Zebbl er Com es t o Vi si t

By Cadence Rosenblum and Chloe

Cr able

Today w as a ver y special day because

Zebbler (Visual Ar tist, Video m apping
Volu m e 48 extr aor dinair e) cam e to visit CRCAP!
Issu e 10 Zebbler w as bor n in Belar us and
Tu es, 8/ 8/ 17 m oved to Am er ica w hen he w as 16. He
said he w as inspir ed by all of the
Daily Dou ble

digital oppor tunities in Am er ica, and

he becam e the am azing video ar tist
that he is today. Dur ing the Noontim e
Show , he show ed us som e of his
pr ojects such as a psychedelic
anim e-inspir ed video, and his w or k on
video m apping (lining up anim ated
video ar t to an object) the Boston
Public libr ar y and a concer t stage in
Costa Rica. He has also tr aveled on tour
and collabor ated w ith bands such as
Shpongle and EOTO. The Daily Double
asked him a few questions dur ing the
W h at i s Cov f ef e? show. We found out that he loves
By Kather ine Lam ber t cr eating video anim ations because he
loves br inging his ow n cr eation into
One of the gr eatest myster ies of our tim e has been br ought the w or ld. He said that his cr eations
to light by our * gag* cur r ent pr esident, Tr um p. He tw eeted, alm ost feel like his ow n baby that he
?despite the negative pr ess covfefe?. And that w as it. But can w atch com e to life. Aside fr om
w hat is covfefe? Is it a code w or d? An obscur e dog br eed? feeling happy and r ew ar ded by
The passw or d to the hacker account that w ill give pr oof show ing people his w or k on tour , he
that hacker s r igged the election (just w on?t give it up, w ill also says that tour ing and show ing his
you, Tr um py)? We don?t r eally know. But som e CRCAP ar t can m ake him feel scar ed, tir ed,
cam per s have ideas... and angr y? all at the sam e tim e!
Zebbler ?s ar t is tr uly am azing, and one
Kather ine: W hat do you think covfefe is? can tell that he puts a lot of effor t into
Walker : W hat happens w hen you elect a r acist dem agogue his w or k .
to be leader of the fr ee w or ld. Also ... HAPPY 2014!
Roxanne: Covfefe is Donald Tr um p?s species on his hom e
planet of Ur anus. They ar e a type of invasive fungal m old
that gr ow on peaches and tum or s and som etim es r epeat w or ds that they have lear ned listening to
people speak, like m ockingbir ds.
Juliana: It?s either a food or a m em e. It sounds like falafel.
Kalli: A type of pasta?
Zoe: I think it?s either som e for eign food or a m em e I haven?t hear d of yet.
Chr istina: It sounds like fluffy confetti.
M aeve: M aybe like a type of anim al that?s just fluffy.
Alex: It m ight be Festival Day.
Ricky: It?s a secr et under gr ound baseball gam e. No w ait, it?s an ar tist cult.
M addie: I think Donald Tr um p w as tr ying to w r ite ?cover age?but his thum bs ar e too lar ge and oily and
he didn?t car e enough about pr oofr eading.
Asher : I don?t know. W hat?s covfefe? * tur ns back to pr oject and ignor es m e*

