TOO FUN#2

TOO HUGE!

FAIRPORT CONVENTION
CHILLSPAGANS SCRAWL-MOVING
TARGETS-LATIN SPRING 1988 $2.50
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N IM IS R ID E N D U S
N IM IS ING ENS!
IIVERMCMLXXXVHI

EDITOR ES
PATRICK AMORY
GEORGE BOULUKOS
EDITOR HABITORUM
IVAN KREILKAMP
ORDINATOR
PATRICK AMORY Hi Assholes. Lissen: I hate rock. I really think it sucks.
Nothing is worse in my mind than a genre of music that
ADMONITIO breeds losers like, for instance, Byron Coley. Here's a
guy who spends his whole life emulating his hero, MOJO
NIXON, winds up looking exactly like him, and then what?
IVAN KREILKAMP Well! The trends change, and suddenly every second thing
out of Byron's mouth is "Mojo sux! Mojo sux!" It's nice
that he suddenly figured that out at the age of forty-five.
Sad. But that's just a for-instance. Lissen primarily to
ARS CONTINGENS the wads of bullshit flying off the presses and into the
racks of places like Freebeing or Jewbury Comics. FUCK!

CONRAD CAPISTRAN If the stupid collegiate lame-fucks buying Front 242

records and trying to cash in on the 70's revival by
wearing bell-bottoms and smoking pot weren't bad enough,
we have the nerds who are still into fucking HARDCORE! JEEZJZ!
CONTRIBUTORES But the REAL fuckin' reason is that NOT listening to
anything is more enjoyable than listening to the average
good rock record. Like, in order to enjoy some obvious
JONATHAN MARX talents like Dylan .or fuckin' the Beatles (who ARE wonderful,
so fuck off Hipster!!!) you fartsacks have to buy into
their absurd mythologies; on the one hand, the "genius"
GERARD COSLOY myth, or on the other, the "Popularity-As-High-Art"
myth. Who cares? Who wants to make the effort?? Why not
read a fuckin' BOOK! Well, you wouldn't. First of all,
THADDAEUS TEKELL your attention span has long ago been dulled to the point
where you won't even be able to pick up the entirety of
this rant in one sitting. Jesus. Lissen to something
S. CLAY WILSON WORTHWHILE maybe. Folk. Jazz. Mozart. Maybe some real blues
(not just Diddley or Zep). After all, Robert Johnson
records still cost a mere four dollars at Tower.
JON EASLEY The best thing that comes out of your effort to stay
hip is an ability to be more snide and condescending
less time. How long can I worship sublimated adolescent
PETER BAGGE libido? How long will I keep on scraping together every
last cent to buy more records to file away and forget?
I'm bored. I don't know, I give up, right NOW.
CHRIS MARX
DAVID GREENE George Boulukos
TFTH BOOKS (Patrick & Ivan Kreilkamp)................ ............. 2
TFTH MAIL (Sundry letters from the fanzine elite)................. 4

-CURTIS* PAGANS INTERVIEW (Patrick & George)................ ............... 6

ON MR. ALBINI (Patrick)............................................ 9
STIGLIANO MUST DIE! (Patrick)...................................... 10
VEGETARIAN CAVEMAN (Thaddaeus Tekell)............................. 11
MOVING TARGETS INTERVIEW (Patrick, George, & Ivan Kreilkamp)..... 12
ON COLLECTING (Patrick)............................................ 23
. raTOO.J^UN TOO HUGE! TFTH FOOD (Patrick & George)....................................... 24
THE STRANGE MIRACLE OF CHOICE (Conrad Capistran).................. 25
i vf xAgRICK AMORY CHILLS INTERVIEW (Patrick, Jon Easley, & Chris Marx)..............27
wl^ggBLIZABETH ST TFTH SPORTS (Gerard Cosloy)........................................ 35
FAIRPORT CONVENTION: THE FIRST FIVE YEARS (Patrick)............... 36
**iN-EWm YORK i iNY -10012 SCRAWL INTERVIEW (Ivan Kreilkamp, Conrad Capistran & David Greene)48
TWO FAT BOYS (S. Clay Wilson)...................................... 51
Nimis Ridendus Ninis Inoens! apparet tertio quoque mense. TFTH FASHION (Ivan Kreilkamp).................... ................. 53
TFTH RECORDS (Patrick & George).................................... 56
Omnia contenta 'le^e^s^hcta suntjc MCMLXXXVIII, nec transcribenda
TFTH LIVE (Ivan Kreilkamp & Patrick)...............................79
sunt quocumque modo sine ilicentia scripta. Pretium $111 precente BACK TO NATURE WITH BUDDY BRADLEY (Peter Bagge)................... 80
pecunia soluti. Opinionibus contributorum Nimis Ridendus Nimis
I n q e n s ! obnoxius non est; the best pieces are not in the contents:issue #1 long sold out
address after July 31, 1988:39/Marshal St. Brookline MA. 02146
you may say just what you will; we'll have our hare and pheasant too

u r n
BOOKS
AWAY FROM THE PULSEBEAT fanzine (Redd Kross cover) '88
Gorgeous layout# precise photos# and (yawn) a giveaway
single do not excuse eleventh-grade prose and the total
absence of judgment. Art Black may not have bought completely
into the Chris Stigliano bigot-book of rockism (Art likes
Nikki Sudden# whereas for some reason Chris can't really
appreciate Nikki's post-Swell Maps work)# but he treads
the narrow line of American anti-intellectual cool. Not
that you can tell that any other kind of music exists.
Art has no time to spend wasting effete music# so he
mostly reviews records he likes. He likes them a lot.
Differentiation is slim. In this issue he likes more records#
including Feeding Frenzy (!) and Smokin' Dave & The Premo
Dopes (!!)# his writing parades unconvincing macho ("If
she came to my door with a singing telegram# I d hit her"
and "Fuck you very much")# tumbles to some cheap detective-
story/SF-Ellison/Robinson syntax tricks ("The maw widens.
In tumbles you" and "Hell# it takes a lotta alcohol just
to listen to it. Hie.. Excuse me")# talks down to his readers
to an unimaginable extent (the "how-to" parts render the
Feedtime interview unreadable# plus: "Duh yeah# but what
duz 'Dipsaportionment' mean") (and for the moment forget
the editorial that begins this issue# since how deserving
readers are of condescension isn't the issue yet)# disguises
that he has nothing to say about his raves by using
(capitalized) terms ("Punk#* "Pop#" "Rock & Roll")# and#
really# has nothing now to toll ino. Since Art's a little
more knowledgeable musically# Pulsebeat's a little better
than generic zines like the Pope and Buttraq# but not by
much. (Patrick)
APOCALYPSE CULTURE (Amok Press) '87
I love these cultural terrorists who think they're skewering
compassion and wimpfaced prudery by taking ho-hum modern
concepts like violence and sex to extremes. Of course the
Albini-educated Mike McGonigal pointed me toward this
one: it centains an interview with Peter Sotos of the
much-publicized Pure magazine. For thousands of years
people took child-rape and sadism for granted power was
where you found it. Now that it's the twentieth century#
after seven decades of humanitarianism# people can glorify
these precepts and feel like they're real big (not that
they ever died out as day-to-day events in two-thirds of
the world anyway). Yeah# I have a liberal background.
I'm fascinated and horrified. But it's got the same
ephemeral impact as a splatter flick nothing lasting,
nothing emotional. Just like the brief hard-ons these guys
get. With seventy years to go, I hope to spend them on
something more satisfying. The chapters on lycanthropy
and eugenics are terminally boring (though I did enjoy the
fact sheet of the "Society For The Eradication Of Television.
I plan to join). A waste of time. (Patrick)
MARK BEYER Agony (Raw/Pantheon# 1987)
I picked up my copy of Agony at the awesome Bookworld#
New Haven's only competition with Wa-wa's and the Store
24 in the open-24-hours-a-day category# except that instead
of aspirin, cold soda and prophylactics# Bookworld carries
avant-garde literature and comic books? pornography and the
occult. Mark Beyer# like the better-known Art Spiegelman
(of Maus fame), is an artist from Ra w . Agony is a deadpan
narration of the tribulations of Amy and Jordon# two
protagonists in a hilarious world of terror and pain. The
black and white art is futuristic primitive, with figures
that look like scary African masks or zombies, and simple
dark and patterned backgrounds. One frame has a receding
room lined with malevolent fish peering from the walls,
and Jordon running through it crying "I saw him go down
this corridor. He's headed for the fish feeding tanks!"
"He" is a hideous ghoul who ran off with A m y s head. It's
a vision of solitary figure seeking his only companion in a
world of narrow# constricting space# claustrophobic rooms
and extended lines that point toward the inexorable next
step-in a nightmare. ,Especially funny are the little
headings above individual frames# explaining "soon,"
"shortly#" or "seconds later" as another unbelievable
catastrophe occurs.
The book starts with a lumpy boss telling Amy and Jordon
2
that "you've both been fired from your jobsdue to gross
incompetence" and ends with two of them at rest in an apart
ment they crashed into after being lifted up and dropped
by a giant flying insect# the leader of a race of hostile
desert creatures. The apartment contains a lease made out
in their names? "I don't understand how this happened but
it's great," Jordon comments. But as they lie in bed
wondering if "maybe everything will finally be okay now,"
a wolfish figure with a dripping knife is opening their
door.
A lot of terrible things happen to Amy and Jordon, but
^fery once in a while something good happens which is just
enough to give them the strength to keep going. When *
Jordon gets the romantic notion to go "live off the land"
on a "remote island#" they end up getting captured by
natives. It looks like they're going to be eaten# until
there's a sudden explosion, apparently from a nearby
power plant, which kills all the natives but leaves
our heroes alive. Jordon attributes their survival to
their "resistance to toxins." Later# however# Amy turns
into a "human skeleton#" and eventually her head swells
up with blood and explodes# ruining their apartment.
Amy and Jordon's moving declarations of stoic loyalty
and perserverance in the face of such disasters give
Agony's pitch-black humor a depth of sympathy. "Time goes
so quickly and it's important that we at least try to make
something of our lives," Amy says? "we can't expect too
much from other people# but may we'can improve ourselves
in some way." "I have thoughts that can't be encompassed
inside my mind," she declares as her troubled head flies
up into the air. Jordon and Amy never show surprise or
self-pity# never dare more than a quiet hope that things
might improve. They are unassuming normal people#trying
to make the best of it in a twisted hell. (Ivan Kreilkamp)
LP HARTLEY The Go-Between (Hamish Hamilton, UK) '53
LP Hartley portrays children tormented by self-doubt,
fully-rounded individuals whom adults treat like toy puppets.
The Go-Between takes place in 1900. Leo, an imaginative boy#
spends the summer at a friend's country estate. Gradually#
the young lady of the house wins his admiration and coaxes
him into carrying messages to her farmboy lover. Leo is
too naive to understand what he's doing, and when he finds
out# he's crazed with guilt. However# he's so constricted
by the manners and class attitudes of the time that he
can't obey his best instincts and quit taking tho messages.
At the climax of that brilliant July he wins prestige at
cricket by thwarting the farmboy's victory: inside# he's
sweating with fear. Evil preys on ignorance, and at the
end the love affair solidifies into a horrible picture of
physical satisfaction. The trauma kills Leo's thirst for
life# and he is to live thereafter a "cindery creature,"
a shell. The construct, of an old man rediscovering his
childhood diary, is awkward? the writing occasionally precious.
But the hastening tragedy raises up a choking claustrophobia#
and the imagery is piercing: "The grey# liquid light that
lay like rainwater on roofs and trees flowed softly into
my small# tall room." The reader is pulled along into
Leo's shadowy, brilliant memories, a world of sunshine
and hoat. Tho view into a child's personality is clear and
untrammelled. (Patrick)
MATTHEW LEWIS The Monk
The Gothic novel arose in England in the middle of the eight
eenth century, and its haunted castles, ghosts and murders
provided pure escapist entertainment. A common theme is
the link between sexuality and destruction. This novel,
written in 1796 by a nineteen-year old boy, has a lot
in common with horror movies. In Halloween or Friday The 13th#
horny teens get what they deserve at the end of an axe,
and you're invited to watch them both having sex and getting
sliced up, with the same voyeuristic pleasure.
The Monk, similarly, is unbelievably puerile. The
confused author has his characters haunted by bleeding
nuns, buried underground, tortured by a vindictive prioress,
raped by a lust-crazed monk. The many plot strands are
impossible to summarize? the central story concerns the
gradual descent into total depravity of the monk Ambrosio,
\hom everyone thinks*is a saint until the final pages.
Ambrosio first slips from the path of virtue when he
inadvertently sneaks a glance at a woman's breast: "His
eye dwelt with insatiable avidity upon the beauteous Orb,"
and from then on he is a slave to his passions. I get
the feeling that the author spent a lot of time trying
to look down his sister's frock or something, because
breasts seem to pop up a lot. Later, Ambrosio is attempting
to refuse an offer to use black magic to capture the vir
ginal object of his lust, but then he sees, in a magic
mirror, the girl about to step into a bath: a bird "flew
toward her, nestled its head between her breasts, and
nibbled them in wanton play." At this, of course, Ambrosio's
"desires were worked up to phrenzy," and he gives in.
Not one but two young women in The Monk are buried
alive in tombs. One is the poor Antonia the girl with the

bird between her breasts whom Ambrosio poisons anu puts
into a temporary coma. Everyone assumes she is dead, and he
keeps her locked up in a tomb, where she is left "to linger
out a life of misery in a narrow loathsome Cell, known
to exist only by her Ravisher, surrounded by mouldering
Corpses, breathing the pestilential air of corruption..."
A similar fate is that of Agnes, a nun who gets
pregnant, a sin which so enrages the prioress of the convent
that Agnes is secretly entombed and provided with just
enough food and water to keep her alive. She gives birth
to her child, who dies immediately; Agnes refuses to give
it up, however, and she holds it to her breast even when
it has become "a mass of putridity to every eye, a
loathsome and disgusting Object."
The Monk is non-stop fun; the author never lets things
get dull for a minute. In this universe, sex, even when
it's between two devoted lovers, always loads to a horrible
end. Religion and virtue often conceal hideous twisted
souls, and the devil is always waiting around the corner,
ready for you to slip up. (Ivan Kreilkamp)
NEAT STUFF comics #9 (Fantagraphics Press) '88
Peter Bagge's stories are becoming more realistic and
effective. Unlike the old Bradley family destruction and
torture scenarios, this Bradley-devoted issue deals with
the familiar problems of non-conformism and misanthropy.
Buddy, an acne-scarred sixteen-year-old, hates his family
and his friends, but for lack of anything better to do,
and the vaguest of romantic interests, he attends a massive
frat-party with a. couple of pals. It's as awful as anjtiing
you actually went to in high school, and after enraging
a couple of jocks by trying to change the Run-DMC record,
he peels out to visit some hippy he met in a downtown
record store. The dialogue is perfect (sister Babs, to
Mom when Buddy w o n 't.introduce his date: "What a homo!"
"Babs!" "Well he is!"), the characters complex (cheerleader
Wendy obviously has a drinking problem? nerdy Melissa
seems ready to do anjtiing), the music talk ridiculously hip
("How 'bout you, dude! You afraid of hardcore, too?" "It's
alright, some of it..."), and the drawings liquid splashes,
exploding with dismay or anger. (Patrick)
ROBERT PINGET Passacaglia (Red Dust, $6.95)
ROBERT PINGET The Libera Me Domine (Red Dust, $10.50)
Begin with the slim Passacaglia; this French writer's dense
and forbidding work is best taken in small quantities.
All of Pinget's fiction deals with a small town named Fantoine
or Agapa, exact location unknown; time, perhaps the
mid-50's. Fantoine, untouched by modernity or trends, could
almost be late nineteenth century, or, occasionally,
medieval. Both books are dominated by the ruminations of
the "master" the Passacaglia are his notebooks who lives
in a manor house or hall and exercises vague authority
over the mass of gossiping townfolk and peasants. However,
seeing as there are also a mayor and a tax-collector, his
position is nebulous. A man has died, on a dung heap near
the master's window. Is the man a village idiot? Did a
child find him? Or a neighbor? Or the master himself? Or
is it the master who has died? Did a servant mutilate the
corpse? Was the neighbor lying? A host of possibilities
exists. The book is not helpful in figuring them out. As
the story progresses, in Pinget's exact descriptive prose,
the same event is described over and over again, as by the
various townfolk, and in the translation it alters slightly
every time. Since nearly everyone has heard a different
version, within twenty pages it's completely unclear what
did happen, or if anything happened at all. Throughout
runs the small-town fear of things foreign or odd, and
the corresponding desire for change and event.* Connecting
the different passages of description are sentence fragments
that throw light on the situation or point to the muta
bility of things: "Careful, you never know." "Hundredth
repetition." "Of that dreary, monotonous year." Pinget
slips in and out of country voices and colloquialism
with ease, yet there are no slang pointers that tie down
the narrative to any specific period. His forbidding military
bearing in the back-cover photo seems to emanate passion
for precision, something all the events in Passacaglia lack,
summarized in the lovely connector, "Dissipation of a haze,
semblance of a line."
The Libera Me Domine is an exact person's nightmare.
Three times the length of Passacaglia, it addresses a similar
nebulous tragedy: a young boy, perhaps the Bianle boy, or
the Magnin boy, or the Ducreux boy, was possibly run over
by a lorry or drowned or sexually violated in the woods where
his mother and father had taken him on a picnic, "though they
loathed picnics, never went on them." The book is much more
explicit on character and names, and as it opens, a personage
emerges: Old Lorpailleur, the schoolteacher, a slightly mad
old thing who almost got run over by the lorry that struck
down the Ducreux boy. She is sour and strange, an object
of endless digust and fascination for her neighbors. Of
course, as the story continues her character changes so
completely that it's unrecognizable. Someone says optimistic
ally, "It'll all come out in the end," though someone elses com
ment is closer: "This network of gossip and absurd remarks
had conditioned our existence to such an extent that no
stranger could have resisted it for long...If he had come
to foJlcw the trade of baker he would inevitably have
branched off into that of child killer, for instance." In
this obscure rural vision, everyone becomes everyone else
in a web of talk. It's difficult to read The Libera for
long periods of time, though highly rewarding. When you
put down the book, characters have come to life, others
have vanished, and you have no idea what just occurred.
I t s a complete disaster if you leave the book too long,
however. You lose track completely and the only course is
to start again. Not inappropriate. (Patrick)
STRANGE THINGS magazine (Bam-Caruso) '88
Like most printed product these days, Strange Things is
heavy on glitz and light on content. Laid out like a work
of art, and written like a junior-high English paper, the
pictures of Syd Barrett, the unreleased Krazy Kat strip,
the endless bits of ephemera about the Kinks, Family, the
Sorrows, etc., and yes, even the paper stock and four-color
separations that don't exist in this country, are worth the
pricey tag. Brian, Hogg has a curious command of the English
language, and misprints are rife. (Patrick)
eiocv4^eo,
torefcs.
3
TFTH R ecalling th e se b e a u tifu l
m o m e n ts together
MAIL
Dear TF, TH:

I Know you're not a sports magazine but I have this article

here I've written about the Red Sox that I think is really
good and I can't send it to any sports mags because there's
swearing in it etc. I think it appeals more to your audience
actually although it's about the Red Sox while you're in New
York (not that far away). Anyway, actually I am interested
in doint rock, sports, or anything else articles for you.
I have written before but you have as of yet not replied.
If you have anything to say, call me at 617-643-5687.

Joe Harrington, Arlington MA.

(This is so excellent, we don't even have to make "lunch-

money" jokes anymore to have a good time. I especially like
the part about "New York, not that far away." Brilliant PA)

Dear Patrick:

I must disagree with your editorial somewhat. True, the Swans

a n d it s n o t a n import
are a one-note joke, not very funny, but there's room
for Sonic Youth and the Butthole Surfers in my collection.
"Dissonance" is strictly in the eye of the beholder, so
Another Smash from
Red Rhino U.S. m RED RHINO
be careful when you lump three different entities together.
[etc.]...Also one question, how can you enthusiastically hype Exclusively manufactured and marketed by
Skrewdriver? Their lyrics hark back to the redneck hick high
school macho mentality I endured for 4 years in southwestern Fundamental Music
Michigan. I'm sorry, but you should really call bands like
Skrewdriver on their shit. Yeah, buy records by Skrewdriver LP, Tape & Compact Disc available via mailorder. $7.98
just because their right-wing slant is "different." Sorry, postpaid for LP & Tape. $13.98 for Compact Disc.Just send us
but there's an awful lot of fucked-up people out there whose a check and wellset you up.
fantasies send Skrewdriver their $6.50 so they can indulge
their sick "white power" fantasies. Your reviews praise them
to the skies without really defining what they're about.
So the singer's got "conviction?" So did Hitler. So did Stalin.
So did Mussolini. I'm not trying to make a political
argument about this, but you know where those folks' bonviction"
led us!
SOME KINDA FLASHBACK...
Ralph Keibutski, Lansing MI.
THE BATFISH BOYS
(Listen here, you black faggot: I do n t "hype" anything. I
praise what gives me gut pleasure and I hate what leaves me LURVE
cold...Butthole Surfers are dissonant often and so are the
Clean; I dislike one and enjoy the other. What sucks is
people like you who like what I hate...Hitler was probably
a better show than the Dutthole Surfers; Stalin probably
didn't have much conviction. Your midwestern slang sucks, too
PA)

Pat:

Re: Praise for Blurt, & Too Fun Too Huge...real boss
publication! Partic: Gitter "Poetry," Gov Issue Family
Tree and pejorative scathing crit of S. "Youth"...
reckon I'll be wingin' a forthcomin' yr way post
print feat: Breaking Circus, Couch Flambeau, Urge
Overkill "Tour Diary," Albini dissertation re: "Count"
Bishops, more M. Gerald fiction. Happy Flowers, etc...
Correction: Spicer's a virtual Bunyan's measure from
Mpls. Pop. 909...

Mike Ehlers, Spicer MN.

Who are you calling a faggot, son? The next time I see you A New American Album. . .
I will rip your testicles off. The problem is, asshole,
this Curtis won't heed any of our requests because he is a All the Vintage Material.
mongoloid. Thanks for the advice, and I'm sorry about All we did was do it.
the large volume of mail you have to answer. Hope to see
vour smiling face soon. Another quality
Twilight Recording.
P.S. I bet you don't even have any testicles to rip off. Exclusively manufactured and
P.P.S. Say "hi" to George and tell him to stay away from marketed by Fundamental Music
"Connie-lingus," since she obviously has Anthrax. Post Office Box 2309, Covington GA 30209
Jon R. Lorsch, Cambridge MA. LP & Tape available via mailorder: $7.98 postpaid. Write to us
and well set you up.

(Jon What's wrong Johnny? Can't get any 'Taang? Too Bad!
Maybe try Helen AGAIN! GEB)

4
Patrick
Thanks a lot for the Desert Island Discs list. I'm not really
gonna print any* I just wanted to see if your musical
taste was as lousy as TFTH indicated. Do n t feel bad that
your list was rather long, Cosloy's was more than twice
that length. To think, Patrick, he'd have so many records
with him, he wouldn't have room for the stereo!.'!!! Ho! Ho!
But when you think about it, isn't indicative of the way life
is?! Ho! Ho!
Bill Callahan, Pasadena MD.
Patrick
The name Patrick can be divided up into so many nicknames.
There's the obvious Pat. The slightly less obvious and much
more effeminate Patty. Another possibility is the whimsical
Trick. But here we have our Patrick, Patrick Amory who
prefers to go by his full name so that each and every time
we read or hear it we are reminded of the many splendiferous
variations available. We believe this displays a streak
of unselfishness in Mr. Amory that is virtually non-existent
in today's punk youth.
So what, then, are we saying? That Mr. Amory should be
given some sort of award or at least be given a great deal
of respect? No no no, Patrick wouldn't stand for it. In
his words, "just ct l me Patrick."
Bill Callahan, Pasadena MD.
Dear Patrick
[excerpts from the twelve page letter]
There was a number of things I learned from your writing for
instance, it's been years since I even looked at the Happy
Squid sampler much less played it, and thus I had no recollection
of a Danny & The Doorknobs track on it. Considering that record's
rare status and lack of availability even among collectors,
it isn't likely I would have read that anywhere else...
vas disappointed at the end of my read to discover tht you're
the fifth writer I've come across who seems to hate my writing
Conflict, Jet La g , an Ohio mag I forgot the name of),
that's the way it goes, I guess. I am surprised you found my
contribution to Sporadic Droolinqs to be so boring, in light
of the fact that 95% of it is interviews, and that 3 of
my 4 subjects are people you'd be naturally interested in
(Nils you gave a good review to, Agent Orange is on your
want list, Rank & File interview was as much about the Dlls
as anything)...
As to your telling me to get with it, I thought that was funny.
If you know that the actual release date of "Class War" was
December 1977 (Christ, 9 years ago, how do you remember the
month?), thats something. For my own part, I bought the single
in February 1978 (this I know 'cause I bought one for myself
and on for my friend Jeff whose birthday is in Feb.), so I've
always considered it a '78 release, not knowing any different.
But you know, things (and I) were a lot different then. There
was but one distributor, Jem, and they were (as they are now)
horrible. There was one record store, Bleecker Bobs, and
really only Slash to enlighten a 15 year old from New Jersey coming
in once a month on the train, usually only when there was a show
to see often [much more blathering about Zed mail order, various
name shows attended, etc.]...
Really, do people who have a different taste than yours have
"bad taste." Perhaps "Bad Taste" could be made into something
less personal...
P.P.S. Please do pass along my congrats to John. I think he's
a good guy and I'm glad he found a way out of his difficulties.
It's so familiar...
Yours, Jack Rabid, NY NY
(...no way, you've got the Happy Squid Sampler? Sick!...it's
an affectionate kind of hate, Jack, like the feeling you have
for that really large roach you find under the pot in the sink...
Agent Orange haven't put out a record worth owning besides
the first single and the first album, Nils suck now as did that
early EP issued when the last issue of the mag came out, Rank &
File suck dog dick and what's more worthless than talking
to a current band about their musical activities ten years
ago? Like they even give a shit, not that bands have anything
to say in any case, interviews suck...oh well really, back
when I was in London seeing the Pistols and the Buzzcocks at
the Roxy and having cocktails with Howard Devoto, it was very
easy to get Dangerhouse singles and I can remember quite clearly
it was a party at the Cat Woman's house when I opened my promo
copy of "Class War" and Rikki from Satan's Rats leaned over me
with his horrible breath and said, "Pat, wot the fuck is that
rubbish?" it was Christmas Eve 1977. Pity you were stuck in
New Jersey at the time...No, all musical judgements are subjective
thus if I disagree with your taste you have BAD TASTE as far
as I'm concerned, which you do...who's "John?" What "difficulties?"
I'd really like to know...PA)
Dear Patrick:
Elvis lives! Does Too Huge? Can't find it anywhere at
SEE HEAR. Did you sell the MAC? So far, youjre the only
small press alternative music mag that has its act together
enough to be using desktop publishing. You and George have
a great penchant for reviewing records, too.
Peace, SS, NY NY
P.S. TV SUCKS.
(SS Desktop publishing is a thing of the past, as you can
see, typewriters are far superior and more readable too:
what about Jet Lag? Or Greed? Buttraq? Three more reasons
to get out of the DP scene...George and I have a great penchant
for reviewing records and putting out magazines, yes. TV's
great! What are you talking about? PA)
PATRICK
Just bought the debut ish of yr thing. I was sorry to
see that I don't own all of yr wants. If I might make
a correction, however, Heartwork #1 is a 7" by R. Widen,
featuring 4 songs. The EP's title is "No Religion (No
Reply)." Fuckin' happenin' "bk" section too: Plante, Tolkien
& Welch a frog, a simp & a crip. Cool.
Yr. v. best pal,
Byron Coley, Somerville MA.
dear Patrick
a great magazine arrived yesterday and by last night i d
eaten it cover to cover, yeah, the 'zines up your way
do tend to bitch about each other, d o n t they. I'd like
to meet some of those people.
for the moment there is no intention to do another
garage. I'm tired, love writing and telling people what's
going on down here but it's all the hassle with selling the
thing, invoices and receipts make me dizzy, and my fulltime
job is as a journalist with radio new Zealand and that
gives me word fatigue & by the time i get home the last
thing i want to do is see a typewriter.
but a friend of mine, bruce russell, is getting
together some sort of magazine with creative Writing and
stuff and i will probably write stuff about whet's going on
down here and review all the f. nun stuff that's come
out since garage 6. 3 bands to watch in dunedin at the
moment, the straitjacket fits (shayne carter), the fromms
(led by peter gutteridge: imagine hank williams having
swallowed a lump of suicide vinyl) and david kilgour's
new band...oh...his brother hamish is also playing with
a former gordon and they're supposed to be great but
i haven't heard them yet.
how do you get the time? do you do this fulltime...do
the forced exposure people? ...if you've got any of that
conflict mag lying around that you could xerox i'd appreciate
some. i have a toy love tape that i'll copy for you and
put the early singles on it. in return you could tape
anything by that chap eugene chadbourne for me.
the tall dwarfs are way better than t. love...who
were a little 70s at times, and you've got to hear the
great unwashed album if you haven't cos it's GREAT...
the fromms record (actually they've just changed their
name to snapper) is gonna be a killer, some way off yet.
hang on.
Richard Langston, Dunedin New Zealand.
Dear Patrick,
Rome is simply incredible, but very complicated, topographically
speaking. Theres all this ancient, medieval and modern shit
all piled up on top of each other and it's all pretty hard
to sort out. Last week I flew to England. Record shopping was
non-stop. About 80 top-rate 45s accumulated ("Year Of The
Rats" & "You Make Me Sick" by Satan's Rats, Snatch "All I
Want" in duplicate, every Flys single in volume, including
1st EP and dupes on "Love And A Molotov Cocktail," mucho
Desp Bikes, Radio Stars, Headache, and about a dozen diff.
Slade singles.) Best comment a classical archaeologist at
the acad. asked me why "the orthography of the Slade songtitles
exhibit sporadic retrograde." Saw Pastels, Membranes
(sucked they now think they're Big Black), Stupids, and
Gave Bykers On Acid (truly impressive). New Zodiac Mindwarp
video can be seen on prime ime TV. Rome has one incredible
club, a vast ex-Roman, ex-medieval fortress complex ("Forte
Prenistino") which is now a punk squat (complete with moats,
subterranean barrel-vault chamber where bands play, etc.)
Have seen Social Unrest there, and many lousy Italian bands.
Tuesday night I check out the Birdhouse.
In Italy everyone is hip to the Forest (recently re-
released), Fairfield Parlour, etc. I bought all this house
music in London and I think it all sucks.
Ciao, Corey Brennan, Rome Italy
(Corey Tell yer pals at the "Acad" that all "orthog" is
"retro!" Wowee! GEB)
5

We talked to Michael Hudson after the Pagans' reunion show
last May at T.T. The Bear's Place in Boston. The Pagans
have since broken up permanently, and claim that they will
not be playing or recording a g a in.^
TFTH: George & Patrick
Michael Hudson: Vocals
TFTH: The Pagans are back. Did you guys ever go away, or
what?
Michael: We just got sick of each other, we all wanted
to do different things. But we've all been good friends since
we were kids and so, like this time I just wrote Tommy
a letter, 'cause he still lives in Cleveland & I'm in Penn
sylvania. I said I wanted to play out again, like I
thought we were going to play this Veterans Hall in Cleveland.
TFTH: Do you edit a newspaper somewhere?
Michael: I'm City Editor at a little newspaper.
TFTH: What's it like?
Michael: It's a daily newspaper for this little town where
I live. I do the police report...
TFTH: So are you guys back together full-time, or just the
summer?
ATHENS, OHIO 1979
Tommy Gunn, Michael Hudson
6
Michael: We played Cleveland in October and Minneapolis in
November, where we recorded the new single, and then Paul
Marotta got us to play at Maxwell's, and then Bill Whelan
got us to play here.
TFTH: Yeah, but is it permanent? *
Michael: We're making another record, a studio record.
TFTH: That pink album came out in 1983. Were you guys around
the whole time from '77 to '83?
Michael: Well I mean we were around... We lived in the same
house. We weren't together as the Pagans from '79 to '82.
But then it was kind of the same deal. We played out a lot
at the end of '82 and the beginning of '83.
TFTH: Me and Tommy and Tim and Bob Richie. He's the guitar
player in the Amazing Pink Holes. He was in the Offbeats too.
TFTH:.What happened to Robert Conn and Mike Metoff?
Michael: Well Mike Metoff's Tommy. It's the same guy. Tommy's
also Knox from the Cramps.
TFTH: What about Brian Morgan?
Michael: That's my brother, and he lived in New York for
three years, played with a bunch of bands like Bo Diddley,
and he just moved out to L.A. about three weeks ago. Robert
Conn has a band called the Plague and they play shows around
Cleveland.
TFTH: So you're still pretty much into music.
Michael: Yeah, I love playing.
TFTH: Who'd you guys play with in the original Cleveland punk
rock scene?
Michael: Pere Ubu, Styrene Money, us, once in a while the Dead
Boys.
TFTH: What about Devo?
Michael: They left pretty early on, they left that summer.
TFTH: Right. They went to New York.
Michael: Well no, they went to California to get signed with
Warner Brothers in the summer of '77, it was like they had all
these gigs booked all summer, and they were gone, man it was
just like, we never saw them anymore.
photo: Chris Carr
TFTH: When did you guys start?
Michael: Brian and Tim and I had played a lot togehter, like
Brian's my brother and Tim lived in the house behind my
parents' house, so we played ever since we were fifteen
or sixteen years old. But then, when it got to be like it is
now, it was 1977.
TFTH: Do you write a lot of fiction, like the Cleveland Confidential
seven-inch?
Michael: Yeah. have about 200 pages of stuff like that that's
been published like in fanzines in Cleveland and Michigan.
A fanzine in Cleveland called Hey Daddy-0 publishes a lot
of my stuff. I don't know what I'm gonna do with it. I got
a full-length manuscript now.
T F T H : You could be like Henry Rollins and do spoken-word tours.
Michael: I did. Last January, and it's cornin' out now, I did
an album in New York City with Paul Marotta and Jamie Klimek
from Styrenes, and bunch of these guys from Harlem, jazz guys,
and we had this violin player, he was a Russian defector,
it was a pretty cool bunch of people. I told these stories
and then there was this jazz thing in the background.
TFTH: You said that was coming out.
Michael: It should be out this week.
TFTH: What's it called?
Michael: Hudson-Styrene.
TFTH: Who's putting it out? )
Michael: Mustard. as
TFTH: Mustard's back? 4J
Michael: Mustard's putting out a Pagans album with different -P
mixes and stuff
TFTH: There's so much Pagans vinyl coming out.
o
Michael: I know, i t s killer, I love it! ...I don't know, what
I really want to do, if we go into a studio...like I think we
could sell a lot of records this year, get somebody to book
a tour. 0
TFTH: What kind of bands are you into right now? p
Michael: I don't listen to much new music, I listen to the stuff
I've always listened to, like the Velvet Underground and the
Rolling Stones. o
TFTH: Is that what you were listening to back in '77? +>
Michael:Yeah. o
TFTH: What's "Six And Change" about?
Michael: It's about getting an abortion. Six and change is how much p
it costs.
TFTH: Who's "Freddy?" What's "the bag?"
Michael: My brother this is so stupid my brother went up to REAL WORLD, CLEVELAND 1979
New York one time in '77, and he just came back and that's all
he could say. So we just put it on the beginning of the song. MICHAEL AND BRIAN HUDSON
TFTH: why did "Six And Change" come out with the same song on both TFTH: 'Cause Volume listed an actual single by them on Terminal.
sides? Was there ever a sleeve? Michael: Yeah, it doesn't exist.
Michael: No sleeve. When we put "Six And Change" out...you know, TFTH: We know someone who's been searching the whole world for
our whole career has been like, every time we do something we that record and it doesn't exist. Oh well, usually they turn up
think that's it. So when we made "Six And Change," we didn't anyway.
think we were going to make more records. And we recorded What do you like to do besides playing in the band & writing?
in this kid's basement, and only had one song. Michael: I play video games all the time, go fishing, read...
TFTH: Did you guys really want to be on the same label ascthe Wild TFTH: What video games do you play?
Giraffes? M Michael: Excivius. It's like you're playing, and there are these
Michael: They were friends of ours. We used to play withvthem, these little things and you've got to blow them up. It's
too. We played at high schools and shit with them. very three-dimensional. It're pretty warlike.
TFTH: There's quite a stylistic gap between the two bands. TFTH: Where do you go fishing?
Michael: Yeah, yeah. Michael: I live in a small town in Pennsylvania, in the Allegheny
TFTH: Well, did you get into them a lot? Mountains. It's one of the best fishing areas in the Northeast.
Michael: No, they were good guys, they're good guys. ! TFTH: Like what, northern pike?
T F T H : Since your records were unavailable for so long, do you Michael: Northern pike, trout, bass, everything. It's famous
think you're overlooked? for it. Except for Maine, it's the best fishing in the Northeast.
Michael: No, I think it's fucking great. TFTH: What do you read? Stuff similar to your writing?
TFTH: How.much of a following did you ever have in Cleveland? Michael: What I read now is different from what I used to read at
Michael: Not much. In the 70s when we played there, it'd be the 20 or 25. I mean, I read Bukowski and Hemingway and all that
same fifty people at every show. shit, Sinclair, Kerouac and all...I've been reading junk like
TFTH: How'd you hook up with David Thomas? Earl Stanley Gardner. There's this guy named Elmer Keith, and he
Michael: He was Johnny Dromette's roommate, and Johnny was our
manager.
TFTH: So Drome Records was basically to put your records out? DROME RECORDS, CLEVELAND 1978
Michael: I think it was just an excuse to buy cocaine.
T F T H : What was the deal with Terminal Records? TOMMY, MICHAEL, BRIAN, TIM
Michael: Me and Tommy didn't have anyone to put out our records,
so we started Terminal to put out our own records.
T F T H : So you ran Terminal?
Michael: The address on the records was my home address in
Cleveland.
TFTH: So are there plans to reissue any of that stuff?
Michael: Mark|s reissuing the pink Pagans album. I'd like to
see someone pick up the Cleveland Confidential twelve-inch,
I think it's a great fucking record. Theres a lot of good bands
on there.
TFTH: How about the Defnics? Is that you guys?
Michael: See that's Bill Robert Conn. On Cleveland Confidential,
I produced most of the cuts and sang backups. Like on the
Defnics, I sang backups on that one.
TFTH: How about Les Raving Sounds?
Michael: That was me and Tommy, fucking around.
TFTH: Is there other stuff like that you guys did in other
disguises?
Michael: No, you know. Tommy's in the Cramps and he's been touring,
and he's been with this band called Snake-Out.
TFTH: Right, the pizza band.
Michael: They just cut an album in Detroit.
TFTH:What was the Terminal single that never came out? The AK47's?
Michael: The AK47's were on the seven-inch Cleveland Confidential.

7
inavented the .44 Magnum. He has three books. They're fucking
great. He's this guy who lived in Montana.

Later on, Ivan and Evan had a chance to exchange a few words
with the Pagans' bass player:

Evan; I was trying to figure out the bass in "Eyes Of Satan."

Pagan: It's a toughie.
Evan: So what do you do the .rest of the time, besides the
band? Do you have a job?
Pagan: No....
(pause)
No, I sleep.
(laughter) ^
I like to sleep, sleep is good.
(laughter)
I can't believe I'm saying this shit. Is it seven
o'clock yet?
Ivan: No, it's a quarter to six.

All photos courtesy John Thompson.

8
 PAGANS IN-MIKE'S KITCHEN, 1979
"RONA DRAMA" IS ^ G A N S MANAGER JOHNNY DROMETTE
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN CENTERFOLD OF CLE MAGAZINE, 1979

ON ME. ALBINI STUPID REASONS PEOPLE GIVE FOR NOT ENJOYING MUSIC

Steve Albini was quoted in the latest Ink Disease as saying BLUE HIPPOS S/T LP
that most of the current acts on Homestead are "crappy." "There's nothing going on there, Patrick. It's meaningless."
Later he justifies Big Black's use of a drum machine (in "I listened to it all the way through, and I hated it."
earlier interviews credited to his inability to find "That's a really bad Husker Du cover, you know."
a drummer or a backing band for his first record)
by stating that there are only about three good drummers DEF LEPPARD "Ride Into The Sun" 45
in the country today. He correctly lists Todd Trainer "I don't know, somehow there's no appeal in collecting rare
as one of these because "he attacks the drums...I hate metal."
those drummers who just go piddly-pat all the time."
Well now. That's a real easy comment to make. It's about MOTOROLA CLOUDBURST "Gerard's Dick" 45
on par with statements like "straight edge was a stupid "I didn't like it all. It's nowhere near as good as the
idea" or "folk music is prissy and hidebound." It's about later Squirrel Bait albums."
as easy as playing loud all the time: it's only rock'n'roll
but 1 like it. It's about as easy a target as child- ABBA The Album LP
molestation or killer cops. The drummer goes piddly- "Some guy on WHRB did an Abba Orgy and the phone lines were
pat. Well he can't be a rock drummer then. Frankly lit up the whole ten hours with people yelling to take it off
Steve, if hard drums are all you like then I'd get the air."
sick pretty fast of your one-dimensional taste, and also,
vhy'd you put out the Dark Arts record? CHOIRS OF WESTEMINSTER ABBEY & HM CHAPELS ROYAL Hymns 7" EP
And this brings us back to the crappy Homestead label. "Classical."
Why don't you like Homestead, Steve? Because you left and
you've got to make some more interesting comment than
the actual reason? Because you never liked Salem 66 or
the Flies? How many recent Homestead releases have you
actually heard? Nice Strong Arm? Phantom Tollhooth? Live
Skull? You don't like Big Dipper, huh? Well I don't find
that surprising in the least it's pretty hard to listen
to the songwriting when the drums are going piddly-pat.
You're just as fucking predictable as the last year's-worth
of Big Black performances were wooden, Steve. Maybe it's
time to move beyond cheap shock value, too Rapeman
sounds a hell of a lot like a watered-down Big Black.
And stop shooting your mouth off in interviews.

9
DEATH TO STIGLIANO! y
Chris Stigliano is a very knowledgeable and also a very easy
writer. His mag Phfudd! showcases a mixture of completely
obvious subjects like Meltzer/Bangs, Laughner, Velvets,
stooges, etc., and utter obscuros like Simply Saucer and
Jeri Rossi. I t s easy to miss that the obscurities link
up with the biggies in some way: Rssi had No Wave connections;
Simply Saucer have that Iowa Boys/R. Hell pop-punk wail.
Even Styrene Money benefits from the Cle scene/roommate
thing. See, if you limit your tastes to a few major bands,
their offshoots, and their musical/ideological heirs,
you can take that to the logical extreme and find out a
lot of shit. Which is what Stigliano does, which is great.
Unfortunately, Stigs getting kind of old now, his
taste for new sounds sort of ran out in 1980 or so ("the
year that started with a GIGANTIC bang with METAL BOX!")
and now his mind gulps at new releases like a limp plasm
jaw that can only manage the pre-chewed strain-food that
accomodates his current mindset. It's not "narrowmindedness,"
really; he just doesn't exert himself. Here's how you
can tell:
1. ) Doesn't really listen to records. There's no reason why
Stig couldn't enjoy Great Plains; sure, Ron sings like a
drunken hen, but so does Paul Marotta, Mike Hudson, Kim
Gordon, Dave Thomas, and others of his mega-faves. I'd
also like to know their "hip influences:" the Eyes?
2 . ) Doesn't get his facts straight. He accuses-G. Plains
of being a col Jeep radio band. G.P. have always failed
pathetically on college radio. Has Stigliano ever heard
a college radio station?
3. ) Doesn't read carefully. His review of TFTH! #1 (like
many others) took exactly what he wanted to take out
of it. No, I didn't condemn dissonance in music (what an
absurd idea). I condemned bands like Sonic Youth, the
Swans, and the Butthole Surfers, who all use dissonance
to conceal thoir lack of something to say. In contrast,
I pointed out bands like Honor Role and Sorry, who use
dissonance effectively. Now, you could disagree with me
about tho three bands in question, and Stig obviously did.
But only if you didn't even bother to read the eight or
nine sentences all the way through would you leave with
the impression that T F T I l is anti-dissonance.
4. ) Mindless belligerence. Smart belligerence is a wonderful
thing, and provides us with many of the high-water marks
of our culture (Gerard Cosloy, Dave Run It, Bill Callahan,
etc.) Belligerence by itself as a natural force is also
valuable, particularly when it appears in musicians
(Slapshot, SS Decontrol, Wreckless Eric, etc.) But stupid
belligerence with nothing behind it only proves that you're
too fucking lazy to come up with something that actually
pisses you off. For example, I sent Stig a copy of TFTH!
'cause I enjoyed Phfudd! The letter I received back
is neither amusing (Smart Belligerence) or pugnacious
(Belligerence). It's just dumb: "Your mag's 0K...thanx
fr sending it. If you do stuff on Pussy Galore and Ritual
Tension I'd probably flip out!" Whoopy-do. And getting
back to the G. Plains foul-up, in response to a letter from
Ron House explaining why "college radio" is a misinformed
criticism, Stig lazes out double, both #3 and #4: he
misreads, and responds with a gibe at college radio
("how many 'alternative college radio people' does it take
to screw in a lightbulb" and the answer4s about as hilarious
as you'd expect; lazy joke). Chris: Sonic Youth, the
Swans and the Buttholes top the college radio charts and
Plains are NOWHERE. Got it?
vrona8
Underground. Since what made the Velvets important in
the first place was their originality, not their devoted
repetition of some previous sound, it's odd that Stig wants
to file any of his fave bands in the "Velvets" niche. At
times it's insulting. For example, sure, the Styrenes
began life as a Velvets cover band. How interesting. But
it's a joko to claim that "I Saw You" or "Cheap K, Vulgar"
relate to some kind of Reed/Cale song conception IN THE
LEAST. The Styrenes had a lot more going on than Velvets
derivation. Couch Flambeau, on the other hand, get pegged
as "Pere Ubu/MX-80 Sound trad," which really strains the
whole good=70's rock crit thing. Yawn, right? Chris really
had to work to pull those two names out of the air.
Laughing Hyenas used the Stooges, whereas Sister Ray's
hot slab o' wax gets classified as "cheeseburger punk,"
a shuttered view of this non-retro band; itsn't there
at least a bowl of bouillabaisse as well? Look, Chris, I
couldn't call 1987 my fave year for new music either, but your
goddamn blinders shelter you from the fragile beauty
of the Chills and the killer sheetmetal clack of Breaking
Circus. You're so fucking limited that you can't see any
shades of taste and difference. You're almost as simple
and bigoted as your despised MRR. Look, for me, buddy,
the "Three Stooges" (whoever the fuck they are), indie TV
and cheeseburgers, are irrelevant bullshit, and I love
rock'n'roll. Not everything's gonna fit into your little
pre-defined conception.
I mean, is there anything easier than championing
7 0 's wrock and avant-wrock right now? Mags like Flesh & Bones,
writers like Barry Sublapse and even Art Black sometimes,
bands as hip as Green River, Soul Asylum, Lime Spiders,
Halo Of Flies, Da Willys, the Pixies, Gaye Bykers, Sound-
garden, Zodiac Mindwarp, Payne Glancefield and hundreds
more, some good, some sucky, some Chris's picks, some
not, are pumping up the Stooges/Fairies/Velvets/Birdman
thing to such proportions that I can get rid of a stack
of the "I Wanna Be Your Dog" promo w/ the alternate mix
for $10 @. Chris may have been championing some weirdo
taste once, but he sure as hell isn't now and while that's
OK I just wish he knew he's not doing anything surprising
or unusual.
For now, I'm just trying to imagine a world without
the Who, the Clean, Let's Active, Sandy Denny, the Feelies,
the Beatles, Great Plains, Bird Nest Roys, Cat Stevens,
Slovenly, Young Modern, Divine Horsemen, Beat Happening,
Roy Harper, Dils, Anthony Moore, the Move, Kaleidoscope,
Died Pretty, Yo La Tengo, Volcano Suns, Simon Raven,
the Verlaines, the Chills, New Order, John's Children
Minor Threat, the Jam, Government Issue, or Yung Wu.
Sounds pretty bleak.

5 . ) Easy targets. British music, RJ Smith, 'hnd finally,

what's the GOAL of PHFUDD!? Simple...I wanna go head
on with the 'major* mags and WIPE 'EM OFF THE FACE OF
THE EARTH!" Yeah, and my goal is go and buy some oranges!
Honestly! And easy heroes. How 'bout this gem? "Its been
said before, but the Velvet Underground were the best rock
group on the face of the earth EVER!" Th' mine} reels!
And "Lester Bangs & Richard Meltzer were the best rock
critics EVER!" No way!

6 . ) It's gotta rock. I mean, arewe ii eighth grade or what.

