THE WANGS

Bully #5 (S1E7)

Written by

Harry Jonathan Chong

10/12/2015

Harry Wang learns Wing Chun Kung Fu to defend himself against a

school bully.
EXT. 90 KERRY CRES DAY

RORY the Raccoon is hanging about outside, eating from the

garbage.

INT. KITCHEN, 90 KERRY CRES DAY

Chang, Mindy, Craig, Emily, and Harry are all sat around the
breakfast table eating. Emily and Harry looked dressed for
school, having backpacks nearby.

Harry looks rather sweaty, and nervous. Mindy notices this.

MINDY
Sweetie, are you okay?

HARRY
School.

MINDY
Huh?

HARRY
I don't wanna go to school.

Chang bangs his fist on the breakfast table.

CHANG
If you wanna become a doctor, you
have to go to school.

HARRY
I don't wanna become a doctor. You
want me to become a doctor.
CHANG
What's your point?

HARRY
Never mind.

EMILY
Harry, don't worry about school.
Remember, we're in America. We're
not going to an institution run by
frothy mouthed Asians.
Academically, this will be the
easiest thing you've ever done.

CRAIG
I am a robot.
 2.

HARRY
That's not what's worrying me,
Emily.

Chang stands up, and starts gesturing angrily at Harry.

CHANG
I'm sick and tired of all these
complaints. America is an amazing
country. You should appreciate
everything you have here.
(deep breath)
And let me tell you something else,
boy. You're going to school whether
you like it or not, even if I have
to physically take you there
myself.

Chang rolls up his sleeves, and goes over to Harry, and

starts pushing him - but it's no use. He cannot move him.

HARRY
Stop that, dad, you're tickling me.

Chang pants, struggling to get his son to move. He stops,

wipes his sweaty brow, bends forward, and rests his hands
against his knees.

CHANG
Damn you, you Asian Goliath. Just
go to school already.

Casually, Harry eats some of his breakfast, and then speaks

up.
HARRY
Okay, no need to nag me.

Harry grabs his backpack, and puts it on his back.

HARRY (CONTD)
I'm going.

Harry leaves the kitchen.

CHANG
Man, that kid needs to go on a
diet!

MINDY
Or maybe you need to get in shape.
 3.

CHANG
What are you talking about? I'm in
great shape. Watch. I can kick my
height.

Chang swings his leg forward to kick. His shoe flies off and
nails Emily in the head.

Emily falls off her chair, and drops unconscious to the

floor.

CHANG (CONTD)
Uh -- heads up!

MINDY
Omigod! Chang, what the hell!

CHANG
I said heads up!

MINDY
No, why are you wearing shoes
inside the house? We're Asian...
Now the floors gonna be dirty.

CRAIG
Explain yourself, young man.

CHANG
Am sorry. I started watching
American TV. They always wear shoes
inside their houses. Have you seen
Full House?

MINDY
This isn't fucking Full House.

CHANG
Why are you swearing at me? HOW
RUDE!

Chang folds his arms. Then he starts acting out.

CHANG (CONTD)
UNCLE JOEEEEEY!!!!!!!!!!!

MINDY
I have no idea what's going on
here, but it better stop right now.

CHANG
ArgHaaHaHaHAHAAH! LEAVE MY HAIR
ALONE, YOU GUYS! NOT THE HAIR!
 4.

Chang grabs his hair, and waggles his head, and bumbles out
of the kitchen like a mad man.

Mindy sighs.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL #90456 DAY

We see the high school. It's quite...high schooly.

INT. HALLWAY, HIGH SCHOOL #90456 DAY

The bell rings. All the students at their lockers, finish

their whatevers, and then shuffle off, and head to their
classes, leaving the hallway empty.

Enter Harry, waddling to get to class. He takes a look at his

watch, and accidentally bumps into DILLON Smith the school
bully. He's a huge, greasy looking white kid, with a chip on
his shoulder.

Dillon stands in Harry's way with hands on hips, looking

down, silently.

HARRY
(head up)
Oh, ah, sorry. Didn't see you
there.

Harry tries to walk around, but Dillon steps in his way.

HARRY (CONTD)
Excuse me, I'm trying to get to my
cla --
Dillon grabs Harry and pushes him into a wall.

DILLON
Do you know who I am?

