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ISBN-13: 978-1546910428
ISBN-10: 1546910425
Monica Canales
Doreen Espinoza
Teresinka Pereira
Winston Flores
and the State, which are the executioners of the ruling class
desire.
Purple Moon
walking
barefoot
on
a lava desert
under
the light of a Purple Moon
seeking
the eyes of the blind
old
man who guided my childhood
through
the cavernous world of the lepers
my feet bled
water and salt
until
the desert became
a new ocean floor
Page 14
It Hurts to Feel
Doubt
I dont know
whether
to
keep drawing vain smiles
in the morning
as if last night
an ovum rain
would have fallen
on my umbilicus
or
build a rocket
with my bones and veins
and catapult my heart
into the sky
Page 15
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Liberation
when the brain liberates its self
from the gravitational force
of the impetuous senses
it will fly like the seagull in the sky
that guides the blue ship
that crosses the silent states
of the awareness of the world
Page 16
It Hurts to Feel
Resurrection
The rain that fell from Jupiter
washed the scars
of fear and pain
off my human flesh.
Page 17
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Prehistoric Bird
Tired of breathing this life,
like a fish swimming in sand,
I stopped at a cemetery
and put my head to rest
on a marble tomb.
Page 18
It Hurts to Feel
Last Prayer
To Lyle Mutschler
While walking on
a blue cloud,
my feet told me
forgotten stories
of my childhood.
My heart is murmuring
a new theory of the origin
of the universe.
Page 19
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Page 20
It Hurts to Feel
Survivor
I am a space sailor strayed
temporarily on Earth;
the only survivor of the love
of a mermaid and an archangel.
Page 21
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Hope
For each day that passes,
unconsciously, through
the mortal remains of the night,
I cut a piece of my body,
of water and calcium,
and plant it with the hope
that tomorrow the Earth
will engender umbilical cords
to reunite us with the stars.
Page 22
It Hurts to Feel
Strange Tongue
Last night, I heard the ocean
singing in my head
a song from my childhood.
When I awoke,
there were colored fishes
on my bed
and a ghost speaking to me
in a strange tongue.
Page 23
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Solitary Tree
My lips are drying from kissing
the passing reflection of your ovum
on the surface of the wind.
Page 24
It Hurts to Feel
Dolphin Woman
Im looking for a woman,
sincere and inventive,
like a blue dolphin,
who is not afraid
of receiving me in her uterus
and transforming the mammalian body
I inhabit mortally.
Page 25
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Equation
my brain and I
in the center
of this cosmic ring
Page 26
It Hurts to Feel
Transformation
If I could transform
my nebulous dreams
into ships with sails,
my lungs would fly
like paper airplanes
over the mind fields
of innocence and curiosity
where a boy plays
with his imaginary train.
Page 27
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Old people,
fear and hunger dripping
from their tongues,
eat the body and drink the blood
of a Messiah crucified by Rome.
Page 29
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Metallic Light
Exposed
to the living danger,
inhaling
the last molecule,
my eyes become water wells
where birds and clouds stop
to rest for a while.
Page 30
It Hurts to Feel
Gods Temple
Forgive the child
standing outside gods temple
begging for bread and mercy.
Page 31
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Urban Catacombs
The depressed night smells of wet asphalt
mixed with the waste of the liberty
of the consumers of political promises.
Page 32
It Hurts to Feel
Exorcism
Im flagellating my self
with ten penises
made of serpent skin
to exorcise the infant
demons out of my head.
Page 33
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Peregrine Bird
Of us,
the human mammals,
the only thing that remains is
a body of muscle,
bone, and water.
Page 34
It Hurts to Feel
Erratic Bullets
erratic bullets ignite the night
that calls the urban beasts
to battle and kill
the innocence of dreaming
Page 35
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Page 36
It Hurts to Feel
Cover my body
with honey and blood;
the spiders will do
the rest.
Page 37
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Twenty-one
For my daughter, Roxanna Gmez-Ubau
if my heart transformed
into a bone
I would fly away
with my lungs
through clouds
of acid flowers
instead
I'll fight to subdue the social intention
predesigned to repress
the arousal of desires
and the extreme manifestation
of the orgasmic realities
Page 38
It Hurts to Feel
Arrival
when I came to the U. S.
I was young
like a premature Indian sky
and the scent of Safeway Stores
turned me
on
Page 39
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Somnambulist
talking sedated
in my sleep
strange verbs
mother knew
the devil wouldn't come
walking barefoot
on
the oviparous skin of the night
towards the door
mother always held me
with her crucifix
before my head
fell
in
the void
Page 40
It Hurts to Feel
Blackout
last night
I felt
drops of barbituric acid
falling
from the sky
but I don't remember
if
I fell
asleep
or
went into a coma
Page 41
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
then
I will have the courage
to awake
with the eyes of my childhood
Page 42
It Hurts to Feel
In the beginning,
there was only a cloud
of Hydrogen and Helium.