If you can only take one volume of music you're just as
limited as any of the top-forty squares Chris despises so
much. His Big Dipper review states, "These guys couldnt
scare the lumps outta Nancy Reagans teat." Sure, but did
they want to? Maybe they wanted to feel those lumps up!
Whatever it was, it went right over your head, Chris.
All good music, in Stig's view, descends from one
of his deified dinosaur crit-bands (Phfudd! describes itself
as a "hagiozine" on the masthead)# for example the Velvet

10
 REPEATEDLY.
Ipswich's Moving Targets have perhaps the most convoluted
history of any Boston band ever. Last August we caught
guitarist/vocalist/mainstay Kenny Chambers in a relaxed
moment at Jesse Peretz's Cape Cod spread. He gave us
a remarkably candid account of the band's background up BRAVE NOISE (the Chuck session)
till that point, not to mention grim details from his
personal life, and swore convincingly that he would never again Falling
play with virtuoso drummer Pat Brady. We got on the phone Lights
with Taang Records playboy Curtis to get the full scoop Things Are Going By
on recent Targets events. In The Way
At the time of the interview, the summer 1987 line-up car Crash
Kenny, Jeff Weigand on bass, and Todd (last name unknown) Instrumental #3
on drums was about to fold because Jeff & Todd were returning Safe
to school. Sometime Targets bassist Chuck Freeman offered Into The Forest
to rejoin if Kenny could locate a drummer. Kenny roped in Separate Hearts
soundman Carl Plaster. A rehearsal in September demonstrated Through The Door
that this line-up wasn't going to work after all. The 2500 Club
band fell apart. Cantabrigians Bullet LaVolta asked Kenny Nothing Changes
to join to replace screaming Joe Satriani disciple Corey Brave Noise
Brennan, who'd moved to Rome. That October, former Targets
drummer Pat Brady was playing with the Blaros, while SESSION #2 (the Pat Leonard session)
former Targets bassist Pat Leonard briefly tried out for
Lemonheads drummer. According to Curtis, Kenny made him Answer
a tape of forty unreleased Targets songs at this point. Can You Blame Me
He was so impressed he called a band meeting, with the Taang Intro
arbitrary selection of Kenny, Pat Brady, and Chuck Freeman, Blind
and asked them to lay down an album of the unreleased Only Life Of Fun
material. Chuck, however, refused to play certain songs, Travel Music
because he didn't like the arrangments; moreover, the No Soul
band had no place to rehearse. Curtis arranged with Carl Overrated
for this version of the Targets to do preproduction and I will Wait
then a show on WERS's Metrowave, a showcase for live This Is Not
local music. They ended up performing most of the songs, Away From Me
some with Chuck on bass, some with Pat Leonard. In early New Song In C
April they went into Fort Apache Studios with the notorious Punk Rock Song (2 versions)
Lou Giordano, and in two mammoth sessions laid down Burma/Jazz Instrumental
29 tracks, one bunch with Chuck, the other with Pat Leonard.
Since the band refuses to mix tracks from either session, Even though Kenny sold Pat Leonard the songwriting credits
Taang plans to release two Moving Targets albums: one, for "Punk Rock Song" for a gram of cocaine, the band still
already titled Brave Noise, from the Chuck Freeman session; laid down a version with Kenny's vocal.
the other, still untitled, from the Pat Leonard session.
Track listing on this page: old fans will recognize
many of the songs. Now the band plans to play on April
18th in Boston as a four-piece (Kenny, Pat L, Pat B, and
Chuck on second guitar) as they did in the fall of 1984.
Kenny claims that it will be their last show; however,
we know better than to take him seriously.

TFTH: Patrick, George, Ivan, Jesse
KENNY CHAMBERS-guitar, vocal
CURTIS-Taang Records
Not present: Pat Brady-drums
Pat Leonard-bass
Chuck Freeman-bass, second guitar
Patrick: You and Pat Brady have been together, and apart,
and together, and apart, for years and years now.
Kenny: Why just me and Pat Brady? It sounds like some homosex
ual couple or something.
Patrick: Well no, it's obviously a really complicated story
that I want to go into in depth. Just now you've parted from
Pat, the major other personality in the band, musical input
Kenny: I don't understand. What about Pat Leonard. People
admire Pat Leonard's bass playing on the record. People have
been enjoying Chuck Freeman's onstage comments about me
for months now.
Patrick: I admire them too, but aside from you, I think the
single important person besides you who's influenced the
Targets over time is Pat Brady.
Kenny: I would agree.with that, in a past-tense kind of way.
Patrick: Now a final split has occurred.
George: This is definitely final, right?
Kenny: This is it. This is it.
Patrick: Why should I believe this is final, after every
other time you've told me it was final?
Kenny: Well, I owe it to a friend of mine named Todd, he's
playing drums for us right now. Todd's great: he's not tight,
he doesn't have a girlfriend, he's into not working. And h e s
a good drummer. He's a good drummer and he doesn't overplay
at all. Now, I liked Pat Brady's drumming to a certain
extent, but he was kind of flashy.
George: Flashy?
Kenny: I know you don't feel that way.
Patrick: Did you guys have musical disagreements?
Kenny: Oh, definitely.
George: Wasn't he into metal and stuff, hard rock?
Kenny: No, he's into Buddy Rich and shit like that. Buddy
Rich, who's dead, he likes all these dead people. I
don't know, Pat Bradys a nice guy, but I think he's kind
of confused.
Patrick: So what was the event that catalyzed the final split?
Kenny: Well it's real funny, it's very confusing. We did our
big tour, he hated the tour; the whole thing that ruined
the tour for him was our third or fourth night, we're in
St. Louis, and Pat Brady got picked up by this tall blonde
who he later found out was a boy. We were in St. Louis,
it was St. Patrick's Day, he had too many green beers, and
this striking blonde asked him to dance to this really bad
cover band. Now Pat, he'd been giving us shit, mostly me,
you know, can't keep a girlfriend, going out fucking girls,
and what does he do, he turns around and gets picked up
by this boy.
George: Pretty much you're looking at him as this major loser.
Kenny: No, I mean, that's happened to me before, too. But
I wouldnt let it ruin the whole tour.
Patrick: That's happened to you before?
Kenny: 'Cause I used to live in Miami. OK, so Pat didn't
enjoy the tour, we did this one-month tour, and he came

12
 KENNY CHAMBERS

13
photo: Jesse Peretz
back and he had some bills, and his girlfriend was missing
him, and he hated the tour. So after that he said, look,
I can't practice that much, and I can't do that many gigs.
I gotta make some money. Suzanne's giving me shit. So I
said, all right then, we'll just have to find someone else.
George. What's the difference between this split and all
the others?
Kenny: OK, the first split, we got together as a band the
summer of '82. I liked Pat Brady a lot, I still do. He's
a funny guy. You bring him to a party, alone, without
a girlfriend, and the guy's the funniest guy in the world.
Center of attention, life of the pasty.
George: This brings up another relevant question: does
he pick up beautiful women a lot, or was this irregular
for him?
Kenny: I don't know. Pat Brady told me he got a blowjob
once, he said he dated some girl in junior high. But other
than that, Suzanne was his first girlfriend.
Patrick: The Devil Woman?
Kenny: The Devil Woman. D.W.
George: How old is he?
Kenny: H e s 22. He's been going out with her for a year and
a half. He installed a carpet for her.
Curtis: High-pile or shag?
Kenny: I'm not sure. Sounds like it was high-pj.le. I know it
was wooL She had some money to throw around. Devil Woman
had still has a really good job. I couldn't believe it,
I met this girl,at first I had an open mind, OK, she's
not my type, and she seems kind of bitchy. I gave her
a couple weeks. Well, you know, I like to size up a friend's
girlfriend in terms of whether I would sleep with her or
not. When I first met her, she seemed all right, and then
she started talking.
George: How did she stack up?
Kenny: I didn't sleep with her.
George: But you said you liked to size them up how did she
rate?
Kenny: I was just kidding. I wouldn't know how to describe
that. She was cute.
George: Don't be bashful, Ken.
Curtis: I don't think it's very pertinent to the interview.
Go on.
Kenny: Right. So Pat Leonard and Pat Brady and I started
the Moving Targets in the summer of '82, we stayed together
for a year and a half, and Pat Brady wanted to do something
else musically, he was kind of, well, I could give a direct
quote from Pat Brady in the Noise interview: he said the
hardcore lifestyle was too much for him. Can you believe that?
This kid never even had a mohawk.
Patrick: What does that mean?
Kenny: I couldn't figure it out! I don't think it meant very
much I think Pat Brady just didn't like playing with bands
that didn't have Buddy Rich-type drummers.*.
Patrick: Wait how did you meet Pat?
Kenny: In the Personals section, the classifieds in the
Tri-Town Tribune.
George: Was it like, "Seeks bodacious blond, must be into
Buddy Rich," and you were like, oh, I'm blond, and you
called up and you realized he was a guy too?
Kenny: Yeah, well he told me he played drums and then
everything was different.
Patrick: How old were you?
Kenny: I was eighteen. It was funny, 'cause I was the
one who always had to buy beer for Pat Leonard and Pat
Brady. Our whole musical thing was based on me having
pot all the time, and getting high. The first time I
went up there and played with them, it was all drugs,
in the beginning. The real reason was drugs broke us
up, the first time. This was the Summer of the Green Buds.
I knew this guy who grew his own pot, the most incredible
pot you could ever smoke. Seriously, man, I can't believe
the guy grew it himself, and he would sell it for like
ten bucks, for a bud. So I was always having this really
good weed.And Pat Brady and I took a liking to one another,
'cause he was this little guy that was being introduced
to the world of drugs, and it's funny, he has ,a brother named
Matt, h e s like two years younger than him, and totally
ahead of Pat in a lot of ways. Pat's a great guy though,
but his brother's funny.
OK, this is a profile of Matt Brady. He has this girl
who loves him. She goes to department stores and steals
clothes for him. He smashed this girl's car, her mom's car.
And ^ie took the blame for it. That's the kind of guy he
is. Matt is almost like Curtis. But shorter.
Curtis: Really.
Kenny: And not as honest. Just real cool. OK, anyway, so the
first time that Pat Leonard and I went out to meet Pat
Brady, we're gonna jam, his brother comes in and sells us
five hits of mescaline. You couldn't believe Pat, people
say he's flashy
Patrick: In the old days he had those roto-toms
Kenny: Oh God, it was horrible. I used to hate his roto-toms.
I mean, I used to hide his roto-toms on him at gigs, I used
to forget to bring them to gigs, just 'cause I hated them.
Patrick: I loved the roto-toms.
Kenny: I hated well, you see, we don't agree on anything,
pretty much. I think you'll like the new record, though.
George: Who's producing the new record, though?
14
CHUCK FREEMAN, PAT BRADY, KENNY
Kenny: We're not sure. Probably the band and Lou Giordano.
So anyway, back to the original band, we did our first gig
at CBGB's, we played with the Bad Brains and Scream, it was
Christmas Eve 1982, the three of us went up with two friends,
we rented a U-Haul trailer and drove up. We all got real
drunk, we had never played at a club, and we thought we'd
play at 9 and they told us we were going on at midnight,
so all we did was start drinking the free beers that
they gave us, and this kid Kevin with us threw up all over
H R s sneakers. And that's why we never play with the Bad
Brains anymore.
Patrick: What are some of your early songs you don't play
anymore.
Kenny: "Phaseout." I had just broken up with Lisa Rigsby,
my first girlfriend. It was about her and all her friends.
George: Was it vindictive and nasty?
Kenny: It was, kind of, yeah.
George: Now, haven't you guys recorded a fair amount that
never made wax?
Kenny: Not really. Everything at Radiobeat ended up either
on Gerard's compilation or on the album.
Patrick: Well, different versions.
Kenny: Except for one song, actually. Pat Leonard had this
song "Uncomfortable" which Francis DiMenno said was the
best punk song since Last Stand's "Injun Joe." That was
my first dealing with Francis.
Patrick: "Uncomfortable" is a wonderful song.
Kenny: Yeah, I know you liked that song.
George: I sn't Pat Leonard someone who as around before
Moving Targets?
Kenny: Well, he was in a band called Iron Cross.
Patrick: No relation.
Kenny: We were in it together. No relation to the DC band.
Patrick: Was the drummer a guy with curly red hair?
Kenny: No, he was a guy called Phil Gordon, with glasses
he kept pushing back up his noso. Wo d.id songs like "Tell
Me If You Love Me." And that whole thing was based on drugs,
too.
Patrick: Any tapes exist of this band?
Kenny: Yeah, I- got lots of tapes.
Patrick: How do they sound?
Kenny: They *re funny.
George: Are they rockin'?
Kenny: Well we did "Urban Dub," the Moving Targets song.
I got a tape of Iron Cross doing "Urban Dub" at a junior
high school.
Curtis: The best Iron Cross tape is actually the one of
the party, where the cops came.
Kenny: Oh yeah, the first Iron Cross tape, we played at
this football bash, you know, Ipswich had won that year,
the Thanksgiving game. So we just set up and played there,
and we were really loud, and because of that, people
were going crazy, and they were ripping up the whole upstairs
of his house. There was like eight or nine thousand dollars
worth of damage. And I've got this tape of it, and this
kid discovered it, and there's this guy screaming into the
mike, a full-grown guy, a football player, crying into
the mike about his house. It sends shivers up my spine.
It's better than the beginning of the Replacements' stink.
It's more real.
Patrick: How'd you meet up with Pat Leonard?
Kenny: i was playing with these two guys in the first version
of Iron Cross, and there was a fire at their house and
they both died. Mark and John Norris, two brothers, I used
to practice at their house. We were like a punk rock
 band, we used to play songs by Johnny Thunders & the Heartbreak-
ers, and Vom. We used to do "I'm In Love With Your Mom." This
was 1978-79, and I was starting to get into punk rock,
so we used to play Clash songs, I was like fifteen or
sixteen. And there was a fire at their house and they
both died, and their father died, and a couple days after
that Pat Leonard came up to me and said, hey, I hope you
don't think I'm rude or anything, but I don't think you should
stop playing music. 'Cause he used to go see us, we played
at keg parties all the time and he was into it. 'Cause we
were the only band playing at all.
Patrick! Really?
ffgnnY : Yeah. Ipswich is dry. Have you ever heard of the Fools?
They're the biggest thing out of Ipswich. So anyway, Pat
Leonard said, Let's start jamming. He didn't know how to
play at all, he bought a guitar, and just put four strings
on it, and he and I went to his room and I taught him Iron
Cross songs. He picked stuff up really quick, I mean, he's
a great bassplayer, and we became really close friends,
then we met this kid Phil Gordon, and we used to play
WaS a reallY kig thing in Ipswich. We had
this huge hit in Ipswich, this song called "Light Up A
Spliff," it was this reggae song, and we'd play at parties,
and people would give us pot just to play that song. They
would get us high, give us pot.
Ivan: Was that why you played it?
Ken^y: No, it was intense, Phil had just bought a new bong.
We had some great weed, we just puffed it up, got real
fucked up, and started jamming on these three chords for
half an hour. And it was our best song. We had that, and
we had this other song that girls liked, called "Tell Mo
If You Love Me." MOVING TARGETS #2
George t So you got lots of weed PAT LEONARD, KENNY CHAMBERS,
Kenny; No, it was guaranteed, we went to Newburyport once,
and played it, and people knew the song. CHUCK FREEMAN, PAT BRADY
gurtis: We've been getting jibbers in the mail at Taang just
Patrick: That was right after you recorded the songs for
because of that song, just because of the resemblance. Bands That Could Be God?
George: Do you still get women because of the girl song?
Curtis: It's kind of hard to get a woman in an envelope. Kenny: Yup, we recorded those in the summer of *83. So we
Kenny: So getting back to the Targets, we got together in broke up for a year, and that's when I met Chuck Freeman,
who plays bass now. God, it was funny, when Chuck and I
July of 1982, after Iron Cross fell apart, and we first
first met, I was still getting this .really great weed
broke up in September 1983, there was a tension thing
off this kid, and so I met Chuck with a friend of mine,
between Pat Brady and myself. We did our first last show
at Chet's on September 19th, 1983. he worked at Harvest Market. So we went there and met him,
Curtis: How many years between Iron Cross and the Movinq
i n the parking lot, and had a huge joint rolled up, and
Targets? Chuck's like totally straight-laced, so right off the bat
Kenny: Uh, Iron Cross started with Mark and John in 1978, he doesn't like me. So I played him a couple Moving
lasted till 1980. So then, Targets number one did the last Targets tapes and he didn't think they were very good. And
this kid, I swear, me and my friend hated Chuck, after
gig September 1983 at Chet's, I have it on tape, and it's
we left there, we were both talking about what an asshole
one of the worst performances for any one band
he was. I mean. Chuck will even admit that he was an
George: I have a flyer from that show wasn't that with
Scream? asshole then. So then Chuck and I decided to start a group
with this friend of ours, Scott Towne, called Smash
Kjpnny: No, we played with Busted Statues, it was a bad Pattern. We played three gigs. /
gig, Pat was really ready to leave the band, he didn't want Patrick; Chuck played bass in that band?
to do the gig. He was totally uncooperative.
Kenny; He played drums. Chuck is incredible. He's a Renaissance
Man of incredible proportions. He's a great drummer, he
does art. Chuck is cool, I've never met anyone like him.
IRON CROSS, circa 1978 It's very hard to be in a band with Chuck, but it's also
great. Being in a band with Chuck makes me really guilty
about everything I do. Smoking a cigarette, I feel
stupid around Chuck.
Patrick: Lighting up a jibber.
Curtis: Chuck is the mother figure, actually, at Taang.
Ivan: Sort of a fertility goddess.
Kenny: Chuck is great, he knows what's going on. He gives
me shit, for my life; I don't think I deserve it...
Patri * Smash Pattern produced a twelvesong demo reviewed
favorably in Conflict?
Kenny: Yeah, it was all right. As a matter of fact, Gerard
said he would put out a Smash Pattern record. But we got
this bright idea, to do a Moving Targets reunion show,
'cause Bands That Could Be God had just come out
Patrick: And this was for Sorry's first record release
party, September 30th 1984.
Kenny: As a matter of fact, I think someone from Sorry
might have started this whole thing, the reunion. Probably
Jon or Dave.
Patrick: But now you got back together as a four-piece?
Kfpnny: Yeah, so Chuck, who's a phenomenal guitar player,
like Steve Vye almost, played with us, so it was two guitars.
It never worked, it was too much tension.
George: What happened to Smash Pattern? The tape just
remained a tape, right?
Kenny: Right, Chuck ha^ bought a four-track and we did it
on that. The downfall of Smash Pattern was Old Milwaukee
Beer, cause the whole ritual for each rehearsal.was
that we'd get a case of Old Milwaukee, and by the time
it was half gone, we'd all be yelling at each other and'
stuff. I went to dry out after Smash Pattern. Chuck just
sprung right back. So Smash Pattern was together for a year,
September '83 to September '84, and then, we didn't break
up, but as I said Moving Targets was doing the reunion
gig as a one-off thing, the four-piece, Pat, Pat, me, and
Chuck, and it went good, people said they liked it, so
we decided to stick together as a four-piece. We did that
gig, and we did a gig at Johnny D.'s, and then I had a car
accident, the day after Christmas, 1984.
Patrick: Yeah, all these shows were Sorry shows: the Chet's

15
record release party thing# the Johnny D.'s show# and
the day after Christmas, that was to be another Chet's
show with Sorry.
Kenny: Yeah# I'll never forget Jon giving me shit about my
long hair# at Johnny D.'s. Telling me that I looked like
someone from the Real Kids. The original Moving Targets#
the '82-'83 band, played almost all parties# Ipswich
parties. We did a lot of covers# "Better Off Dead,"
Mission of Burma songs. Sex Pistols# Bad Brains. It was
innovative# for Ipswich. People thought they were our
songs# probably.
Curtis: What Burma songs did you cover?
Kennv: "Revolver#" and "Reds*L'
Patrick; Getting back to December '84# the car accident.
Kennv: OK# so I had a car accident# I had a little too much
to drink# someone gave me a bottle of Captain Morgan Rum
for a Christmas present, and I was driving away from rehear
sal by myself in my Dodge Dart# and I went into a tree.
I was in the hospital for a week.
Ivan: So was this like Dylan's motorcycle accident# you had
time to reevaluate everything you were doing...
Kenny: Yeah. People couldn't stand me after that# 'cause I
was always saying how happy I was to be alive, how everything
was gonna be different. I had people like Kim Brooks and
Lou Girodano telling me I was very difficult to be around
the month after the accident, January 1985. 'Cause I gave
up doing drugs, I gave up everything# I was thinking about
finding a girlfriend. But it didn't last.
Ivan: Did it turn you around?
Patrick: Is that what the song "Car Crash" is about?
Kenny: Almost# in a way. It's about things happening and
all of a sudden you look at things differently# and then
you just go back to the same old shit anyway.
George: Well, you eventually just even out.
Kennv: It's like# a good friend of mine# who was involved
with the Moving Targets in some way# thought he had AIDS
at one time# and totally reevaluated his life. And he found
out he had just mumps, or something. And he went back#
and now he's still reckless# more than ever.
George: Well you just have to go back to your old ways#
you can't be radically changed.
Patrick: People don't ever really change.
Kennv: We didn't play for three or four months# and we got
back together again# just the three of us# Pat# Patrick, and
myself# and we played a few gigs, and then Pat Brady got
itchy again# wanted to do different kinds of music# felt
restricted by what we were doing# the old generic punk
rock stuff. So he went off, and we got this friend of ours#
Alan Shepherd, to play dates for us# and we did one or two
gigs.
Patrick: Now# at the period you were back together with
the original 3-piece# didn't you record a single that was
going to come out in some form?
Kennv: Yeah# we recorded three songs# but they didn't PAT LEONARD
turn out very well; it was done on four-track.
George: What songs? Patrick: How do you feel?
Kennv: "Less Than Gravity#" "Funtime," and "Urban Dub." Kenny: I think it's a fine-sounding record. I think the
Curtis: What label? next record# I would like it to be more powerful# yes#
Kennv; It was going to be on Radiobeat Records# but that but also more loose. I wouldn't want everything to be
never happened 'cause Pat left the group after that. So really structured. 'Cause Lou Giordano's into making
Alan played with us# and we did two gigs; they weren't very songs# nice fade-outs, and I think he's a great producer#
good. And Alan was an all right drummer, but after Pat this is all good# so he can do what he wants.
it was a big step down. George: Well h e s definitely done some excellent production.
Patrick: This is April 1985 now? Kenny: He's really into having everything nice# not too
Kenny: Yup# exactly. So then Pat Leonard did a funny thing: out-of-balance. I mean, I like things like the Dinosaur
he told me that Pat Brady wanted to join the band# and he record# where everything's flying out.
told Pat Brady that I wanted him back. So we got back George: Yeah# but it also really hits you# i t s pretty
together. powerful.
Patrick: Wait# didn't Smash Pattern briefly rejoin in the Kenny: I'd like something like that where the guitars are
interim? way up there# and loose, like instead of overdubbing a guitar
Kennv: Yeah# we were going to do a gig. solo# just doing one.
George: So Pat Leonard was the matchmaker in the band. George: Like the sound of the last record# somehow# really
Kenny: Pat Leonard is like that# he's one of the coolest doesn't hit you.
people I know. He would never hurt anyone# and he always Kennv: I don't know# a lot of people think it's a powerful
tries to have everything as good as possible. So we didn't record.
know he was 'doing that# and by the time we found out# it Ivan (to Patrick & George): Don't you think a lot of the
was too late. problem might be that you guys grew up with Moving Targets
George: Were you pissed? so much# and you have such high expectations?
Kenny: No# it was kind of funny. 'Cause, it's weird# we break Kenny: See, Pat's problem is that he's seen us live
up and we hate each other# and then we get back together George: But I've seen you a couple times before that and
and everything's love and peace. I was really into what I saw# it just seemed so powerful and
George: So every time this happens# do you think# this is tight# it's this powerful rock# and the record seemed so
it, this is the final thing# I can't stand this. dissipated from that.
Kenny: No# see what happened is# I didn't say this was it Kenny: One thing I noticed from listening to it today was
until now. I might have said it before# I didn't mean it. that the guitars# while not wimpy, were definitely held
I was hateful. But this is it, really. It would be too back
ridiculous to get back together again# anyway. George: Yeah! Muted. That's the thing# and the thing that
George: So back to where we were# here. really irritates me# and Patrick and I have discussed this
Kenny: So we started playing out# the original 3-piece at length, and we both agree# is the sound of the cymbals
again# summer of '85# and then, late '85/early *86# we on the record has this very prominent place. What use is
recorded the record# Burning In Water, at White Dog the sound of the cymbal click# it's just this precise
Studios. A lot of problems going on in the band. I mean# click# in every song# all the way through
problems# always. Kenny: Yeah# that's Pat Brady's style of playing too the
Patrick: Are you satisfied with the way the sound of the kid sits at home at night and practices hitting the cymbal.
record turned out? He's got a cymbal above his bed, it's got tape around it.
George: Yeah# we want to talk about the production of the George: Did he demand a place in the mix?
record. Kenny: He had no idea what was going on# he just wanted to
Kenny: Well, it's a very controversial subject. have every drum fill.conceivable on the record.

16
George: And Lou's philosophy was to make everything really group, it's last summer, '86, we started playing out,
clear and precise. and it was really better. Chuck's a really solid bassplayer;
Kenny; Yeah# Lou's major regret is that he didn't, make Pat Pat Leonard's a really solid musician but he tended to
Brady play more simply. overplay a little bit, throw a million notes in.
George; That's basically the problem/ aside from the muted George; It's funny that you had this problem with people
guitar# the drums are really excellent/ but far too in your band who played too well.
prominent. Kenny; I like people who can play well, but net overdo it. Like
Kenny; They're everywhere. It's like a bass and drums and Carl Plaster, who's gonna play drums now, he can do that
vocals record/ almost. But this next record, I've talked stuff, and I want to be in a band with a couple people
to Lou, and it's going to be good, I'd rather not record who like my kind of music, and Pat Leonard wasn't like
a record a mix it so that it's for radio. That's kind of Pat Brady in the sense that he was a musical snob, 'cause
the idea Lou had for the first record, and certain songs, Pat Leonard likes the Ruts and stuff like that, but he
we were going to start off sicffe one with "The Other Side" was attracted to bands that could play. He doesn't like
and it was going to be a radio song, but I'd rather have bands like the Velvet Underground. He was into Phil Collins,
a record that's more threatening. seriously. He respects Phil Collins.
George; Yeah, I loe the songs on that record, and I love So Chuck joined the band, it felt more like I thought
listening to it? it's just my pickiness from having seen it should feel, and it was really good. And the record came
you live. It's a really good record, it could have been out, July 1986, and we decided to do a tour, so we did
a really awesome record, and that's why I'm kind of disappointed. that. Part of it was cool. It started out really bad,
Kenny; It's done with, and I think it's a good record. cause a couple people I know insisted we do t;his Miami
George; What did the others think of it? gig at the Cameo Theater, 'cause Gang Green had just
Kenny; Chuck thought it was kind of flat. Pat Brady never played there, and made like a million dollars. The whole
has opinions about anything, except hardcore bands. tour revolved this one Miami gig. It was our first gig of
George; What does he say? the tour, we drove straight down there, and it was
Kenny; Well, he was very disturbed by bands we were playing definitely a bad move. Miami's really bad for music. We
with, like Impact Unit, way back when. Pat Brady's a tough played at this 500-600-seat theater, with this ten-foot-
guy, but bands like that scared him. tall stage, and there was like thirty people there. So
George; He was afraid of them? that fucked it up right away, Pat was ready to go home,
Kenny: Yeah. Pat Leonard is funny too. When Pat Leonard first but we ended up doing some good gigs. The best gig ever
heard Kilslug, he thought they were very evil and he made would have been Minneapolis, which we didn't even play.
me stop playing it. When he eard Dredd Foole for the first Pat Brady got sick and couldn't be convinced to play it.
time, he thought it was very evil. They'd written it up in the paper, a bunch of people
George: These two boys sound kind of naive. didn't even go in 'cause there was a sign saying we
Kenny: Well Pat Brady, come on, look, the guy has good weren't playing, that was flattering. Pat Brady had the
taste in furniture and stuff, his carpet's nice. 24-hour flu, and I have this problem with people in bands
Patrick; When I first asked Gerard who Moving Targets were, who get sick and can't play. I think that's just faggy.
before Bands That Could Be God came out, he was like, "It's Just go up and do it, man, what the fuck. So we babied
basically this one guy who's really into punk rock, and these Pat for a couple hours, we were gonna set up his drums;
two friends of his who are incredible musicians, but every we were staying with Spencer Gates, and Spencer was going
thing they know they got from him . " to drive him down, wrapped up in a towel, to the gig,
Kenny: I don't know. Pat Brady's seen some bad concerts. He and give him a ride back, check his temperature, and his
went and saw Robert Plant and said it was one of the best pulse, and so on. But he wouldn't do it. So it sucked,
things he'd ever seen, like two years ago. He goes to see
groups like Gruppo Sportivo, things like that. That was KENNY TESTS OUT NEW AXE!
the main thing I felt that Pat Brady had no understanding
or appreciation for music I thought was good. I like stuff
like the Velvet Underground, and to him that's just dirt,
just shit music.
George: So what does he really respect?
Kenny; He likes Led Zeppelin. He likes the Bad Brains. We
were heavily into the whble Bad Brains thing, with all
the pot, and shit, 'cause I got the cassette when it came
out, and our ritual was, we used to practice four times
a week, and we'd get into my car, my Dodge Dart, I had a
little Realistic tape deck, and have a couple joints rolled
up and listen to the first side of the Bad Brains cassette,
right before, to get us pumped up for practice. We did that
for gigs too. Pat liked the Bad Brains 'cause they were really
powerful.
Patrick; So let's talk about the development of the band after
you recorded the record.
Kenny; So we recorded the record, and about a month after
that, April 1986, before it came out, we had a talk, Pat
Brady and I, and at this time Pat Brady was like, we're
gonna be great, full speed ahead, we're gonna stick together,
so we're having problems with Pat Leonard, stuff that I
really can't discuss, but which was very very serious.
George; Can you drop some kind of hint? Like was it musical
Kenny; Nothing. I can't say anything. I think certain people
know what it was. So we asked Pat to leave, and we just had
a couple gigs and we asked Chuck to fill his place. So
Chuck went out and bought a bass and an amp and decided
to stay with us. And, so we did some gigs, they were the
best gigs,I felt. Pat Leonard wasn't the cause of it or
anything, but after he left, it changed the attitude of the
band. We wanted to get a little more professional. Not
professional, but we didn't want to be tuning up between
songs, and shit. Chuck gave us a boost of energy. He's
a great guy. We're like brothers, kind of,.we hate each
other but we love each other. Well we don't hate each
other, I don't think. Like Beaver and his brother, sort
of.
George; You gave each other shit.
Kenny; Well, I would like to think it's more him giving me
shit, and I think there's people who can see the stuff he
says about me on stage, and realize what's happening. Chuck's
very down on me. I wanted to go on tour, I wanted to fuck
girls and have fun, I mean; safe sex, but, I had sex with
this girl last night and we were joking about it, she
had thi,s safe sex kit, and I was like, about these oral
dams, why not just use Saran Wrap? Last night, I was in the
middle of some passion, and Curtis called up. Have you
ever smoked a joint while you're fucking? I did that for
the first time last night. I couldn't believe it...I, no,
I'm not going to talk about this.
George: Talk about it!
Kenny; It's gonna make me look really silly, talking about
sex. So Pat Brady, what happened, oh yeah, Chuck joined the

18
'cause it would have been the best gig of the tour. After
that, I was pretty pissed off at Pat. And, just the next
day he was fine. The tour ended up kind of shitty, like
the last three gigs, no one went, we didnt get any money
or any tiling: Muncie, Indiana at the No Bar S. Grill with
this 60's cover band, six people came. But it was cool
'cause we met these college kids who took us home to their
dorm, and let us have the whole floor to ourselves, and
we just took it over for a couple days and went to college
parties and shit. It was pretty intense. Of course, Pat
didn't like it very much--he was constantly on the phone
with Suzanne, arguing. I said something to him, I wanted
to use the phone to order some pizza, and Pat was on the
phone with Suzanne.... It was so funny, that was a big joke,
every time we stopped for gas, or for a piss, or to eat,
he would always head right to the phone. And these sad
conversations, they're not even happy to be talking. Just
real businesslike. We used to give him shit about it he
hated that, just 'cause it was such an obvious flaw in his
personality. I see St. Louis as the highlight of the tour.
That's where Pat Brady got picked up by the guy, and I, I
met a girl. I met this black girl, her name was Nova. Pat
Brady took off with this girl, they went to her house for
the night- I thought she was a girl at the time. Maybe
she was a girl, I'm not sure.
George 2 Wait so what do you mean what are you saying, you
think she was a girl.
Kenny: I'm not sure she looked like a girl.
George: What made you think she was a boy?!
Kenny: I'm not sure. But he comes back the next morning and
he pulls this guilt trip, like he feels terrible that
he did this to his girlfriend, that he slept with another
girl-r-he went on about that fucking one night for the
rest of the tour.
Jesse: Don't publish that, guys.
Kenny: Why not?
George: Yeah, Jesse.
Jesse: Don't publish that about the guy sleeping with another
girl, just take my advice, even if you don't like the guy.
Kenny: You know what's going to happen is that I'm gonna
get my ass kicked. Now whats the deal with Paula, man. I
met this girl, I think she's cute, a little crazy. I start
chasing her a little bit, then something happens, maybe,
and then she won't talk to me ever again after that.
This is going to fuck everything up. People are going to
think I'm an asshole after this.
George: Look, Kenneth, if you think being honest is going
to represent you as an asshole, you better change your whole
life.
Kenny: No, 'cause I am saying some things that are kind of
unnecessary. Like, Pat Brady doesn't have a cymbal above
his bed that he hits every night. I do know that he insisted
on hanging up jazz drummer posters in our rehearsal space.
Which I was against.
George 2 Like who?
Kenny: Like Billy Cobb. I mean, I think Pat should have his
own poster. He's a great drummer. Probably the best drummer
I've evor seen in my life. But then again, I went and saw
this guitar player one time, at the Club, this English jerk,
he.used to be in UK with Bill Bruford. It was the worst
thing I ever saw, all he did was play guitar solos all
night. And sometimes Pat Brady reminded me of that night.
George: So you don't want to finish talking about Paula?
Kenny: No, I wish Paula coul finish talking to me, you know?
George: You feel kind of hurt?
Kenny: I don't know, I hate being rejected. Everyone does.
And it doesn't happen that often. And here's this girl, we
had this beautiful evening together. I mean, everything
was perfect. No sex.
Patrick: Well, this is definitely what we're not putting in
print.
Kenny & George: Why?
Patrick: I just think Paula might not be that into it.
George: I don't think it's it's not obnoxious.
Kenny: Not, it's just, I'm hurt, man. I thought we were--
George: Just saying that you're hurt is not offensive.
It's nice. it's like saying, I feel bad 'cause I like you.
Patrick: No, I think it's totally honest what Ken's saying,
but Paula.might not agree.
George: Well, we can look at it in print and see what it looks
like.
Kenny: I don't know, I think this whole interview should be
done over again.
George: Kenny, you're just rocking along. You're just getting
too self-conscious.
Kenny: Yeah, OK, it's gonna ruin the interview.
George; Whip out a jibber.
Patrick: Maybe we should get him a glass of wine.
Kenny: Yeah, where's that wine?
George: Ivan, go fetch us some wine for Kenny.
Patrick: Should we call you Ken or Kenny?
George: I call him.-Ken, Kenny, Kenneth, anything.
Kenny: Really? I didn't notice that you called me Kenneth. This
girl Katy Winters used to call me Kenneth.
Patrick: Can we go ovef how the band restarted?
Kenny: OK, Chuck Freeman joins the band, me and Pat Brady, we
play out during the summer, the record corner out, we do our
tour, we have some fun, some good times, some bad times...
I had the best time ever on tour. Not so much while it was
happening, but after it was over with. You know, just looking
back and thinking about it. When you're driving a lot, it's
kind of boring, but I just had a great time and Chuck had
a good time too...Pat didn't enjoy himself. Carl Plaster
went with us too and he enjoyed himself. He did sound for
us. So we came back, and Pat had quite a few bills, I guess,
and decided that he couldn't play that much, that he had
to take some time off. So I said, all right, we'll do
a couple more gigs, and then we'll find a new drummer.
Things were kind of fucked up anyway by then. So then we
get invited to the Rumble, and Pat decides to stay, we
owed this girl Kim Brooks, this friend of ours, who lent
us a thousand dollars to record the record, so, this is
a year and a half later, and we still hadn't paid her
back. So we decided we were goinq to stay together, just to
make the money to pay Kim off. So we did a few gigs, and one
way or another the money didn't get saved for Kim, and then
the Rumble happened. Things were a little tense, Pat was
telling me, I'm gonna start doing things for myself, I've
been doing things for everyone else. Pat just had this idea
that he was really doing things for people, and he really
wasn't, that much.
Patrick: Like what kind of things?
Kenny: Like we were using his van. That was his whole contri
bution to us. Besides his magnificent drumming. And he
held that up in our face all the time. So we do the Rumble,^
and Pat says, all right, I want to have a meeting, at my
house. So we go there, and he just says, "Look it, I've
been thinking about it, and I want to stay in the band,
I want to go on tour, I want to put a lot of time into
it, I'll take time off of work, I'm really into it, I
think we can go far." And I was amazed. I couldn't believe
he was saying this stuff. This was like two and a half
months ago [May 1987].
Patrick: So what happened?
Kenny: So, we had been breaking up, and he, like out of
the blue, tells us that he's gonna stay in the band. We
weren't breaking up, but he was gonna leave the band.
George; Was there any directe reason for it?
Kenny: I couldn't think of anything. This was also before the
Rumble. So he probably thought that we were going to win,
or something stupid like that. So this happens, then we
do the Rumble and we don't win, and three day later
Pat calls me up and he says, Ken, I've been thinking
about it and I don't want to do it. So I was like, all
right, thats it. That's that.
So anyway, before this time, after the tour, I had
been putting up a few ads around Kenmore Square just saying,
"Looking For Drummer." And I got a few calls, and I
sublet a rehearsal space frm Salem 66, and I was playing
with a few drummers, just trying it out, and nothing
seemed to work. And then I met this kid Todd, he was like
seventeen years old at the time and he'd never been in a
band, a really nice kid, so...we had a couple gigs lined
up when Pat Brady left the band, so I asked Todd if he
would want to play. And I asked Chuck if he would want to
do it, and Chuck said, he didn't want to. He just said it
wouldn't be good enough. So then I talked to Jeff Weigand,
from Volcano Suns, he had just left the Suns, and asked
him if he would want to do it. So we played this show on
the Fourth of July with millions of other bands, we just
did it for the money, and it was good. And that's another
controversy too, that was just recently cleared up, about
dividing up the money. We did this gig, it went better
than we'd expected, so we did a couple more gigs I had lined
up, and they went really well, and that encouraged us,
so we're doing a couple more gigs. And that's going to end,
soon, 'cause Todd and Jeff are both#going to school.
George: But you have other people lined up, right?
Kenny: Yeah. I'm going to play with Chuck again. And Carl
Plaster, who's a really good drummer.
Ivan: How do you think you're viewed nationally? It's weird.
19
because there's certain pockets of people, all across the
country who are like, Targets are the best... You know,
Gerard has always considered you..
Kennyt Yeah, he's always said good things
George; Well, Gerard is their friend
Ivan: Like in CMJ Report, some guy said you record was the
best of the year
George: Yeah, you got a bunch of good reviews
Ivan: I don't know if you read this, but in Creem there's
an interview with Husker Du
Kenny: Yeah, and they mentioned us
Ivan; They said their favorite bands from outside of Minneapolis
were Sonic Youth and Moving Targets. But then on the other
hand, uh, your record didn't iifell nearly as well as...
Kenny; Yeah, well, no.
Ivan: You think it's probably, as Curtis was saying earlier,
that you didn't tour at the right time?
Kenny: Yeah, we didn't tour.
George; But good critical support. Don't you do fairly well,
these days, at your shows?
Kenny: I don't know, last New York show we did was Tramps, quite
a while ago. But that was good, yeah.
George; And you played CBGB a couple times.
Kenny: Yeah, that wasn't good. They stuck us in as the last
band. People like Gerard have always said nice stuff yeah,
Gerard, who can say the most horrible things about people
who don't deserve it. We'd be the perfect target for that
kind of abuse, because we break up and shit. You know, 'cause
we're so unreliable.
George; Well, he just likes your music. But for me, it was
kind of strange, going to school in New York, the one band
from Boston that everyone knew about was Moving Targets.
Kenny; In New York?
George; Yeah, well, the kids were like, a couple kids from
New York, and North Carolina, like people who'd been doing
college radio kinds of things, and were into cool music, but
it just struck me as strange that people had never heard
of a lot of bands out of Boston. Like some of them had
never heard of Burma. They were like, yeah, Moving Targets.
Kenny; That's funny, it seems like a reversal of history.
I don't know much about this kind of stuff, but hopefully
the second record will be a lot better and we'll go on
tour. Chuck and Carl said they'd be interested in touring,
if everything works out.
George: When will the record be released? You've done one
song, right?
Kenny; Yeah, this friend of ours was taking this recording
class, and his project was recording a band and mixing it,
so he asked us if we wanted to do it. And we did it, at
Baker Street Studios, one new song, for free, sixteen-track.
It's called "In The Way."
George; The tape sounded pretty good, a little rough maybe.
Kenny: Yeah, the drums had this weird sound, and a lot of
the reverb on the snare, it was definitely different
from the last record. But that song will be on the new album.
George; It had a lot of punch, it was really powerful.
Kenny: It did. The thing about the first record was that
I was playing a shittier guitar than I have now, and a
kind of shitty amp set-up. And now I've got a different
set-up.
George; What do you think of "Squares & Circles?"
Ivan; Yeah, how did you get on that record?
George; Let's hear the McGonigal story.
Ivan: Let's hear some dirt.
Kenny: I don't know, not many people seem to like Mike...
Ivan: He's a whole target of disdain, it's amazing...
Kenny; He called me like a week ago from Florida. Right
now Mike is mowing lawns in Florida.
George; Have you met him? You must have met him.
Kenny; Yeah, I met him for the first time at the Tramp's show.
George: Were you very excited to meet him?
Kenny; Urn, I hadn't heard anything about him up till that
point.
George; Have you ever seen his magazine?
Kenny; I saw the copy that has our record.
George; Did you like it at all? What did you think of it?
Kenny; I mostly just read a few things, three reviews
of the Targets that I read.
George; Did you read the Lemonheads reviews?
Kenny: I don't think so.
George; It's pretty funny, they were so perplexing. The
Lemonheads single, he was like, "This is pretty good,
kind of standard punk rock." And then he was like, "One
of these songs is a real fucking classic, you have to
run out and buy it." It seemed like an endless stream of
contradictions. Then the live show, he was like, "Who
are these faggy losers I hate them."
Ivan: I don't know, his magazine, I don't think it's that
intelligent, particularly, but it's not the worst thing
in the world, and he's just like become the scapegoat
for the world.
Kenny; Yeah, I don't think it's fair, whatever's happening
to him.
Ivan; I feel kind of bad for him, I mean, he seems like
kind of a dope.
George; But he's this ridiculous NYU student wh o s always
talking about his studies at school throughout his magazine,
he dresses up in the most absurd costumes and tries desperately
to look like Gerard Cosloy.
20
Ivan; He looks like a twisted Gerard, to me.
George; Gerard's a great guy, I really respect Gerard, but
come on, can you imagine Gerard as this fashion idol?
Ivan: Yeah, he's this really bizarre derivative of Gerard.
Kenny: I mean, when Gerard was kind of fat, they both
looked like brothers.
Ivan; Actually, at that show at Tramp's, me and Alex, we
thought he was Gerard the whole time! 'Cause we knew he
had glasses, and he had a Moving Targets sweatshirt on...
George; You guys better straighten this situation out,
'cause McGonigal is never seen in public without a Moving
Targets sweatshirt.
Kenny: Mike?
George; Everytime I see him h e s wearing it, and I just feel
kind of bad about it'.
Kenny; That's OK.
George; So I was gonna ask you, what do you think of the
sound on "Squares & Circles?"
Kenny: I think it sounds pretty good.
George; You wouldn't be interested in doing a whole album
that sounded like that...
Kenny: No...it's too clean still.
George; Too clean? Well, it has a lot of punch to it.
Kenny: More so than the other stuff, but
George; You want something that's more ragged.
Kenny: It's not clean, it's just got this sound like it's
all crunched together. It sounds like it's mashed.
George; See, that's the thing. The first time I saw you
live, it was really really tight? It was kind of like that,
a really powerful concentrated sound. And I was really into
it. And it's gotten more ragged and loose live, it's still
really clean, and really powerful, and I like it just as
much, but I was really into that other idea, but...that's
really more of a hardcore thing, though.
Kenny: Yeah, I mean we were trying to be the white Bad
Brains when we were first together.
George; They're pretty wicked tight.
Kenny: You know, everyone changes the way they like to
do things, hear things. Like Dredd Foole is really noisy
now. At one time it wasn't so much that.
George: We were talking about the Boston bands, and bands
like the Ruts that you used to listen to, but what do you
listen to now?
Kenny: It's kind of sad, I feel guilty sometimes about
listening to music, 'cause I never listen to the radio, the
last record I bought was a Velvet Underground bootleg.
George; Which one?
Kenny; It's from Cleveland, 1966.
George; Not the record 1966.
Ivan: Is it really noisy? Is it the really famous one?
Kenny; Okay, youJre thinking of the one where it's just
one song. No, this one's got a picture of them on a fold-
out, it's really high-class, looks really professional.
Ivan: Oh, with all the silver objects in the background?
Kenny; It's with Nico with all of them sitting there
playing, at the Factory, and then on the back it has a
picture of the paperback, The Velvet Underground.
Ivan; Yeah, I have that paperback.
Kenny; You do? That's incredible. A friend of mine, Dan
Ireton Dredd Foole just found that at a bookstore in
New Hampshire a couple weeks ago. He's been looking for
that since he was sixteen.
George: I just got this new bootleg single, it's pretty
cool, it's "Ride Into The Sun," two takes
Kenny: Yeah, but "Ride Into The Sun" is also on Another View.
George: Yes, but this is a much better version.
CHUCK
 Ivan: Do you like the Flying Nun bands at all? Like the where Curtis promised me that that poster contained your jiz,
Chills and the Clean? and I worked on a very extensive trade involving two or
Kenny: I don't know anything about those bands. three people, and I acquired the poster.
Ivan: Really? They're so Velvets. Kenny: The truth is
George: It's this pocket of people in New Zealand Curtis: The truth is, we're not at liberty to say whose jiz
Kenny: I saw the Chills. It's weird/ my problem is I have that is, even less who conducted the slit. What I will say,
the same turntable I've had all my life, so I buy records# thought, is if the Kaplan girls do become permanent fixtures
but I never play them. And I don't buy a lot of new at Taang, that poster will be removed.
records, 'cause I just figure I'd ruin them. Kenny: Let me put it this way [laughter]: right now the
George: You don't ever listen to Boston college radio? Taang Clubhouse has my entire collection of dirty magazines
Kenny: No, unfortunately the only thing I ever listen to is, George: Those are yours? There are so many of them there!
once in a while, WERS, if there's an interesting band on Kenny: I had to get -rid of them, man.
Metrowave. I'm just lazy. I have a dozen Led Zeppelin records George: Why?
George: Have you always been into Zep? Patrick: Are you really into Ripe Melons, Part Six?
Kenny: No. I was into Zeppelin a little bit when I was Curtis: Big Melons.
thirteen, and then when I started thinking about punk rock, Kenny: I don't know, over the years I collected this large
I threw all that stuff away. I got back into them later. George: What type of porn are you into?
Ivan: Do you like the Beastie Boys? Kenny: [pause] Not porn, just like Hustlers and stuff
Kenny: No. George: Hustler isn't porn?
George: There's such a Zeppelin revival going on. Patrick: Thank you very much for your time.
Kenny; I like the Stooges a lot, but aside from all the
Taang records I don't hear much newer stuff.
George: Curtis, do you have anything to say about Mike As we go to press, we learned a couple new details about the
McGonigal? Moving Targets. Pat Brady has just bought a $180,000 house,
Patrick: Mike McGonigal's sort of a dead issue. tying him down even more securely to the suburban culture
Ivan: Yeah, he's really been flogged into the ground. of Ipswich. The Targets are scheduled to play New York in
Curtis: As in some other stuff we've been involved in May; Jon Easley has bet me ten dollars that the current line-up
at the label, like the video, an immense amount of pestering. won't be around to play the show. Kenny is still playing with
Mike was an incredible pesterer. He pestered me every day, Bullet Lavolta.
nearly.
Ivan: Albini described him as the premier phone pest.
Curtis: Unbelievable. He is the most depressing person
I've ever talked to over the phone. He is a person I never
want to use the handset again with. I use the speakerphone
only, when I talk to Mike.
George: Really.
Curtis: Oh, yes. He just basically calls me up and says,
"What's going on?" I go, "Mike, you called me."
Kenny: I know, it's weird, he talks to you like you're old
friends when you just spoke a couple times during the week.
Curtis: I'm glad he did the record, 'cause I don't think
I would have done that record otherwise, and it was a great
way to get "Squares & Circles" out. But now it turns out
that "Squares & Circles" is coming out twice. It's coming out
on a seven-inch in Australia with "Gravity," and "Faith."
Kenny: I thought "This World" was going to be on it.
George: What label is it coming out on?
Curtist It's gonna be an Australian single with Mr. Spaceman
Records.
George: Tell us a sexual fantasy for each song on the album
that you think is relevant.
Ivan: When I hear that song "MTV," I always imagine the
Duran Duran video for "Rio."
George: Filled with luscious men.
Kenny: I don't know, none of the songs really mean anything.
George: They're just vacuous farts, or something?
Curtis: Like unfinished sentences. Distorted images in Ken's
mind.
Kenny: Kind of like a coloring book that isn't colored in yet.
Curtis: Actually, Los Lobos was almost going to be involved
fin Moving Targets. [Kenny was wearing a hideous Lobos tee.]
Kenny: Yeah, they wanted to produce the Moving Targets. Pat
Brady was into it.
George: What do you mean, they wanted to produce the Moving
Targets?
Curtis: Steve Berlin of Los Lobos, when Los Lobos played
the Channel for $12.50 a head, when they strolled into town,
a couple members of Los Lobos said, "We want Moving Targets
to play with us." This is probably ten, twelve hours before
the gig. They talked to Emily.
Kenny: So we did the show.
George: Wait, is Emily Kaplan managing you now?
Kenny: No. She booked the tour for us, and she got us that
gig too.
George: She is the most intense woman.
Kennv: I wish she'd be our manager. It'd be great.
Curtis: It'd be a catastrophe.
George: Emily Kaplan is like one of the best people in the
world.
Kenny: Emily and Beth, both.
Jesse: I really want Emily Kaplan to be our manager.
George: I want Emily Kaplan to be my manager.
Jesse: I want Emily Kaplan to be my girlfriend.
Curtis: I want all the Kaplan girls to be permanent fixtures
at the Taang Clubhouse.
Jesse: In fact, Curtis once told me in a moment of absolute
sincerity that if the Kaplan sisters became permanent fixtures
at Taang, he would take down the centerfold of Miss Jane.
Curtis: Well, I wouldn't put it in writing.
George: Kenny, let me ask you something. Did you molest that
centerfold or is that just a lie?
Kenny: I don't know, where did you hear this?
George: it has a slit in a very convenient location.
Kenny: The slit happened after I left.
George: So you know about it.
Jesse: The stain is right on the slit.
Kenny: Okay, let me put it this way
George: Kenny, listen, I worked out this deal with Curtis