HARRY
H-how can I forget? Youre Dillon
Smith... The big, school bully.

DILLON
Correct, but Im a special type of
bully. You know, there are actually
four different types of bullies.
Would you like to hear about it?

HARRY
Oh, no. Are you going to lecture me
again?
 5.

DILLON
Bully #1 is the classic troubled
bully. He has a troubled family
life at home, so he takes out his
anger on those around him because
he is subconsciously jealous of
what they have. Or he just doesnt
know any better because he was
raised by, for lack of a better
term, assholes.

HARRY
I see.

DILLON
Bully #2 is the ego bully. Hes
insecure, and he picks on others to
raise his social standing. If you
cant be respected, then make them
fear you.

HARRY
And Bully #3?

DILLON
Bully #3 is the coward bully. He
is afraid of being picked on
himself, so he pushes others around
to appear dominant. But in reality,
hes a pussy. He picks his targets
carefully, only going after the
smaller, weaker children, lest his
illusion of strength be shattered.

HARRY
Odd...but interesting. What about
Bully Type #4?

DILLON
Bully #4 is the worst one. He is
the spoiled bully. The reason
he's a bully is because he is so
spoiled by his parents that he is
always used to getting his way, and
if anyone denies him that he will
go absolutely crazy on them. But
this type of bully only exists when
a spoiled, little shit has the
physical capabilities to back up
his threats. If he's not big and
strong for his age he'll just be
another whiny dickhole.
 6.

HARRY
Wow. That was surprisingly
educational.

DILLON
Shut up, fatso.

HARRY
Okay, wait, there's something I
don't get. If you're so
knowledgeable, and self-aware, why
don't you stop being a bully? I
mean, clearly you know that it's
wrong.

DILLON
Here's the thing, theres another
type of bully, I forgot to mention:
Bully Type #5.

HARRY
You said there were four.

DILLON
Oh, did I forget to mention? Silly
me. Yeah. There are actually five
types.

HARRY
OK.

DILLON
Bully #5 is a very special type of
bully. He is the perverted bully.
HARRY
Sorry, what?

DILLON
Bully #5 is the bully who gets
sexually turned on by bullying
others.

HARRY
Dude, are you serious? That's
gross.

DILLON
And guess what?

HARRY
What?
 7.

DILLON
Im bully #5.

Dillon holds Harry in place with one hand, and starts

punching him in the gut.

DILLON (CONTD)
Oh, yeah! Can you feel that? I'm
getting so hot! My wiener's as hard
as a rock right now!

After a bunch of punches, Dillon delivers the last blow,

which is the big finisher. He sounds like he's orgasming.

DILLON (CONTD)
Eaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Harry collapses to the floor, and the school bell rings.

INT. LIVING ROOM, 90 KERRY CRES - DAY

Emily is kneeling down in front of the coffee table, where

there is a birthday cake with candles. She is surrounded by
Chang, Mindy, Craig, and Rory the Raccoon. They finish
singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

CHANG, MINDY, CRAIG

...HAPPY BIRTHDAAAY TO YOOOU!

Emily blows out the candles on her cake. Chang, Mindy, Craig,
and Rory clap.

MINDY
Make a wish!
CHANG
But dont get your hopes up. I
dont think wishes actually come
true. I guess you can say Im sort
of a wish atheist.

EMILY
Right, okay, dad. Ill be sure to
keep that in mind.

Mindy takes out a long, rectangular, gift box from behind her
back. She presents it to Emily.

MINDY
Alright, Emily, here's your
birthday present. I hope you like
it.
 8.

Emily opens the gift box, and finds a sword inside. She takes
it out, and looks at it.

EMILY
Oh, wow. A sword. How did you guys
know?

MINDY
Well, the other day you were
grumbling about how you wanted to
behead some people, and I put two
and two together.

EMILY
Mom, you're the best. I promise, I
will never forget this birthday for
as long as I live.

Emily now admires her sword.

Then Harry, all beat up and disheveled, comes into the living
room.

Emily looks his way.

EMILY (CONTD)
Hey, Harry. Wha' gwan?

Harry stops to talk to Emily.

HARRY
Emily. Is it your birthday? Happy
birthday. Best wishes. YOLO, and so
forth.
Emily holds up her sword.

