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10 Habits to Achieve Emotional Maturity

April 25, 2015 by Johnny Pharr 2 Comments

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Emotional maturity is not just a goal, its a practice
of life.

In the same manner you repeat the motions of what you believe will slam dunk the
score inyour weekly basketball game, or your presentation for work, emotional
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will take you there.

Step One: Rehearse reaching your goals. The saying is correct, practice is perfect.
Regardless of our goals in life, we must want it enough to strive for our aims over and
over. This is true of emotional maturity. Putting in a concerted effort to grow in the
dealings of your relationships reinforces your emotional muscle memory.

Step Two: Daily afrmations keep your eye on the prize. We must tell ourselves what
we want to be each day so we believe in what we are saying and what we stand for.
After all, no one else is going to buy your self schpiel if you dont! You can repeat your
afrmations in the shower, or in the mirror. And you might feel silly at rst, but its
vital to have a mantra which we embrace, such as I am great, or I am strong, or I will
make good decisions today. With enough positive self talk, if we believe in what we
are saying others will as well.

Step Three: Set healthy boundaries. Being mature means stating what is acceptable to
you and what you will and will not allow. Once you dene that line, defend it. Dont
let anyone to cross it. Boundaries are important because when they are set, our
character also sets, becoming more resistant to nonsense and drama. When someone
charges ahead and breaks through our boundaries, we are compromised. Dont kid
yourself. We suffer emotionally and can sustain lifelong damage. Dont assume people
will know your limit either. Its your job to tell them.

Step Four: Learning to pause. Ahhhh.I love this step. Its such an important tool to
add to your tool belt. Pausing gives us an extra few seconds to allow ourselves to
choose to respond rationally, whether we are in the heat of an argument, or simply
muddling over a major decision. Speaking or reacting in haste can sometimes have a
negative impact and it guarantees you will have to take care of the cleanup that will
come later. Try to remember to never make long-term decisions when youre feeling
emotional. Its not fair treatment to you, or anyone else. Take a minute, an hour, even a
day if you need it. Mull over what the right thing is to say, then follow through with
supportive actions.

Step Five: Know when to say when, or more accurately, learn when to say when. So
few of us are born with this capacity. As humans we are privy to needing to
experience results from lessons and negative choices. Theres nothing wrong with this
mode of learning, and hey Ive been there, too. The trick is to learn before you punish
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staying in control makes a positive impact.

Step Six: Infuse emotional maturity into your work. Maintaining your emotional edge
plays a signicant role in your employment growth and can reward you with large
dividends, which will spill over into many areas of your life. Leading by example,
improving your active listening skills and saying thank you carries a lot of weight with
your subordinates. Humility is a tenet of emotional maturity.

Step Seven: Behavioral growth. When you make a mistake in life (and we are all
guilty!) learn from it. Recognizing when you screwed up without belaboring your own
mistakes to the point of penalty is valuable. Simply, note the mistake, determine to
improve your decision next time and be kind to yourself about your failings. Learning
from mistakes means growing behaviorally and spiritually. It means accepting you are
not perfect and getting nice and close with that fact.

Step Eight: Stop making poor choices, There comes a time when we have to give up
selecting optionsdesigned to bankrupt us mentally, spiritually, and nancially. Yep, we
all have to grow up whether we like it, or not. Resist the desire to live beyond your
means and the urge to do anything against your moral compass. Living well and
consciously isnt always easy, but it is always fruitful.

Step Nine: Change your friends (only if the friendship is detrimental to you).
Everyone grows out of things like a baby blanket, their toys, and clothes, but this
analogy can also apply to people. You may not hold commonality with everyone you
meet in life, and thats alright. So sometimes old friends must be left behind as we
move ahead. Other times, growth is uncomplicated: tastes change and our ideologies
do, too. If a person leaves your life because your paths dont converge, let them go nd
themselves without difculty. Dont hold them back from where they are supposed to
go, even if it means you cant accompany them.

Step Ten: Fall in love for the right reasons, When we are young we often fall in love
strictly on the basis of physical attraction. We forget mutual interests are superior to
physical attraction and that without these shared pursuits we will have a hard time
having a healthy relationship. Dont dismiss red ags because someone is physically
beautiful, red ags are still red ags. Being able to turn away from outward appeal
because it doesnt mesh with your internal monitor is a sign of a healthy and mature

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Filed Under: Advice & Confessions, Featured Content

Tagged With: Advice & Confessions, advice about mental health, advice and confessions,
emotional, emotional awareness, emotional health, emotional maturity

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About Johnny Pharr

Singer, songwriter, musician, Johnny Pharr is an engaging storyteller and
artist epitomizing the modern-day Renaissance Man. Its one of the biggest
compliments you can pay him.

Hes an adroit guitar player, who sometimes becomes so engrossed in music making, before
you know it, fours hours has passed and hes still at it!

His segue from songwriting to writing was only logical. With lyrics transformed into stories,
he captures the moments we all feel. Connection is vital to him.

He writes to release a constant stream of ideas, which converge to create his identity. When
his writing serves as a voice for other like-minded people, he is fullled. Johnny believes
writings preserve an historical aspect of time and the experiences and mysteries of life. He
also believes when we write and read, we heal.

Johnny reads to to rst graders in high poverty school districts to teach children to love
words as he does. His genuine compassion for each child and their aspirations is enough to
make these excursions a regular occurrence.

Animal lover, equal rights advocate, humanitarian and lover of all things on earth, Johnny
graduated with a degree in Manufacturing Engineering. He is a denite hybrid human who
happily exes both sides of his brain to inspire everyone in his path.

You can connect with Johnny on his Facebook page.

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2 Comments on "10 Habits to Achieve Emotional Maturity"

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Guest
Adele
2 years 4 months ago

Really GREAT article! This should be taught in grade school, and every year of a persons
education. So much of the worlds suffering stems from this simple problem People
ostensibly adults are still walking around with their childhood wounds, their deepest
fears, their past traumas not just apping in the wind for all to see, but actually STEERING
their lives, controlling their perception, and mangling their every relationship. The amount
of work it takes for human beings to interact successfully and with mutual respect and
freedom would be reduced astronomically if we ALL took responsibility for our
feelings,Read more

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Johnny Pharr
2 years 4 months ago

Wow! Thank you for such kind and expressive words.

0 | Share REPLY

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