21
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OAI COLLECTING
by Patrick Amory
Nothing is stupider and more pathetic than music types
who talk down collectors. If you seriously enjoy music, and
you want to move anywhere beyond the simple (and limited)
sample of records in print at any time, you must collect,
otherwise you will own the same boring slice of musical
ha story that everyone else has. If you're too lazy to work
your records, then of course you deserve my contempt,
my gloating pride. My collection is amountain of effort, the
result of years of thankless detective work. I don't need
your sneering morality. I know more about music than you
do. I have access to better music than you do.
But if your appreciation of records is actually limited
to the music, you're a limited soul indeed. A record is
an historical artifact, more of a direct link to another
time than any other piece of rock'n'roll trivia. The record
is what actually came out at the time, what fans actually
bought, what warehouses actually stocked. You can feel that
viscera. It!s there in the superlaminated covers of psychedelic
albums on UK Fontana, in the insert-stuffed matt cardboard
of a Dischord single, in the quarter-inch thick vinyl of
an actual Link Wray original. You can smell the years in the
physical essence of a genuine first edition.
This mystical virtue alone puts originals beyond the
pale of sodden reissues and compilations. More material
benefits entice: the lost photos, the insight into a band
joke on a scribe ("Sorry dear, Rabelaiss off"), the rich
fullness of late 60's mastering, the golden urine color of
"Horror Business." These are intellectual and aesthetic
benefits often as intense as the actual music.
But if you're dead to all the history, the beauty,
the soul, and yes, the unreleased music of an original
record, fine. Go crawl into your little dead hole. Don't
give me shit. If you're so starved for moral cause that
you need to preach to record collectors, you're a sad little
asshole anyway. Go find someone else to annoy.
SOME GOOD RARE SWEDISH RECORDS
SODS "Television Sect" 45 (Medley) '79
"Television sect/You got no self-respect/You think it's
intellect/You let your brain infect" aside from the sterling
sentiment, you gotta admire the bizarre control of the
English language, not to mention the super-swift Alice
Cooper-cum-Dahgerhouse chunk-guitar break in the middle.
This is actually Danish, but who cares,.
EBBA GRON "Mona Tumba's Slim Club" 45 (NCB) '78
Listen carefully, because this is true. American & British
punk bands draw their licks from black roots, as often
as not Sex Pistols, Controllers, Dead Boys, Dolls, etc.,
all derive from R&B guitar & ultimately blues licks. One
side of this gorgeous little item does imitate that sound
a _la Nipple Erectors like many European punk bands of the
time. The other side exhibits a massive yodel chorus that
resembles other stuff like Filth or Cretins these kids were
drawing on their own historical antecedents! A good part
of European punk rock stuff of any worth lifts its melodies
from mountain music and country chants, not badly-copied
American roots rock. The mighty chorus here really does
bring to mind The Sound Of Music (Swiss, I know, but dumb
Americans can hardly tell the difference) or those Macedonian
folk compilations. Thats why we can still find Continental
punk records and not be bored to shit by them.
GASOLINE "Killer Man" 45 (Egg) '77
This is frightening. No possibility exists that this can
actually be FRENCH, as every rock'n'roller worth his salt
knows that the FRENCH CAN'T ROCK. Yet they are definitely
screaming something in French, and the guitars are twisted
iron-forged torture devices suitable for ripping out testicles
and spreading, eviscera around the room. Even better is the
B-side, the inscrutable "Radio Flic," an impassioned tirade
against French radio and (?) French people in general. It
must have been hell for these maniacs to live in France
where everyone is bicycling around with long baguettes, or
sipping Burgundy in the market square just before the afternoon
nap, or whatever the fuck it is. COMPLETELY BIZARRE.
FOUR MANDARINES "Silver Son Johnnie" 45 (MR) '77
Far away from those overplayed morons Radio Birdman or
similarly venerated Americans like Destroy All Monsters,
a bunch of ridiculous (probably diseased and homosexual)
Swedes were churning out a similar Stooges stew, albeit
with Raw/Dangerhouse guitars and stomach-turning lyrics
("But Johnnie has got a guitar...and he plays it fast!!)
the Four Mandarines sweep away any competition with another
one of those FOLK hooks! It's TOO GREAT.
BESOKARNA "Kamikaze" 45 (Heartwork) 80
Ah, Heartwork Records. From the acid-damaged ribaldry of
Richard widen to the machine-gun punk antics of City Kent,
Heartwork had the most incredible sthble of artists of any
label in history. It's up there with; Dangerhouse, Raw,
Dischord, Touch & Go, Spiral Vertigo!. This demo-only single
(numbered edition of 300; 40 copies with two different
B-sides) contains a salt-heavy Vox Great Plains and
the Thought Criminals, an agonized propulsive onslaught,
punk intellectuals (the nameo f .the., band means "Berserkers")
in a heartbreaking handstamjied sleeve. "You must own," as
the Swedes often say.
SOME OF MY FAVORITE PACKAGING
1 . ) Bonzo Dog Band-Tadpoles reissue (Edsel).
I do like the way the imprint stamp on a promo original
at Hideout sets off the die-cut, but somehow the gleaming
yellow glossy on the reissue really sets the ions tingling
in my fingers.. .maybe just because Edsel actually went
to the trouble of reproducing all the lavish details
on a record they really can't be making that much money
on. Vivian Stanshall.' s octagon glasses are stunning in
cut-out, and with the aid of your hand you can change
them into a golden ring and a 40's toothpaste woman.
Needless to say, the yellow is especially rich and buttery.
2. ) Absolut vodka box.
Not all of them come with this. Mine is a reflective silver
stamped "ABSOLUT" in non-reflective navy. It's a stunning
effect, and I haven't been able to put the bottle in the
freezer yet because it isn't clear what to do with the box.
Right now it's sitting on the kitchen counter, where it
makes a lovely knick-knack.
3. ) Anthony More-Flying doesn't help.
One of those heavy double-gloss British sleeves that ooze
luxury. Anyone who'd put this much into a sleeve must be
worth knowing. A grainy exposed negative is slathered with
a tinted developing fluid of some sort (comes in red, green,
and a sort of orange-yellow); in matching shade, someone
has fingerpainted the title at the top and a diffident
"A. More" in the lower left-hand corner. The back lists
the songtitles in the same dreamy style over another
blurred photo of some people in another decade standing
on a boardwalk. Best of all, the record comes in one of thos
silk-lined innersleeves that actually make records sound
better after they've been in them for a while. A German
edition, equally impressive, depicts a harsh BS.W pic of
More on the cover with the information in hard white typewriter
letters on a black background. .It's a totally different
effect.
4 . ) Psycho Surgeons-"Horizontal action."
A little obvious maybe, but what a package. An industrial-
strength cardboard 45 sleeve ( a textural delight in itself)
dripping with hardened brown pig's blood. It's dry and ridged.
The cheesy "Wallaby Beat" on the label jumps right off, and
you gotta wrestles the single outta the wallet...it's a joy,
I'm tellin' you...
23

TFTH
FOOD
by George Boulukos
Walkin' down the street/ one thought we all have is,
''Fuck# I'm Hungry!" Seems the problem is that any "eating
establishment" is happy to grab yer cash and screw you
seriously/ are they any less happy if it all comes up
in the middle of the night? Not if you don't raise any/
uh, stink. Now, some of you may have forgotten Curtis's
fave dining tale. Seems he went to some Chinatown, Boston,
eatery just before closing. Getting home, he opened the
little cartons to find his expected mu shi pork, hot-sour
soup, chickenlo-mein and...a wad of hair covering a few
rotted veggies and some undefinable slime. Not to wax
moralistic, it seems kinda sleazy that the fellah who picked
up the phone would say only, "Close, close, close" on
auditin' old King Kurt's complaints.
The general upshot is, I m bullshit. If you go to
a place where anything more than the say-average dish
requires the slappin' down of a tenner, nausea is probable.
So cook yourself, bozo. No! I'm not telling you to slip
a frozen dinner in the Nuke. Buy a cookbook, fool. You
probably don't even have a kitchen. Move! The whole world
is screwing you. All you need is a couple bux, and you'll
be set for the basic goodies, f'r example, the bag of
"Frijoles Negroes," (open yr horizon, loser: "Black Beans")
costs $.59. You can make at least five meals for two
out of two of these suckers. Buy a five-pounder (ten if
yr "hip") of rice fer 2 bux, an onion, a lil chili powder,
and some garlic. Throw that shit together in a pot; when
it's gettin* soft, throw on the rice. Yum-Yum!
If that's not yr bag, Howsabout a few lemons, some
oregano (if you don't have it yr fukt) and some chicken
quarters. (Rice is required.) Throw it in a pan, scatter
the oregano loosely after thouroughly soaking with
lemon. Update lemon as it cooks.
Yum Yum!
MEALS FOR CHAIRS MISSING Try 'em!
"Practice Makes Perfect" It's a sushi-sashimi platter with
yellowfish maki, tuna maki, smoked eel maki, crab maki, Calif
ornia roll, salmon nigiri, mackerel nigiri, pieces of squid,
tuna, yellowfish, flounder, sturgeon eggs. Comes with wasabi.
Served on blue and white plates in a cool room decorated in pine.
"French Film Blurred" Salad bar. Features fresh Boston lettuce,
delicate slivers of bacon and ham, croutons, red onions, fresh
Chinese mushrooms, tangy mustard dressing, fresh slices of lox,
and pats of farm butter. No tomato.
"Another The Letter" A quick lunch. Hamburg club with lettuce,
tomato, bacon, and a lot of mayo, plus a soft drink: coke, orange
soda or root beer. Fries and a small side of slaw or potato
salad. The ketchup may have extra sugar added.
"Men 2nd" Franks and beans. The franks don't have rolls and
are festooned with sauerkraut. Mustard and ketchup are optional.
The beans, sweet and thick, have an occasional baby onion.
"Marooned" A pitcher of fresh water with a lemon in it. The
settin is a foreign cafe, in Paris or Algiers. The cool inter
ior contains two men wearing fezzes who stare at you during
the entirety of the meal. The day is so hot the bricks of the
sidewalk swim, and no one is outside. You sit at the parasol
table nearest the door, grasping the metal poLe, fighting a
headache.
"Sand In My Joints" It's spaghetti! The sauce is made with
fresh tomatoes and lean beef, built from an onion/garlic/mushroom
saute. Liberal olive oil has boiled off already, plus: oregano,
basil, dill, salt, pepper, sugar, cayenne. Fresh pasta, rich
parmesan cheese, and huge helpings. It's zesty & sweet.
"Being Sucked In Again" You walked into the wrong Chinese
restaurant. After you're seated, in a room so far in you're
not sure of the way out, you realize that the menu's entirely
in Chinese. You try to explain this to the waiter, who will
only reply, "Hasima." So you just point at several dishes.
After an interminable wait, a plate of grey tripe arrives,
with snow peas festooned around the edges. The round top of
the tripe glistens wetly.
24
"Hearbeat" In a downtown ice cream store that only old ladies
frequent, you picked up several boxes of candied fruit. Ac
tually, it's those half-moon citrus candies with gum-drop
filling, in yellow, green, orange, red, black. The sugar is
gritty against you teeth; then it all dissolves into a smooth
mass as it slips down your throat. The boxes depict sexy women
in fifties clothing.
"Mercy" At a fancy restaurant, with your parents. It's
a north Italian place where you have to reserve weeks in ad
vance. Located in a distant suburb, you enter through an
innocuous facade. It's dark already, and the street is quiet.
Inside the maitre d' escorts you to your table, where you
order a meal that consists of several appetizers and a main
pasta dish. In addition, your parents order a bottle of wine.
You have shrimps in remoulade; they are spicey and delicate.
You drink wine and start on the fish in white sauce. It's
smooth, packed with bones, the flesh fresh and bland, the
sauce sweet and thick. The room, filled with well-dressed
diners, shimmers before your parents. You're drunk, but your
parents don't realize it. The black curtains at the front
keep out the outdoors, and white-dressed waiters and poised
maitre d ' , speaking softly in their Italian accents, move around
in a dream.
"Outdoor Miner" A series of small sandwhiches served in triangles.
They are: watercress and butter, salted-and-peppered cucumber
with mayonnaise, extremely thin-sliced roast beef with
russian dressing on toast, and Cheddar cheese with Branston
pickle on wheat bread.
"I Am The Fly" The meal begins with three tostadas and a bowl
of chips with guacamole. The tostadas are crisp, covered with
hot bean paste, freshly-shredded lettuce and light Cheddar
cheese, fresh hunks of tomato and sparkling red picante sauce.
The guacamole, richly green, contains large chunks of
avocado, onions, garlic, a lot of pepper, salt, and cayenne,
plus a little curry powder and a dollop of sour cream. It
has medium picante sauce mixed in. It is cold. You never
make it to the burritos.
"I Feel Mysterious Today" Dinner at a friend's apartment.
It's May, and you eat on-fhe balcony, eighteen stories up.
As you dine, you see the city's skyline over your friend's
shoulder. On the table are a variety of little bowls with
sauces: a cheese sauce, red sauce, onion sauce, duck sauce,
hoi-sin sauce.
"From The Nursery" You cooked at home. It's cinammon and
honey chicken. Mix up three parts honey to one part hot
water in a dish. In another dish, put several tablespoons
of flouf*; add plenty of cinammon, nutmeg, and some pepper.
Mix well. Cut up the chicken. Melt some butter in an
oven preheated to 375 degrees; take out the pan. Roll each
piece of chicken in the honey mixture, then in the dry
mixture. Put them in the pan, and cook half-an-hour skin-
side down. Pull out the pan, turn over the pieces, and cook
fifteen minutes longer. Remove and serve with fluffy white
rice. The chicken is stubbly, golden-brown, sweet.
"Used To" You were supposed to go to the movies with an old
friend. He never showed up, and you wander about, lost in the
early evening. Next to a grey park you hadn't noticed before,
a man is packing up his hot dog stand. You convince him to
sell you one. It is long, firm, smothered in hot brown mustard
and sauerkraut. You push it down your throat in warm chunks.
On a bench in the park, you think of a party you went to
three years ago. \
"Too Late" At 9 AM, you're late for work. You walk past a
pastry shop, however, and the smell catches you so hard you
turn around abruptly and enter it. Inside, the layered, varied
smells of the bakery fly up your nose and you order an
enormous box. You fill it with twelve different kinds of
cookies, half-chocolate, fruit, glazed, cream filled; plus
three rectangular flaky Napoleons, two pieces of wet chocolate
cake, cream donuts, three huge chocolate eclairs dripping
yellow filling, and a glazed square pastry filled with fresh
strawberries.
Out on the sidewalk, you call your boss to tell him you've
quit.
TFTH: Patrick
MARTIN PHILLIPS-vocals, guitar
JUSTIN HARWOOD-bass
CAROLINE EASTHER-drums
We interviewed the Chills just before their Cat Club show
on July 12.
TFTH: Tell me a little bit about the Same.
MARTIN:It was very much a thrashy school punk band, very
rough. We were all still at school. Went through a couple
key line-up changes in about a year and a half, broke
up and became the Chills. The Same started in '78; the Chills
in 1980.
TFTH: Who was in the- Same?
MARTIN: Uh... (long pause) Want all the names.
TFTH: Anyone I might have heard of?
MARTIN: Let's see, Richard Bateson went on to the Stones,
Jane Dodd went to the Chills and then the Verlaines, Donald
played in the Clean for about two weeks.
TFTH: So it was really one of the first bands from Dunedin.
What else was going on at the time?
MARTIN: Oh, there was a lot going on, it all very much came
about as a result of seeing bands like the Clean and the Enemy.
T F T H : How big is Dunedin? A city?
MARTIN: It's a city by our standards. It's about a hundred
thousand people.
T F T H : Is it cold? It's close to the Antarctic, right?
MARTIN: It's cold.
JUSTIN: Cold enough to name your band the Chills. (For more
intelligent remarks from Justin, see ttie separate interview
with HIM.)
TFTH: Any Same songs that later went on to be Chills songs?
MARTIN: "Frantic Drift."
TFTH: How old were you when you started the Same?
MARTIN: About fourteen.
TFTH: Was it easy for you to get gigs around Dunedin?
MARTIN: We'd get a few bands together and play a hall. We
couldn't play pubs we were too young.
TFTH: Any Same recordings?
MARTIN: I'm quite keen on getting everyone back together to
do about five songs but there aren't any old tapes.
TFTH: You mean actually get the original line-up together and
record some of the songs?
MARTIN: One of them's in Australia.
TFTH: How did the transition into the Chills come about?
27
MARTIN: The Same stopped being a fun thing...they sort of
brought me in cause I played electric guitar and I started
to take over and play my songs. I should have just left it
as a thrashy punk band. I started to realize that it wasn't
the band .for -me, and it all ground to a halt. And almost
immediately the Chills started up. With Peter Gutteridge.
T F T H : He was in the Clean, rioht?
MARTIN: Yes, he was in the Clean and then the Great Unwashed.
Now he's in a band called Snapper.
JUSTIN: They used to be the Fromms.
T F T H : Has there been someone from every New Zealand band in
the Chills?
MARTIN: I think we missed a co^jole along the line.
TFTH: Why so many changes?
JUSTIN: Martin's a fascist.
MARTIN: Dunedin was such a small music scene, there were
lots of people changing from band to band...the Chills, the
Verlaines...
TFTH: Someone should make a family tree.
MARTIN: Somebody started.
T F T H : Why Dunedin? It seems most of the bands we know about
come from there or Christchurch.
MARTIN: I guess those bands started at about the same time...
(drifting away)...the whole timing is...
JUSTIN: Flying Nun is the only label that's gotten exposure
over here.
T F T H : The view is that there's only one record label in New
Zealand.
JUSTIN: I think there is, about.
MARTIN: There are others. Flying Nun is the most well-known.
It's the biggest.
TFTH: Is Flying Nun just Roger Shepherd?
MARTIN: Well, Chris Knox is doing stuff. This guy Gary
Cope...it's Gary and Roger. They must be going fo.r a hundred
releases now.
TFTH: A lot of which aren't available, right?
MARTIN: Most of them are still available in New Zealand.
TFTH: Oh yeah? What about the Pin Group? Were they from Dunedin?
MARTIN: They're from Christchurch.
TFTH: How did your involvement with the Clean come about? Didn't
you play organ on "Tally Ho?"
MARTIN: Yes, I did. I hung around, got in the way. I got a
musical education from the Clean.
TFTH: What music were you listening to back then? Did any
American or English music filter down there?
MARTIN: (long pause) Pretty much all the same sort of things...
all the groups...
T F T H : Who's your favorite band?
MARTIN: I don't know, they all disappoint me eventually.
TFTH: How did the current line-up of the Chills come about?
MARTIN: Oh well, the Lost EP was Chills #8, and #9- sort of
lasted a year...thei fell apart, so I found the other ones.
T F T H : How did you find them?
MARTIN: They replied to ads. a
T F T H : (to ovcryoim else) Wore you guys Chills funs buftms you
joined the band?
(long, apathetic pause)
CAROLINE:. Not.-really.
JUSTIN: Not fanatical.
CAROLINE: We were aware of the Chills. I didn't mind the Chills.
JUSTIN: I must have seen them, but I can't remember seeing them.
TFTH: How incredibly HUGE are the Chills in New Zealand?
MARTIN: I'm sorry?
(repeat question)
MARTIN: The new band played out in January, got some gigs, and
it was really big. The whole major label music scene.
TFTH: Great.
JUSTIN: After the Chills went overseas and came back, it got
much more popular.
TFTH: Why do you suppose that is?
MARTIN: Inferiority complex.
JUSTIN: They like music fiom overseas better than New Zealand
bands. The public's brainwashed into believing it's better.
T F T H : A couple of the singles went gold in New Zealand, right?
MARTIN: How much is gold?
JUSTIN: I t s 7,000 for a single in New Zealand.
TFTH: You once said your chief goal was to make the audience
cry.
MARTIN: Not chief goal, but yeah. Real emotional. A couple
people have cried.
TFTH: How many Chills songs are there?
MARTIN: Songs.
TFTH: Yeah.
MARTIN: This band's got about forty...there's probably been
another fifty...And there's bits and pieces of son^ that...
probably a couple hundred songs.
TFTH: With so much material, why did you put out only a couple
scattered singles and one 12" EP?
MARTIN: The line-up changes. You'd need people in the band
for a year to record an album.
TFTH: When you wrote "Doledrums," were you actually on welfare
at tie time?
MARTIN: Yeah.
TFTH: Are there lots of kids on the dole? Unemployment?
MARTIN: Yeah, there's quite a bit. Do you have the figures?
(to Justin)
JUSTIN: A couple hundred thousand. Out of three million.
TFTH: But does the government support musicians at all?
JUSTIN: The last government.
28
CAROLINE: Only in grants through QE2.
TFTH: What's QE2?
CAROLINE: The QE2 Arts Council.
JUSTIN: Queen Elizabeth.
CAROLINE: There are grants for three or four hundred for a
band who's doing an EP...
TFTH: So basically the government accepts rock'n'roll as
"art."
MARTIN: It *does now. There was quite a problem with the
last government. Robert Muldoon who was the Prime Minister was
a real asshole, and he kept throwing about these, whether
rock music was "culture" went on for months and months,
'cause there's a 40% sales tax on non-cultural product.
JUSTIN: There's a new guy now,.who is Labour, he says that
new bands are a lot more exciting than classical stuff.
Our New Zealand Symphony Orchestra was getting five hundred
thousand dollars a year, so he said, they can pay for
themselves. They got a big uproar about that. He met Billy
Bragg when Billy Bragg was there, went backstage, shook
his hand. He's a pretty cool guy. Still not that supportive.
TFTH: The governments all pretty left-wing down there, the
Nuclear-Free New Zealand thing...
MARTIN: No...
JUSTIN: It's really weird, 'cause the National government
are really really staunch when it comes to free enterprise,
but then the Labour government came in, and they threw
the Americans out. There's free health services, everything,
free insurance.
TFTH: Can you survive on the dole?
MARTIN: Barely.
CAROLINE: Yeah.
JUSTIN: You get about sixty U.S. dollars a week. It's much
cheaper to live in New Zealand.
TFTH: It better be.
JUSTIN: It's quite generous. Better than England.
MARTIN: Well, we're going to home for Christmas.
TFTH: Are you homesick?
MARTIN: I'm pacing my homesickness.
JUSTIN: We're going home, we get to go home. It's not like
we're stuck in New York with no money.
TFTH: Don't you feel dislocated?
MARTIN: No.
JUSTIN: No, I feel fine, 'cause I know I m going back.
CAROLINE: There's a lot of grass in Manhattan.
TFTH: Who does all the Chills artwork?
MARTIN: I've done most of it. And it's getting better, I
promise.
TFTH: I noticed the reference to 2000 AD comics on the
last single. Are you guys fans of that?
MARTIN: Yeah.
T F T H : What's the song "Bite" about?
MARTIN: Obese people.
TFTH: So it's basically anti-fat people.
MARTIN: Yeah. It's not serious.
TFTH: The Lost EP sounds pretty anomalous in the context
of your other stuff. Were you aiming for a differpt sound
consciously, or did it come naturally?
MARTIN: It was the Chills #8, the band, in a situation with
enough money to record, and we had basic raw material...
pop songs, it didn't really represent what the band was
like at the time.
TFTH: Almost a folky thing.
MARTIN: Yeah.
TFTH: So the current band doesn't do songs off that record.
MARTIN: It does "This Is The Wav" and "Whole Weird World,"
sometimes.
TFTH: Who produced the new record?
MARTIN: Mayo Thompson did it.
T F T H : He's living in England now.
MARTIN: We did a single with him, "House With A Hundred
Rooms."
TFTH: Does this stuff have the same kind of sound as "I Love
My Leather Jacket?"
MARTIN: No. It's different.
TFTH: Good. Why?
MARTIN: "I Love My Leather Jacket" was a different band. This
is Chills #10.
TFTH: Are you guys Pere Ubu fans?
MARTIN: I really like the three records I have.
JUSTIN: I like them.
TFTH: Where do you get the subject matter for your songs?
MARTIN: Just getting pissed off at the horrible lyrics in
pop music, and spending a lot of time on writing them.
TFTH: Do you read a lot?
MARTIN: Not anymore. I don't know what's happened, I used
to read heaps. I only read comics anymore. I start a lot
of books, but I have a psychological block.
T F T H Do you read any other comics beside 2000 AD?
MARTIN: Swamp Thing, Phantom.
TFTH: Does the rest of the band write songs at all?
JUSTIN: We've been known to write songs in our pasts, but...
there's not much need really.
MARTIN: A lot of my own stuff I want to get finished and
done, and at the same time, the band is...helping write
new stuff as a band. We all write songs.
TFTH: This band plans to be permanent.
MARTIN: Yeah.
TFTH: No break-up is imminent.
CAROLINE: No.
JUSTIN: There's not much point, really. Even if we hated
each other. Which we don't.
TFTH: Band tensions?
JUSTIN; No, not really.
MARTIN; (as if awakening from a stupor) If I may say, one
of the reasons I took so long is that I wanted to find
the right people, theright personalities to work with.
T F T H ; Through all the different line-ups, the Chills
manage to retain the same feeling, the same kind of sound.
Is there any other member of the Chills who was a long
term member besides Martin, who shaped the sound of the
band?
MARTIN: I think the most important was Terry Moorer, the
bassist, who joined the second band, lasted for five or
six line-ups. The songs are Chills songs.
TFTH: Is all the TV down there permeated with American
culture?
MARTIN: We've got two channels, a third one's coming soon.
JUSTIN: British TV's amazing, the documentaries and stuff
are much 'better than the American ones.
TFTH: Right on, brother.
MARTIN: New Zealand is very much Western culture, it's got
elements of most things from the West, poverty included.
TFTH: That's a myth about New Zealand, that it's all
rolling pasture and sheep.
JUSTIN: (pause) Well there are a lot of sheep, six million
of them.
T F T H : You're really Mr. Numbers, aren't you.
JUSTIN: Yeah, it's six to one sheep to people. But poverty's
a lot less...the very rich in New Zealand are not as rich
as the very rich in America and the very poor are not as
poor as some people over here.
MARTIN: Obviously people are living on the street down
there as well.
TFTH: Was "Pink Frost" written about a real experience?
MARTIN: No, it was a' musical conclusion inspired by certain
feelings, like that,if you woke up and found y o u d killed
your lover.
TFTH: Was that single produced by one certain line-up? It
has such a bass-heavy sound.
MARTIN: No, what happened was we went up to Auckland for
the first time with the Chills, and recorded the "Rolling
Moon" single. Then we went back down to Dunedin. We had
studio time booked so we put down two new songs, "Pink
pe'TiOV'v 'Ta.Unncj
?;ew/ 2eoi|
new yov'k, tnid-SMvnvner'
Frost" and "Purple Girl," for a fiVe-song EP with "Midnight
Owl," "Night Of Chill Blue" and one other song.
TFTH: Were any of those other songs recorded at the time?
MARTIN: No. "Night Of Chill Blue" is going on the new album.
"Midnight Owl" is out as a live version on this limited-
release single in Germany. They wanted something to put
out with Kaleidoscope World, so we gave them these two
songs from the same show as "The Great Escape." Anyway,
so we got "Pink Frost" and "Purple Girl" down with Martyn
Bull on drums. Later on, after he died, the vocals and
guitar were so bad we re-recorded them.
TFTH: So the original tracks were Martyn Bull on drums,
and the bass player.
MARTIN: Yeah.
T F T H 8 You guys must have left a lot of people behind in
New Zealand.
JUSTIN: I left it all, for rock'n'roll. Andy's made up for it.
MARTIN: And again. And again and again and again.
JUSTIN? But don't print that in New Zealand.
TFTH: How did the Chills initially hook up with Flying
Nun? J
MARTIN: We started the company with Roger Shepherd, be
cause so many New Zealand bands...major labels over there,
very much subsidiaries, look for bands that sound like a
New Zealand copy of an Australian copy of an American
band.
JUSTIN: I think Bruce sold 256,000 units of Born In The USA.
A good percentage. Double-platinum is 50,000' units. And that's
not much, in America. So that's what we're competing with,
really. We're competing with music stores that want to
put Bruce Springsteen in the window.
MARTIN; It took a long time.
T F T H : What are your plans for US releases?
MARTIN: That's why we're here. Our manager, and our label...
TFTH: Are you guys living in a house together in London?
JUSTIN: No. Andy and I live with the manager. Marty and
his girlfriend have a house about two miles away. Caroline
and her girlfriend live about two miles away with some
friends fromNev Zealand. And it's very expensive to live,
rent-vise, in an average house at least. It's about thirty
quid a week. Marty's house is two bedrooms. Very nice, but
quite a way out of London. A total of 400 pounds a month.
And that's very cheap.
CAROLINE: It's very cheap.
JUSTIN: And that's about five miles out of London.
TFTH: How do you get' in, take the bus?
MARTIN: Well we're near two tube lines.
JUSTIN: That's a very good train, the tubes.
CAROLINE: I'll never take the tube. I'll take the bus.
TFTH: You don't like it?
JUSTIN: I love it.
CAROLINE: I'd rather spend an extra couple hours travelling
on the bus.
TFTH: Why? It does have a really distinctive smell. It doesn^t
smell like urine, though, like the New York subway system.
MARTIN: No, you know what it smells like, it smells like oil.
CAROLINE: Oil, yes.
JUSTIN: It's very dirty. It's a lot more closed than this
tube here. This train here, is like a train, but the subway
in London is really just a tube. I love it. The older
trains actually run through the old sewage systems.
MARTIN: One thing that's surprised me since I've been here
is the political complacency, where everyone else in the
world's scared out of their minds.
TFTH: What did you expect?
MARTIN: Well...I don't know.
JUSTIN: I expected Americans not to know or to be totally
against what their government is doing. Or be totally for
it.
TFTH: You get apathy more than anything else.
JUSTIN: You get a lot of people not actaully realizing the
extent of American-Russian influence in the world. Even in
our accent, it's got a sort of twang. A lot of New Zealanders
are now starting to say "asshole" a lot. "You asshole."
And that's actually probably from TV programs.
TFTH: But nobody says asshole on TV.
JUSTIN: Well, they do, uh, they do in New Zealand. They
do in the movies. And people don't just go, "Ah, I'll say
asshole 'cause it sounds great," but after fifty years
you hear American-English spoken a lot more than English-
English. Arid you find a lot of New Zealanders, when
they say'it, 'say "Piss off you ass-hole," which is a
very American way of saying it. In Europe, we had a lot
of people saying we sounded like Americans.
, n Jo
,
drawing by David Kilgour
29
 TFTH; Is there a lot of street violence in New Zealand?
Gangs?
JUSTIN: There's a big increase in crime. Lots of incest.
TFTH; A lot of incest?
JUSTIN: Yeah. It's catching on.
TFTH: W h y s that?
JUSTIN: I t s a really big problem thats just been exposed.
But our street crime, you'll find someone will get shot
or beaten todaath in New Zealand on the street, and the
whole country will go into shock. It's not so much a
rare occurrence, but it's like, so violent, that the
whole country will get upset aJaput it. What you hear about
New York is so much worse.
TFTH: You guys are probably the biggest Flying Nun band.
MARTIN: Yeah.
JUSTIN: I don't know that there could be such a thing. W e lre
one big happy family.
TFTH: You've played countless gigs with the Verlaines and the
Bats and all those bands.
MARTIN; Just 'cause we're from the same place. We're going
to play a few dates with the Sneaky Feelings in Europe.
TFTH: They've changed a lot. The new record sounds really
"produced" to put it kindly.
MARTIN: I think they've gotten a lot stronger. I think they
tend to go overboard with production in studios. It happened
to us in Europe. They're actually quite good though.
TFTH: What about all those New Zealand bands that aren't on
Flying Nun? Are we ever gonna be able to get their stuff
over here?
JUSTIN: P a l s a good label.
TFTH: Say Yes To Apes.
JUSTIN: Well, there's an album called Class of *81 that's
quite a good record of what was happening in Auckland
at the time, '80 or '81.
TFTH: That Toy Love stuff has got to come out again.
JUSTIN: Chris Knox might be releasing some Enemy stuff.
MARTIN: Toy Love was really great.
'TFTH: Did they sound like the "Squeeze" single?
MARTIN: They were really powerful live.
TFTH: What were the Enemy like?
MARTIN: Punk rock, with more ideals, and great melodies.
TFTH: What about Flesh D-Vice?
MARTIN: I've never seen them.
TFTH: Is there any other previously-recorded Chille stuff,
outtkes? Live tapes?
MARTIN: There isn't anything. The two songs are going on a
flexidisc with Bucketfull Of Brains fanzine...and the songs
on that German single. I like the idea that everything that
could be out will be out, and we can start new.
TFTH: Thats amazing, that in seven years the band never
recorded more or had any detritus. It sounds very unlikely,
in fact.
JUSTIN: We just sort of just made it as a band. We couldn't
have made the album before we did it.
TFTH: You have to play the songs and get to know them.
JUSTIN: And you have to get a sense of the emotions that
rise and fall in the songs. They're not just chord changes.
It's a hell of a lot more than just the melody and the
chord changes.
TFTH:_I originally got in touch with Roger Shepherd to
do this as a mail interview. "Theyre in England, here's
the address." He sent me the address sea mail though,
so I got it a week ago. By that time, I figured we'd do
this as a live interview.
MARTIN: Old Roger.
JUSTIN: Old Roggie. Sent it surface mail!
MARTIN: That's Flying Nun. Sums it up really.
JUSTIN: That's how he's sending the money for the album.
MARTIN: Flying Nun. The way the world should be.
JUSTIN: If you slowed everything down to Flying Nun, it'd
be great. No, Flying Nun's the best place in the world.
We also spoke to Justin separately after the Maxwell's show.
TFTH: Patrick, Jon Easley, Chris Marx
JUSTIN HARWOOD-bass
TFTH: So do you feel the Auckland scene which you came
out of was more tuned in to the English thing, while Dunedin
and Christchurch were more isolated?
JUSTIN: Yeah. Well, obviously in Auckland it's more of a
dance thing. It was this nice bunch of really good bands,
Blam Blam Blam, Screaming Mee Mees...
TFTH: Were Toy Love from Auckland?
JUSTIN: No, they're a Dunedin band. They started this rivalry.
It's funny, 'cause Dunedin bands tore it up when they
first came to Auckland, 1980 or something. All Chris Knox
did was absolutely abuse the audience, and all these Auckland
people loved it. It became the thing to do, when a Dunedin
band goes to Auckland, they abuse the audience. And the
second time you abuse them a little less.
TFTH: Didn't the Auckland bands tour down in Dunedin and
Christchurch?
JUSTIN: They did for a while. They stopped. The Blams,
Mee Mees...
TFTH: The Netherworld Dancing Toys?
JUSTIN: They're a Dunedin band, you see. That's all you hear
30
about. They did soul covers.
TFTH: It's the Flying Nun/Dunedin connection.
JUSTIN: They were really good. They had a horn section. They
were really fresh, white soul, and they wrote their own
songs. They died, 'cause they started getting too serious.
TFTH: The records suck.
JUSTIN: Yeah, they're terrible records. Theyreally are terrible
records. Live, they were a good band.
TFTH: Were you in any bands before the Chills?
JUSTIN: Yeah, I was in quite a few actually.
TFTH: What bands were you in?
JUSTIN: I was in Big Sideways, which was an Auckland band
that was funded by the government the government noticed
on their register that they had too many young, poor
musicians, that had no chance of getting a job, y'see,
they were all on the dole, so they stuck all these musicians
in a room, and we just sat in this room for six months
writing songs. It was really good because the people on the
dole were all really amazing musicians, and what came out of
that was a really really good band. It was a mixture of,
percussion, good melodic songs...it was almost funky, but
not sort of funk in the horrible sense, but in the rhythm
sense. Some really good songwriters like a guy named Robbie
Sinclair,and John Quigley, and thn tere was the North Island
Stowaways,.and the drummer for them is now in the Woodentops.
TFTH: So.are-you from Auckland?
JUSTIN: Yeah, no, actually I'm from the east coast of
the North Island, a little place called Te Araroa.
TFTH: What other bands were you in?
JUSTIN: I was in this is a bit of an embarrassment I was
in a band called (quickly) Cocogaguhoa, which I wasn't
actually in the band. I was in the band, but I wasn't really
in it.
TFTH: What's the name of that band again?
JUSTIN: Cogahuahua. Shh, shh.
TFTH: Yeah, that sounds pretty embarrassing.
JUSTIN: Well it was really funny because the guitarist from
Blam Blam Blam, who, after the Blams sort of got lost, had
a friend of his who was in a band with me, and said,
"Come and join a band," so he joined the band and they
went through about three bass players and I joined the
band in its last moments. And, it was really good working
with him, 'cause he was a guitarist, who, like Marty, is
just so original. Really good playing with original musicians.
TFTH: Was Chris Knox or Alec Bathgate involved in Blam
Blam Blam?
JUSTIN: No, no. There's only three Blams.
TFTH: Someone should dr^w up a Pete Frame-type family tree
for New Zealand.
JUSTIN: Yeah, well there is one. Y'see, there's only a few
hundred thousand people who like music. So out of these
hundred thousand, there's only like fifty musicians. After
ten years of music, you can only have especially with the
Flying Nun thing so many combinations.
TFTH: It's hard to follow.
JUSTIN: It's like Martin was in the Clean for about three
months. He played the organ on "Tally Ho." He did a tour
with them. He wasn't really in the Clean; he toured with
them and playe the organ on a couple songs, and did sound
for them on the four-channel mixer.
TFTH: Living in Auckland when the Clean single came out,
did you hear anything about it?
JUSTIN: No, the first time I heard it was when I saw it
in th charts, watching TV, sitting there, eating ice cream...
TFTH: You heard about the Clean single on TV?
JUSTIN: Yeah, when it got into the charts. #15. Everybody,
everybody in the whole country, except fifteen people in
Dunedin, went, "What?" And then suddenly. Boodle Boodle
Boodle arrived, and went straight to #10. I was totally
away from that scene when it started. And I should have
had a lot to do with it. I moved to Ackland when I was,
about four years ago. I like getting involved with it.
It's really big. The Chills, when the Lost EP earner
out, did a "Lost In Space" presentation at the Windsor,
which is about ten feet bigger than Maxwell's, and if
you can imagine, there were people waiting all the way
down the road, thousands of people waiting to get into
the three-hundred-and-fifty-capacity club.
TFTH: Flying Nun gets a lot of publicity?
JUSTIN: L t . n o t as big as that now. Not as frantic.
It was like the punk movement was in London, or here, maybe...
TRTH: Were you guys aware of punk bands, and American music?
JUSTIN: We were. Yeah, basically. We were aware, and probably
like yourselves, we were eager to make sure we didn't
miss out. My group of friends at school, I wasn't a
fanatic at all, a friend of mine had everything, from
everybody, he had th first Generation X album, New Zealand
had never heard of them.
TFTH: How did he keep on top of it? How were those records
available?
JUSTIN: In New Zealand you make friends with someone in a
record store. And then he finds out who distributes what,
and he writes off and orders them. It's probably like that
here.
TFTH: Is there a lot of to-and-fro with Australia?
JUSTIN: Not really. There's a bit of opposition. We beat
them at rugby. We beat them at cricket. They make jokes
about us and we make jokes about them. Australian music
isn't really that strong in New Zealand. Never has been.
 - t h e M a i ^ f i k e

FLTiHi ^ ^ 3 M-cmJ(m(H-n^Zi/\L!\nD-i>h.h)7 iiii7 2

Probably vice-versa. We haven't been to Australia yet, internationally-acclaimed lager. It's not bitter.-It
'cause a lot of New Zealand bands have been to Australia, equates with the European lagers, almost. But in New
and just got burned out totally. Zealand it's just the best beer you can get. Stein lager
TFTH; Like Toy Love? is so good that Marty wrote a song about stein lager. It's
JUSTIN: Yeah, by the size of the country, and the amount quite a good song actually.
of bands and the amount of people and the amount of work. TFTH: What's it called?
So we decided, Marty decided, London was the best place JUSTIN: "Stein Lager." We haven't played it for a long time.
for us. And that's one of the reasons why I was pretty Then there's Spates. That's quite a good one. Spates is
keen to join, 'cause it's like, if he was going to Australia, brewed and made in Dunedin. And only Dunedinites drink it.
I don't think I would have joined the Chills. I didn't Because it's wretched. There's not that many beers at all.
think I was actually going to join the Chills at all Heineken. But Heineken is so expensive.
until I had a jam with them. T F T H : Do American records get down there? Do people know
TFTH: Were you a Chills fan? ** it?
JUSTIN: No, I wasn't really, I wasn't like, "Wow, Martin JUSTIN: Well...yeah. Big Black would never be heard in
Phillipps." Andy rang me, the keyboard player, 'cause New Zealand.
Marty was pretty keen on talking, so I went along and TFTH: What do you think of them?
had a chat and we talked for about three hours, and we JUSTIN: I love them. I didn't hear them until I got to London.
differ on a-few things, but the main thing is that we We missed them by a day. Our manager picked us up at the
don't differ on what music stands for, a sort of ideal of airport. "What's the matter?" "Oh, I just saw Big Black last
music in its pure form. night. I can't stand up." I've got a couple of bootleg, tapes
TFTH: Which is what? that a guy made in Holland, that I listen to frequently.
JUSTIN: Which is, music as music, and it shouldn't be I've heard Atomizer, but it's only available in Europe.
compromised for anything. But again, it shouldn't be used I really like that, but you never hear it. You hear
as anything but what it is. Like, Marty writes a song, Husker Du, first time we heard Husker Du was Candy Apple
like "Kaleidoscope World," about being in a spaceship, Grey, in New Zealand.
then, he wrote that song. But he means it. The thing I TFTH: What did you make of Boston?
like most about Marty once I played with him was, fwe just
JUSTIN: What did we make?!
ran through a song we all knew, like we ran through
TFTH: Make of it.
"Rolling Moon," and he was just totally captured by it.
JUSTIN: Oh, it looked amazing. We couldn't really see it,
He probably knows every song he sings, and plays, he's
we flew in. But from looking at it, and smelling it, it looked
a bit different on every one...because he wrote a song
great.
called "Frozen Fountain," which is a bit anti-religion, TFTH: Smelling it.
anti-God. Hhen he wrote it, when he was 17, he was really
JUSTIN: Yeah, it smelled really good.
angry about' the whole religious thing and how everyone goes
TFTH: New York smells like garbage.
through it. So he wrote a really blunt, straight-up song
JUSTIN: Yeah, we got off the train today, and said, "What's
that abuses the whole religious thing. His father's a
man of the cloth. President of the Methodist Church. that? Did you just fart?"
But it wasn't about his father, it was about the whole
social sort of thing associated with religion, ceremonial
stuff. And when he sings it, he's a really amazing guy,
you know Marty, he's really quiet when he sings it
he sort of gets this terror in his eyes, and he screams.
He doesn't do it because he's singing a loud song. He
honestly does become as angry as he was when he wrote
the song. And that's the thing I thought the most of,
and that's why I decided this would be a really good
band to join, because it means I can play the song, and
play it for what it's worth, and not get bored with it.
Thing is, if you play a song and you feel an emotion while
you play the song, it never gets boring. It's funny,
that. I've played in bands where I just...played along,
like Cohugahuga, you know, just playing and getting paid,
thanks very much. And by the end of the tour I'd feed
really burned-out. Well, we've played these songs every
night for the last eight months, and every night they
just get bigger and bigger. And that's why I joined the Chills.
And that's why Marty has just kept going. 'Cause every time
he sings a song he gets a rush. Like "Pink Frost," he
still sings "Pink Frost" with that sort of, sadness, well
not sadness, but the emotion that he wrote it with.
Funny thing is, it's like a sad song, but "sad"'s not
quite the right word for it, but no one can pick the
right word, not even him, as he said in an interview
years ago, it's an emotion that you can't even name. It's
the emotion in-between the emotions.
TFTH: There's something very direct and honest about it.
JUSTIN: Yeah, it's real. And that's the idea I was talking
about. When I talk about it, I realize that you can't play
these songs without feeling them. In "Frozen Fountain,"
at the end of it, he does this screaming, spoken verse,
and it ruins his voice. We haven't played...it always has
to be the last song we play, because he just can't sing
afterwards. Even when we were rehearsing it, he used to
try and sing it down an octave, so he wouldn't ruin his
voice, and halfway through he'd just start screaming. And
there's nothing premeditated about the feeling. It's just
the way he is. Hopefully, when you see the Chills, you
get that from him. Which I did, when I saw him. His honesty.
I mean, he writes songs about like "Kaleidoscope World"
is a good example of a song that tells a story. But
it still has that innocence of emotion about it, trhat
innocent reality, that when you're fourteen everything's
great, fantasy's wonderful. And then he grows up and writes
songs like "This Is The Way," which is suddenly realizing
that life is really, you might as well read emoics and take
drugs and get out, and just not worry about it. That's
what you have to do to live. In this day and age. He doesn't
write songs' about stories of people who take overdoses.
He writes stories aboutthe emotions he feels.
TFTH: Are drugs a big thing in New Zealand? The Tall Dwarfs
have a song about it.
JUSTIN: Well, we've got plenty of grass, as you might
imagine, 'cause the climate's perfect for it. Lots of
grass. Cocaine isn't available. We've got quite a big
heroin scene. It's not a problem. People take drugs and
drink a lot. Alcohol's a problem.
TFTH: What do you drink? What are the preferred beers?
JUSTIN: Well, there's two main breweries. There's DB,
and Lyon. Lyon make a very good stein lager. It's an

32
by Patrick Weller Amory

MOD REVIVAL STRIKES TERROR INTO HEARTS OF HAIRY NYC ART-ROCK FAGGOTS!

