OLD/NEW

Written by

Seth Worley
Aharon Rabinowitz

Postproduction Draft
December 1, 2014

seth@sethworley.com
FADE IN:

CURTAINS
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Can you tell me the difference
between Old and New?
The curtains -- actually window curtains -- OPEN to reveal:
DREW
NARRATOR (V.O.)
This man can.
He changes the curtains.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
His name is Drew.

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING

Drew opens new toothbrushes, toothpaste, bar soap, etc.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Drew McHugh liked things to be new.

DREWS BIRTH CERTIFICATE

Reads BRIAN McHUGH.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
He was actually born Brian. But
that got old, too.
A hand stamps AMMENDED onto it.

BATHROOM
Drew brushes his teeth while typing on his phone.
NARRATOR
In fact, in the time I was telling
you that,
he got online and changed it to
Matt.

INT. KITCHEN
A series of shots of Matt turning around to drink his coffee,
wearing a different shirt each time.
 2.

NARRATOR
Youd be hard-pressed to find a
shirt Matt had worn twice,
as buying and trying new things was
his vice.

GLASSES
NARRATOR
His glasses--

PHONE
NARRATOR
His phone--

MUSIC
NARRATOR
His music--

SHELF
A photo with friends his replaced with one with new friends.
NARRATOR
His friends--

LIVING ROOM
Hes watching one show on his iPad, pan up to reveal another
one playing on TV.
NARRATOR
His new favorite show before the
last one could end.

INT. MAILROOM
Matt opens a bill that unfolds all the way to the ground.
NARRATOR
The only old thing that he had was
his debt--

INT. LIVING ROOM

Matt online shopping, reading his credit card, while possibly
wearing an oculus rift.
 3.

NARRATOR
From basically buying the whole
internet.
Hes browsing a CROWDFUNDING PAGE--
NARRATOR (CONTD)
Hed even buy things that barely
existed.
--for a cloning machine.

INT. FRONT DOOR - EVENING

A drone delivers a huge box.
NARRATOR
(LINE NEEDS WORK)
If its patent was pending, he
couldnt resist it.
(or)
If he couldnt justify it, he
couldnt resist it.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The box is ripped open, next to it a manual for the CLONING
MACHINE.
NARRATOR
Now-- while his quest for the fresh
kept him quite occupied--
A bunch of clones step out of his new machine. They are all
as bored as Matt.
NARRATOR (CONTD)
Underneath everything he felt
unsatisfied.
MATT CLONES
This isnt fulfilling-- This isnt fulfilling--

NARRATOR (CONTD)
--he thought to himself.
How confusing, this new thing, this
feeling he felt.

INT. ART MUSEUM - DAY

He peruses a new art museum.
NARRATOR
A couple days later, a new art
museum
opened its doors only two blocks
from him.
 4.

He listens to CLAIRE, a cute curator there.

NARRATOR (CONTD)
It was there that he met a curator
named Claire,
whod compiled all the paintings
exhibited there.
He stares at one of the paintings, listening to Claire.
NARRATOR (CONTD)
Now these paintings-- they were
old.
Even older than old.
Yet to John--
INSERT of his nametag, his name now changed to MARK--
NARRATOR (CONTD)
--an odd feeling had begun to take
hold.
MARK
Impossible...
NARRATOR
--he thought. Yet could it be true?
That something so old, could make
him feel so--
JOHN
--new?

INT. APARTMENT
NARRATOR
So as an experiment he decided to
sample
other things old, like this song
for example--
John is listening on old headphones to an old record--
JOHN
GOOD GOD, THIS IS GOOD--
NARRATOR
--he exclaimed, listening--
JOHN
(pointing to turntable)
And this thing that its on is my
new favorite thing!
And look at these cars! These
gorgeous old cars!
CLONE
Try that old whiskey--
 5.

JOHN
(trying it)
HOLY (BLEEP). THATS-- thats
really good.

EXT. FUTURISTIC CITY

NARRATOR
Hed chased cutting edge, and state
of the art--
which is obviously dangerous
because edges are sharp--

EXT. OLD DELAPIDATED BRIDGE AND ROAD

He turns around, now suddenly on an old nasty bridge--
NARRATOR
But here now behind him lied well-
charted road!
So it was out with the new and in
with the old!

