frustration, and bitterness.

If you want your life and your relationship to improve, you can't
blame circumstances or your partner. Instead, you need to take
responsibility and make internal changes that lead to external ones.
And the most important lesson is to see the good and learn to be
an appreciator.

Try to adjust your filter and see the good. You can take it a step
further and write down the things youre grateful for. Try picking
two things youre grateful for every day, and pick different things
every day. Bonus points if you do this for your guy. You dont even
have to show it to him. Just privately record things you appreciate
about him. When you focus on these things internally, it will radiate
outward and he will feel inspired and uplifted in your presence and
this will make your relationship even better and stronger.

If you want more love from your man, you need to make him feel
loved. The way to do this is to show genuine appreciation for the
things he does and for who he is. Look at the intention, not the
action. He's not going to get it right every single timethat just
isn't possible. But the majority of the time, his intentions are good.
He set out to make you happy, and that deserves to be
appreciated. You don't need to give him anything in return; just
you being happy with who he is and what he does is all he needs
from you.

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Here are some examples of emotional hot phrases for a man
(obviously they will vary depending on the man):

- I really admire how dedicated you are to your job and

appreciate how hard you work.

- You are so committed to causes that are meaningful to you,

and its really admirable.

- I love that you can walk into a room and be best friends with
total strangers, its such a unique gift.

- I appreciate how hard you try to make me happy. I know I

dont always show it, but I notice it and it means so much to
me.

- Thank you for being so helpful around the house, you really go
above and beyond and I dont know what I would do without
you.

And if you get stuck this one is always a winner:

- I admire the man that you are.

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 2. Give Him Space When He Needs It

Showing you care is a good thing in your relationship, being clingy

is notand sometimes there is a fine line between the two. Guys do
enjoy it when you do cute things to show you care, but there are
also times when you need to back off with the attention.

Sometimes guys need alone time, time with friends, or time to

pursue personal goals. Guys are all different with respect to how
much space they need and when they need it, so its important for
you to learn your guys preferences (and your guy should help you
with this by making his preferences clear to you).

A lot of women reflexively panic when a guy pulls back a bit,

accepting full responsibility for the behavior and seeing it as a
reflection of her and his feelings for her. She may react by being
even clingier or more attentive to him, which is the opposite of
what he wants at that moment. Him doing his own thing doesnt
mean he fell out of love with you or is losing interest. Whats more
likely the case is he is working on something important that he
wants to achieve specifically for you.

Maybe hes at the gym working on getting in shape, putting in extra

hours at the office to get that promotion, being socially active with
business networking events or time with his friends, whatever hes
doing he also probably has your benefit in mind. Just like you need
time to unplug and charge your batteries by doing things you need
and enjoy for your emotional well being, he also needs to take care
of his needs so he can be his best self in the relationship.

Most guys are notoriously bad at multitasking and are very goal-
driven, so give him the benefit of the doubt when he needs space,
and dont take it personally when he only has the ability to focus on
the immediate task at hand. If you give your guy the space he

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needs, hell have more energy when hes with you and he wont
resent the time he spends with you.

Spending good quality time together is important in a relationship,

but its equally important to spend quality time apart focusing on
yourselves.

When a Guy is Stressed

One popular and oft cited difference between men and woman is in
the way they handle stress and difficulties. While women typically
seek out their friends and want to talk about it, men would rather
retreat into the proverbial man cave and deal with it on their own.
A woman might get upset when this happens and think he's
shutting her out, but it really has nothing to do with herits just
how he deals with things.

If your guy seems stressed out and begins to withdraw, just let him
be. Don't coddle him or offer unsolicited advice or get on his case
about why he isn't confiding in you. If he wants to talk about it with
you, he will. If he doesn't and you continue to push him, you will
just be another source of stress in his life that he needs to deal
with, and he'll withdraw even further.

Men intuitively know that it isn't easy for women to give them
space when they need it, so if you can do it without feeling angry or
resentful, you'll be the woman who touches him more deeply than
any other.

A man might ask for space in the beginning of a relationship, or

when things are more serious, or even after youre married. No
matter what, it's a horrible feeling and you can't stop your mind
from spinning and fearing the worst. You try to figure out what you
could have done wrong, and you strategize about ways to make
things better and get the relationship back on track. This usually
doesn't work; if anything it makes the situation even worse.

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Here's the thing that's important to realize: men are not women.
The way they process and experience things is different. Taking
space is a natural coping mechanism for most men, just as seeking
out support from friends and loved ones is a natural coping
mechanism for most women.

When a man needs space, it often has little, if anything, to do with

you.