So, it tur ns out nobody r eally know s, but tw o people said it sounded like food or a m em e, and another
per son said it sounded like a type of pasta. M aybe covfefe is w hat Donald Tr um p eats that m akes his
face so or ange. Per sonally I think the m ost likely thing is M addie?s? just kidding, I think it is m ost
likely Roxanne?s. I guess w e w ill never know ?
Don ?t Ask Us! (For Real Th i s Ti m e)
By Tillie Slosser and Br ian Taliano
Gosh dar n it, w e TOLD you not to ask us! * pulls
out shar p pointy objects* But no, you just had to,
didn?t you. W hen the devil said that he w ould
give m e im m or tality for this, I didn?t know it
w ould be this har d. Well, let?s get on w ith it.
Sigh.
1. Dear Don?t Ask Us, meet me in the Knitty Gritty
room this Festival Period.
Fir st off, by the tim e w e publish this question,
the Festival Per iod w ill have alr eady ended.
Second, w e r efuse. Unless you?r e going to
confir m our suspicions that Knitty Gr itty is
indeed plotting to take over the w or ld, and give
us a place on the soon-to-be High Council of
Knitter s. Did w e say that out loud?
2. W hat kind of meme is best?
This is an extr em ely difficult question, because
m em es, as w e all know , ar e a lifestyle. We gr ew
up sur r ounded by m em es. Our par ents w er e
m em es. For all w e know , w e our selves ar e half
m em e. Ther efor e, w e ar e the best kind of m em e.
3. Greetings my saviors.
We ar e your lor ds, but w e?r e not so sur e w e?r e
your savior s. Obey us. Leave one hundr ed
dollar s in an unm ar ked envelope under the Old
Building. Then, m aybe w e?ll talk about being
your savior s.
4. Salmon vs. Tuna, a cat?s opinion.
We?r e not telling you w hat w e ar e, but w e can
r eveal that w e ar e not cats. We ar e a r ar e
species of beetle. Oops. Well, the m or e you
know. We can ask a cat this question for you,
but m ost likely the cat w ill eat both and then
saunter aw ay, so w e?ll never know.
Lazi n ess Tw o: El ect r i c Boogal oo
By Peter Tr avis
Yet again, I have w r iter ?s block . So I have
decided to m ake a bunch of gibber ish that m ay
or m ay not be code. Or it?s just gibber ish. I don?t
know.
LYSUCEDACTEYDARSCTDDHHEUOM FOR
USIDOISIOGAKM EYNM OM ICPRNESEIM
EEEERUSOTHY
I?ll give you hint: Rear r ange the letter s. Each line
is a differ ent sentence.
Don al d Tr u m p I s Secr et l y an Al i en
By AnoNYm OuS777 (Ben Cr able)
Author?s Note: This article is purely humorous
and not meant to upset our conservative
audience. Also is it me, or does every fictional
alien planet start with ?Z??
Donald Tr um p CLAIM S to have been
bor n in New Yor k City, but he is secr etly fr om
the evil planet of Zor pensgur b. On
Zor pensgur b, the aliens disguise them selves as
hum an politicians and beam them selves dow n
to Ear th to tr y and contr ol the entir e w or ld!
Luckily, befor e now the Zor pensgur bian
politicians had a har d tim e disguising
them selves and have been com m only know n
as ?Lizar d People?, but now the
Zor pensgur bians have becom e sm ar ter and
successfully disguised a Zor pengur bian to look
exactly like a hum an. Thus, Donald Tr um p w as
bor n. He w as beam ed to Ear th and
successfully r an for pr esident (Obam a w as one
of the Zor pengur bians, but he tur ned against
them because he loved hum anity so m uch,
that?s w hy Tr um p hates Obam a so m uch). W ho
know s w hat Zor pensgur bian Tr um p w ill do
now ? Because no one on Ear th know s!
Th e I n t er n at i on al M LB New s
By Cole Tom etsko
The Red Sox w on last night against the
W hite Sox to sw eep the ser ies. Last night Chr is
Young hit tw o hom e r uns to lead the Sox to a
w in. In other new s, Aar on Judge hit his 35th
hom e r un to lead the Yankees to a 8-1 victor y.
The Dodger s w on again as w ell. Also, the
Pir ates and Astr os both w alked off. And finally,
for m er catcher Dar r en Daulton passed aw ay at
the age of 55.
Back t o sch ool
By Kylie O?Hear n
Back to school can be r eally
hear tbr eaking! You m ay feel like you do not
w ant to go to school. Getting school supplies is
r eally fun, but going back to school is not ver y
fun. Actually, lots of people say they have m ixed