It all happened one day in the car on the way back from work.
Rocketing down the Long Island Expressway at 85 miles per
hour, Chris clicked one of his "extra-specials" into the tape
deck and cranked up all four speakers into 250 watts of
blazing volume. A couple songs went by, and we were really
whipping our hair around, getting into it, wondering what
the "treat" was coming up on the tape! Live "Youth?" "Zombie"
outtakes? A new "Snakes" demo? All of a sudden, the two apoc
alyptic chords of "All Mod Cons" sliced through the air!
Three massive drumbeats! Sneering British accent! It was the
JAM! We poured ourselves into it so this was what it was
like to listen to music again instead of pretending to like
subdominant fifths and acid-crazed poetry! The song shot
forward into the final devastating verse: "You'll waste..my
time when my time comes, you'll waste my time when my time
comes, you'll waste my time when my time, time, TIME, COMES!"
The car jcilted around wildly and we saw our ankles sloshing
in buckets of grey semen! Gerard lifted up his right leg
and some more streamed down steadily from his trousers!
We were hooked!
We knew this was big-time. So much cooler than Oi. So much Just 'cause you're only hearing about it flow doesn't mean
more happening than metal ("race" music). This was a serious it's not a huge thing, OK, 'cause it ij3. Just look around a
revival. It could have the whole scene quaking in its boots. little and see. All that New York grunge rock is going
Byron and Thurston calling up Gerard, "Hey man, whatcha way. out of fashion now. Listen, buddy, get your gear in
groovin' to?" "Oh, this morning, I checked out 'All Around aetjon this minute, because the JAM are the hugest band this
The World' and now I'm listening to 'Strange Town.' You side of the Who and you can take your arty noise-rock thing
know, the JAM were one of the most brilliant rock bands and shove it up your arse.
in the history of music." Gawping silence. Frantic record
collection searches ("What did I do with that copy of
Setting Sons with the letters in relief?!!") Mike McGonigal
in a target tee-shirt. It was too good. When you think about PEOPLE ARE MOSTLY IGNORANT AND STUPID
it, the whole letting-the-emotions-go thing is getting pretty
old. I mean, Chuck Berry and Little Richard were doing that Selected criticism of fanzines.
kind of thing thirty years ago, right? But not too many
people have ever tried to be British middle class kids "I heard a tape and it reeks of radio play fodder. G.I.
pretending to be working class kids with a social conscience put out all these great singles that you can't find anywhere,
and ugly clothes who could simultaneously cash in on punk and it'll be easy-as-pie to find this hunk of
rock while reviving a 20-year-old fashion style and steal poop in^he independent rack at the record mart." CHEMICAL
chords from the Who! That's a pretty hard-to-find combo! IMBALANCE
The next day I came downstairs wearing a parka and
dark glasses. I got in the car without a word. I stole a Yeah, G.I., the band that made #88 on the CMJ charts, with
glance at the other two. Chris was wearing a giant Union their college radio hit. singles? Thatmasterpiece11Legless
Jack blazer and tight polyester trousers. Gerard was wearing Bull, surely G.I.'s finest moment, is on the^extremely-rare"
a Who tee-shirt, a round bowl haircut, and a parka with a Dischord Four Old 7-Inches album? Give Us Stabb is ubiquitous
giant "9" painted on the back. Without a word Chris pushed as a Mystic 12"> uh. Make An Effort? Mike?
the tape into the deck. The heartrending strings of "Smithers-
Jones" tore through the car. (LP version, of course.) We
Actually, that's all I have time for right now.
fairly flew onto the Williamsburg Bridge. We'd all kept
respectuflly silent through the trauma of Smithers-Jones,
till just after he gets fired, when Chris roared along with
Paul, "Work, work and work till you die 'cause there's plenty
moro fish in tho sun to FRY" nnd Gornrcl and I burnt into I m a m .
The last violin and cello notes faded and the brutal chords
of "Saturday's Kids" rang out! This was rock! Better, they
were talking about US! "Saturday's kids live life with insults,
drink lots of beer and watch the half-time results" this
was our life! They, the JAM, the greatest rock band of all
time, were singing to us, about OUR women, OUR pubs, OUR
stains on the seat, "in the back of course!" When we got to
work I swooped in on the defect singles section and scooped
up a "Town Called Malice," a "Love Is Like A Heatwave," an
"A-Bomb In Wardour Street" and a "Down In The Tube Station At
Midnight." Things got a little out of hand that day at
lunch when Chris suggested we blow off going home that day
and. take the car to Cheltenham to watch the mods on the beach.
It sounded like a great idea, until Gerard said, "Chris,
this is Long Island.-There are no mods here, except us." We
fell into a great depression that was only relieved by
hearing "This Is The Modern World" and "All Around The World"
in reverse order from the American version of the. album.
After a couple weeks, no car tape was allowed unless it
had a JAM song on it somewhere. We all had big JAM posters
plastered up around the desk at work. I remember someone saying
to me, perhaps that mama's boy Craigie Marks, "Patrick, the
JAM broke up six years ago. Paul Weller's in the Style
Council now. You're just getting into it too late." I
think I hit him several times in the head and then kicked
him several times with my new black boots. You just can't
let people go around saying shit like that.

34

TFTH
SPORTS .
Gerard Cosloy
and the ladies NEVER ask hov much I bench press
Time is money and money is time and I don't have all day
to answer questions from a bunch of faggots and peons like
yourselves. Lotta losers wanna know how a handsome/ cultured,
highly successful renaissance man like myself could take
professional wrestling seriously. "That stuff's fake,
right?" Woah, thanks for filling me in daddy. Like,
do you ignorant .bubbleheaded swine actually think "athletic
ability" or "realism" have anything to do with enter-'
tainment? I mean, what are "real sports" anymore? College
basketball players get busted for point-shaving. Baseball
pitchers mutilate the ball, and desperate hitters load
their bats with cork.. Brainless monsters of the gridiron
pump themselves up with steroids. Hockey players try and
crush each other's skulls before the opening faceoff. What
the hell are "real sports?" Pro wrestling is not about
credibility (and you bet these guys cut their own heads
open with wire no ketchup for these men}/ it's about good
vs. evil, it's about taking popular cultural icons and
repackaging them so that they fit snugly into a bizzarre
world where wrestling is the only sport, the only
rock'n'roll, the only justice left on television.
Wrestling is a bigger deal today than it was 10 years
ago. Not that it wasn't pretty huge then too, but in the
1980's wrestling has crossed over to the general population,
much the same way lots of terrible white-bread new wave
has found mass acceptance. Since most of you spudheads
have never seen cable TV in your worthless lives, here's
a brief rundown on the major promotions, their biggest
stars, and other distinguishing characteristics.
1) WWF
Babyfaces: Hulk Hogan, Bam Bam Bigelow, Hacksaw Duggan
Kicky Steamboat, KoKo B. Ware
Heels j Ted DiBiase, Andre The Giant, One Man Gang,
Harley Race
Current Champ: Randy Savage
Formerly known as the WWWF, until the squareheaded Vince
McMahon took over the reins from his late papa Vince Sr.
The WWF is the largest and most recognizable wrestling
promotion in the sport today, and thanks to Vince Jr.'s
massive forays into the world of cable-TV expansion, buying
.
out_.ther promoters' airtime, swiping high-priced talent
from ullu.il Lorri lories, ute., it lias become virtually
synonymous with pro wrestling in the mind of your average
couch potato. In a manner not unlike that of say, Enigma
Records, Vince has streamlined his wrestling shows to the
point where they've become nothing more than a bad cartoon.
slickly-produced, glitzy, high-tech cartoon, but a
crummy one nonetheless. Once a primarily East Coast operation,
McMahon Jr. has gone national with a vencieancc, putting
regional promoters all over the USA out of buiness.
Sweetheart deals with local arenas (e.g. McMahon gets
an exclusive on all wrestling shows if he guarantees
a certain dollar amount per year), physical intimidation
and worse, are hallmarks of the McMahon style. Vince might
well be the George Steinbrenner of wrestling the idea of
the WWF creating its own homegrown talent went out with
the dark ages. Virtually all of the WWF's vast talent
pool consists of wrestlers who were previously established
stars for competing promotions...check out the list:
Hulk Hogan (ex-AWA, Verne Gange discovery)
Bam Bam Bigelow (indie freak who slaved under Larry Sharpe,
made a splash in Texas and Memphis previously, once with
a fake Russian handle)
Harley Race (former 7-time NWA champ, clearly at the end
of his overrated career, taken more 'cause of what his
loss would mean to the NWA than for what the WWF would
ever gain).
Hacksaw Duggan (pot-smoking problem driver, has worked every
where, most recently for the now-defunct UWF promotion in
Oklahoma)
Ted DiBiase (another journeyman, his most recent pre-Vince
stint was in the UWF where he toiled successfully as a
heartthrob/babyface, growing a beard must've made the ladies
forget his leg-breaking days in the NWA. Vince now has him
working with the "Million Dollar Man" schtick, which has
gone over amazingly well for a role that's such a total
Ric Flair ripoff)
Sne Man Gang (collossal freak, formerly of Von- Erich land
and the UWF)
Jake The Snake Roberts (archetypal flipflopper who's
flirted with good & badguy roles with equal amounts of
success throughout Texas and Georgia. Vince has him carryina
around a giant python named Damien, who Jake wraps around
the neck of his unfortunate opponent following each DDT-
inflicted victory, hence "Jake The Snake")
British Bulldogs (yes, these two really are British, al
though they made their name in Calgary. Today Vince has
them wear Union Jacks on their butts and they trot around
with an ugly bulldog named Mathilda)
KoKo B. Ware (worthless lawnjockey scrub-status in the UWF,
Vince grabbed him and elevated KoKo to the status of
"the Birdman," as in the annoying Morris Day tune, "The
Bird." Shades of Robert Blake: Vince forces the hapless
KoKo to enter the ring with a cockatoo named Frankie
perched on his arm. In case you haven't noticed, Vince
likes animals)
Rick Steamboat (former NWA superstar, but that was in the 70*s
m a n . He'll be looking for work elsewhere, soon)
Vince has way too many "superstar" guys working for him to
possibly keep all those egos in line and give everyone
as much TV time as they once received for the last promoter
they worked for. But Vince's scrubs make more $$$ getting
beaten up 300 nights a year than Bill Watts' headliners
were making in 2, so there's your answer. It's all about
the green stuff daddy, that's what all these boys are in
it for. And with no contracts, no union, no health insurance,
ridiculous schedules, rigorous travel, massive risk of
injury, etc., who the fuck can blame them.
2) NWA
Babyfaces:'Barry Windham, Sting, Lex Lugar, The Fantastics,
Dusty Rhodes, Ronnie Garvin
Heels: Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, the Warlord, The
Barbarian, The Midnight Express, A1 Perez,
Larry Zbysko, Mike Rotunda, Kevin Sullivan
Current Champ: Ric Flair
Another family operation, this time Jimmy Jr. taking over from
his late daddy Jim Crockett Sr. (mildly retarded brother David
co-anchors the weekly cablecasts on WTBS). The NWA is the
granddaddy of wrestling promotions, and they still provide
the finest and least-predictable shows in the business.
Jimbo has made some concessions to the modern way (a few
pay-per-view attempts, stadium shows, takeovers of the
Florida, Georgia and Oklahoma promotions), but they're
usually in response to McMahon rather than the result of
any true innovation. Crockett must settle for being second-
biggest in terms of TV/paid attendance, etc., but he's
still the first when it comes to creativity. Together
with matchmaker Virgil Runnels (otherwise known as
corpulent hero Dusty Rhodes, still an active wrestler,
tho' lord knows why), Crockett is responsible for a
weekly litany of rehearsed insanity that everyone else in
the business strives to copy. Among his finest works:
Ric Flair (onetime cocky young stud with the gall to swipe
Buddy Rogers's "Nature Boy" nickname, today Flair is the 1
greatest interview in the sport. Resplendent in his aviator
sunglasses, $700 suits and gorgeous "natural" blond mane,
Ric Flair is the stylin', profilin', limousine-ridin'
son-of-a-gun that every red-blooded american man wishes
he was. Flair's opponents are uncultured nobodies and
punks, young snotnoses looking to make a name for themselves.
They'll never know what it's like to have been to the
top of the mountain 5 times, to have held the ten pounds of
gold for the better part of half-a-decade. They'll never
know what it's like to wear the finest designer clothing,
to own the most expensive Rolex watch, the drive the fastest
Lamborghini in Greensboro, North Carolina. Theyll never
know what it's like to sleep on silk sheets, to ride in
a private jet plane, to have the finest ladies on your
arm and in your bed until the sun comes u p ! Bodybuilding
pretty boys like Lex Lugar and Barry Windham can tear off
their shirts and flex their muscles, but the ladies never
ask the Nature Boy how much he bench presses. He's a 60
minute man and h e s all night long. Space Mountain is
open and lit up like a Christmas tree, and that's all
there is daddy. Woooo!)
The Road Warriors (2 Minneapolis bouncer-types transformed
into "The Legion Of Doom," war paint and leather studs,
mohawk and reverse mohawk (respectively), Animal and Hawk
can lay claim to being the first geunine punk rock tag
team in the sport's hisHsory. With Sabbath's "Iron Man"
as their theme tune and the undying refrain of "...and we
don't care" as their most consistent motto, these 2 are the
most imposing presence in wrestling today. As physical spe
cimens, they're terrifying 600 combined pounds of solid rock,
accentuated by ring garb and makeup that make GWAR look
underdressed. Crockett introduced Animal and Hawk to the
world on WTBS back in 1982 and within months there was
talk of their being "banned" from the NWA, so absolute
was their domination of the competition. Once during an
argument with manager Precious Paul Ellering (a former
grappler himself), they broke both of Ellering's arms on
nationwide TV, "just 'cause we felt like it" (the three
cont'd on page 46
35
 TNG FIRST FIVE YEARS OF

^ a ir p o r t

C o n v e n tio n
by Patrick Amory
Though I liked Richard Thompson's solo albums, it took me
a long time before I bought What We Did On Our Holidays at
Mystery Train for three dollars. I'd heard some Fairport
Convention songs and they'd made little impression. In
worthwhile period, Fairport was the product of eight
nine different minds over a period of five years. None
the albums is consistently great, and the conscious
away from rock lends some of the traditional songs a
air. Sandy Denny's vocal wavers to the point of
while Dave Swarbrick's is at best an acquired taste.
So I had the album in my room for several weeks before
I really listened to it. In 1969, the band included Sandy
Denny, Richard Thompson, vocalist Ian Matthews, guitarist
Simon Nicol, bassist Ashley Hutchings, and drummer Martin
Lamble. On Holidays, their second album, everyone but
Lamble gets songwriting credits; ift addition, the album
contains two covers and two traditional songs. This deliberate
eclecticism imposes a different sound on every song, making
the record that much more impenetrable. After a couple false
starts, I tried the first Thompson track, "No Man's Land."
A light accordion and drums careen into a rich vocal melody,
harmonies like velvet, guitars working out an uplifting
message of despair: "It's no use to be free, if lies are
all the truth they see..." Ian Matthews's sweet tenor
seemed more reminiscent of Emitt Rhodes or Gene Clark than
any traditional folksinger. The harmonies resembled early
Byrds or Jefferson Airplane, while the accordion and depressing
lyrics had some aspects of traditional English folk. I
picked up the needle and played "No Man's Land" four or
five more times. The vocal modulated down just before
the chorus, only to rise again, "when you're through...."
I'd never heard anything like this. It was nowhere near as
immediate as the first Thompson solo albums: the production
was thin and faraway, the band occasionally unsure. But the
sound was strange and intriguing.
Next I put on the other Thompson song, "Tale In Hard
Time." Thompson's piercing guitar introduced Matthews's
mournful "Take the sun from my heart, and let me learn to
disguise..." A harpsichord muttered through the song, but
otherwise the structure was economical. A spare melody and
sharp drums, a short guitar solo stretching everything even
tighter, and then the end. Another song I'd never heard before
in any form.
The eclecticism was such a turn-off that it was months
before I began to enjoy any of the other tracks. I just
skipped to the songs I liked. But the more I heard those
songs the more I thought about them. I began to listen for
the nub of folk melody in each one, buried among Telecaster
and the pattering drums. Better yet, none of my friends
liked the idea of me listening to a British folk rock band,
and few of them liked the music either. So I gradually
started listening to all of Holidays. The first song,
"Fotheringay," was so scratched that I could barely hear it.
Then one day, Sandy Denny's cold voice slid around the
room, carving a runnel through the twining acoustic guitars.
It all comes together in the harmonies in the middle,
and the mysterious lyric, "One day she'll be far away,
much farther than these islands and the lonely following
day." Her escape is so clearly doomed that the song creates
an air of futility. It has none of the satisfaction of the
futility of a rock'n'roll song, a blues, where the singer
at least gains some degree of release by letting his emotions
go. Here, all emotion is constrained, removed, stiff. Though
Denny wrote the lyrics even without knowing the historical
basis the listener can sense the effective airing of a
different philosophy^ the pre-1900 morality of noble calm,
of dignity.
Without a moment's pause the record proceeds rudely
into Ashley Hutchings's hard blues "Mr. Lacey," a. raw joke
completely at odds with the previous track. Also, for
some reason "Mr. Lacey" was mastered at twice the volume
of "Fotheringay," so once you've cranked the volume just
to hear the first song, the second one comes blasting through
the speakers. The band was deliberately trying to make
a record too jumpy, both in mood and style, to listen to
straight through a record difficult to classify.
The source of the unfamiliar melodies and self-possessed
emotion of the Denny and Thompson songs was English trad
itional music. Less brash and more strict than its Celtic
counterparts, the fatalism of English balladry was to
become Fairport's most;-important injection into songwriting;
their recognition of folk music's gravity blended straight
into their unembellished electric interpretations. But
this was later on. The traditional songs on Holidays don't
sound like the ban'd later resurrections; in fact, they don't
sound like much else. The dirge "Nottamun Town" seethes
for a while in a minor key, and then switches suddenly to
a sitar break. It's an experiment: effective, but clearly
a hybrid. In the bleak "She Moves Through The Fair,"
Sandy's voice is so strained it sounds like it's coming
from a thousand miles away. It's not comfortable or pleasant
to hear; the grating vocal and extended cymbals and
superfluous guitar flourishes and the words "Then she went
away from me and moved through the fair" create a faded,
tired sound. It's a poorly-remembered dream. This weariness
continues into Fairport's third album, Unhalfbricking.

36
 Unhalfbricking is only marginally more coherent than
Holidays^ m a inly because it contains eight tracks instead
of twelve^. Ian Matthews's departure after recording one
vocal also removed one voice from the babble. But mostly
the track-to-track eclecticism (despite Thompson's cajun
tune and three Dylan covers) has been mashed into long
single compositions.
The record opens with the deceptive slide guitar frills
of Thompson & Denny's "Genesis Hall." Sandy's voice is unu
sually buoyant and warm/ at variance with the grim lyric:
Thompson wrote the song when his policeman father evacuated
a South London squat. Next/ Fairport's spirited' but bizarre
French translation of Dylan's "If You Gotta Go, Go Now"
fills a space. It finishes abruptly, and the record swings
into the jazz beat of Denny's "Autopsy," her voice alternately
loud and inaudible. "You must philosophize, but why must
you bore me to tears?" Sandy wonders, sounding like she's
about to fall asleep. "You spend all your time crying,
crying the. hours into years." The vocal is insanely detached,
the high wail of "She Moves Through The Fair" turned
catatonic. The song slows down, shifts into a dreamy
improvisational middle section, the guitar meandering up
and down the neck for three minutes. The band's ready to fall
apart when it pulls itself together and repeats the listless
first verse. It's an autopsy of a failed relationship, but
the language is occasionally epic, the tone careless and
bored. Unlike "Fotheringay," the emotion is personal,
modern, but the passionless examination of an old love,
the autopsy, transcends time, draws from the alienation of
folk. This might have been Fairport's direction to come
had events not dictated otherwise.
People like Fairport's biographer Patrick Humphries
often claim that the following track was the first example
of the direction they did follow: the marriage of electric
instrumentation and traditional ballads. It doesn't sound
that way to me. "A Sailor's Life" does feature the first
appearance of Dave Swarbrick on fiddle, but it does not
resemble the determined revivalism of their fourth LP,
Liege & -Lief. If anything, this eleven-minute-long opus
carries the wispy dream images of "She Moves Through The
"Fotheringay" The Holidays band, plus friends: (left to right) Ian
Matthews, Martin Lamble (with broom), Sandy Denny
How often she has gazed from (with scarf), Simon Nicol, Richard Thompson; Ashley
castle Hutchings (seated).
And watched the daylight
passing from within her
captive walls
With no one to heed her call.
The evening hour is fading
within a dwindling sun
And within a lonely moment,
those embers will be gone
And the last of all the young
birds flew.
Her days of precious freedom,
forfeited lc ig before
To live such fruitless years
behind the guarded door
But those days will be no more.
Tomorrow, at this hour,
she will be far away
Much farther than these islands
Or the lonely following day.
(Sandy Denny)
Copyright c 1969
Betroe Music (BMI)
Fair" even further, stretching a white sheet over the world,
partly an application of the jazz structure of "Autopsy"
to folk song. It's the traditional ballad pulled and
warped, simultaneously the picture of a man putting to
sea five hundred years ago and a crowd of people getting
on a bus. Sandy moans, "The sailor's life, is a merry life.
He robs young girls, of their hearts' delights..." The
cymbals swirl, and the dry retelling of horrible events
does accurately point to traditional music. But the rumbling
sounds, the nightmarish quality, the sickening lack of
firm structure, does not. It's frightening- and strange,
an hallucination. But the mesh of the old and new is
awkward, the result of an imperfect understanding of the
compatible elements of folk and rock. It doesn't approach
the future triumph of Liege & Lief, as a genre piece at least
though it is a powerful vision.
Side two contains a Dylan track treated in the opp
osite way. "Percy's Song," the story of a drunk driver and his
friend who tries to confront the implacable American jus
tice system, is transformed into a traditional ballad.
Actually, the trad roots are there in the recurring chorus,
"Turn, turn, turn again," but Fairport draws them out and
wraps them around the entire song. It was their last shot
at anything that didn't come from their British heritage.
On May 12th, 1969, drummer Martin Lamble overturned
the band's van on the way back from a Birmingham gig.
He died in the hospital. Somehow in the midst of grief
the band managed to reach a whole new set of goals. Martin's
death perhaps coalesced a lot of the trends in the
band of the previous six months. In the weeks since Unhalf-
bricking had been recorded, Ashley Hutchings had been
spending his days at the Cecil Sharp House in London, a
repository for the old ballads and songs collected by
Sir Cecil Sharp from oral sources at the turn of the
century. Both he and Sandy were excited by the idea of
recording an entire album's worth of traditioral material.
They invited folk veteran Dave Swarbrick to join the band
as a permanent member. Thompson, whose girlfriend had died
in the accident, had overcompensated trying to correct the
wheel: he withdrew further into himself. A new gravity,
37
 jam sections. But they didnt attempt to modernize or
otherwise mess with the mood of the old songs. Fairport's
SoMEThiNq o f Fairport C onvention's literal translation of folk language into rock on the
painstaking Liege & Lief would mature into a fullblown
style by the time they got to 1970's Full House. But even
FREE FOR THE ASKING then they rock out in a natural way that parallels the
gut power of the originals. Folk began as popular music#
after all. It was the spontaneous music people played for
To spare you the constipatedly smug wit and patronizing hip jive you're accustomed
fun.
to finding in this space, we (of the A and the M) think Fairport Convention one breath Where unhaifbricking falters# then# Liege & Lief is
taking musical experience. Fairport Convention being, by way of introduction, assured and powerful# the work of a purposeful band. They
pinchable Alexandra E. MacLean Denny (known to her intimates as Sandy), whose no longer played around with different styles and
forte is the angelically beautiful vocal. RicharcWhompson, alternately a brilliant folk jumpy sequences? clearly, they'd decided to make a whole#
guitarist and a brilliant rock guitarist, not to mention a writer of exceptional songs in coherent album. In fact# several originals and a Byrds
either genre. Bassist Tyger Hutchings and guitarist Simon Niool, who seem always to cover recorded at the sessions were dropped for inclusion
know just the perfect things to play behind Richard, be he rocking with abandon or on the new album. The incomparable drumming of Dave Mattacks
quietly folking. Fiddler Dave Swarbrick, as enchanting am plified as he is folkily tradi in particular lent the songs an urgency and thrust lacking
tional. And drummer Dave Mattacks, who falters not at all when his fellows switch in Lamble's more tentative touch.
Liege & Lief begins with the Denny/Hutchings original
musical moods in a wink, so broad is his expertise. In June we released the first "Come All Ye." Thompson and Nicol's opening guitar#
American Fairport album, convinced that it would leave American audiences a-quiver abrasive chords over precise picked strings, crashes into
with pleasure. Not even considering the dreary possibility of everyone being too Mattacks's characteristic hard swing. It's an anthem an
a-goo-goo over the summer's rash of superdupergroups to so much as notice what nouncing the intent of the album; "Come all ye rolling
they were missing when it got lost under a truckload of albums whose highpoints are minstrels# and together we will try/To rouse the spirit
fifteen-minute drum solos. Not in all quarters, mind you, was the album ignored. of the earth and move the rolling sky." The words are
Fusion, for one, pronounced it rather smashing. And R o llin g Stone ventured: W ith its archaic# but the language is simple and the sentences
e x q u is ite v o ic in g s a n d w o n d e rfu l so n g s a n d som etim es g e n tle , som etim es rocking , natural. The band had immersed itself in traditional music:
a lw a ys im a g in a tiv e a n d e x c itin g in strum entation, FAIRPORT C O NVEN TIO N is an there was nothing fake about it. It's quite different
u n q u a lifie d treasure. Both publications were especially delighted by the Fairport
from the distracting patchwork of the previous two records:
it has the same celebration of the inevitable# but an
version of an unfam iliar Dylan tune called Keep ItIWith Mine," Stone droolling at exactness replaces the piecemeal flourishes. Not a note
length over Sandy's reading: ...S h e a c c o m p lis h e s one o f the m ost d iffic u lt tasks in sounds out of place? everything's planned# perfect.
m odern m u s ic p e rfo rm in g a D ylan s o n g w ith o u t im ita tin g D ylan, w h ile s till p re s e rv in g "Reynardine#" the first of many traditional songs
the im p a c t a n d the dram a o f the c o m p o s itio n its e lf. Perhaps sad to say, we're not Fairport turned around and rejuvenated# begins with
here to sell you that first album (although be assured we won't mind one iota if you sweeping minor-key twelve-string chords and echoing cymbals;
track yourself down a copy), but rather to entice you to p ick up on the Fairport's second, Sandy sounds like she's singing at the bottom' of a canyon.
which is called UNHALFBRICKING for reasons known only to the Fairport, and which, It's her finest vocal ever. She floats above the ground,
we propose, is every bit as unqualified a treasure as the first. Oh, and just for the record, singing in a dream. Each word stretches, trails#* her
UNHALFBRICKING contains incredible Fairport versions of yet two more helpings of voice plunges and rises# strivina to make the sound last
Dylan esoterica ( Percy's Song" and "Si Tu Dois Partir"), as well as Sandy's own as long as possible. It's "She Moves Through The Fair" again,
stripped of every messy encumbrance. The same nightmare quality
version of the song she wrote for THE SUBJECT WAS ROSES and Judy Collins, "Who plays over the plain melody and steady tide of cymbals.
Knows Where The Time Goes." So that you wont feel the least bit hesitant and "Matty Groves" is a set piece about love and murder#
because we sure do want (and expect) you to feel about the Fairport as we do, w e'll the story of a noblewoman who seduces a village lad and is
send free the first Fairport single ("I'll Keep It With Mine," as the stars would have it) slaughtered in bed with her lover. For the first four
in exchange for a filled-out version of the coupon below. We allow as how we stand minutes# it chugs along uncompromisingly with few conces-
to make a lot more money off this deal than we lose, Fairport Convention not being the
sort of group one could ever get enough of off a little single.

x \
A&M Records Advertisement for the Liege & Lief LP
S 1416 No. La Brea
Hollywood. Ca. 90028
Gentlemen:
Please send me a six-minute taste of the Fairport Convention.

Name_________

Advertisement for the Unhalfbricking LP

a sense of purpose# had fallen upon Fairport Convention

they were no longer the bunch of kids who earnestly sought
out obscure Joni Mitchell and Eric Andersen songs to cover.
A series of auditions located new drummer Dave Mattacks#
a professional dance band session man. Mattacks m e w nothing
of the music he was getting into# but his mechanical
timekeeping suited the traditional songs well. He adapted
Lamble's "hard time" in his own precise manner: no frills#
just a heavy clean style like a metronome.
The traditional music Fairport mined for their next
four albums was a rag-tag assortment of ballads# shanties
and reels from the previous five hundred years. They may
all sound similar to us because most of them were first
put down on paper in the year 1900 or so. We dont hear all
the varying sounds of the ages* we hear the stage they'd
developed to ninety years ago# when they froze. A certain
school of folk purists# including Swarbrick's old bandmate
Ian Campbell, held that meddling with those arrangements *Mflmnares
destroyed the original spirit of the songs# that electric U*iUr
folk bands by their nature would have to water down the M M
traditional music to appeal to a pop audience. WiseHOA
It was a specious argument. First# the music had been tala
changing slowly over the years anyway? Sharp's version of Bawsncnrsai^bn
"Tam Lin" would have been incomprehensible to a 14th-century
audience. Second# Fairport didn't change the basic struc
ture of the songs (as they had with "A Sailor's Life"); they
played them on rock instruments: electric guitar, bass,
and trap drums. The instrumentation by itself naturally led
to a change in sound: the guitar lines become more like
riffs# the choruses more like hooks# and the tempo a steady
beat. The songs were much louder# and the band attached

38
 Liege & Lief; Dave Mattacks, Richard Thompson/ Simon Nicol,
Dave Swarbrick, Ashley Hutchings, Sandy Denny.
sions to rock. The beat is hard and so steady that Mattacks
doesn't sound human. Sandy tells the story in its ancient
double couplets, unswervingly dry and detached, always "The Deserter"
relating, never judging. The lovers make their way into
the web of fate, the song jangling along, sedate even As I was a-walking
through the apocalyptic final verse: "'A grave, a grave,' Along Ratcliffe Highway
Lord Donald cried, 'to put these lovers in, but bury my A recruiting party
lady at the top, for she was of noble kin,'" and at last Came beating my way.
the musicians smash into a three-minute jam playing around
a snarling string/guitar riff, up, down, louder and louder They enlisted me and entreated me Court martial, court martial
until the final chord. All the restrained emotions let Till I did not know Then quickly was got
loose, the grim tale of class life unleashed with fury. And to the Queen's Barracks And the sentence passed upon me
No folk musicians would ever have let- the music express They forced me to go. That I was to be shot.
the lyrical content to such an extent.
Thompson's desolate original "Farewell Farewell" is When first I deserted, May the Lord have mercy on them
his most hopeless Fairport song, presaging the Sufi fatalism I thought myself free For their sad cruelty
of his solo career. Sandy Denny will never return to see Until my cruel comrade For now the Queen's duty
her bruised and beaten sons: "I would, I would, if welcome Informed against me. Lies heavy on me.
I were, for they loathe me, every one." Everything des
cends, she will never part the cloth or drink .the light I was quickly followed after Then approached Prince Albert
And brought back with speed In his carriage and six,
I was handcuffed and guarded, Saying "Where is that young man,
Heavy irons put on me. Whose coffin is fixed?

Court martial, court martial "Set him free from his irons
They held upon me And let him go free
And the sentence passed upon me For h e '11 make a good soldier
Three hundred and three. For his Queen and country."

May the Lord have mercy on them (Trad. arr. Fairport Convention)
For their sad cruelty
For now the Queen's duty
Lies heavy on me.

When next I deserted,

I thought myself free
Until my cruel sweetheart
Informed against me.

I was quickly followed after

And brought back with speed
1 was handcuffed and guarded
Heavy irons put on me.

39
 The great Irish ballad "Tam Lin" was perhaps too
ambitious for the band. Hutchings inserted a bassline so
complicated he had difficulty playing it/ and the band froze
the instrumental part into jazzy rhythmic blocks. The lonely
vocal remains perfectly faithful to the original/ and
instead of the organic growths of Unhalfbricking/ the result
is an uncomfortable mixture. It's not that they were
trying to fuse jazz or heavy rock guitar into a traditional
song/ it's just that the arrangement is strange and un
necessarily complex. The song is nevertheless too powerful
to keep down. A savage fairtale about breaking the rules
and paying, the jumpy rhythm suits the starts and climaxes
of the story, and the instrument^ meandering sections
fit neatly into the massive start-stop riff of the verse.
As the tale grows wilder, the band plays with growing
passion. The Fairy Queen captures the knight Tam Lin,
and she's no good witch: "At the end of seven years, she
pays a tithe to Hell; I, so fair and full of flesh, fear
it be myself" Tam Lin explains to his mortal lover Janet.
Though Saridy barely raises her voice even when the Fairy
Queen rages at the end of the song, the effect is chilling
enough: "'Had I known, Tam Lin,1 she said, 'what this
night I did see, I'd have taken out your two blue eyes
and hung them from a tree,'" and the guitars plunge away,
finally falling into the descending traditional line that
lets us know: all things come to pass like this, and a
briefly sustained chord sounds.
Liege & Lief was a landmark. It was clear* from the
fierce response that they'd achieved something no one else
had done before. In the year of the Black Panthers, "Inna
Gadda Da Vida" and Woodstock, Fairport's decision to
celebrate an ancient, dead music, the unhip response to
both the empty fantasies of fake musicianly blues bands
like Cream and the vacant drug posturings of the Velvet
Underground, seemed extraordinarily small-minded and
backwards-looking. It was. Fairport Convention had no
claims to doing anything worthwhile. They created music
of power and originality because they had good ideas and
they could play well, not because they set out to provoke
a musical revolution. They weren't going to make the charts;
the few people that did hear it either loved it or hated
it. (Fairport's albums sold about 20,000 copies each, or
fewer than Husker Du's last two LPs for SST.)
The folk purists wailed about people taking it
seriously; Robert Christgau complained that Fairport
was following Pentangle down the wooded grove of jigs
and ballads, and the songs were "momentary escapes,"
which is, of course, what they were always meant to be.
Christgau and the Rolling Stone critics had several prejudices
of philosophical and national origin, that blocked their
understanding the appeal of Liege & Lief. First off, they
treated it like a rock'n'roll record. It has few merits on
that basis. It's not popular, not (American) roots-based,
it doesn't let go often. The critics saw Fairport, like
the art-rock and prog bands of the time, as raising rock
to the status of an art-form or cultural item by undermining
the very things that made it "rock." However, unlike King
Crimson or Yes, Fairport never pretended that they were
fusing motifs from more academic genres (jazz, classical)
into a popular form; they were simply playing a much older
popular form (one that didn't owe anything to black music
or American culture) on rock instruments. Secondly,
Christgau's big stumbling block, as usual, was politics:
the working class battles the leaders to "something less
than a standoff" on Liege & Lief, so it's too fatalistic
to be rock. Possibly, that's a valid criticism if you think
genres are more important than songs. General political
assessments hold no water with me anyway, but if that's
what Christgau intended, maybe he'd better think a little
harder: Fairport was depicting life as it had been and
still was, while bands he praised like Sly or Big Brother,
brilliant musically though they may have been, were living
in a fantasy world of class revolution.
Liege & Lief was the opposite of popular music at the
time: gloomy, academic, precise. However, fueled by the
band|s low spirits after Martin Lamble's death, and their
own ideal of doing it right, they erred to far in that
direction. Down to the grimly informative sleeve ("Morris
dancing is one of the forms of Englishmen's ritual dance
and has been practiced since time immemorial"), and the
pictures of Sharp and Child, the record is didactic and
pushy. Thompson prefers Unhalfbricking, and it's easy to
see why. Liege is embarrassingly earnest, preoccupied;
it rams its point home and the music loses spontaneity
as a result.
These obvious faults led to a split in the band.
Ashley Hutchings wanted'to pursue the traditional path
more vigorously still; Sandy Denny wanted to return to
original songwriting and her Dylan covers. In the end
Denny left one week, to form her own band Fotheringay,
and Hutchings the next, to form Steeleye Span. At a blow
Fairport had lost both its spiritual leader, and its
singer & main identifying force. To many people, Fairport
Convention was Sandy Denny.
The remaining four (Thompson, Nicol, Mattacks and
Swarbrick) made the decision not to replace her the
task seemed hopeless. In a determining move Swarbrick
persuaded the rest of the band to hire his old folkie
mate Dave Pegg as the new bass player. Pegg turned out
40
to be an accomplished musician who could handle Hutchings's
difficult lines even better than the hirsute schoLar.
He meshed with Mattacks to form a fluid and powerful
rhythm section, the opposite of the situation on Holidays
and Unhalfbricking. The new five-piece, with only two
members left from Holidays, released two albums that are
unquestionably Fairport's best: Full House (studio) and
House Full (live), though theyre neither well-rounded, nor
indicative of the line-up at its absolute tops. The sound's
nowhere near as fierce or controlled as Liege & Lief; with
Denny gone, Thompson dominated. Wild resignation, doomed
partying, black humor. The new band played more fluidly than
any previous line-up, the obvious result of its comparatively
long term (a year and a half), constant practice from a
greater time spent touring (Sandy was afraid of flying), and
the conjunction of the new rhythm section with Thompson's
crushing guitar.
The big shift and this is what really lost people
were the vocals. As dry and eerie as Sandys voice could
alternately sound, she always had soul. Fairport resembled
a rock band in some sense as long as Sandy Denny wailed
over the top. Dave Swarbrick, fresh from endless tours of
acoustic folk pubs iii the Midlands, wouldn't have known
soul if he stepped in it. To make things worse, he had
an extremely English-sounding voice. No matter that his
public-school accent would have sounded completely out-of
place to the wandering musicians who wrote those songs, or
to the rural tenants who related them to Sir Cecil Sharp.
A certain kind of British voice sums up everything Americans
and many Britons find appallingly stuck-up about British
culture. Swarbrick's high tenor just makes him sound more
like John Cleese on Monty Python. Despite his excellent
sense of melody he can always hit new notes in the songs
to vary them in just the right way he warbles. So what.
People who concentrate just on vocals are missing out
on everything else. In addition, folk songs were meant to
be sung by anyone. They were not supposed to modulate with
emotion; the words of the story, not the sound of the voice,
conveyed the mood. The vocal served only as a musical
expression of the lyric. Sandy Denny's vocal, and later
Richard Thomp's, really altered the sense of the original
songs.
Full House and House Full resound with sweet melodies,
the finest in Fairport's career. "Banks Of The Sweet
Primroses" and the nineteenth-century fraud "Flowers Of
The Forest" are unbearably beautiful exercises in four-part
harmonies. This kind of soft modulation in minor keys doesn't
turn up in pop music. It rarely even occurs in Steeleye
Span. If you try to locate it in real folk music say,
Richard Dyer-Bennett it's never delivered with this
kind of strength and lushness. The dry puritanism of
most modern folk artists precludes an intense celebration
of melody. And when Swarbrick sings, "So I'll go down
to some lonesome valley/Where no man on earth will there
me find," sounding like the last person alive in some
eighteenth-century allegory, Thompson spins out a dizzying
tearful guitar line drawn from "And Your Bird Can Sing"
and the Hollies. It's fucking amazing.
In the shanty "Sir Patrick Spens" and the stomping
"Staines Morris," the band gets down to the rudiments:
Thompson and Swarbrick belt out, "Now to the maypole haste
away, for 'tis now our holiday," and the beat thumps along
morris-style, awkward, fit only for huge Englishmen barrelling
about with no grace and most likely in frilly costumes.
TOO EXCELLENT!! You should be able to get so much MORE
excited about this than a Chicago art student screaming
about child abuse.
The jigs and reels are frantically fast ("I'd rather
listen to Charlie Daniels," grumbled a stubbornly jingoistic
friend of mine): they possess the same staged charm as
square dances, perhaps a hint of frenzy in the live performances.
Mindless outpourings of energy, you could dance your heart
out to them and still wake up to the same tedium in the
morning. They represent the fun, but ultimately useless,
escape from the horror of the ballads.
The live remake of "Matty Groves" (with Thompson
singing), is harder, faster, more desperate. It's neither
as grave nor as fateful as the Liege version, but far
more effective. The music reflects the violent actions
of the song even more closely, stopping suddenly as Lord
Donald bursts into the room, and changing at the very
moment he orders the burial, guitars feeding back and
jumping into place like machines.
Thompson & Swarbrick's brief unlikely songwriting
partnership produced the stuff that keeps these two records
from traditional homogeneity. Their odd originals didn't
fit in quite right. "Walk Awhile" is a jaunty little rag,
a love song, though "undertakers bow their heads as you
go walking by." Like most Thompson songs it treats the
area around the subject. Love emerges in going for a walk
on a winter's day, noticing the details: finger in your
eye, Sunday, your mother. The happy fiddle drives jazz-
U Full House; (top)
Simon Nicol, Dave Pegg, Dave Swarbrick
m (bottom) Dave Mattacks, Richard Thompson
41
obsessed Americans up the wall. "Doctor Of Physick#" far
darker# creates a heavy puritan aura: "Take care daughter
dear; don't dream of many gallant men tonight" and "Oh#
father dear# I dreamed last night a man sat on my bed;
when I awoke I could not find my maidenhead" it's the
"Doctor#" of course. The cut has a much harder edge and#
aside from the violin and the slow tempo, a more rock
conception of song. It's easy to see how this mature
clean writing would lead to Thompson's Henry The Human
Fly & Bright Lights LPs, and also how he must have felt
eventually that Swarbrick's folk preoccupation would
hold back their songs as mere hybrids. Despite Swarbrick's
superb harmonies# the fiddler was tied like a rope to the
traditional stump. He couldn't make it grow# and this
blindness comes into full view on the Angel Delight LP#
after Thompson's departure.
Nevertheless# Liege & Lief*1s fragile "Crazy Han Michael"
was a measure, like the final Thompson Fairport single "Now
Be Thankful#" of just how delicate their collaborative
work could be. "You speak with an evil# you speak with a
hate; you speak for the devil that haunts me," and the
mournful fiddle line# and the chords ringing hollow in
the offbeats# wash in the grey# haunted world of the song.
The man wanders# no one cares for him or takes him seriously,
and it ends. No climax# no redemption.
The masterpiece on both Full House and House Full is
the nine-minute "Sloth#" a confused song of crisis and
change# and an innovative work without contemporary parallel.
Ostensibly about war# it moves gradually from a soft
vocal introduction# through mounting improvising guitar
pats# louder in fits and starts# till it roars through
a screaming bridge that presages Television by about seven
years# and slowly calms down to a short vocal verse again.
Thompson addresses the inverted values of war ("Now the
right thing's the wrong thing; no more excuses to come"),
and the erosion of personal loyalty ("Call to your colors#
friend: don't you call to me"); he picks a couple of
images ("She's run away# she's run away, and she ran so
bitterly")# always talking around the main subject# and
aside from these brief vignettes, he makes no comment on
war. Like the folk songs that Christgau couldn't accept#
"Sloth" makes no moral decisions. It depicts# through its
title, and the slouching# relentless rhythm# and the
deadpan couplets# the inevitability of war: just a roll on
the drum, just one step at a time. The rolling guitar
lines and the shrieking chords of the middle section
evoke the disjointedness and the exciting uncertainty
of combat. But the song is understated and distant;
afterward# you feel like a plane flew close by.
Like Tom Verlaine# Thompson's lead section in "Sloth"
owes nothing to a blues scale. It's as loud as Jimmy Page's
first excursions at the time: Led Zep joined Fairport
onstage for two hours at one of the same L.A. Troubadour
shows where House Full was taped. But i t s the diminished
folk chords from "Matty Groves" and "Tam Lin" that Thompson
runs through distortion and slides. With his usual sense
of restraint# he rarely tried this in the traditional songs
themselves# except maybe the live jam in "Matty Groves,"
but saved it for his own compositions. Of course# the
structure and texture of "Sloth#" apart from the actual
chords and the brief melody at the beginning and end#
owe little to folk anyway. The idea of improvising and
jamming# not to mention the anger that propels them, is
completely alien to folk# and "Sloth" is a rock song.
Thompson managed a much neater marriage of folk song
writing and rock guitar in a Full House outtake# "Poor Will
& The Jolly Hangman," which first showed up on disc 2 of that
American Thompson package, Live More Or Less (mostly less),
with Swarbrick's backing vocal removed and Linda's pasted
in. These days it can be found on Thompson's Guitar# Vocal
album.
"Poor Will" is a study in tension and release# and
sums up the best qualities of the 1970 Fairport Convention.
The dark melody, constructed around traditional English
cadences# flows easily around the controlled fury of the
instrumentation. Thompson's deep voice holds itself in check,
neither as brittle as Swarbrick or as ethereal as Sandy
Denny# but it exudes a resigned gloom. The song# while not
as brilliantly unconventional or universally-applicable
as "Sloth#" is a tighter explosion: after the second verse#,
the drums forcing through like doors slamming# the guitars
fly into a beautiful solo# a contained version of the jam
in "Sloth." Using the same folk chords to wincingly loud
effect# the musicians catapult over one another as they hit
the right chords at precisely the right moment. Dave Mattacks's
massive backbeat holds the band's drunken momentum together,
and at the end# when the outburst has died down into acceptance#
brings the song to a gentle close. The song is much more
of an exercise than "Sloth#" but the otherworldly tune and
the silvery guitar lead sustain it and give it power.
In contrast to Liege & Lief# these albums and especially
the live songs# swell with the emotion of release. The
difference is especially marked in the traditional ballads:
the joyous "Sir Patrick Spens" is a real slap in the face
of music scene hip then and now. The only possible reason
Fairport Convention could be slinging out ancient songs
was because they actually loved the music. The band thrills
to the performance; the instruments release it. You can't
fake that.
42
"Crazy Man Michael"
Within the fire, and not upon the sea
Crazy Man Michael was walking.
He met a raven with eyes black as coals#
And shortly they were a-talking.
"Your future# your future# I would tell to you,
Your future# you often ha/e asked me
Your true love will die by your own right hand
And Crazy Man Michael will curse at thee."
,Michael, he ranted# and Michael# he raved#
And beat at the four winds with his fists, oh.
He laughed# and he cried# he shouted and he swore#
For his mad mind had trapped him with a kiss# oh.
"You speak with an evil# you speak with a hate#
You speak for the devil that haunts me.
For is she not the fairest in all the broad land?
Your sorcerer's words are to taunt m e ."
He took out his dagger, of fire and of steel#
And struck down the raven through the heart# oh.
The bird fluttered long, and the sky it did spin#
And the cold earth did wonder, and start, oh.
"Oh where is the raven that I struck down there?
Thcfc here did lie on the ground, oh:
I see my true love with a wound so red *-
^Where her lover's heart# it did pound, oh.
Crazy Man Michael, he wanders and walks,
And talks to the night and the day, oh.
But his eyes, they are sane,.and his speech, it is plain#
And he longs to be far away, oh.
Michael, he whistles the simplest of tunes,
And asks of the four winds their pardon,
y For his true love has flown into every flower grown,
And he must be keeper of the garden.
(Richard Thompson & Dave Swarbrick)
. Copyright c UFO Music, Inc. () 1969
Richard Thompson left the band in the spring of 1971
after releasing one sublime single, "Now Be Thankful." A
| sweet Thompson/Swarbrick original# it dispensed with all
structural rock/folk innovation, leaving only the remarkable,
clean melody. Thus it's more Swarbrick than Thompson# but
(the guitarist's restraint marks it off clearly from Swarbrick
more maudlin subsequent efforts like "Rosie." It might
\ have pointed the way to a fruitful collaboration# but the
{unremarkable songs on the proceeding album don't make
ithat seem likely. They have none of the dry originality of
Henry The Human Fly. Thompson's first solo LP.
Fairport's 1971 album was Angel Delight, a rather grim
rexercise. The remaining four members# Simon Nicol the only
ione left from the Holidays period# plodded on to record a
[ sullen record# packed with traditional songs because all the
1 songwriters had left. It lacks both the gravity of Liege
I& Lief and the joy of Full House; gone also is Thompson's
innovative guitar, which had marked the band since their
^first English LP.
It contains some of my favorite Fairport songs anyway.
i The opener# "Lord Marlborough#" a stiff-necked retelling of
the 17th-century general's life, is filled with four-part
I minor-chord harmonies, dark and moving in themselves.
The performance# workmanlike, doesnt sully the ancient
song, and as swarbrick sings, "Now I on the bed of sickneLS
lie, I am resigned to die," the drums mount slowly in
1 Mattacks's characteristic double roll toward the end.
^That's it. No unnecessary outbursts. In "Sir William Gower,"
the unhappy knight, visited with his fate in his sleep,
calmly tells the crew that "I killed my wife and my children
three: Now I must face what must come for me," and instructs
| them to tie him to a log and throw him overboard. Which
they do, to the tune of a stylized autoharp riff. You have
to admire the uncomplaining fatalism of these characters#
and the spiritless performances and straight arrangements
actually do as much to convince as the extra parts the
^more inventive line-ups had attached to traditional ballads.
But great songs notwithstanding, Angel Delight lacks
power and breadth. It doesn*t leave you gasping like "Sloth"
or "The Deserter."
Fairport's career after 1971 is largely not worth
following; each of the next eleven albums contains a couple
okay songs, and Sandy Denny eventually rejoined for two
records just before her death in 1978# but the spirit wasn't
there. They'd become just a rock band, not a bunch of
crazy English kids playing Scots ballads at the Fillmore.
By 1976's travesty Gottle O'Geer, Fairport had turned
into a solo vehicle for Dave Swarbrick. Every original
member# and then even all the members from Angel Delight,
had departed: the name was just a hollow shell to fit around
the idea of a folk-rock band. The really great Fairport- traditional music than, say, to publish a magazine celebrating
related music of the '70s were its logical offshoots: child rape. Maybe that's briefly interesting. It'll date.
Richard & Linda Thompson/ Sandy Denny's solo work/ Steeleye Most Fairport songs are about destiny: hard work, low
Span/ and the Albion Band. wages, useless rebellion, death. Even the happiest songs
Fairport still had a couple good moments/ particularly aren't comforting? they're too distant for that. But
on 1977 and 1978's two UK-only albums for Vertigo. Tippler1s the band's seventeen albums offer a glimpse through time,
Tales contains a triumphant version of the seventeenth- a certain perspective of human nature: a detached voice
century English ballad "Reynard The Fox." The band is that records the ridiculous activities of people throughout
Swarbrick/Pegg/Nicol/ and though it lacks the propulsive the ages.
power of Mattackss drums and Thompson's guitar/ the
harmonies are the most perfect of any in Fairport's career.
Like the taste of mint in your teeth/ the casually beautiful
a capella harmonies and the dramatic fiddle riffing at
the end recreate both the shame of Reynard's ridiculous
end and the necessary decline and death of everything/
including Fairport Convention/ for this was to be their last
album.
It should have been. After an endless series of farewell
albums and reunion albums/ a version of the band led by
Simon Nicol, Dave Pegg and Dave Mattacks surfaced in 1985.
Augmented by Tangerine Dream-style synths and former jazz/
Soft Machine electric violinist (not fiddler) Ric Sanders/
they play a mixture of old songs/ Nicol originals/ and
traditional reels. It's not very good. The huge annual
reunion shows at Cropredy in England/ with Thompson
and even Swarbrick (who suffers from a hearing problem)/
are sentimental displays. The genius of this band lived
for its first five years.
A & M 's Fairport Chronicles double LP (1976)/ while hardly
an accurate overview of the band, does make me reconsider
my opinion of the Unhalfbricking Denny stuff. When not
sunk into the middle of side two of Unhalfbricking (a record
with four songs over five minutes), "Who Knows Where The
Time Goes," often hailed as Denny's masterpiece, is less
interminable than mesmerizing. Denny's voice rises instead
of pierces? a superior mastering job brings out all of those
strange little folky guitar lines Thompson and Hutchings
are slipping through the jazz beat? by the end you feel
like you've risen through a cloud to fresh air and the
abrupt segue into Full House1s "Walk Awhile" is astonishing:
can this be the same band? After "Who Knows," "Walk Awhile"
sounds totally hard rock; again the master has highlighted
the guitar to supreme effect. The juxtaposition points
out the innovative experimentation of the 1969 band against
the technical mastery of the 1970 band. The selection
and sequencing is excellent, and omits almost all of the
traditional pieces, which certainly highlights one
side of Fairport. Included, however, are certain other Albums
snippets of interest: Thompson, Denny, Mattacks and others
as "The Bunch" doing up Dion and Buddy Holly with surreal Fairport Convention (Polydor, UK, 1968? Cotillion, US, 1971)
and very pleasing results? Fotheringay doing Gordon Lightfoot, What We Did On Our Holidays (Island, UK, 1969; A&M, US, 1969,
most of the Dylan covers, plus the 1971 "Now Be Thankful" under the title Fairport Convention)
A-side, a virtual life necessity. Unhalfbricking (Island, UK, 1969? A&M, US, 1969)
Fairport's first album was 1968's Fairport Convention, Liege & Lief (Island, UK, 1969; A&M, US, 1969)
released over here on Cotillion in 1970 (this leads to Full House (Island, UK, 1970? A&M, US, 1970)
some confusion because A&M released Holidays, the second House Full (live) (Hannibal, UK & US, 1986? originally released
album, in America in 1969 under the title Fairport Convention) differently as Live At The LA Troubadour Help, UK, 1977)
It's pre-Sandy Denny, with the original line-up plus Judy Angel Delight (Island, UK, 1971; A&M, US, 1971)
Dyble (later of Giles, Giles & Fripp, and Trader Horne), Babbacombe Lee (Island, UK, 1971? A&M, US, 1971)
whose voice is too high and affectedly flower-child. The A History Of Fairport Convention (best of) (Island, UK, 1972)
record's got tasty moments anyway, particuarly a rousing Rosie (Island, UK, 1973? A&M, US, 1973)
version of Emitt Rhodes's "Time Will Show The Wiser." Nine (Island, UK, 1973? A&M, US, 1973)
More interesting, and far better, is Hannibal's Fairport Live Convention (live) (Island, UK, 1974; Island, US,
new unearthing of radio-program American covers, Heyday. 1974, under the title A Moveable Feast)
Producer Joe Boyd convinced the band to leave them off Rising For The Moon (Island, UK, 1975? Island, US, 1975)
the albums. Completely relaxed takes on Eric Andersen, Tour Sampler (compilation promo) (Island, UK, 1975)
Joni Mitchell, Johnny Cash, the Everly Brothers, Gottle O'Geer (Island, UK, 1976? Island, US, 1976)
Dylan, Leonard Cohen, and the Byrds, it shows the eclectic Fairport Chronicles (best of) (A&M, US, 1976)
Fairport at their best. It has all the sweetness and The Bonny Bunch Of Roses (Vertigo, UK, 1977)
strangeness of the Holidays songs, and displays Matthews's Tipplers Tales (Vertigo, UK, 1978)
pretty voice better than any of the first three albums. Farewell, Farewell (live) (Simons, UK, 1979)
Sandy sounds far more at ease (and more earthly) than Moat On The Ledge (live) (Woodworm, UK, 1982; Stony Plain,
when she shrilled traditional epics. The idea of an English CN, 1982)
folk band attempting this mostly American country-based Gladys1 Leap (Woodworm, UK, 1985? Varrick, US, 1985)
music is weird enough? it's weirder that it's really great. Expletive Delighted (Woodworm, UK, 1986? Varrick, US, 1986)
Fairport made the songs their own without losing any of Heyday (60's outtakes) (Hannibal, UK & US, 1987)
the spirit or the swing. In Real Time (live) (Island, UK & US, 1987)
It amazes me that people can dismiss a band because
of the kind of music that they play. You don't like a band's Singles
songs, fine. But to say, "I don't like folk?" "I don't like
jazz" is limiting yourself in a big way. For Fairport, folk "If I Had A Ribbon Bow"/"If (Stomp)" (Track, UK, 1967)
was just a tool they used, a frame for the ebullient songs. "If (Stomp"/"Chelsea Morning" (Polydor, UK, 1968)
Revivalism was, briefly, the point of the band, and it "Meet On The Ledge"/"Throwaway Street Puzzle" (Island, UK, 1968)
just showed that there was a huge vein of unmined musical "Si Tu Dois Partir"/"Genesis Hall" (Island, UK, 1969? A&M,
style that anyone could tap into. In a music history that US, 1969)
moves from the floating, drugged-out boozed-up don't give "Now Be Thankful"/"Sir B. Mackenzie's Daughter's Lament For
a shit "Autopsy" to the magnificent harmonies and stately The 77th Mounted Lancers' Retreat From The Straits Of
progressions of "Reynard The Fox," Fairport's songs mostly Loch Knombe On The Occasion Of Her Marriage To The Laird
carry homo their hard, unscholastic immediacy. No one's Of Kinleakie" (Island, UK, 1970)
ever gonna tell you to listen to Fairport like it's gonna "Journeyman's Grace"/*'The World Has Surely Lost Its Head"
save your adolescent dreams or provide some kind of vicarious (A&M, US, promo, 1971)
solace in love they're not Bob Dylan, or Dinosaur, or "John Lee"/"The Time Is Near" (Island, UK, 1971)
Robyn Hitchcock. Usually when Fairport sings about love, "Rosie"/"Knights Of The Road" (Island, UK, 1973)
it ends with someone getting killed. That's not to say "White Dress"/"Tears" (Island, UK, 1975)
anyone's gonna introduce you to the records as a route "White Dress"/"Fiddlesticks" (Island, Australia, 1975)
to grungy punk nihilism: there's none of the cool that "Rubber Band"/"Bonny Black Hare" (Simons, UK, 1979)
surrounds bands like-Big Black or the Velvet Underground. "Meet On The Ledge"/"Sigh Beg Sigh Mor" (Island, UK, 1987)
Fariport was and is completely UNCOOL. It's a hell of "Meet On The Ledge"/"Sigh Beg Sigh Mor"/"John Barleycorn Must
a lot harder just to do what you feel like playing English Dio" (Island, UK, twelve-inch, 1907)

43

A few words from and about the new
Fairport Convention album:
[ h is 76 y e a r old m other photograph ed a t th e ir c o tta g e a t A b b o tsk ersw ell the d a y afte r h r cam e hom e from P o rtla n d Prise
SOME LYRICS FROM BABBACOMBE L E E
J o h n Lee your headache's growing
The cold wind's blowing
But the seas without a ripple.
John Lee your foreheads damp
Vour muscle's cramped
The sea can't use a cripple.
CH O RU S:
John Lee you're turning around your fate ag;
Oh John Lee
John Lee's been made a freeman
His heart's a seaman
But his flesh wont m ake a sailor.
Working in a big hotel
Waiting for the bell
Thats ringing for his labour.
John Lee your chances are good
You'd better touch wood
We think things must get better.
John Lee you've a friend so true
She wants to help you
Miss Keyse has sent a letter.
D ear John come and work at the Glen
And send'someone to meet you.
John's gone to where he started from
H e's not worked long
Just beginning to belong.
It hasn't been a very good day
The missus wants to halve my pay
Close the door and douse the light
It's quiet at night when she's tucked in tight
Som etim es I feel when theyre all in bed
It's almost like the whole world's dead
And so 1 la y me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
"The world has surely lost its head
The news is full of crim es
There's robberies in the Telegraph and murders in
the Times.
And always m ore obituaries and ev en one of thes
Concerns the brutal murder of an old Miss Em m a
Keyse.
The police have got their man they re sure
He never left the scene:
Indeed he raised the hue and cry a most unusual
thing.
An arsonist, a m urderer, his soul will soon be fry ir
He's young, but old enough to kill and not too youn
ehim
Now it seems the populac
To hear him speak his wicked lies while sm iling at hi
thoughts
This arrogant young ruflian is obviously guilty
Though nowhere does it say exactly how and why he
killed her.
f orget it dear, its not the first, and theres bound to
your mother
lull have us thinking shes
This man called Lee as had his day ant1 - oon he'll be
forgotten.
So put that paper d< vn before yourbreakfast goes
J o h n Raliliacomlx Loo was taken to the
gallows three times and three times survived
the attempts to hang him.
I he story that surrounds this (act was
written as an autobiography m Lloyds
Weekly News. IX)7
Dave Swarhnek found a curled, yellowing
bundle ot these papers buried in a Ware
antique shop; they were bound and signed by
John Lee himsell.
Now the story of T h e Man They Could
Not Hang has been brought to Ide again by
K U R D >R 1 C< )NVI . |( )N on the.r new
album Hahbacombe Lee. photograph of
John Lee and his mother has been used for
the front cover.
Songs on Side I cover Johns reflections
boyhood ; Ills introduction to Miss
o il Ills
Keyse and I he (d e n ; Ins life in the Navy, by
t.u lus happiest period; ami his illness, which
tmalb i suited in his return to the service of -
Miss Keyse. I Ills side ends with the
beginning <*f tragedy: the brutal senselessness
ol the apparent criminal who slays his kind
old mistress.
Side 2 continues the tragedy. John was
baldly more than a bewildered observer at his
,m n trial. He waits three sad weeks in the
condemned cell for ltis last night on earth.
W lien it arrives, a strange, prophetic dream
comes to him. helping him to hear the strain
of tin- next day s ordeal, as scaffold and its
<rew try m vain three times to take his life.
T h e r e a y little window and the s\
through
Dancing with the dust that' in m y cell
There* a sparrow sitting on the sill and he stays for a
But he's frightened by the ringing o f the bell
Theres a bed that I must lie on when at night I take
m y rest
And a chair thats fo r me to sit on through the day
The men who wait beside me always know what's best
For a man who doesnt have too much 10 say F A IR P O R T C O N V E N T IO N
Throw a laugh into the corner blow a tear against the BABBACO M BE LE E
wall
Learn a gam e to play im prove the mind
Confess your sins you sinner and think how the
seconds fall
Leave all earthly cares and woes behind
SP-4333
And when m y short affair with life is ended and Im
PKODUCKD BY JOHN WOOD AND
Will you tell the story of John Lee SIM ON N ICO L
And a ll you see is nothing and yet everything lives on
I was born to pay the hangman's fee.
W k e up John it's time to go
Com e along John, Dont be slow
A priest joins the procession just to help me kneel
With a warder at m y elbow and another at my heel
M arching in the morning down a path I've lately seen
1 was sleeping with this garden am I still within m y dream?
The echo of my heartbeat is the beating of a drum
And all the earth is singing with lifes sweet hum
We filed in solemn silence, shuffled through a door
The place where life is taken fo r the letter of the law
Shake the holy water, summ on up the guard.
Dying's very easy, waiting's very hard
A rope is hanging from the roof, a sight which puzzles me
I thought a gibbet and a cart would make the gallows tree
But now all is revealed Stand th ere" is the command.
M y feet are on the trapdoor with a rope around m y hands
And now the executioner is shaking hands with me
"M y duty I must carry out, you poor fellow, says he
A strap is tied around my feet and a bag upon m y head
And then the noose that separates the living from the dead
B erry whispers to me have you anything to say
My mouth is dry. my throat is tight, 1 answer Drop aw ay"
Silence now surrounds me my heart is beating on
The trapdoor hardly moved at all m y life is still my own
They stand me in a corner with my hands and feet still bound
While the carpenter is called for and an explanation found
"T h e rain has warped the tim b ers" I hear the hangman say
Its funny but it worked well. 1 tried it yesterday"
All is mended now they say your ordeal's nearly over
Your life's as good as ended but I hear their voices quaver
Once m ore the bolt is shaken and again I hang in limbo
"Babbaconifoe"
W'bile the guards jum p on the trapdoor and my body stands 01
They stand me in a corner with m y hands and feet still tied
A warder holds on to the noose, the trapdoor opens wide
Lee lives.
Is it m agic or coincidence that keeps me on the brink?
It seems to work without me, will it kill me now I think
Please I'm tired of living and I really want to die
1 was taken to the scaffold and 1 heard the hangman cry
On A&M Records.
Lee I'm truly so rry, forgive these hands of mine
He drew the bolt and 1 felt the jolt the third and final time
My life was spared that morning for it wasn't theirs to take
Three's the m ost the law requires a man to feel the stake.
18 REGI STER A
 FAIRPORT CONVENTION FAMILY TREE

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One of A&M's lavish ads for Fairport's ill-fated seventh

album, Babbacombe Lee. The 1971 concept album (about a
sailor framed for murder in 1907) followed up the Angel
Delight record, and was the last consecutive LP made
with a member of the original line-up (Simon Nicol).
P.A.
45
Advertisement for
Fairport's eighth
album, Rosie.
FAIRPORT CONVENTION
Though the 1973
band no longer
CANNOT LIVE BY
included any of
the original mem
WORD-OF-MOUTH ALONE.
bers, former Fair-
For some remarkably un
ports Sandy Denny
known reason, some of the
& Richard Thompson
best things that life has to
contributed to offer are discovered through
some of the tracks.
perhaps the fastest channel
of communication-word-of-
ALL ARTWORK COURTESY mouth. But only by a
A&M RECORDS. ALL chosen few.
RIGHTS RESERVED.
Since 1969,Fairport
Convention has fallen prey to
this baffling social phenome
non. All the while creating
a bevy of English folk and roll
COSLOY ON musical feasts to delight the
WRESTLING ears of those who had some
cont'd from page 35 how received the word. And
reconciled shortly after that). A brief stint for Verne
Gagne's Minneapolis-based AWA brought some much-needed
credibility/ but the Warriors were bored as champs
of a nothing-federation. Their return to the NWA in
1985 was predictable/ but no one would've guessed that
Crockett would try and put the Warriors over as babyfaces
without altering their in-ring style (incredibly violent)
or out-of-the~ring rap (arrogant/ graphic and loud).
Alliances with dogshit fan-favorites (Dusty, Rock'n'Roll
Express, Ron Garvin) have weakened their hardass stance
slightly, but the Road Warriors are still -the most awesome
spectacle in the sport. Crockett has not made them NWA
champs and it's doubtful that he'll ever do so after all,
if anyone ever beat them in a "fair match," who would
ever believe it? Easily the most imitated tag-team in the
sport, currently being cloned by The Powers Of Pain (NWA
clowns managed by onetime genius Paul Jones, feuding with
the Warriors themselves, which seems futile) and Demolition
(horrible Kiss-like team now ruling the WWF hard workers
Crusher Darsow/Kruschev and the Masked Superstar are now
donning the kabuki makeup in this cheap Warriors cop that's
fooled no one). McMahon tried to get the Warriors to
jump ship several times, and having failed, he's invented
his own. Why Animal, Hawk and Paul resisted the lure of the
WWF's $$$$ is anyone's guess. 2nd fave motto: "We snack
on danger and we dine on death.")
Magnum T.A./Nikita Koloff (the greatest scam in history, and
the story still isn't over. Magnum T.A. is hunky, motor
cycle-riding Terry Allen, tagged by Crockett for his supposedly
close resemblance to Tom Selleck or Greg Norton, I can't
remember which. Magnum was a Springsteen-esque working man
character who fought hard and eventually won the US belt.
He was soon challenged by young Nikita Koloff (aka "The
Russian Road Warrior"), baldheaded subhuman nephew of former
WWF champ Ivan Koloff. Spouting vicious anti-american
rhetoric in guttural broken english, Nikita vowed to
destroy Magnum T.A. in their 1985 best-of-seven series.
And he did (with the help of Uncle Ivan's chain, natch).
Upon losing the US belt to (gasp) a Russian, Magnum T.A.
went into a deep funk, wondering how he could ever face
the fans again. Weeks later, Magnum was nearly killed in a
horrible car wreck (incredible news file photos of a
car wrapped around a tree were sent to the major wrestling
periodicals), and Magnum was said to be fighting for his
life (amazing news file photos of hospital waiting rooms were
sent to the major wrestling periodicals). Tearful fans
sent flowers and get-well cards by the thousands to some
anonymous hospital in North Carolina. What a shock it was,
when the evil Nikita Koloff himself visited Magnum in the
hospital and prayed for his recovery. Nikita said Magnum's
accident and subsequent miraculous recovery inspired him to
renounce his communist leanings and he soon embraced the
American way. His broken english became less guttural, and
photos of Nikita at American orphanages and cub scout
meetings soon became a common sight at the major wrestling
periodicals. As of this writing. Magnum is trying to
make a minor comeback, even tho' he can only move one
arm and he seems unable to take off his leather jacket. I
have no idea what will happen next)
The Mu1keys (albino scrub tag team that were so severely
all the while receiving the Rosie, the latest musical
highest praise from both masterpiece from Fairport
critics and audiences alike. Convention. Pass it on.
Now, Rosie unleashes a Rosie!
new, diverse kind of intensity New Fairport Convention.
from his band borne of mid On A&M Records
sixties eclecticism, psyche
delia and folk-rock.
With guest appearances by
Sandy Denny on vocals and
Richard Thompson on guitar
(both ex-Fairporters), Daves
Swarbrick, Pegg, and
Mattacks, Jerry Donahue and
Produced by Treyor Lucas
Trevor Lucas bring you Licensed by Island Records, Ltd.
beaten week after week after week, that they somehow
became folk heros to a peculiar breed of trailer park scum
perhaps albinos.w h o 'd been severely beaten most of their
lives. They've since disappeared from the TV, and it's
rumored that their demands for a $3 raise per match might
have had something to do with their dismissal)
Rocky King (young negro scrub who suffers horrific beatings
at the hands of babyfaces and heels alike, week after week
on WTBS. Rocky is approx. 5 feet tall, weighs around 90
opunds and doesn't look a day older than 13. I know this
sounds pretty sick, but in a rare cooperative move ,
between WTBS/CNN kingpin Ted Turner and Jimmy Crockett,
Rocky King has also been doing double duty, making
appearances as Atlanta Braves outfielder "Gerald Perry."
A disgruntled Turner continues Lo try and get Chuck Tanner
in the ring with The Barbarian, but Crockett won't allow it.
3) AWA
Babyfaces: Greg Gagne, Verne Gagne, Abraham Lincoln, George
Washington, Jesus Christ
Heels: Curt Hennig, Soldat Ustinov, Adrian^Ponis, Adolf
Hitler, Ray Stevens
Current Champ: who fucking knows or cares
Going, going, gone. Verne's really intothis youth movement
...that's why the star of the promotion is his 42 year old son.
Their idea of snagging a major star is getting lardass
crossdresser Adrian Adonis, easily the most tasteless
character on television, wrestling or not. ESPN contract
should run out any dav now, I hope.
4) World Class
Babyfaces: Kerry Von Erich, Kevin Von Erich, Petula Von Erich,
the Von Erich family dog
Heels: Iceman Parsons, Terry Gordy, Simon Legree
Papa Fritz Von Erich was riding high a few years ago when
eldest son Kerry defeated Ric Flair in front of 40,000+
at Teaxas Stadium. Then Fritz made the mistake of seceding
from the NWA, kidding himself that he had the federation's
biggest stars (his sons). One drug 0D later (li'l bro' Mike,
found dead in the park, embarrassed that the previous after
noon's drunk driving conviction would shame him in front
of the family), and Fritz's "empire" is in shambles.
Kerry, recalling the heart attack of older brother David
(master of the clawhold, found dead in a Japanese hotel
room) and Mike's recent "tragedy," tries to draw parallels
between the Von Erichs and the Kennedy family. No one's
listening Kerry, and you suck anyway. What really killed
Fritz is that all those 13 year old girls who were going
to Texas Stadium ended up turning 14 and 15, at which point
they probably decided that David Coverdale and Jon Bon Jovi
were cuter than cro-magnon Kerry.
5) CWA, Stampede, Continental, Puerto Rico, NWF
I don't follow these promotions and I don't know anyone
who does. Maybe when they get their shit together and
get on ESPN or FNN or something. I'll pay attention, but
for now I'd prefer to ignore this backwoods garbage.
what goes on
^RECORDS
Box 169 151 First Avenue New York, NY 10003
(212) 529-1606 Telex 4932034 WGO Ul
s c m \L
After Scrawl's show opening for Bleached Black and the
Blackjacks at the Rat New Year's Day 1988, we interviewed
them at Pizza Pad.
Scrawl put out 500 copies of their record Plus, Also,
Too last summer, and have since repressed another 500.
Their debut LP is a soft bombshell, filled with homemade
garage music, words, and cover art that wavers, hesitates
and convinces with a rare lack of self-consciousness. Non-
Stop Banter recently called them the "X-Ray Spex of the 80's,"
a pronouncement they would probably laugh at. Harci Mays
seemed to have just recently gotten over her surprise
that anyone would want to interview her; I hope the kind
of spotlight attention Scrawl is beginning to attract
doesn't screw up the gears of her creative process.
TFTH; Ivan Kreilkamp, Conrad Capistran, David Greene
MARCI MAYSVocals. guitar
CAROLINE O'LEARY-drums
SUE HARSHE-bass. vocals
TFTH: Did you all meet in Columbus?
MARCI: Sue and Caroline live in Columbus. I went to school
nearby and moved there about three years ago. We've been
playing for about two years.
CONRAD: What was the initial impetus this sounds real dry_
but was the intial impetus for you deciding to play?
Had you been playing all along?
MARCI: Caroline was in a band, and Sue was ina hardcore
band, and I had been in bands in Athens Ohio a real small
48
town. I had been in a hardcore band a whatever band. Then
we got real rowdy once in Athens and me and two drunken
friends decided that we would gig and be called Skull...
TFTH: Skull?
MARCI: ...as a joke to open up for somebody. And then when
I moved up there it was not too long after that. My friends
moved away so I said, "Well I might as well move too." So
I moved to Columbus. And I knew Sue, 'cause we had been
writing back and forth to each other. And then we were like,
let's do something.
TFTH: You were writing back and forth?
MARCI: Yeah. Columbus and the school I went to are real
close. The school I went to Ohio University is really
small. I would always come up to Columbus to see shows,
'cause there was nothing going on in Athens.
TFTH: So Athens isn't like Athens Georgia. They're not going
to make a movie of it.
MARCI: Everyone wished it would have been. Definitely not.
It's sort of hippyish, out in the middle of nowhere.
TFTH: So were you real upset about Karl Bruce getting fired?
[What the fuck? PA]
MARCI: I don't really care...it's scarlet-and-grey land where
we're from. Go Bucks. It's huge. I don't know if you guys
know what it's like...that is Columbus Ohio.
CAROLINE: The Buckeyes.
MARCI: The Bucks. That's i t . A hundred thousand screaming
students in scarlet and grey, they dress like that. It's
very very conservative. Real sports-oriented college, or
industry, or whatever it is.
TFTH: Do a lot of people come to see you there? Do you have
a big local following?
MARCI: There are some good bands there, and it's a real
small scene but the people who go see bands see everybody.
TFTH: They're really committed.
MARCI: Yeah, and really supportive. I mean, we could have
never made a record. We had people say, "We'll give you
money if you maKe a record."
TFTH: Yeah, I was wondering; what is No Other Records?
MARCI: No Other's basically just a big record store. School-
kid's, and the gy has a lot of connections and he helps
out on distribution and stuff. The first RC Mob EP was on
No Other. It's just something to help out because there's
nothing arond there, there isn't really anybody down there
who would start a label.
TFTH: Is there a radio station?
MARCI: College radio? Yeah, it's about fifty watts, dorms
only, and they won't let it get any bigger. No college
radio. It's just too conservative. They will never ever
let it expand.
TFTH: Do any of the Cleveland stations make it?
MARCI: No, it won't got that far. So you have to buy records
if you want to hear something. I have a couple friends who
buy everything and anything...
TFTH: ...read fanzines religiously...
MARCI: I used to. I get too overwhelmed.
TFTH: What's this guy TKA like, the guy who does the
Offense Newsletter? Does he like you guys?
MARCI: I don't know.
TFTH-: He seems to like mostly English stuff, that's my
impression.
MARCI: They had the Offense readers poll, and we did real
well in that, all thirty people who wrote in.
TFTH: So why don't you get out of Columbus?
MARCI: I t s home. I mean, you know, why? I came from a really
really small town, so it's huge to me still; I've only lived
there three years. I just have never thought about moving
just to be in a band.
TFTH: it depends also if you want to consider this you main
occupation, or it it's just an outlet.
MARCIt It's gotten a lot scarier from when it first
started. When we put the record out, we were like, no one
wanted to wrap the fuckin' things to send it out. Who
wants to do that? We just wanted to practice twice a
week and drink a beer here and there. And then I got real
lost in it there for a while: "Oh my God, somebody wrote
us a letter, we have to send them a record today." I'd
be really paranoid all the time. It's kind of weird.
TFTH: Do you feel kina of dazed now? Because you're getting
a lot of really great press and stuff all of a sudden...
like did you see in Forced Exposure...?
MARCI: Yeah.
TFTH: They said your record is one of the best of the year.
It must be kind of weird.
MARCI: Yeah! It's really hard, and I've been having big
problems, I'm like afraid to write new songs.
TFTH: You must feel like everyone's watching you now.
MARCI: Oh yeah, you know, "Slut," somebody said the song
"Slut" was good we don't have a song that good on the new
record, we don't have any new songs that are that good...
It's really scary, I think. But then again at the same time
you just blow it all off. I mean, it'll never be like,
"Damn, we're a band,-we gotta act like one."
TFTH: Are you working on another album now?
MARCI: Well, kind of. We write a lot of songs but we never
.finish them.
CAROLINE: Most of them need lyrics.
MARCI: I've had a real rough lyric block lately. But I'm
coming out of it.
TFTH: Well the initial reason you started playing was for
music, not the words.
MARCI: It's just gotten a lot different. Playing outside
Columbus helps a lot, because it gets to the point where
the same people come and see you all the time, and they
feel like they owe it to us to come and see us...and I
mean, we haven't written a hundred new songs ih the past
two years. They've been hearing the same twenty over and
over.
TFTH: Are you tired of them yet?
MARCI: We don't play that much. It goes in spurts; sometimes
we don't play for a month and a half, two months. If you
watched closely tonight, some of the songs we haven't
practiced for like a month and a half. We don't work
them into the ground in practice at all. We've never practiced
old stuff. We practice stuff we write, but we don't ever
try to write. We just...
TFTH: One of the things I like a lot about the album is it
has a real sort of off-the-cuff quality...it doesn't sound
as if you...
MARCI: Worked at it real hard?
TFTH: Well, the lyrics especially don't sound forced, as if
you tried to write them.
MARCI: That's what's been hard lately, is that I keep thinking,
"I have to write lyrics for this song," whereas before
we'd just be jammin' and I'd start screaming whatever
was in my brain at the time...and think about it later.
Now that's something that...now it's like, "OK, w e ve
got a record out, we've got to start writing songs,"
whereas wo never tried to before...it was like, what two
chords do you have...I haven't even been playing guitar
for very long.
TFTH: What kind of guitar do you play?
MARCI: It's a Hamer like Rick Nielsen plays, Cheap Trick.
TFTH: So it was specially made for you.
MARCI: I just bought it off a friend who was desperate..i t 's
a great guitar.
TFTH: It was interesting watching you try to get the string
through the back of it. Is that a special feature?
MARCI: Oh, that sucks, they break right down there. We were
playing at CBGB and we had thirty minutes and I broke
three strings.
TFTH: It seemed almost as if you had it written in the set
list.
MARCI: That's why. we have that one song, "Loser," with just
bass and drums, because we needed something.
CAROLINE: And then Sue started doin' "Now I Want To Be Your
Dog" one day.
MARCI: We were desperate, just standing there.
TFTH: What about being in an all-woman band...
MARCI: That's something we do not like to talk about. Because
people focus on it, and it's really a bummer. We had
an interview once that said, "Even though they're women,
they can still play their instruments."
TFTH: But it seems that being a woman, you might look
for role models in different people.
MARCI: I don't know.
TFTH: Or just listen to music.
MARCI: I don't listen to music very much. I listen to NPR
all the time.
TFTH: Yeah, I hear a lot of "All Things Considered" in
your songs.
MARCI: (singing the "All Things Considered" tHeme song) Yeah,
I want to be on that show someday.
TFTH: So do you write all the songs together?
MARCI: We just kind of mess around. Occasionally Sue or
I will come in with something that we've written at home,
but usually we just do it in practice. Just screw around.
As far as being all women, it's nothing we did to like
be in an all-woman band...
TFTH: I work at a radio station with a lot of women, and
it seems that a lot of the bands they hold most dear
to their hearts are women bands, like Salem 66...it's not
like they're prejudiced, but...they just identify or something.
MARCI: couple songs that we do, a lot of guys are like,
"That's a fuckin' sappy song," and a lot of women are like,
"That song kicks my butt." You know, like, "That song really
means a lot to me," so that might have something to do
with it.
TFTH: You're saying basically that you don't outline every
thing you do before you do it.
MARCI: Yeah..
TFTH: Do you listen to any music at all?
MARCI: I like a lot of stuff. I don't know what I listen to.
Whatever. I listen to Cheap Trick one day, and Patsy Cline
the next. I like a lot of country singers. I like Hasil
Adkins and stuff like that, really hardcore country music.
I like Dinosaur. I listen to that a lot, the first
album...we've been compared to the Volcano Suns, but I
don't know why.
TFTH: I don't understand that at all.
MARCI: I've had a million people come up to me and say, "You
sound just like Grace Slick."
TFTH: I d o n t understand that either.
MARCI: One thing that does make me kind of mad is a lot
of people come up to us and say stuff like, "You must listen
to a lot of Slits," or "You must listen to a lot of
Raincoats." Not m a d , but just, I hate pigeonholing. I have
heard them, yeah, and I do like their music, but I listen
to the Rolling Stones as much as I listen to the Slits.
Don't worry about what I listen to, I guess. I guess you
are influenced a lot by what you listen to, but I'm more
just the kind of person that just plays wha't in my head.
I feel kind of like everyone should write songs and say
they're theirs. You can play 'em for yourself at home.
TFTH: Do the songs start out with you sitting at home with
an ccoustic guitar?
MARCI: It's harder to do that. When you're sitting with your
acoustic guitar, you can get really scary with yourself,
start getting real heavy. Like, God, I can't play that
in front of a crowd, I'll start crying or something.
TFTH: Like in a sensitive-folkie kind of way.
MARCI: Oh yeah. Sometimes that becomes too much. I go see
live bands all the time. I don't listen to records very
often, but I go see almost every band that rolls into town.
I love to listen to live music. I think thats just totally
different.
TFTH: So do you have any messages to support home taping on
the back of the record?
MARCI; We did most of that in a friend's basement. He has
an eight-track. I really liked the way it sounds, until, this
is hysterical, the local rock station one of the Q stations
played our song. They play one "Local Lick" a week
CAROLINE: There's three: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
MARCI: They play one song. You send them your tape. And
they played our song after "Life Is Just A Fantasy" by
Aldo Nova, so you hear this like twenty-thousand track
recording, and then our song comes on, and "chrtrrttsss"
[imitating sound of static]. It was "Gutterball." This
woman, she was like, "All-female on Local Licks!" After
49
Records That We Sell:
26. DAG NASTY W ig O u ta tD e n k o 's 't
23. BEEFEATER ' House Burning D ow n'
22. RITES OF SPRING 4-song 7
21. GRAY MATTER Take It Back EP
20. EGG HUNT 2-song 7 "
19. DAG NASTY C a n lS a y 'IO -s o n g L P t
18. THE SNAKES 14-songLP
17. BEEFEATER Plays For Lovers' LP
16. RITES OF SPRING 12-songLP
I5i SCREAM This Side Up' LP
15. MINOR THREAT Salad Days 7*
14. 4 OLD 7 S (Teen Idtes/SQA/G.LVYouth Brigade)
13. MARGINAL MAN id e n tity e p
12. INOR THREAT First 2 r*
II. FAITH Subject to Change'EP
10. MINOR-THREAT Out O f Step'ep?
9. SCREAM 'Still Screaming' LP
* 3.50 in the U.SA, elsewhere, t Also available as cassette.

Price Guide, including postage, in U.S. $:

U .S A Canada O verSea O v e rA ir
5.00 6.00 6.00 10.00
4.00 5.00 5.00 9.00
2.50 3.00 3.00 5.00

3819 BEECHER ST N W , W A S H ., D.C. 20007

 SCRAWL cont'd from two pages back
it was over, she said, "Look for this band, and take
off like a rocket!" It was really cool.
TFTH: Do they have people call in and vote on it?
MARCI: No, they sponsor another thing based on that, though
called "Rock Wars." We entered it.
CAROLINE; It's like months long.
MARCI: Yeah, it lasts a whole year. You bring all your friends
in. This one band rented a bus. There's absolutely no
talent involved.
TFTH: Is there an applause-o-meter or something?
MARCI: Yeah, basically. You vote.
CAROLINE: You pay your money and you get a ballot.
MARCI: I t s just whoever has thfe' most friends.
TFTH: I t s just like Fenway Park. I was always upset about
the all-star game ballot stuffing.
MARCI: But you win a lot of money.
CAROLINE: Like twenty-five thousand dollars.
MARCI: We thought, God, I could buy a new guitar with that.
CAROLINE: You also get a year's worth of free subs at Subway,
a certain number of hours of recording time, free maga
zines. ..
MARCI: This is my big secret I tried to call Rick Nielsen.
I wanted him to produce our record. I called, and of
course they weren't going to let me talk to him. And
Ron House from Great Plains goes, "Marci, he's not going
to produce your record, he's a big star!" I said, "Come
on, he needs a pet project."
T F T H : They haven't done anything for a long time. They
haven't had an album for like five years. [This is a lie. Ed.]
MARCI: We saw them at the Popcorn Festiv&l.
TFTH: How was Bun E. Carlos? Was he looking sharp?
MARCI: They were all looking really good. Their new bass
player though, I don't anything about him.
TFTH: This is like the sixth bass player since Tom Peterson.
[This is a lie. Ed.] It's like they go looking for
dark-haired guys.
MARCI: They all look like Tom Peterson. They were great.
Their new songs sounded good. Every time I talk about
Cheap Trick, this thing I read about them goes through
my brain. This guy said, "They're nothing but a Beatles
rip-off band." I get really sad when I think about that.
I don't know the first thing about the Beatles. I'm a
Beatles idiot.
TFTH: You're not up on your Fab Four trivia.
MARCI: Just let me love Cheap Trick, please, let me love
Cheap Trick. Well, I don't like 'em that much.
TFTH: It seems like they're a pretty major influence.
MARCI: Maybe they are. I don't know. They're great...
they were like the first band that was really weird
looking, weren't they? Robin Zander was the first rock
star I ever shook hands with. I was about seventeen. I
went backstage and shook his hand. I was too scared to
say anything. He was really short, that's all I remember.
TFTH: Was he nice?
MARCI: Yeah, he was shy. It was stupid.
TFTH: So you were a groupie.
MARCI: Oh, I was. For that moment anyway.
TFTH: I saw this thing on MTV about groupies. It was sick.
MARCI: I don't like that term at all.
TFTH: It was weird; they had all these women who called
themselves professional groupies. When a band came into
town they'd service them. For some reason they had David
Cassidy talking on the show like he was important.
MARCI: No way.
TFTH: I don't understand; what has he done for fifteen years?
And there was a section talking about the groupies of female
bands.
MARCI: We have a really funny tape. We were taping a live
show, and these guys were standing beside the tape recorder,
and they didn't know they were being recorded. This one
guy was going, "Bull dykes...they need to wear some make-up,
and they need more hairspray." The other guy's going, "No
way, man, theyre cool, you're full of shit." You can hear
them taling for about twenty minutes about whether or not
we should wear high heels and make-up, it's great.
TFTH: Do you have any famous people as fans, or patrons?
MARCI: No, just our friend the computer expert. She's our
patron.
TFTH: Does she do programs for you to help plan your tour?
MARCI: No, she's just the one who said, "You guys should
do a record," and gave us the money to do it. We didn't
know how to do it. What were you saying about Lita Ford?
TFTH: I wasn't. She was on that grupie show. She was
talking about male grupies.
MARCI: Did she have 'em?
TFTH: I'm sure the Runaways had their share.
MARCI: The Runaways, they were crazy, we were talking about
them last night. Weren't they like sixteen?
TFTH: Well there's this guy Kim Fowley who was involved
with that. He's a real scumbag. He basically looks for
a trend and then hoists himself onto it so he can make
himself look better without really caring about the
people. He's sort of like in that movie Star 80, you know,
the character of her husband?
DAVID GREENE: Now, Conrad, wait a minute here...
T F T H : Well he didn't kill anyone, h e s more of a fast talker.
You know Christgau, the Voice reviewer, in that book of
his, the only E- record is by Kim Fowley.
MARCI: I don't know what I think of that guy. He gave us
52
a B+.
TFTH: He said, "She can break your heart with her brains."
MARCI: Yeah, and he didn't even give me credit, he gave
Sue credit. It took me a while to figure out what he was
trying to say.
TFTH: It's as much about him as about the record.
MARCI: You're at their mercy. They can pick out the four
worst quotes and put them in line and you're an asshole.
TFTH: Do you get real upset about that?
MARCI: Nah.
TFTH: Good. It doesn't seem like you started out trying to
impress those guys.
MARCI: People go, "Oh, did you see your review in so-and-so..."
TFTH: It's like gossip, almost.
MARCI: It is. I left the Butthole Surfers show, and this guy
wrote in the Columbus Dispatch, "I left the show. And I
wasn't the only one: Marci Mays, the lead singer for Scrawl,
left the show and she's no Debbie Boone." It was great.
TFTH: What about those hardcore bands you were in?
MARCI: They weren't hardcore hardcore. They were never like
evil hardcore.
TFTH: What's evil hardcore?
MARCI: Sue was in a band called No America. They were hardcore
all the way. We were more just like thrashy, I guess, more
like the Angry Samoans. We had forty-second songs. This was
like in '82. We never put out any records or anything.
I played the bass then, 'cause my dad bought me one. A
big, giant hollow-bodied thing.
TFTH: What do your parents think of your music?
MARCI: My dad always wanted to be in a band. He's like, "I
don't give a shit about your work career. I want you to
focus on that music now. " My parents have never seen
us though. Caroline's dad comes all the time. My mom's
always like, I want you guys to come down, I got you gig!
My hometown is about four thousand people. I'm from West
Virginia. There's two bars in the town, the one where the
old men go and shoot pool, and the other one. She wanted
us to play the other one. It's the kind of bar where they
want you to play, you know, "Cocaine," every set.
TFTH: Do you read a lot?
MARCI: Yeah, I guess I do. Kingsley Amis, I like him a lot.
Lucky J i m .
TFTH: Have you read anything by his son, Martin Amis?
MARCI: No, but I read an interview with him, and he kind
of panned his dad. Someone gave me a couple of Margaret
Atwood books to read. I guess I read a lot, but I don't
know what...maybe I don't read a lot.
TFTH: Mow'd you decide on the name?
MARCI: Well, I was in that band called Skull, but. all these
heavy metal people would show up.
CAROLINE: Skull evolved into Scrawl.
TFTH: Does someone actually have a scrawl?
MARCI: I write different every sentence. I can start off
really neat, and then soon you can't even read it.
TFTH: You drew the cover: do y o u draw a lot?
MARCI: Yeah, I paint. Scribble around. I'll do stuff like
paint my lampshade for an evening. I painted this lamp for
like nine hours and then spray-painted it black. Fuckin'
ugliest thing I'd ever seen. I had this big concept, i
thought I'd paint the history of the world or something.
I paint, but I never try to get shows or anything. I hung
my stuff at the record store.
MARCI: Yeah, but I was never real hardcore about it. I'll
do stuff like paint my shoes. My paintings look a lot like
that [a figure on her boot].
T F T H : Kind of an alienated-looking figure.
MARCI: Yeah, but he's happy too. See there's a slight
turning-up of the tooth right there. I have stuff, boxes
I ve painted, stuck on the wall, and a couple paintings.
Once I came home in a kind of scary, jumpy mood, and I
freaked out. I turned all my paintings oer, took the lamp
shade off. I thought all these eyes were staring at me.
TFTH: Today you started that slow song and then stopped. Do
you do that a lot?
MARCI: Every now and then. Today what I kept doing was,
I was hitting my volume knob with my hand, and I couldn't
figure out why my guitar was getting quieter and quieter.
I think I'm going to take all the knobs off.
TFTH: Do you do any covers besides "Now I Wanna Be Your Dog?"
MARCI: We used to do "Voices Caryy." We worked on the
Cheap Trick song, "Down."
CAROLINE: But Marci didnt have any delay pedals.
TFTH: What'd you think about Chain Link Fence? The guys
who were on before you?
MARCI: [whistles]
TFTH: The lead singer of that group calls himself the white
Marvin Gaye.
MARCI: He was, uh, warmin' u p , he was spreading his legs
out and stretchin'. He came backstage before and said,
"Excuse me, I gotta put on my dress shirt." That about
summed it up.
TFTH: Do you have any uniforms?
MARCI: We wore big heads once. For a Halloween gig. They
were scary. Every once in a while I'll wear a big chiffon
dress with a veil on it. Every now and then we'll do
a big concept show. We used to be a lot more conceptual.
CAROLINE: We did green food. Little cups of pudding, jello
in a lobster mold.
MARCI: See, I love mint green. That was the color.
 into the jungle and captured dangerous and bizarre animals

T im
which, in the middle of the boat trip back to America,
somehow escaped out of their cages. Most of the big
animals wejs captured right away, but this "spitting
cobra" was .loose and it was really scary. This animal 's
special gimmick is that it can fire poisonous spit into
your eyes from a distance of 20 yards or something. Before

FASHION
with Ivan Kreilkamp
I went to a discount warehouse to buy some new sneakers.
They only had about five different kinds. I considered
some leather basketball sneakers with weird plastic ankle
supports, but I eventually settled on a pair of INDOOR
SOCCER SNEAKERS in bright fluorescent orange. I've never
heard of indoor soccer, and I don't intend to take it up,
but these shoes seem to transcend their intended purpose.
They impart a bouncing lilt to my step; their garish color
gives me a feeling of invincible safety when I walk or
bicycle in the dark. Even the laces the laces have a radiant,
sparkling appearance. Always remember: shoes are not just
a necessity, but an essential component of any stylish
thinking person's wardrobe. They should be selected with
the same eye for detail as when you buy a leather jacket
or a wig. An ill-considered pair of white Converse hi-tops
announces to the world, "Im sloppy, careless, and I don't
care if you know-it." Your feet should convey a fashion
message that you choose, not one that chooses you.
This holiday season, my most cherished gift is
HAPPY PIGGY. It came in a cardboard container that says
on the side, "walking forward, and retracing steps to grunt."
Piggy is covered by fuzzy pink synthetic fur. Its tail and
snout are white. When you turn it on, it waddles forward
a few steps, tilting' to the right, then stops and vibrates
its snout. The resulting clicking noise is an unconvincing
simulation of a p i g s grunt. When I first tried it out,
my cat leapt up and ran to the other side of the room.
It soon returned, attracted by curiosity. AfteY about five
minutes of careful observation, the cat approached Piggy
from the rear. It stuck out one paw, hesitated, then
touched the grunting pig. Since that one touch, the cat
has ignored Piggy.
you even knew what hit you, you're writhing on the ground,
tearing out your eyeballs from the pain. I was worried
about this, until a wise adult noted that, with my
new glasses, I would be immune from the cobra's attack.
3 . ) Convey an impression of wisdom and intelligence
to others. I know a guy w h o 1s convinced that were it
not for the wise air his glasses give him, he would
be constantly stopped and interrogated by the police.
I suspect that I also may have evaded arrest more than
once with the help of my trusty lenses.
4 . ) Give you something to do with your hands. Much
better than a watch for this purpose. You can clean
your glasses as often as once every twenty minutes.
Also possible is pushing them up your nose thoughtfully.
(SEE 3.)
5 . ) Allow someone, before kissing you, to remove them
dramatically and throw them aside. Except the problem
with this is that they might get lost or even broken
in which case you're really screwed, this won't be
very romantic. You'll be crawling around, groping for
shards of glass while your former accomplice in love
looks on with disgruntlement and a mounting sense
of disgust. So proceed with caution.
CON: 1.) Look stupid; 2.) Sit on your nose annoyingly;
3.) Fall off and break, leaving you helpless as a tied
lobster; 4.) Circumscribe your field of vision with a
frame, fostering the belief that all you see is an art
ificial construct rather than real life; 5.) Among
adolescents, accumulate a wretched green facial scum
in the little crevices of the frame.
There are many more cons, of course, but for my own
dignity I'm leaving the two lists tied.

OCULAR LIFE by Ivan Kreilkamp

I was wondering the other day about what pain would be

like if you always had it. A baby is born, let's say,
and it hurts. It cries a lot, naturally, but after a while
it realizes that it doesn't get it anywhere. So maybe
it begins to assume that its pain although he doesn't
know it's anything unusual is just the way life is. In
this case, however, would it still be feeling pain, or
would it fade into the background and effectively no
longer exist as a sensation? I suspect that actually it
would just whine a lot its whole life. It'd form the Smiths
or something, turn its liability into a financial or
sexual asset. These considerations also apply to the important
matter of vision.
I remember the day when I was eight years old and
paying my first visit to the eye-doctor he had slipped
the correct lenses into the big contraption suspended on my
nose, and I looked out the window down at the street and
saw a lady in a blue dress I could see her, I could
really see her edges and features and stuff. I suddenly
understood that there was a whole new way of seeing, I had
foolishly trotted along through life believing that I was
looking at the same world as everyone else, while what
I really saw was a faint impression of reality, like a
fuzzy xerox of a painting. It's like when after years of
listening to records on a shitty kids' stereo, you finally
spring for a real one and the music is brand rfew, twenty
times bigger and richer than what you had previously known.
So anyway, getting glasses was cool, I could even see
the blackboard and stuff in class. My first pair was a
sharp tortoiseshell model. They gave me a sort of owlish
look. I've gone through a couple changes since then, but
by and large I've adhered to a metal aviator style. I
feel they impart solid comfort and dignity while still
conveying fashion know-how. I've prepared a list here of some
of the pros and cons of glasses:

PRO* 1.) Allow you to see. The importance of this cannot be

overemphasized SEE PARAGRAPH ONE.
2.) Can deflect venom of the deadly "spitting cobra."
As a young child I read a book in which these guys went

53
LEM O N H EAD S
OtEAtOR
TFTH
RECORDS
We wrote these reviews over the course of the past year,
so that we cover a broad swathe of all the new records issued
since TFTH! #1. We feel little compulsion to review only
new releases, however. If George and I were to actually put
out a third issue of TFTH!, we'd review very few new records.
Scattered among the reviews is a representative sampling of
the old records that I (but not George) have been listening
to for the last eight months or so. Since this is the music
I spend time thinking about, I have a lot more to say on
the subject. Readers who desire a rundown on new releases
are referred to fine publications like the Pope and Buttrag.
We don't have time.