Men dont typically like to talk about their problemsthey see it as

a sign of weakness. A man prides himself on being able to solve
issues and can feel extremely unsettled and off balance when
problems emerge in his own life that hes not able to resolve. Men
will typically view themselves as weak and incapable if they voice
their feelings or lean on other people for help or support. A guy
might do it, but hell typically feel like a loser or weakling for asking
for support or even talking about his feelings. The way women
handle difficult emotions is probably much more psychologically
healthy and healing, but it is what it is.

To cope with whatever stress he is facing, a man will

typically withdraw. He will want to hide himself away until he has
reached a solution. This doesnt necessarily mean hes sitting down
and strategizing about ways to solve the problem. Sometimes hell
just immerse himself completely in something else, like playing
video games for hours on end, working, or watching sports.

Even though your intentions are pure, when you offer up solutions
he feels emasculated. Men need to feel like they are in charge of
their lives, like they are capable of solving whatever comes up. He
prides himself on being able to solve things, and when you try to do
it for him he gets the message that you dont trust that hell be able
to figure it out on his own, and it makes him feel even worse.

When hes under stress, just give him space and try not to take it
personally. If you get angry or frustrated with him, hell just see

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you as another source of stress in his life, and it will put more
strain on the relationship.

Why is this so hard? Even though most women know about the
man cave, they still have a hard time accepting it because women
cope with stress very differently. When a woman is upset, she will
typically want to talk about it with those she feels closest to.
Talking about it is therapeutic, and a solution isnt necessary.

Because of this, if a man doesnt want to talk about his problems,

the woman can take it to mean that he doesnt feel close to her, or
doesnt fully trust her or care about her. She feels shut out
and rejected and may come to resent him for it, thus exacerbating
any problem that already exists. Its important to realize that when
a man pulls back because hes stressed, he isnt shutting you out.
Its just his process, and he will be back and better than ever once
he has a handle on whatever it going on.

If he does come to you, don't try to solve the problem for him. Just
listen. You can offer advice if he asks, but only if he asks.

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 3. Respect
It may sound archaic, but men need to feel respected in a
relationship. This doesnt mean you bow down to him and cater to
every whim. It means you respect him as a person. You respect his
needs, his wishes, his aspiration, his opinions, etc.

In addition to needing to be appreciated, men have an enormous

need to feel respected. This is true of all humans, but usually this
desire burns stronger in men. A man feels respected when a
woman appreciates who he is and what he needs and gives him
space to express himself without making demands on him and
prioritizing herself over him.

Respect means accepting that he needs certain things, even if they

are in opposition to what you want or need. For example, when you
guys is stressed or feeling unbalanced and retreats into his man
cave to sort things out. As we discussed in the previous section,
men don't necessarily like talking through the problem and would
rather work it out on their own and then come back into the
relationship re-charged.

So let's say your guy is having a hard time and needs some time
alone, but you really want him to be open and honest with you and
to share his feelings. Respecting him entails putting what's best for
him above what you want. In this case, it would be giving him the
space to work through his issues even though you would prefer that
he talk to you about it, because that's what's going to be most
beneficial for him.

It also means respecting who he is, how he lives his life, and what
his opinions are. Respect does not look like rolling your eyes when
he says something you dont agree with (or think is the dumbest
thing youve ever heard) and it doesnt look like not at least hearing
him out and validating his opinion.

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Its never nice or fair to make someone feel like an idiot just
because you dont quite see where theyre coming from, and a
really important skill is being able to listen to and respect another
persons point of view.

Guys have opinions and they want to be heard. Guys want to feel
as though they matter in this world, that their ideas are respected.
Guys are programmed to need to feel respected in order to feel
good about themselves.

When you show a guy that you value his opinion, he automatically
thinks you respect him. If you nonchalantly dismiss his opinions as
elementary or even worse, stupid, youre going to crush him, and
relationship problems will ensue.

Now, were not saying dont disagree with your guy because you
should when appropriate just show him that at least in your eyes,
his thoughts, opinions, and emotions are valid and worthy of
respect.

When guys feel respected they feel valued, and the better a guy
feels about himself the more energy and vitality he can bring to
your relationship.

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 4. Support
One of the greatest feelings to a man in a relationship is feeling like
he has a woman in his corner, someone who believes in him no
matter what and sees him for the great man he is and the amazing
man he could be.

There is comfort in knowing that you will be there for him even if
he fails, especially since failure is the hardest thing for men to deal
with.

When you support him and believe in him, and it comes from a true
and genuine place, he feels on top of the world, like he can do
anything. Most women don't realize the enormous impact their
approval has on men. The truth is, your guy is starving for your
approval. When you're proud of him, its a huge driving force that
makes him feel like a winner. Conversely, when you're disappointed
in him, it's crippling and makes him feel like a worthless loser.

