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 Page 3
From ancient
Jerusalem. Left, jug
handles with Judean
Kingdoms rosette
seal. Below, miniature
ivory statue.

A 2,200-year-old bronze incense shovel found at Magdala

Uncovering the Galilees Uncovering

refugee priests
l The Romans razed the Second Tem-
ple in 70 C.E. Now, excavations in the
Galilee are bringing light on Jewish life
after that destruction.
A combination of recent findings
at Magdala home of Jesus disciple
Mary Magdalene point to a devel-
oped priestly culture with echoes of
ancient Jerusalem at the site.
The question scholars are now ex-
ploring is just how much of the Temple
practice the priests took along with
them when they fled.
In 2009, when a new visitors center
and hotel was proposed for the site, the
Israel Antiquities Authority began sal-
vage excavations. They uncovered an ex-
tremely rare early synagogue. As record-
ed in a May 2017 article in the Biblical
Archaeology Review, One of perhaps
only eight synagogues identified so far
in Israel as dating from the first century
C.E., it provided one splendid find the
so-called Magdala Stone, a Torah reading
table sculpted in stone with reliefs de-
picting a seven-branched menorah and
possibly the Jerusalem Temple.
The Stone, which is thought to have
based on an eyewitness account of
the Temple and the Holy of Holies, is
The Magdala Stone
The team found objects that priests
could have used should they have want-
ed to use the ritual theyd performed
at the Temple. They include chalkstone
vessels that were used to keep purified
water necessary for ritual purposes,
oil lamps like those used by priests in
Jerusalem, and a shovel that is an exact
copy of the ones used to pick up ember
incense ashes at the Temple.
In this context, we could imagine
some of these groups migrating north,
far from the dominant Roman occu-
pation, looking for a place to follow
their laws and traditions, like Magdala,
Zapata-Meza said.
the destruction
of Jerusalem
l Its been 2,602 years since Babylo-
nian invaders conquered and de-
stroyed Jerusalem and its Temple
an occasion marked on the Jewish
calendar on the 9th of Av, which falls
this Monday night and Tuesday.
But archaeologists continue to dig
up the ruins. According to Israel An-
tiquities Authority archaeologist Dr.
Joe Uziel, co-director of the excava-
tions at the City of David, findings
discovered in the sites eastern slope,
including a row of 2,600-year-old
rooms and their contents all cov-
ered with layers of charcoal ash aid
in understanding the days leading up
to the destruction, and what hap-
pened that day.
Rare artifacts, including a unique,
apparently Egyptian, ivory statue of
a nude woman, and smashed pottery
jars, sealed with a rosette that dated
to the final decade before the fall of
the First Temple, were discovered
there, according to co-director Ortal
Chalaf.
These seals are characteristic of
the end of the First Temple period
and were used for the administrative
system that developed towards the
end of the Judean dynasty, Chalaf
said. Classifying objects facilitated
controlling, overseeing, collecting,
marketing and storing crop yields.
The rosette, in essence, replaced the
For the King seal used in the earlier
administrative system.
According to biblical descriptions, in
586 B.C.E. the Babylonian king, Nebu-
chadnezzar, vanquished the Judaean
king, Zedekiah, and razed his capital
city, Jerusalem. The Babylonian cap-
tain of the guard, Nebuzaradan, was
dispatched to the city, where, as the
Book of Jeremiah tells us, he burned
the house of the Lord, and the kings
house, and all the houses of Jerusa-
lem, even every great mans house,
burned he with fire.
At the dig site, the rampant de-
struction caused by that inferno is
clearly visible. Layer of charcoal,
remnants of the destruction, pre-
served flooring and utensils in situ,
giving a stark picture of the blaze.
Amanda Borschel-Dan/Times of Israel

considered one of the most impressive Both physically and philosophically,

archaeological finds of the past half-
century in Israel.
In addition to the menorah, the
sculpted Magdala Stone also has four
horn-like protrusions that recall the
horns of sacrificial altars.
In seven years of intensive digs led by
Mexican archaeologist Marcela Zapata-
Magdala stands at the crossroads be-
tween Jewish, Roman, and Christian his-
tory of 2,000 years ago. Although some Candlelighting: Friday, July 28, 7:58 p.m.
800 ancient ritual baths have been
discovered in Israel, the four uncovered Shabbat ends: Saturday, July 30, 9:01 p.m.
at Magdala are the only ones found in
gentile cities, Zapata-Meza wrote in
a 2017 BAR article. Additionally, she
CONTENTS
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Meza, the site of ancient Magdala also wrote, most Jewish residents in cities is published weekly on Fridays with an additional edition
every October, by the New Jersey Jewish Media Group, 1086
has yielded four ritual baths (mikvaot) surrounding the Sea of Galilee would Noshes4 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666. Periodicals postage paid

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at the Herodian Quarter in Jerusalem, The ritual baths at Magdala uniquely cover story/rockland 18 is $30.00 per year. Out-of-state subscriptions are $45.00,
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according to Zapata-Meza. were filled with groundwater, not with oPINION 22 The appearance of an advertisement in The Jewish Standard

Zapata-Mezas team has also dug up
a marketplace, fishing pools, mosaics,
some 2,400 coins, and a wharf.
Scholars believe that as Jewish life
in Jerusalem became increasingly
untenable under the Roman invasion,
the priestly classes left the city for the
Galilee.
rainwater or natural spring systems.
According to Zapata-Meza, this sophis-
ticated plumbing is one more proof
that Magdala was at the forefront of
regional commerce and culture in the
first century.
In short, fit for a priest.
Amanda Borschel-Dan/Times of Israel
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of a paid political advertisement does not constitute an
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endorsement of any candidate political party or political
arts & culture 29 position by the newspaper or any employees.
calendar30 The Jewish Standard assumes no responsibility to return
unsolicited editorial or graphic materials. All rights in letters
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Jewish
JewishStandard
Standardmarch 3, 2017 3
July 28,
Noshes
AL GORE ENCORE:
From ozone heights
to Ozark trash
An Inconvenient
Sequel: Truth to
Power, opens in
limited release on Friday,
July 28, and nationwide
on August 4. It is, of
course, the sequel to An
Inconvenient Truth, the
2006 documentary,
directed by DAVIS
GUGGENHEIM, that won
the Oscar for best
documentary. The sequel
follows former Vice
President Al Gore (the
star of the original) as
he continues his fight to
rouse the world to take
action on climate
change. There are a lot of
behind-the-scenes
moments, some funny
and others poignant. The
film follows Gore as he
reaches the apex, to
date, of his efforts: the
signing of the Paris
Climate Agreement in
2016. The film was
re-edited just before
release to address
President Trumps recent
decision to take America
out of the Paris agree-
ment.
The co-directors are
BONNI COHEN, 52, and
JON SHENK, 48. Cohens
other credits include
producing The Rape of
Europa, a 2006 docu-
mentary about the Nazi
looting of European
art treasures, including
those owned by Jews.
Shenk was the cinema-
tographer on a PBS film
that Cohen produced:
Want to read more noshes? Visit facebook.com/jewishstandard
4 32185
JEWISHMBSE STANDARD
Strip Ad_2017.inddJULY
1 28, 2017
American Jerusalem:
Jews and the Making of
San Francisco (2014).
Last Friday, July 21,
Netflix began
streaming the first
10-episode season of
Ozark. It stars Jason
Bateman as Marty Byrde,
a Chicago financial
adviser; we quickly learn
that he has been laun-
dering money for a
Mexican drug cartel. The
cartel discovers that
Martys partner has been
skimming their money
and plans to kill both of
them. Marty comes up
with a plan that per-
suades them to let him
live. He, his wife (Laura
Linney) and their kids
will move to the Ozarks,
far away from prying
Feds, and launder a ton
of money for them.
Reviews range from
mixed to quite good.
Most critics say what
makes it a pretty good
show are the interesting
supporting characters.
Singled out in those roles
are JULIA GARNER, 23
(Perks of a Teenage
Wallflower), JORDANA
SPIRO, 39, and HARRIS
YULIN, 79. Garner plays
the 19-year-old leader
of a white trash gang
whose members think
they can get money out
of Marty. Spiro plays
the owner of a bar that
Marty invests in. Yulin
plays, in the words of the
Los Angeles Times: The
It was a terrible shock
because I was the best.
Margaret Bergmann Lambert, who died at 103 last week, was
the German Jewish (later American Jewish) high jumper whom the
Nazis kept out of the 1936 Berlin Olympics. The Nazis demanded
that she train but refused to let her compete; decades later
Germany apologized and named athletic facilities after her.
great story. Jay said
when Rodney was dying
in 2004, he visited him in
the hospital. Rodney was
semi-conscious. Rod-
neys wife told Jay to put
his finger in Rodneys
hand and told Rodney
that if he had heard what
she had said, he should
squeeze Jays finger.
Rodney squeezed the
finger. Jay said, Rodney,
Davis Guggenheim Bonni Cohen Jon Shenk thats not my finger.
Rodney let out a small
chuckle and Jay said
how happy it made him
to make the comedian
laugh on his deathbed.
Of course you
know that MARTIN
LANDAU died on
July 15 at 89. Here are
three things that come to
mind. First, see or re-see
the three movies that
revived his career late in
life: Crimes and Misde-
Julia Garner Jordana Spiro Harris Yulin meanors (WOODY
ALLENs most Jewish
unhurriedly dying old naturally enough, Lerpiss in seven episodes film and his best drama),
man who comes with the comedian JOE MANDE, of Parks and Recre- Tucker, an underrated
house the Byrdes buy. 34. You might not have ation.) Coppola picture, and Ed
You may not know heard of him but many I recently caught Wood. Second, in case
Yulins name, but you people have. His Twitter up, via YouTube, you didnt know, BAR-
know his face. Hes been account has a million with an appear- BARA BAIN, his ex-wife,
a supporting player in followers. He keeps them ance by Jay Leno on frequent co-star, and the
more than 100 films and entertained with an The Tonight Show on mother of his children, is
TV shows since 1970. He endless stream of jokes. April 7. It was just after Jewish and alive at 85.
was born in Los Ange- The special consists DON RICKLES died. Finally, Landau was a
les, the son of immigrant mostly of Mande deliver- Leno noted that so many kind, highly intelligent
parents. His last name ing political and pop greats of Rickles man who was making
originally was Goldberg. culture observations that generation had already and being cast in new
On Tuesday, July tend to be oriented to passed away, including films until his very short,
25, Netflix began people his age, or a bit RODNEY DANGER- fatal illness. If you gotta
streaming Joe younger, like the shows FIELD. Leno added that go, not bad to go out
Mandes Award Winning on MTV. (You might he was close to Rodney that way.
Comedy Special. It stars, know Mande as Morris and wanted to share a N.B.
California-based Nate Bloom can be reached at
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6/5/17 5:24 PM
JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017 5
Local
My whole bed was on fire
Pessy Schuman talks of life during, before, and after Rutherford synagogue bombing
Larry Yudelson
P
essy Schuman woke up to a
room in flames.
My whole bed was on fire,
she said last week. There
were walls of fire all across the carpets,
all across the furniture.
It was just before dawn on January 11,
2012, and her bedroom window, on the
upper floor of Congregation Beth El of
Rutherford, had been shattered by Molo-
tov cocktails thrown by Anthony Graziano
of Lodi, then 19.
Mr. Graziano is scheduled to be sen-
tenced for the attack this Friday, July 28.
So is his conspirator, the bombing mas-
termind, Aakash Dalal, who also was 19
in 2012. They face up to life in prison for
terrorism the prosecutors asked for 45
years and are the first to have been con-
victed under New Jerseys post-9/11 terror-
ism statutes.
Graziano was convicted of terrorism Congregation Beth El in Rutherford.
but acquitted of attempted murder. The
jury evidently preferred to convict him
for his actions committing a dangerous
crime to terrorize five or more persons
in the words of the statute rather than
to speculate on his motivations. Dalal was
not prosecuted for attempted murder in
his trial. But the question of whether the
pair wanted to kill the family or only to
burn down the building seemed obvious
to Ms. Schuman that January night, and
her feeling was borne out when the police
investigated and the full story emerged.
It has been five and a half years since
that night and Ms. Schuman still has Pessy Schuman
flashbacks and nightmares. The post-
traumatic stress has presented me with pain, she said.
Massive proportions of pain and challenges. The heal-
ing process has brought me to a place in life I hadnt seen
myself going to.
That included the end of a 17-year-career as a rebbetzin,
a divorce, and a new career as a licensed medical massage
therapist. She has remarried and lives in Teaneck with
her children.
Rabbi Schuman has a new congregation on Long Island
and is engaged to be married.
Looking back on that night, Ms. Schuman remembers
the panic and the fear, and she can see how events could
have taken a tragic turn. The shul had modernized some
of the windows in the building. But those through which
the bombs entered were still the old, heavy ones. In put-
ting together the firebomb, Graziano had used extra thick
oil so it would stick onto the skin, she said. Instead, the oil They retrieved the crucial evidence the homemade fire-
didnt soak into the bedspread, which was used to extin-
guished the flames by folding it onto itself.
I said, Get out, we have to get out! My ex-husband
didnt want the shul to burn down. He went to get a fire
extinguisher. I went to get the kids.
6 Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017
The Schumans five children then
ranged between 7 and 15. Now the old-
est is going to be a junior at Stern Col-
lege and the youngest will be in seventh
grade at Ben Porat Yosef Yeshiva Day
School in Paramus.
I went in to their bedrooms deter-
mined to sound calm and said, we
have to get out quickly, theres a fire,
lets go.
Things didnt stay calm. One daugh-
ter, half asleep, thought that a friend
who had spent the night the previous
Shabbat was still there and needed to
be saved from the fire too. She started
screaming, We have to get my friend! She wanted to go
back in, Ms. Schuman said.
Instinctively I knew I would have to keep track of who
left and who didnt, so I didnt take my children down-
stairs until all of us gathered. I took my children down-
stairs. I couldnt take them outside. I was thinking that if
theyre throwing bombs in, they will be waiting outside
to kill us.
I was on the phone with the police screaming.
The firemen came and finished putting out the fire.
Having gone the day before to the CSI Experience at Times
Square a game that allows players to pretend to solve
a crime I was scared to destroy the evidence and was
screaming to the firemen and policemen, Youre tram-
pling on the evidence!
In fact, the professionals knew what they were doing.
bombs made from soda bottles and ingredients bought
at Walmart. Before long, investigators were able to find
a Walmart customer who had bought the ingredients
a few days before the fire and they captured his image
from video footage of the transaction. He was identified
as Anthony Graziano. Ms.
Schuman saw some of the
evidence during one of her
meetings with the Bergen
County Prosecutors Office.
I saw the bottles, and the
bandana that was in the bot-
tle, the half that was used,
she said. The other half
was found as evidence in his
house.
That January night was not
the first time Ms. Schuman
had seen anti-Semitic vio-
lence directed toward her
house. The first time was
when she was a child in
Argentina, before her family
fled anti-Semitism there in
the 1980s.
There was so much of a
Nazi undercurrent in Argen-
tina, she said.
Ms. Schumans great
grandparents arrived in
Argentina in 1901, Jews fleeing Poland and Russia in a
time of mounting pogroms. They became cattle farmers
part of a project of European Jewish philanthropists, led
by Baron Maurice de Hirsch, to help destitute and perse-
cuted Eastern European Jews survive in South America.
The Jewish Colonization Association provided land and an
interest-free mortgage to the Jewish settlers. During the
projects heyday in 1930, 20,000 Jewish colonists farmed
2,000 square miles of land.
Her mother grew up on the farm. Ms. Schuman visited it
as a child. The kitchen was very primitive, she said. My
grandfather didnt have running water. They had a well.
Theres a horrible family story that involves the well.
My grandmother had a much younger sister, 20 years
younger, Ms. Schuman said. One day my grandmother
was supposed to be watching her. She was playing with
some matches I think they were in the barn she caught
fire. By the time my grandmother made it to the well, it
was too late.
Ms. Schumans father came from a family of musicians.
He was said to be a musical prodigy. He was the first violin-
ist for the Buenos Aires Philharmonic Orchestra. He was
a proud Jew and became more and more determined to
show it as he and his wife became more religious, under
the influence of Satmar chasidim.
It was not a good time or place to walk the streets in
Jewish garb.
I remember walking in the street and someone put-
ting a cigarette out on his arm, she said. I remember
people saying We should have turned you all into soap.
Yet he wasnt a Jew only in the streets; he was Jewish on
his job as well.
He was an exhibitionist, Ms. Schuman said. He
would wear his tzitzit and his kipah in the orchestra, when
theyre wearing a full tuxedo. My father was not making
any more friends as he was constantly shoving into their
faces that he was Jewish.