EMILY
Check out my cool sword. You wanna
play with it, and slice some fruit
or something?

HARRY
Nah, I think I'm gonna go up, and
do my homework. See yah later.

Harry walks off, and leaves.

EMILY
Wow. He looked so sad. How can he
be sad when we have cake?! This is
a mystery that only Nancy Drew
could solve.
 9.

Emily sticks out her hand. Craig gives her a cellphone. Emily
dials a number, and puts it against her ear. Someone on the
other side picks up.

EMILY
(on phone)
Hello, Nancy? I need your help...
What do you mean you're too busy?
Well, yeah, fuck you too! Your
mysteries are totally stupid! How
about you solve a murder-rape case
once in a while?! Too good for
that, huh? Yeah, I thought so!

Emily angrily disconnects her phone, and fumes.

CHANG
(whispers to Mindy)
I think our daughter has some
serious anger issues.

MINDY
(whispering)
She gets that from your side of the
family.

CHANG
(whispering)
Mindy, don't you ever insult me
like that again, or I swear I will
murder you in your sleep.

Mindy glares at Chang.

CHANG (CONTD)
HA-HA! Just kidding. I was doing a
thing there, you see. I, I really
love you. Youre wonderful.

Mindy shakes her head.

EXT. HALLWAY, HIGH SCHOOL #90456 DAY

Harry's head peeks out from behind a wall. Seeing no one is

there, he comes out, and starts walking. He keeps his head
down low, and goes quietly, trying not to bring any attention
to himself.

But then Dillon, and three other bullies -- PAULINA, REX, and
BONO - come out of a set of lockers, and surround him.
 10.

DILLON
Hey, fatso. Where you going?

HARRY
Science class.

DILLON
Science? Science is for losers!

HARRY
N-no, it's not. Science is awesome.

DILLON
You're right. Science is awesome,
but do you remember what I told you
last time?

HARRY
(sighs)
Okay. Just hurry it up, you
pervert.

Dillon, Paulina, Rex, and Bono grab Harry by his legs and
arms, and carry him away into the boys' bathroom.

INT. BOY'S BATHROOM, HIGH SCHOOL #90456 DAY

Dillon, Paulina, Rex, and Bono are holding Harry, head first,
above a toilet. Harry has his hands posted on the bowl,
trying to stop himself from be dunked into the water.

HARRY
Please, no, no! This is disgusting!
There's a piece of shit in there!
DILLON
The more you resist the hornier it
makes me!

Paulina, Rex, and Bono look at Dillon like: What the fuck?

DILLON (CONTD)
Uhhh, I was just joking, you guys.
It was a joke! You don't know what
a joke is?

Rex, Bono, and Paulina nod, then they, along with Dillon,
push Harry's head into the toilet. They lift him up to give
him air. He coughs, and sputters.

HARRY
(crying)
W-why are you doing this to me?!
 11.

DILLON
I saw it in a movie, and thought it
looked funny. So, here we are!

Once again the bullies dunk Harry's head into the toilet.

INT. OUTSIDE DIKSHIT'S OFFICE, HIGH SCHOOL #90456 DAY

We are in front of the door to Principal Dikshit's office.

INT. INSIDE DIKSHIT'S OFFICE, HIGH SCHOOL #90456 DAY

Mindy and Chang are sat in front of Principal DIKSHIT's desk,

where Dikshit has his hands folded, and is leaning forward to
listen.

MINDY
...And if you could do something
about our son being bullied that
would be great.

Dikshit leans back in his chair, with his hands on his head,
and then returns forward.

DIKSHIT
Did you tell him to grow a pair
yet?

MINDY
Sorry? A pair of what?

DIKSHIT
Bollocks.
MINDY
What? Why would I tell him that?

DIKSHIT
If you shelter your son too much,
and don't allow him to stand on his
own two feet, he is going to grow
up into a pussy. A big, giant pussy
named Jon. Or Larry.

MINDY
Principal Dikshit, I don't want my
son involved in any sort of
violence. He is here to get an
education, first, and foremost. He
shouldn't have to deal with this.
(MORE)
 12.
MINDY (CONT'D)
Do you know what those bullies did
to him? They put his head into a
dirty toilet.

Dikshit laughs.

DIKSHIT
Ahhh-ha-ha-ha! Just like in the
movies!