em otions. That is r eally annoying. I have
alw ays been excited for back to school, except
for this year. None of my fr iends fr om
elem entar y school ar e in my cluster ! W hich is a
class but it is 100 kids. I am so sad. Ther e ar e
100 kids and I don't know any of them ! I bet
ever yone else is excited!
A Fan cy Cat Speci al
By The Fancy Cat and Flow ey Da Cat
FC: Hello, cam per s of the planet called Ear th
in the cam p of CRCAP. Today I have ?6?
questions and a special guest star that I
invited fr om my hom e planet of cats and
since w e have this w onder ful guest star , I
am going to be abbr eviating our nam es. FC
is m e. And F is the guest star. Give a w ar m
w elcom e to ... Flow ey Da Cat!
F: Oh hhhhhhiiiiiiiiii
Question Num ber One: Hello.
FC: Oh please don't do this, Flow ey.
F: HELLO FROM THE OVER SIDEEEE!!!!!!
FC: Please no. Anyw ay, this per son is saying
?Hello?because they w ant to give us a ver y
for m al gr eeting.
F: I think they know m e fr om fir st season
Question Num ber Tw o: I hate fish
FC: * No Com m ent*
F: HOW DARE YOU!!!!!
FC: I am ver y disappointed in you.
FC: Next.
F: Give m e fish
Question Num ber Thr ee: M y fr iend yelled at
m e; w hat do I do?
FC: ? I think you should tell them to stop
and if they continue doing it, don't hang out
w ith them anym or e. Unless it w as a playful
w ay.
F: To that per son that yelled ? be nice
Question Num ber Four : W hat is the Fancy
Cat?s r eal nam e?
FC: M y r eal nam e is Fancy. Get it r ight.
F: M y r eal nam e is flow ey
Question Num ber Five: A black and w hite
cat
FC: M y m om my is a black and w hite cat.
F: Lucky
Question Num ber Six: W hat is your r eal
nam e? (even though I know it)
FC: We r eally just w r ote that.
F: * no com m ent and leaves*
FC: That's all for now cam per s. Rem em ber ,
my advice colum n pocket things ar e in the
big r ed thing full of slots and your lunch
hall.
Far ew ell!
An sw er t o Th e M yst er y of t h e Poi son ed
Act r ess
By Jacob Rast
The culpr it in this case w as Jan Itor ino,
w ho had been w aiting for an oppor tunity for
r evenge ever since her dr eam s of being an
actr ess w er e cr ushed. W hen she w ent into
Em my Oscar i?s r oom to r eplace the ceiling fan,
M r s. Itor ino placed the pow der ed poison on the
blades. Later , she tur ned up the heat in M s.
Oscar i?s dr essing r oom , know ing that M s. Oscar i
w ould tur n on the fan, lie on her back, and pant.
The spinning of the blades spr ead the pow der
thr oughout the r oom , ending up in M s. Oscar i?s
open m outh and on top of all of the fur nitur e
befor e M s. Oscar i tur ned the fan off after a few
m inutes. Being M s. Oscar i?s fashion assistant,
M r s. Itor ino w as able to r eplace M s. Oscar i?s
clothes to hide the tr aces of poison on them . This
incident led to M s. Oscar i leaving the show , after
her r ecover y, and the show ?s subsequent
cancellation, but having clear ed your nam e, you
w er e given a new position and a r aise as an
apology for your tr oubles. After the incident, M s.
Oscar i continued acting, although she lear ned to
sim ply change the ther m ostat w hen too hot or
too cold. Esper Resso also tr ansitioned into the
acting w or ld, eventually becom ing a bigger
nam e than even M s. Oscar i thanks to her natur al
char m and to Per r y Oduzzer ?s backing.
Fi r st Bat ch of Qu est i on s!
By Anonym ous Advice
Gr eetings victi-I m ean, w onder ful people. I
am her e to answ er lots of questions today!
Question 1: [A bunch of scribbles on a piece of
paper]
This question is quite har d to inter pr et. But I
think the w r iter is tr ying to ask m e how I look so
handsom e at cam p. Well believe m e, it is quite
har d to look so handsom e thr oughout the cam p
day. It r equir es a lot of beauty sleep and m akeup.
Let?s answ er the r est of these questi-w ait a
m inute. The r est of the questions ar e nothing
m or e than blank pieces of paper ! W ho has done
this to m e! W hy w ould they r uin my 100% unique
advice colum n!
Well anyw ay that's my fir st batch of ?questions?! I
hope you enjoyed this once in a lifetim e
exper ience!
I n t er v i ew w i t h t h e Dover Post m ast er
By the Photojour nalism Class