They would do horrible things to him. During his solo,
his sheet music would be gone. Or they let a mouse out
during his solo. They never could rattle him during the
performances, but it was just a constant feeling of being
persecuted. He was getting threats from his co-workers.
They were envious of his position. Hes Jewish, he doesnt
deserve it. One Yom Kippur he had by then started
keeping Shabbat he didnt go in to play at the matinee.
When he went to the next show, his co-workers attacked
him. They stomped on his head, they beat him up so badly
that he had a bald spot forever and ever. The police were
just standing there, doing nothing.
Ms. Schuman has a vague memory from when she
was 8 years old. We were coming upstairs to our floor in
the apartment building, she said. My father says, Get
the kids back in the elevator. Our front door had been
burst open, kind of like blown up. The lock had been
blown up. His co-workers had left a note: Get out!
The family did.
They came to America and settled in a Satmar commu-
nity in upstate New York.
The Satmar told my father that when he came to Amer-
ica he could play in the theater and be shomer Shabbat,
she said. He came to America and they put him to work
in a diamond factory. He wanted to play violin. He started
working a little with the Neginah Orchestra which
played Jewish weddings but it wasnt classical.
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It was not an auspicious beginning.
Young Pessys introduction to Satmar was not any
better.
I have horrible memories of the torture of not being
frum enough, she said. I didnt even know the language.
I remember one day a group of girls surrounded me. Do
you know what Bashefer is? they asked. Thats Yiddish
for the creator. Its basically God. I knew what Hashem
was. I said No, I dont. They taunted me, Youre a goy, they would really mean it, not like the fake people I had
youre a goy.
Before long the family moved to Williamsburg, Brook-
lyn, and were part of the Satmar community there. Pessys
father found work caring for old people. We were immi-
grants, she said. We lived in a one-bedroom apartment.
My mom babysat at night. Some of his fathers elderly
charges lived with them in the crowded apartment.
In Argentina, I was never allowed to tell anyone I was
Jewish when we went anywhere.
In high school, in the Bais Yaakov of Boro Park, I
asked how do we know God created the world? The
teacher said, Behave yourself! By the time I was in 12th
grade I wanted to go to college and study medicine. My
principal convinced me that I would be selling my soul
to the devil.
Instead she went to seminary, in Toronto and in Israel.
She taught for a year in the Bais Yaakov in Denver. She was
briefly in an arranged engagement to a fellow Argentinian.
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He was a member of the Satmar mafia, she said. He
had all these parking tickets in his car. I would say, Dont
double park. Well get a ticket, and he would say, Dont
worry. I have it taken care of. That was one of many red
flags. She ended the engagement. Years later he landed in
jail, convicted for identity theft and white collar crimes.
She was introduced to Nosson Schuman. I wanted
someone who was also a baal teshuva, she said. I knew
found in Brooklyn.
He wanted to be a rabbi out-of-town that is, out in
non-Brooklyn, less-Jewish America.
After a little more than a handful of non-hand-holding
Orthodox dates and a five week engagement, they married.
They did go out of town. Their first pulpit where she
became a rebbetzin was in Santa Barbara, California.
The family later would move to Pawtucket, Rhode Island;
Youngstown, Ohio; and Indianapolis, Indiana small cities
where Rabbi Schuman might be the only Orthodox rabbi
before making their way to Rutherford. The small con-
gregation there had only 20 families but was just a mile
away from Passaic and its intense Orthodox community.
I dont regret it for a minute, Ms. Schuman said of her
years as a rebbetzin, though she had tired of the role by
the end. There are incredible people out there.
There were the women she studied with for conversion
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Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017 7
Local
Interfaith in Israel
Fair Lawn rabbi joins colleagues and Catholic clergy for convivience
JOANNE PALMER
O
ver the nearly two thousand
years it has unfolded, the
relationship between the
Catholic church and the Jews
generally has not been very good.
It has, in fact, most often characterized
by power and its abuse on one side, and
powerlessness, fear, extortion, blood,
torture, and death on the other.
But things change, times change, under-
standings change, and at times even
deeply entrenched suspicions can change.
There has been a great deal of inter-
faith work that has mended some of the
rifts between Jews and Catholics, partic-
ularly since the reforms of Vatican II in
1963, and the evident good will of Pope
John XXIII and most of the pontiffs who
followed him.
Still, among some of the most striking
scenes at the conference that a Catho-
lic lay outreach organization called
the Neocatechumal Way held in Israel
in May showed Catholics and Jews not
only learning, talking, but even pray-
ing together. Videos show Jews saying
the Shema as the Catholics listen rever-
ently and some seen to join them. And
thats because the Catholics goal was
to learn from the Jews. Not to convert
them, not to coerce them, but to learn
from them.
The conference called a convivi-
ence, using the Latin root vivere, to live
brought together 400 people, about
160 of them rabbis, the rest of them
Catholic clergymen, including a cardi-
nal from Addis Ababa and another from
India, and laypeople to learn from the
rabbis, who range the gamut from Ortho-
dox to Reform, and who included such
luminaries as Yitz Greenberg, the mod-
ern Orthodox rabbi who started Clal, and
Rabbi David Rosen of the American Jew-
ish Committee. (There were, however, no
women rabbis. That would have been a
bridge too far.)
The rabbis also included Alberto
Change Your Perspective. Change Your Situation.
For confidential consultation please call 201-837-9090 or visit us at www.jfcsnnj.org
8 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017
Baruch Zeilicovich of Tem-
ple Beth Sholom in Fair
Lawn, who talked about
his experiences at the
four-day conference with
great enthusiasm.
The conference was
Rabbi Zeilicovichs first
with the Neocatechumal
Way, but not his first
experience with interfaith
work. Rabbi Zeilicovich is
from Argentina; he grew
up during the time of the Rabbi Alberto Zeilicovich
junta, when Argentina
was controlled by the military, who shut
up dissidents by such effective means as
dropping them out of airplanes. Inter-
faith work was a good way for dissidents
to get together, Rabbi Zeilicovich said,
because the junta did not want to appear
to be going after religious people. But out values and draws people to them and
of a political need grew a genuine desire
to learn more, and to study together, he
said. Thats how I came to understand
the power of interfaith activities and the
impact they can have on the larger soci-
ety, he said.
Rabbi Zeilicovich went to Medellin,
Colombia, after he was ordained. I gave
a lot of lectures to the Roman Catholic
seminary there, and participated in inter-
faith activities with a Franciscan priest,
Francisco Lotero, he said. We became
very good friends. His next stop was
Puerto Rico, and there I taught Judaism
at an evangelical seminary. After that,
the rabbi went to Fort Worth, and I was
part of an interfaith group that brought
Jews, Roman Catholic priests, and evan-
gelical pastors together.
It was a very active group, he contin-
ued. We always had an activity study-
ing, talking about the common problems
and challenges we all had, in churches
and synagogues. He also led two inter-
faith missions to Israel, working with an
evangelical church.
So when the Neocatechumal Way
planned this years convivience, its
Change Your Life.
Discreet Confidential Compassionate
Individual, couples and family counseling available.
Observant male and female social workers on staff.
leaders decided to invite
Rabbi Zeilicovich.
The Neocatechumal
Way is an attempt to
b r i n g Ro m a n C at h o -
lic people back to the
Roman Catholic church,
Rabbi Zeilicovich said. It
does internal outreach,
in ways that will remind
Jews of keruv, the out-
reach Jews do to try to
get back unaffiliated or
disaffected young peo-
ple. The Neocatechumal
Way, he said is evangelical in its struc-
ture and mission, but it is Catholic, not
Protestant. Its leaders are lay people,
often professionals, who devote their
lives and dedicate their families to living
in a way that exemplifies the churchs
to the church they represent.
The Neocatechumal Way is active in
about 20,000 communities, mostly in
Central America, Rabbi Zeilicovich said.
So where do Jews come in? Not as
potential converts, Rabbi Zeilicovich
said. Thats not it at all. They claim that
We have not had
such a good
history with the
Roman Catholic
church, and this
is a complete
turnaround.
they cannot be good Christians if they
dont know Jesus better, and to know
Jesus better they have to know Juda-
ism better. Because Jesus was a Jew, he
lived like a Jew, he thought like a Jew, he
believed like a Jew. Therefore it is crucial
for them to have a relationship with all
streams of Judaism, for them to know
who Jesus was spiritually.
So thats what the Catholics got from
the Jews at the convivience. What did
the Jews get from it? We benefit from
the dialogue, Rabbi Zeilicovich said.
We benefit from it because the more the
Roman Catholic church knows about us,
the less prejudice they will have.
Its a new angle on an old problem, he
continued. We have not had such a good
history with the Roman Catholic church,
and this is a complete turnaround. Its
like when you make a hamburger, or
a pancake, and you flip it over. This is
exactly a 180-degree flip.
And with that flip done, the newly
turned groups can discover shared prob-
lems, much as the other interfaith groups
to which hes belonged have done. For
example, the secularization of society,
he said. It is happening in synagogues,
in Roman Catholic churches, and in other
churches as well.
The conference was held at the
Domus Galilaeae, a Christian confer-
ence center overlooking the Sea of Gal-
ilee on the hill known to Christians as
the Mount of Beatitudes. All the food
was kosher. All the Roman Catholics
who were there ate only kosher food,
Rabbi Zeilicovich said. The Neocate-
chumal Ways founder, Kiko Arguello,
wrote a symphony called The Suffer-
ings of the Innocent, in which he put
together the suffering of the Jews in the
concentration camps and the sufferings
of Jesus, he continued. Both suffered
from the sin of omission nobody said
anything about what was happening to
them. They all were innocent.
The conference opened and closed
by everyone who knew the song singing
Hine may tov how good it is when
brothers can sit together.
According to Rabbi Zeilicovich, broth-
ers can and should and even at times do
sit together, and when they do the world
is made a bit better.
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Local
Giving the gift of life
Local rabbi/kidney donor says Its a great thing to be able to do
LOIS GOLDRICH
R
enewal, the Brooklyn-based
nonprofit organization that
works to save lives through
kidney donations, wont
work with just any hospital.
The hospital has to have the same
philosophy as ours, said Rabbi Josh
Sturm, Renewals director of outreach.
Donors need to be treated as heroes.
The proverbial red carpet should be
rolled out for them.
While kidney donor Rabbi Shelley
Kniaz of Teaneck who donated a kid-
ney at NewYork-Presbyterian/Weill Cor-
nell Medical Center on Tuesday says
she was treated extremely well by hos-
pital staff, she doesnt feel like a hero.
Its a great thing to be able to do,
she said. Quality of life and length of
life is the gift youre giving someone.
Not to mention the fact that during the
long period of testing, I found out that
Im as healthy as a horse. And as if
this werent enough her doctor told
her she had a beautiful kidney.
But yes, she said, she did receive the
royal treatment during the few days she
had to stay in the hospital. I had a sin-
gle room, Renewal sent people to visit,
with gifts, robes, and slippers, and they
After the euphoria lifts, you
realize you have to face the
recovery process. OK, you say,
it will take two weeks at least
until Im feeling like I can move
normally. Its just a matter
of adjusting.
checked in a lot. Not only that, but the
hospital has a fantastic staff.
Renewal, now nearly 11 years old, has
helped facilitate several hundred trans-
plants. While the organization wont
turn anyone away, its waiting list is 95
percent Jewish.
Were a Jewish organization and
were not embarrassed about that,
Rabbi Sturm said. But with that said,
our doors are open. We tend to stick
within the Jewish community because it
matches our skill set and we dont have
resources [to help] everybody.
Rabbi Kniaz, the director of congre-
gational education at Temple Emanuel
of the Pascack Valley in Woodcliff Lake,
reported after her procedure that the
incision is small and doesnt cause a lot
of pain at all. During the procedure,
10 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017
her stomach had to be filled with gas; to
relieve the discomfort this causes, now
that shes back home she goes for walks.
In a brilliant move which gives well-
wishers a chance to visit with her while
she gets in the walking she needs she
created an online signup sheet for walk-
ing partners.
Renewal liked that, Rabbi Kniaz
said.
Really, Im not suffering, she added,
though its still a bit uncomfortable to
stand up and sit down, she said. She
described the surgeon who did the lap-
aroscopic operation as amazing and
pointed out that the hospital has done
many such operations, with an excel-
lent track record.
She has had no second thoughts
about the donation. After the eupho-
ria lifts, you realize you have to face the
recovery process, she said. OK, you
say, it will take two weeks at least until
Im feeling like I can move normally. Its
just a matter of adjusting. But unlike
many patients, for whom surgery is not
optional, I had the benefit of feeling
good about doing it.
Rabbi Kniaz said that about eight years
ago, Rabbi Ephraim Simon, the co-direc-
tor of Friends of Lubavitch of Bergen
County in Teaneck, donated a kidney,
and it was something that definitely
piqued my interest. Later, in 2015, Rabbi
Larry Rothwachs, raised in Fair Lawn
and now the religious leader of Teanecks
Beth Aaron, did the same thing.
It was on my mind, but it wasnt in
the cards then, Rabbi Kniaz said. But
about a year ago, friends from her own
synagogue, Congregation Beth Sholom
in Teaneck, started letting people know
that they needed a donor. I wavered
at first, but six months later I casually
asked them about it.
The couple, Leon and Michal Lissek,
told her about Renewal, so she called
the organization and learned about
the process. They matched me with
women my age who had done it so I
could hear about the recovery, she
said. Theyre so happy theyve done it.
Rabbi Shelley Kniaz
Im sorry I only had one, someone told
me. I would do it again. that. Hes talented, a Holocaust sur-
It was a long process, but Renewal
really facilitates everything, Rabbi Kniaz
continued. At a recent educational and
awareness session on kidney donation
held at Beth Sholom, I learned that in
most cases where people donate, you
may have to go in three or four times. But
Renewal arranged that I could do it on
one long day. They try to make it so you
dont have to wait around.
The rabbi told the Lisseks that she was
starting the testing process and that she
would keep them updated. Her intention
was to donate the kidney to Leon, should
she choose to proceed. I knew that it
gave them a lot of hope, she said. While
she thought briefly about not telling them
in case she was disqualified or changed
her mind she ultimately decided that
the issue was so pressing that she needed
to be very honest about it.
In the meantime, she asked her hus-
band, Rabbi Eliezer Diamond, professor
of Talmud and rabbinics at the Jewish
Theological Seminary, to have his kid-
ney checked. What will happen if you
donate and then a family member needs
it? she said a social worker asked her.
Will you regret it?
I said, Yes, but it wont be debilitat- received her kidney.
ing. Hopefully, they can get the same
help. As it happens, her kidney was not
a match for Leon Lissek, but she moved
forward and donated her kidney to some-
one else. In the meantime, a donor has
been identified for Leon one of his for-
mer students from St. Louis and his
transplant will take place in early August.
So he would have gotten one anyway.
But during the six months they knew I
was testing, it gave them a tremendous
amount of hope.
Rabbi Kniaz remembers that at one
point she taught a session on live organ
donation at a Melton Adult Program eth-
ics course. At the time, the risks were
higher and the success rate was lower,
she said. Now, theres little debate.
Jews can be really proud of how much
we step up. Renewals goal is that peo-
ple will not have to wait more than six
months for a kidney.
Not only has her Teaneck congre-
gation been supportive, she said, but
I spoke to Richard Tannenbaum
Temple Emanuels executive director
from an employee point of view, and
he told me he was sure that the board
would say to take all the time I need.
Not only did the shul provide a meal
this Shabbat but the Sunday morning
minyan sent flowers and nice messages.
Why did she do it? Leon Lissek is an
extraordinarily sweet person, Rabbi
Kniaz said. Everyone will tell you
vivor, warm, loving, with a beautiful
neshama. She has known him as a Beth
Sholom fellow congregant for more than
15 years. And when she was well into the
testing process, she remembered that
many years ago, at home in Madison,
Wisconsin, she had taught a boy who
grew up to become his son-in-law.
For his part, Cantor Lissek who
served Congregation Bnai Amoona
in St. Louis, Mo., for some 30 years
calls Rabbi Kniaz an angel. He also
uses that term to describe the woman
whose kidney he soon will receive. That
second donor, whom he once taught
when she was a child, is the daughter
of the man who was president of Bnai
Amoona when he worked there.
As a survivor, with difficult memories
of his youth, I got to appreciate good
people as I got older, Cantor Lissek
said. I have encountered many good
people being a cantor. The world is
made up of angels and good people.
Rabbi Kniaz, he said, not only saved his
life when she agreed to donate her
kidney he was moved to the top of the
recipient list but she also saved the
life of the young woman who ultimately
While Cantor Lissek is a bit apprehen-
sive, I think it will be wonderful, he
said of the upcoming transplant. Ill do
everything the doctor tells me to do. At
the age of 81, he is in good health, walks
45 minutes a day, works with a personal
trainer, and eats the proper food. My
numbers are pretty good.
In addition to insisting that hospitals
treat donors with special care, Renewal
works only with hospitals with which
we are comfortable, Rabbi Sturm said.
The organization requires that the hos-
pitals have a lot of experience with the
 Local

A graduate degree in education from

Touro College is a lesson plan for success.
procedure. He cited Mt. Sinai, for example, which
does 200 a year.
When people call Renewal for help in securing
a transplant, we ask they what hospital theyre
working with, he continued. They need to be reg-
istered at one of the hospitals we work with. I wish
we had a refrigerator full of kidneys, but we dont.
We go over with them what we can provide. Jennah Schuh
What they can offer is marketing and stratey Assistant Principal
ASHAR
to help the patients be able to market themselves Touro College
and hopefully find a kidney donor. We get them Graduate School of Education
to the finish line. Our donor coordinators hold M.S., General & Special Ed
their hands through the arduous process. The M.S., School Leadership
marketing Renewal provides includes the use of
an in-house design person to create fliers, set up
a Facebook page, and so on. The goal is to get the
word out there. The more proactive people are, the
greater the likelihood of finding potential donors.
Rabbi Sturm often speaks at educational programs
such as the one Beth Sholom held. Not only are
these program helpful in themselves, he said, but
they may provide multiple potential donors.
Some donors walk in off the street, he said. I
wish the numbers were larger, but probably two
dozen come in every year. Still, he said, those
people only dent the list of people waiting for kid-
neys. When Renewal was created, we wanted to
do one transplant a year. The next year, the orga-
nization doubled its goal to two. Last year, Renewal
arranged 67 transplants.
Rabbi Sturm said the number of people requiring
kidneys has been increasing dramatically, though
WHY PROFESSIONALS LIKE JENNAH CHOOSE TOURO VISIT GSE.TOURO.EDU
he cant say for sure why that is. Ive spoken to
COLLEGES GRADUATE SCHOOL OF EDUCATION TO for a schedule of Open
different doctors, he said, citing the reasons they Houses
ADVANCE THEIR CAREER:
suggest. First, the top few causes of kidney failure
include high blood pressure and diabetes and Touro College
As the resource room coordinator, many of my decisions and
Graduate School of Education
we are seeing an increase in the number of obese leadership styles were based on trial and error. I returned to graduate 43 West 23rd Street, NY, NY
Americans. Second, given a technical change 212. 463.0400 ext. 5837
school to gain the skills to be more effective. My professors and
in how medical conditions are classified, more
people are allowed to be placed on a waiting list. deans were so invested in each student. They were committed to
Third, with dialysis able to extend life at least for helping me not only with the courses I was taking at that time,
five years, some potential recipients who in earlier
but became integral in helping me set a career path. When it was

years might have died while waiting for a kidney
stay on the list much longer.
Rabbi Sturm said that the average age of donors
is the mid-40s. Interestingly, his organization has
seen the inverse of national statistics, which show
that women donors outnumber men. The mini-
mum age for donation is 18, but we havent had
anyone below the age of 21, he said. We dont feel
theyre of the right mindset. While the maximum
age is 70, the group had a donor who was 71.
In the United States, over 97,000 people are
on waiting list, and only about 16,000 to 17,000
Attend an Open House and
time to find a School Leadership program, I chose Touro again
the application fee will be
looking for a similar experience, and it was superb. The Touro School waived.
Leadership Program has given me the skills, knowledge and Learn about opportunities for
teachers to earn certifications
credentials for a successful career.
and paraprofessionals to
become certified teachers.
Touro is an equal opportunity institution. For Touros complete Non-Discrimination Statement, visit www.touro.edu

transplants happen each year, he said. About five

thousand to six thousand people die while on the
waiting list. It continues to build up.
Back 28 years ago, in 1989, the waiting list was
18,000; now its about 100,000. Some of those on
the list are children, but its amazing the way God More than 411,000 likes
created the human body. A childs body can take a
larger kidney.
Why should people become donors? Kidney
Like us on Facebook
donation offers an amazing opportunity to liter-
ally save a life, Rabbi Sturm said. Theres nothing facebook.com/jewishstandard
more special than doing that.

JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017 11

Local

FIRST PERSON

People power in motion

Jersey residents rally in Washington for Planned Parenthood
LOIS GOLDRICH bottom of CNN that day declared Trump

N
ot many things could
coax me out of my
air-conditioned home
in July to spend nine
hours on a bus OK, it was air-
conditioned and had wi-fi, but still
and then six hours or so in the
steamy heat of Washington D.C.
But some things are just too
important to forego, even in such Lois Goldrich
torrid conditions.
One of those things is Planned Parenthood now under
threat from proposed health care legislation that would elimi-
nate funding for this widely used, and grossly maligned, orga-
nization, which provides essential health services to women
and their families.
Planned Parenthood works with more than 8,000 women
each day, offering them services that range from mammo-
grams, to STD testing, to counseling on birth control. Sadly,
however, although helping desperate women obtain abor-
tions is a relatively small part of its job, the forces that oppose
the organization would have us believe that its all Planned
Parenthood does.
The monster that is the proposed new health care bill
seems, like the hydra, to have many heads; so early on
Wednesday morning I boarded a chartered bus in Wayne,
headed for a Planned Parenthood Day of Action in the nations
capital. Coincidentally, the news headline streaming at the
to GOP: No Health Care Plan, No Vacation.
About 70 people came on two buses
from New Jersey but even the people
who didnt come, at least the ones I spoke
with beforehand, said I should march for
them as well. This included my editor, a
rabbi recuperating after donating a kidney
(see story on page 10), the checkout lady at
a Delaware rest stop, and my handyman,
who told me that when his wife was preg-
nant, they turned to Planned Parenthood
for help, since at the time they couldnt
afford health insurance.
So who was on the bus? People like me.
You dont look like a protester, said the
friend who drove me to the bus. Nor did
the old and young women (and man) who
joined me on this journey. Which raises the
question: What does a protester look like? Senator Cory Booker, front left, joins a delegation of New Jersey
All of us had our own reasons for com- residents in Washington to support Planned Parenthood.
ing. And believe me, this was not just a
pleasant outing, as anyone who ever has used a cramped toi- every person has a right to control her own body, she decided
let on a rapidly moving vehicle can attest. For some women, that she should come. A second student, who used Planned
this was a reunion, for others, it was a new experience. Parenthoods services while in college as did I said that she
One young mother, two young children (one a babe in arms) would hate to see that resource taken away.
in tow, said this was a wonderful opportunity for her children A lovely old-timer, originally from Chicago who knew
to see history in the making. Another woman, a senior in col- D.C., she said, like the back of her hand has been a supporter
lege who had a flexible summer internship, said that because of Planned Parenthood for decades. She recalled advising her
she was able to come, and because she strongly believes that sister many years ago to visit the organization for counseling

Mahwah mayor wants to talk with eruv association

South Monsey group the eruv that encompasses much of Rockland County.
is cited for violating I left several messages to say I would like to learn more
about an eruv, and would like to learn more about their inten-
utility pole ordinance tions, he said. We are a very diverse community. There
LARRY YUDELSON are some 20 houses of worship in Mahwah. The situation at

W
illiam Laforet would like to have a con-
versation with the South Monsey Eruv
Association.
Mr. Laforet is the mayor of Mahwah,
which last week cited the eruv association for violating its
ordinance barring signs on utility polls.
Back in May, he had discovered that strips of half-inch plas-
tic tubing had been placed on utility poles in his town. The
hand is something we could resolve if get a chance to speak
to somebody.
He explained that under the towns ordinance banning
signs, a sign is defined as an instrument that attracts your
attention and directs you to do something. He said that the
markers that demarcate the eruv are a sign that the area is
enclosed by the eruv, and they direct observant Jews to stay
within the perimeter if they wish to carry on Shabbat. Robert Ferguson of Mahwah addresses a gathering
However, similar claims have not fared well in court; pre- discussing the eruv on Monday. VOSIZNEIS.COM

same thing was happening in nearby Upper Saddle River and
in Montvale. Those three towns, in the northwest corner of
Bergen County, are immediately across the border from New
York States Rockland County.
Mr. Laforet called the Orange and Rockland Utilities, which
owns the poles, when he found them. They explained to me
that a permit had been acquired by these people for the plac-
ing of these markings on the pole for an eruv, and they had no
obligation to notify the communities, he said.
An eruv is a legal fiction that enables observant Jews to
carry in a public area on Shabbat by creating a notional wall
consisting of vertical poles the plastic piping topped by
wires in this case, the existing utility lines.
So Mr. Laforet called the eruv committee, which coordinates
vious rulings have said that eruv associations in Tenafly and
New Yorks Hamptons have First Amendment rights to use
the utility poles.
Theres no way for me to know where any sign violations
end up, Mr. Laforet said. Generally speaking, residents will
take down signs that are noted by the zoning official. Thats
been our experience and we hope thats the case here.
Public opposition to the eruv in Mahwah has grown since
the order to take down the markers were publicized.
More than 1,200 people signed an online petition calling
for the eruv to be taken down. Many of the dozens of com-
ments accompanying the petition, titled Protect the Quality
of our Community in Mahwah, refer to these people and
express concerns about falling property values. Most of them
are anonymous.
I dont want these rude, nasty, dirty people who think they
can do what they want in our nice town, one of the com-
ments reads.
Another says: I do not want the town of Mahwah to turn
into an undesirable place to live. These people do not assimi-
late with other people outside their community. I do not want
them controlling our school board and siphoning funds for
their yeshivas. Also, they buy houses which they claim is for
religious purposes and do not pay taxes. They should stay
where they are and leave our town alone.
Former town Councilman John Roth, who started the peti-
tion, told the Bergen Record that he closed it because of the

12 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017 12
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Yet another fellow passenger reported that in the 1970s, Chronic Illness
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A young man on my bus revealed that he was there on
behalf of his mother and sisters. His mother, he said, had
been a victim of statutory rape; fortunately she had been
able to obtain an abortion. That, he said, allowed her to

ATE
carry on with her life and move forward, though she still
carries the psychological scars.
D
An eloquent supporter of Planned Parenthood told me
E THE
SAV
she is insulted that men make assumptions about wom-

LAST CALL
ens decisions. Why, she asked, should they decide what
she should do? After all, a womans decision is heartfelt
and based on what is best for her life. They are so hung
up on abortion issues, she said, noting that while some-

SALE STARTS
thing may not be desirable, it may be the best option for
a woman and her family. Why, she asked, are there no
corresponding laws regulating paternal responsibilities?
Once we boarded the bus, it was clear that there was

Wed. Aug. 2nd

work to do. Ten minutes into the ride, we were told that
Wednesday mornings are a great time to call our state leg-
islators, so why not whip out our cell phones and call our
legislative members to discuss their recent vote on restor-
ing funds for family planning organizations? Fortunately,

DONT MISS
my calls were easy, since both of my assemblymen, Tim
Eustace and Joseph Lagana, had voted to restore funds.

80OFF
Sadly, the measure failed anyway.
On arrival, we were given a crash course in pinking

THIS SALE
Capitol Hill, offering passersby a pink sticker indicating

%
support for our cause. Only one woman growled at me,
but we were under strict orders not to growl back. Later
in the day, we gathered for our own rally, waving signs and
clapping and booing at the appropriate times.
SEE PEOPLE POWER PAGE 35 UP TO

tenor of the comments it attracted.