MONTAGE
GLASSES.
NARRATOR
Old glasses!
TOYS.
NARRATOR (CONTD)
Old toys!
BOOK.
NARRATOR (CONTD)
Old books with old words!
FRAMED PICTURE OF JOHN WITH SOME FRIENDS
NARRATOR (CONTD)
Old friends!
FRAMED PICTURE OF JOHN WITH OLD PEOPLE
NARRATOR (CONTD)
And old friends!
PIGEON.
NARRATOR (CONTD)
And old taxidermied birds!
A GOAT.
 6.

NARRATOR (CONTD)
--and goats.
A PHONE EDITING PHOTOS
NARRATOR (CONTD)
Pictures looked better when you
made them look worse!
John looks up from his phone--
JOHN
What else is old?
THE UNIVERSE.
NARRATOR
The whole universe.

A BARN
NARRATOR
Reclaimed wood--

A GARDEN
NARRATOR
Organically grown--

EXT. BARN
NARRATOR
If it belonged in a barn--

INT. LIVING ROOM

NARRATOR
Then it belonged in his home!

EXT. OLD DECREPIT HOUSE

NARRATOR
He bought a really old house--

OLD DOOR
NARRATOR
With really old doors--
The door falls off.
 7.

AN OLD PAINTCAN
The label reads: NOW WITH MORE LEAD.
NARRATOR
Really old paint--

INT. OLD DECREPIT LIVING ROOM

NARRATOR
And really old floors.
Mark falls through the floor.

INT. BATHROOM
Painful, painful shaving--
NARRATOR
He used really old razors--

CAPITOL HILL
He stands alone holding a picket sign that reads DONT LET
WOMEN VOTE.
NARRATOR
--held really old views--

FRONT YARD
He eats a nasty black banana--
NARRATOR
Ate really old bananas--

DECREPIT OLD FRONT PORCH

Reads a newspaper that reads, WORLD WAR 1 STARTS TOMORROW.
NARRATOR
And read really old news.

INT. DECREPIT LIVING ROOM - SOME TIME LATER

An old I Like Ike ad plays, quickly drowned out by static--
John looks up from his book. Some leaves blow through the
room--
JOHN
Old stuff is starting to get old--
 8.

NARRATOR
--he conceded.
He was starting to feel lonely, and
insufficiently heated.
Hes wrapped in an old blanket, freezing.
NARRATOR (CONTD)
Chasing the new was an empty
pursuit,
But old-fashioned life yielded even
less fruit.
His chair collapses.
NARRATOR (CONTD)
It was there in that moment, his
life a disaster,
he was struck by a revelation, and
also some plaster.
A piece of the ceiling falls on his head.

DREAM SEQUENCE
NARRATOR
Some things are best old, and some
things new--
But remember why they mean what
they mean to you--
CU OF HIS FACE
JOHN
Remember why they mean what the
mean to you--

INT. ART MUSEUM - FLASHBACK

Back when he first saw the art--
NARRATOR
Thinking back on that day, to the
art that inspired--
Camera pulls back to reveal CLAIRE, cleaning the painting--
NARRATOR (CONTD)
It was the human who groomed them
he actually admired--

INT. DECREPIT OLD LIVING ROOM

He opens his eyes--
JOHN
IT WAS CLAIRE!
 9.

ART MUSEUM
Theyre standing in front of a painting of a bear--
NARRATOR
--not that bear--
that made him feel new!
And now he knew just what exactly
to do--

INT. DECREPIT OLD LIVING ROOM

JOHN
Now I know just what exactly to do!
But the thing what will fix this--
--is something brand new!
He jumps up--
NARRATOR
He sprang to his feet--
Hes hit by more plaster, collapses--
NARRATOR (CONTD)
--and fell to the floor--
Jumpcut -- daytime now-- John gets up--
NARRATOR (CONTD)
--awoke five hours later and ran to
the store!