MINDY
Why are you laughing? This is not a
joke.

CHANG
To be Frank, Dikshit, it sounds
like you don't even care.

Dikshit stops laughing.

DIKSHIT
To be honest, no, I dont really
care. But Im not the only one.
Most people in the education system
dont care about kids. Let me tell
you something, Mister Wang. 97.2%
of the people here are just
collecting a paycheck -- and why
shouldn't they? This place is a
living nightmare, and no matter
what you do the students will end
up as total failures in life. The
minute you start caring is the
minute you start becoming
disappointed.
CHANG
Wow. I never thought about it that
way. I guess you're right.

Mindy elbows Chang who goes oof.

MINDY
(to Dikshit)
I don't care what your views are,
Dikshit. You have an obligation to
help my son. Also, 97.2%... That's
kind of specific.

DIKSHIT
Oh, yeah, we did a survey.
 13.

MINDY
And who is this 2.8% that is not
just collecting a paycheck?

DIKSHIT
Janitors...and a secretary. But we
don't like her.

MINDY
Are you serious? Are you telling me
janitors care more about the
students than the teachers?

Principal Dikshit shrugs like he has no answer for Mindy.

EXT. BACK AREA, HIGH SCHOOL #90456 DAY

Dillon, Paulina, Rex, and Bono are spray painting the back
wall with their crappy, garbage graffiti, and then a shadow
appears in front of them.

This shadow belongs to Emily, who is carrying an extra long

duffel bag. She clears her throat to get some attention:
AHEM!

Dillon and the bullies pause their vandalizing, and slowly

turn around.

EMILY
Excuse me, is your name Dillon?

DILLON
(glares)
Fuck off, kid. I'm busy.
EMILY
I don't care if you're busy,
because what's you're doing is
retarded.

DILLON
What? How's this retarded?

EMILY
You live in this city, right?

DILLON
So?

EMILY
Well, vandalizing the city you live
in is retarded.
(MORE)
 14.
EMILY (CONT'D)
You're making this place ugly for
yourself. It's like taking a shit
where you eat.

DILLON
No, it's not. We're making the city
beautiful, giving it a little edge,
you know.

EMILY
Bullshit. You know your art is
crap. That's why you have to do it
on a public wall, or a bus stop, or
a phone booth, or whatever the
hell. Because this is the only way
you can get people to look at, and
I put this in quotes, your
artwork. If you put your stuff on
a piece of paper people would
crumple it up, and throw it into
the garbage. The reason you
vandalize is because you're
talentless, and artistically you
can only get attention by basically
raping people's eyes. Artistically
speaking, you're the equivalent of
a flasher with a smell wee-wee.

DILLON
What're you? Some kind of
conservative? For public property?

EMILY
Shut up, you retard.
DILLON
Stop saying that word. It's rude,
and politically incorrect.

EMILY
Do something about it.

Dillon puts down his can of spray paint, and then steps over
to Emily. He punches her in the face. Emily stumbles back,
and drops.

DILLON
Not so tough now, huh, bitch?!

EMILY
You all saw that, right? He hit me
first, so anything I do is purely
in self-defense.
 15.

DILLON
Say what?

Emily gets to her feet, unzips her duffel bag, and reaches
her hand in, and pulls out a sword.

EMILY
Alright, time to self-defend
myself.

DILLON
You're joking, right? What do you
think this is? Kill Bill?

Emily sticks up her middle finger.

DILLON (CONTD)
Ooh, big deal. I can do that too.

Dillon sticks up his middle finger with a confident grin, but

then Emily swings her sword, and chops off his hand.

Dillon stares at his arm (or what's left of it ) in

disbelief. He looks at his severed hand on the ground, and
back to his arm - then he screams at the top of his lungs.

DILLON (CONTD)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Paulina, Rex, and Bono drop their spray paint cans, and run
off. Dillon crumples to the ground in a fetal position, and
cries, holding his bleeding stub.

Emily stands over him, and points her sword at his head.
EMILY
Let this be a lesson to you: Don't
be a bully - and most of all never
fuck with a Wang.

DILLON
Wait, what? This is about bullying?
I thought this was about vandalism.

EMILY
No, I cut off your hand because
you've been picking on my brother.
He's the fat Taiwanese kid, whose
head you put into the toilet. Yah,
man, that's not cool.