On Monday night, more than 200 residents gathered
to protest the eruv.
We do not not want these people living in our neigh-
borhoods, the Orthodox website VosIzNeias.com quoted
Mahwah resident Robert Ferguson as telling the meeting.
We want them following the law.
Mr. Ferguson went on to note that a recent ordinance
barred nonresidents from using the public park, a mea-
sure passed in response to busloads of out-of-state visitors.
He compared the situation in Mahwah to those in Rock-
land County and in Lakewood, in Ocean County. In both
those places, the growth of large communities of ultra-
Orthodox Jews have coincided with repeated deep cuts
to public school budgets, and to high and increasing ten-
ALL STORES
sions between various groups there.
Sandy Eller, who reported on the gathering for VosIzNe-
ias.com, wrote that as a visibly Orthodox person, Several BORO PARK: FLATBUSH: LONG ISLAND: LAKEWOOD: TEANECK:
people told me I was not welcome during the meeting and 5020 13th Avenue 1505 Coney Island Ave. 467 Central Avenue 1700 Madison Ave. 215 W. Englewood Ave.
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face repeatedly as people snapped pictures of both me Sunday & Legal Holidays 10 - 6, Sunday & Legal Holidays 10-6, Sunday & Legal Holidays 10-6, Sunday & Legal Holidays 10-6, Mon.-Thurs. 10 - 9, Friday 10 - 2:45
and my press credentials.
Mon. - Wed. 10 - 7, Thurs. 10 - 8, Friday 10-2:45 Mon. - Wed. 10-7, Thurs. 10-9, Fri. 10-2:45 Mon., Tues. & Thurs. 10-7, Wed. 10-9, Fri.10-2:45 Mon. - Thurs. 10-7, Friday 10-2:45 Closed Saturday & Sunday

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2 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017 13
Briefly Local
Members of the tour group gather in front of the Kotel in Jerusalem. 
Temple Emeth members travel to Prague and Israel
Congregants from Temple Emeth in Teaneck traveled to Prague and Israel from June 28 to July 11 with their rabbi, Steven
Sirbu, who here is shown kneeling, center. Makor Educational Journeys organized the tour.
Teach NJS wins big budget increase
The New Jersey legislature and Gover-
nor Chris Christie delivered a budget that
includes substantial increases in aid for
nonpublic school students in New Jersey,
including Jewish day schools and yeshivas,
Teach NJS reported. Teach NJS is a project
of day schools across the state, the Ortho-
dox Union, and several Jewish federations.
The fiscal year 2018 budget (which
began July 1) allocates $40 million in gov-
ernment aid for New Jerseys nonpub-
lic schools on a per pupil basis, $6 mil-
lion more than for this school year. New
Jerseys Jewish day schools will receive
approximately $11 million, a $1.7 million
increase over this year.
This budget victory is an 18 percent
increase from the current year and a 42
percent increase since Teach NJSs incep-
tion. The funding includes increases for
security, nursing aid, and technology.
The security funding represents a 50
percent increase from this year and was
a particularly pressing issue in the light
of increased threats and vandalism in the
Jewish community.
Teach NJS worked with a grassroots net-
work of schools, parents, and lay leaders
to advocate for Jewish schools in Trenton.
Throughout 2017, Teach NJS held meetings
with top New Jersey government leaders
and brought elected officials to New Jer-
sey Jewish day schools including Moriah,
Ben Porat Yosef, and Yavneh to talk to
students and discuss the schools needs
with administrators.
14 Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017
Teach NJS worked closely with Assembly
Budget Chair Gary Schaer, Senate Budget
Chair Paul Sarlo, Assembly Speaker Vin-
cent Prieto, Senate President Steve Swee-
ney; and Governor Christie.
We are so pleased with this signifi-
cant advance for New Jersey nonpub-
lic schools, Mark Bane, president of the
Orthodox Union, said. We thank both
the legislature and Gov. Christie for deliv-
ering for our children, and we express
our appreciation to the thousands of par-
ents and New Jersey citizens who pur-
sued efforts in support of this important
undertaking.
While we still have some ways to go
to achieve full parity with public schools,
there is a recognition in state government
that nonpublic school students deserve
access to basic services, Teach NJS co-
chair Sam Moed said. The legislature and
governor deserve credit for this important
step.
Teach NJS is extremely grateful to the
New Jersey legislature and Gov. Christie for
increasing state aid for nonpublic schools,
said Josh Caplan, state director of Teach
NJS. Teach NJS would like to specifically
thank Assembly Budget Chair Gary Schaer
for his leadership in the successful pas-
sage of this bill. We also could not have
achieved this victory without the help of
the schools, parents, lay leaders, and our
partners at the Jewish Federation of North-
ern New Jersey who dedicate themselves
every day to fighting for our kids.
Help Wayne kids
go back to school
in fitting style
As part of its community outreach program-
ming, the Wayne Interfaith Network helps
local children start off the school year with a
new back-to-school outfit and a pair of shoes.
Children up to 16 years old whose families
receive assistance from the WIN food pantry
receive gift cards to a local clothing store.
WIN is a coalition of volunteers from local
houses of worship and service organizations
in the greater Wayne area that provides non-
perishable food and other basic necessities to
needy Wayne residents. WINs support pro-
grams include an active food pantry, Summer
Sneakers & Tees, and Thanksgiving Baskets.
This year, WIN helped nearly 56 children
buy new sneakers and a T-shirt for the sum-
mer. WIN encourages local people and ser-
vice-oriented organizations (religious, ethnic,
2
cultural, political, educational, etc.) to con- f
Barbara Balkin
sider making a monetary donation to WIN T
specifically earmarked for Back-to-School. w
Checks can be sent to the Wayne Interfaith C
Network, POB 3341,Wayne, NJ 07474-3341. For m
information, go to www.winfoodpantry.org, r
email info@winfoodpantry.org, or call (973) A
595-1900. WIN is a 501(c)(3) organization.
1
r
Feit attends Brandeis medical summit w
M
Jacob Feit represented including fellows of the f
Tenafly High School American Association n
and New Jersey at the for the Advancement of q
Global Youth Summit Science, and medical s
on the Future of Medi- researchers and innova-
cine hosted by Brandeis tors. Dr. David Roberts, t
University in Waltham, dean of external educa-
Mass. The summit, tion at Harvard Medical
which met this year from School, gave the sum-
June 25 to July 1, is a mits keynote addresses.
prestigious and challeng- The seven-day residen-
ing program for rising Jacob Feit tial program was held on
high school juniors and  Photo provided the Brandeis campus as
seniors with a passion for well as at other places in
medicine and science, and who are lead- Boston. Each year, it welcomes delegates
ers in their schools and communities. from across the country and around
Summit delegates get behind-the- the world. Aligned with Brandeis elite
scenes insight into the world of health admissions standards, only students
care through experiential learning, with exceptional academic records and
guest lectures, and networking oppor- test scores as well as documented inter-
tunities with leaders and innovators in est in a medical or health career were
the global medical community. They invited to apply. Jacob was among a
heard from Brandeis faculty members, select few chosen to attend.
Keep us informed
We welcome photos of community events. Photos must be high resolution
jpg files. Please include a detailed caption and a daytime telephone. Mailed
photos will only be returned with a self-addressed stamped envelope. Not
every photo will be published.
PR@jewishmediagroup.com (201) 837-8818 x 110
NJ Jewish Media Group, 1086 Teaneck Rd., Teaneck, NJ 07666
www.thejewishstandard.com

Dennis Heck, board member and prin-
cipal of Teaneck High School, presents
award to Elyssa Deutsch Goldenfarb.
2 former Teaneck students honored
for outstanding athletic careers
Two former Teaneck residents who
were members of the Teaneck Jewish
Community Center were among 15 for-
mer Teaneck High School athletes who
recently were inducted into the Teaneck
Athletic Hall of Fame.
Elyssa Deutsch Goldenfarb, class of
1992, and Steven Siegel, class of 1966,
received many awards and set records
while playing for Teaneck High School.
Ms. Goldenfarb was honored for tennis,
fencing, and golf, and Mr. Siegel for ten-
nis and soccer. Their accomplishments
qualified them for recognition as out-
standing athletes of their decade.
The Teaneck Athletic Hall of Fame was
the vision of James Vuono, a former THS
BCHSJS educators attend workshop
The Center for Israel Educa-
tion and the Emory Institute for
the Study of Modern Israel held
the 16th annual educator work-
shop on teaching about Israel in
Atlanta, Ga., in June. Fred Nagler
and Dr. Mark Silk of the Bergen
County High School of Jewish
Studies were among the 75 par-
ticipants from the United States,
Canada, and Mexico. The Avi
Chai Foundation of North Amer-
ica funds the five-day workshop;
more than 800 educators have
Fred Nagler and Dr. Mark Silk Courtesy BCHSJS
participated since it began. Scholars
taught participants about Israels history, present helps to provide a glimpse into
politics, and culture.
Specialized learning tracks were
included to enhance knowledge and pro-
vide strategies for implementing materi-
als into their school settings. Primary
sources and their use in the classroom
was a particular emphasis of the week.
Kenneth W. Stein, a professor at
Emory University who is the president
of CIE, created the workshop in 2000.
He opened the program on June 25,
Gymnastics Jazz Creative Legos Choreography
Voice Princess Dance age 2-1/2 to adults
Dance Acting Musical Theater Fencing
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Steve Siegel, THS class of 1966,
receives his award from board
member Bonnie Morrow.
For thousands
of kids in our
community
summer vacation
football/tennis coach. He identified the means no more
breakfast
need for a way to honor the schools out- or lunch.
standing athletes. His committee reviews
the performance of the women and men What is food
who are potential candidates and selects insecurity? Healthcare or food?
Something no senior
those to be included in the hall of fame. Unfortunately, one out
of six kids knows... should have to decide.
A newly constructed entrance to the
high schools memorial gym serves as
the Hall of Fames exhibit hall, which
The loss of $93,000 is affecting CFAs ability to help thousands of
houses the records, accomplishments, your neighbors. Your help is urgently needed to ensure emergency
and memorabilia of Teanecks finest programs are intact and available to help folks who are struggling
athletes.
Ms. Goldenfarb lives in the New Bruns-
to put food on their tables and keep a roof over their heads.
wick area with her husband, Brian, and
their three children, Lauren, Rachel, and Thank you for your support
Joshua. Mr. Siegel has retired from teach-
ing tennis and lives in a Houston suburb.
201-569-1804 x 25
www.cfanj.org
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21st century. Menachem Taub, M.A., CPC.
Next years workshop is tentatively Call or text (201) 347-9550
planned for June 24-28. For information, Convenient Teaneck location. Telephone & Skype sessions, too. Closed Saturdays.
email Rich.walter@israeled.org or go to
www.israeled.org. 100% Condential www.MaritalSuccess613.com
Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017 15
Rockland

School supplies drive launched

Rockland Jewish Family Service is holding
a back-to-school drive through August 31.
If you donate supplies particularly back-
packs, pens, crayons, paper, notebooks,
glue sticks, highlighters, tissue boxes, and
rulers by dropping them off at the feder-
ations office at 450 W. Nyack Road, Suite 2
in West Nyack, you can help make the first
day of school successful for local students
in need. Gift cards and donations also are
welcome.
For information, call Marissa at (845)
354-2121, ext. 177, or email her at MSher-
man@rjfs.org.

Three high school seniors win

NCJW Rockland service awards
The Rockland section of the National
Council of Jewish Women presented
community service awards to three high
school seniors. They are Rachel Weinfeld
from Clarkstown North, a Youth Court
participant and religious school teachers
aide; Jessica Lewis from Tappan Zee High
School, a member of her local ambulance
corps and a religious school teachers aide;
and Stephanie Klein from North Rockland
High School, a volunteer at the Hi Tor Ani-
mal Shelter and lead violinist in two youth
orchestras.
All three students exemplify the
selection criteria of ongoing voluntary
community service. Beverly Kaplan is the
NCJW selection committee chair. The sec-
tion grants the awards every year to foster
continuing higher education and the spirit
of volunteerism.
Founded in 1958, the Rockland section
of NCJW supports many community ser-
vice projects for families in need. Programs
include education and summer camp schol-
arships for children; clothing and luggage
filled with household items for victims of
domestic abuse; and support for many
shelters, food pantries, schools, and other
institutions in Rockland County. For infor-
mation, go to www.ncjwrockland.org.
Tisha BAv film screenings
To mark Tisha BAv 5777, the Holocaust
Museum & Center for Tolerance and
Education will show two films on Tues-
day, August 1, at the Ellipse, Technology
Center, at Rockland Community College
in Suffern.
At 2 p.m., Voices From the Attic
will be shown. A filmmaker travels to
Poland with her aunt and five cousins
to explore the ordeal suffered by her
mother and 15 family members who
hid in the attic of a peasants home for
two years during World War II. At 3:30,
Joes Violin will be screened. In this
2017 Academy Award-nominated short
documentary film, a donated musical
instrument forges an improbable friend-
ship between Joe Feingold, a 91-year-old
Holocaust survivor, and Brianna Perez, a
12-year-old Bronx schoolgirl.
For information, call (845) 574-4099 or
go to holocauststudies.org.

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Business network honors three
The Rockland Business
Womens Network honored
three distinguished Rock-
land County women at the
Crowne Plaza Hotel in Suf-
fern on June 8.
Risa B. Hoag of GMG Pub-
lic Relations, Inc., was this
years 2017 RBWN Service
Woman of the Year, and
Risa B. Hoag
Courtney E. Boniface of Cane
& Boniface, PC, and Dr. Mary
Jean Marsico, COO of Rockland BOCES,
were the Women of Achievement.
Marion Winik, an author and University RBWN.org or call (845) 535-1011.
Holocaust museum accepting
reservations for fall tours
The Holocaust Museum & Center for Tol-
erance and Education is accepting res-
ervations for museum tours starting in
October. Booking early is recommended
for group tours to be scheduled between
January and May, when tours are most
in demand.
Student tours are offered starting in
sixth grade. Those tours are led either by
a member of the education department
Rockland Federation lists events
On August 3 at 10 a.m., the Florence
Melton School of Adult Jewish Learning
at the JCC campus offers a free class in
West Nyack at 10 a.m. Rabbi Paula Mack
Drill will lead it. Call (845) 362-4200,
ext. 130, or email adulteducation@
jewishrockland.org.
Later that day, at 7:30 p.m., there will
be bingo at the Beth Am Temple, at 60 E.
Brunch will benefit Holocaust museum
Save the date for the Holocaust
Museum & Center for Tolerance and
Educations annual benefit brunch
on Sunday, November 5. Barbara and
Garage sale at shul
A multi-family community garage sale will be held Sun-
day, July 30, in Nanuet and again on Sunday, August 13, in
the front parking lot at the Nanuet Hebrew Center in New
City, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., rain or shine.
The shul is at 411 South Little Tor Road (just off Exit 10
of the Palisades Parkway) in New City. Vendors are wel-
come to rent a parking lot space to sell their wares for
$25 per day. Vendors can bring their own table(s) or rent
one for $5 per day. Profits made by vendors are theirs to
keep, or they can choose to donate a portion of it to Nan-
uet Hebrew Center. For information call the shul office at
(845) 708-9181 or email office@nanuethc.org.
Rockland
Chamber of Commerce to sponsor
of Maryland professor, was
the guest speaker. A record
its tenth 5K run/walk for recovery
The Greater Nanuet Chamber of Com- National Recovery Month is a national
200 people attended the
merce holds its 10th annual Recovery Rally, observance held in September to remind
event where two high school
a 5K Walk/Run for Recovery & Remem- Americans that substance use treatment
seniors and a student from
brance, on Sunday, September 10, at Rock- and mental health services can allow peo-
Rockland Community Col-
land Lake State Park. A 5K walk/run is at 8 ple with a mental or substance abuse dis-
lege were awarded $1,000
a.m.; a fun run for kids is at 9:30. A Recov- order to live healthy and rewarding lives.
scholarships.
ery Celebration including music, food, For information, call (845) 215-9788, ext.
The Rockland Business
speakers, yoga, face painting, tricky tray, 25, email kkatt@rcadd.org, or go to www.
Womens Network provides
and information, is from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. eagletiming.com.
women with opportunities
for professional and business
growth through leadership, education,
and networking. For information, go to
www.thejewishstandard.com
640 Oak Tree Rd. A Scharf Family
team or by a trained volunteer docent. Residence...the most
Palisades, NY 10964
The tour will provide an overview of the trusted name in Senior
history of the Holocaust by closely exam-
(845) 359-7870 AT PALISADES Care for over 50 years.
ining the museums exhibition and Holo-
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For information, call Geri Myer at
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On August 8, the PJ Library in Rock- The LaffLady Neil Diamond
land County is hosting a pool party and
barbecue at Ramah Day Camp in Nyack,
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 9, 2017 MONDAY SEPTEMBER 18, 2017
at 4:30 p.m. TIME: 3:30pm TIME: 3pm
For information on all these events, $10 p/p | $8 p/p for JCC Members $10 p/p | $8 p/p for JCC Members
call (845) 362-4200, email msherman@ proceeds to benefit: all proceeds to benefit:
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orees. For information, call (845) 574-
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 The head marshal directs the riders after
a lunch break. Below, the group assembles
at Auschwitz-Birkenau at 8:30 in the
morning to begin the ride to Krakow.

18 Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017


Cover Story/rockland
Ride for life
Nanuet woman remembers her survivor parents
by cycling from Auschwitz to the JCC Krakow
Joanne Palmer
S
ometimes, things come full circle.
Things being shorthand for huge historical
cataclysms, family history, even to some extent
poetic justice.
Maybe thats a cheesy metaphor to use about a bike
trip wheels, circles, revolutions, all that but its hard
to avoid. Simone Hilfstein Scheumann of Nanuet thought
about full circles as she pedaled from Auschwitz-Birkenau,
the Nazi-run death camp in the verdant Polish country-
side, to the JCC Krakow last month.
The Jewish community in Krakow, as elsewhere in
Poland, is flourishing. The purpose of the ride is to raise
funds for the JCC Krakows programs, and also to make
the world aware of the rebirth of Jewish life in Poland,
Simone said.
Simone rode, both this year and last, in memory of her
parents and grandmother, who survived the Holocaust;
many of her other relatives, who did not; and the other
Jews who were murdered in Auschwitz and in the other
death camps during World War II. She also rode to cel-
ebrate the JCC Krakow and the resurgence of Jewish life
and hope.
Simones parents, Max Hilfstein and Erna Kluger, were
born in Krakow, into a Jewish world that was flourishing
then as well. Although they didnt know what was coming,
of course, now we know what happened. They and their
families were pushed into the ghetto, and on November
23, 1942, the two were married. They were both very
young my father was 19 and my mother was 17 and
the marriage was an arrangement between both of their
mothers, so that my father could take care of my mother,
Simone said. By then, the smell of death was in the air.
Max had a profession, though. My mother was just fin-
ishing school in the ghetto, and my father had a family
Simone Hilfstein Scheumann
and a group leader on the ride.
Simone and her brother, Leon Hilfstein, outside the
Krakow JCC at the rides end.
business. They were beauticians, and the family had a
beauty salon and barbershop in the ghetto, Simone said.
By luck (if that word can be used in this context), the shop
was in the ghetto, so it could keep going.
My father made a video for Spielberg, Simone said.
(That, of course, is the filmmaker Steven Spielberg; the
video was for the Holocaust film and video archives Mr.
Spielberg created for the United States Holocaust Memo-
rial Museum.) In it, he discusses how he became the
beautician and barber for some renowned Nazis. There-
fore he garnished a little well, not kindness, more like an
understanding that if my mother was going to be taken
Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017 19
Cover Story/Rockland
As the group approaches Krakow, it rides alongside the Vistula River.
out to be beaten, my father could lessen the severity of it.
Soon the ghetto was liquidated, and Max and Erna,
along with their families, were sent first to Paszw,
a slave-labor camp, and then on a death march to Aus-
chwitz. Almost all of both of their families died, but Ernas
mother, Anna Schornstein who had been in Auschwitz
earlier, and who spoke fluent German, was given a job as
a stenographer and accountant, and worked in an office
for some time also survived.
When they got to the United States, Max and Erna were
able to resume their lives. Max opened a beauty salon in
lower Manhattan, on Avenue B and Sixth Street, and he
owned one with a cousin in Haverstraw, Ms. Scheumann
said. He taught his surviving cousins the profession.
Her mother was a very scholarly person, she contin-
ued. The family on both sides had been observant Jews,
who kept kosher, but they were secular. I would call them
Conservative to Orthodox, modern, not chasidic. Before
the war, Erna went to Jewish school, but she also had a
more worldly education than my father had. Her main
education came from a Catholic school; she learned the
classics there. The school accepted about one percent of
the class who were Jewish, she said. Her mother was in
that one percent. But, of course, her education in Poland
was cut short. She did not graduate from high school then.
When she got to this country, my mother got a GED,
Simone said. And then she got a bachelors degree, and
then a masters, and then a Ph.D. in the history of science
from City University. She was a Copernican scholar.
The Hilfsteins settled in the Bronx. They lived in the
Country Club section, which was not particularly Jewish.
My parents decided that they did not want to live in a
20 Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017
ghetto again, Simone said. They did not want to lock
themselves up. They were very involved in Jewish organi-
zations, they were very Zionistic, they were very philan-
thropic, but they wanted to live among all kinds of people.
My fathers very important mission was to educate
people about what a Jew really is, she continued. He
My parents decided
that they did not want
to live in a ghetto
again. They did not
want to lock
themselves up.
Erna and Max Hilfstein in 1950, in the United States.
made it his business, when he met people, to say, My research on both sides of my family. Ive found many doc-
name is Max Hilfstein, I am Jewish, and I hope you dont uments and photographs, and I feel a real link to the city.
have a problem with that. There are many archives left, she added. When the war
They were very much advocates for the Jewish people. started, many archives were hidden, particularly in the
Simone, who has taught chemistry for 34 years, the last larger towns, she said. Warsaw has a tremendous one,
25 of them at Tenafly High School, has gone to Poland at that basically was put underground during the war. And
least eight times, she said. Every time I get there, I light Krakow has a huge archive.
candles and pay my respects in the places where my fam- I didnt realize that before the war, Jews born in Kra-
ily was murdered. Then often she goes to Israel. kow and in other places in Poland were registered.
Simone also has begun to research her familys history. Their births, their deaths, their marriages, their divorces
I have been able to trace my familys roots to the mid- they all were kept in separate, handwritten books. I
1700s in Krakow, she said. Ive been doing genealogical was able to find my grandmothers birth records, and my
 Cover Story/Rockland

parents. She speaks Polish, so although the handwriting

often was hard to decipher, the language itself was not a
barrier. My parents spoke Polish at home, she added.
Yiddish they just spoke Yiddish when they didnt want
us to understand it.
When she heard about the bike ride, she felt compelled
to do it; last year was her first ride. I went this time with
my brother, Leon Hilfstein, and my cousin, Liora Shelem,
who lives in Israel. Her father was a Hilfstein; he was 14
when he was liberated from Auschwitz. The ride has tre-
mendous meaning for all of us, so we decided to do it, in
the memory of our families, the survivors and the ones
who perished.
Part of the motivation was memory, and another part
was the future.
There is misconception and stereotyping about Poland
today, Simone said. Anti-Semitism still exists in Poland
and outside of Poland. Thats a very big discussion. But
from my parents point of view, and from my own per-
sonal experience, I have met some fabulous people. Some
very kind, giving people.
The JCC in Krakow has about 40 volunteers, all non-
Jews, for the bike ride, she said. They prepare the food
and man the desk. They do everything They are the best! Simone, left, her cousin Liora Shelem, on the red bike, and a group leader pedal toward Krakow.
The bike ride drew about 160 participants, Jews and non-
Jews, and at least a number of them were young people,
she added. They included the chief rabbi of Warsaw and a
rabbi from Krakow, as well as the director of the Krakow
JCC. The youngest rider was 13, she added, and the oldest, meals every Shabbat. Its not a very big place not like summer place that was my parents, that my brother and
a survivor, was 84. They came from around the world for a usual JCC but they have fit 200 people, using all the I share. Im going to go out now to ride my bike. It is a
the ride. rooms, for Shabbat dinner. very good psychological motivator. Riding is much bet-
The JCC Krakow, which supported the ride, has a grow- The bike ride a four-day, 55-mile trip that literally goes ter than sitting.
ing membership of people who live in Krakow or its imme- from the ashes of Auschwitz to the JCC goes through It makes sense that they chose to summer there, she
diate vicinity, she said. Many younger people have found added. The Polish countryside is beautiful, and it has
out, through various circumstances, that they are partially a lot of similar trees and landscapes to what you see in
Jewish, and therefore they are going out of curiosity, to upstate New York. Its very lush. Thats why there are a
find out more. Many are converting. lot of Polish people in the Catskills and the Adirondacks.
There is a new preschool that is opening, she contin-
ued. It is the first time since World War II that there is a
We have to go on. My grandmother and my father used to collect mush-
rooms upstate, she added. They did it in Poland, and
new full-day Jewish preschool in Krakow. We have to perpetuate then they did it upstate. And now I do it too.
The JCC is just about 10 years old, but the New Krakow
Friendship Society, which supports it, was founded more
the religion, the There are many obstacles that we all face, Simone
said. What I face is insignificant compared to what my
than 50 years ago. My brother and I are involved with it, tradition, cement the parents went through. I plan on doing it again next year. I
and my father was one of the founders, she said. The
goal was education and philanthropy for Israel, and also
culture in Krakow. hope that my brother will join me again, and that several
other family members will as well.
to help the Jewish survivors who stayed in Krakow. What about her husband, Lee Scheumann? I hope he
Many survivors stayed there after the war, Simone Polands ironically verdant (or perhaps, given the rebirth, will, she said. I am an optimist!
said. We have been working to support them finan- unironically but gloriously verdant) countryside. There are satellite rides in other countries, she added.
cially as they age. We also have been giving money for the Deciding to do the ride was a logical choice for Sim- People can ride along, or they can donate. She wants to
rebuilding of some of the shuls, for the cleanup and main- one. I was not a bike rider, she said. The first time I be at the real ride, though, with its complex mix of beauty
tenance of a cemetery that still is functioning. got on a bike was last year. I bought a bike about three and horror, of memory and longing and despair, of friend-
The whole idea is from ashes to rebirth, she said. weeks before I went on the ride. Not only that, she added ship, of family, of hope, and even, at the end, of exhilara-
Her feelings about the rebirth of the Jewish community Simone has Parkinsons, so at first the idea was purely tion. Theres a lot of camaraderie, she said. Of course,
in Krakow are straightforward, even though she knows aspirational. the weather doesnt always play along. This year, there
that not everyone shares them. Families that have suf- But heres the thing, she said. Its all about was some torrential rain along the way, she said. We
fered at the hands of the Poles have every right to feel motivation. always have an ambulance accompanying us, and medics
the way that they do, she said. Those families doubt that My parents walked from Krakow to Auschwitz-Birke- following us. We have a police escort when we start, and
Poles have changed, and believe that their anti-Semitism nau in the winter. It was a forced march. A death march. when we go through Krakows streets.
is bone-deep and ineradicable. But my family had a dif- My mother laid down in the snow to die. She couldnt When we ride, we go through towns, and we go
ferent perspective, she said. These are the things that go any further. And my fathers cousin picked her up and through the countryside. We get to see where our families
we have to do to go on. We have to go on. We have to put her around his neck and walked like that, carrying her. walked, the fields they slept in. My cousin said that she
perpetuate the religion, the tradition, cement the culture So for me to be able to ride a bike I might have some imagines her father, walking, when he was 9.
in Krakow. aches and pains, maybe, but they are insignificant. You dont want to go too fast. You want to take it all in.
There are Jewish children being born in Krakow now, Last year, someone rode next to me, coaching me, to At the end, we all got together so we could ride to the
she continued. There are young people in their 20s help me do it, she added. This year, I am in a little bet- JCC en masse. It was so good.
studying the aleph bet in classes at the JCC. ter shape, and on medication. So the Parkinsons is just It was catharsis, Simone Hilfstein Scheumann said. I
The JCC is a very open, inclusive environment. They another obstacle to overcome. do a lot of volunteer work in the charity world, but this
welcome Jews and non-Jews. They have huge Shabbat Right now, Im sitting in bike shorts, upstate, in the this is dear to my heart.

Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017 21

 OurChildren
About
What Have You Read for You, Lately?
H E I D I M A E B RAT T
W
ere halfway through the sum-
mer, and school with its sched-
ules, academic obligations,
and homework, homework, homework
are weeks behind us. Warm weather ac-
tivities, camp, and vay or stay-cation are,
clearly underway.
But dont let the rest of the summer
cause your children to stray from the
written word. Educators agree that if you
dont use it, you can lose it. So encour-
age them to read and write throughout
these weeks.
Here are a few tips to keep those liter-
ary muscles going.
Taking a trip
If youre going to be traveling, your young-
sters can help plan the trip. Whether its
a day trip or a longer and farther desti-
nation, you can have your children pick
a few travel books and research sites that
he or she would be interested in visiting.
Some places, such as historical Phila-
delphia or Williamsburg, Virginia may
even have fictional stories connected to
that place.
Staying closer to home? If youre visit-
ing an amusement park there may be his-
tory connected to a roller coaster such
as the Cyclone in Coney Island that can
be researched and read about. Children
can also read about the local museums,
science centers, or theaters they may
be visiting.
Pick out the author
Choose an author that your child enjoys
reading and go for it in a big way. Choose
the rest of the books in that favorite series
or other titles that the author has penned.
You may also want to help your son or
daughter learn more about the writer.
This could help him or her understand
where the stories and where the charac-
ters came from. Check out the authors
website to get more information. Your
child can write a note to the author after
he or she has read the book. It would be
exciting to get the authors response.
Follow a passion
What is it that peaks the interest of your
son or daughter? Find out which subjects
are most exciting: sports, fashion, gaming,
cooking, you name it, and this is a great
place to start on a reading adventure.
You can find age-appropriate books on a
number of nonfiction topics. You can help
your child make a project about the book.
If the child is artistic, he or she can make
a picture or a graphic novel about the
book. If your child likes mysteries, they
can write an alternative ending..
Family-friendly reading
How about reading together? A child need
not be young to hear a bedtime story
read aloud. There are plenty of wonderful
books that you can read together to each
other. If your child has a bit of dramatic
flare, all the better. Think of all the parts
you can read with emphasis, drama, and
even accents.
All the news thats fit to print
Who says that newspapers are obsolete?
They certainly are not. You can use a
newspaper to teach literacy to the young-
est of children. How about using the
newspaper and its big headlines to have a
child find and circle the alphabet? Or how
about cutting out a few photographs from
the newspaper and having an older child
write a story about the pictures? There
may be articles that are of interest to your
children, such as sports. And dont forget
to look at the funny pages.
Dear diary
For writing, you can help your child keep
a log of events that take place during the
summer. You may want to start with a spe-
cial notebook and even special colored
pencils. Your child can write a weekly
log of events and make it a narrative or
a fiction, as long as he or she is writing.
You may also want to include pictures
that can be pasted inside the notebook
to illustrate the events. This is not only
a good writing practice, but in time, your
child can enjoy looking at the memento
that he or she created of their sum-
mer adventures.
The plays the thing
After your child has read an interesting
book, whether its a novel or a nonfiction
title, help him or her create a play using
the characters and dialogue. You may
find yourself becoming a stage produc-
tion manager. He or she can enlist sib-
lings or friends and assign different roles,
come up with costumes, and then put on
a play. You can make it an event with an
cast after-party.
Loving that library
Libraries are summertime respites. Not
only is there often good air-condition-
ing, but there are myriad programs the
library offers to youngsters during the
summer months. Many local libraries
encourage reading projects for the sum-
mer. There is often a reward or prize
connected to completion of the books.
Listen closely
There is value in listening to audio books.
When there is no time to actually read to
your child or if youre the driver heading
somewhere, you can listen to an audio
book. While its not the same as actually
reading you can still discuss the book
with your family.
The generation gap
Make writing an intergenerational experi-
ence. Have your child write out a list of
questions about his grandparents lives
growing up. What did he or she do when
they went on vacation? What kind of mu-
sic was popular? Who were the celebrities
of the day? Then he or she can interview
the grandparents, record the answers,
and learn a little family history.
Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our
Children.
ABOUT OUR CHILDREN AUGUST 2017 1
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 OurChildren
About
Useful Information for the Next Generation of Jewish Families

August 2017

What Have You Read Lately? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1

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MissionStatement
About Our Children is designed to help Jewish families in our area live healthy, positive lives that make the most of REGISTER
the resources available to them. By providing useful, current, accurate information, this publication aims to guide
parents to essential information on faith, education, the arts, events, and child-raising in short, everything that
NOW
todays Jewish family, babies to grandparents, needs to live life to the fullest in North Jersey and Rockland County. HEBREW SCHOOL
STARTS
AdvisoryBoard SUNDAY, SEPT. 10
Dr. Annette Berger, Psy.D. Jane Calem Rosen
Psychologist, Teaneck Marketing and Communications Specialist
Michelle Brauntuch, MS,CCLS Barry Weissman, MD
Child Life Specialist, Englewood Hospital, Englewood Pediatrician, Hackensack and Wyckoff Creative, experiential curriculum
Hope Eliasof Cheryl Wylen Computer lab Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation
Marriage and Family Therapist, Midland Park Director of Adult Programs and Cultural Arts
YM-YWHA of North Jersey, Wayne
Family programming
Howard Prager, DC, DACBSP
Holistic Chiropractor, Oakland Social events/holiday celebrations
Warm, nurturing environment Dedicated faculty
About
OurChildren
James L. Janoff Natalie Jay Slovie Jungreis-Wolff
Synagogue membership not required.
Publisher Advertising Director Ed Silberfarb Marcia Kagedan, Educational Director
Heidi Mae Bratt Peggy Elias Adina Soclof
Editor Janice Rosen Contributing Writers 201-262-7733 edudirector@jccparamus.org
Deborah Herman Brenda Sutcliffe
Art Director Account Executives JCC of Paramus/Congregation Beth Tikvah
About Our Children is published 11 times a year by the New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group, 304 East Midland Avenue, Paramus www.jccparamus.org
1086 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666; telephone: 201-837-8818; fax: 201-833-4959.;
e-mail: AboutOC@aol.com.

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN AUGUST 2017 3


L
ifes a beach, and then you dive.
A variation on another familiar
saying, but one I think is more fun
and much more optimistic.
The sand, the surf, the constancy of
the sun, the ebb and flow of the tides,
what lies on the surface, what lies be-
low. You never know what youll find
along a walk on the beach: an intact
seashell, an abandoned plastic shovel,
a discarded snack wrapper, an earring,
a ball that rolled away.
The beach was as big a part of
my growing up in Brooklyn as it could
have been. For my husband, Jeff, who
was raised in Long Beach, N.Y., the
beach was even more of the fabric of
his young life. He grew up in the South
Shore beach town whose population
swelled during the high summer sea-
son. But for us, Brighton Beach, the
sibling of Coney Island on Brooklyns
southern tip, wasnt exactly our neigh-
borhood. But it was a short drive away,
and it was our Riviera.
Our family would venture out each
Sunday during the summer months to
Brighton. Typically, we wouldnt leave
until later in the afternoon not be-
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musings from the editor
cause we were trying to
avoid the most danger-
ous hours in the sun,
for who paid attention
to the dangers of UV
in those days? We left
later in the afternoon
because it took us that
long to get our ducks
in place and get out
of the house. We were
dressed in our bathing
suits beneath our cloth-
ing a time saver. And
we packed our food for
a late lunch. My mother would fill a pic-
nic carryall with American cheese sand-
wiches on rye, cucumbers, tomatoes,
the requisite onion (for my father), a
thermos full of homemade sweetened
and lemony iced tea, and fruit rip-
ened peaches, plums, and green and
yellow grapes.
Finally, we piled into the Chevy and
off wed go. My parents preferred to set
up camp in the park next to the beach,
which was populated with like-minded
and like-mannered folks. The park was
filled with survivors of the Shoah, now
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Brooklyn residents, with the Kaufmans. Not being a Jersey
who sought the re- girl, I didnt know the joys of the Jersey
spite of the beach Shore until I became an adult, and I was
during those swel- unfamiliar with the family- and frum-
tering days. In that friendly community of Bradley Beach
park, I would hear until we started our annual tradition of
Yiddish conversation, visiting with the Kaufmans.
smell cigarette smoke We were there for the first true sum-
mixed with Copper- mer weekend, July 4th, and the beach
tone, and watch as was cheek-to-jowl filled with enthusi-
they played animated asts who put down blankets, umbrellas,
card games. There and themselves. On that day, the water
was levity and relax- was so cold that only the most brave or
ation on a lazy Sun- most foolish went full-body in.
day afternoon. Seeing our teenage children now,
Once we set down our blanket on remembering the little ones they had
an empty patch of grass, wed head been on this same sand and surf years
to the water as it was getting late. ago, made me both nostalgic and hope-
On the beach and finally in the water, ful. For the weekend, for the summer,
I would jump the waves, play, splash, and, despite the inevitable ebbs and
and, with the help of my father, learn flows, for the future.
how to swim. Life sometimes is a beach a real
When I think about my parents, beach. But what to do?
yes, life was a beach, and they dove. Just dive.
Fast forward to this summer, and Cheers,
we are visiting our dear friends, the
Kaufmans, at their charming house in
Bradley Beach. Since the kids were lit-
tle, weve taken them to Bradley Beach
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Helping Children
Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep
Through the Night
D R . ST E P H A N I E Z A N D I E H
O
verall, studies indicate that 15 to 20 percent of
1 to 3 year olds continue to have night wakings.
Inappropriate sleep associations are the primary
cause of frequent night wakings. Sleep associations are
those conditions that are habitually present at the time
of sleep onset and in the presence of which the infant
or child has learned to fall asleep. These same condi-
tions are then required in order for the infant or child
to fall back to sleep following periodic normal night-
time arousals.
Sleep associations can be appropriate, for example,
thumb sucking or problematic, such as rocking, nursing,
or parental presence. Problematic sleep associations are
those that require parental intervention and thus cannot
be reestablished independently by the child upon awak-
ening during the night.
Here are some helpful tips to help your child sleep
through the night:
Develop an appropriate sleep schedule with an early
bedtime. Ironically, the more tired your child is, the more
times she will awaken during the night. As such, be sure
your child continues to take naps during the day and set
an early bedtime.
Introduce a security or love object to your child.
A transitional object, like a stuffed toy, doll or blanket,
helps a child feel safe and secure when you are not pres-
ent. Help your child become attached to a security object
by including it as a part of the bedtime routine. In addi-
tion, try to include this object whenever you are cuddling
or comforting your child.
Have a bedtime routine. Establish a consistent bed-
time routine that includes calm and enjoyable activities,
such as a bath and a bedtime story.
Create a consistent bedroom environment. Make
sure your childs bedroom environment is the same
at bedtime as it is throughout the night, for example,
lighting.
Put your child to bed awake. After the bedtime rou-
tine, put your child into her crib awake and leave the
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Afternoon and evening sessions
Dr. Stephanie Zandieh, director of
the Pediatric Sleep Disorders and
Conversation skills Play skills
Apnea Center at The Valley Hospital, Body language and other social cues
tends to a young patient.
Utilizing the principles of Applied Behavior
Analysis in a fun and supportive environment
AND SO MUCH MORE!
Eileen Stauber, BCBA/201-390-8017
Cassie Romano, BCBA/214-701-2774
141 Main Street, 2nd floor
Hackensack, NJ 07601
Reserve early
for our
room. Remember, the key to having your child sleep
through the night is to have your child learn to fall asleep
on her own, so they can put themselves back to sleep
when they naturally awaken during the night. Checkup
Have a method for checking. If your child cries or
yells, check on him or her. Wait for as long or as short a
time as you wish. For some children, frequent checking
Party
is effective. For others, infrequent checking works best. Sunday, September 10
Continue returning to check on your child as long as she 8:50 AM to 1 PM
is crying or upset. The visits should be brief (one minute)
and non-stimulating. Calmly tell your child its time to go 64 kids, 8 hygienists, 4 doctors,
to sleep. The purpose of returning to the room is to reas- 1 magician, tons of giveaways
sure your child that you are still present and to reassure Checkup Parties always fill up early so call
yourself that your child is okay. today to make sure your family is included!
Respond to your child during the night. In the begin- See our video on YouTube
ning, respond to your child as you normally do through- 201-837-3000
out the night. Research indicates that the majority of Teaneck Dentist
children will naturally be sleeping throughout the night Drs. Gertler, Frohlich and Solaimanzadeh
within 12 weeks of falling asleep quickly and easily at bed- General Dentistry
time. If your child continues to awaken during the night 1008 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ
www.teaneckdentist.com
after several weeks, then use the same checking method
during the night as you did at bedtime.
Take a more gradual approach. Some parents feel
that not being present when their child falls asleep feels
like too big of a first step for them and their child. A more
gradual approach is to teach your child to fall asleep on
her own, but with you in the room. This approach may
take longer, but it can feel more comfortable for some
families. The first step is to put your child into her crib
awake and sit on a chair next to it. Once she is able to
ART
consistently fall asleep this way, sit farther and farther
away every three to four nights until you are in the hall-
way and no longer in sight.
Be consistent and dont give up. The first few
nights are likely to be very challenging and often the
Lessons
Art of Excellence Studio
Unlock your Creativity with Classes in
second or third night is worse than the first night. How- Drawing and Watercolor
ever, within a few nights to a week, you will begin to Structured Lessons - Relaxed Atmosphere
see improvement. Fabulous Results!
Age 7 to Adult - All levels of ability
Stephanie Zandieh, M.D. is the director of the Pediatric Sleep Art Portfolio Preparation Available
Artist, Rina Goldhagen 201-248-4779
Disorders and Apnea Center The Valley Hospital.
www.artofexcellencestudio.com
ABOUT OUR CHILDREN AUGUST 2017 5
 OurChildren
About

Seven Phrases To Put Peace in the House

A D I N A S O C LO F the milk spills they can grab a rag to clean the milk. In-
stead of yelling at their sibling for taking their prized toy

W
e are always looking for ways to make our
homes peaceful in this modern, chaotic world.
Here are some phrases that can instantly in-
fuse calm into your familys life.
1. Lets take a break.
Whether youre running around doing errands, doing
some marathon cooking or cleaning, everyone needs a
bit of a break. Using these phrase helps kids learn that
it is important to stop, relax and regroup. This phrase is
especially important when kids are having a tough time
with their homework. A drink, snack or some playtime
can help them get refocused. This phrase is also great to
use when kids are getting on each others nerves. Siblings
can find different areas in the house to take their breaks
from each other.
2. I need to think about it
When children ask us for that expensive pair of sneakers
that all their friends have or the new fashion craze that
doesnt meet with your standard of dress, your instant
no can quickly morph into a fight. Using this phrase
helps us press the pause button, giving us some time to
think about the request or come up with a solution (I can
pay half for the sneakers.) It can also give us time to for-
mulate the no in a way that our children can hear us,
(I know how badly you want that shirt. Can you think of
why it wouldnt work?)
3. We dont accuse; we focus on solutions.
This phrase tops everyone from pointing fingers and
teaches kids to move towards finding a solution. When
without asking, they can ask for it back. As for parents,
instead of getting angry that bikes were left outside, they
can calmly request that they be brought back in.
4. Since having a peaceful family is our goal,
how can we work this out?
This phrase is a bit corny and is best used with younger
kids. Its brilliant because it presupposes that having a
peaceful family is and should be our goal and that it is
our childrens goal as well. So when everyone is arguing
over where to go out for dinner, what to do for a Sun-
day activity or who should take out the garbage, this is
a great phrase to use. Also, if you start using this phrase time talking. You can also say, When would be a good
early, you might still be able to use it when your kids are time to talk? orI need a few minutes of your time to talk
teens. It will definitely come along with some eye rolling, about...when will you be available?
but it will still work.
7. I guess we had a miscommunication.
5. When will you be able to.? Miscommunications occur a lot in families, I thought
Instead of telling a child straight out, Take out the gar- you were picking up dinner! Your science fair is tomor-
bage or Set the table! preface the request with When row? I thought you said it was Thursday! The phrase can
will you be able to.? The phrase engenders good will smooth things over and teach kids that mistakes in the
and respect. It also implies that you know that the task form of miscommunications are part and parcel of life
will get done. If your child is known for wiggling out of and can be managed with equanimity. It should be fol-
doing their chores, or is forgetful, you can add on, Can lowed with, Oh boy, sorry for the miscommunication.
you give me a time when it will be done? You can also And some way to rectify the inconvenience of it, Ill put
say, If it is not done by 5 p.m., how would you like me to up some noodles! Lets all pitch in and help
remind you?
Adina Soclof is the director of Parent Outreach for A+
6. Is this a good time to talk? Solutions, facilitating How to Talk so Kids will Listen and
When you need to have a serious conversation with any- Listen so Kids will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry work-
one in your family, you need to gage their mood. I find shops. She is available for speaking engagements. Check out
this to be especially true with boys who have a harder www.parentingsimply.com for more information.

Just STOP Four Sure-Fire Habits for Home

S LOV I E JU N G R E I S - WO L F F for family life. Much depends on how we at your spouse. What do you see? Is he joy your vacation, but you dont need to
train our eyes to zoom in on the positive. burned out? Is she feeling overburdened? take other couples with you online. Have

T
hese four simple habits can change
the way you love and help you build
a home filled with peace, gratitude,
and kindness.
S: Smile
Greeting your spouse with a smile means
that no matter how difficult my day, I am
happy to see you. Its a small act that
yields a powerful impact. You may have
had a huge disappointment at work, a
child is wearing you down, and you are
feeling overwhelmed, but if you communi-
cate love the challenge will not leave your
relationship tattered.
Body language impacts us. A sour de-
meanor creates a chill in the air. A smile
draws us close. Even if you dont feel like it,
be sure to greet your spouse with a pleas-
ant face. One of my fathers favorite sayings
was Smile even if you dont have reason
to smile and God will give you the reason.
T: Thankfulness
Its easy to focus on what bothers us in-
stead of all that is good. We can enter a
room and see chaos or we can be grateful
Thinking thankfulness means that
each day I consciously take time to con-
sider my blessings. Do I cherish having
a spouse at my side? Do I appreciate the
sounds of children? Do I realize how for-
tunate I am to live in a place I call home?
Then there are the little moments
through which I can cultivate gratitude. A
warm dinner, a carpool driven, a listening
ear, if we decide to contemplate we will
undoubtedly uncover the gifts that our
relationship brings.
Marriage thrives on gratitude. A
thankless spouse grows into a thought-
less ingrate; expecting more while car-
ing less.
Think thankfulness and find a way to
express your appreciation. Watch the de-
light in the eyes of your spouse and see
your love grow.
book. We are so busy sharing with others
O: Open your eyes to the needs of
your spouse
We live in a selfie world where we focus
our lens on ourselves and all too often ne-
glect to observe those around us.
Take a step back and really look
Does your husband need a night out with
you? Could your wife use an hour to rest?
Relationships are all about loving-
kindness. We do for each other not be-
cause we need to even out the score
but because we desire to create an en-
vironment of goodness. Be kind to your
spouse. See what they see. Feel what they
feel. Ask yourself, what can I do for my
spouse today? How can I help make my
partners life better?
Opening your eyes to your partners
needs keeps compassion alive and shows
your spouse that you care.
P: Protect your borders
Some couples are in the toxic habit of post-
ing their lives online. Every gift, new piece
of furniture, dinner out, or beach vacation
is immediately seen on Instagram and Face-
we neglect to share the moment with our
partner. Besides, why the need to expose
our lives? Comparing is never healthy. Re-
sentment and jealousy grows.
The Talmud teaches us that blessing
comes from that which is hidden. Yes, en-
a great night out. But keep it private. Inti-
macy is both physical and emotional.
Make it a habit to put your phone
away when spending time together. Cre-
ate no phone zones like mealtime, date
night, the moment you awake in the
morning, and the moment you return at
night. Protecting your borders means
that you establish routines to maintain
your connection.
Be careful not to fall into the pattern
of confiding your spousal disappoint-
ments to family and friends. There is no
benefit to be gained. They may unknow-
ingly encourage you to damage your re-
lationship. If need be, find a professional
or Rabbi/Rebbetzin/therapist to help you
navigate any challenges. Guard this most
cherished connection, the bond between
husband and wife.
Aish.com
Slovie Jungreis-Wolff is a parenting and
couples counselor and educator and the
author of Raising a Child With Soul, (St.
Martins Press). She is the daughter of the
late Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis.