Page 43
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
To Lorri Jackson
when I am inside
the pupilla of the night
I shed the old skin
and let my heart be
sacrificed
in the rituals of demons
I don't remember
if I was a child
my nervous system is a gallery
of dead emotional memories
Page 44
It Hurts to Feel
I am beyond redemption
pray for your own fears
Page 45
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
A New Idea
I turn off the light
to
penetrate the void
perception paralyzed
everything implodes
my eyes transform
into
black-holes
space-time dissolves
in
the dust that grows
on
my books
Page 46
It Hurts to Feel
Dream Formula
At night,
before starting to dream,
I peel off my skin
and pluck my eyeballs.
Page 47
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
when I awoke
the sky had liquefied
time had advanced
without my head
and my dream had not happened
yet
Page 48
It Hurts to Feel
Discovery
When the carnivorous desire burns out,
the heart explodes like a pomegranate,
and the wind blows
the ashes of death
on
the bed of torment and sweat,
where the sexual pleasure
has decayed.
When I thought
I was in love,
I did not know emotions
were made at the Vatican
and sold
by the Hallmark company.
Page 49
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
some
whispered ancient secrets
into my tympanums
others
preferred to kiss me
on my jugulars
Page 50
It Hurts to Feel
The Traveler
the traveler walks
alone
with his head
illuminated amongst the clouds
that populate his memories
of the past
behind him
with crowns of white light
on their heads
a choir of dead children
walks singing
arias of glory to the atom
and the eternity of the universe
Page 51
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
What I Am
I am an undulating
optical illusion
reflected
on
the surface of the water
in the well of emotions.
I am a sound
vibrating in the space
drawn by the wings
of a peregrine bird
flying without rest.
I am a cloud of veins
floating above my head,
absorbing
the dreams that cause
the effect that is my life.
Page 52
It Hurts to Feel
Page 53
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Alone
alone
inside my bubble
I hear my mind
chanting the incitation:
keep taking the risk
agitating the winds
of atheism and moral inconformity
don't prostrate before the idols
of resignation and convenience
subvert the resurrection
transcend the absurdity
of the sacraments
Page 54
It Hurts to Feel
Heavenly Father
when I am
less than the creature
that begs forgiveness
from his heavenly father
below the governments poverty line
and the statistics of war
that define the American way
Ill be free
wont feel
repentance or sorrow
Page 55
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Ritual
some
try to elevate prayers
like kites in the sky
others
bend their foreheads
and touch the pictures
of their patron saints
a few
signate quickly and murmur
their superstitious fears
when they see a crucifix
Page 56
It Hurts to Feel
Buried Alive
The past I keep
in
the bottom of my head,
cries
in the middle of the night,
horrifyingly,
like a boy
who was buried alive
with a crucifix
engraved
on his chest.
Page 57
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Buried Alive II
The dead I carry
in
my bone marrow
awake at midnight
to tell me stories
of the origin of my umbilicus
and the time
before my residence
in
the womb of silence.
Page 58
It Hurts to Feel
It Hurts to Feel
it hurts to feel life
like a light bulb palpitating
at the temporal end of all desires
Page 59
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Page 60
It Hurts to Feel
I am disappearing
Page 61
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Justice
if men bled
like women
before ejaculating
perhaps
the menstrual pain
would transform them
into forgiven angels
Page 62
It Hurts to Feel
Memory
when I was a boy
I had wings
Page 63
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Vision
I went
out
into the world of financial opportunities
naked
with my eyes dressed as pigeons
woman in an alley
extracting a hybrid from her uterus
black dog sniffing
licking her thighs
circling her
wildly
Page 65
Humberto Gmez Sequeira-HuGS
Reincarnation
This morning,
I awoke inside the uterus
of a dead woman.
Page 66
Introduction to This Life Isnt Mine
depressed mammalians
swallow
Gillette mixed with Gallo
A-bomb lobotomy
applied with precision
to
experimental genocide
Page 69
Bibliography
Page 70
Bibliography
Page 71
About the Author
1. Birth
My mother told me that she gave birth to me in the
room where she lived with my older brother, Franklin
Bartolom Gmez Sequeira, in the Santa Luca ghetto of the
City of Granada, Nicaragua, Central America. Her neighbor
gave her first aid until my maternal grandmother, Dolores
(Mama Lola) Lacayo de Sequeira, arrived and helped her
deliver me. At midday, I came out of her uterus yawning and
hungry. My Mama Lola severed my umbilical cord and buried
it in a hole in the Earth, without a marker, on March 12, 1949.
Page 73
About the Author
2. Memories
2.1 A Wild Plant
I grew up, accidentally, like a wild plant, in La Otra
Banda, a reduccin (reduction) that was built in Granada by the
Spanish Empire and the Catholic Empire to intern the
dispossessed survivors of their war of conquest and pillage
against the indigenous nations. It was part of the remains of
the encomienda and Indian reductions plan that the Spanish
Empires soldiers, encomenderos (trustees of land and native
slaves), and curas doctrineros (the catholic doctrinaire priests)
executed in Nicaragua. The reduced natives were the basis of
the Xalteva Church: A source of forced faith, labor, and
payment of tribute to a monarchy whose colonialist
descendants still live off the wealth that they inherited from the
genocide and the larceny that their ancestors committed
against the indigenous nations.
