We tend to pay a great deal of attention to our ability to speak.

From
Toastmasters to an unlimited amount of courses, workshops, and
training available we see that speaking, especially public speaking, is
a highly desirable, sought-after skill.

"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best
way to understand people is to listen to them."
- Ralph G. Nichols
Public speaking is considered to be an essential ability for those who
desire to advance their career in business and politics. But
considering all the noise concerning the importance of speaking,
listening is virtually ignored.

It can be argued that listening is every bit as important as speaking.

Everyone desires to be heard and understood, and we reward people
who provide us with those opportunities with our trust and loyalty.

Here are five ways to increase our listening abilities:

1. BE FULLY IN THE MOMENT

Have you ever been speaking to someone and found that they are
distracted by something and not really listening to you? You probably
thought this was annoying, frustrating, and disrespectful. At that point
you may have even become angry or shut the conversation down.

When someone is speaking it is vitally important to be fully present

and in the moment with them. If something else is on your mind, like a
call you have to make, or a text you need to answer, let them know,
do what you need to do, and when you are finished let them know you
are ready to listen.

When listening pay attention not only to the words but the tone of
voice, facial expressions, and body language. This will give you
information that will be as important as the words themselves.
2. PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES
Whether you agree with the speaker or even have an interest in what
they have to say, what they are saying is important to them. Imagine
yourself in their situation, wanting only to have someone listen to
them. When they are speaking, make an effort to think of where they
are coming from and why. Imagine what their life is like and what
struggles they might be facing. People will appreciate that you made
the effort to understand and really hear them.

3. PICK UP KEY POINTS AND LET THE SPEAKER

KNOW YOU DID
Many people have trouble focusing on what someone is saying
especially if they speak for longer than a minute or so. It is easy for
our attention to drift to something else that we might find more
interesting. If thats the case, try to pick up a few key points in the
conversation. After they finish talking, let them know that you heard
them by mentioning the key points you heard them say and ask them
to clarify anything that you did not understand. You will be forgiven for
not being able to follow the whole conversation if the person talking
believes that you made an honest effort.

4. PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING

Most people are thinking of how they are going to reply when
someone is talking. Instead of doing that, try to focus completely on
what the person is saying. Pretend that you will be tested on how
much of what they were saying you heard and understood. A good
exercise to practice is to sit down with a family member or a good
friend and practice simply giving feedback to them of what you heard
them say. You will notice that it gets much easier to focus on their
words when you arent worrying about how you will respond.
5. DEVELOP CURIOSITY, AN OPEN MIND, AND A
DESIRE FOR CONTINUOUS GROWTH
People who are naturally curious see conversations as learning
opportunities. They are always looking to discover or learn something
new and see everyone they talk to as having the potential to teach
them something. They are open to the idea that their own way of
seeing things may not be the only, or necessarily the best, way and
dont feel the need to always defend their own point of view or way of
seeing the world.

These people are continuously looking for new learning opportunities

and taking on new challenges. You will recognize these people as the
ones who are signing up for courses, volunteering, and trying new
experiences throughout their lives. For them, listening to others
becomes an easy and natural way to continue on their self-
development journey.