6 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN AUGUST 2017

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN AUGUST 2017 7

The World of Tomorrow
In the World of Yesterday
ED SILBERFARB
T
hey called it The World of Tomor-
row, the 1939 New York Worlds
Fair, the second largest exposition
in U.S. history. Only the 1904 St. Louis fair
was bigger. For nine-year-old Ted it was
Magic Land. The Trylon and Perisphere
dominated. The Trylon was a 700-foot
shaft that seemed to pierce the sky, and
the Perisphere, a giant globe that, lo and
behold, one could enter after only a few
hours wait and look down from a moving
balcony to see a huge city in miniature.
That was just a prelude to what Gen-
eral Motors had to offer, The Futurama.
The wait on that line was even longer, but
once inside there was a ride on a movable
chair that gave Ted a spectacular view
of sleek highways, farms, towns and, of
course, cars of the future.
Then to the A.T.&T. exhibit, and more
waiting on line. Why? Ted wondered. He
soon found that out of every group of
10 on line, one person would win a free
phone call anywhere in the country. A
long distance phone call in those Depres-
sion years was a glittering prize, and, won-
der of wonders, Ted was a winner.
Who to call? He consulted his parents.
They knew no one in Los Angeles, Chi-
cago, New Orleans or Miami. They lived
in Jersey City. So did his grandparents.
He could call them, but they were just a
few miles across the river, hardly a long
distance call. Then they realized that Bal-
timore, where Teds aunt and uncle lived,
was a respectable 180 miles away, a dis-
tance worthy of what would have been a
scandalously expensive phone call.
Hi. Aunt Sylvia, this is Ted.
Ted, honey, whats wrong?
He calmed her with the extraordinary
story of the free phone call.
8 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN AUGUST 2017
GENERATION G
It would be hard to equal the excite-
ment of the long distance call but West-
inghouse came close with Electro, the
talking robot that had a 700-word vocabu-
lary specializing in insults.
My brain is bigger than yours, it
told Ted.
The Heinz food exhibit had attractions
of a different sort. It offered little pins de-
picting Heinz products including minia-
ture pickles, bottles of ketchup and cans
of beans. Ted left, his chest adorned with
Heinz mementos.
R.C.A. astounded Ted with a magic box
that displayed a talking picture, seem-
ingly plucked from the air. It was called
television. One side of the box was glass
so Ted could see the tubes and wires. No,
it was not a hoax.
Across the way, two young women
were having a tug-of-war with a thread
made of something called nylon. They
were showing how strong it was, but Ted
didnt think it would be of much use
To escape the summer heat Ted and
his parents found refuge in the Chrysler
exhibit where they could see how a car
was assembled while they cooled off with
strangely refrigerated air. And in the I.B.M.
building, Ted saw a machine that could
actually solve his fifth-grade math prob-
lems, an electric calculator.
For a small fee one could enter the
amphitheater and see Billy Roses Aqua-
cade, a thrilling display of diving and syn-
chronized swimming, mostly by young
ladies scantily clad in bathing suits. Ted, The Fair wasnt just for spectators. though, he put to use eagerly. It was a
who had recently passed his fifth grade There were activities for the daring and bamboo Chinese backscratcher.
pool test, was awed by the swimmers for adventurous. Ted worked up courage and In 1939, soon after the Fair opened, Ger-
whom water seemed their natural habitat. rode the roller coaster, which went zoom- many invaded Poland and World War II
Two of them were famous, Eleanor Holm ing up and down hills, around curves and had begun. The Czech pavilion closed and
and Johnny Weissmuller, who wasnt just plunged downward before climbing up to wouldnt reopen the next year. Before clos-
a swimmer. Ted knew him as Tarzan of do it all over again. Ted was wobbly when ing its exhibit Great Britain moved its most
the movies. it was over. precious document, the Magna Carta, for
Nearby was a steel frame tower with a safekeeping to Fort Knox. The Poland pa-
ring of seats on top. People sat in the seats, vilion was closed and draped in black.
which dropped from a terrifying height, When the Fair closed in 1940, a year
then were caught just before hitting the before Pearl Harbor, Japans pavilion, one
ground. It was called The Parachute Jump, of the most dazzling of all the nations,
one of the most popular attractions at the displayed a mural dedicated To Eternal
Fair. Ted decided to pass it up. Peace and Friendship between America
From the rides and amusements to the and Japan. By then, the theme of the Fair
Esplanade of Nations was a giant leap to had been changed from The World of
the exotic. There were displays from 60 Tomorrow to For Peace and Freedom.
countries. Even China, which was being Ted hoped for another visit. There was
ravished by a cruel war halfway around still more to see and do.
the world, made its presence known at
the Fair. Teds favorite souvenir was a six- Ed Silberfarb was a reporter for the Bergen
inch statuette of a Buddha made of pol- Record in New Jersey, then the New York
ished wood. He was told if he rubbed its Herald Tribune where he was City Hall bureau
round belly, a wish would come true. Ted chief. Later, he was a public information offi-
was reluctant to try. He thought it was cer for the New York City Transit Authority and
disrespectful. His other remembrance, editor of one of its employee publications.
 OurChildren
About

TopChoices A U G U S T 2 0 17
CO M P I L E D BY H E I D I M A E B RAT T

Dino Days of Summer

At Liberty Science Center
Now through Sept. 4 at Liberty Science Center in Jersey City, Dino-mite
days are happening. Visitors can channel their inner paleontologist by dig-
ging for fossils in 35 tons of sand at Jack Horners Dino Dig, meet and greet

The Feisty Eloise the scaliest residents, and learn about the relationship between reptiles and
dinosaurs, or practice removing fossils from blocks of rock. There is also

Comes Back to New York City

a Dino Tales story time, a find the Rex raffle, and a discount for kids who
come in dinosaur costumes. Liberty Science Center, Liberty State Park,
222 Jersey City Blvd. 201-200-1000, www.lsc.org.
The New York Historical Society celebrates the charm and audacious spirit of
Eloise, who continues to be a picture book superstar more than 60 years after her
debut. Eloise at the Museum reveals the collaboration between Kay Thompson
and illustrator Hilary Knight that brought the precocious character of Eloise to life.
The exhibition showcases more than 75 objects from original manuscript pages
to sketchbooks, portraits, photographs, and vintage dolls. New York Historical
Society,170 Central Park West, Manhattan, 212-873-3400, www.nyhistory.org.

Eileen Stauber, left and Cassie Romano

RPM Raceway Friendship

Is Raring to Go Solutions Opens in Hackensack
Pole Position Raceway in Jersey City is now RPM Raceway. The new brand,
A new after-school social skills program for students is set to open in Hackensack
RPM Raceway, is Americas ultimate all-electric indoor go-kart and entertain-
for the start of the school year. Friendship Solutions, the brainchild of Eileen Stauber
ment destination for children and adults, providing an authentic, exhilarat-
and Cassie Romano, both experienced board certified behavior analysts with Bergen
ing and memorable indoor track racing experience second only to climbing
County Special Services, will work with students 4 to 18 years old who, because of
into an actual race car. This move, company officials said, will better posi-
varying reasons, have social skills deficits. By learning and practicing these skills in a
tion the company to deliver enhanced racing and entertainment experi-
fun and supportive environment, said Ms. Stauber, these students will increase their
ences. RPM Raceway, 99 Caven Point Road, Jersey City. 201-333-7223,
social skills and improve the quality of their lives. Friendship Solutions,141 Main St.
www.rpmraceway.com.
Second Floor, Hackensack. 201-390-8019, friendshipsolutionsllcgmail.com.

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN AUGUST 2017 9

 OurChildren
About

The Good Life With Kids

A U G U S T
To Add Your Event to Our Calendar
Send it to:
Calendar Editor
About Our Children
New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group
1086 Teaneck Road
Teaneck, NJ 0766 AboutOCaol.com
To Our Readers: This calendar is a day-by-day schedule of events. Although all information is as timely as we can make it, its a good idea to call to or fax it to: 201-833-4959
Deadline for September issue (published August 25):
verify details before you go. Tuesday, August 15

DaybyDay
Monday, July 31
Stettheimer Summer Monday: Illustrate stories
using watercolor crayons within unique accordion
books based on the images found in Florine
Stettheimers artwork, an exhibition on display.
1 to 4 p.m. Ages 3 and up. Free with admission.
The Jewish Museum, 1109 Fifth Ave., Manhattan.
212-423-3200, www.thejewishmuseum.org.
Tuesday, August 1
Toddler Time at the Teaneck Library: Story time
for children up to 2 years old. Meets at 10 a.m.
and 11 a.m. Teaneck Public Central Library, 840
Teaneck, Road, Teaneck. 201-837-4171. www.
teaneck.org.
Free movie in Bergenfield: Kung Fu Panda
3 plays for free 10 a.m. at Bow Tie Bergenfield
Cinema 5, 58 S. Washington Ave., Bergenfield.
201-385-1600.
Wednesday, August 2
Free movie in Bergenfield: Kung Fu Panda
3 plays for free 10 a.m. at Bow Tie Bergenfield
Cinema 5, 58 S. Washington Ave., Bergenfield.
201-385-1600.
Thursday, August 3
Lap Time at the Teaneck Library: Story time for
infants not yet walking. Meets at 11 a.m. Teaneck
Public Central Library, 840 Teaneck Road,
Teaneck. 201-837-4171, www.teaneck.org.
Broadway in Bryant Park: The most popular
shows on and off Broadway perform their biggest
hits. 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. Bryant Park, W. 42 St., and
6th and 5th Avenues, Manhattan. www.bryantpark.
org/programs/broadway-in-bryant-park.
Friday, August 4
West Side Story at bergenPAC: The Performing
Arts School at bergenPAC will be presenting
West Side Story through special arrangement
with Music Theatre International (MTI). West Side
Story is one of the most memorable musicals
and greatest love stories of all time. 8 p.m. Also
Aug. 5, 8 p.m. and Aug. 6 3 p.m. bergenPAC,
30 N. Van Brunt St., Englewood, 201-227-1030,
www.bergenpac.org.
Tuesday, August 8
Free movie in Bergenfield: Hotel Transylvania
2 plays for free 10 a.m. at Bow Tie Bergenfield
Cinema 5, 58 S. Washington Ave., Bergenfield.
201-385-1600.
Toddler Time at the Teaneck Library: Story
time for children up to 2 years old. Meets at 10
a.m. and 11 a.m. Teaneck Public Central Library,
840 Teaneck, Road, Teaneck. 201-837-4171.
www.teaneck.org.
Wednesday, August 9
Free movie in Bergenfield: Hotel Transylvania
2 plays for free 10 a.m. at Bow Tie Bergenfield
Cinema 5, 58 S. Washington Ave., Bergenfield.
201-385-1600
Crafts at Bergen Town Center: The Summer
Craft Series at The Outlets at Bergen Town
Center features a different craft each week in
Center Court. Children must be accompanied
by an adult. 1 Bergen Town Center, Paramus,
bergentowncenter.com
Thursday, August 10
Lap Time at the Teaneck Library: Story time for
infants not yet walking. Meets at 11 a.m. Teaneck
Public Central Library, 840 Teaneck Road,
Teaneck. 201-837-4171, www.teaneck.org.
Broadway in Bryant Park: The most popular
shows on and off Broadway perform their biggest
hits. 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. Bryant Park, W. 42 St.,
and 6th and 5th Avenues, Manhattan. www.bry-
antpark.org/programs/broadway-in-bryant-park.
Friday, August 11
Shabbat in Paramus: The JCC of Paramus/
Congregation Beth Tikvah hosts an open house/
Jersey Shore Comics & Costumes Summer
Garden: A child-friendly hike in the gardens
woodlands where youll learn about plants and
Jersey Shore Comics & Costumes Summer
Show, see Sunday, August 20.
barbecue/family service/gym time, for prospective
families and their children, 6:30 p.m. East 304
Midland Ave. Free, but reservations are required.
(201) 983-9430, email hblesq@yahoo.com, or
go to www.jccparamus.org. Tuesday, August 15
Tuesday, August 15
Free movie in Bergenfield: Cloudy with a
Chance of Meatballs 2 plays for free 10 a.m. at
Bow Tie Bergenfield Cinema 5, 58 S. Washington
Ave., Bergenfield. 201-385-1600.
Toddler Time at the Teaneck Library: Story time
for children up to 2 years old. Meets at 10 a.m.
and 11 a.m. Teaneck Public Central Library, 840
Teaneck, Road, Teaneck. 201-837-4171. www.
teaneck.org
Teaneck. 201-837-4171,www.teaneck.org.
Dog Days of Summer Newark Museum:
Outdoor movies for dogs and their pet owners.
Free for members, Newark residents, children
under 10 and furry friends. $10 others. Showing
Good Boy! 8:30 to 10 p.m. 49 Washington St.,
Newark, 973-569-6550.
Sunday, August 20
Show: Comic book festival featuring vendors, art-
ists, writers, costume groups, crafts. Raffles, door
prizes, costume contest. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Toms
River Elks, 600 Washington St., Toms River. 609-
242-7756, www.jerseyshorecomicbookshow.com.
Maywood Summer Street Fair: Entertainment,
live music, kiddie rides, food, pony rides, clowns
and more. Free. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. West Pleasant
Avenue, Maywood.
Family Woodland Hike at New Jersey Botanical
animals. Younger children may need to be car-
ried. Wear sturdy shoes. Meet at the Carriage
House Visitor Center. Free. 1 p.m. 2 Morris Road,
Ringwood. www.njbg.org.
Monday, August 21
Enrollment Night at My Gym, Glen Rock: Check
out what My Gym in Glen Rock is about. Meet the
staff and see the clean and bright facility. Specials
will be offered. 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. 522 South
Broad St., Glen Rock. 201-444-4644. www.
mygymm.com/glenrock.
Thursday, August 24
Dog Days of Summer Newark Museum:
Outdoor movies for dogs and their pet owners.
Free for members, Newark residents, children
under 10 and furry friends. $10 others. Showing
Hotel for Dogs 8:30 to 10 p.m. 49 Washington
St., Newark, 973-569-6550.
Summer Reading Party Finale: Fun, snacks, and
prizes. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. Teaneck Public
Central Library, 840 Teaneck Road, Teaneck. 201-
837-4171, www.teaneck.org.

Wednesday, August 16 Sunday, August 27

Hip Hop Day Festival: An all-day dance fest in
Free movie in Bergenfield: Cloudy with a Jersey City that pays tribute to the four elements
Chance of Meatballs 2 plays for free 10 a.m. at of Hip Hop, displaying B-Boy& B-Girl, Emcee
Bow Tie Bergenfield Cinema 5, 58 S. Washington Battles, Turntablism and Graffiti artists 1 Exchange
Ave., Bergenfield. 201-385-1600. Place, Jersey City.
Tzofim Friendship Caravan in Wayne:
Celebrating more than 40 years of excitement,
energy and friendship to North American. They
take the stage at Rosen PAC. Free. 7 to 8 p.m.,
Rosen PAC, 1 Pike Drive, Wayne. 973-595-0100.
Donny & Marie at bergenPAC: Americas beloved
sibling entertainers are bringing their summer
tour to bergenPAC. Donny and Marie mix the
spirit of their early television specials and record-
ings with a nostalgic look back on their storied
career in a dynamic stage show showcasing fan
favorites. 8 p.m. bergenPAC, 30 N. Van Brunt St.,
Englewood, 201-227-1030, www.bergenpac.org.

Thursday, August 17
Lap Time at the Teaneck Library: Story time for
infants not yet walking. Meets at 11 a.m. Teaneck West Side Story, see Friday, August 4
Stettheimer Summer Monday, see Monday, July 31 Public Central Library, 840 Teaneck Road,

10 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN AUGUST 2017

 Simchas
OurChildren
About

Friendship Circle End-of-Summer Camp

While many parents struggle with the sev-
en to 10-day gap between the end of sum-
mer programs and commencement of the
new school year, parents of children with
Births special needs find this period especially
challenging.
Children and teens with special needs
can have their break transformed into an
exciting camp experience, filled with ac-
tivities, sports and fun. The Friendship
Circle of Passaic County will be holding
an end-of-summer camp from Aug. 28
through Aug. 31. Camp will run from 9:30
a.m. to 1:30 p.m. and take place in the low-
er level of The Chabad Center, 194 Ratzer
Road, Wayne. The cost is $20 per day and
includes lunch.
Volunteers, along with a registered
nurse, will be focused on encouraging
the childrens participation and enjoy-
ment under the guidance staff members.
If you or someone you know could benefit
from this experience, or you would like to
volunteer, please call at 973-694-4970 or
register at fcpassaiccounty.com under
programs or volunteers.

Family-Centered Services
Sadie and Aidan Gomberg
Sadie Gomberg was born on June 16 at
Noa and Ella Gomberg
Meital and Matthew Gomberg of Valley
At Temple Beth Tikvah
Holy Name Medical Center in Teaneck to Cottage, N.Y. She joins a big sister, Ella
Leah and Alex Gomberg of Fair Lawn. She Liat, 2. Their grandparents are Debbie and Temple Beth Tikvah in Wayne is offer- other high-holiday services will continue
joins a big brother, Aidan, 3. Their grand- Kenny Gomberg of New City, N.Y., and ing new family-centered high holy days as usual.
parents are Debbie and Kenny Gomberg Osnat and Haim Geri of Aventura, Fla. services where families will help lead Children of all ages are welcome.
of New City, N.Y., and Michele and Avi the participatory services, which will The new Gates of Repentance for Young
The girls, first cousins, both weighed 7
Mazala of Roxbury.
pounds, 4 ounces, and were both 19 include conversation, prayer, song and People, a Machzor (High Holiday prayer
Noa Mati Gomberg was born on July 9 at inches long. storytelling. book) designed for families with children
Holy Name Medical Center in Teaneck to The new Family-Friendly Services are aged 8 and older, will be used
not childrens services. Rather, they are For more information, tbtritual@
designed for parents to worship with their gmail.com or notify Lisa George,
children. Grandparents are welcomed, as 201-406-8677 or JLGeorge17@aol.com.
RYAN WIEN well. It will replace the late morning ser- Temple Beth Tivkah, 950 Preakness Ave.,
Ryan Wien (Ruven Levi), son of Julie and Lawrence Wien and vice on Rosh Hashanah Day 1, and the Wayne, is a Reform Jewish Congregation
brother of Tyler, is attending New York Universitys Steinhardt late morning service on Yom Kippur. All founded in 1956.
Summer Intensive Art Program for high school students. He
is one of 54 accepted students worldwide. The program runs
through August 6, and in September, he will begin his junior year at
High Northern Valley Old Tappan High School.

School
Corner
Ryan has special needs and has overcome many obstacles
throughout the years. His passion is in digital art enjoys painting
and drawing. The family belongs to Chabad of Old Tappan led
PARTY
by Rabbi Mendy Lewis. His grandparents are Edith and the late
Stephen S. Wien of Alpine, and Kenneth H. Lynn and Susan Lynn of
Farmington Hills, Mich.

B'nai Mitzvah

973-661-9368

MOLLIE GOOD
Mollie Good, daughter of Julie and Charles
Good of Oakland, and sister of Benjamin,
10, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah
on June 10, at Barnert Temple in Franklin
Lakes.
Include:
1 hours of skating (during public session)
Private decorated party room
Off ice party attendant
Skate rental
JENNIFER MASON Invitations for party guests
Jennifer Mason, daughter of Mindy and Pizza and soda
Daniel Mason of Oakland, and sister of Personalized Carvel ice cream cake
Favors and candy
Krystal, 11, celebrated becoming a bat mitz- FREE skating pass for future use
vah on June 3 at Barnert Temple in Franklin Birthday child receives FREE Ice Vault T shirt
Lakes.