Q - How many letters/ packages get sent

a day?
A- 450 - 350

Q - Do you get an employee discount?

A - No

Q - W hat is the largest package you

have ever shipped?
A - A package has to be 108 inches in
total of length plus gir th

Q - Do you enjoy working here?

A - Yes! I?ve w or ked 33 year s her e!

Q - W hat is the most popular stamp?

A - Flags ar e alw ays popular.

Q - Onvelope or envelope?
A - Onvelope

Q - Have you only worked in Dover?

A - No! I w or ked in Wellesley Hills as a
car r ier , and on an inspection team in
Boston.

Q - How much would it cost to send a

letter from Dover to California if you
wanted to get there as fast as possible?
A - $20, and it w ould be sent over night,
and ar r ive the next day!

Q - Do any postmen in Dover walk?

A - No! They all dr ive!

Q - Do you play music when you work?

If so what do you play?
A - Yes! Occasionally spor ts, but m ostly
ZLX

Q - How was this interview on a scale

from 1-10?
A-8
HELLO! Par t 1 How t o m ak e cook i es
By Br ooke Car ter By Kylie O?Hear n

BC: Oh, hello. Hello, ar e you ther e, Jake? Ar e you ther e? This r ecipe is so fun
JAKE: Oh, hey, B.C. ? I did not know you w er e ther e! I w as looking and easy! You need to m ake
all over for you. I w as in the bar n w her e w e alw ays m eet. these cookies r ight now !!!!!!
BC: Oh, I thought you w er e still getting lunch, but I guess I w as You pr obably have the
w r ong and just got us in all this m ess. I got both of us lost. ingr edients at your house.
JAKE: No, it w as m e ? I got us lost. They ar e r eally good so m ake
BC: How ? them r ight now !!!!!!!
JAKE: I did not tell you w her e to m eet, I just w ent to eat lunch
w ithout you, thinking you w ould com e w ithout m e, tell you you did Pr eeeeeeheeeeeeeat the oven
not know w her e I w as eating lunch. to 375 degr eeees.
BC: Well, I guess I did not do it it, w e both did it together but w ho 1. Soften 1 cup of butter.
w ants som eone like m e? 2. M ix together 3 cups of flour ,
JAKE: I do w ant som eone like you! You ar e my best fr iend and I do 1 teaspoon of baking soda and
not w ant to give you up. 1 /2 teaspoon of salt.
BC: W hy? 3. M ix together 2 eggs, 1 cup
JAKE: Because I w ill be lonely. of sugar , 1 cup of br ow n sugar
BC: So you only w ant to be my fr iend because you w ill be lonely and 2 teaspoons of vanilla.
w ithout m e? 4. M ix the dr y ingr edients into
JAKE: No, no. the non dr y ingr edients
BC: I do not w ant to be your fr iend anym or e. slow ly.
JAKE: B.C., no! Do not leave m e! 5. Add m any chocolate chips.
BC: I am not going to talk to you ever again! . 6M ooosh the cookie dough
JAKE: B.C., you can?t do that. into balls or use an ice cr eam
JOY: Hey, Jake. scoop.
JAKE: Oh, hey Joy. 7. Put all of the cookie dough
JOY: W hat?s going on? scoops on a cookie sheet on a
JAKE: Oh, not m uch, just a bad day. pan.
JOY: W hy ar e you not sitting w ith B.C.? 8. Bake
JAKE: She ditched m e. cooookieeeeeeeeeeeeees for
JOY: Oh, w hy did she do that? 8-10 m inutes, or until they
JAKE: Long, long, long, long stor y ? and you do not w ant to hear it. look r eady.
JOY: Yes I do, Jake! 9. Wait for them to cooool.
JAKE: I w ill call you. 10. Eat the cookies!!!!!!!!!!
To be continued ?

Heal t hy Br eak f ast I deas

by Kalie

Egg Sandw ich: Toast 2 slices of w hole w heat br ead until golden
br ow n. Cook eggs (any style). Put cheese on 1 piece of br ead. Place
egg on top of the cheese. Now you ar e done. You can eat this at
hom e or on the go!

