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Since we all have grown up in a society that confuses healthy love with “love”
addiction, many of us find it difficult to know whether our feelings are based on healthy
relationships, I offer the following comparison. For each item, write down whether you
tend toward A or B.
B. Addictive Love grows fast, as if by magic, like those children’s animals that
expand instantly when we add water.
7. A. Healthy Love thrives on time alone as well as time with our partner.
B. Addictive Love is frightened of being alone and afraid of being close.
10. A. Healthy Love is based on a deep knowing of ourselves and our lover.
B. Addictive Love is based on hiding from ourselves and falling in love with an ideal
“image” not a person.
11. A. Healthy Love encourages us to be ourselves, to be honest from the beginning with
who we are, including our faults.
B. Addictive Love encourages secrets. We want to look good and put on an
attractive mask.
13. A. Healthy Love creates a deeper sense of ourselves the longer we are together.
B. Addictive Love creates a loss of self the longer we are together.
20. A. Healthy Love teaches that we can only make ourselves happy.
B. Addictive Love expects the other person to make us happy and demands that we
try to make them happy.
Scoring:
9 or fewer A scores and 12 or more B Scores = You are definitely addicted to “love.”