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Editorial
Saluting courage
T with excessive mourning, fasting
his week perhaps ironically, given that
the health care bill has arisen from the
dead and seems to lurch zombie-like into
our future we concentrate on those peo-
ple who manage to rise above the physical to give
more than it seems possible that anyone could give.
Rabbi Shelley Kniaz joins the select but growing
list of local organ donors. Like Barbara Goldin, the
rebbetzin of Congregation Ahavath Torah in Engle-
wood, like Cantor Eric Wasser, then of the Fair
Lawn Jewish Center, like Rabbi Ephraim Simon
of Chabad Teaneck, like Rabbi Larry Rothwachs
of Congregation Beth Aaron, Rabbi Kniaz put her
own comfort far behind her desire to help some-
one else.
(And of course we know that not all kidney
donors are clergy or clergy-adjacent. These are just
the public names that come to mind. This is the
opposite of an exhaustive list.)
Rabbi Kniaz, as the story on page 10 shows,
wanted to give her kidney to Cantor Leon Lissek, a
beloved Holocaust survivor. She could not they
were not compatible. But her donated kidney put
him at the top of the list in the way that Jewish
connections and small-worldedness seems to work,
he will be getting a kidney from the daughter of
the president of his old Midwestern shul and she
saved someone elses life with hers.
Not everyone can do this. Not everyone is
healthy enough, not everyone is strong enough,
and to be straightforward not everyone is brave
enough. (Im not!) But we salute the wonderful
people who are.
Also this week, we hear the story of Simone Hil-
fstein Scheumann, who rode with 160 others from
Auschwitz to the Krakow JCC, to raise funds for
a preschool at the JCC (young Jewish children in
Krakow!) despite Krakow being the city where her
parents and many relatives were deported, most
to their deaths.
It is a story of life rising from death; it does not
at all diminish the scope of the depraved horror
of those deaths to acknowledge the life now. But
the Polish countryside is beautiful, and the exalta-
tion of being out in that green-and-blue loveliness,
feeling their legs and hearts and lungs at straining
work, helps people strain despite death toward life.
We salute everyone strong and brave enough to
do these things.
We wish those of our readers who fast on Tisha
BAv an easy and meaningful fast, and we wish all
of our readers a happier August. JP
Jewish Editor
Joanne Palmer
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James L. Janoff
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Marcia Garfinkle
thejewishstandard.com
22 Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017
keeping the faith
Rethinking periods of stringency
T
his coming Monday evening not only begins the The Torah does not memorialize catastrophes. They will
gruesome 25-hour fast known as Tisha BAv (the not be forgotten because they are on record, and that is con-
Ninth of Av), it also marks the beginning of the end sidered to be enough in the Torahs view.
of two distinct but congruent periods of mourning On the other hand, elsewhere in the Tanach, we are told
the Three Weeks and its final Nine Days. of four public fasts (see Zechariah 8:19), as well as private
Should these mourning periods even be on our calendar? fasts (see, for example, II Samuel 12:2223), and one-time
The Three Weeks, with its proscriptions against listening fasts following calamities (see Judges 20:26, I Samuel 7:6
to music, going to celebrations, cutting hair and shaving and 14:24, and II Chronicles 20:3.) There also were fasts
and such, began on the Fast of the 17th of Tammuz (Shi- meant to thwart calamities, the most famous of which were
vah Asar bTammuz). The Nine Days, which involve even the spontaneous fasts that broke out throughout Persia after
more stringent mourning rituals, began last Sunday at sun- Hamans plot was revealed, and the three-day fast Esther
down, at the start of the month of Av. These additional ritu- ordered in Shushan before she approached the king. (See
als include refraining from eating meat or drinking wine, Esther 4:3 and 16; note that there is nothing in the Book of
except on Shabbat; bathing, except under very Esther that ordains a permanent annual fast,
strict guidelines; doing laundry; and wearing however.)
new clothes (or even pressed ones, according All this leads to question whether the Three
to some communities). Weeks should be abolished, and whether the
The Three Weeks marks the time between restrictive rules relating to the Nine Days
the breaching of Jerusalems walls and the should be refined. To do both would seem
destruction of the Temple. According to tra- to be consistent with the Torahs view, and in
dition, the breach occurred on the 17th of keeping with the views of our Sages of Blessed
Tammuz, leading to the Temples destruction Memory.
exactly three weeks later, on Tisha BAv. Each To begin with, the Sages believed that exces-
day during this period brought us closer to Shammai sive mourning can have fatal consequences.
great calamity. Thus, the entire period is des- Engelmayer (See BT Moed Katan 27b.)
ignated for public mourning. Then there is the matter of the four public
According to Jeremiah 39:2 and 52:6, how- fasts noted in Zechariah 8:19the fast of the
ever, the walls of Jerusalem in the First Temple period were fourth month [Tammuz] and the fast of the fifth [Tisha BAv]
breached on the Ninth of Tammuz, not the 17th. (That is and the fast of the seventh [the Fast of Gedaliah on the third
when the walls were said to have been breached before the of Tishrei] and the fast of the tenth [month, meaning the
Second Temples destruction.) As for Tisha BAv, according Tenth of Tevet]. Zechariah, quoting God, says of those fast
to II Kings 25:8-9, the First Temple was destroyed on the sev- days that they will one day become occasions for joy and
enth of Av, while Jeremiah 52:12 claims it happened on the gladness, happy festivals.
tenth. No biblical source claims the ninth, however. What is that supposed to mean? Said [the Babylonian
(The Jerusalem Talmud supports the 17th of Tammuz sage] Rav Papa: This is what it says: In times of peace, [these
as the day the walls were breached in the case of the First days] shall be for joy and gladness; if [it is a time when]
Temple. A Tosafot in the Babylonian Talmud Tractate Rosh there is government persecution, they shall be fast days; if
Hashanah 18b explains that the Jerusalem Talmud believed there is neither government persecution nor peace, those
the two verses in Jeremiah were corrupted.) who wish to do so may fast while those who do not wish to
The Torah, as I noted in my pre-Tisha BAv column last do so do not fast. (See BT Rosh Hashanah 18b)
year, says nothing about mourning calamities of the past. While Jews in most parts of the world are free from for-
The lifestyle the Torah prescribes celebrates life; it does not mal government persecution, the Jews in Israel (and argu-
burden life by establishing memorials to the catastrophes of ably in France and elsewhere) cannot be said to be living in
yesteryear. It does not ask us, for example, to mark the hor- total peace. The Talmud, therefore, seems to suggest that
rific mass murder of the newborn male children in Egypt, or these four fasts are optional at this time. The only excep-
the murderous attack Amalek launched against our elderly, tion, according to Rav Papa, is Tisha BAv, because so many
infirm, and very young during the march to Sinai. other calamities occurred on that date since Zechariahs
Shammai Engelmayer is rabbi of Temple Israel Community Center | Congregation Heichal Yisrael in Cliffside Park and
Temple Beth El of North Bergen.
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time (not to mention how many more have occurred
since Rav Papas day). It follows that if the fast of the
fourth month is optional, there is no reason for the
three weeks that follow it to be days of mourning.
What of the eight days that precede Tisha BAv?
The Talmud (see BT Taanit 26b) does say that from
the start of Av we decrease our rejoicing, but it lim-
its serious mourning rituals only to the days leading
up to Tisha BAv in the week in which the fast actually
falls, not from the First of Av. This is repeated in BT
- Yevamot 43a: During the week in which the Ninth of
Av occurs, it is forbidden to cut the hair and to wash
clothes. The most restrictive rules, according to BT
Taanit 26b, relate only to the day before Tisha BAv:
On Erev Tisha BAv, one does not eat two cooked
6 dishes [during the same meal, because this suggests
feasting; presumably, this is limited to the final meal
before the fast], and does not eat meat nor drink wine.
r Interestingly, Rambam (Maimonides) qualifies this.
r He avers that not eating meat is the accepted custom
in the week in which Tisha BAv falls, but he seems to
f consider that an option. Of the rule in BT Taanit itself,
, their own faith without government com-
The period known as
the Three Weeks is a
stringency that does
- not appear to be
. supported by the
practice of our
Sages, and even the
] And while not all Americans are obligated to provide for
Fast of the 17th of
Tammuz would seem
t Jews, more than most, certainly should understand the
to be at best an
option in our day.
n argued that the State of Israel, a country with an estab-
] he says it applies only when on Erev Tisha BAv a per-
f son ate [the final meal before the fast] after midday. If,
however, he eats [that final meal] before midday, he
may eat whatever he desires. (See his Mishneh Torah
Taanit 5:8.)
- The period known as the Three Weeks is a strin-
- gency that does not appear to be supported by the
practice of our Sages, and even the Fast of the 17th of
t Tammuz would seem to be at best an option in our day.
- While the Nine Days were seen by the Sages as a time
y of limited mourning, only the days of the week leading
up to Tisha BAv were seen as restrictive by them, and
the most severe rules applied only to the day before
Tisha BAv, and on Tisha BAv itself.
Perhaps, this is how we should approach these days,
as well. How sad it is, then, that merely raising such
questions can get someone labeled a heretic. That cer-
tainly is a reason to fast on Tisha BAv.
The opinions expressed in this section are those of
the authors, not necessarily those
of the newspapers editors, publishers, or other
staffers. We welcome letters to the editor.
Send them to jstandardletters@gmail.com.
Opinion
Liberal hypocrisy at home
F
or quite some time, liberal American Jewish
leaders have condemned Israels government
for refusing to devote sufficient resources to
an egalitarian prayer site at the Western Wall
the Kotel.
In doing so, however, some of these leaders have acted
in a hypocritical and myopic manner, taking a maximal-
ist position on religious liberty abroad and a
minimalist one at home. Indeed, we could
describe their behavior as worse than hyp-
ocritical. For while they have demanded
that the government of Israel build a public
prayer space suited to their own sensibili-
ties, here in America they have opposed the
individual rights of Catholic nuns to practice
pulsion. This contradictory conduct begs
the question: do American Jews support reli- Rabbi
gious liberty unreservedly, or are we merely Mitchell
looking out for our own interests? Rocklin
As a reservist military chaplain, one of
my roles, for more than a decade, has been
to provide for the free exercise of religion by all military
personnel. Countless Jewish chaplains carry out this
mission, whether in the military, hospitals, prisons, or
other institutions. In fact, one of the hallmarks of a good
chaplain is that he takes the free exercise of religion so
seriously that he works equally hard to help members
of other faiths as he works for his own co-religionists.
others in the way that a chaplain is, we should all fight
for the right of others to practice their religion freely.
importance of this freedom and of peaceful coexistence.
In the case of the Kotel, liberal Jewish groups have
lished and government-supported religion, must accom-
modate a minority: egalitarian worshippers who wish
to conduct communal egalitarian services at the Kotel.
Whatever your views on this issue, this is a coherent
argument. In Israel, the state both protects individu-
als free exercise of religion and regulates the practice
of religion in those religious facilities that are public (as
opposed to private) whether they are synagogues, rit-
ual baths, or the Kotel plaza. Therefore, the argument
goes, the state ought to accommodate all worshippers
who wish to worship in these public places, providing
them with the opportunity to pray as they please.
This is complicated in Israel, since it involves the
government investing resources, as opposed to merely
allowing individuals their free exercise rights. The
Israeli governments compromise regarding the Kotel,
for instance, involved spending money and dealing with
archeological problems in order to expand the current
egalitarian space on the southern end of the Kotel. This
is, therefore, a political decision, and not a simple one of
individual rights. But the liberal argument is quite logi-
cal here, whether you agree with it or not.
The same cannot be said for what the Union for
Reform Judaism, the Central Conference of American
Rabbis, the American Jewish Committee, and the Jew-
ish Council for Public Affairs argued in a friend of the
court brief to the U.S. Supreme Court just last year.
The case in question was called Little Sisters of the
Poor v. Burwell, and it involved the federal government
requiring a charity run by Catholic nuns to violate its
religious beliefs by helping the government provide
employees with contraception, abortifacients, and
sterilizations.
The very first brief filed in this case was submitted by
a group of Orthodox Jewish rabbis, of which I was one.
Other Orthodox Jewish groups soon lined up behind the
nuns as well. The Conservative movement
did not submit a brief in the case. The URJ,
CCAR, AJC, and JCPA, however, went so
far as to tell the court that Catholic nuns
have no right to determine when their own
religious beliefs are being burdened sub-
stantially by governmental action. Only a
judge, they claimed, can make this deter-
mination. It is not clear to me how these
Jewish groups are being any more generous
to the nuns than Israels government, influ-
enced by charedim, was to the Women of
the Wall when it told them that they are not
burdened substantially by being unable to
gather publicly for prayer at the Kotel in the
way that they pleased. In one case, they argued, Catholic
nuns effectively had no private freedom of religion in the
face of government demands. In the other, they argued
that Israeli government demands must not only make
way for egalitarian prayer groups, but must fund and
provide for them in a governmental prayer area as well.
If liberal Jewish organizations cannot find it in their
hearts to protect religious liberty in the United States,
a country without established religion, then I wonder
what it is we are trying to accomplish by seeking to pro-
tect religious access in Israel, a country with an estab-
lished religion. Espousing both of these views is incoher-
ent in the extreme.
Unfortunately, the URJ, the CCAR, the AJC, and the
JCPA have not displayed any signs of changing their
views on religious liberty right here in America. Indeed,
the Anti-Defamation League took a similar position, sup-
porting a Colorado government effort to force a Chris-
tian bakery to make a customized wedding cake with a
message that it did not agree with. This constitutes not
merely a violation of freedom of religion, but a violation
of freedom of speech.
But it is not too late. The Supreme Court recently
decided to grant an appeal for the above-mentioned
case in Colorado: Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado
Civil Rights Commission. This case marks an opportu-
nity for Jews of all denominations to rally behind the
First Amendment, insisting that we will protect freedom
of speech and freedom of religion for all, regardless of
whether we agree with any particular speech or religion.
As American Jews, we have enough to do in our own
backyard before delving into Israeli matters. The ques-
tion is whether this time, unlike in Little Sisters of the
Poor, liberal Jewish organizations will support the cuase
of protecting the most fundamental rights we having as
Americans the rights of private individuals to speak
and worship as they please.
Rabbi Mitchell Rocklin is a resident research fellow at the
Tikvah Fund. He is also a chaplain with the rank of captain
in the New Jersey Army National Guard and a doctoral
candidate in U.S. history at the City University of New York.
He lives in Teaneck with his wife and two daughters.
Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017 23
Opinion
Erasing history vs. just smudging it
A
t the risk of giving you an earworm, Id like
to play a revised version of Sesame Streets
(slightly renamed) Which of These Things Are
Not Like the Others song/game.
1. New Orleans removing the statute of Robert E. Lee and
other Confederate statues, monuments, and memorials.
2. Yale renaming the John Calhoun residential college.
3. Proposing that Princeton delete Woodrow Wilsons
name from its School of Public & International Affairs and
a residential college.
4. Removing the names of former school presidents
from Georgetown University buildings.
5. Limiting the display of the Confederate flag.
6. Removing the fact that the assassin of Gandhi was
a Hindu nationalist from an Indian states social studies
textbooks.
7. The Kremlins altering photographs by removing
images of purged officials.
8. UNESCOs denying the historical connection between
the Jewish people and Jerusalem and similar denials by
others of a Jewish connection to eretz Yisrael.
9. North Korean state newspapers deleting 99 percent
of their online archives.
10. Denying that Jews were gassed in Auschwitz.
First, the similarities. All of these actions have been
called, by some, erasing history. Now the differences:
numbers 6 through 10 do, in fact, attempt to erase history.
Numbers 1 through 5 do not.
Let me explain.
In the second group, either historical facts are physi-
cally removed from the public record or the existence
A view from the pew
Some thoughts on officiating at interfaith weddings
T
he 1960s were a transformational decade in the life
of American Jewry. In my last op-ed, at the end
of May, I shared with you my reflections upon the
Six Day War, recalling both the impact the semi-
nal event had upon me as a 19-year-old college freshman, and
how the results and consequences of the 1967 war continue
to play a role in the unfolding of world history, Jewish history,
and the relationship between Israeli and American Jewry.
The 1960s also were a time of great social change within
America. While American Jews were not the primary focus of
either the Civil Rights Act or the legislation that created Medi-
care and Medicaid, both of these historic legislative achieve-
ments have greatly affected American Jewish life. I hope that
all of you are reaching out actively to Congress to protect the
Medicare and Medicaid funding that is so vital to so many
Americans, including the vast majority of the residents of
Jewish nursing homes across America. The Civil Rights Act
opened educational opportunities, made discrimination in
housing illegal, and opened previously closed doors of univer-
sities and neighborhoods to Jews, along with other minorities.
While the impact of the Six Day War contributed to
increased pride and commitment to world Jewry, the opening
of opportunity in the 1960s resulted in American Jews becom-
ing more integrated into American life. Today, Jews can and
do live wherever we want. The unintended consequence is
that the American Jewish community is more diffuse. Inter-
marriage, once viewed as an act of rebellion, now is a result
of who Jews meet, and of our acceptance as equal members
of American society. For the past half century, the party line
24 Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017
of indisputable historical facts are denied. federal civil service, which previously had
Thus, the ideology of Gandhis assassin has been either ignored or downplayed, also
been excised from at least one Indian states finally are getting the public notice, discus-
history curriculum, the Soviet Union liter- sion, and place in American history courses
ally erased faces of purged Communist Party they deserve.
leaders from important photographs, and I dont deny that something is, in fact,
the cleansing of North Korean newspapers happening, but its not erasing history.
online archives eradicated any history they Rather, by finally recognizing a more
contained. And ignoring the facts establish- comprehensive story, it is honors and
ing the millennia-old relationships between Joseph C. glorification, not history, that are being
Jews and Jerusalem and Israel is an attempt Kaplan rethought, removed, and erased. The pur-
which so far and hopefully forever will be pose of the Battle of Liberty Place Monu-
unsuccessful to erase those relationships ment and others like it, of flying the Con-
from humanitys memory. The same is true with respect federate flag, and of putting names on buildings was not
to Holocaust denial. to teach history. It was to honor sometimes intention-
The reason that none of the first group is erasing his- ally, sometimes not white supremacy, either in the
tory is simple. Indeed it is almost a tautology; no history guise of a terrorist group that attempted to overthrow
is being erased. Photographs and textbooks arent being New Orleans integrated government and police force
censored or altered, curricula arent being red-penciled, during Reconstruction, of rebels who fought for the
newspaper stories arent being destroyed, and undeni- right to continue to own enslaved people, and of those
able facts arent being, well, denied. To the contrary, the people who often in addition to praiseworthy activities
changes proposed and/or carried out represent an also participated in the slave trade, passionately pro-
honest attempt to come to grips with a more complete, moted slavery as positive good, or used their power to
and often more complicated, picture of a history that until increase discrimination.
now had been bowdlerized. Removing these monuments, symbols, and names
For example, whether or not Wilsons name continues rejects and tries to remove this honor and glorification.
to grace Princetons buildings, his laudable successes as (Those are words supporters rarely use.) But the history
president (including his important support of the Bal- remains.
four Declaration) still will be taught and written about, Ironically, some of those who shout youre erasing his-
as they should be. Now, however, his racist policies tory the loudest are the ones actually holding the erasers
and deplorable institutionalizing of segregation in the in their hands. Those who proudly wave the Confederate
within the American Jewish community has with family members and close friends, I was
been to confront intermarriage with hostility, challenged to explain why my position was not
and to equate intermarriage with the loss of Jew- a hypocritical cop-out. How can I balance my
ish identity. But the 2013 Pew research study of continued personal commitment to engage in
American Jewry has called the perception that proactive outreach to interfaith families but not
there is a direct correlation between intermar- officiate at weddings unless both partners are
riage and assimilation into question. Jewish? Can I applaud actions of colleagues if I
Opposition to intermarriage is not limited to will not do them myself?
the Orthodox community. Both the Reform and My decision not to officiate at interfaith wed-
Conservative movements have longstanding res- Rabbi Neal I. dings is not based upon a fear of assimilation,
olutions against rabbinic officiation at interfaith Borovitz which is a larger issue and food for thought
marriages. However, to quote the strange and for a future column. Rather, it is my personal
often estranged Jewish Nobel Prize winner Bob interpretation of the meaning of marriage and
Dylan, The times they are a changin. Recently, a number of the Jewish wedding ceremony that keeps me from doing it.
my colleagues whom I know and respect, in both the Reform The Jewish ceremony is meant to be a miniature covenant, in
and Conservative movements, have announced publicly that which the couple not only makes promises to each other, but
they are changing their position and in the future will officiate also, as a new family, embraces their shared covenant with
at interfaith weddings if the couple is committed to establish- their Jewish community. Therefore, it is assumed that both
ing a Jewish home. people are Jewish. Under Jewish law, the presence of a rabbi
I applaud them for their thoughtful stance, even though at at a wedding is unnecessary. (Halacha requires only two Jew-
this point I am not going to change my personal position. I do ish witnesses.) Rabbinic officiation at weddings is, however, a
not officiate at interfaith wedding ceremonies. I also find that centuries-old tradition, insurance that the ceremony would be
my position has evolved. I once was critical of rabbinic col- done in accordance with Jewish law.
leagues who did not take my position. Today, as someone who What traditional Jewish law does stipulate is that the bride
believes in Jewish pluralism in all ritual matters, I see officia- and groom commit themselves to each other kdat Moshe
tion at interfaith weddings as a legitimate difference of opin- vYisrael, in accordance with the laws of Moses and
ion, where people on both sides of the argument must avoid Israel. To me, the implication is clear. Jewish marriage is two
condemning the other. people entering into a personal covenant that is linked to the
As I wrote these few last sentences and discussed them covenant between God and the Jewish people.

flag while claiming that the Civil War
and the Confederacy were not about
slavery are the ones who try to erase
the second line in Mississippis Decla-
ration of Secession our position is
thoroughly identified with the institu-
tion of slavery the greatest material
interest of the world and similar
language in other such declarations.
Denying the pro-slavery and discrim-
inatory aspects of the Confederate
symbols and statues being disman-
tled, and making heroes out of those
being removed from the pedestals,
are as wrong as denying the atrocities
of Auschwitz.
Its this last connection that makes
it so important for our community
to identify and oppose real, and
not pseudo, erasures of history. If
we are indifferent to erasing part
of our history as Americans, it can
be done, Heaven forbid, to our his-
tory as Jews. Erasing the true causes
of the Civil War and its participants
and aftermath and continuing to
honor and memorialize undeserv-
ing people and events is just one
step removed from erasing the Jew-
ish peoples glorious history over
thousands of years in Israel and
I also believe that any wedding cer-
emony, be it religious or civil, should
truly and without reservation, reflect
the understandings that bind the part-
ners together. Thus, at a same gender
wedding at which I will officiate the
traditional vows and blessings should
be changed to reflect the gender of the
couple. Reform liturgy now reflects this.
However, if Judaism is not what binds
the couple together, a Jewish exchange
of vows does not honestly reflect the
covenant of the two people getting mar-
ried and the values and beliefs that bind
them one to the other.
Though I have never officiated at a
wedding where both partners were not
Jews, I do attend interfaith weddings
of family members and dear friends.
In counseling interfaith couples, my
practice over the last 42 years has been
to invite non-Jews to consider conver-
sion and to offer to teach and guide the
couple on their journey. I simultane-
ously have encouraged couples, when
I see that conversion is not a path that
the non-Jewish partner is ready to take,
to find a civil officiate. I have helped
many of them put together a wedding
Jerusalem, and proclaiming Hebron
as a Palestinian heritage site.
Of course, as with most matters
of historic import or, indeed, any
import nuance is always help-
ful. Thus, for example, if I were
emperor of Princeton, I would
decree that Wilsons name remain
on the Public & International Affairs
School because his achievements
in those areas deserve honor. But I
also would order his name removed
from the residential college, because
no African-American student should
have to choose between living in a
dormitory named after someone
with Wilsons shameful racial record
and being excluded from member-
ship in a particular mini-community.
But Im no emperor, so Prince-
tons on its own.
Our tradition teaches over and
over that the seal of the Holy One
is emet truth. (BT: Shabbat 55a;
Yoma 69b; Sanhedrin 64a) And our
seal should be imitatio Dei.
Joseph C. Kaplan, a regular
contributor, has been living in
Teaneck and practicing law in
Manhattan for many years.
ceremony that reflects who they are as
a couple. I firmly believe that a wed-
ding ceremony must honestly reflect
the we who that particular couple is
committed to becoming.
We begin the reading of the book of
Deuteronomy this week. With the com-
memoration of Tisha BAv on Monday
night, we also begin our annual count-
down to a new Jewish year. In this last
book of Torah, the command to be
inclusive of the widow, the orphan, and
the ger, the non-Jew living within our
community, is repeated many times. I
hear in this repetitive call a reminder
that all of us need to become more pro-
active in reaching out to not only the
elderly and disabled within our com-
munity, through political action and tze-
daka, but also to be equally proactive,
both individually and communally, in
reaching out and welcoming interfaith
families into our communities.
Neal Borovitz, rabbi emeritus of Temple
Avodat Shalom in River Edge, is a former
chair of Jewish Community Relations
Council of the Jewish Federation of
Northern New Jersey.
Does Haaretzs position
strengthen BDS?
R
ecently, the French
president, Emanuel
Macron, said, we
will not surrender to
anti-Zionism because it is a re-
invention of anti-Semitism.
In a series of tweets Asaf
Ronel, the world news editor of
an Israeli newspaper, Haaretz,
said something very different. Jason
He declared that he is an anti- Shames
Zionist, and that Israel has
been an apartheid state since its
creation.
Now, Mr. Ronel is trying to dis-
tance himself and his personal
views from those of the newspa-
per, because of the position he
holds there. But he cant.
Amos Schocken, the pub-
lisher of Haaretz has expressed
similar sentiments for years.
Thats why theres no way Daniel M.
that either Mr. Ronel or Mr. Shlufman
Schocken from the platform
of their personal bully pulpit,
Haaretz can say that using the term anti- respected news source but it really is an
Zionist doesnt undermine the integrity of advocate for acts that harm the state of
Israel and its standing in rest of the Western Israel. You could make the case that state-
world. Thats because by using the words
anti-Zionist and apartheid state, Mr. Israel that they meet the Israeli definition of
Ronel is echoing the words used by the Boy-
cott, Divestment and Sanctions movement,
which accuses Israel of being a colonial and
apartheid state.
Mr. Ronel, the editor of a mainstream,
globally recognized Israeli newspaper, cant
claim to feel loyalty and love for the State
of Israel when he says he is an anti-Zionist.
Somehow, though, he thinks hes not pur-
posely misleading. If he believes that, he is
either totally disingenuous or a fool.
Before 1948, the primary goals of Zionism
were to re-establish Jewish sovereignty in
the land of Israel, to create a homeland for
the Jewish people who were exiled after the
Holocaust, and to be a sanctuary where Jew-
ish people could escapethe anti-Semitism
and persecution they experienced during
their diaspora. Since 1948 and the establish-
mint of theState of Israel, Zionism has con-
tinued to stand as a proxy for a Jewish state
of Israel and to address threats to Israels
continued existence and security.
Mr. Ronel and others are attempting to
redefine Zionism as a way to justify their
opposition to current Israeli governmen-
tal policies and practices. However, they
have been unable to motivate Israeli vot-
ers to reject the current leadership. As an
alternative strategy, they have begun a pro-
paganda campaign to discredit the very
country where they live, and whose very
openness protects their type of yellow jour-
nalism. This manipulation of what Zionism
represents only serves to strengthen what
Opinion
anti-Zionism means the
destruction or loss of a Jewish
state in the land of Israel.
We want to give Mr. Ronel,
Mr. Schocken, and their com-
panions the benefit of the
doubt. Perhaps at Haaretz they
believe the positions they take
further the values and long-
term sustainability of the Jew-
ish state. Unfortunately, they
fail to take into account the
powerful media war that BDS
has been raging and often
winning. During those bat-
tles, BDS forces have bastard-
ized the word Zionist, put it
together with apartheid, and
made them synonymous. As a
result, the statements that Mr.
Ronel and Mr. Schocken have
made undercut Israels viabil-
ity and security.
In Europe, which already is
a bastion of pro-BDS efforts,
Haaretz is considered a well-
ments like Mr. Ronels are so damaging to
treason, in that they act to impair Israels
integrity and sovereignty.
Haaretz claims that it is read by a large
portion of progressive Israelis. The truth
is only an estimated 3 to 6 percent of the
You could make
the case that
statements like
Mr. Ronels are so
damaging to Israel
that they meet the
Israeli definition
of treason.
Israeli population reads Haaretz. Perhaps
thats because most Israelis know what Zion-
ism truly is, despite the way in which Mr.
Ronel has characterized it for his own politi-
cal purposes. Thats a violation of journalis-
tic ethics.
Even worse, we think Haaretz has become
a tool for the BDS movement.
Shame on Asaf Ronel and Amos Schocken.
Jason Shames is the CEO and Daniel M.
Shlufman is the treasurer of the Jewish
Federation of Northern New Jersey.
Jewish Standard JULY 28, 2017 25
Opinion
The fable of George Soros in a Hungarian context
G
e orge Soros, the
Hungarian-Ameri-
can billionaire, has
all the makings of a
character in a chasidic fable.
Here is a man distrusted by
many of his fellow Jews, and
despised by quite a few of them.
A man who sees no moral con-
tradiction in funding the forces
for an open society in East-
ern Europe, while at the same
time giving to left-wing lobby
groups advocating for a dimin-
ished relationship between the
United States and Israel, the
single sovereign open society
in the Middle East. A man who
values only the universal in
Judaism and cares little for the
particular.
Soros himself said in a gushing
2003 profile in the Forward that
universalism is the major rea-
son why Jews have made such
great contributions. I consider
that to be the Jewish genius.
Yet here is a man who has
been, and remains, the target of
a vicious strain of anti-Semitism
in his native Hungary.
The dilemma that this presents
goes something like this. One the
one hand, there shouldnt even
be a dilemma in the first place; george Soros
as a matter of principle, Soros
should be defended from anti-Semitism,
particularly when for many Hungarians
the name Soros has become a synonym
for global Jewish financier. Hungarys
Jewish community, among others, is
firmly in this camp.
On the other hand, there are those
who do not believe that Soros is worth
more than a perfunctory protest, that
Israels bilateral relationship with Hun-
gary is what matters, and that much of
what is being presented as anti-Sem-
itism doesnt really fit the description. Israeli Prime
Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who just visited his coun-
terpart Viktor Orban in Budapest, falls into this camp.
So do, I suspect, many American Jews on the political
right, who regard violent Islamism as a far more con-
suming threat than the backward-looking, identitarian
For many Hungarians
the name Soros has
become a synonym
for global Jewish
nancier. Hungarys
Jewish community,
among others, is
firmly in this camp.
26 Jewish standard JULY 28, 2017
exhortation not to let him
have the last laugh, wasnt
enough of an offense to pre-
vent cooperation with Hun-
gary on those matters upon
which he and Orban are in
agreement like closing
Europe to further streams
of mainly Muslim refugees
from the blood-drenched
conflicts in the nearby Mid-
dle East.
I do not believe the Soros
issue was worth the price
of a major disagreement
between Israel and Hun-
gary. But Im also aware
that there is a tendency in
pro-Israel circles to some-
times think in binary oppo-
sites: If Orban isnt among
the European enemies of
Israel, then he must be a
friend of the Jews.
The reality is that Orban
isnt much of a friend. When
the United States launched
airstrikes against Assad
regime targets in Syria, the
pro-Orban (and therefore
pro-Russian) press in Hun-
gary moaned about its dis-
appointment with President
Donald Trump. One pro-
HARALD DETTENBORN VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS Orban commentator opined
nationalism that has spread
through much of Europe.
To my mind, this doesnt
have to be a zero sum game. The reality is that Orban isnt
To begin with, there is no
reason to be soft on Orban.
much of a friend. When the
While he is careful not to United States launched
sound anti-Semitic himself,
he keeps around him many
airstrikes against Assad regime
Ben Cohen influencers who are anti- targets in Syria, the pro-Orban
Semitic, like the journalist
Zsolt Bayer. Orban seems
(and therefore pro-Russian)
positively to revel in the nationalist press in Hungary moaned
militarism of Hungarys recent past.
For him, the wartime dictator Miklos
about its disappointment with
Horthy was a figure of noble tragedy, President Donald Trump.
upon whom anti-Semitic policies were
imposed from the outside. that Assads use of chemical weapons was a fiction like
Such rewriting of history is unremarkable in the Iraqs weapons of mass destruction, which was hardly
nationalist environs of Eastern Europe the Poles, the the Israeli conclusion. As Israel faces up to the growing
Lithuanians, and the Serbs, among others, all do the threat posed by Iran on its own borders, who would put
same thing. It is why we should be suspicious of what
Orban says. But it also explains why despite Hunga-
Orban in the frontline of Israels European defenders?
As for Soros, the next time something like this hap-
rys emergence as an independent state free of Soviet pens, I would ask his detractors among whom I count
domination Orban feels a greater sense of fraternity
with brutish dictators, such as Recep Tayyip Erdogan in
myself if Soros is being targeted as a man or as a sym-
bol. Even if there is a trace of the former, its the over-
Turkey and Vladimir Putin in Russia, than he does with whelming presence of the latter that should keep us
Germanys Angela Merkel or Frances unfashionably cos-
mopolitan Emmanuel Macron.
healthily skeptical. JNS.ORG
Nevertheless, a realist might say that while the rewrit- Ben Cohen writes a weekly column on Jewish affairs and
ing of history spits upon the dead, it doesnt kill the
living. Netanyahu clearly calculated that a billboard
Middle Eastern politics. His work has been published in
Commentary, the New York Post, Haaretz, the Wall Street
showing the grinning visage of Soros, alongside the Journal, and many other publications.
 Extend an Invitation
to Jewish Standard families
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JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017 27

The Frazzled Housewife
Old is the new new
O
ld age seemed years and years
away when I was young.
Yes, I know that I am stat-
ing the obvious, but please
bear with me. My maternal grandmother,
whom I affectionately called mama,
would stay at our house quite often, and
she would always stay in my room. I would
set up the little tray table and on it would ing on their new hips, testing out their
go one glass of flat, bottled
water, one glass of seltzer
water, and a box of tissues.
Because she had glaucoma, I
was in charge of putting in her
eye drops (which is why we
needed the box of tissues), and
every night, before we went to
bed, we shared an apple. We
also listened to the fine radio
programming of WWORis Banji
that even still on? Ganchrow
I am pretty sure that most of
the folks we listened to have
gone to the big radio studio in the sky, but est potential). You wear stylish workout
I sure did learn a lot about gardening and
how to get along with your landlord from
those radio shows. I even have a tape (yes,
an actual tape) that I made of an interview
I did with my mama. Keep in mind that
Howard Stern was on 66 WNBC radio dur-
ing this time, but we never listened to him. cal self involved, just spinning of the
I just pretended to be a DJ on his show
(which was nothing like it is now).
In any event, my maternal grandparents
both died relatively young, so I didnt get
to experience what grandchildren witness
these days grandparents who are sick or
are not aging well. Is that a good thing or a five minutes. Wanna see?
bad thing? I am not really sure. I am sure
that my mom wishes her parents lived
longer, but it breaks my heart to watch my
kids watch my parents change from active
grandparents who would come visit every
Friday with chocolate and take them to
shows, to grandparents whom they now
have to go visit in their home in order to
see them.
Yes, I know I am lucky that I still have
them, until 120. There was a whole genera-
tion of kids who didnt even have grand-
parents at all, there are kids who lost their be without any editing mechanismat all.
grandparents when they were too young
to appreciate them, but like everything
in life, everything is relative. As I always
say, No one has everything, but everyone
has something
Wait, this weeks column was supposed
More than 411,000 likes.
Like us on
Facebook
facebook.com/jewishstandard
28 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017
to be funny. Sorry. Here we go. The other
day I was visiting my adorable cousin in
the city and we went to see my aunt, who
is her grandmother. We were having a very
animated discussion about physical ther-
apy. My aunt was telling us that everyone
who is anyone goes to physical therapy.
It is quite the social scene. People work-
new knees; the folks who
are recovering from strokes
and other neurological ail-
mentsAnd then, my ador-
able young cousin said, It
sounds like physical ther-
apy is the new SoulCycle!
Holy cow. She is right!
When you are young,
you go to the gym to social-
ize, exercise to your full-
est potential (unless you
are like me and you never
do anything to your full-
gear. SoulCycle, for those of you who are
unaware of what it is, is a place where you
go to spin. Spinning, for those unaware,
is what you do on a stationary bike. You
bike quickly, slowly, stand up, sit down.
There is no actual spinning of your physi-
wheel. You also are able to purchase Soul-
Cycle apparel.
Wouldnt it be awesome if there was
apparel for physical therapy? I had two
knee replacements and all I got was this
lousy T-shirt. I can stand unassisted for
Physical therapy is the new gym, for
those older folks who are no longer up for
the gym. They may fall in love with their
trainers, they may ignore someone who
they are no longer friends withbecause
even though we get older, we still are peo-
ple. That never changes. We just do things
a little slower, we walk a little more care-
fully so we dont fall, but who we are, fun-
damentally, never changes. Actually, and
unfortunately, we just get worse.
Which means that in a few years I will
Wonder if there is a physical therapy
exercise for that!
Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck is a big fan of
spinning. She also is a big fan of eating. She
has yet to do both at the same time
Crossword
EUROPEAN UNION BY YONI GLATT
KOSHERCROSSWORDS@GMAIL.COM
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: CHALLENGING
Across
1. Source of some laws
7. Hams sibling
11. Sixth sense of a prophet, perhaps:
Abbr.
14. Grande follower of Kabbalah
15. Ancient capital of Edom
16. Team of G-ds servants?, on the
scoreboard
17. Some Middle-East folk in France?
19. Alt. to 62-Down
20. Gov. loan Bank Leumi might help
secure
21. Frozen wasser
22. Some flowers in Israel and Mexico
24. Part of Amy Winehouses psycho-
logical diagnosis
26. Elvis Army classification
27. Kind of prayer garb in Germany?
33. With 58-Down, people fear its gaze
34. Makes dough (but not for challah)
35. High Priest with disappointing sons
36. IDF program in Latvia?
39. Mosby played by Josh Radnor
42. Israeli daughters (Var.)
43. Bibi married her in 1991
44. Breslov founder in Croatia?
50. Medicine Nobelist Metchnikov
51. Field directed by Steven in 2012
52. Temple singers, once
56. Language in a country with barely
a Jew
57. 1997 Halle Berry title role thats a
takeoff on a pejorative Jewish ste-
reotype
60. Many Jews toss one Saturday after-
noon
61. Tisha BAv and Yom Kippur in
Northern Ireland?
64. ___ maamin
65. Where one might improvise and also
read Emma Lazarus
66. Wear for IDF officers, at times
67. Fourth day orb
68. Sony handhelds that have kits avail-
able in blue and white
69. Like this clue
The solution to last weeks puzzle
is on page 35.
Down
1. Dances like Hines or Davis Jr.
2. League not welcome to Israel
3. Coins that can no longer be converted
to shekels
4. Month after Passover (usually), in
Montreal
5. Defeat in the Knesset
6. Like members of Shayetet 13
7. Kiryat Bialik to Afula dir.
8. Like the West Bank by Jordan in 1947
9. James East of Eden director
10. 1970 Elliott Gould hit
11. Iconic sitcom role for Julia
12. Archangel in Jewish lore
13. Beetle cousin found on Israeli roads
18. Continent where 56-Across is spoken
23. Doesnt throw like Koufax
24. N.Y.C. rail org. or HS
25. Makes like G-d, way back in the day
27. Eve was the first to be called this
28. Dew bracha
29. ___ LTzedek
30. (A) bisl
31. West ender?
32. It runs in the family: Abbr.
36. The Facts of Life actress
37. Mendelssohns Piano Quarter No. 3
___ Minor
38. Bluth played by Will Arnett
39. A cracker, when doubled
40. Jewish history had one of Judges
41. Jacobs son who only had one son
42. Matzah meal?
43. Like one hesitant to make a Bat
Mitzvah speech
44. Fitzgerald and Rubinstein
45. Minyan ender, often
46. What Israelis refused to do in 1948
47. Queen of Brodericks Simba
48. U.S. state with a museum showcas-
ing Operation Magic Carpet
49. Schmattas
53. Meas. for Jamie Geller
54. Non-kosher Eilat residents
55. Kind of shot from the Wilds Jason
Zucker
57. Neighborhood north of Talpiyot
58. See 33-Across
59. Hey, chabibi!
62. Bands where Howard Stern could
first be heard: Abbr.
63. Cubans team, on an ESPN ticker
 Arts & Culture
Soon By You
A web series looks at young single modern Orthodox life
DENA CROOG

Soon By You started out as a 15-minute

short film about the modern Orthodox
dating scene on the Upper West Side of
Manhattan. But after winning Best Short
Film at the Washington Jewish Film Fes-
tival in 2016, its creator, Leah Gottfried,
26, set her sights on something even more
far-reaching.
Sitting in that audience and seeing peo-
ples reactions firsthand showed me for
the first time that there was such a strong
desire for more of this kind of content,
Ms. Gottfried said. Audience members
came up to me after the screening and
asked me what happens next. So I sort
of followed the audiences lead there and
expanded it into a series.
Gottfried grew up in Brooklyn, moved
to Los Angeles when she was 14 to act, and
now is back, living in Passaic, feeling ful-
filled with her handiwork. While her child-
hood aspiration was only to act, in her late
teens she recognized that she could use
more of her creativity continuing to act but
branching out into writing, directing, and
producing. She since has founded Dignity
Entertainment, a full-service production
company. And what started as a short film
has evolved into a web series now four epi- From left, Noam Harary, Danny Hoffman, and Leah Gottfried on the set of Soon By You. LEORA VEIT

sodes long and counting.

The Show
Publicity for Soon By You happened
organically in its early stages via press
and word of mouth, and more recently
with the added components of in-person
screening and events as well as increased
social media. The initial short film was
completely self-funded. Going forward,
funds were and are being raised through
sponsorships, product placements, and
crowdfunding. The series has received
considerable media coverage throughout,
most recently in the New York Post and
New Jersey Jewish News.
Soon By You has been described as a
New York City version of the Israeli show
Srugim, or, as a recent New York Post
article dubbed it, the kosher version of
Friends. The show is both earnest and
funny, as six modern Orthodox twenty- Leah Gottfried created Soon By You. The cast of Soon By You: From left, Jessica Schechter, Leah Gottfried, Noam
somethings navigate dating, working, Harary, Danny Hoffman, Nathan Shapiro, and Sara Scur ABBIE SOPHIE

and staying true to themselves and to
their values.
The Cast
Upon request, the six members of the
cast not all of whom are Orthodox
Jews offered descriptions of their own
characters:
Ms. Gottfried, who in addition to creat-
ing, directing, writing, and producing the Danny Hoffman, also a writer and pro- trying to find her way through life but also
show, also plays Sarah J., paints her char- ducer for the show, plays David, a rabbini- stick to what she believes.
acter as a fierce and bold young woman cal student who isnt defined by his pro- Nathan Shapiro calls his character, Ben,
on the hunt for a man. On the surface she fessional aspirations. Hes funny, insecure, an arrogant law student trying to con-
seems materialistic and oblivious, but she a bit of a mess a very relatable guy. vince himself and everyone else that he
has a good heart. I like to think of her as Sara Scurs character, Sarah F., is a free- has it together.
Cher from Clueless meets Stern student. spirited and independent woman who is SEE SOON PAGE 32

JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017 29

Calendar
Saturday
JULY 29
Rabbi Sam Frankel
Shabbat in Teaneck:
Rabbi Sam Frankel,
middle school rabbi
at Yavneh Academy
and an individual
and family therapist,
presents Mindfulness
and Judaism: How Our
Mesorah Embraces
Mindfulness after
Mincha at 7:50 p.m.
950 Queen Anne Road.
(201) 836-6210 or www.
bethaaron.org.
Sunday
JULY 30
Kathy Leichter
Film in Teaneck:
Congregation Beth
Aaron offers a screening
of Here One Day, 7 p.m. Congregation Beth Aaron
Rabbi Larry Rothwachs
introduces the award-
winning film about
mental illness, suicide,
and family; a Q&A
session led by its director,
Kathy Leichter, follows.
950 Queen Anne Road.
(201) 836-6210 or www.
bethaaron.org.
Monday
JULY 31
Medication safety in
Wayne: The Chabad
Center of Passaic County
continues its Smile on
Seniors program at
the center with lunch
and a discussion by
30 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017
Dr. Francis McCabe, Abraham in Bergenfield,
senior pharmacist at
St. Josephs Regional
11:45 a.m. Presentation
on Mindfulness by
Medical Center, on Rabbi Sam Frankel
Medication Safety follows. 396 New Bridge
and Management, Road. Michael Karlin,
11:30 a.m. 194 Ratzer (201) 741-7774 or email at
Road. (973) 694-6274 or mkarlin@aol.com.
Chanig@optonline.net.
Tisha BAv for women:
Teaneck Womens
Tefillah, a community-
wide group of women
who gather several
times during the year,
has its annual reading
of Megillat Eicha at a
Katherine Alexandra
private home, 10 p.m.
Location information, and Brian Gurl
email teaneck.womens. COURTESY YMCA
tefillah@gmail.com.
Music in Wayne: Brian AUG. The Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in Tenafly
holds its 17th annual Play Fore! the Kids
7
Gurl and Katherine
Wednesday Alexandra perform Golf and Games event at the Montammy
AUGUST 2 Moscow Meets
Golf Club in Alpine on Monday, August 7.
Manhattan at the
Remembering summer concert series The JCC is taking reservations for foursomes, games
Theodore Roosevelt: at the Wayne YMCA, (tennis, mah jongg, bridge, or canasta), and for the
The Passaic County 7 p.m. Powerful piano
Historical Society renditions, soaring vocals, cocktail dinner reception (dietary laws observed), from
welcomes Peyton Dixon and dazzling, fun-filled 5-9 p.m. There will be online and live auctions featuring
of American Historical dueling piano pieces
highlight this one of-a-
tickets for sporting events, exciting getaways, and
Theatre as he plays
Theodore Roosevelt in kind production. Series more. Proceeds raise funds to support a wide range
American in the Arena runs through August 24. of social, cultural, and
at Lambert Castle The Metro YMCAs of the recreational programming
in Paterson, 7 p.m. Oranges is a partner of
Funded by the Horizons the YM-YWHA of North for children with special
Speakers Bureau of the Jersey. 1 Pike Drive. needs. Sponsorship
New Jersey Council for (973) 595-0100 or opportunities are
the Humanities, a state www.wayneymca.org.
partner of the National available. Go to
Endowment for the Saturday www.jccotp.org/
Humanities. 3 Valley playforethekids or call
Road. (973) 247-0085 or AUGUST 5
lambertcastle.org. Michal Kleiman at (201)
408-1412 or mkleiman@
Perfecting perfection:
jccotp.org.
in Teaneck concludes
a five-week series,
Perfecting Perfection: Of
Shul meet and greet in
Circumcision, Earrings, Sunday Leonia: Congregation Singles
and Plastic Surgery, led
by Yossie Cohen. This
AUGUST 6 Adas Emuno offers
week, Ethics of Risky
Charity walk in Verona:
a meet and greet for
prospective members.
Sunday
Procedures, 8:45 p.m. AUGUST 13
Hadassah Northern with wine and cheese
950 Queen Anne Road.
NJ holds Every Step and kid-friendly snacks,
(201) 836-6210 or go to
www.bethaaron.org. Counts, its second in its garden, 4-6 p.m. Seniors meet in West
annual Heart Health Rabbi Barry Schwartz, Nyack: Singles 65+
Film in Jersey City: Bnai Awareness walkathon, Cantor Sandy Horowitz, meets for a social
Thursday Jacob screens Brooklyn
with Saoirse Ronan,
at Verona Park. and congregants will be get together at the
AUGUST 3 Registration, 8 a.m.; walk there. 254 Broad Ave. JCC Rockland, 11 a.m.
6:30 p.m. Popcorn and at 8:30. 475 Bloomfield (201) 592-1712 or www. Refreshments. All are
drinks. 176 West Side Ave. (973) 530-3996 adasemuno.org. welcome, particularly if
New retiree group: Ave. (201) 435-5725 or or www.hadassah.org/ you are from Hudson,
The Teaneck Orthodox www.bnaijacobjc.com. events/2017nnjwalk. Passaic, Bergen, or
Retiree Association
Rockland counties. 450
(TORA) has its first
West Nyack Road. Gene
lunch and lecture at
Arkin, (845) 356-5525.
Congregation Beth