* P.A.

56
ALBION BAND Rise Up Like The Sun LP (Carthage) '88

?he surging folk brilliance generally associated with Ashley

Hutchings: huge orchestrated choruses and unabashed sentimental
backward-looking songs with more assurance than the early
Fairport or Steeleye albums too. It's also far more complacent/
but that shouldn't stop anyone from wallowing in John Tams's
resonant baritone. It's also far less innovative/ except in
bad ways: I wonder whether they thought they were moving with
the times by layering synth over two songs on this 1978 LP.
It's too conscious an experiment/ middle-aged folkies dabbling
in new sounds (what were they listening to? Tangerine Dream?
Heavy Horses Tull?) as opposed to the 6 0 's phenomenon of
strange* English kids playing trad songs on their rock
instruments. The rest of the record is wonderful in any case
--and utterly impossible to find/ like the other ten Albion
Band records/ until Carthage reissued it. (Patrick) T5
U

ANTHRAX "I Am The Law" 12" EP (Island/ UK) '87
CL
MUSCLE! I LIKE this. Mmm, crunchy massive riffs and relentless
drums. Makes you wanna fucking destroy the furniture/ just
tear apart those nails and slats of wood and jump up and CO
down. Fat guitars and totally uncompromising vocals,
and it's about Judge Dredd! He rules! Lyrics: "Respect X
the Badge. He earned it with his blood. Fear the Gun. G
Your sentence may be death because: I Am The Law, You fC
won't fuck around no more." So cool...wish we had some u
of them around New York these days to clean up the U-1
goddamn streets. Name any punk rock this uncompromising
in the last three years and I'll show you Negative Approach
or fucking SSD. YOU WISH!! (Patrick) 0
P
ANTHRAX 1 1m The Man 12" EP (Megaforce/lsland) '87
o
rG
CL
Boring as shit. ".I Am The Law" (studio!) is still a crunchin'
metal masterpiece, as is Among The Living, but the height
of this goofy follow-up EP is a cover of "Sabbath Bloody
Sabbath" that only demonstrates the power of the original.
"I'm The Man/" the Beasties parody, wears thin as soon
as the needle hits the wax. (George)
AXEMEN Three Virgins double LP (Flying Nun, NZ) '87

Gerard recommended this to me as "a cooler Smashchords,"

which didn't exactly get my blood flowing, but hey, Geoff
Weiss likes the Smashchords. A stunning array of colors
on this double-album package actually elevates it to
"aesthetic object." status I've said enough on this subject,
if you see it and don't want it, well, clearly you have
a problem I don't. Inside provides a lot of the sort of CO
the SC's twangy midrange guitar but really that's a pathetic
reference point. The Swell Maps, down to the graphics and
the type on the back cover, the grunts and barking-and the CQ
almost-together-but-not-actuallyat-all quality, the
short songs, the long songs, etc, seem to me to be A MUCH pt)
MORE VALUABLE REFERENCE POINT!!! But here's why "reference JU
points" suck: you could be a big Swell Maps fan & hate fH
the Axemen. Some songs begin with scratchy guitar and
plunge joltingly into shouted chants and near-melodies.
Others sort of sit down and play for a while in one corner
of the room. The record's hardly ingratiating; it has a
major "take it or leave it" attitude that leaves certain
fanzine writers cold if they ever buy the record, which BATS Made Up In Blue (Flying Nun, New Zealand) '87
they won't. I hate Jet La g . I, on the other hand, will
go out on a limb for a record if I happen to be in an OK The UK & NZ releases have different covers, but of course
mood, and I just made it into side 4, track 3, which I think the NZ is far more beautiful and generally cheaper so
is "The Yeasty Mayor" ("WHY YOU MAKING SO MUCH YEAST?"), a hunt it down. "Made Up" takes the jaunty, sloppy and
hefty barrage of guitar & fuzz bass making a racket while inescapable naivete of quintessential NZ pop into a more
some pissed-off guy ("Unknown?" "S. McCabe?") yells over pricey studio, but the results are well worthwhile. Captures
the top, a saxophone squeals, it's lovely. And if you don't the excellent sensation of lazing around home with nowhere
buy this record when you're lucky enough to run across it, to go on a weekend. It begins to rain and you sip some tea...
you must be some boring person. (Patrick) (George)
BEAT HAPPENING Beat Happening LP (K) '86 BATS Daddy1s Highway LP (Flying Nun, NZ) *88

Simple fresh guitar strumming, "open up your eyes and speak
your mind," Calvin, Heather and Bret don't have day jobs,
draw silly pictures and put out a series of cassettes with
handstamped inserts. They probably eat whatever they
feel like too, unlike some we know. No fudgey 'richness
here, just an openhearted view that might make you feel
a little less weary. (Patrick)
BEAT HAPPENING Jamboree LP (Rough Trade) '88
I was lying on my bed, reading Anthony PowelJ., when I was
seized by a physical desire to listen to the Albion Band
album. This was disturbing, because I'd listened to it
four times already that evening. I got up and put on
Jamboree instead. It's not a record I listen to often.
In a way, it's kind of disappointing. On the poorly-
recorded debut, the bizarre immediacy of Beat Happening's
live show was sort of caught. Here it's a bunch of
wonderful songs performed with some degree of premeditation.
I really like it, but I never feel a physical desire to
listen to it. That's only unusual, because live, I felt
that kind of bodily desire. Do you see what I mean?
(Patrick)
I love this record. As I've sunk deeper into the depressing
morass of the single,nine-to-five lifestyle, only two or
three things nudge my head to the side, off the track. Home
at seven, read magazine for an hour, out for four steamed
pork buns ($1.80), back in for typing, several hours of
reading, sleep by midnight or one. Even if this only applies
every other day, it's standard enough to mechanize my
routine fully. It becomes that much more difficult to
throw on something other than the sixth Fairport album every
time I come home. Unless I'g^ drunk or it's the weekend,
the last thing I want to hear is music that reminds me
of business work, my urban surroundings, my disgusting
American culture. If it was gonna go on much longer, I'd
probably turn to Schoenberg like George. Or Debussy. For
tunately the Bats record came out. A whining, whispering
sliver of a thing, each spring-like melody jacks me up
further from the world. The twining violins on side two.
The painfully solid connection of the vocal line and
the guitar chord in "Mid City Team." I could almost forget
that I'm in New York City and that I have to go to work
at 8:30 tomorrow. Shortly, however, it will come out on
Texas Hotel, so I suggest you refrain from buying it.
Search out the import or tape it. (Patrick)

57
SYD BARRETT Solo/With Pink Floyd LP (Era) '86
Side one contains a bunch of demos theoretically recorded
for the unreleased third album. The songs, monotone wails,
confim the putative '74 date, but they're underneath a
cloud of hiss. Also, three of the four were on that pink
seven-inch boot from last year, or the "Greek" seven-inch
box, if you got that one. Side two does contain a "Vegetable
Man," not the great version, and a couple other tracks
from post-Barrett. Floyd. The Barett boots to get remain
Tatood, and, according to Scott Curran, the British version
of Forgotten Hero. (Patrick)
BIG BLACK (Sound Of Impact) LP (Blast First, UK) '87
Big Black's sound is difficult to capture on live recordings
the deep bass of Roland & Riley, and the razor edge of
Albina's guitar always predominate. This official boot
largely conquers the problem: a thick midrange channel
runs through every song. It's still more of a headache-
inducer than an ass-shock. Selection of songs is cool,
tracks from Bulldozer, Atomizer and, surprise, their masterpiece,
"Crack Up," performances far superior than most of 1987's
Big Black shows: more driving, less controlled, each song
on the-verge of falling apart. (Patrick)
BIG BLACK "He's A Whore" 45 (Touch & Go) '87
Regardless of the disastrous plummet in quality of Big
Black's final live shows, I always feel a surge of pride
when I see the scarlet sleeve sticking out of my
collection. "Das Model" (I have the German version)
has always been one of my top K-werk picks, next to
"Trans-Europe Express" and the incomparable "Autobahn."
There's nothing better than hearing your favorite wimpy tunes
picked out on a distorted guitar, even if the guitarist
means it humorously. (It's funny how the British music
weeklies couldn't figure the choice of cover they
thought it had to be some kind of misfired joke. And
back in *79 they were taking Kraftwerk & Gary Numan
completely seriously.) Cheap Trick ah, Cheap Trick. In
a way this single would have been ideal pairing Cheap
Trick and Fairport covers, but such was not to*be. Geo.
maintains that.the Big Black version loses the "awesome
melodies" of Tricks "He's A Whore," but thats inevitable.
Argument that Fairport is actually Kraftwerk (note the
similarity of the names and remember that Steeleye Span
cashed in on the New Wave via the Pork Dukes): the guitar
riff in "Doctor Of Physick" and "Tour De France" is blatantly
the same; Roger Hill, Fairport guitarist from March till
June of 1972, has the same initials as Kraftwerk vocalist
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58
Ralf Hutter; Kraftwerk has beards on the back cover of
Autobahn, and someone in Fairport had a beard. (Patrick)
BIG BLACK Songs About Fucking LP (Touch & Go) '87
More consistent than Atomizer, with fewer occasional streaks
of genius. Conceptually an easy record: sex, violence, drug,
black humor. "Power Of Independent Trucking" is nonetheless
their most effective fast song, a machine-gun set to music.
But a trebly mix & preponderance of' quick tempos lessens
the impact considerably...the pseudo^Pettibon cover is
the worst one yet. (Patrick)
BIG BOYS Retrospect LP (No Auditions) *88
The Big Boys were one of the most unselfconsciously GREAT
ensembles of the '80's, and their albums offer endless
pleasure. Lullabies Help The Brain Grow was certainly a high
point in a year that included Minor Threat, the Minutemen,
and Husker Du in their glory. This retro on the dreaded
Spot's label contains two horn-section blasts off their
super-rare debut single, plus scads of unreleased material
from across their career. Several of their acerbic one-word
scratchy-guitar bursts, the grooving "Shut Up" plus a wonderful
studio "Authority," a beautiful "Sound On Sound"-type anthem
called "Influence," uncontrived funk that flies all over the
place and ends way before you do, grinding melody that turns
brain-cogs you forgot about. I don't know, maybe some of this
comes from the near-mythical Kitchen Tapes cassette, but it
does put forth some pretty good reasons to continue living.
(Patrick)
BIG DIPPER Heavens LP (Homestead) '87
Strangely off-putting at first, this album is like a great
group of friends that slowly coalesces into the best
summer of your life without seeming like the most unreasonably
tense bunch ever to hang out. Or; a fine state of drunken
ness attained after hours of gently nursing medium price
beer. It took me a few months to get over the hefty drum
punch & stop wishing for "Faith Healer"'s immediate power;
now this record seems so archetypal while occupying the
most obscure corner of my musical history. Every song is an
intense emotion, an aesthetic and perfect shade of child
hood memory. Beyond all others, the force of "When Men
Were Trains" brings back the fact of your debt to your
own pre-existence. (George)
BILDERINE Split Seconds LP (South Indies, New Zealand)
A comp of "various Builders grouped together under the
unregistered trademark Bilderine." Much more pleasing
than that later Builders stuff, Bill Direen's voice gruff
and impassive most of the time, heavy rising organ
stamping the first track, "Baby Come Back," an ominous
song with proportions greater than its actual size. Kind
of like a never-heard Dylan song from the Highway 61
period (if he took barbiturates). Impassioned, murky
and inarticulate, the kind of record you might listen to
late at night while it's getting wetter and wetter out.
Actually, I never listen to it, but that doesn't mean
it i snt good. It's a good idea to own a lot of records
you never listen to so you have something to fall back
on when you tire of the ones you do listen to. (Patrick)
BIRDCRASH comp cassette (K) '88
Real awkward, cool stuff like most of the K tapes. You
start with the box, which is white and more solid than
many of the vaunted clear cases, and the picture of the
refrigerator on the insert. I like refrigerators! The
actual cassette, a see-through jobbie with a hand-stamped
label, is smooth and slightly reflective. Inside, a bunch
of cools like Beat Hap-offshoots Go Team and less comfortable
smash'n'crash like the one-man Spook & The Zombies spread
home truths like "Girlfriends Don't Keep." They don't sound
at all happy about it either. So take that you insufferably
cheerful stay-at-homes! (Patrick)
BIRD NEST ROYS Bird Nest Roys LP (Flying Nun, NZ) '87
"Jaffa Boy," one of the loveliest singles of last year,
also contains the most mysterious lyric: a "jaffa boy"
rings bells in mosques, I think, or maybe it's just a
boy from Jaffa... It plunges face first into celebratory
guitar waterfall and the narrator meets him tourist-style;
by the second verse, however, the two seem to be in some
kind of relationship: "One of these days, I heard him say,
I'll have all the time/To give to you, to give to you,
the love I left behind;" it moves on through lush twelve
string verses to "So slowly we go into misconception/
Promises he has neglected. The picture on the back of
the single shows a fat three-year-old. Obviously a lot more
iscping on than we know about, and the entire'album is
like that. Rich harmonies and layers of guitars and
vocals create a mysterious rush of sound that brings to
mind the Byrds, Cat Sevens, Sonic Youth, and a lot"of
other stuff. No other track is as wcrld-altering as "Jaffa
Boy," but then those songs only come once a century or
so. (Patrick)
BLISSED OUT FATALISTS Blissed Out Fatalists LP (Motiv) '88
Hideous name, but Motiv always intrigues a bit. Surprise
"Can You Feel It" is a pretty huge Urinals-style riff with
these unusual guitar lines. The sloppy songs constantly verge
on lumbering, but don't, quite. A lot like the Twinkeyz,
actually. (Patrick)
BLOSSOM TOES We Are Ever So Clean LP (Polydor, Germany)
"We are ever so clean cleaner than the top of a washing
machine!/What on earth was that all about? Granny takes the
kids on an out, ting." Geoff recommends this late-60's
Brit-folk-psych re-ish wholeheartedly to everyone. It's
full of impossibly cute, mannered songs with no songwriting
kind of if a bunch of rich English kids did some acid and
pretended they were early Pink Floyd or UK Kaleidoscope.
It's difficult to hear this without retching particularly
the off-key horn and string arrangements. Imagine a butt
chockful of sand. Yaw. (Patrick)
BLUE HIPPOS Forty Forty LP (Twin/Tone) '88
This band proposes to take the sweat and power of R&B and
make it slick. But all you get is a loud & silky parody
of a "groove." It's the same as reading an overly "hip"
Voice writer talk about the power of black music. On the
other hand, the "bad and silly" aspect manages to recall BOC's
"Red And The Black" often, and the pop song, "We're Found,"
would be brilliant and beautiful if it were less clever
and more grungy. (George)
BOILED IN LEAD Hotheads LP (Twin/Tone/Atomic Theory)
Early-middle Fairport comes to mind (Liege & Lief/Full
House) minus all the baroque & lush accoutrements (nothing
resembles "Sir Patrick Spens"). Reliance on fun reels
and jigs, some Irish, and tunes with a heavy peasant
grunt. (You knows "I married a woman who treats me like
dung.") More here than that: punk-electric guitar cuts
through the folk varnish; Jane Dauphin's vocals are
eerily beautiful and far less traditional than any kind
of Denny/Thompson thing; the whole record has a satisfying
edge of melancholy that dissipates the fatalistic aura
that any trad-folk record has to have. 'Cause I hear
Chills, Pastels# Great Unwashed, Verlaines, Ed Kuepper,
Nick Drake and Pauline Murray going on here, and if
youre going to let the staged and detached mannerisms
of English folk turn you off Boiled In Lead, you're even
dumber than I think you are. (Patrick)
GEORGE BOULUKOS Hey You Fuck My Greek Ass LP (no label)
A chunk of molten sex rock that will make the faint-hearted
fall over in shock. Personally, I think it's the best
"shock rock" record of the year. Stereophonic farts from
all around resound & let you know this guy is serious!
Buy! Buy! Buy! (Jonathan Marx)
BOYS FROM NOWHERE '\Gone Too Far" 45 (Young Lion) '88
Columbus must have pollen in the air or something. There's
no question Craig Marks prefers Craig "Coon"'s writing
to mine because they share the same first name, but there's
no denying a heavy sexual frisson runs through all the
cultural product the Ohio cap's been producing recently!
You say: Boys From Nowhere, Scrawl, Great Plains, Dark
Arts, American Music Club, the Offense, and Yet Another,
and I say, you've just named the best bands and the best
fanzines in America right now. It's sort of revolting.
(Patrick)
BREAKING CIRCUS The Ice Machine LP (Homestead) '87
Breaking Circus strips their guitar crack so far down it's
a piece of rubber stretched transparent. "Song Of The
South's" agonizingly taut chant "IN HIGH COTTON!" is
totally incomprehensible and completely satisfying in
some intestinal way. The record swings through odd
images, "hotel ashtray files" and the like clanging
guitar duets and piano noise alternating with piercing
steel vision. (Patrick)
BROKEN JUG William LP (Glitterhouse, Germany) '86
I remember liking the beautifully-packaged singles, and this
sounded fine to me first time through, but now it hits like
a bowl of old broccoli. Retread. They hit hard and play
those old riffs with gusto, but no amount of frenzy or
emotion can make up for total lack of songwriting. I
don't ever want to hear a Stooges cover again. I'd be
perfectly happy never hearing a Stooges song again for the
rest of my life. .(Patrick)
BROKEN JUG Squeeze Rodeo Live 7" EP (GlitterhoUse, Germany)
"Sally" is this band's best moment by far; the recording
here emphasizes the drums and vocals over the other
instruments; you can feel the spirit and you wish you
were at the show, but no way is it the same...numbered
edition and a pretty sleeve, though. (Patrick)
BROKEN JUG "Promised Land" 45 (Glitterhouse, Germany) '87
Yeah, I gave these guys a bum rap on their LP, just
sometimes I get fed up with obvious covers and retro sound.
They're actually one of the finest bands in that spent
*69 genre, and occasionally, as on the A-side of this pretty
white-vinyl single, they break out of it completely.
It's maybe a little to easy to imagine Rory at Semaphore
rocking to it in his office armchair in Holland, but I
always give a band with that guitar sound the benefit
of the doubt. Not like the DIONYSISUS bands!!!! God, talk
about a 60's punk label that specializes only in the
most BORING SHIT!!!! (ATPRKC)
JAMES BROWN Ain't That A Groove (1966-1969) LP (Polydor; *ea
Huh! Cliff Whites excellent sampling of totally necessary
JB. The recording quality's unretouched, raw and sharp
like the original singles: "Let Yourself Go," "Don't
Be A Dropout," "Bring It Up" and other molten gems. The
horns yowl and jerk, all melody stripped back to reveal
the raging sensuality of Brown's voice, yelling, complaining,
exhorting, pleading. Like having someone rub your face
into barbed wire. (Patrick)
JAMES BROWN Doing It To Death (1970-73) LP (Polydor) '84
Sequel to Ain't That A Groove traces the King's discovery
and development of funk. He's still at his rawest, but the
rhythms have mutated beyond straight-ahead R&B. The sequence
is perfect: "Think," "Escape-ism," and "I'm A Greedy Man"
'87
rocking with primal soreness. It hit me like a load of bricks
one evening; now I listen to it all the time. A required
medicine that takes fakes like Schodly D. for a ride around
the cement mixer. (Patrick)
BUILDERS "Ginger Jar" 45 (South Indies, New Zealand)
Trying to get a grasp on the Builders is near-impossible.
Revered in Christchurch & throughout New Zealand, related
to various past entities like the Pin Group, Victor Dimisch
Band, Scorched Earth Policy, et. al. but no records on
Flying Nun. A man. Bill Direen or Bilderine, occasionally
separate from the band, occasionally the same, names eliding
into one confused jumble. Best to start with the B-side
of this single, "What A Hoombah," and work your way inward.
"What a hoombah, whatta whatta hoombach" the group laconically
chants over a vaguely reggae backbeat. Doesn't sound too
inviting? Well, no one invited you! Go dig a hole. (Patrick)
'87
BUILDERS L e t 's Play LP (South Indies, New Zealand)
No clue on the dates for most of this stuff. The record
opens with a twisted Jamaican dub thing that does little
for me. The last thing I want to hear these days is a minor
chord on the offbeat. The next tune is a more straightforward
song with French horn, a mournful ballad Jesus, this is
unpredictable, ain't it. Many songs veer off in conga/funk
directions. A couple, "Stand Up" and "Newspaper Sleep"
roar off into a Velvets/Verlaine barraeje that sits in
your ears like pats of butter. Hardly a "recommended
purchase." (Patrick)
BUILDERS CQNCH^ LP (South Indies, New Zealand)
Even less consistent than Let's Play, a mishmosh of rhythms,
pattering horns and ethnic musics...one track, "Dublin,"
is pretty and evasive, but it doesn't come off as spon
taneous or antying. Clearly, more listening is necessary.
(Patrick)
BUSINESS Loud Proud & Punk Live LP (Syndicate, UK)
The proliferation of Business records is enough to
confuse the most devoted fan...see, I'm not clear on
this, but at one time the Business were a sort of New Day
Rising pop band with a working-class outlook, at another
a clenched-fist bunch of English lads having a bloody
good time. This record documents the latter (inferior)
phase, still pretty rousing, hell, it's probably MORE
rousing than the early stuff, especially the convincingly
angry "Real Enemy." (Don'^ trust rouse, though. A rouse
is a dime-a-dozen compared to a good song. Too easy to
get fooled in these Jam-starved times.) These guys
could give ol' S-Driver a run for the anger, no mean
feat in the Oi! sweepstakes. In case you missed out on
Oi! (one former friend thought it was a synonym for
"hardcore"), the Business were one of the all-time greats
and their records must be owned...some of them, anyway.
(Patrick)
KALEIDOSCOPE Faintly Blowing LP (5 Hours Back, UK) '87
'87
This LP is superior to the first. The reissue doesn't
include the original gatefold, but aside from that flaw,
the record is massive. Kaleidoscope's occasional period
cuteness or coquetry seems absorbed by the intense weirdness
59

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of the whole thing, and especially, the music... The
songwriting is amazing, delving into melodies and hooks
so extravagant I never imagined they could exist; "Black
Fjord," "Faintly Blowing," "Snapdragon" music so lavish,
so perfect...this is one of the greatest LP's ever. I'm
serious; it's difficult to review a record like this
without going off the edge, and that wouldn't get me
anywhere. The encrusted melodies and voices and guitar
are in a league with Richard Thompson, the Chills, the
Zombies. IT HAS TO BE HEARD. (Patrick)
DAVID ALLAN COE A Matter Of Life & Death LP (CBS) '87
"Lost in the 80's, that's where I am... I don't know
if I picked up in all of Gerard's raves over the past few
years that Coe was a country singer. I finally noticed
one of his records on the wall at Sounds and was amazed that
a fifty year-old weirdo with blond hair to his hips could
be any good at all...or maybe I thought, "Wow." George's
copy came with a press kit that says he's released twenty-
six albums on Columbia and I hear that's a fraction of
his total output. Of course, Nashvillian "Jonathon" Marx
claims that he's way too modern...not like that gritty
authentic stuff. Thing you may not realize, "Jonathon "
"Blue" Marx is just another Tennessee Jew and you know how
far you can trust THEM...ya can't make floor spaghetti
when you don't have a countertop, "Jonathon" WHERE'S MY $100?!!!
The rec's chockful o' lush produced country music,
dribbling over with crusty tales "I'm blue collar & stuck
in a mill" of Coe & his father (died 8/9/86), incredible
melodies, but "Child Of God" is this religious tune, WHAT
THE FUCK? "My brother was a Jew." Yeah. (Patrick)
CAPTAIN BEEFHEART & THE MAGIC BAND Mirror Man LP (Performance)
Latest in a string of reissues of this record; the original
has real cracks in the mirror on the sleeve. Serious
historical value: the songs were recorded two years
before the Beef's debut Safe As Milk, and they're much
weirder than that fine record. Beef cackles and crackles
his way thru toe-jam blues that wouldn't be outta place
on Strictly P. or Trout Mask Replica...some of the only
sax I can ever stand makes its squawking appearance. Not
the most essential C.B., but swell background music for
cooking, breathing, what have you. (Patrick)
CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN II & III LP (Pitch-A-Tent) '86
It was pretty easy to dismiss this band because of their
novelty content, so I began here with side 2 (always a good
idea when giving a record a second chance), and the frat-
punk humor of "(Wc'rc ) Bad Trip" hardly altered my
60
stereotype. Perfect fodder for British music journalists
ravenous for scraps of American "culture." But then the
two instrumentals "Circles" and "Dustpan" sweep me
away into the object-dreams their titles suggest;
"Circles" a swirling cacophany with gentle sitar, "Dustpan"
a pretty, unselfconscious round the melody that revolves
in your head as you change the laundry on a hot day. (Patrick)
CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN Vampire Can Mating Oven 12" EP
(Pitch-A-Tent) '87
This bunch took the drastic downturn I expected...all they
need's a major-label contract now to start sucking big-
time. Three dreary country ballads, some Keith-Emerson-style
keyboard twiddling, and a faithful cover of Ringo Starr's
"Photograph," about as exciting as an all-expenses-paid
trip to California, if you get my drift. (Patrick)
CANNANES "No One" 45 (K) '87
Moaning poorly-recorded shoebox tape recorder women; the
sleeve proudly proclaims "Lo-Fi" but there's none of the
usual self-consciousness that goes with that (you know,
60's punk type bands recording in mono and then reproducing
the "MONOPHONIC" logos from Merseybeat albums on their
fucking little singles, etc...A sort of sonic toothbrush,
this, a drone that keeps going and doesn't really let
up for a while, but no, Chris Stig., there are no important
antecedents and if you don't like it, why don't you go
home and listen to that good Velvets boot w/ Moe on the
cover? I'm serious, I'm not being viciou/yI simply want
you to enjoy yourself (Patrick)
CAT HEADS Hubba LP (Restless) '87
Manages to produce exactly what you'd expect from a Restless
LP that describes itself as "clawing, biting blues trash."
In other words, the only way they'd be "the llth-greatest
band in the world" would be if there were only 9 other
bands. (George)
CATTLE "El Dio" 45 (Addled) '87
Formerly Al Perry & The Cattle Crossing, a bunch of South-
westerners plonking around. Tex/Mix instro, JAMC guitar
sheets, halfhearted attempt at a sort of hardcore riff,
you get the idea. Maybe if these people had something to
do all day instead of baking in the sun theyd' make interesting
music. (Patrick)
CELIBATE RIFLES "Pretty Pictures" 45 (Shigaku Presents, UK) '87
"Kent's" was the only tune left unexhumed from their awe
inspiring 1982 debut "But Jacques, The Fish" EP. This
release sounds a lot muddier than the original to these
ears, but the killer riff and rousing Birdman-like pretty
little lead guitar melody cut through fine. "Pretty Pics"
is a necessity, a Velvets/Reed pop song like the Rifles tend
to do, and if you missed it before, you need it now. "Celebate"
is the cool way to spell it, and the Ed. is supposed to
be 500, so if you see it, yr in luck. (George)
CELIBATE RIFLES Kiss Kiss Bang Bang LP (What Goes On) '87
A truly bitchin' collection of tunes from one of the world's
fave GTR bands, including an awesome Only Ones cover ("City
O' Fun") and a predictable but orgasmic "Burn My Eye."
Not a single dud, and the new "Carmine Vattelly" is nothing
short of perfect. The only let-down is that nothing on
a mere slab of plastic could ever equal the cum-spuA.n*,
death-dealin' assault of an actual Celibates live show.
(George)
CELIBATE RIFLES Roman Beach Party LP (What Goes On) '87
A piece of roast chicken skin, that crackle so lacking in
99 out of 100 records, treble screeching enough to penetrate
my stuffed-up blown-out ears. The only band in the world
that still rocks hard enough to matter at all to me, a
sound so wonderfully sharp and quick that any .small flaws
(like their easy skwering of yuppies in "Wonderful Life")
'87 pass unnoticed...the gay angle only intrigues... (Patrick)
EUGENE CHADBOURNE LSD CLW dbl LP (Fundamental) '87
I don't like this. It's not the Huge, whose colorful per
sonality engages me every time, or the entertaining sel
ection of live oddments and Shockabilly outtakes including
a monumental Beatles medley with John Zorn and Kramer. It's
not the Willie Nelson cover, which swells romantically
at the end, or "7 & 7 Is" which boasts nice thick guitar
barrage and blaring vocal antics. It's the Burl Ives
medley, and the Roger Miller medley, and the Hendrix
medley, and the Hendrix covers, that just aren't too
spifflicating. That real frenetic guitar noodling just
gets blocked across four sides of indifferent recording.
And the orange-blue cover seems vaguely Dead-ish. But
on the other hand the prospect of owning an hours worth
of Chadbourne throwaways is just too attractive, like an
uncomfortable chaise-longue. You see what I mean. (Patrick)
 CHAD'S TREE Buckle In The Rain LP (Nude, Aus) '87
single, "Sweet Jesus Blue Eyes," wields a mournful
violin and an unconcerned vocal...you might pick the
Triffids as a major influence, but they don't abuse it.
Chad's is far less precise, far less involved with a
sense of open space. The harsh vocal parts and trebly
drums will drive a lot of people away.,,which is okay.
(Patrick)
CHAD'S TREE "Sweet Jesus Blue Eyes" 45 (Nude, Aus) '87
The unreleased B-side, "To The Highest Bidder," doesn't
grapple with you like the best stuff on the album, a little
Smithy actually. Dapper sleeve. (Patrick)
CHICAGO TRAX VOLUME I comp LP (Trax) '87
I was ^initially intrigued by "house?1music. That Spin primer
described it as mixes of obscure Italian disco singles
valuable collector's items bolstered by a heavy drum
machine "foot." It also offered this provenance of the
word: "It's called 'house' because it doesn't leave the
house." This was so attractively stupid I thought to check
out some "house" next time some was available. Imagine my
confusion when someone identified an MOR disco song as
J.M. Silk, the "Kings Of House"! Several years later I
got this record for free, and it confirms my initial
impression: the Italian disco singles are no better for
being rare, the "foot" isn't heavy at all, and the whole is
a wad of sort of lame soft dance music. "'House.'" Sounds
like another scam for blacks to make millions off of
gullible white people. (Patrick)
CHILLS "Dan Destiny & The Silver Dawn" 45 (Bucketfull Of
Brains, UK) '87
Recorded in the aftermath of Chills #9, this version of
"Dan Destiny" is just Martin Phillipps and old keyboardist
Terry Moore, no drums or anything...the vocals intrude
a. bit without the rhythm section while the part "It's
twenty-below now Danny" seems colder, more alien.
"Oncoming Day" is far superior to the version recorded
(but not used) for the new album, a joyful swell of keyboards
introducing this bighearted song. (Patrick)
CHILLS "I'll See You Alone Again" 45 (Normal, Germany) '87
A live freebie with the German edition of Kaleidoscope World,
and certainly the best Chills to come oit since the Lost
EP. The fast hard snare and soaring melody of "I'll See
You" recalls ''Hidden Bay" more than anything on the sodden-
sounding Brave Words, and the flip, "Green-Eyed Owl,"
lifts folds of sound fabric, time-changes and melancholy
for a mammoth 5:47, during which time only a few seconds
seem to have passed...completely ego-less non-rock wash
of sound; it has more to do with reading a book than
succumbing to the arrogant posturings of rock'n'roll
musicians. That is to say, you succumb and get carried
away instead of actively swimming along. (Patrick)
CHILLS "House With A Hundred Rooms" 12" EP (Flying Nun, UK)
87
Mayo Thompson's production is puke. Loud, punchy Brit
drums, thin guitar/organ you can barely hear, treated
vocals, AAGH! Where's the lush sound of "Doledrums?"
All producers should be SHOT! But oh, "Party In My Heart"
is anguished and sad, "I threw a party in my brain,
nobody else came/l nearly threw a life away, hoping that
they'd drop by!" What's Martin Phillips's preoccupation
with suicide anyway? His voice is like velvet, caressing,
now soaring, soothing, generous. The track at the end of
side two, "Living In A Jungle," slightly more sympathetically
produced, is concise and catchy; "House" suffers so much
from the hollow production that its mystical, dreamlike
quality is almost lost. (Patrick)
CHILLS Brave Words LP (Flying Nun UK, UK) '87
The first time I heard this I was strollin' down the Bowery
with Patrick and Connie and he was playing it for us on
a fukt-up box & it sounded ballsy & fuzzed-out. Since the
actual LP came out however, I've stuck to recounting
their live glory (via tape). The songs here are unquestionably
excellent, but the sound is far too contained. (George)
COCK SPARRER True Grit LP (Razor, UK) '87
I really dug Cock Sparrer's two '77 singles and their
1982 LP. This praiseworth comp collects the two Decca 45s
plus unreleased contemporaneous material, most of which
unfortunately points to Cock Sparrer's pub rots. Ah, but
that voice. (Patrick)
COSMIC PSYCHOS "Lead Me Astray" 45 (Mr. Spaceman, Aus) '87
"See your toaster and I think of you" "Balls-out," as my
mom used to say...these guys demonstrated some of the best
butt-low-end guitar thud ever on their first twelve-inch;
here i t s bolstered by grimacing leads in a Kent Steedman
style. But if you think that it has as much stayingpower
as everyones telling you you're wrong...now that's filed
under "C" I never listen to it. This sludge ethic has been
run into the ground and I suppose if you're a fan you'll
enjoy good derivations like this one just like power pop
afficionados still enjoyed the Yachts in 1983. (Patrick)
COUCH FLAMBEAU The Day The Music Died LP (It's Only A Record) '86
My main referent for these guys was that Little Rascals
parody they did on the first album, which sure had unusually
powerful low-end guitar thunk, but got filed under "novelty"
in my brain. This album overflows with monstrous guitar
that owes more to Metallica or Judas Priest than any punk
rock band, shrapnel spilling over. I used to think that the
jokey stuff could still go, but now I realize it's an
indispensable part of the Couch Flambeau oddity: mighty
rock stylings and a total spoiled-brat attitude. (Patrick)
CREATION The Singles LP (Line, Germany) '87
CREATION How Does It Feel To Feel LP (Edsel, UK) '84
Singles is the sixth compilation album of a band who released just
nine 4 5 's, period. We ie one of the greatest bands of all time,
of course...and there's still no definitive album. This
record compiles the German singles and the question remains
whether they were substantially different takes from the
UK singles (particularly "How Does It Feel To Feel" and "Painter
Man"), or if Line simply did a worse mastering job than
Edsel did on their How Does It Feel To Feel comp. The situation
is complicated by the German-only release of several songs,
including some inconsequential covers but also the dazzling
"Uncle Bert" of course, the Edsel album contains some great
non-German-release tracks like "Ostrich Man" and "Throuqh
My Eyes."
In fact, the Edsel album is a far superior master (though
still not perfect the Line LP has better bass) but to balance
that out, the Line album is on glorious white vinyl. In
addition, some of the songs sound so different (in addition
to the ones listed above, "Making Time" and "Try And Stop Me")
that either purchase is equally valuable. The clear solution
would seem to be to buy the only Creation two-album sequence,
also on Line, We Are Paintermen and Re-Creation, to avoid
overlapping tracks, but there's still a couple problems:
these records are not very full S, the few songs on each side
do not make for the expected increase in sound quality; actually,
quite the opposite. In fact, they still miss some songs. And
don't forget the Mark Four (Creation '64-'66, whose later
superb singles are collected on an Eva comp with unreleased
Creation covers and a French-only EP song called "Sylvette").
The only solution is just to buy everything you ever see with
the word "Creation" on it, including the original singles,
mastered at excruciatingly high volume. The band's fucking
magnificent, so there's no point in missing a couple songs over
piddly financial problems. (Patrick)
DAG NASTY Wig Out At Denko1s (Dischord) '87
A festering piece of stankin' shit.
DAIN BRAMAGE I Scream Not Coming Down LP (Fartblossom) '87
With such a retarded name and association with the respected
Fartblossom label, you'd figure suckin' would be the name
of the game. Wrong! Despite mix-ups with the Donner Party
record, a pretty raw don't-give-a-shit sound emerges, and
it doesn't resemble Public Humiliation a bit. Not hard
enough though, and I hate those tin can drums. In any
case, Bramage might make a good record someday, and that's
more than you can say for the other bands on Fartblossom.
(PAtriek)
DAVE DAVIES The Album That Never Was LP (Pye, UK) '88
You've heard the three best songs on this comp many many
times: "Death Of A Clown," "Love Me Till The Sun Shines"
and the peerless "Suzannah's Still Alive" (some copies
appear to contain the B-side of that single by accident).
The other stuff palls next to the Ray songs of the same
Something Else/Village Green period Dave's more fragile
stuff works better where it can contrast with his brother's
more emotionally-intense songs. Also, "This Man He Weeps 1
Tonight" is the same tune as "Hold My Hand," rather obvious
on a ten-song album. Also, they claim they codldn't find
the intriguing "lost bongs'' originally intended for
Dave's album (like "Crying" and "The Shoemaker's Daughter"),
but Scott Curran has them on bootlegs. So much for that.
But "Lincoln County" is wonderful fake Americana (doesnt
that sound like a bad idea? Which is exactly why it's
got charm), "There Is No Life Without Love" beautifully
subdued,and all the music has a nice inconsequential
tone. That doesn't mean it's inconsequential at all
just not what it could have been. (Patrick)
DIE KREUZEN October File LP (Touch & Go) '86
Wow, did I fuck up on this one. People say moving to New
York must make you appreciate dissonant music, but I think
it's the food you eat. Anyway, anyone who condemns Die
Kreuzen as "dissonant" is at least as dumb as the fun folks
who construed last issue's editorial as a condemnation of
61
all dissonance in music. The controlled funk guitar of
"Man In The Trees" screams along# a close barrier around
the chaotic vocal/drum barrage, a variety of emotions
related to enclosure and interiors. Then, thirty seconds
of "Uncontrolled Passion," a wet rag whipping against the
face, and into the bucking rhythm of "It's Been So Long."
The chunky treated guitars and whipcrack drums play against
the shriek of the vocals and the soaring songs the
titles forbode ("Among The Ruins," "Hide And Seek," "Hear
And Feel"): the record is compelling and powerful. It's
as important as the Clean and the Chills records that
came out that year. (Patrick)
DINOSAUR JR. Dinosaur Jr. 12 EP (SST) '87
This nifty l i '1 number has a lot of concerned consumers
screamin' "rip-off! But heck, that's exactly the kind
of difficulty that promos solve for hep scenesters for
myself. So: the Frampton cover is a joyous jaunt through
the seventies w/ delightful fantastic elements added: Gtrs
cradde & rip, and everyone has to sing like a lackadaisical
N. Young. Stuff o' Dreams, Good Dreams. (George)
DINOSAUR You're Living All Over Me LP (SST) '87
Let me give the "scene report" from inside my head. I'm pretty
fucking sick of not just college radio or alternative
music, but rock and roll. For a while last summer I listened
to a lot of metal, and although it it probably, the genre
that produces the most crap, some of it is brilliantly
twisted and rewarding. Then I gotreally into Rod Stewart
with the aid of the Bangs bio. Both men were fuckin'
brilliant. Dylan and Neil Young take up a lot of my listening
time lately. For the last couple of months, I've mostly
listened to Nothing. The pleasure of sitting in a room where
the silence was so thick that it hummed in my ears was stronger
than that any noise could give me. Except for Mozart and
Dinosaur. There is something so offhandedly beautiful and
sincere about this record. It's the first thing I've been
able to listen to more than twice in a Day for years. Of
course, this is partly due to general boredom with music.
But there is something of mythical depth here; something
archetypal. At moments, when a guitar solo kicks in, or when
a song reaches a natural plateau and starts to glide, my
heart stops. It's those moments that bring all the fear,
joy, hope and embarrassment of a crucial part of your life
back to you, but it's now. It may not be more melodic or
tighter or louder than Soul Asylum or the Celibates, but
it far surpasses them. (George)
DENTISTS Down & Out In Paris & Chatham 12" EP (Tambourine,
UK) '85
These guys must be the missing link between the DIY late
70's (TV Personalities, Swell Maps, Thomas Leer, etc.)
and the Subway Organization/early Creation Records: they
had one single way back when and then some recent EPs
that fell through every crack. Nothing as putrid or fake
as Pop Will Eat Itself or Gaye Bykers, more an unaffected
blend of churning guitars and mostly unseIfconscious songs.
"Chainsaw The Horse" and "She Dazzled Me With Basil"
resemble early Times singles, even Sunnyboys, with far
fewer preconceived ideas or plans to do anything at all...
(Patrick)
DENTISTS You & Your Bloody Oranges 12" EP (Tambourine, UK) '86
They've toned down the production even more...after four
years htese guys clearly have no high aims. Haven't heard
a band from England with such a give-a-fuck attitude
in years. The Dentists toss everything off, whether
it's, a great guitar lick, a major hook, or a useless vocal
drone. Nothing has the superb dated sound of "Strawberries
Are Growing In My Garden," though portion^remind me of
Kinks circa Something Else. (Patrick)
DECLINE OF THE REPTILES Too Much Armour, Not Enough Brains
LP (Waterfront) '86
Innocuous record, hardly uplifting. Wait, moments of
"Mother Christ" fade in & out of raw screaming and the
refrain "I'm Just, A Nervous Guy" but the good elements
don't flow together, like, say, the most intact Chills
songs. The posthumous record may not capture a good live
band, who knows? (Patrick)
DESPERATE ROCK'N'ROLL VOL. 1 comp LP (Flame, UK) *87
Widely-hailed British series; I prefer my grunge filthy
and these records deliver, a bunch of assholes bawling
drunkenly about wimmen in badly-recorded R&B, takes shit
like Harem Scarem and beats the fuck out of it...sure
pleasers for Kicks fans. (Patrick)
DIDJITS Fizz job (Bam Bam) '86
Endless recommendations notwithstanding, the rockabilly
vocal squawk on the opening cut turns me off like a pair of
blue underwear, noito mention the tired riff...uh, same
goes for the sneer in the chorus of "Hafta Be Cool To
Rule." Yeah, loud once meant better, but somehow I know
62
I'm gonna be reaching for John Renbourn or the Chills
or Toy Love over this. And if I'm pissed off. Anthrax
sounds far more legitimately pissed-off than anything
this dilletante little record could muster. (Patrick)
DIDJITS Hev, Judester LP (Touch & Go) '88
My sour reaction to the much-praised debut is borne out
by this unremarkable follow-up. Whining non-songs, generic
teen content: the Didjits really belong in the Elvis Hitler
school of sheer brainlessness. Which explains their
raving popularity among the frustrated Americanophiles
in England and Australia. (Patty-Boy)
DIED PRETTY "Winterland" 45 (Citadel, Aus) '88
It's tough to pretend this rocker has anywhere near the
power of 1986's "Blue Sky Day." That song took me places
I'd never been. This one's got the same fine-tasting ingred
ients: careering drums# thin organ, and Ron Peno's yowling
vocal, but this band evokes spring better than winter.
(Patrick)
DILS Live! LP (Triple-X) '87
Horrendous live document of the late Dils, off-key vocal
harmonies dominating the mix. What a record those three
singles plus compilation track would have made, with the
addition of the rumored unreleased studio outtakes. Instead,
most people will associate the Dils' name with this embarrassing
piece of shit. Looks terrible, too. (Patrick)
BILL DIREEN & BARRY STOCKLEY Life In Bars LP (South Indies,
New Zealand) '87
Direen's voice often resembles Perry Como on this bizarre
record with stand-up bassist Barry Stockley. "The shampoo
stands at the edge of the bath/It's nearly half-full, it's
nearly half-gone: Either way you look at it, it's wrong,
wrong, wrong." Aggressively amateur, half-thought-out
reminiscences and oddities, a plain sleeve that'd make
me pick it up in a store. Whatever, music this expansive
and simple only comes out of New Zealand...for now.
(Patrick)
DIVINE HORSEMEN "Mother's Worry" 45 (Forced Exposure) '87
The 1985 band, an uneasy demo take with harsh sound
quality. The flip's got the Flesh Eaters doing the
song "Divine Horseman" live in '82...it only makes me
wonder who has the rest of the concert the Take It version
of "River Of Fever" was culled from, and I think1I know...
it wouldn't be too hard even for young Stove Erickson
to figure out, but if so, why didn't they put on something
from that thunderous tape? (Patrick)
DIVINE HORSEMEN Snake Handler LP (SST) '87
Deeply satisfying songs employing Chris's bass & Julie's
alto in harmony: these guys are really becoming the Richard
& Linda Thompson of punk rock. Unlike the last album,
the Flesh Eaters' guitar structures rise up into the c&w
flourishes of the vocals & slide, punk songs submerged
beneath the country sound. No reason why they should be
laid bare; this intriguing mess Sirokes just as hard. Like
AC/DC's progression in reverse (while Flick Of The Switch
is a wall of sound, "Dog Eat Dog" reaches further into
the nerve centers of groove & jolt). People, maybe including
the band, probably consider Divine Horsemen more adult,
but that's an artificial consideration; age doesn't usually
improve musicians. It's no kind of progression, just a
different bowl of soup. (Patrick)
DIVINE HORSEMEN Handful Of Sand EP (SST) *88
This band just gets better & better. Now I really want
to see em again, to wash out the memory of watching MFG
look ostentatiously bored across the stage at CBGB. 'Cause
the live side, especially the sultry "Frankie Silver," smokes.
Chris & Julie trade off vocals folk-style, Julie sounding
like Tanya Tucker on a dark night, sweating copiously under
a large cowboy hat. it almost makes me want to live in
a warmer clime for a moment, just to hear her croon, "Please,
please Mr. Jailah...whatcha gonna do to me!" Take that,
you "Amazing Blondel!" (Patrick)
DONNER PARTY Dormer Party LP (Cryptovision) '87
Craig & Gerard & I once spent an enjoyable car ride in
the company of WNYU's Hugh and this band. Due to Hugh's
poor command of the English language, however, we were
mystified as to the band's name. The Donna Party? The
Donor Party? The Donapotty? Months later the record came out
on the justly-maligned Cryptovision label, and all was
clear (despite much confusion with Dain Bramage same guitar
sound same color cover!) Recall that this record came in
promo packages with Mod Fun (ugh) and Lyon In Winter (Jesus
Christ!), and you'll understand why it sank without
a trace. A minor-key brew, like Scott Miller singing for
the mid-period Clean with punk-rock songvriting; if that
sounds pretty neat you'll probably enjoy this. (Patrick)