DILLON
And, and lopping off my hand is?!
 16.

EMILY
Its cool to me, and thats what
really matters.

INT. KITCHEN, 90 KERRY CRES DAY

Emily is sitting at the kitchen table, eating crackers, and

doing her homework.

The next moment, Mindy's head appears, peeping inside.

MINDY
Emily?

EMILY
(turns head)
Mom?

MINDY
Did you cut off a boy's hand at
school?

EMILY
Yes.

MINDY
Well, your principal called, and
you're suspended for a week. Also,
I'm grounding you for a month.

EMILY
Aw, man. Can't you just punish me
by beating my ass. It's quick, and
efficient.
MINDY
Emily, this is America. We are not
allowed to beat our kids as
punishment.

EMILY
That's not true. What about in
Texas?

MINDY
THIS ISN'T TEXAS.

Mindy angrily shakes her fist.

 17.

INT. CAFETERIA, HIGH SCHOOL #90456 DAY

A prosthetic hand punches Harry in the face. Harry falls

down. We see that the prosthetic hand belongs to Dillon, and
that there is a crowd of students that have formed a circle
around them.

It's a classic, non-school yard fight! Harry gets up to his

feet, but Dillon grabs him, and throws him back to the floor.

Dillon kicks Harry in the ribs, and makes him roll. Harry
groans and holds his side. Dillon gestures for him to get up.

DILLON
Come on! Fight me! What are you? A
coward?!

HARRY
I, I told you. I don't wanna fight,
and I'm sorry that my sister cut
off your hand, but that isn't my
fault.

DILLON
That's not why I'm kicking your
ass. I'm kicking your ass for two
reasons. #1, you already know. #2,
I am offended by your vegetarian
diet.

HARRY
What? That doesn't make any sense.

DILLON
Yes, it does. I hate animals.
HARRY
Okay, it kinda makes sense, but
also doesn't. It's really weird.

DILLO
Youre weird!

Dillon grabs Harry by the shirt, and hoists him to his feet.
With his prosthetic hand he punches him at least five times.
Harry is wobbly, and he can barely even see. His face is full
of blood.

HARRY
Please, can't we be friends?

DILLON
No way, you vegetarian queer!
 18.

Dillon does a spinning heel kick, and connects it to Harry's

temple. Harry drops like a sack of potatoes. Lights out.

EXT. OPEN GARAGE, 90 KERRY CRES DAY

Chang has his hands over Harry's eyes.

CHANG
Alright, here it is -

Chang takes his hands off Harry's eyes.

CHANG (CONTD)
Tada!

He presents him a Wing Chun Dummy, a wooden dummy for

practicing Wing Chun kung-fu.

HARRY
What is that?

CHANG
A Wing Chun dummy. I'm going to
teach you Wing Chun Kung-Fu. You
know, Bruce Lee used to practice
Wing Chun.

HARRY
You really want me to learn Kung-
Fu?

CHANG
So you can defend yourself against
bullies.
HARRY
Are you serious? I dont know
anything about martial arts.

CHANG
You will learn! If you just put
your mind to it you can do it.
Also, if we were characters in a TV
show there would be a sweet montage
showing your progression. That'd be
awesome. I really, really, really
like montages.
 19.

HARRY
(sighs)
Ah, okay then, let's do this.

MONTAGE:

01. Harry is dressed in a kung-fu suit. He is in the garage

practicing on the Wing Chun Dummy. He is terrible at it. Very
slow, and sloppy.

02. Harry is still struggling to use the Wing Chun Dummy, but
he's getting a little better.

03. We see some improvement in Harry's Wing Chun skills. He's

striking, trapping, and blocking pretty good with the Wing
Chun Dummy.

04. A remarkable improvement. Harry looks natural, and

skillful on the Wing Chun dummy. He strikes it several times
with precision.
05. Now Harry has a rhythm when he's hitting the Wing Chun
Dummy. As he punches and kicks it, it's like he has a full
grasp of the art.

06. Harry continues hitting the Wing Chun Dummy. He is a pro.

07. Harry has mastered Wing Chun. He is making easy work of

the Dummy. He is hitting it with an immense speed, and fury.
Then he goes into hyper mode, and hits the Wing Chun Dummy
like his hands are jackhammers. He stops, and breathes. The
Wing Chun Dummy cracks, and breaks in half. The top piece
falls to the floor.