Participants in a recent Lunch & Learn at Bnai Jacob.
Have lunch and learn in Jersey City
Rabbi Aaron Katz leads a discussion over lunch on current topics at Congregation Bnai
Jacob in Jersey City on Monday August 7 and again on Monday August 21. The shul, which
has ample parking, is at 176 West Side Ave. For information, call (201) 435-5725 or go to
www.bnaijacobjc.com.
Join Team Sharsheret in September
Sharsheret, the national not-for-profit
organization that supports young Jewish
women facing breast cancer or other can-
cers, is participating in the Komen Race for
the Cure walk on Sunday, Septemeber 10,
from 8:30 to 10:30 a.m. Meet at the north-
east corner of 74th Street and Central Park
Donny and
Marie coming
to Englewood
Americas beloved sibling entertainers,
Donny and Marie Osmond, will bring their
summer tour to the Bergen Performing Arts
Center in Englewood on Wednesday, August
16, at 8 p.m. Their fan favorites include A
Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock n Roll,
Paper Roses, Puppy Love, and It Takes Two.
Tickets are available at www.ticketmaster.com or by calling bergenPACs box office at
(201) 227-1030.
Paramus shul plans open house
The JCC of Paramus/Congregation Beth
Tikvah hosts an open house for pro-
spective families and their children. The
evening, which includes a barbecue,
Shabbat family services, and gym time,
is set for Friday, August 11, beginning at
6:30 p.m.
COURTESY CBJ
West in Manhattan.
Sharsheret offers free registration for
the first 200 participants; registration
usually costs $45 per person. For more
information, call (866) 474-2774 or email
Sarah Eagle, Sharsherets team captain, at
seagle@sharsheret.org.
The synagogue is at East 304 Mid-
land Ave., in Paramus. The evening is
free, but reservations are required. For
information, call (201) 983-9430, email
hblesq@yahoo.com, or go to www.jcc-
paramus.org.
BRIEFS
Mother of terrorist killer of three
arrested on incitement charges
Israeli soldiers arrested the mother of
Palestinian terrorist Omar al-Abed Tues-
day on charges of aggravated incite-
ment, following her sons fatal stabbing
of an Israeli father and two of his adult
children last Friday night in a West Bank
community, Halamish.
After the gruesome attack in the home
of the Salomon family, the terrorists
mother, Ibtisam al-Abed, said in a video
that was widely circulated on social
media that she was proud of her son.
Further, the Abed family celebrated the
Anti-Israel activists prevented
from boarding Tel Aviv-bound flight
A group of five prominent anti-Israel BDS
movement activists were prevented Mon-
day from boarding a flight from Washing-
ton, D.C., to Israels Ben Gurion Airport.
The anti-Zionist organization Jew-
ish Voice for Peace had coordinated the
interfaith delegation to Israel. When
the group attempted to check in for a Luf-
thansa flight to Tel Aviv at Dulles Interna-
tional Airport, they were informed the
Israeli government had ordered they not
be allowed to board.
The activists prohibited from boarding
included JVP members Rabbi Alissa Wise,
Alana Krivo-Kaufman and Noah Habeeb,
Israel removes Temple Mount detectors
in favor of advanced technologies
Israel decided to remove the metal detec-
tors at the Temple Mount, which had been
installed following the recent terror attack
that killed two Israeli police officers near
the holy site, in favor of security measures
based on advanced technologies.
After Palestinian-incited riots and ter-
ror attacks that came in response to Isra-
els Temple Mount security measures,
the Israeli security cabinet announced it
accepted a recommendation by security
agencies to incorporate smart checks and
other security measures instead of metal
detectors in order to ensure the security
of visitors and worshippers in the Old City
and on the Temple Mount.
Danon shows graphic photo at U.N.
from Halamish terror attack
Israeli Ambassador to the United Nations
Danny Danon presented a gruesome photo
from the crime scene of last Fridays Pal-
estinian terror attack in Halamish, where
three members of an Israeli family were
killed, at the U.N. Security Council Monday.
We do not need more carefully worded
statements asking for calm, Danon said
at a press conference ahead of a sched-
uled Security Council session on tension
surrounding the Temple Mount. The
council must demand real action by [Pal-
estinian Authority President] Mahmoud
Calendar
terror attack by handing out sweets to
guests at their home in Kaubar.
The IDF said the terrorists mother
incited more attacks on Jews.
The Halamish terror attack came on
the heels of a Palestinian-incited day
of rage, amid tension over Israels now-
removed metal detectors at Jerusalems
Temple Mount. The Jewish state had bol-
stered security following the July 14 Arab
terror attack that killed two Israeli Druze
policemen near the holy site. 
 JNS.ORG
as well as Rick Ufford Chase of the Presby-
terian Peace Fellowship and Shakeel Syed,
a national board member with American
Muslims for Palestine.
We were told at check-in that the air-
line has a letter from the Israeli govern-
ment saying we are not allowed to fly to
Israel. I wasnt even able to get as far as
checking my bag, said Wise, according to
a JVP statement. She added, Im heart-
broken and outraged.
Israels move falls in line with the Knes-
set legislatures recent approval of a bill
forbidding BDS activists from entering the
Jewish state. JNS.ORG
Until the implementation of the plan,
the Israel Police will reinforce its units
and carry out additional actions as nec-
essary in order to ensure the security
of visitors on the Mount, the security
cabinet said in a statement, adding that
Israel has allocated a budget of up to $28
million to implement the plan during a
timeframe of up to six months.
The violence that followed Israels instal-
lation of the metal detectors included a Pal-
estinian terrorists fatal stabbing of three
members of an Israeli family Yosef, Chaya
and Elad Salomon in the West Bank com-
munity of Halamish last Friday night.
 JNS.ORG
Abbas, make him stop his tacit support
for terror, force him to end this unbear-
able wave of violence and make him do
so immediately before the lives of more
innocent victims are lost.
As diplomats, as ambassadors, as lead-
ers, it is not often that we are at a loss for
words, he added. When I learned of the
horrific terror attack this past Friday eve-
ning, when I saw the ghastly pictures of the
Shabbat meal interrupted by a vile terror-
ist, I was left speechless.
 JNS.ORG
JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017 31
Arts & Culture/Local
Soon
FROM PAGE 29
Noam Harary plays Z, whom he
describes as the honest idiot savant friend
who cares about loyalty in friendship with
the same vigor as he quietly masters being
a jack of all trades.
Jessica Schechter, a producer for the
show who also plays Noa, dubs her char-
acter a fiery and passionate feminist who
speaks her mind.
The cast was also asked what topics they
would like to see addressed in future epi-
sodes. Among those topics were FOMO
(Fear Of Missing Out); the dynamics of dif-
ferent sensitivities within religious obser-
vance; finding balance between personal,
professional, and religious life; having cri-
sis of faith; LGBTQ in the Jewish commu-
nity; navigating through life when youve
chosen an artistic career; and the diversity
of background in the Jewish community.
While viewers are entertained by the
intertwining storylines as well as the by
characters themselves, its sometimes easy
to forget that the actors, too, have their
own ideas about the challenges that face
millennials who have reached their young
adult years.
Dating
According to some of the cast, the dating
world has changed due to the advance-
ment of social media. That is not always
a good thing.
Ms. Scur, who said that she feels chal-
lenged with not letting her own insecuri-
ties get in the way of intimacy, emphasized
how dating has almost become a sport.
There are so many platforms for dating
now than there were in the past, and its so
accessible, she said. In the past, dating
required a little more guts. You couldnt
just send a text and ask someone out or tell
them how you felt. You had to look some-
one in the eye.
Mr. Shapiro explained how our world
of immediacy can have a negative impact
on relationships. When people become
results oriented, rather than process ori-
ented, I think losing sight of the little things,
smaller gestures, can be devastating to
deeper, more personal human connec-
tions, he said. Having everything at ones
fingertips never felt so isolating and lonely.
Mr. Harary summed up the challenge
with two words that relate to todays dat-
ing world: skepticism and opportunity.
The internet makes everyone a possibility
and few an excitable challenge, he said. I
think we need to invest in the small sparks
for a longer flame.
Social media and technology can be a
double-edged sword, but another chal-
lenge to dating, according to Ms. Schech-
ter, is pressure and lack of empathy. She
stressed the importance of being true to
yourself and listening to your gut. I think
there is a bombardment of opinions and
ideas which makes it hard to tune in to
what we really need, she said. We are
32 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017
people looking to connect, and that isnt
always easy. I think there needs to be more
understanding and validation.
Both Ms. Gottfried and Mr. Hoffman
honed in on the immense pressure in the
Orthodox world to get married and settle
down at a young age, calling it unhelp-
ful in the dating process. Ms. Gottfried
referred to it as a ticking clock. Mr.
Hoffman said that someone who wants
to get married now already has been put-
ting enough pressure on him or herself.
And pressuring someone who doesnt
want to get married yet disregards that
persons priorities.
Ms. Gottfried also said that people who
are Orthodox tend to be challenged with
finding someone not only with whom to
connect, but who also shares the same val-
ues and level of observance.
There are so many things that need to
line up in order to build a life with some-
one, Ms. Gottfried said. I think many
people are faced with the question of how
much all of that matters, or what is more
important connection or values. At the
end of the day I think they are both vital,
but it can be tricky if you only have one or
the other.
Adulthood
Of course, people in their twenties and
early thirties face many challenges out-
side of dating, which mostly boil down to
adjusting to adult life.
For one, theres starting and managing
your career. Mr. Shapiro said that although
there is value to the naive and romantic
sentiment that hard work will yield the
desired results, it is unrealistic in New
York City, which is developing into a play-
ground for the wealthy. Its a challenge to
balance gratitude for being able to do the
work that he loves with the practicality of
having to figure out how to pay his rent.
Mr. Harary noted that when you are in this
stage of life, the gig economy can be chal-
lenging, and there tends to be lack of focus
on mastery in a field. Ms. Gottfried said
she often compares herself to people who
are incredibly successful. While enjoying
and appreciating where she is profession-
ally, she sets goals and reminds herself that
a career takes time to develop. She noted
that millennials tend to be ambitious and
at times too hard on themselves.
There is often expectation and pressure
in the years after college to know exactly
what you want to do with the rest of your
life. Mr. Hoffman said that from what he
has seen in the Orthodox community,
there is pressure to opt for security, even
if it means turning away from what could
be an otherwise fulfilling life. Ms. Schech-
ter stressed the importance of finding your
identity and being confident in it, as well
as being proud of your accomplishments.
According to Ms. Scur, being an adult
is a challenge in its own right.
I often feel I am stuck in this limbo
between being a child and an adult, she
said. I have to pay bills, eat three meals
a day, and exercise? I realize how much of
a millennial this makes me sound like but
its true. Im constantly asking myself Am
I doing right? Am I an adult?
Causes
Reflecting inward about the dating and
adult worlds is commonplace among
twentysomethings certainly including
these actors and the characters they play
but the cast also talked about the causes
and topics most important to them.
For Ms. Scur it is a womsns right to
knowledge and education. Ms. Gottfried
also cares deeply about womens rights,
and particularly how we deal with rape
and violence against women. She also
talked about the importance of monitor-
ing the safety of the food we eat. Many
civil and equal rights topics concern Mr.
Harary, including Syrian apathy, the plight
of minorities, police brutality, suppres-
sion of women, and homophobia. Ms.
Schechter is focused on education reform
and greater mental health awareness
and education. Mr. Shapiro is concerned
about the drug crisis ravaging the United
States, and the common misconception
that substance abuse is a character flaw
rather than a health condition related to
genetics, chemistry, and circumstance. Mr.
Fire
FROM PAGE 7
who became her friends. The conver-
sion process is so painful and difficult,
she said. My heart just breaks when I
see them suffering so much for some-
thing so altruistic.
In contrast to growing up, when she
felt not Orthodox enough, she was now
an Orthodox leader. She was warmly
received and respected by non-Jews as
well as her congregants
We were known as the religious peo-
ple, she said. The police would know
us, the mayors, we were respected mem-
bers of the community.
Her vision of the world started broad-
ening. Theres a whole world out there
of people who are spiritual, and they
dont insist on walking on Shabbat, she
said. I remember being indoctrinated
growing up that goyim are bad, and we
have to stay away from them. The first
time I ever saw Gods love for me dur-
ing prayer was when a non-Jewish friend
prayed for me to feel it.
One time a congregant who was a con-
vert and had been raised a Christian told
her, Let Gods love flow through you.
The possibility of seeing God in this
way was fascinating.
She began to explore a more pri-
vate, a more personal Judaism. When
she moved to Rutherford in 2008, she
stepped back from the rebbetzin role
Hoffman finds social media important, as
it provides more openness in the world,
often leading to greater understanding
and acceptance. Still, a recurring theme
from many cast members was the need to
live in the moment and not be absorbed by
social media.
Advice
Finally, the cast was asked what advice
they would give to their child selves. Mr.
Shapiro said that if people try to beat you
down, know that you will find a commu-
nity that cares about you, so go easy on
yourself. Life gets better, he said. Ms.
Schechter stressed that everything that
happens in life works to build who you
are, moment by moment, and its impor-
tant to keep positive and do the best you
can. Mr. Harary said that Family will be
everything. Mr. Hoffman advised to do
more and be your biggest advocate. Ms.
Scur said trust yourself more and find your
own ideas and opinions.
And then, of course, theres Ms. Gott-
fried, who followed a childhood dream
and is still looking forward. She said:
Dont resist change. Instead, embrace it
and be open to new possibilities.
For more information about Soon By
You go to soonbyyou.tv
she had embraced in other towns. I
needed to discover who I am, she said,
other than as an extension of someone
elses identity and career. She stopped
teaching at the synagogue. She got a job
at Trader Joes and within a year, she
became a manager.
And then came the night of fire.
We got cards and letters from Conser-
vative and Reform synagogues, and hun-
dreds of letters from churches around
the country, from their Sunday schools,
Ms. Schuman said. We got support from
different pastors in town.
The leaders of the Jewish community
in Passaic to which she had felt that
she belonged were less comforting,
she said. There was one rabbi from Pas-
saic who called us. I dont remember any
of them visiting us. There was no one at
the trial or the sentencing.
After the fire, the family recovered
in different ways, leading them toward
different paths and ending the mar-
riage. She earned a degree at the Insti-
tute for Therapeutic Massage. Five years
later, together with her husband, David
Strait, Pessy and her children now live in
Teaneck and are members of Congrega-
tion Netivot Shalom.
Davids insights and gentle approach
to Torah have brought me comfort, she
said.
But most importantly: I feel God is
inside me.

Marvin Albin
Marvin Stanley Albin,
92, of Belmont, Mass.,
formerly of Paramus, died
July 17.
He worked in the fam-
A U.S. Navy World War
II veteran, he was a retired
owner of a printing com-
pany in the Bronx.
He is survived by his
wife Elayne, ne Spiegel,
Obituaries
great-grandchildren. Rebecca; brother, Jay
Arrangements were by Andors; nephews, Jayson
Eden Memorial Chapels, and Nick Andors, and
Fort Lee. cousins, Barbara Capi-
gatti and Shelley Gins-
Beth Lesser berg and families.
Robert Schoems Menorah Chapel, Inc
Jewish Funeral Directors
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ily business, Cord Craft
Clothes, Inc., owned a
newspaper delivery service
in Paterson, and retired as
a franchisee of Porcelite
Enterprises.
Predeceased by his wife
of 58 years, Natalie, ne
Ashkenazy, in 2004, he is
survived by children, Peter
(Marge), and Fran Cronin,
all of Massachusetts, Ste-
ven ( Joan) of Ramsey, and
Robert (Teresa) of Georgia;
a sister, Florence Skurnick
(Arthur) of New York; nine
grandchildren; five great-
grandchildren, and nieces
and nephews.
Donations can be made
to the Leukemia and Lym-
phoma Society. Arrange-
ments were by Louis Sub-
urban Chapel, Fair Lawn.
Alfred Barcan
Alfred Judson Barcan, 85,
of Hillsdale, formerly of
Livingston and Jersey City,
died July 16.
He earned a masters
degree from NYUs Stern
School of Business, was a
senior financial manager
for Pfizer, and a member
of Lehighs Asa Packer
and Tower societies, and
Temple Emanuel of the
Pascack Valley. Lehigh
honored him for donating
the Deborah and Alfred
Judson Barcan Collection
of Rare Books.
He is survived by his
wife of 54 years, Deborah,
children, Kathy Higgins
(Mike) of River Vale, and
Daniel of Hillsdale; a
brother, Donald (Nan); two
grandchildren; nieces, and
a nephew.
Contributions can be
sent to Trustees of Colum-
bia University Medical
Center in New York City for
Dr. Mathew Mauers amy-
loidosis research. Arrange-
ments were by Gutterman
Musicant Funeral Direc-
tors, Hackensack.
Stanley Klein
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Stamford, Conn., Rhonda 66, of Fort Lee, died to the CRUDEM Founda-
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and Mitchell of New Born in Brooklyn, she by Eden Memorial Cha-
City, N.Y.; eight grand-
children, and seven
is survived by her hus-
band, Steven, daughter,
pels, Fort Lee.
The Christopher Family
serving the Jewish community
since 1900
Paterson Monument Co.
MAIN BRANCH
Paterson, NJ 07502 Pompton Plains, NJ 07444
The Moriah School mourns the passing of 317 Totowa Ave. 681 Rt. 23 S.
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People power
FrOM PaGe 13
Get results! Perhaps my takeaway from the day aside from the
unfortunate realization that you can gain back all the weight
Advertise on this page. you sweated out by noshing free snacks on the bus was
how much activism matters. Our own junior U.S. senator,
201-837-8818 Cory Booker, speaking at a rally we attended we corralled
him afterwards for selfies and hugs said it over and over
again. Democracy is not a spectator sport. We wouldnt be
where we are today were it not for the struggles of previous
generations. Now we have to pay it forward.
And Connecticuts Senator Richard Blumenthal, a Demo-
crat like Mr. Booker, speaking later at our rally, credited the
continued failure of efforts to gut health care to efforts such
as ours. Still, he stressed, the fight is not over and we have
to keep hammering home our message. Were here in the
heat to turn up the heat, he said.
Still, I hope it will be cooler next time.

Jewish standard July 28, 2017 35

Jewish World
American Jews vs. American Muslims:
How do the studies compare?
BEN SALES
Since it came out in 2013, the Pew study
a landmark survey of American Jewish
demographics, beliefs and practices has
been at the center of American Jewish
scrutiny and handwringing.
Now its American Muslims turn.
On Wednesday, the Pew Research Cen-
ter released a survey of American Muslims.
It focused not only on numbers and the
communitys way of life, but also on how it
has responded to the election of President
Donald Trump.
Comparing the two studies shows a
Muslim sector in America that is more reli-
gious, faster growing, and feeling more
embattled than American Jews. But both
groups voted for Hillary Clinton.
Heres how the Jews and Muslims of the
United States stack up.
There are more Jews than Muslims in
America, but the Muslim population is
growing faster.
Pew found that there are about 3.3 mil-
lion Muslims in the United States. Thats
a little more than 1 percent of the popu-
lation. American Jews, by contrast, stand
at 5.3 million, around 2 percent of all
Americans.
But Muslims, Pew found, skew younger
and have higher birth rates. More than a
third of U.S. Muslims are under 30, only 14
percent are over 55, and their birth rate is
2.4, slightly higher than the national aver-
age. Most American Jews are over 50 and
their birth rate is 1.9. While the median age
of U.S. Muslims is 35, the median age of
U.S. Jews is 50. Americans in general have
a median age of 47.
These numbers explain why a 2015 Pew
study found that by 2050, American Mus-
lims will outnumber American Jews. While
the Jewish population is expected to stag-
nate at about 5.4 million, Pew predicts
that in a little more than three decades,
there will be about 8 million Muslims in
America.
The respective studies also included
some data unique to each religion. While
there are sharp internal divides between
Shiite and Sunni Muslims, Pew did not
address the question of who is a Muslim
as it did with Jewish Americans.
The study reported demographic data
that may contradict popular American
stereotypes of Muslims. Only 14 percent
of Muslim immigrants are from the Middle
East, while one-fifth are from South Asia.
And the plurality of American Muslims
four in 10 are white.
Only 13 percent of American Muslims
are intermarried.
When Pew released its study of the Jews
in 2013, American Jewish leaders began
fretting about an intermarriage rate of
36 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017
Muslim men at a prayer service celebrating Eid-al-Fitr in Stamford, Conn., last month.
58 percent since 2000, and they havent
stopped. By that measure, American Mus-
lim leaders can rest easy.
Unlike the majority of American Jews,
only 13 percent of American Muslims
are intermarried. And the number has
declined in recent years: In 2011, the num-
ber was 16 percent. The numbers are so
low that the word intermarriage doesnt
even appear in the survey.
But another statistic shows that Ameri-
can Muslims may be following their Jew-
ish neighbors. Among Muslims born in
the United States, the intermarriage rate is
nearly 20 percent.
Most Jews say they dont face discrimi-
nation. Most Muslims say they do.
Another reason for the difference in
intermarriage rates could be the discrimi-
nation that Jews and Muslims each face
in America. Jews, who are more likely to
marry outside their group, are also more
accepted in America than Muslims. Most
Jews say they dont face discrimination.
Most Muslims say they do.
In an age when Trump the candidate
called for a ban on Muslim immigration,
the Muslim study focused heavily on Mus-
lim feelings of discrimination and belong-
ing in America. Questions were asked
about Islamophobia, anti-Muslim violence,
the president, terrorism, extremism and
how Muslims feel about being Muslim and
American.
In brief, the study found that nearly half
of Muslims have faced discrimination in
the past year, and 75 percent feel Muslims
face a great deal discrimination in Amer-
ica. But nine in 10 feel proud to be Ameri-
can. Three-quarters of American Muslims
say violence against civilians can never
be justified, as opposed to 59 percent of
Americans in general.
In 2013, most Jews said that Jews do not
face a lot of discrimination in America,
and only 15 percent personally faced dis-
crimination in the year before the survey.
But Pews Jewish study was published
three years before the spike in anti-Semitism
that accompanied the 2016 election. A poll attend synagogue less than once a month
by the Anti-Defamation League published
in April revealed starkly different numbers,
showing that most Americans were con-
cerned about violence against Jews.
Jews graduate from college at higher
rates than Muslims and earn more than
Muslims do.
The graduation rates and household
incomes of American Muslims track with
the rest of the country. Like Americans in
general, 31 percent of Muslim Americans
have graduated from college. And a quar-
ter of Muslim Americans earn more than
$100,000, similar to the national average.
But 40 percent of Muslim households earn
less than $30,000 eight points higher
than Americans in general.
Nearly six in 10 American Jews, mean-
while, have graduated from college. And
42 percent have household incomes
higher than $100,000, while only 20 per-
cent earn less than $30,000.
Muslims are far more religious than
Jews, but both say social justice is central.
American Jews and Muslims are particu-
larly different when it comes to religion.
While nearly two-thirds of American Mus-
lims say religion is very important to them,
only a quarter of Jews do. A third of Jews
believe in God, compared to 85 percent of
Muslims who said belief in God is essen-
tial to being a Muslim. Nearly six in 10
JOHN MOORE/GETTY IMAGES
American Muslims say following the Quran
is essential to being a Muslim, compared to
less than a quarter of American Jews who
say the same about Jewish law.
Four in 10 American Muslims attend
mosque at least once a week and eight in 10
observe the month-long fast of Ramadan.
By contrast, two-thirds of American Jews
and only about half fasted on Yom Kippur.
But there are some commonalities, too.
Nearly all American Jews and Muslims say
they are proud to be Jewish and Muslim,
respectively. And both groups prioritize
social justice. Solid majorities of Jews (60
percent) and Muslims (69 percent) see
working for justice and equality as an
essential part of their religious identity.
Jews are more liberal than Muslims,
but a higher percentage of them voted for
Trump.
American Muslims responded to
Trumps anti-Muslim rhetoric on the cam-
paign trail by voting for Clinton. Nearly 80
percent of American Muslims voted for the
Democrat, while only 8 percent backed
Trump. By contrast, Clinton earned 70
percent of the Jewish vote, with Trump
garnering 25 percent.
But proportionally more American Jews
identify as liberal than do American Mus-
lims. While nearly half of American Jews
call themselves liberal, only 30 percent of
American Muslims do. Thats close to the
national average.
But Muslims are trending liberal on at
least one issue: A majority believe homo-
sexuality should be accepted in society,
compared to just 27 percent who felt that
way a decade ago. Four-fifths of American
Jews agree. JTA WIRE SERVICE
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Real Estate & Business

5 Days/5 Ways enabling middle

SELLING YOUR HOME? school students to make a difference
Areyvut of Bergenfield will again run 5
Days/5 Ways, its annual Chesed Camp,
from August 21 to August 25. The camp
will bring middle school students
together for a week to learn about and
participate in good deeds and commu-
nity service throughout Bergen County.
Once sleep-away camp is over, what
is a middle school student to do? Middle
school students want to make a differ-
ence and want to be treated as mature
and respected for the skills and knowl-
edge that they have. But it can be hard
to find setting where the adult-that-they-
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Most camps end the middle of August,
and there are still three weeks before
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can get away. Areyvut wants to give mid-
dle school students a chance to use one
Call Susan Laskin Today
of the weeks to engage in chesed and
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BergenCountyRealEstateSource.com Cell: 201-615-5353 The camp, based at the Friends of
2017 Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. Coldwell Banker is a registered trademark licensed to Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. Lubavitch of Bergen County but open
An Equal Opportunity Company. Equal Housing Opportunity. Owned and Operated by NRT LLC.
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Fishing around for a mortgage?
Zucchini nachos at Blue Moon Caf
Blue Moon Mexican Caf of Englewood
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Everyone loves cheesy nachos as a
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and how they can use those values to
make the world a better place.
They then go on a field trip and have
the opportunity to put their new skills
to work visiting seniors, cleaning trails,
packaging food, and reading to children.
They are challenged and pushed outside
their comfort zone as they deal with new
situations and meet new people. Partici-
pants in the program will make friends,
learn skills, maximize their talents, and
gain insights on community service and
Jewish tradition.
When asked about her experiences,
last years participant, Kayla Rachel
Singer said, I really enjoyed packing
clothing in boxes for Yad Leah. And it
made me feel really special that, when
I got the email that said that they were
able to ship a thousand boxes to Israel. I
knew I was a part of that.
Eitan Hiller, a fellow camper added, I
didnt realize how much being outside in
the real world and doing good can help
others and myself. For these and other
participants, 5 Days/5 Ways is an oppor-
tunity to do good and to feel good about
themselves.
For more information or to register
for the camp, visit http://www.areyvut.
org or contact Areyvut at (201) 244-6702
or info@areyvut.org.
chopped avocado, cilantro and muen-
ster cheese it wont wreck your diet.
Blue Moon Mexican cafs are located in
Englewood, Woodcliff Lake, Wyckoff, and
Bronxville, N.Y. For menus to order online,
weekly events, and updates on live enter-
tainment, visit bluemoonmexicancafe.
com or download the bluemoonmexican-
cafe app at ITunes.
The Blue Moon in Englewood is
located at 23 E. Palisade Ave. (201) 541-
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38 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017

REHAB HOTEL
AT THE
JEWISH HOME
PROGRAM DESCRIPTION:
Our Rehab Hotel at Jewish Home Assisted Living
provides nursing and rehabilitation services to get
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The program is designed to provide individuals
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Cable Television & Internet
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Appointments
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JEWISH STANDARD JULY 28, 2017 39

HAVE US
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Choose a Seasoning and/or Sauce
and our staff will grill your fish while you shop with us

SEASONING OPTIONS SAUCE OPTIONS

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