Fr esh M uffins: Follow the instr uctions on a box of m uffin m ix.

Cover w ith plastic w r ap and put in the r efr iger ator. The next day,
take a m uffin tr ay and put 1 cupcake w r apper in the tr ay. Scoop
the m uffin m ix in the w r apper. Add fr uit or honey to the m ix in the
w r apper. Follow cooking dir ections. Put the r est of the m ix back in
the r efr iger ator and r epeat steps each day until you r un out of
m uffin m ix. You can do the sam e w ith pancake m ix.

Bagels and Gr anola Bar s: If you don't have tim e to m ake br eakfast,
just stop som ew her e and get a bagel or a gr anola bar.
10 M u si c Jok es
By Ethan M am enta
I can?t seem to w r ite an optim istic ar ticle, so it?s
tim e for som e m usic jokes. If you play any of the
instr um ents that I?m r oasting, don?t take it
per sonally ? I pr obably play it, too.
1) Q: How do you know if a guitar is out of tune?
A: It?s being played.
2) Q: W hy do bagpipe player s w alk w hen they
play?
A: To get aw ay fr om the noise.
3) Q: How m any sound guys does it take to scr ew
in a lightbulb?
A: One. Upon finding no r eplacem ent, he takes the
or iginal apar t, r epair s it w ith a chew ing gum
w r apper and duct tape, changes the scr ew m ount
to bayonet m ount, finds an appr opr iate patch
cable, and r e-installs the bulb fifty feet fr om
w her e it should have been, to the satisfaction of
the r est of the band.
Alter nate answ er : One tw o? one tw o?
4) Q: W hat do you get w hen you play new age
m usic backw ar ds?
A: New age m usic.
5) Q: How m any guitar ists does it take to scr ew in
a lightbulb?
A: Five: one to scr ew it in, and the other four to
com plain about how they could have done it
better.
6) Did you hear about the bassist that w as so bad
that som ebody noticed?
7) Q: How do you get a dr um m er to play in
acceler ando?
A: Ask them to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 BPM .
8) Q: How do you get a guitar ist to play softer ?
A: Give them sheet m usic.
9) Q: W hat?s a str ing quar tet?
A: A good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist,
and som eone w ho hates violinists all getting
together to com plain about com poser s.
10) Q: W hat do you call an or iginal djent song?
A: The fir st djent song.
I m ight do band jokes next if I can think of enough
of them .
Wal k er ?s M i n ecr af t Let ?s Pl ay
By AnoNYm OuS777 (Ben Cr able)
Author?s Note: Walker doesn?t play
M inecraft last I check, and this article is
purely for LOLs. Hopefully Walker will
understand.
Walker : Hello ever yone [in the Daily
Double Room ]. I am now doing a M inecr aft
let's-play!
All: Walker , w hy :(.
Walker : I alw ays w anted to play M inecr aft,
like the cool kids!
All: Walker , stop, befor e it?s too late!
Later , at Walker ?s House, as he is r ecor ding
his let?s-play.
Walker : Alr ight, so let?s build a cr afting
table. I adm it I haven?t played this gam e yet
so I m ay be a little noobish.
[Walker tr ies to cr aft the cr afting table w ith
dir t and sand]
Walker : Hm m m m , that didn?t w or k, OH I
know , lets tr y this r ed block w ith ?TNT?
w r itten on it. I have no idea w hat it stands
for , but I like w or ds on blocks! It r em inds
m e of my job as an English Teacher.
[Walker places the TNT dow n next to a lava
pit]
Walker : Hopefully this w ill give m e a
cr afting table!
[TNT explodes and Walker ?s m inecr aft
char acter dies]
Walker : Well, that?s all the tim e I have for
today. Be sur e to like and subscr ibe for
m or e helpful m inecr aft content! Have a
gr eat day!
Walker : Now I?m going to r econsider my
youtube car eer. W hy did I chose to do
M inecr aft Let?s-plays? I m ean ther e ar e so
m any of them .