:RETURN TO SCENE

Chang returns to the garage, carrying a Chinese takeout

container. He notices Harry, who is breathing heavily, with
sweat, and the Wing Chun Dummy that is broken.

CHANG
Oh my God! You broke the Wing Chun
Dummy! You know how long that took
me to make?! What the hell!

Harry looks at Chang. He seems a little scared.

HARRY
Uh, it was an accident.

CHANG
Accident my ass!
 20.

Chang drops his takeout, and grabs Harry's head. He points

his ass towards it, and lets out a roaring fart.

Harry stumbles back, coughing, and wheezing. Then he trips,

spins, and falls face first into a giant cake.

CHANG (CONTD)
(shaking head)
Clumsy.

INT. HISTORY CLASS, HIGH SCHOOL #90456 DAY

Students are at their desks reading. Included in this

youthful ensemble are Harry, and Dillon, Dillon who is seated
directly behind Harry.

Up at front is the teacher Mister POPADOF. Popadof has his

feet on the desk, and is playing a video game on his smart
phone.

Dillon leans forward, and whispers into Harry's ear.

DILLON
(whispering)
Harry.

Harry's eyes shift.

HARRY
(whispering)
What do you want?

DILLON
(whispering)
I want to throw you down on the
floor, and bully the shit out of
you, then choke my chicken while
you cry like a little bitch.

HARRY
(whispering)
You're a degenerate, you know that?
Fuck you. Fuck you in your stupid
ass.

DILLON
(whispering)
I'm sorry. This is not the bully-
victim relationship I've grown
accustomed to. What are you doing?
 21.

HARRY
(whispering)
I'm not taking it anymore. I've had
enough of your bullying.

DILLON
(whispering)
Standing up for yourself, huh?
(loud)
YOU FAT BITCH!

Dillon slaps Harry in the back of the head. Harry stands up,
and turns around in a Wing Chun pose. Dillon stands too.

All the students around look, with anticipation.

The teacher Popadof, however, is still busy with the game on

his phone. It's as if he's hypnotized.

HARRY
I'm warning you, Dillhole. You
touch me one more time, and I will
obliterate you, Robert Downey
Junior style!

DILLON
Did you just call me Dillhole?

HARRY
Wanna fight about it?

Dillon pulls back his fist, but then glances at Popadof, and
puts his arm down. Instead he points to Harry.

DILLON
After school - at WOLF CLIFF.

The STUDENTS around go: Ooooooh!

STUDENTS
Oooooooh!

HARRY
(to Dillon)
I'll be there, and thus avoid being
square.

STUDENTS
Oooooooh!

DILLON
(to the Students)
Stop oooh-ing goddamnit!
 22.

EXT. 90 KERRY CRES DAY

Our eyes are fixed on the garage door. There is the sound of
an explosion, and the garage door, which is metal, bulges
out. Smoke escapes from the gaps.

The side door, accessing the garage, opens, and Chang comes
out coughing. He waves the smoke off with his hand.

A moment later the front door to go into the house opens, and
Harry comes out. Harry pauses to look at Chang.

HARRY
Dad? Are you okay?

CHANG
(coughs)
I'm fine. Where are you going?

HARRY
Wolf Cliff. To fight my bully.

CHANG
Wait, before you go, I have
something for you.

Chang goes into his pocket, and takes out something that
looks like a watch, but instead of a normal watch face there
is a large red button. He puts it on Harry's hand.

Harry looks at it.

HARRY
What is this?
CHANG
If you're losing the fight, press
the button. Okay?

HARRY
I'm not going to lose.

Harry walks off. Chang gives him a thumbs-up.

EXT. WOLF CLIFF DAY

It's a cliffy area, where a bunch of TEENAGERS are gathered.

They are on one side watching, while Harry and Dillon are
nearer to the edge, face to face, each in a fighting stance.

HARRY
Alright, let's do this...
 23.

Dillon and Harry begin circling each other.

HARRY (CONTD)
Wing Chun power!

Suddenly, Harry rushes forward, and tries throwing one of his

Wing Chun punches.

But Dillon chops at his leg with a low round-house kick

Harry falls onto his back.