DRAGNET "Five Days" 45 (Whittier) '88
Heavy singalong ditty with those Lemonheady kind* of guitar
leads. The rhythm section holds it back instead of
pushing it too fast, a rare problem X associate with
the early TV Personalities. Doesn't hurt too much, but
it's hard to pretend this'll exert attention-control like
Kelly Linehan's old band, Man Sized Action. Promo-only
non-LP B-side triples the value, however. I did hear one
stupendous song by these guys on a demo tape. (Patrick)
DRIVIN' AND CRYIN' Scarred But Smarter LP (688) '87
First of all the production and songwriting rocks! But
it's totally fagit. When it first appeared, people said,
"Hey cool, a Georgia record that rox!! It's not college
radio fodder!" But i t s annoying as shit. The singer sings
all his dumb-ass melodies like it wasn't cool to be into
them. Or maybe like a kid who was too old being forced to
sing along to "Old MacDonald" with a bunch of eleven-year-
olds. For some reason it evokes horrible images of Barber
sweating and pumping over a hunched figure who turns
out to be, under that mass of greasy, curly, matted
locks...I won't say. Makes me wanna puke. Actually, this
pisses me off. Then's a stupid acoustic guitar out front in
all the songs, which' in a horrible ballad called "You
Want Everything" takes on the "Ass-pecked" of a balalaika-
shit. The same travesty of a tune contains the line "The
Beatles do it best." If so, why don't assholes like Drivin*
And Cryin' give it up? Probably 'cuz they just got signed
to Island & they'll soon be makin' bux. But it's no
surprise that they sound bored. (George)
DRUNKS WITH GUNS Alter Human Industrial Fetishes 7" EP
(Dental) '87
I couldn't be less interested in Drunks With G u n s
petty domestic squabbles. I have no idea who played on
this single, whether Stan or Mike wrote the songs, but
it's fucking unparalleled. Way more "together" than
the first two EPs, "Zombie" is an otherworldly stomp
into cobwebbed holes. Geezer Butler on the guitar,
the drums in a radiator about two miles away, the singer
a harelipped actor from China. And the end of the song
is truly fucking deranged. (Patrick)
DRUNKS WITH GUNS Alter Human Industrial Fetishes 7" EP
(DWG) '87
Riff-rockin' sludge that leaves Kilslug way behind. Some
sort of heated legal battle is taking place over this
yowling gem, but neither side seems to be very clear on
the isues. In the meantime, snap this up before everyone's
threatened into not carrying it. "Zombie" is a totally
uncompromising rant with production values that put the
first Feedtime record to shame. God, that snare drums
sounds like it's in an isolation tank two miles away. The
vocals sound like theyre coming out of the radiator.
The guitar sounds like it's in Tony Iommi. If you're not
Jesse Peretz, you need it. (Patrick)
DRUNKS WITH GUNS Untitled LP (Chopper) '88
The feud between the two wings of this band is certainly
the biggest soap opera going on in punk rock today. Whether
or not you believe Mike Doskocil's supposed stabbing attempts
(while on parole, no less!), Stan Seitrich's lawsuit threats,
the galvanization of everyone to one side or the other?
(the "Inner Mystique" stooge particularly has either a
relationship w/ Stan or a grudge against Mike), and the
STEADY release of vinyl from both parties claiming to be
the REAL Drunks With Guns. All I know is these guys first
showed up showing up Kilslug w/ that single Curtis was
waving in everyone's faces back in '84, followed it up with
one more, and then a third (from Doskocil) featuring two
of the previous songs and one new one, then a tape (from
Doskocil) called '84-'87 featuring the songs on the singles,
then a fourth single (from Seitrich) compiling the B-sides
(the "superior" songs, says Art Black), then a new tape
from Doskocil called The Complete Drunks With Guns where you
can hear him lifting up and replacing the needle on his
now much-worn copies of the first two singles, and now
this, the first album (points to Seitrich!) compiling
all the singles but the third (Doskocil's) plus a new track
called "Wonderful Subdivision" and PERHAPS more (I'm way
too bored to check it out). I think the message is clear
to any thinking collector: YOU GOTTA GET EVERYTHING. Do it.
(Patrick)
DUMPTRUCK For The Country LP (Big Time) '87
An unending yawn, emasculated jangly pop with calculated
Byrds or Chilton licks thrown in. Dumptruck sound like
they're sort of expiring halfway across the street, so
exhausted by getting out of the house that day that another
step is impossible. Of course, respect is due the giant
intellect of Seth Tiven: "A voice inside you is asking why/
All you can do is start to cry...tear down the wire!"
That kind of weak, empty imagery abounds. "I get so tired...
still I can't let go." Let go, Seth, let go! (Patrick)
ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA "Sweet Talkin Woman" 45 (IJA) '77
More bands should realize the potential of string arrangements
these days...I remember lovin' this when it came out,
falsetto choruses, hook like a strawberry tart, gooey,
tasty, hanging in the air for hours after it's been
consumed. Moreover the single's on purple vinyl, has
a beaut pic sleeve (ELO spaceship in its final glory)...
sad to think people probably ignored this to listen to
the Sex Pistols or Eater when it came out. (Patrick)
EMBARRASSMENT Embarrassment LP (Time To Develop) '88
It's funny: at the time, the Embarrassment did not seem like
the greatest pop band of the 80's. At the time, they just
seemed like another band, nerdy in a cool way, admirable
cause they came from Lawrence, Kansas, obsessed with sex
and cars. I didn't ever think they were the cat's pajamas,
except for "Sex Drive," and I didn't have that. But now
I glue my ear to the speaker and blast this ugly fucker.
"Age Five," "Woods Of Love," a side of unreleased glory
(and there's more), a sweaty blend of tension and absence
that's far closer to the Undertones than all those Minutemon
fans would have you believe. It's not really "simple" enough
for Rachel Rosenbloom, but it's hard to imagine any worthwhile
music getting that simple (except for Elvis Costello, but
then no one was ever talking about being consistent). (Patrick)
EMBRACE Embrace LP (Dischord) '87
I didn't value the demo a couple years back. Ian MacKaye
fronting Faith: the songs are good, jerky, powerful
structures with unexpected chord changes. Ian's vocals
& lyrics are real, uh, "emo." Endless references to feelings:
forgiveness, shame, love, hate, pain, failure. Demonstration
of the issues usually works a lot better than talking about
them at length, and I got this album the same day as a
superb Minor Threat live tape arrived in the mail. The
contrast was unfortunate. Though it has none of the political
pretensions of the "Fugazi," this rather resigned record
hardly makes you want to get up and turn the world around.
(Patrick)
ENGLAND'S GLORY Legendary Lost Recordings LP (5 Hours Back,
UK) '87
5 Hours Back, an interesting label apparently run by
fanatical Bucketfull Of Brains readers, constantly
digs up stuff yearning tob e unearthed. England's Glory
was Peter Perrett's band before the Only Ones and it
resembles that band's harder moments...the biting. Stones
guitar licks and-Jagger/Dylan vocal influences toned down
later on, but these old tapes ring as fresh & clear as the
Raspberries or Big Star. Perrett sounds young, infatuated
with Lou Reed, but the songs are unmistakably his, par
ticularly "Devotion" and a n ^ arly, staggered "City Of
Fun" that stand out as loud, crisp rock songs completely
out of place in the murky pub/glam scene of England at
the time. Gorgeous textured grey sleeve with pasted-on
postcard and informative liner notes. Indispensable.
(Patrick)
ROKY ERICKSON Acoustic EP 7" EP boot '88
Luckily this boot 7" sounds like it was recorded fine
and copied a million times before it was mastered.. The
wavering fuzzy quality insures a feeling of legendary
brilliance. I'll admit I'm so gauche that I think "Don't
Slander Me" is one of the best slabs evah it sounds like
a fuckin' WACKED CCR outtake. This shit is demented too,
but not quite as thick you don't feel like you just stuffed
63
G.P.O. BOX 542d, MELBOURNE 3001 VICTORIA AUSTRALIA

'/T'S TOO MUCH '

your mouth with a thick hunk of food and then CHEWED.
But when do you get that feeling? Old Roky suddenly
realized that he truly wuz BOBBY DYLAN in them ol* acoustic
glory Daze. In fact, there is substantial reason to believe
that some laugh-starved "Joker" slipped a Zimmerman take of
"Tambourine Man" onto this EP so he could get off on watching
'em pay less than ifit were Properly Credited. (George)
EUROPE The Final Countdown LP (CBS) '87
Well Byron likes to brag about how he got kicked out
of school for blastin' the Ramones and arty turds like
Gerard like to talk about how they can fuck to the Swans,
but whenever I put this on, someone immediately tries
to kill me with it, so I guess I'm cooler than everyone
now! (George)
EVIL I DO NOT/TO NOD I LIVE 5X7" EP box compilation
(Pallindrome) '88
Things must be getting pretty rough when five American
bands feel they have to put out a limited-edition hand-
silkscreened five-single box set to get some attention.
Fortunately they're all pretty swell: Slush Puppies a
screaming guitar-lead thing, "Assimilation" too abstract
a concept for my mind to grasp in this emotional framework
(yelling, panting, etc.); "Lost At Ten"'s a finer concept...
I've been lost at ten many times. That doesn't mean
music has to be self-referential. I've never been drowned
at sea, yet most of the songs I've been listening to
recently seem to be about that. The other main group of
notice is the Black Girls, a heavy rombling hum that
props up furniture, etc. Don't think I'd be caught rec
ommending the "Angels Of Epistemology," but hey, there's
a nice little booklet inside. You could do something with
this. (Patrick)
EXAMPLEHEAD Aheadofstyle LP (Aberrant, Australia) *86
Not a typical Aberrant record. More like a bullet that
enters through an ear, travels out one eye and back in the
other. The guitar is a fuzzed-up monster playing some
of those chords Tom Lyle always plays, the bass thuds
and rumbles, the vocals sound seriously upset but the
lyrics moronic ("Ice cream truck's coming down the
street/Lots of flavors for you to pick/Cram it in till
you feel sick"), nice sleeve, general obsession with
feet, sound is total midrange (a la Martin Bisi), which
I normally detest, but it works here like a wrench in
a cramped space. The songs are pretty cool, a bunch of
rambling and unfocused rants that recall Feedtime and
someone else who I can't remember. (Patrick)
FAIRPORT CONVENTION Heyday LP (Hannibal, UK & US) '87
As Chris Lombardi might say, confronted by a steaming
plate of fresh linguini and glistening red lumbs of tomatoes
and meat, UH-OH!! An album full of Fairport's '68-69
BBC outtakes, virtually all American covers. It's the
stuff you always suspected they were doing before Liege
& Lief kicked that idea (and Ian Matthews) on the nose.
Among the meatballs: a Sandy Denny-harmonized "Gone Gone
Gone" that ranks with the "When Will I Be Loved" on the
Bunch LP; two Leonard Cohen covers as sweet and redolent
of 1965 as you could want; rambunctious Johnny Cash and
Joni Mitchell takes; a passionate version of "Percy's
Song;" and my favorite, a sexy Everlys cover I didn't
recognize called "Some Sweet Day." It has all the wistful
dated sound of the Unhalfbricking LP; the John Peel
sessions suffer from muffled sound, but will that stop
you? Should it? (Patrick)
volume on the guitars, they'd be mindblowing. On the other
hand, he entimental "Hiring Fair" and "Close To The Wind"
are unlistenable old folks' songs, and it's questionable
that the world really needs a tenth version of "Matty
Groves." (Patrick)
FASTBACKS And His Orchestra LP (Popllama) '87
Lightweight Northwest stuff paraded as "punk" by a bunch
of teenagers I know...I guess if the only thing you ever
hear in a song is the vocal melody and whether or not it's
on-key, you can get pretty desperate for "new sounds" (myself
I have an unquenchable thirst). Nothing too great, certainly
not as pure as their 1981 single or that excellent track
on one of the K cassette comps. (Patrick)
FEEDTIME "Don't Tell Me" 45 (Aberrant, Aus) '87
Feedtime's "Don't Tell Me" and "Small Talk" were two of
the best from '85's Why March When You Can Riot?! compilation
and in a move that points up what a CLASS OUTIFT Feedtime
is they've remade the two tracks for this attractive
single. "Small Talk" suffers fioma dilatory sax solo.
But "Don't Tell Me" is mighty the original noisy guitar
reduced to a groin-pumping bass rumble, the vocals a
pissed-off roar; and boy do I love the way those Aussie
innersleeves crinkle out of the heavy cardboard covers.
(Patrick)
F/i Why Not Now?...Alan! LP (RRR) '87
Members of Die Kreuzen on 2nd strictly-limited industrial
outing. The gems are scattered, a couple guitar tracks
in a sea of hissing and sputtering noises. These tracks
pummel pretty fierce, though: built-up layered dynamos
that increase the tension with no release. You might
enjoy it. (Patrick)
FISHERMEN "Can't You Stop" 45 (Waterfront, Aus) '87
Ex-Sunnyboys boxer/intimidator/vocalist Jeremy Oxley
barrels his giant frame and rather sweet voice through
a thoroughly satisfying soulless exercise reminiscent
of his early albums with considerably more power in the
guitars. Waterfront must be way too thrilled to have
Jeremy on the team.
FLESH D-VICE "Flaming Soul" 45 (Jayrem, NZ) '85
Prolific band on the North Island label that originally
spawned the Spines...rock'n'roll garbage totally not
found on F. Nun...as illustrated by a piece of anti-FN
cartoon propaganda on the back cover. At moments Flesh D-
Vice recall the great moments of Henchmen/Reptiles At
Dawn...esp. parts of "Coolin' Down" when all of a sudden

FAIRPORT CONVENTION In Real Time LP (Island) '87

Live tracks from the current line-up plus the new studio
remake of "Meet On The Ledge." That means you have to
put up with the nauseating electric violin (not fiddle)
of Ric Sanders, a jazz virtuoso who's ruined the last two
studio albums. Still, it's excellent to hear the sick vocal
chords of "Reynard The Fox" and "The Widow Of Westmorland"
amidst powerful 80*s production those drums are massive.
Even the grey Thompson/Swarbrick ballad "Crazy Man Michael"
fares well; Simon Nicol's vocals, though offhand, fit
neatly into the middle register. It was even neater to
hear this (briefly) on WNEW on the occasion of last fall's
disastrous Tull/Fairport tour. With Swarb on strings, and

65
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they make a drastic downshift in tempo those pilcdrivin'
immigrants would never attempt. Won't change your life,
but let me tell you something: only twenty or thirty
records will, and if they're all you listen to, you'll
get bored with music pretty fast. Learn to appreciate
records as aesthetic objects, not just utilitarian containers
of music. Fuckheads. (Patrick)
FLOTSAM & JETSAM Doomsday For The Deceiver LP (Metal
Blade) *86
As you know, the bassist is now in Metallica, and I don't
know if the band still exists. Anyway, the name (totally
odd for a metal band) was a tip-off that they'd be slightly
out of the ordinary. Turns out the riffs owe a lot to
Out Of Step, the vocals (not the best, that's not the
point) and the solos, don't. It suffers a little from that
bass-heavy production that especially mars Metal Blade
releases, but the songs are theie, taking right turns and
unexpected twists. A nice gritty edge, and it doesn't
have a genre" feel to it. (Patrick)
FLYING BURRITO BROTHERS Dim Lights. Thick Smoke, And
Loud, Loud Music LP (Edsel, UK) '86
Sick comp of prime Parsons-era metal, guitars wailing
in thick chorus? the songs celebrate sad countrydom
with wallop and force. Comparisons to Ivy Green miss
the point, but that band's devotion to heavy midrange
and unhealthy depressed pop clearly owes a lot to an
early diet of Gram Parsons and the Flying Burrito Brothers.
Liners explain the simpl provenance of these songs, many
of which only came out after Parsons had quit the band
and then kicked off. "Honky Tonk Women" beats the
original; "Bony Maronie" doesn't. You gotta get it. (Patrick)
49 MINUTE TECHNICOLOR DREAM comp LP (Bam-Caruso, UK)
Rubble Volume Four (see the PSYCHEDELIC SNARL compilation
review). Bam Caruso's faves tend to be shrill guitar psych.
I go more for the fucked-up pop. However, this record is
notable for two Kaleidoscope songs: "Flight From Ashiya,"
a paranoiac science fiction tale from the first album,
and a scarce single-track, "Dream For Julie." These guys
lifted melodies out of the air so fresh and majestic it's
unbelievable people didn't rip 'em off...Jesus, the refrain
66
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in "Julie: "Can you hear them living, see them living, feel
them living" becomes a swirling chant of intense power and
beauty, a tail-end to lodge in your mind forever. Of the
rest. Mirage, Caleb, Cymbaline, the Californians, and
Tempus Fugit, all have choice tracks hidden beneath the
shadow. (Patrick)
FOUR BANDS THAT COULD CHANGE THE WORLD compilation LP (Posit
ive Force, et. al.) '87
A truly horrible concept, three shitty hardcore labels
(Gasatanka, Positive Force, and Buy Our Records), none
of which has released a decent record on purpose for
the last four years, uniting to foist the horror of modern
7 Seconds on "the kids." A hideous cover completes the
package. 7 Seconds shine through with their legendary
boneheadedness, preaching and then "skanking out" with
an even more reprehensible SKA version of "Suck Together,
Fuck Together." AOD record the first boring version of
"Deuce," but you rilly couldn't expect anything better.
Strangely, only two of the five White Flag tunes are
postcore experiments in worthlessness, the other
three being crafty-enough Gen-X tributes that I could
conceivably want to hear again if they weren' on this
record. F spew forth no revelations, a powerf cover of
"I Got A Right" being no innovation at this point. Wher; s
the DK's-inspired a capella chant "philler in my head"
is disgusting at best. White Flag coulda made an OK
single out of it. Otherwise thoroughly pointless. (George)
FOUR HORSEMEN "World To End All Wars" 45 (Sundown, Aus) '87
More guitar hero bullshit w/ ex-Screaming Tribesmen in a
limited edition? Australians seem able to pump this
sort of thing out on demand these days, and boy did
it get boring last year or what? They can fool Chris
Lombardi but they can't fool me (Patrick)
GIRLS Reunion LP (Brasch) '87
Not a reunion at all of course, but the original long-lost
LP from 1980. Robin Amos told me a couple years ago that
no other Girls studio recordings existed besides the
single, a blatant lie. Now, this. It is too annoying to
imagine members of The Scene Is Now and Volcano Suns
hunched over the speaker, drool filling spittle buckets on
the ground changed hourly by wj illing dwarfs. Nonetheless/
the record clangs and shrieks twisting melody to serve
its own ends a series of staged car crashes that simulate
violence and anger well enough to make fun of them. (Patrick)
GO BETWEENS The Able Label Singles 12" EP (Situation 2, UK) '86
A twelve-inch comp of the first two impossibly rare Go
Betweens singles...I heard "People Say" many times and
dismissed it as a fey Geoff Weiss pop tune (yearning
high-pitched vocal, chromatic hook, etc.) I d heard Geoff
talking down "Lee Remick" many times and somehow never
got around to checking out his copy. (The reason for this
is so complicated you'd best ask me.) It's rough and rousing
loud anthemic singing a bit absurd on top of the thin instru
mentation, but strangely effective, like listening to a
Cybermen song or something. The later "People Say" is
completely different, layered with farfisa and harmony,
but now it socms much more ironic than coy. Now I remember
that the original sleeve is a cool thin-line graphic in
orange and blue, and the title matches a false Beatles
outtake from '66 ("People Say," invariably paired with "I'm
Walkin'." Never heard 'em.) Its flip, "Don't Let Him Come
Back," is a righteous song in the same vein with a honkin'
harmonica appropriate to mid-60's Dylan. The package, ah,
the package...when did you last see a gatefold on a four-song
twelve-inch? With a blue-tinted photo of Lee Remick, autographed
for Robert. Despite a stcker warning about poor sound quality
due to lost masters how do people always lose their
masters, I wonder I can't detect the difference. (Patrick)
GO BETWEENS Tallulah LP (Big Time) *87
This record provides no interest to me at all. A couple
OK melodies scattered through an LP of insipid post-Smiths
college radio fodder. Do you really want to print this?
Yes, who cares. (George)
GO-BETWEENS Tallulah LP (Big Time) '87
Excursion into violin/oboe panoramas, "didn't know a heart
could be tied up and held for ransom," couldn't have put
it better. A lot of this sounds like "Temptation"-period
New Order songs played in a bar. A -fine idea, particularly
with melodies as sad as these. Gotta listen to it some
more to figure out how much I like it, which should tip
you off on the record's value. It's as satisfying as a
bucket of Welsh rarebit. (Patrick)
GOVERNMENT ISSUE You LP (Giant) *87
Well. I have to admit that when I first purchased Boycott
Stabb I thought it sucked due to Stabb's whining vox.
Now that G.l. have come out of the cult-fan closet,
you'd be justified in getting pissed-off at the vocals.
But just cuz they're not the greatest band in the world
anymore is no reason to piss on 'em to be fair all of these
song either rock out or hum at you but nothing bashes you
in the head. (George)
GREAT PLAINS Sum Things Up LP (Homestead) '87
As lame as the "pun" in the title is, this record isn't
at all impaired by its cleverness. There is satisfaction in
finding a finding a band silly enough to sit around for hours
dragging songtitles like "Martin Luther King And Martin Luther
Drinking" out of the depths of their heavy subconscious.
And here is the problem: they can't get out of it by rockin'
HARD & MINDLESS, like the best; their inherent claims to
second-class status alone elevate them. They cop, of course,
only the best enigmas from BRUTAL punk rock. The Ramones get
quoted, "This is the end of the seventies," and you remember
how that line could justify even the lamest Phil Spector
production. So, they tone down a lot from their killer grunge,
and subtlety becomes, their trademark. Even so, Ron House
admits, "Im a drop-out English major." Everyone knows that
your Major is nothing, Ron. Maybe if you were a drop-out
grad student, at least us academic types'd be impressed.
But Great Plains beat all the little contradictons; they
deny any purely "theoretical" content to their music,
and because of that, subtlety included, they rock out
in your head! (George)
GREAT UNWASHED Clean Out Of Our Minds LP (Flying Nun, NZ) '83
The missing link between the Clean and the Great Unwashed
Singles record, strangely enough sounding nothing much
like either band...afi oddly-shaped thing this record,
creviced and bent into unexpected side-tunnels and rooms,
the weird minor-key guitar licks of both bands appearing
(the sound of "Boat With No Ocean" or "Attack Of The
Teddy Bears ) occasionally appearing, though in general
the sound (two guitars and vocs) is consistent; the many
songs ride up and down confusingly. Sort of like knocking
about the inside of a radiator. "Its a day for staying
inside, it's a day for wasting our time" sort of defines
the mood of the album: it's neither the cheerful brilli
ance of the earlier band or the dour vistas of the later.
More a low-key ramble through a bunch of stuff that was
sitting on their minds for a while. (Patrick)
HALF JAPANESE Charmed Life LP (Iridescence testpress) '88?
Recorded in 1985, the subject of various legal and con
tractual wrangles, now hanging in limbo...50 Skidillion
Watts told me it might come out in "eight months or so."
A convincing whallop of r'n'r, Jad Fair's first major step
toward straight rock. The songs include a bunch of live
classics like the pounders "It's All Said," "Vietnam,"
and "Face Rake," a slew of incredible tales of ravaged
innocence, plus a fair version of "I'll Change My Style"
one of those plaster mould songs that change the course
of rock history. When they recorded these tracks, they hadn't
reached the frenzy they did live in the last year
the title cut especially suffers in comparison plus the
sax (a detriment to all the early Half Jap records) is
way too prominenet. Still, had this monster come oit two
years ago Half Jap would be playing Meadowiands instead
of Maxwell's. (Patrick)
HALO OF FLIES "Rubber Room" 7 EP (Amphetamine Reptile) *86
The first in a series of sick limited-edition 4 5 's (so few
peopJe know how to do these things right these d a y s !), a numb
ered run of 200. I go for the flipsides, jagged slices of
melody and ripsaw guitar that clearly marks genius Tom
Hazelmyer as that most hallowed of individuals, A COLLECTOR.
My tribute, Tom. Don't ever reissue this. And let's get
Brad Bradberry and blend him into a rich blood sundae. A
Bradberry sundae. Ugh... (Patrick)
HALO OF FLIES Snapping Black Roscoe Bottles 7" EP (Amphet
amine Reptile) *86
More snazz graphics, wailing Jimi guitar, awesome wash of
anthemic stylings and wah-wah in the center of the mess,
DDT Fin Thirteen, yeah. Halo eats up the 6 0 's and spits
'em out in a slimy black mess. Kinda makes the Roman Gods
look like a bunch of halfbaked pork buns...not that
that'd take much. Up to the big 400 copies this time.
(Patrick)
HAPPINESS IS DRY PANTS comp 7" EP (Chemical Imbalance) '87
This comes with some magazine like most records these
days, and despite the normal mastering defects associated
with crammed seven-inch 33 RPM's and the presence of
a Kilslug song, it contains two pieces of worth. The Big
Black track, "Burning Indian Wife," refers to the glorious
Hindu custom of suttee, killing the wife by fire after
collecting the dowry, and in menace and texture easily
outstrips antying on the Headache EP...Moving Targets
track, actually mastered with some sympathy, overcomes
the pussy-ass Giordano production. One of their oldest
songs, it has now come out on three different releases.
I don't even want to discuss the idea of Yo La Tengo mur
dering a Fleetwood Mac song. Could definitely use a rich
LP bubbling over with new originals, though. (Nine months
later:) Oh, we've got one. (Patrick)
IIAPPY FLOWERS My Arm Is U p My Ass LP (Homestead) '07
Definitely the least amusing joke this side o' Jon Easily
askin' folks in public what kind of deodorant they use as
though he ever touched the stuff. Probably very similar
to being sexually harrassed by Pee Wee Herman. By the
way, did anyone else notice Gerard's Pee Wee-esque do at
the Maxwell's show, or was that just another of my
sonambulatin' wet dreams? Don't tell me, this is one bubble
that SioiAd never pop. (George)
HARD ONS Hard Ons LP (Big Time) '87
"Girl In The Sweater" is still a classic I guess, but if
anyone makes me listen to it in the next year I'll definitely
fall asleep. The remake of "Squat House" is kinda bitchin,
tho'... (George)
HARD ONS "White Folks Suck" 45 (Waterfront, Aus) '87
Absolutely the only record I've heard in the past two
years to recreate the power & fury of old-time Boston/DC
hardcore...not retread in the least, just spit in your
face,..best sleeve & packaging of the year, makes a great
gift. (Patrick) ***
HARD ONS "Busted" 45 (Waterfront, Aus) '88
Dated & ineffable mega-thrash, a sound such as COC aimed
for three years ago. California attitude, East Coast power,
and Australian vulgarity...it's make an intriguing period
piece if the sound weren't so fucking meaty...Of course,
artwork to die for. (Patrick)
HAREM SCAREM Pilgrim's Progress LP (Au Go Go, Aus) '86
Second LP from this feisty bunch of Aussies smells pretty
nice. Opening track has a blaring turn-off harmorylca
featured in many of the songs; singer's drippy overemotional
style does little to endear him to me; R&B-ish sludge
with no guts and nothing very distinctive. (Patrick)
67
 IVY GREEN
HEADLESS CHICKENS Headless Chickens LP (Flying Nun, NZ) '87
If the Buttholes weren't a bunch of potheads, they
might'Jstart looking to these guys for inspiration.
"Hedge Song" bursts in with bonkers noises and squawks
as sick as anything on Locust Abortion Technician: the
difference is that it's wired to a dull minor organ riff
and crashing drums. Instead of sounding like aimless
rambling, it instills, unease, tension. "You drown
yourself in needlepoint/And live inside a hedge." Stops,
starts, rocks. The record has corners that resemble
Jethro Tull's Passion Play, Dr. Mix covering Only Ones
songs. (Patrick)
HUDSON-STYRENE Hudson-Styrene LP (Mustard) '87
Reputedly recorded in a Harlem warehouse with a Russian
defector on violin..it 's Michael Hudson (Pagans) doing
spoken-word with legendary Cle jazz-or-punk (not both
at once) rockers Styrenes backing him with melodramatic
lounge music. The result is absurd & entertaining.
Hudson's a hotshit writer (see the Cleveland Confidential
seven-inch innersleeve), and here we learn all kinds of
ephemera in the cracks of Hudson's gripping tales: "Jesus
Christ wasn't crucified on a cross he was crucified
on a long stake, or pole." (Patrick)
HONOR ROLE The Pretty Song LP (Eskimo/No Core) *86
The ever-charming Bob Schick's vocal is strident and loud,
a torrent of opinion and exposition that flips people's
ear back. That's OK: never let vocals detract from the rest
of the music or you won't get anywhere. You might as
well listen to top-40 radio its only real problem is
that the vocal is the only thing you hear. On this
record, it's a grooved mishmash of Kreuzenish guitar
accents and precise choppy rhythms that anchor each
song so it rotates like a gyroscope. The music is sharp
and bitter, a finer upset brew of introspective drama
than I've heard since, well, the Undertones. Chew on it,
tough stuff. (Patrick)
HUMMINGBIRDS "Alimony" 45 (Phantom, Aus) '87
A joyous & unsour guitar/vocal triumph, blends of straw
berry and vanilla, "send correspondence & Ramones T-shirts
to..." The freshest pop record I've heard out of Australia
in eons, comes from Sydney and resembles neither the Gurus/
Sunnyboys or the Lime Spiders/New Christs. Dave Kleiler
didn't Ike it, so you know it isn't wishy-washy either.
(Patrick)
IGNITION "Sinker" 45 (Ignition) '87
Ex-members of Gray Matter, Iron Cross, Embrace and Faith
notably Alec MacKaye. Not-bad careening minor-key riffs
amidst dead production, and "there's no point in trying to
reach the unattainable." True*. (Patrick)
68
IGNITION "Anger Means" 45 (Ignition) '88
Way sharper than the first one, still that annoying Alec
MacKaye inflection, but the tinted vinyl, the sleeve
illo, and the stiff grey cardboard come together in a way
I can't forget. (Patrick)
IGUANAS Reptiles, Lust & Dogs LP (Midnight) '87
Band much-heralded by the likes of Reed Lappin for their
sleeveless 45, "Night Of The Iguana." On the album, Midnight's
first worthwhile release, since, uh, the wheel, Aussie (?)/
Stooges/Detroit thing surfaces more fully, muscled guitar
wailing over that unceasing mid-tempo beat..."Mad dog...uh-mad
dog." Some of the covers ("Hanky Panky," "Why Don't We Do It"
In The Road") are more useless than good, but the guitar's
st i n like bean paste or cream cheese dip, something thick and
tasty. Actually, the covers suck and the sleeve is ugly,
the sound is retread, I have less and less tolerance for this
kind of thing, especially when the packaging's such a
turn-off. (Patrick)
I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVY "Pirhana" 45 (Virgin, AuS) '87
The A-side's a parody of "Stepping Stone" that predictably
misses its mark; the B-side's a simlarly boring novelty
track. The muddy production quashes any possible redemtion
through guitar, and now we know how they got signed to
Virgin? the only question's how that bland EP caused
such a ruckus in Australia several years back. (Patrick)
IVY GREEN Moon Raised LP (Red Rhino, UK) '87
1987, and the word is "cheese." Ivy's songs remain as
sizzling as ever? the performance is restrained. Guitars
lowered, horns thinner & more produced, vocal delivery
precise & timed for humor. Falsetto lilt I could do without
where's the slinky false innocence Of "Art of Seduction?"
Still, these guys can do no wrong and I'll take this
batch of jaunty pop songs anytime over the pseudo-Cocteaus
gloom they were digging into on the last single. Sometimes
this cracks into place, and then we hear the unmitigated roar
of All On The Beat ("Caught" & "Maggie")? in any case these
melodies are unmatched, horns rule (Phil Collins . Chicago
are all-time faves around here)...but can they ever steal
back the disco floor they usurped from Chic? (Patrick)
BERT JANSCH/SHIRLEY COLLINS & ANNIE POWER "Blackbirds
Of Brittany"/"The Mariner's Farewell" 45 (Streetsong, UK)
A strange little poster-bag package some dolt at In Your
Ear put out for a buck. A relief organization apparently
leleased it as a protest against oil spills. The Janscli
side is superb, a jarring guitar line overlaid with
doleful reed an violin? Jansch's voice dull and passionate.
The other side is a hymn almost, the two female vocals
in close harmony.Shirley Collins was also Shirley Hutchings,
making this the only Pentangle/FC connection I kiow of. (Patrick)]
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PAUL KELLY & THE COLORED GIRLS Gossip LP (Mushroom, Aus) *86
Portions of this packed double album recently came out
on an A&M single album instant bomb, under the name "Paul
Kelly & The Messengers" changed under pressure from
moguls, labelmates, and Bob Dylan. Everyone from WHRB
to Jon Easley refects this firmly...only fans are Weiss
& Barber, a partnership hardly known for good taste
(Crowded House, Dumptruck, etc.) BUT THEY'RE ALL WRONG!
Commercial, overproduced mid-temp melodies that defy all the
ignorant attempts at dimissal/praise...1 1 1 swallow cheesy
keyboard licks, Elvis Costello arrangements, sax solos
and even a reggae song to reach songvriting and hooks
this gorgeous and cut..."Before The Old Man Died," "Before
Too Long," "Leaps & Bounds" and much more still unex
cavated. Who cares about the fucking delivery when the
material shines like a cheap aluminum whistle? You'll
hear the Hoodoo Gurus in the vocals, Soft Boys & Triffids
in the guitars, but all the times are new & catchy. Find the
Aussie version (tho' the A&M frisbee's in every buck bin
already)? forget you ever heard any other band, and
enjoy. (Patrick)
PAUL KELLY "To Her Door" (Mushroom, Aus) *87
Yup, he let me down pretty heavy. Completely meaningless
pop drivel, which is what I wanted? poorly-written yawn-
fest songs, which is what I didn't. (Patrick)
KING MISSILE Fluting On The Hump LP (Shimmydisc) '87
"Wuss" is hilariously funny ("I was into math, science
fiction and chess") but most of this sounds like a bunch
of NYC twits fluttering their piffles...if that sounds
attractive to you, try moving here, asshole. "Thanks to
Mykel Board and WNYU." (Patrick)
STEVE KILBEY Unearthed LP (Red Eye, Aus) *87
Issued here by some gullible major label, I think Arista.
I always like the Church's individual songs. The albums aren't
very strong? I prefer the singles, especially with tasty
Australian or French sleeves. If I ever have time to spare
and few new records, I might dig in and locate the two or
three spruce tracks I know are here. The problem with music
like the Church is that they achieve a nice sharp sound,
but the songs lack immediacy and don't excavate anything new.
(Patrick)
LAAZ ROCKIT Cities Gonna Burn LP (Target) '86
Horrible Shit. Yuck. Poo metal. (George)
LAAZ ROCKIT No Stranger To Danger LP (Target) t'85
1st song kool intro (GRT GTR!!) & CHORUS. Rest is boring,
kinda like picking yr nose when you only get waterv snot
no-booger metal!! (George)
LEGS DIAMOND Out On Bail LP (Target) '85
Part of the new "Soft-Metal" craze!! (George)
LAWSON SQUARE INFIRMARY Lawson Square Infirmary 12" EP
(Hot, Australia) *84
"These Performances were recorded live, in a couple of
takes, with the minimum of Technology and fuss." Stamped
indelibly with "buy" (the above quote, the title and the
picture of its namesake, a solid Victorian public-works
building), this is actually the Triffids on a very low-key
outing...the desperation and yawning spaces evoked by
that band occasionally come into view here...mostly the
instruments whine and twang in a set of brush-drum
country songs, mostly original, all heartbreaking and
inconsequential. "Figurine" and "Mercy" play with a
forlorn vocal and the kind of country guitar that seems
to sympathize and make fun of the tears at the same time.
Like the stage in getting drunk when you remember that
you're depressed and laugh at it. (Patrick)
LAST Confession LP (SST) '88
The sales dude at SST was amazed I'd ever heard of the bana.
I told colleagues at work that SST was coming out with a new
Last album. "Another Blast album?" they replied. I guess
you're not meant to know if you don't come from L.A. Weren't
these guys supposed to be the first ones to come up
with the idea of revving up 60's riffs, etc.? Those first few
singles, triumphs in the lo-fi category? Whatever, no one
outside of indomitable L.A.-psych fan Bryon Coley seems to
recognize this band as genius these days. A wailing, affected
vocal, endless creamy melodies that avoid the Weiss chromatic
scale, the Cosloy repetition, the Peretz/Rosenbloom cool.
A wad of song structures that build remorselessly far, more
deviations in three minutes than an entire High Tide album.
The music reassures, comforts, explodes. It's wonderful.
(Patrick)
LAZY COWGIRLS Tapping The Source LP (Bomp) '87
Everyone likes this, from Jesse to the Coz, so my first
thought was that it couldn't be too great. After all, the
first album was initially pleasant but had little staying-
power. Then I threw the new one on, and it wrenched my
brain from its socket: rich grinding guitar stuff resembling
the Hard-Ons with balls, Halo Of Flies with songwriting,
total punk rock with zero affect, wall of trash mind
destruction thats essential to life like a dripping roast.
Dont listen to it much, but that could be 'cause i t s
lost in my record collection. (Patrick)
LEMONHEADS Hate Your Friends LP (Taang!) '87
"Second Chance," "Nothing True," "Hate Your Friends," "Ever,"
and "Uh" are superb songs, immense hooks set among a welter
of distorted guitars the Cybermen sound. But the Lemonheads
have no faith in their songwriting or themselves. When
they up and sing their excellent tunes, they switch into
one of their idols: the vocal intonations of Paul Westerberg,
Jake Burns, Johnny Thunders. The derivative vocals reflect
their own lack of self-confidence, and anyone can sense it
in the music. It's painfully obvious at live shows. The
Lemonheads twist about awkwardly as they play. T h e y re
worrying so much about what they sound like that they can't
let go. No conviction, no energy, no interest. And these
guys are singing nonsense. Ben's never been to lonely places?
he mouths lyrics about love ("*heat without light, a sound
you can't hear") like the half-thought-out dribble they are.
Evan, scared of his own guitar, treats the whole thing
aS a joke (onstage comments, the track "Sneakyville --formerly
a homophobic rant called "Aids Brigade") cause he's
frightened that people might think he takes himself seriously.
Occasionally the Lemonheads forget theyre at a "rock club"
playing "punk rock." I've seen it happen. But until they
can lose themselves more consistently and completely, their
great songs will not come through? impending hookless Don
McClean workouts notwithstanding, their melodies remain
their only interesting assets. (Patrick)
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPERS Imploding LP (Waterfront, Australia) '87
Scores of people have told me that the Lighthouse Keepers
were boring, which just goes to show that people are dumb.
The cover attracted me first: a careful harsh halftone
& green script curling across a soft cardboard textured
like laid writing paper. I tremble every time I remove
the record. The stuff inside dates from 1983 and 1985.
Simple songs with female vocals, the strumming and harmonicas
have the same low-tech immediacy as thote four-track Tall
Dwarfs songs. They're in the same room with you. The music
shifts, first pastoral ballads, then throwaway snippets
about getting down. Silvery flashes of guitar echo across
the lovely vocal...like if you posterized the Dinosaur
record and made it less, uh, male. (Patrick)
LIME SPIDERS "Action Woman" 7" EP (Virgin) '87
Like I could get excited about a limited-edition item
on VIRGIN U S . ..particularly with this sound quality.
Yeah, I'd.feel a vague need if I didn't have it. (Patrick)
LOOK BLUE GO PURPLE LBGPEP2 12" EP (Flying Nun, NZ) '87
I hated their debut, FN's most boring record to date,
but here they introduce a bevy of flutes firmly rooted in
early Tull (those short cuts on Living In The Past)
that spiral around the expected mid-period Velvets groan,
high female harmonies sounding a lot fresher than most
of the "pop" foisted on me recently by well-meaning
RH clones...!'m not getting bored, everything else is
 ACCEPT THE C H A W S A N D TAKE C O M M U N IO N

THE 5 H A M E N JEAN RAUL SARTRE EXPERIENCE A WITNESS

DROP L W E SONGS SACRED C C W HEARTS
COMM 1 COMM 2 COMM 3
Licensed fro m M o ksh a U.K Licensed fro m F lying N u n N.Z. Skew ed, Licensed fro m Ron Johnson U.K. From
From A b e rd e e n , skin he a ds w h o p lo y b rill ru m b lin g q n d jo n g ly sounds fro m rh e idyllic M anchester. D o n 't soy The Foil b u t th is is a
psyche. In flu e n c e d b y Star Trek, Sex o n d Sog C hristchurch a re a. C o m p ila tio n o f J-PS.E.'s rw o su p e rla tive b o n d w it h o harsh a rra c k o n d
A loo. im po rts. AVAILABLE O N TAPE WITH TW O BONUS g ro rin g ecstasy. AVAILABLE ON TAPE WITH
AVAILABLE O N TAPE WITH TW O BONUS TRACKS. TRACKS. BONUS PEEL SESSION.

Communion Records is a division o f Tw ilight Records, Post O ffic e B ox 9 5 6 2 5 , A rla n ro G A 3 0 3 4 7 .

M a n u fa c tu re d o n d M a rke te d
b y F u n d a m e n ta l Music
Coming: Ron Johnson s Epiphony Samplers. Goblin Mix. New Shomen. . .

Stop Crying. It's Out.

0 "That L ove Thane"

FLP/FCX/FCD 1025
Only available on Frontier Records.

just getting worse, right? No, it's just a gradual plunge
into a well of complacency and this record is like seeing
a piece of blue sky at tbt top, maybe a way out. Maybe
not (Patrick)
LUBRICATED GOAT The Devil's Music LP (Black Eye, Aus) '87
One of several releases on a new Australian label with
a healthy obsession with nakedness. Some of this (like
the enjoyable "Hornraiser) is hard-guitar groove, instru
mental, sort of the Grandmaster Flash of grunge. On the
other hand, some of it delves into jazzy noodling with a
hand stifling its yawns; the affected vocal on "Jason The
Unpopular" will annoy the most hardened fan of annoying
music...essentially, a loser record you'll want to have
as little to do with as possible! (Patrick)
MAX BLOCK The Max Block 12" EP (Flying Nun, NZ) >87
The MB clearly listen to Toy Love (I realize most New
Zealand bands have), discernible in the pumping churn
that starts "Burn Baby Burn" as if anyone could imitate
Toy Love I actually don't like most of this, sounds
forced. Ex-Scorched Earth Policy, I just found out, and
on early listens the Max Block sounds like SEP outtakes.
(Patrick)
MASSAPPEAL "Fun Again" 45 (Waterfront, Aus) '88
SSD fans Massappeal fare less well than the Hard Ons in
the Australian thrash sweepstakes, admittedly a limited
field at best. Despite a nice midrangey rush that actually
recalls live DYS or Negative FX, they have the melodic
imagination and songwriting skills of brontosauri. Like
the Hard Ons, the single conies in a gorgeous sleeve that
may be worth the price. (Patrick)
MARK FOUR Live At The Beat Scene Club 7" EP (Bam-Caruso,
UK) '86
A weird item. This limited-to-500 promo/DJ-only single
contais three tracks from the reunited Mark Four, the early
60*s beat group who turned into the godlike Creation,
live in London in 1985. Wait, the music's good too. That's
odd 'cause most of the Mark Four tracks on that Eva
sampler from a few years back were pretty boring. The
first song is an airy original, "Hurt Me If You Will,"
a grittier Creation, descending, crashing. (Patrick)
M c Ca r t h y "Red Sleeping Beauty" 12" (Pink, UK) *87
I've been sound asleep for twenty years..." A hell of a lot
more m*Iancholy than the Pastels, less obvious melodically than
the Wedding Present', and the graphics are on par with both
no mean feat! A lovely drone to calm your drunken head some
night when its freezing out. (Patrick)
DIETER MEIER "Cry For Fame" 45 (Periphery Perfume, Swi
tzerland) 77
Yeah, if I were in Yello now I'd wish I could still make
music like this. A fucked-up steam train guitar assault
with mongoloid vocals, graphics to kill for? a record
you can't get. (Patrick)
METALLICA Garage Days Revisited 12" EP (Elektra) '87
Someone recently remarked on the mystery of metal bands
who adore early Killing Joke, and while it's tough to
imagine Lars Ulrich grooving to a black-clad Yaz, the riffage
is there. Revealed in the mighty excess of Metallica's
version, "The Wait" slams down a chunky skull-crushing rhythm;
you can envision certain hirsute fanzine editors squirming
72
in a giant wine press. OH, YES! "Last Caress" is mechanical
at best, but Metallica's sick funky groove does wonders
for "Green Hell." (Patrick)
A. MORE Flying Won't Help LP (Quango, UK) '79
A. More is Anthony Moore of Slapp Happy fame. So why is
Too Fun Too Huge covering this Continental art crap, you ask?
Visions of Recommended Records, unlistenable inside gorgeous
hand-painted sleeves, video/film presentations in lecture
halls and churches, fill your mind in evaporating mist?
Arggh! You can't fight back! Long shopping trips for triple-
LP comps with one rare Frith/Blegvad song, endless letters
to Switzerland, long discussions over dinner with Arthur
Nalis, a hell of experimental poetry and paintings, hideously
infinite possibilities in album packaging. Serves you right
for being so closed-minded. Actually, if you can tune
out the saxophones in Henry Cow's "Bittern Storm" or
"War," you'd be able-to discern a haunting melody that
owes more to Barrett or Thompson than Coltrane or McLaughlin.
Which brings us to this LP: on a tip from the ever-
friendly Scott Curran, I raced over to Venus to pick up a
$4.99 copy of this delectably-sleeved gem. The rich
paint strokes on the glossy cover drip off the close up of
the decaying daguerrotype in red, yellow or purple (depending
what color you get). Hurtling thoughtlessly into songwriting,
Moore seems to have forgotten all his experimental rhythms
and harshness. Maybe he didn't sit down and decide to
record a popalbum, but that's what emerged at the end.
Shaking off keyboard riffs and a fuzzbox vocal, "Judy
Get Down" chugs into a rich hook, a distillation of Another
Side Dylan, "Mathilda Mother" and the Small Faces. Sounds
and explosions crash all around. The hypnotic "Lucia" builds
a reverie about a mysterious woman who died in 1935, the
instrumentation growing louder and sleepier as the harmonies
chant in a minor key. "Time Less strange" puts a straight
guitar riff across a Chills melody line that grows like
a crystal plant. On the top Moore's cockney twang recalls
Graham Parker. Makes you drunk just to listen. (Patrick)
MOTORHEAD R o c k 1n 1Roll LP (Profile/GWR) '87
The production, which has been sliding steadily downhill
since Iron Fist, is soft weak. The performance isnt exactly
a powerhouse either. That leaves the songs, and Lemmy's
essentially been writing the same fast song since "Ace
Of Spades," and the same slow song since "Metropolis."
A parcel remakes of that familiar heavy bass & dirty
guitar lick; some of the dirges, like "Eat The Rich,"
a direct copy of "Killed By Death," plunder "Metropolis"
spin-offs._Philthy Phil's reintroduction to the band doesn't
improve things at all; if possible, he druns even more
lightly than his replacement did. You figure 1983's
Another Perfect Day, a superb exception to the recent xerox
Motorhead records, got such bad reviews and sold so poorly
that now Lemmy & crew stick to the stock formula. A
magnificent formula, and one which they invented, but
a formula nonetheless. Humor intrudes as a substitute
for energy instead of an adjunct, and they're starting
to sound pretty fucking bored. (Patrick)
MOTOROLA CLOUDBURST "Gerards Dick" 45 (Pope) '88
It's Squirrel Bait, an outtake from the album they recorded
for Upstart just before that unhappy company struck the
rocks. And yes, it's a pretty swell hardcore-influenced
phlegm-blast, notwithstanding the sour comments from dis
gruntled record executives. Not that I ever listen to it,
but then I never listened to the Squirrel Bait albums, and
I enjoyed those even more. (Patrick)
MOVE "Disturbance" 45 (Deram, UK) '66
Obviously one of the earliest, tho I'm too busy to check
the liner notes of The Best Of The Move. Good thing too
ever noticed how the liners on major-label comps omit
mention of releases on other labels? If you go by The Best
Of The Move, the Move never had a single called "Do Ya."
"Disturbance," the opposite end of their career, is
a horn-tootin' psych rave-up like the Open Mind or the Who
at that period. Rather gratuitous little FX interval at
the e n...I dislike that almost as much as; people who use
the word "monicker," metal fanzines, Elvis Hitler, and the
whole /Buttraq scene. I mean, could you assemble a better
list of depressing itemb? I feel like going and killing myself
right now. (Patrick)-
MY BLOODY VALENTINE The New Record By... 12" EP (Kaleido
scope Sound, UK) '87
More loud British pop touted by Geoff Weiss: a fruity melody
surrounded by walls of feedback guitar. But no matter how
loud the guitar or twee the melody, the band just doesn't
play hard, as pointed out last issue. Even in the unlikely
event of that "man" wailing out on the drums, the band just
isn't into it. How could anyone sing a line like "Your
chemistry is attractive to me" with any conviction? About
as satisfying as cotton candy: tasty at first, then light
and ultimately sickening. (Patrick)