When a guy opens up to you and reveals his deepest desires,

recognize that hes being intimate with you. When a guy tells you
about his plans for the future, realize that hes scared youre going
to laugh or think its a stupid idea. Guys are insecure, even though
they rarely show it. Men these days are constantly bombarded and
pressured by societys vision of who they should be, and theres
nothing that deflates a guy more than when his girl doesnt believe
in him.

Guys become emotionally healthy men when they are confident,

when they feel they can achieve, and when they feel like theyre
progressing towards a meaningful goal. And guys will never feel
secure in their ability to live life to the fullest without your support.

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Often women get caught up in trying to turn a guy into what they
want rather than accepting him as he is and encouraging him to
become his best self.

Men can sense when women are trying to change or control them,
and it isn't motivatingits crippling and defeating. It makes men
feel like failures and spurs them do the opposite of what you
wanted.

In any relationship, it's imperative to accept the other person for

who they are, the good and the bad. The worst thing you can do is
to try to turn him into what you need him to be. It may sound
crazy, but women do this all the time!

Practice accepting him for who he is and supporting him in what he

wants out of life. When a woman can inspire a man to be his best
self and get what he wants out of life, he will literally become
addicted to her. This is the woman that stands out from the rest
and who he commits himself to fully.

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 5. Feeling Like a Winner
One of the core understandings about men that we drill into our
readers is that men need to feel like winners in the world. When
you can truly understand this concept, you will fully understand
your man and what he needs.

Heres the most important question men ask themselves in a

relationship: Does being with you make him feel like more of a
winner in the world than he could ever feel like without you?

A mans need to feel like a winner colors everything he does. Its

the reason he doesnt text back, its the reason he withdraws, its
the reason he wont commit, its the reason he doesnt give you the
love you want. Men move towards what feels good, and they move
away from what feels bad. Its really as simple as that.

Men are typically goal oriented and single-focused. This is

something weve all heard before, and most women know that men
arent as skilled at multitasking. But lets go deeper and look at the
reason.

The reason men are so focused and single-minded is because a

man gains his sense of significance based on his ability to have an
impact on the world. This doesnt mean relationships arent
important to men (they are), but in order for a man to feel good
about himself and his life, he needs to feel like a winner. And when
he feels like a winner, he can be the best man possible in a
relationship. When he feels like a winner, he is at his absolute best.
When he feels like a loser, he is at his absolute worst.

When a man feels like hes winning at making you happy, he goes
out of his way to make you happy.

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Resentment is poison for a relationship. Maybe youre mad at him
and maybe its justified, but harshly criticizing him or focusing on
the negative will only make him feel like a loser. Once he feels like
a loser, hell start resenting you, which will in turn cause him to do
things that make you resent him, and the cycle will continue.
Someone needs to be the one to put a stop to it. While it isnt
always easy, it is so worth it and will make such an incredible
difference in your relationship. Being compassionate and loving is
always the solution. Being negative and critical always causes more
problems than it solves.

When you understand where the other side is coming from, it melts
the resentment away and you are able to tune into them from a
more compassionate place. When a man feels like a winner, he is
the man of your dreams. He is the loving, attentive, giving partner
who makes you feel amazing. When he feels like a loser, he causes
you nothing by grief. Hes withdrawn, sullen, and stuck in his own
head. As a woman, you have enormous power over your man at
your disposal, more than you even realize. Just empower him and
help him win, and he will be everything you want him to be!

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 Final Thoughts
The purpose of this book is not to place blame or to encourage you
to bend over backwards to please a man. You are doing yourself an
enormous disservice if you interpret our advice like this. The gift
were aiming to give you is that of understanding and knowledge.
And as they say knowledge is power.

Now you have the power to know what it takes to truly connect to a
man and create an amazing, happy, loving relationship. Men dont
always know what they want or need in a relationship, but when
those hidden needs get met they feel amazingthey feel like they
finally found that special woman who just gets them.

At the end of the day, all of the things we discussed in this book
will come effortlessly and naturally to you if you are in a healthy
place emotionally.

The most essential ingredient to having an amazing relationship is

to love yourself and love your life. When you can check those
things off the list, then everything else falls into place. It doesnt all
fall on you and if things dont work out its not all your fault. A
relationship is a partnership, its about working together and
creating a deep and meaningful connection.

When you are able to understand the other person a little more,
and tap into what they really need in order to feel happy and
fulfilled, then you are at a major advantage and will be well on your
way to finding that rare and amazing lasting sort of love.

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