Dillon springs on him, and holds him down in side control,

while beating him with numerous hammer fist strikes.

Harry weakly tries covering his face, but still gets a

pounding.

DILLON
Do you give up? DO YOU GIVE UP?!

HARRY
I, I give up. I give up...

Dillon gets off Harry, and stands.

DILLON
You make me sick!

Dillon spits on Harrys face. Harry wipes the spit off his
face.

Dillon then bends over, and takes the watch off Harry's
wrist. He gives it a look-see.
HARRY
Hey, what're you doing?

DILLON
What does it look like? I'm robbing
you, Fatty Arbuckle.

HARRY
Whatever you do, don't press the
button. Something bad will happen.

DILLON
Suck my dick! I'll do what I want!

Dillon presses the button on the watch. We hear a whistling

noise, and everyone looks up. A metal ball races down from
the sky, and clonks Dillon in the head, knocking him out.
 24.

HARRY
(looking up)
What the?

Harry gets up, walks over to metal ball (near Dillon), and
touches it. The metal ball suddenly fans open. There's a
folded piece of paper inside. Harry takes it, and reads it
aloud.

HARRY (CONTD)
(reading)
Dear Harry, no matter what happens
in your fight, I will always love
you. You are a brave, little boy.
Sincerely, your father, Chang
Wang.

Harry folds the note, and puts it in his back pocket. He then
places his foot on Dillon's chest, and raises his arms in
triumph.

A RANDOM TEENAGER clears his throat and speaks up.

RANDOM TEENAGER
Why are you doing that?

HARRY
Technically, I won this fight.
Right?

RANDOM TEENAGER
Yeah... Yeah, I guess you did!

The TEENAGERS in the crowd rush upon Harry, and lift him up.
They carry him off, while chanting his name.
TEENAGERS
HARRY! HARRY! HARRY! HARRY! HARRY!

As the voice of the teenagers fade out, we see Dillon still

unconscious on the ground. A pack of wolves in the distance
appear, and they look at him, like a fresh meal, and then
charge ahead.

INT. DINING ROOM, 90 KERRY CRES - DAY

Chang, Mindy, Craig, Emily, and Harry are around the dining
table having dinner.

CHANG
Sooo, Harry. I heard about the
fight. Congratulations. Now your
bully wont pick on you anymore.
 25.

HARRY
I dunno. He might just be angrier
than before.

EMILY
Either way, I cut off his hand.
There was so much blood!

MINDY
Please. Let's not talk about this
while we're eating.

CRAIG
How about some TV?

Craig uses the remote to turn on the TV by the end of the

dining table.

It's the news: NVC Worldnews. Its logo flashes on screen, and
then the tipsy newscaster MICHAEL MUNCH begin presenting. A
square image in the top right hand corner shows a picture of
a skeleton at Wolf Cliff.

MICHAEL MUNCH
(on TV)
Good evening. This is NVC
Worldnews. I'm Michael Munch. This
just in: The skeleton of a male
teenager has just been found on
Wolf Cliff. It is believed that the
individual, identified as student
Dillon Smith, was torn to pieces by
a pack of wolves. It was so
gruesome that they even ate all of
his clothes. But to be honest with
you, I'm not that sad that he died.
I mean, seriously, it's called
Wolf Cliff. Why would you go up
there? Talk about a Darwin Award.
LOL.

Michael Munch touches his earpiece.

MICHAEL MUNCH (CONTD)

(on TV)
It appears that I've been fired. My
producer tells me that I'm a drunk
idiot that can't stick to a script.

Michael sticks up his middles fingers.

MICHAEL MUNCH (CONTD)

Well, you know, what?! Fuck you,
Larry!
(MORE)
 26.
MICHAEL MUNCH (CONTD)
You think you can do a better job
than me? I'd like to see that!

On TV, two security guards descend upon Michael Munch, and

drag him away.

MICHAEL MUNCH (CONTD)

You can't do this to me! I'm a
union member, mother fuckers! I'll
be back! You know I will!

The TV screens shows an image saying: Technical

Difficulties. Please stand by.

MINDY
Omigoodness, Harry. Did you hear
that? Your bully was eaten alive by
wolves! Dont you feel sorry for
him?

Harry is silent for a moment, and then raises up his arms in

triumph.

THE END