NAKED RAYGUN "Vanilla Blue" 45 (Sandpounder) '87
The descending vocal chorus is obvious and the sound's
thin: "Vanilla Blue" lacks the gravity of All Rise, the
propulsion of Throb Throb. I wish the guitar had more
bass thrust, too. The song has a nostalgic air, menacing
Haggerty leads, but it's never as convincing as the
histrionics of, say, "Roller Queen." Marble wax is all
very well, but surely songwriting isn't so difficult
that the B-side had to be a novelty track? (Patrick)
NAKED REMAIN "Heir Of Pretension" 45 (Mr. Spaceman, Aus) '87
Way-hailed by Cambridge radio stations and Auburndale
record labels, the Naked Remain are on the ultra-hip
Mr. Spaceman, home of the Arctic Circles, Cosmic Psychos,
Moving Targets, Band 19, and the Blackjacks. A mass-
produced piece of fluff, a museum display article that
reproduces accurately the guitar violence of the New
Christs or the Hard Ons without an ounce of spirit or
any detail, from the drab sleeve to the mealy melodic core,
that stirs my interest in the least. (Patrick)
NECROS Tangled Up LP (Restless) '87
Lansing's faves come from out of nowhere to create a new-
sound that incorporates the emotional satisfaction of early
punk rock with the technological brutality of metal. The
only other music to create the same effect is Samhain's
November Coming Fire LP and the Bullet Lavolta (The New
Rulers Of Boston). Some of my friends tell me they get
the same kinda charge out of reading Ballard. but I
wouldn^t know. It's like the desperation I feel when I'm
stuck in a small town in some culturally-dosolato state
like Texas, and the only options for entertainment are
to get drunk or drive around corners real fast. Brings back
the intense thrill of being hefted into the air and floating
for an awesome second, certain I would die and feeling calm,
as another car threw the station wagon I was in through
a stop sign and into a fence. One of my tops for this
year with the exception of the hideous nine-minute track.
(George)
NEW CHRISTS "Dropping Like Flies" 2X45 (Citadel, Aus) '88
After a piece of fluff like "Black Hole," I hdd no partic
ular expectations...but "Dropping" is a fine slice of stripped
rockn'roll fury that sounds a lot more like Radios
Appear than anything Rob's done with this band. It's not
bad, just predictable, and you gotta be sick of that
sound by now. However, I'd rather listen to this than
the well-meaning but unmemorable Pontiac Bros... (Patrick)
NEW ORDER "True Faith" 12" (Factory, UK) '87
A direct rush to the brain, a hypnotic swirl that carries
y o u ^ f f on one of those New Order hooks that connect the
beat^some vital bodily functon: sex? dancing? Gentle
and more top-40 than ever (I heard this first in the
Hispanic deli on my corner), the Coz points out that it
scunds like the Pet Shop Boys. Who ever said that not
being gay meant you couldn't have any fun, hm? (Patrick)
NEW ORDER Substance dbl LP (Qwest) *87
A buzzline from "Ceremony" to "True Faith" via the singles.
I first heard New Order in a stack of 45s my friend Bill
bought way back. He got "Temptation," "Glittering Prize"
and "Sex Bomb?" I got Kraut's "Unemployed, Anti-Nowhere
League's "I Hate People" and the Negative Approach seven-
inch. I liked "Temptation" OK. New Order moves further
away yearly from that ice-cold post-Joy Division grey of
"Ceremony." The intervening singles, especially the
181-'82 passel, are often mechanical weaves with no
sentimentality; after the overpowering affection of "Blue
Monday," however, the band's been pouring out cliche-
sodden dance tunes choked with weepy melodies and hyper
bolic production and-I LIKE IT. (Patrick)
NEW ORDER "Touched By The Hand Of God" 45 (Factory) *88
Completely mammoth production, a song that really doesn't
resemble much else aside from the disco flourishes: if
you really let superficial shit like that govern your
taste in music you're beyond hope, go do yourself in now
before someone humiliates you irrevocably in a public
situation. New Order's a band who are legitimately huge and
don'-t even worry about it. That's not just rare, it'/
unique. It's audible in the music. (Patrick)
PAGANS "Don't Leave Me Alone" 45 (Bona Fide) '88
This band was just so fucking overrated, not least by
me. Yet another '70's outtake of dubious self-advertising
interest on the A-side; and ye gods! another live track
on the flip. Lavish poster sleeve got boring pretty fast.
How much more expensive packaging will we see to sell the
single to an ever more reluctant consumer? (Patrick)
PAGANS Live: The Godlike Power Of The Pagans LP (Treehouse) '87
The most exciting thing here is the slick cover, a beautiful
video shot (like the Residents' PAL TV LP or G . I . s
Fun alb) on the front in a Life magazine logo parody;
on the back, gurls lolling on bench with copies of
"Live" magazine each depicting a luscious Pagan. Inside,
the thin renditions of past hits (one new song) are even
less jolting that that tired show in Boston or the poor
mastering job on the Buried Alive comp. No question that
these guys were a vital rock'n'roll band once, but the
only place to hear it is the 1983 pink album, a masterpiece
of sludge and screaming. Treehouse plans to reissue that
as well, and Mark boasts that they'll "eliminate the keyboard
track." Swell. (Patrick)
PELL MELL For Years We Stood Clearly As One Thing CA (K ) '87
PELL MELL Bumper Crop LP (SST) '88
The entire SST LP, besides ripping off the Volcano Suns'
title, is subsumed on the K cassette...a rippling churn of
instrumental cuff-strum, a collection of vaguely flamenco
and Red Crayola guitar lines ollected with B-52's synths
and Tangerine Dream parallel fifths, but everything swirls
and falls with brisk precision. Each song clicks Into a
cool groove that evokes a different stream of memories,
some clear, some distorted, none sentimental. It's like
music from another universe. Last summer I walked around
lower Manhattan blasting For Years on a box amidst hard
stares fromthe street-monkeys; when I met David Kleiler
for River's Edge, he just couldn't take in that I was
CRANKIN' this band he saw open at the Rat back in the heyday
of new wave. One of the absolute best. (Patrick)
PENTANGLE Cruel Sister LP (Reprise) '70
Bert Jansch, John Renbourn, et. al., a family I've always
found a lot more impenetrable than FC...Extremely low-
73

SOCIAL
OISTORTIO
K y i Things sleeves, catching the Pretties in a late calm
iB t
P r is o n B o u n d
The New LP. Available Now.
Restless Records, 1750 E. Holly Ave.,
El Segundo, CA 90245-2428
STICKY
FINGERS
1 1 6 8 4 Ventura Blvd. # 7 7 2 , RECORDS
Studio City, CA 9 1 6 0 4
key femme/voc stuff on side one needs to be cranked fev
erishly to force it into the audible decibel range...
"When I Was In My Prime" is interminable a capella stuff;
"Lord Franklin" (like all "Lord" songs) has a light,
pretty melody & is worthwhile; the title track is a dirgey
shanty and the entirety of side two is taken up with
"Jack O'Rion" long, and tedious. (Patrick)
PERE UBU The Tenement Year LP (Fontana, UK) *88
Several songs that stand up to the rock-crushing/music-parodying
soul of The Modern Dance, brilliant lyrics ("The day recedes/
It slides across some boards/What a strange debris left on a
foreign shore"), a sleeve most record labels would die for.
What, then, is the problem? The music lacks assurance. It
sounds like a band that's only been playing for three
months. It sounds like a band with two drummers. It sounds
half-finished, pre-production, rough mix. The Tenement Year
is a very nice record: it has nearly everything I'd have
wanted in the plan for a Pere Ubu reunion album. But like
most reunions, it doesn't pull it off. That trembling
strangeness, the heart of Pere Ubu, is completely absent.
A bunch of people who were formerly connected to a great
band have pulled off a fair imitation. No more than that.
(Patrick)
POISON Look What The Cat Brought In (Enigma/Capitol) *87
"Talk Dirty To Me" affects me the way the Forgotten Rebels
did the first time I heard 'em bullshit teenage cumwad
fantasy stuck to a hooky, pouding riff; it's fucking undeniable.
So what if nothing else 4^nds out so well and they
look like Wimmen? If you don't like it, yr the same kind of
Asshole who'd write off the Sweet merely for being "moronic"
(which they certainly are). (George)
POP SIKE DAYDREAMS comp LP (Bam-Caruso, UK) '86
The glamor fades. None of the Rubble volumes are as
excellent as Snarl or Technicolor Dream. A ton of
2nd generation melodies from uninspired imiations who
spent more time thinking up names than writing songs
(Sons Of Fred), lots of one-shot novelty songs (Keith
West), psych experiments by name bands (Pretty Things),
74
and lesser tracks by greats (Wimple Winch). They're
still worthwhile for the cover art and liner notes,
but not one of these can begin to hold its own next to
Chocolate Soup For Diabetics. (Patrick)
PRETTY THINGS "The Good Mr. Square" 45 (Harvest, Netherlands) 'f>8
Another swell addition to my collection of Dutch Pretty
mood, high voices and harmonies sounding a lot like
Kaleidoscope (UK, bien-sur) until the chorus, a sudden
blending R&B jolt we expected ("She was tall, she was
hot," etc.) not that it speeds up or anything. (Patrick)
PRINCE Sign O' The Times LP (Paisley Park) '87
From his own new hip ("High on crack totin' a machine
gun") as social protest to A1 Green imitations, this
record delves deep. It's now always satisfying to hear,
but it is beautiful and unsettling. Even the concept
of "I could never take the place of yr man" is hard-
rockin'. The song "If I was Your Girlfriend" is the most
extreme idiosyncratic pop-song perfection since "Kiss."
"Kiss," in my mind, still tops the decade for single-song
singles, so start punchin' that in quick, Hose. Sure,
it's lame to think that the people "Boogyin'" at the
world are groovin' to this as we speak, but let's face
it, life would be a far grimmer prospect without it,
esp. side three. Maybe if his moral pretensions resulted
in some deeper insight, Prince would be even more
appealing (fuck nuclear war, everyone can be opposed to
htat, even Jimmy J.) but that'd really have the universal
groove feelin' that he produces. Whewee if you can find
it for less than $15.00 retail, get psyched. (George)
PSYCHEDELIC SNARL comp LP (Bam-Caruso, UK) '84
Constant references to the British psychedlic series Rubble
always bothered me, 'cause I never saw the records in
the racks. At last I realized that each volume has its own
name, and Corey Brennan actually introduced me to a couple
of them years ago with disparaging remarks. This, volume
1, aside from mind-bendingly intricate graphics (like all
Bam-Caruso stuff), and an informative, pleasing booklet,
contains several cuts of interest: the three Wimple Winch
songs (one covered by the Lime Spiders on the B-side of
"Out Of Control"), the awesomely-named Craig, bands like the
Mirror and Caleb whose songwriting is more important than
their ability to create a savage yowl, though they manage
not to lose any immediacy in the process. Some of this
stuff has appeared on other comps, but the mastering is
so clear and the package so attractive that you shouldn't
let it deter you. Always remember that Volume 2 of this
series (The 49-Minute Technicolor Dream) contains two
Kaleidoscope tracks. (Patrick)
QUEEN Sheer Heart Attack LP (Elektra) '74
It's easy to underestimate the power of Queen, especially
in this peak period of '73 to '74...the bold red letters
on the cover, SHEER HEART ATTACK...the careles s careering
riff of "Brighton Rock," an uplifting melody. The song
is ruined, of course, by a four-minute middle section of
guitar masturbation, but this s the 7 0 's, we ignore that
kind of thing. Then: "Killer Queen," Moet and Chandon, yesss,
7th grade, I'll go along with it. (Patrick)
SC IE N T IST S 1 9 8 8
RABBITS WEDDING In Truth About Road LP (Waterfront, Aus) *87
Despite the absurdly Homestead-like title, this record
drives a firm crease through the paper of my day. A
dark, wispy thing that recalls the less-majestic Triffids
songs or the second Great Unwashed record, the songs
lace elaborate construction, picking-acoustic guitars
and (distant) violins in a crossword that might take
a year to finish...pretty parts of "Next The River"
which gets lusher as it progresses from a raw beginning,
or the hypnotic "Nuns In The Vicarage" and "Four Kisses,"
are the most obviously likable tracts...but the rest
of it unsettling enough to send you out walking alone.
(Patrick)
RABBITS WEDDING "Coming Like Summer" 45 (Waterfront, Aus) '87
As you've probably noticed, I'm a sucker for songs about
seasons and RW outdo themselves...better even than their
other single or their EP, a fucking amazing shower of
lights and beads that flies everywhere and rakes it all
together at the big picnic...I'm not joking, this is
one of my favorites from last year, achingly pretty
and a sour candy taste in the mouth...People who think
it's "inferior to their earlier work" can go suck an
elephant's penis...hmm, wonder what that'd be like...
sore work on the mouth muscles, e h ! !! (Patrick)
RADIO BIRDMAN Burn My Eve 7" boot EP (US) 87
Yet more proof that great rarities are sometimes overrated.
None of the four tracks here carries nearly as much
punch as the LP songs. Birdman had clearly not found its
muse yet. And it seems that making it illegal and quin
tupling its price may be the resuscitation of the single.
(Patrick)
RAMONES "Merry Christmas" 45 (Beggars Banquet, UK) '87
$If I hear this again I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw
up. i listened to it twelve or thirteen times around Christ
mas and now I never want to hear it again! (Patrick)
REDD KROSS Dinner With Interview Disc (Big Time) '87
The remix of "Play My Song" comes on a luscious clear
red wax twelve-inch, and te cover is just the height
of Redd K's krazy-kool ( a clever illo of the band
on the front of a TV dinner, v. 7 0 s!), but on the
other hand, clear red wax ain't so hard to come by. The
cover's a lot nicer to look at than the hideous actual
LP, and t h e s o n g more palatable, but if you really believe
I'm gonna sit through a whole LP-length interview
recorded at 'BCN, you're fukt!! (George)
JOHN renbourn GROUP Live In America dbl LP (Flying Fish) '82
John Renbourn's fluid acoustic guitar rivals Richard
Thompson in its strumming chiaroscuro instrumentals...
no drummer here, Jacqui McShee has a lovely ethereal
decidedly non-FC voice, versions of "John Barleycorn" and
"Ye Mariners All" rougher, more Renaissance than FC's
takes. A lovely carpet w/ weaves dark & shimmery, a record
to listen to while swilling golden, lustrous beer. (Patrick)
REPTILES AT DAWN After The Plague dbl 45 (New Rose, France) '87
This band is entirely underivative. Gatefold single sleeves
absolve most bands of anything anyway, but "Repulsive
Glory" is certainly the most determined thing I've heard
all year , a stubborn plodding howl with lowered minor-key
guitars and occasional awkward horn bursts it's unstoppable.
"I turn my back on repulsive glory/As I sleaze through the
city of rock'n'roll." Yeah, you wouldn't be too surprised
if they actually were French, given their command of
the language. But its no Roman Gods or anything, more
Black Sabbath circa Sabbath Bloody Sabbath meets, uh, Iggy
if he weren't so fucking boring. (Patrick)
HENRY ROLLINS Drive By Shooting LP (Texas Hotel) '87
Can we talk about what a piece of shit this is? The
horrendous novelty title track could have scored big on
college radio given intelligent tracking the rest is
nightmarish. True, the "I was a fake suicide man! I was
a fake suicide man!" parts on side two did stir up a
lotta <chuckling around this house, but the over of
"We Will Rock You" ("I'm Going To Kill You") is perfectly
serious, and you know that Henry had no idea that three
bands covered "Ex-Lion Tamer" before he decided to kill
the song for good. (Patrick)
ROVSVETT I Huvudrollerna 45 (Punish, Sweden) '87
Thuggish music of a kind I though long-vanished...much
gruff snarling punctuated by shouts of "Hai!" and rumbling,
barely-audiblo basslines, if you wore big fan of Huvud
Tvatt or even early early Appendix, you might enjoy
these earnest Swedes. "This record is dedicated to
Poison Idea," it says on the lyric sheet. It's like
another world. (Patrick)
RUTS Live & Loud LP (Link, UK) *87
Another lo-fi live Ruts album? Yup, the third in a year.
Ain't a single song here's a ptach on the original
unless you view "covers" of "Blue Suede Shoes" and "Love
Song" as interesting nostalgia, just like forgetting to
wipe your ass. Everything's coated in a thick gloss of
tape hiss that highlights both the total lack of high
end and the little crackles produced by the shoddy
innersleeve. In fact, listening to this is very similar
to standing in a parking lot next to the club where
the Ruts were playing. Total cheese where this band is
concerned: collectors' prices on former cut-outs and
the dirae-a-dozen singles, three sleazy live records,
and Dag Nasty covering "Staring At The Rude Boys." Ugh. (Patrick)
THE SCENE IS NOW Total Jive LP (Lost/Twin/Tone) '86
Not as surefooted as the Maimone/Rigby-driven set I saw
last spring; still pretty swell. Little chunks of bitter melody
set among sqawking saxes, jazz rhythms.- and ceaseless organ
whine. Like if you simmered Richard Dyer-Bennett and Glenn
Tillbrook. with plenty of hot sauce: "Life is like a body
with no bones." On the other hand, calling this "hard
to take" is fairly charitable. And if you like Mofungo,
this is nowhere near as "rock," so forget those preconceptios.
You'll have to get crazy baby, and lay it on the line, to
dig the Scene. Scat! (Patrick)
SEARCHING IN THE WILDERNESS comp LP (Muziek Express) '87
I don't keep up with 6 0 's comps anymore duplication of
tracks, countless covers of the same songs, and decline
in quality have turned me off. Often I'll enjoy four or five
songs a comp, but my poor memory can't deal with recalling
which tracks, which volume, of the infinite similar sequences.
Tapes are obviously ideal, but worst of all I'm sick of
hearing the same three chords from one-single American
teen bands '64-'66. BAD & OBSCURE just doesn't qualify
for inclusion on a comp. European samplers are more
interesting & varied, but they usually focus on the later,
psych stuff. Rawness is not the quotient, and Vhat I
wanted to hear are Brit kids who found ways to imitate
their idols the Birds, Nashville Teens et. al. in different
ways than all those Texans. This superb record compiles
|em. Early projects with Jimmy Page & Steve Howe are
interesting, but not the best; neither is the bonus
Muswell Ravens (Kinks) cut...Tops are Dutch mods the
Red Squares and the deranged Alan Pound Get Rich, which
features a rhythm guitar tracks approaching early
Slaughter Joe proportions (total midrange), or A Passing
Fancy, who contradict their fruity name with brutal
firepower...but there's not a single bad choice. Informed
liner nots, photos, repros of pic sleeves; an excellent
gift, so scarf some up now. (Patrick)
SISTER RAY "Survivors" 45 (Sad) '88
Amazing minor-chord fest, way more original than that
(still-great) album, little Velvets influence that I
can see...searching for influences is a complete waste
of time anyway, something that Chris Stigiiano would
do. I'm no Chris Stigiiano; I listen to music, not
history...this is like when you have that dream after
you called in sick and then went back to sleep tht you
woke up ready to go to work anyway, but YOU COULDNT GET
OUT OF THE HOUSE, It's that kind of aura of meaningless
hopelessness. Pretty rare to hear it so perfectly
articulated in a song. (Patrick)
SISTER RAY "Survivors" 7" EP (Sad) '3T
Three humming ditties that blow away the Semaphore album.
"Survivors" rattles along, antique-shop fuzztone in a minor
key. "Your Every Word" takes a little while to kick into
a savage Family/Rare Earth riff, and "Black" is a live
guitar fest. While fakes like Dinosaur get touted by every
closet Meat Puppets fan around, Sister Ray plugs away
with poorly-distributed singles in crappy sleeves. It's
pretty awesome, and no, it doesn't s o m d like "hamburger
punk," Chris Stigiiano. You just haven't thought about it
enough. (Patrick)
SKULLDUGGERY comp cassette (Skillduggery) '88
Four-songer compiled by the Steve-^rickson of the Midwest,
a seventeen-year-old named Matthew Dudley who adores the
Dead Milkmen, surprisingly contains two of the essential
musical moments of 1988 so far.. Boiled In Lead, the Fairport
of punk rock, captured in the grinding power of their
live show, Jesus I wish these guys would play out here
again. Brit-folk pushed down into the gutter: Byron was
quite wrong 'cause BiL don't resemble the commercial
slickery of Steeleye Span in the slightest. Breaking
Circus, the finest live band on the planet right now,
deliver a breathtaking gut-thud that takes your ear and
pounds it right to the floor in the heat of grandeur. You
wonder if any of those longhairs at SST have ever imagined
anything this REAL and IMMEDIATE in their sun-drenched
Southern Californian "lives"... (Patrick)
75

SMITHS World Won't Listen LP (Rough Trade, UK) *87
The Smiths. Contempt from everyone I know. Fuck 'em. I
always knew I liked their graphics way too much, plus me
& Geoff Weiss dug that first single, "What Difference
Does It Make," way back when. Useta think that Johnny Harr
wrote good songs and Morrissey ruined them. Thing is,
I always saw the videos and it was Morrissey's looks that
turned me off...here I love the soft Mexican insinuation
of the guitars ('^Ask") and the sentiments "The music they
constantly play says nothing to me about my life..." ("Panic").
Sure, they're a bunch of effeminate Brits, but after
sitting in a room with George & Curtis & Rico Petroleum
watching the video for "Panic" and hearing the polite
chitchat (MDat fucken faggot...dey should all be exterminated
...get off the stage, queeah") I could easily deal with
some effeminacy...yeah, Morrissey's trying to do what
Martin Phillips does, but he's not intelligent or warm
hearted enough to pull it off. Still, these songs sit
in my brain like cold chunks of Dinty Moore Beef Stew.
Not much does that. (Patrick)
SNEAKY FEELINGS Sentimental Education LP (Flying Nun, NZ) '87
Last ish Patrick told you to "look forward to the LP." I
hope you ignored his advice, cuz this is only slightly
more exciting than Dumptruck. Overused melodies and
overproduction are fine only as very quiet background
music, otherwise will be highly boredom-inducing.
(George)
SONIC SOUNDS #1 comp 7" EP (Sounds, UK) '87
How boring is Crazyhead? How not crazy are they? A tired
mass of midrange guitars that just longs to be Examplehead.
How dead is Pop Will Eat Itself? How much do I regret
my praise of them last issue? What is a "grebo?" Why do I
own this self-fossilised artifact of the British Music
Papers c. 1987? (Patrick)
SONIC SOUNDS #3 comp 7" EP (Sounds, UK) '87
A typically catholic British-weekly combination: Happy
Mondays (derivative Factory), Head (band of the week),
Stump (Ron Johnson pounding), and the Triffids. What
happened to the Triffids? They left Western Australia,
a grave mistake for a band with such a strong sense of place,
TALL DWARFS (Flying Nun)
76
signed to Island, toned it down. McComb's histrionic vocals
no longer signify despair, a cry in the void, but loud filler,
deliberate self-consciousness to obscure the half-hearted
songwriting. Only the mournful introductory guitar lick
smells of the Triffids' old command. (Patrick)
SONIC YOUTH Sister LP (SST) '87
Relaxing record. Sounds like a New York version of the
Beatles (who I love). This record seems to get an enormous
negative reaction out of old SY fans, who are probably
the single worst class of people on this planet. Other
than that, it is a grungy & melodic dip into hard-rockin'
that only occasionally screeches. I like to listen to it
while going to sleep. Specially fab is "Catholic Block!!"
Wotta Gentle Giant!! (George)
SONIC YOUTH "Master Dik" 12" EP (SST) '88
The latest bit from Thurston "Wiggly-Wiggly" Moore. (Patrick)
SONIC YOUTH Master Dik 12" EP (SST) '88
Today we find our fine Manhattan heroes a tad confused.
Unbeknownst to them, hour-long botween-song "segments"
labeled A-E went out with the prog revival. (That one
headed Beast decayed with the "raging success" of the Phantom
Tollbooth tour.) Really stupid "Humor" went out with the
simlarly raging "success" of Steve Martin's little libro
Cruel Shoes. Poor Assholes. It's not that life is inherently
stupid or annoying; Sonic Youth do a good job proving that
rock and roll is, however. (George)
SPINES Idiot Sun LP (Flying Nun, New Zealand) '87
No Dunedin/Christchurch twisted pop/organ melodies here;
this Wellington band (who spawned Caroline of the Chills)
are stern and structured in an almost new-wave kinda way.
But the tracks snap into place and groove, a Television
sense of song permeating the stripped-back guitars and
stingy hooks. You'd think the affected vocals & sax might
put me off, but no, not at all; they blend into the harsh
stew like a whack on the shoulder. (Patrick)
STEPPES Drop Of The Creature LP (Voxx) '87
From Mystic to Voxx must be the most unsettling move for
a band...the press release states "the Steppes are psych-
edelically mining the folk roots of their native Ireland"
which is enough to make anyone put the record back, but
it didn't prepare me for the tired psych guitar licks
here...vocals wailing in wholly unconvincing Kaleidoscope
style, "look through my glasses, the world's like molasses."
Wrong, buddy, your music's like molasses. A record to
listen to while slowly, strangling to death. (Patrick)
STRANGLERS Early Demos 7" EP (Portuguese boot) '87
Extremely crisp guitar-dominated versions of "Grip" and
"Bitch" plus a song called "Buddies" I'm too lazy to look
up. It's impossible to imagine Mike Ehlers or Art Black
tossin' their shaggy locks to this, which doubles.its value
in this lice-free home. (Patrick)
NIKKI SUDDEN & ROWLAND S. HOWARD Kiss You Kidnapped Charabanc
(Relativity/Creation) '87
I haven't successfully listened to this whole thing yet.
There's a strong seductive atmosphere thing goin' on,
but there's a far greater Irritating Bullshit thing. The
Jacobites "revival" is goin' strong in room 4, Connie
and me takin' turns slappin' on the Nikki items one after
another, but we were both quite relieved when the first
person we saw after listening to this one offered 5
bux for it. I really wish the Birthday Party had never
fuckin' happened. (George)
DONNA SUMMER Greatest Hits Vol. 2 LP (RSO)
Every song on this album segues right into the next one,
so you never have to let your feet stop for a second.
When the sassy tooting of "Bad Girls" slips into the
sublime "Dim All The Slights," it's sheer disco transcendence.
"MacArthur Park" (by "J.L. Webb"), a strange tale of a
cake left in the rain, is compelling. What's more, one of the
songs was written and recorded for the motion picture "Foxes."
Well worth your attention. (Ivan Krcilkamp)
TELEVISION "Poor Circulation" boot 7" EP (UK) '88
And poor quality. And do you really want to hear the 1984
Tom Verlaine .cover versions on the flip? This bootleg-
seven- inch tling has really gotten out of hand. (Patrick)
13th FLOOR ELEVATORS. Elevator Tracks LP (Texas Archive) '87
Another one of those bands a lot of smart people worship.
They never done too much for me. (Both the smart people and
the 13th Floor Elevators.) No, Roky E. neither. So, this
collection^of live tracks plus unreleased acetate doesnt
exactly stir my batter. What the fuck are you looking for,
anyhow? (Patrick)
MAYO THOMPSON Corky's Debt To His Father LP (Glass, UK) '87
Mayonnaise mucking around in Texas in 1970. This is a lonely
album that occasionally bears a strange resemblance to
Jandek...mostly very bare recordings, Mayo crooning and
wailing with various different bands providing blues or
country back-up. It's toned-down, furtive, a guy fucking
around with no idea that his tapes would be released in
England seventeen years later. (Patrick)
THUG "Fuck Your Dad" 45 (Black Eye, Aus) '87
By far the most successful Black Eye record, a fucked-
up shriek rape that stuffs the B. Surfers into the munchy
facility where they belong. Truly outrageous guitar blurt
that hides behind one of those pegboard walls only to
sqiirt out at you from the little holes...these guys dont
hate 'cause they don't have minds; a trip through a blood
tunnel dripping mucus and pus, and it only lasts a minute.
(Patrick)
THUG Mechanical Ape/Proud Idiots' Parade LP (Black Eye, Aus)
On the other hand, a Thug LP might be more than anyone
could take. The stunning purple & yellow sleeve looks
like Jad Fair if he was composed of mindless evil. The
music sounds like the Tall Dwarfs minus the melody.
It achieves a certain retarded appeal, like those cuts
on the Swell Maps double album you always forget are there,
blaring out of the speakers when you're waiting to hear
a song you like. (Patrick)
TOY LOVE Toy Love LP (WEA, New Zealand) '80
I t s so rare that you find an old album tht you love
immediately. I expected to like this, having heard the
celebrated "Squeeze" single and that track on the Waves
comp, but the rush of close-chopped melody and guitar/
keyboard/vocal chant was beyond my ken, like the lost
Beatles album between Revolver and Sgt. Pepper. Every
song splices a thick wad of melodies in among intricate
whirring guitar and devices like violins and machine
noises. The structure leaps and changes without warning,
the style careens into country motifs and then dabbles
in Move riffs; the lyrics are fresh "I'm just a hunk
of cold, cold meat to you" sung with utter conviction
all this barely lends an idea of the spell going on here.
Like if Tom Verlaine'had more depth, or if someone
you know had one of those art-deco elevator frames from the
Empire State Building installed in his bedroom do you
see what I mean? (Patrick)
TREES On The Shore LP (Decal, UK) 87
1970 Brit psych: another record of legendary rarity reissued.
What a waste. Far superior to the other, more famous LP,
On The Shore is heavily medieval, thickly folkish sound.
Guitars & organ pump like '67 Beatles or "Arnold Layne,"
but the songs lean toward Fairport. Celia Humphries sings
something like Sandy Denny. The psych-folk thing's fairly
effective. Not as astute as Kaleidoscope/Forest/Dr. Sfcangely
Strange, not to mention the first Steeleye Span LP which
this often rips off; a little weirder than Pentangle et.
al. Only problem: the songwriting's a lot less interesting
than any of those bands. Magnificent sleeve, though. (Patrick)
TREES Garden Of Jane Delawnev LP (Decal, UK) '87
Much rawer and less rock than On The Shore. X may have
misjudged this record. The Italian Ram boot I initially
bought somehow emphasized the shrill vocals, and Celia,
even more so than on the other record, comes off as a strident
Sandy Denny imitation singing fey Kaleidoscope lyrics,
it can be hard to deal with at times. On the other hand,
"Nothing Special" and the title track go all over the
place, sharp guitar diddlings and cropped melodies. The
Elizabethan title is misleading; I guess bands from the
late 60's didn't have their history too straight. (Patrick)
TRIFFIDS Love In Bright Landscapes LP (Megadisc, Nether
lands) '86
A brilliantly-sequenced Dutch compilation album, partic
ularly the opening triple-whammy of "You Don't Miss Your
Water," "Red Pony" and "Raining Pleasure." "Water"'s
slightly dramatized country licks, echoing drums, and
smoky melodies- fade away with scarcely a second's pause be
fore the grim strings of "Red Pony" slide in, menacing:
"Red l^ony, it's a gift from me to you/Ride it well my
love..." David McComb's despairing vocal contradicts
the pretty image; this is drunken squalor: "Next to
you my love, all colors, turn, to black," those violins
scraping all over the place, a movie theme middle section.
all dusty plains and dirt roads; the last verse, "Blind
pony, it is a gift from me to you," and darkness. Instantly
the shimmering soft guitar/violin of "Raining Pleasure"
takes over, Jill Birt's detached, Denny-like voice a
reply to the man in "Red Pony:" "In your arms/It's
raining pleasure," the sexual overtone drenched in sin
and evil." The droning violin continues softly in the
background; Birt's vocal, childlike, emotionless: "Hasn't
rained for fifteen years/Been three weeks I can't get
through." (Patrick)
TRIFFIDS In The Pines L? (Hot, Aus) '86
No oilier LP doir.cnstrates the Triffids' sense of space so
clearly. They recorded this album in a shed hunciods of
miles in the interior of Western Australia, and it fills
with emptiness, loneliness ("Suntrapper"), melancholy
("In The Pines"), unrequited love ("Do You Want Me Near
You^*), drunken catatonia ("Once A Day"). The sound is
stripped; surely David McCombs voice sounds like that
just echoing against the tin walls of the shack, floating
out over the wilderness. A lovely and pretty frightening
record. (Patrick)
'87
TRIFFIDS Peel Sessions 12" EP (Strange Fruit, UK) '87
Three songs f join the maligned Born Sandy Devotional LP
And you know what away from that overproduced pomposity
the songs sound bright and clear, particularly the rich
"Sha-la, sha-la-la-la" above the bare bass and keyboards
of "Life Of Crime." Enormous,-the Triffids at their best;
this band had a compelling emptiness and mystery that
passes a lot of people by. (Patrick)
TRIFFIDS "Bury Me Deep In Love" 12" EP (Island, UK) '87
The A-side is strangled by mammoth production and lacklustre
performance: you can feel the crisp greenbacks crackling in
David McComb's fingers. What a surprise that the B-side,
"Baby Can I Walk You Home," is a simple lighthearted guitar
song like the early singles. (Patrick)
TRIPOD JIMMIE Long Walk Off A Short Pier LP (Do Speak) '82
Tripod's debut, recorded live on the shores of Lake Erie
shortly after Ubu's breakup...Tom Herman's guitar clanks
and twangs, faint reggae tinge audible as always. Question:
do all Ubu offshoots have to sound like Dave Thomas is
still singing?-Clackity-whackity. Not really as good as
a lot of people claim. Maybe it's unfair to review it
sex years late, but I don't really think so. If the record
doesn't stand up then OK, and I can think of fifty others
I'd rather hear. (Patrick)
MOE TUCKER Moeiadkatebarrv 12" EP (50,000,000,000,000,000
Watts) '87
Moe's live sets have a few great moments and a lot of filler:
long covers of "Baby What You Want Me To Do" and some
Downliner Sect song, unsure endings. Actually, this record,
like the show, is a little Moe Tucker and lot Jad Fair.
That's OK 'cause J a ds hot, and the Velvets cover here,
"Guess I'm Falling In Love" and also "Why Don't You Smile
Now" work fine given his fresh vocal treatment...Moe's
wistful backup her main presence. Her drumming with the
Velvets drew attention through its unselfconsciouness,
inept drone that sank into the background and lent the whole
a hypnotic roar. Live her charming demeanour also adds to
the weirdness; on record it's hard to remember you're not
listening to some Half Japanese offshoot. Again, however, no
one else could create that pattering beat in "Hey Mr. Rain."
A swell record, glad it's an EP, wish Penn Jillette's presence
were toned down. He's sure bought up the whole Jad Fair/
Velvets industry and I don't want to hear about it. (Patrick)
TWINK "Apocalyptic" 45 (Twink, UK) '87
Twink of the Pink Fairies with Elton Motello, the man
responsible for the guitar sound on "Pogo Pogo,
Lightning Records 1978 for Chrissake, in a limited numbered
autographed edition of 1000. (This record, that is.)
And it sounds like it's from 1978. Need I say more. (Patrick)
TYRNARAOUND Color Your Mind 12" EP (Cleopatra, Aus) '87
Puke! I can't believe I actually spent money on this.
Despite my (declining) tolerance for imitations of worth
while music, this record could only disgust even the
most committed early Floyd fan why, they even reproduce
Rick Wright's purposeless keyboard noodling not-for-note.
77
Anil don't b'lieve the members actually have names
like "Gavin Gray." and "Bo." Patently cardboard. (Patrick)
UNDERTONES All Wrapped Up dbl LP (Ardecle, UK) M M
Of course, you gotta have all the singles. But I always
wondered what all the 'Tones B-sides'd sound like end-to-
end on an LP (as opposed to getting up every three minutes
to flip singles). It's blissful. Pound-pound-pound, triple
punch to the gut, anyone who puts down the Undertones has
got to be a total Nazi. Fucking dicks. Well they can go
bore themselves to death with Revolting Cocks, Young Fresh
Fellows or Mark Stweart, whatever turns them on. The Under
tones sum up the essence of great music: loud guitar,
total melody, fast beat, complete stupidity. Yeah! (Patrick)
UNREST Unrest LP (Teenbeat) '88
Nice "variety" here, from some stomachable psych-Cure
type B.S. to an insanely sicko VOMIT style attempt at
the anathema "21st Century Schizoid Man," not to mention
the mellotron putting 'em way high in Patrick's books,
and at the fade-out of the Prog Revival neck'n'neck w/
T-Booth!!
On the bright side, it's recorded like complete shit,
the guitar sounds musty and the singer could be shouting
from down the block...DC is still around, although it is
starting to embarrass us old fanz. (George)
VAMPIRE LOVERS "Buzzsaw Popstar" 45 (Vampire Lovers, Aus) '88
Yet another reissue of this tired Brisbane "classic."
New B-side's "Gothic School" and "Rubber Death" flail
away at a sort of late-45 Grave fake-horror motif.
Completely meaningless. (Patrick)
VARIOUS-Broken Dreams Of British Rock Vol. I LP (Line,
Germany) '84
Which is worse, modern American bands pretending to be
anguished and crazy like the Stooges, or bona-fide 60s
English bands acting fey and fruity? THE AMERICAN BANDS.
I'll take the fey Brits any day, especially when the songwriting's
as cool as Skip Bifferty's or the Syn, two of the outfits
on this volume...these bands all lasted later than corresponding
good music in America ('67-'71 stuff)...despite the avail
ability of certain tracte here (you own the nov-faroous
Fire track "My Father's Name Was Dad" and the awesome
Flies' "Stepping Stone" the definitive version on
Chocolate Soup For Diabetics Vol. I as well as certain
volumes of Bam-Caruso's Rubble series), this is such
a solid sequence and typically superb mastering job that
it's worth the $6.99...Anyway you gotta own the Nashville
Teens' masterwork, the rocketing bizarre "Ex Kay One LX"
and A1 Stewart's smooth and melodic "Turn Into Earth" yes,
the "Year Of The Cat" guy. People change (or else I better
go back and check out that A1 Stewart album). (Patrick)
VASELINES Son Of A Gun (53rd & 3rd, UK) '87
A gay boy and a straight girl, a post TVP's/Pastels/Beat H
jaunt thru impossibly light-hearted bitterness...hmm, what
does this remind me of? Besides the sun shining through the
bakery window at the end of the afternoon & the rough
cold wood of the park bench in late September? "Rory Rides
Me Raw" & "You Think You're a Man" are more typical excursions
into feedback-dom...this is so fucking great... (Patrick)
SUZANNE VEGA Solitude Standing LP (A&M) '87
Gotta admit, I can hear certain girls I grew up with in
the tone of her voice, and it doesn't make me want to hear
the record. But her voice is silken, dry, like a butterfly
on a pin; "Tom's Diner," "Luka" (don't say it I don't
listen to the radio), "Solitude Standing," all sound like
a lonely person trying to understand the problem. Sometimes
it recalls certain buildings I enjoy. (Patrick)
VELVET UNDERGROUND Praise Ye The Lord boot LP (US) '87
A band I've unfairly written off since I sold all their
records to finance a trip to Providence four years ago...
nofthat I disliked 'em or anything, or even that I was
sick of 'em after a couple summers of listening to nothing
but...just that I needed money & I knew I wasn't going to
listen to the records much anymore. This is my first actual
purchase since then, and it focuses on the late Velvets
I infinitely prefer... sounding almost like he's gonna drift
off into a sunset of not giving a shit in the early
78
evening/early morning, Lou Reed mumbles, "That's the story
of my life," and how pastoral is that careless tune.
Like the 3rd & much of the 4th LP, an unaffected passel
of well-recorded poorly-played songs of light and ease.
(Patrick)
VERBAL ASSAULT Latest fuckin' dumb record (Giant) '87
The prospect of listening to this AGAIN is too wretched,
so don't expect a note-by-note analysis. In the ranks of
the most useless records ever, except certain morons
(probably from Pennsylvania!) will buy it, and Sounds'll
give you $2.50 credit. (NOT that I tried to sell it,
"Steev!") Anyways...I do know a cute foreign chick who
"enjoyed" the performance these guys gave opening for
G.I. at CB's, but hey she's "foreign" so, maybe that
explains it. I don't care, I told her that in English
"Verbal Assault" means, "I'm retarded, will you please
suck me off?" (George)
WASTE SAUSAGE comp LP (Black Eye, Aus) '87
Yet another beautifully-packaged Black Eye product, this
one featuring a load of naked guys playing pool on the back
cover. In addition, the names of the bands and the pictures
wxthin (including one of a Goose) provide further incentive
to lay out reams of gorgeously crisp green dollar bills.
Within, however, the Bush Oysters toot unceasingly upon
their saxophones, Realfuckingidiots just sort of lie
around and occasionally bash at their instruments. Thug
entertain as usual with a minute of bloops and bleeps,
Grong Grong thrash in a metallic Alternative Tentacles
kind of way. Toe plucks at his plastic guitar and babbles
like a college student on his first "trip," Piirple Vulture
Shit, Box The Jesuit, Smack of Jellyfish, et. al. all seem
to be enjoying themselves pretty much. (Patrick)
WEDDING PRESENT George Best LP (Reception, UK) '87
I've been feeling foolish lately on those rare occasions
when I spend enough time thinking about music to realize
that I don't know shit about what's happening in England.
This LP, recommended by many as tops in the latest Brit,
does much to assuage those traumatic feelings. Hardly very
enjoyable, really. It punches you up a lot. The melodies
are sprightly and fun. But there is something calculated
about it. The vocals are Morrissey with the redeeming
touches of manliness and a little joyous self-irony. Still,
if you haven't been following the whole Creation/Glass/Pink
thing, it doesn't sound revelatory. Like a real height-of-
the-genre thing that doesn't really define a place for
itself. (George)
WEDDING PRESENT George Best LP (Reception, UK) *87
Oh, yes. A joyous introspective wallow of ringing guitars
and dour vocals: "I saw you holding hands with your new
friend" and "I think she left some time round ten/what was
the name again?" Nothing virtuoso or musicianly beyond
the songwriting and the gruff passion of the vocal. The
Smiths or the Jesus & Marychain would cringe at the awkward
experiences recounted here. These frustrated youth are a
lot more convincing than Dinosaur just because their problems
seem more real but that's as far as it goes. I enjoy this
record a lot, but it's easy to see the next one coming out
way too slick. Selling tens of thousands in England, so
maybe they do have a stab at success. (Patrick)
WEIRD CULTURE, WEIRD. CUSTOM LP (Jayrern,' New Zealand) '87
New Zealand college radio sampler thankfully includes
a large dose of the non-F. Nun stuff. Given the genre
you expect filler & it's here: the quasi-Mojo Nixon of
the Crawling Creeps, the facetious women's music of Putty
In Her Hand neither side is listenable all the
way through. But you expect that. Tasty chunks from standbys
the Puddle & the Jean-Paul Sartre Experience, and excellent
tracks by bands I'd iyever heard of like All Fall Down,
Three Leaning Men & especially Battling Strings, make
eventual purchase mandatory. C'mon, you gotta make tpaes,
and what's life if you can't tell your friends when they
inquire about a song, "Why, didn't you know? It's the
Jean-Paul Sartre Experience! Tucked away on a little
compilation that 's unfortunately unavailable these days..."
(Patrick)
WHEN COWS RULED THE EARTH cassette comp (Koon) '87
Delightful little Columbus comp w/ alternate Great Plains
& Scrawl takes scuzzier and more attractively sweet than
the vinyl polish...Gibson Bros, whine below a wall of lo-fi
lacquer; Dark Arts, hmmm, a little COCTEAU-ish for my taste.
but there's nothing wrong with homo influences; Jim
Waneri, what is this# Craig Koon's brother's friend?!! Total
Tarkus keyboard gymnastics# superb# moving; RC Mob faceless
as usual; Painful Discharge are post Neg-Appr. minus the
fury# but that puts 'em somewhere above Unif. Choice# quite
enjoyable...As slipshod and friendly as Yet Another fanzine
...Craig "Coon" did a good job again# not hopelessly cool
as the Old Age cassettes# but little is...I'd move to Colum
bus if I thought it had anything going for it besides the
best music of any city in the US right now. (Patrick)
WHITE FLAG "Suicide Kin" 45 (Positive Force) '87
Yeah, it took extreme boredom to drive me to listen to
White Flag# but the A-side of this provided enough anthemic
pop-punk satisfaction to justify not only the effort of
throwing it on the stereo# but also playing the B-side,
which turned out to be as useless an acoustic Beatles
cover as anyone ever performed. What happened to the
days when these boys personally defined the term "experi-
core?" Major improvement# anyhow. (George)
WILD FLOWERS Dust (Big Time) '87
I thought it wuz funny when I first saw REM Is Air Supply
but I find very hateful that some bunch of English assholes
put out a record to prove the point. (George)
X "Dream Baby" 45 (White Label# Aus) '87
X "Dream Baby" 12" (White Label# Aus) '87
I guess the question on everyone's mind is, "Is this the
same White Label" that put cut those scarce Triffids singles
from 1982?" My theory is that it bears the same relationship
that the current Bad Trip# Incas & Mustard bear to their
original namesakes. The incomparable X pound out a character
istic thumping rendition of the Roy Orbison crooner# which
attains a wailing menace in their hands. The sleeve is
luscious. The B-side's a disposable new version of their
'78 single "I Don't Wanna Go Out;" the 12" contains a tire
some extended remix of the A-side# plus the bonus "Without
You#" a long lumbering thing that's hardly necessary. Go
for the seven-inch# of which you doubtless own too few
anyway. (Patrick)
YUNG WU Shore Leave LP (Twin/Tone/Coyote) '87
Country-flavored songs with zero pretension and little
emotional content. That's a good thing; I listen
to this all the time cause it soothes me so much# a cool
balm oyer the wounds and sores of the day. The record's
not trivial. It's a fllacy that music has to plumb
human depths. The calm statement of the title track#
"I wouldn't let that get to you/But that's just my point
of view/And you'll find other things to do/To occupy
your mind#" which would infuriate me in real life# only
blends into the blue-green cloth of the music. Spent
more time on my turntable than almost any other record
this fall. (Patrick)
TFTH
CHILLS Maxwell's 7/11/87
The Chills are magic onstage. So many songs# so many
of them undeniably great. What stays with me in particular
is "Ghosts," a shimmering# jangly ethereal pice that
builds up like blocks of ice# the twelve-string and drums
reaching peaks and cascading down, Martin Phillipps's
strained white face# leaning toward the microphone#
stricken; "Go# go# go# go# go!" The song sinks# guitar
harmonics and keyboards weaving a sort of waying bridge#
the drums come back# it climbs back again to that amazing
twelve-string riff# this is enoucji to die for. The next
song Martin gets even more intense; "I threw a party in my
heart/Nobody showed up/I nearly threw a life away hoping
that they'd drop BY!" desperation dripping off the stage.
Martin looked like he might burst his heart. What other
band in the world could play for two hours and not lose
concentration or focus for an instant? This is a slice
of the whole# twenty songs out of two hundred# a glimpse
of the kind of full honest music you could go to clubs
for for years and never hear...the joyous "Oncoming Day,"
"Night Of Chill Blue#" "Brave Words#" and many more I
can't remember. What a night. (Patrick)
DINOSAUR/B.A.L.L. Night Shift Cafe# Nagatauck# CT 12/12/87
The Night Shift is a slick club located in the. middle
of a mall# mirrored walls and a photo of Sade prominently
displayed. Funny to hear the TV Personalities "King &
Country playing# then# courtesy of two hip DJs from the
local radio station# when we walked in. I thought B.A.L.L.
were going to be some kind of SST instrumental band.
All the wigs and silly string kept me from listening
seriously I mostly remember really heavy Black Sabbath
riffs and a tall# jerky singer.
Dinosaur hit the stage with "In A Jar." the next
song was "Does It Float#" in which the whole slow-beg
inning leading to explosion dynamic was scrapped in favor
of a sustained explosion. Lou Barlow just screamed the
whole tie# no words discernible in the assault. The microphone
kept getting away frm him# and when he grabbed at it his
bass slipped off his shoulder. He let it fall and sort of
stepped on it as he yelled. Mascis was wailing away on
guitar the whole time# and the effect was pretty exhilarating.
Barlow looked like he was really in pain as he bent over#
swiping at his felled instrument.
The next song was a change of pace# the ballad "Severed
Lips.'' Mascis and Muph played for a while, waiting for Barlow
to join in# but lie seemed to be recuperating from his
performance# and so they eventually started the song without
him. A little way into it he noisily plugged in his bass
and sat down on the amp, plucking at the strings. He
looked like a petulant child, aimlessly hitting his instrument.
At first Barlow's stupor seemed like a conceptual companion
piece to his recent dadaist frenzy. I was sort of getting
into it# in the same way it seemed kind of cool when the
Replacements started fucking around. But these rationali
zations were soon overcome by the powerful annoyance of
the sounds Barlow was creating the bass's unpleasant
humming threatened to drown out the singing. Murph kept
looking sideways at him# and finally# at the line
"You're better than my pillow# 'cause you don't stain
so easily#" he leaned over and said something: Barlow
stood up and shouted.
Mascis broke off his singing at this# turned and
knocked a symbol at Barlow# who countered by running at
him. They met with a horrible clang# bass and guitar
striking like swords at midstege. Barlow raised two hands
in the ir and screamed something. Then they all ran offstage#
leaving the audience listening in shock to a buzz of left
over feedback. I love this band enough that this eruption
seemed apocalyptic and horrifying# a violation of the right
order of things. The two DJs ran around frantically# and some
guy behind us said, "Good thing we came. If they break
up# this show'll be in the history books."
They came back after a couple minutes# though.
Barlow apologized# saying that it was his fault and
" a r e a l l y harsh scene#" and they lit into "Mountain Man,"
which Barlow treated in similar style as "Does It Float."
His screaming was given an extra jolt of drama by the
possibility that he might break down completely at any
moment. They went through the rest of the set in fine
form# and even came back for an encore with an inept
rendition of "Minor Threat#" Mascis on drums# Barlow
on guitar# and Murph and some guy singing.(Ivan Kroilkamp)
UH ...W CLI...O KA Y I G U ESS I O W AVE
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C A B IN , A B A B E , A S T E R E O , A T A P E D E C K ,
A G U N , A F U C K IN L I C E N S E 1, A iT E E P ,
A N D A LITTLE & O F M O N E Y FO R FO O D ,
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BraveWords
T he d ebut LP, cassette
and com pact disc,
finally available in the U.S.
Featuring H ouse W ith A H u ndred Room s,
W et B lanket,
D an D estiny and the Silver D aw n and 9 more.
Produced by Mayo T hom pson.
Licensed from Flying Nun Records, New Zealand.
LP and cassette $7.98 postpaid.
CD $13.98 postpaid.
Manufactured and distributed by
Dutch East India Trading
PO Box 800, Rockville Centre, NY 11571-0800