Listening:
1. YPES AND BARRIERS TO LISTENING
2. 2. Listening is a process of Receiving, Interpreting and reacting to a message received
from the Speaker. According to Management guru Tom Peters, Listening is an essential
management and leadership skill Listening cannot be done only by ears. One can listen
with their eyes, sense, mind, heart and imagination.Listening :
3. 3. Remembering Responding Analyzing and Evaluating Comprehending and
interpreting Focusing on the message Hearing Stages of the Listening Process
4. 4. Empathetic listening Critical listening Content listening Attentive listening
Evaluative listening Focused listening Appreciative Listening Superficial listening
Types of Listening
5. 5. The output in this type of listening is zero because the listener tends to ignore the
message, and is not able to concentrate on the theme, main points and supporting
details of the message. In this type of listening the listener has little awareness of the
content what is being said. Superficial Listening
6. 6. The output may be taking part in the entertainment process. The main purpose of
appreciative listening is to get enjoyment and pleasure. Appreciative listening
7. 7. This is the most common type of listening that we practice in non formal oral
communicative situations. It involves listening for specific information. Focused
Listening
8. 8. Thus the main purpose of evaluative listening is to evaluate the content of the oral
message to select appropriate information. The listener interprets and analysis what he
or she listens to in order to understand both the explicit as well as implicit meaning of the
 oral message . It involves evaluation of the oral message or commentary and
developing a line of thought. Evaluative Listening
9. 9. The listener pays attention to all parts of the message, that is , the central idea, main
points, supporting details, examples and illustrations. It is basically active and intelligent
listening in situations such as group discussions, meetings, job interviews and so on. It
demands the complete attention of the listener. Attentive Listening
10. 10. It doesnt matter that you agree or disagree, approve or disapprove-only that you
understand. You may ask questions, but basically information flows from the speaker to
you. It is to understand and retain the speakers message. Content Listening
11. 11. When the purpose is to accept or reject the message or to evaluate it critically. For
example: listening to a sales person before making a purchase involves critical listening.
Similarly, when you read a book with the objective of It is to understand and evaluate
the meaning of the speakers message on several levels. Critical Listening writing book
review.
12. 12. Empathetic Listening; When we listen to a distressed friend who wants to share his
feelings, we provide emotional and moral support in the form of Empathetic Listening.
When psychiatrists listen to their patients, their listening is classified as empathetic
listening.
13. 13. Barriers to Listening A barrier is anything that gets in the way of clear communication.
Below is a list of barriers.
14. 14. Physical barriers Physical Barriers consist of any sound that prevents a person from
being heard. Physical noise interferes with a speakers ability to send messages and with
an audiences ability to receive them. Examples: whispers, cheers, passing cars or
intercom interruptions.
15. 15. People related barriers: Physiological barriers. Physiological barriers arise when the
listener suffers from ill health, fatigue, sleeplessness, hearing problems and the like, It
may also arise due to the accent and pronunciation shortcomings of the speaker.
16. 16. Psychological barriers Psychological barriers cover the value system and the
behavioral aspects. Some examples where listening fails to be effective on account of
people related factors are as follows: The speaker speaks in a shrill voice that does not
reach the receiver. The speaker speaks very rapidly or with anaccent that is not clear.
17. 17. The receiver of the message does not consider the speaker to be well informed.
The receiver lets the mind wander rather than stay focused on the message. The
listener perceives the speaker to be lacking in depth or not having adequate authority.
18. 18. When the message is lengthy or illogical in sequencing, it becomes more painful to
retain the concentration. As a result listening becomes ineffective. It is difficult for the
brain to digest the overloaded message. Overload of message
19. 19. If the mind is closed for the other persons message, there will be no listening.
Listening requires open mind and heart free from negative emotions. Thinking that my
own ideas are more important than those of other persons or I am always right and the
other is wrong is the major stumbling block in the way of listening. Ego
20. 20. Perceptions Our perceptions are selective and limited. As a result we indulge in
selective listening-taking the desired part and leaving the undesired part of the
message. We do not listen what the other is saying but what we want to listen.
21. 21. Poor retention In dialogue, or two way oral communication, the sequence of thought
is essential for carrying on communication. To speak coherently one has to remember
the sequence of ideas. The structure of thought must be received and retained by the
listener to understand the arguments. The cues that signal the movement of thought from
one set of ideas to another must be retained by the listener to be able to grasp the full
sense of message discussed.
22. 22. Rules of Good listening The following are the ru Take notes Empathize with the
Speaker Be Patient Do not Pre-judge Do not Let your Mind Wander Remove
Distractions Stop thinking Stop talking les of good listening: