Parenting is the process of raising and educating a child from birth or before until adulthood

(Selfgrowth.com, 2012). Parenting style can be described as all strategies (behaviors, attitudes and
values) parents use to interact with their children and influence their physical, emotional, social
and intellectual development. These styles differ due to certain factors. These factors include
culture, personality, parental background, educational level, socio-economic status, family size
and religion.

Four parenting styles still forms the theoretical underpinning of much research on parenting styles,
and its correlates and outcome (Cripps, K. and Zyromski, B, 2009). These four styles may be
described as follows: authoritative parents are high on both demanding and responsiveness
measures; authoritarian parents are high on demanding but low on responsiveness measures;
indulgent parents are high on responsiveness and low on demanding measures; and neglectful
parents are low on both demanding and responsiveness measures.

I grew up with a combination of two parenting styles. While my dad was the indulgent type, my
mum was the authoritarian type.
My dad placed few demands or controls on me. For him, there were no set boundaries. He was
always very lenient with me and extremely responsive to my needs and wants. I got whatever I
wanted from him without any questions. When it came to my education, he didnt really care about
my grades, all he wanted to know was that I passed the course irrespective of the grades I got. He
never interfered in my personal life. I wasnt really the sociable type because I always preferred to
stay indoors, however my other siblings would go out and come back whenever they wanted and
he wont really care to ask them where they had been.

My mum on the other hand has always been the authoritarian type. She brought me up with tough
love. She was always quick to discipline me whenever I went astray while placing a big premium
on respect and culture. She instilled in me a sense of responsibility and she made sure I was diligent
at home chores. She taught me the virtue of discipline and hard work. My mum made all the rules
and regulations in the house even when it came to my personal and social life. These rules were
very strict and must be followed no matter what. I offered no explanations for the rules other than
Because I said so. Her decisions were always final; take it or get punished! She believed so much
in the saying Spare the rod and spoil the child. I had to work hard at my studies in other to get
good grades because even though my dad didnt really care so much about my grades, my mum
did. I dare not come back home with anything less than an A grade. If I got a B, I should be
ready to give her a reasonable explanation as to why I got a B grade.
Nonetheless, Im happy I have a mum whose parenting style was contrary to that of my dads
because, it has helped to shape me into the responsible person that I am today. Maybe, I would
have lost focus in life and turned out to be wayward if my mums parenting style was the same as
my dads.

When I decide to have kids of my own, I will adopt the authoritative style of parenting. I would
like to have an open communication style of relationship with my kids and speak to them without
judgment or reprimand. Ill encourage them to be independent but still place limits on their actions.
Ill set clear standards for them, monitor the limits that they set, and allow them to
develop autonomy. Punishments for misbehavior will be measured and consistent, not arbitrary or
violent.
References
1. Cripps, K. and Zyromski, B. (2009). Adolescents Psychological Well-Being and
Perceived Parental Involvement: Implications for Parental Involvement in Middle Schools.
Research in Middle Level Education Online, 33, 1-13.
2. Selfgrowth.com (2012). Retrieved from http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Defini
tion_Parenting.html