Page 74
About the Author
Page 75
About the Author
For us, the kids who were studying at the Padre Misieri
Elementary Schoolwhich was a neighbor of the train
stationthe train was like a giant horse with wheels that had
evolved in the imagination of humanity. It stimulated our joy
when we heard the sound of its whistle, and the roar of its
engine announcing its return from Corinto.
Page 76
About the Author
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About the Author
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About the Author
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About the Author
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About the Author
Page 87
About the Author
3. Education
Diplomas
Elementary School: Escuela Padre Misieri - Granada,
Nicaragua
High School: Colegio Salesiano San Juan Bosco - Granada,
Nicaragua
Industrial Clerk: Associated Colleges of California - Los
Angeles, California, U.S.
Professional Legal Assistant: American International Career
College - San Diego, California, U.S.
Exams Passed
Civil Service: City of Los Angeles Government - California,
U.S.
Notary Public: State of California Government - U.S.
Translator (from Spanish to English): Los Angeles City
College - Los Angeles, California, U.S.
Studies
Jurisprudence: Universidad Centroamericana (UCA) -
Managua, Nicaragua
English Language: Alemany Adult High School - San
Francisco, California, U.S.
Associate in Arts Degree: Los Angeles City College
Graphic Design: Los Angeles Trade Technical College - Los
Angeles, California, U.S.
Page 88
About the Author
Scholarships
High School: Colegio Salesiano San Juan Bosco
Associate in Arts: Los Angeles City College
Prizes
First Place: Catechism knowledge contest organized by the
Colonialist Catholic Church of Granada, Nicaragua.
Honor Roll: Colegio Salesiano San Juan Bosco
Deans Honor List: Los Angeles City College
Second Place: Speech contest organized by the English
Department of the Los Angeles City College
Student of the Month: American International Career
College - San Diego, California, U.S.
Page 89
About the Author
4. Literary Activity
Prizes
Excellence in Poetry Certificate awarded by Teresinka
Pereira, director of the International Society of Poetry at the
University of Colorado in Boulder, CO, U.S.
First Place in Poetry awarded by Lillian Walsh, editor of For
Poets Only, a poetry magazine published in Jackson Heights,
New York, U.S.
Edited Books
Venus Is Bleeding by Roxanna Gmez Sequeira
Please Dont Circumcise My Clitoris by Roxanna Gmez
Sequeira
Alice in Weirdland by Roxanna Gmez-Ubau
My Home Cooking by Marie Marn
El Salvador: The Betrayal of the Farabundo Mart National
Liberation Front (FMLN) (Spanish Edition) by Armando A.
Molina
On the Edge of Silence: My Journey on the Boulder by Rodolfo
Sotelo Jr.
Edited Magazines
Censored Poem, Red and Black, Class Struggle, Sacrifice the Common
Sense, Electronic Poetry, The Darwinian Primate, Politikos, and
Chemical World.
Page 90
About the Author
Contributions
LA Weekly - Los Angeles, California, U.S.
Free Venice Beachhead - Venice, California, U.S.
Page 91
About the Author
5. Work
Nicaragua
In Granada, HuGS worked as a seller of flowers and
popsicles, shoeshine boy, Lazarillo or a boy who guides a
blind person, Algebra tutor, newspaper reporter (El Mundo
or The World), radio announcer (Radio Sport and Radio
Granada), and factory worker.
United States
In San Francisco, California, HuGS worked as a
dishwashing machine operator in the kitchen of the
Fairmont San Francisco Hotel for a salary of $1.00 per hour
of work.
In Los Angeles, California, HuGS worked as a dishwashing
machine operator, stock clerk, factory worker, retail clerk,
Notary Public, translator, and Retirement Benefits Specialist.
Public Service
In the City of Los Angeles Government, HuGS worked in
the Retirement Department as a Benefits Specialist for 30
years. In that entity, he counseled the members and
beneficiaries of the retirement plan on the provisions of the
Administrative Code for benefits and how to request
payment of them. Furthermore, he performed the functions
of Legal Assistant, a specialist in the processing of
Community Property Division Court Orders, instructor,
writer of manuals, Notary Public, and translator from
Spanish to English.
Page 92
About the Author
Work Certificates
Certificate of Excellent Public Service awarded by
the Los Angeles City Employees Retirement System.
Certificate of Employee of the Quarter awarded by
the Los Angeles City Employees Retirement System.
Work in Behalf of Undocumented Immigrant
Workers
In Los Angeles, HuGS helped undocumented immigrant
workers, in 1987, to understand the terms and conditions of
the Immigration Control and Reform Act (IRCA) of 1986
of the Federal Government of the United States. Moreover,
he assisted them with the acquisition and translation, from
Spanish to English, of the documents required by the law so
that they could request amnesty and an immigrant visa.
Page 93
The Colonialist Catholic Church
Abused this Boy