EXT. MODERN DEPARTMENT STORE WINDOW

He runs up to the window and sees--
A sign reading WE HAVE WHAT YOU NEED! ONLY ONE LEFT!
NARRATOR
He got there to find that they had
one in stock!
So he broke down the door, though
it was totally unlocked.

INT. MODERN DEPARTMENT STORE

He awkwardly busts through the glass part of the window--

INT. MODERN DEPARTMENT STORE AISLE

He runs to the right aisle--
NARRATOR
Because the rational solution to
fix everything--
 10.

Grabs the product tag--

INT. WAREHOUSE
He runs to the right aisle--
NARRATOR
--was obviously--
Finds the aisle--
NARRATOR (CONTD)
--going to be--
We find it. Its:
NARRATOR (CONTD)
--a time machine.

EXT. ART MUSEUM - THAT FIRST DAY

BAM! Time dumps John into the past like an unwanted child. An
unwanted child getting zapped shitless by bolts of energy--
JOHN
AAGGH-- GOD--

INT. ART MUSEUM

He throws open the doors--
NARRATOR
He went back to the museum on
opening day--
He runs up to himself from the past--
NARRATOR (CONTD)
--located himself, and began to
relay--
JOHN
Some things are best old, and some
things new, but what matters most
is-- wait youre the wrong dude--
REVERSAL to reveal its totally some other dude.
NARRATOR
It turns out that time travel
screws up your eyes.
But eventually he found himself
after three more tries--
 11.

ART MUSEUM -- TALKING TO HIS OLD SELF

JOHN
Youre gonna something today that
wakes up your soul,
but it wont be too new, or
particularly that old--
its there--
NARRATOR
--he said, as he pointed to Claire--
JOHN
Whats going to change your life is
right there.
REVERSAL to reveal--
NARRATOR
He was actually pointing to a
sculpture of a male chest--
but it was enough for his old self
to make an educated guess.

INT. HAPPY HOUSE WITH OLD AND NEW THINGS - PRESENT DAY
He emerges from the portal--
JOHN
AAAGH MY SKIN--
NARRATOR
He arrived home to find everything
had been changed,
his trajectory successfully now
rearranged.
He runs to the walls--
JOHN
New looking photos! In old looking
frames!
He looks over at the couch, to a man in camo playing on his
phone--
JOHN (CONTD)
An actual hunter playing a hunting
game!
He looks everywhere--
NARRATOR
This home was a mix of things old
and things new.
But most importantly--
He hears something--
 12.

NARRATOR (CONTD)
--he shared these things--
He turns to find CLAIRE--
NARRATOR (CONTD)
--with--
JOHN
--you.
They do love things that love people do.
NARRATOR
They shared this new house, filled
with old and new things--
JOHN
--and its winter!
Its snowing outside.
JOHN (CONTD)
(a beat)
--which is weird. Because when I
left it was spring--?

EXT. HAPPY HOUSE WITH OLD AND NEW THINGS

Everything is weird. Elephants are driving cars.
NARRATOR
Sometimes when you time travel, you
mess some sh(bleep) up--

INT. HAPPY HOUSE WITH OLD AND NEW THINGS

NARRATOR
--its just something that happens
when you do things for love.
She puts her arms around him and joins him in staring at the
weirdness, but its normal and beautiful to her probably.
NARRATOR (CONTD)
The point is, dont worry about
age. Seriously dont.
Its a mystery to scientists. Like
magnets, and boats.

STOCK FOOTAGE OF BOATS

NARRATOR
I mean, what are boats made of? How
do they float?
Its just one of those things that
nobody knows.
 13.

STOCK FOOTAGE OF TREES AND PLANTS GROWING, MAYBE ALSO BABIES

NARRATOR
When you let something age, you
allow it to grow,
To cultivate character, and more
seeds to sow.

STOCK FOOTAGE OF TECHNOLOGY DOING COOL STUFF

NARRATOR
But new things can help it to
thrive and sustain,
and build on the character you
worked to attain.

INT. HAPPY HOUSE WITH OLD AND NEW THINGS

John and Claire turn from the window, to each other--
NARRATOR
Some things are best old, and some
things new--
--and go about their lives.
NARRATOR (CONTD)
--and theres no good reason you
cant marry the two.
Curtains.
THE END.