Why Women Wash the Dishes

By Filomena Colendrino

Narrator: In the town of Santa Rosa there once lived a couple named Hugo and Imelda. Every mealtime they quarreled over the
chore of washing the dishes. Imelda would scold Hugo if he refused to wash the dishes. Sometimes she would become angry and call
him names, and if he talked back she would get her coconut midrib broom and chase him with it. He would run to the house of his
Compadre and hide there till his wifes anger had passed. The neighbor familiarly called cross Imelda; Ka Maldang, and Hugo, Ka
Ugong.

Ugong: I am not going to wash the dishes any more. He threw out his chest and lifted his chin.

Maldang: Why say so? Asked Ka Maldang, holding up her chin higher.

Ugong: I say so, I worked hard in the field this morning. I am not going to wash any dishes.

Maldang: Ka Maldang stood up and, with her arms akimbo, she glared down at Ka Ugong across the table. Her arms were stout. She
was a big woman.Her voice was also big. And who, Mister Hugo, is going to wash these dishes? She asked.

Ugong: Ka Ugongs chest sank again. His chin also went down. He held on the edge of the table nervously. You, he said a much lower
tone. You are the woman. You should do all the housework.

Maldang: And what do you do? Asked Ka Maldang. You tie the carabao to the reeds in the field and then you lie down on the grass
to watch it gaze. You call that hard work? I cook, clean the house, wash your clothes; scrub the floor, I do all the work that only
slaves do. And yet, you even refuse to help me wash the plate from which you have eaten? Ka Maldangs voice was now raise to a
high pitch and her tears poised on her eyelids ready to put down. She looked at Ka Ugong and her broom. She grabbed the broom.
She raised the broom to strike him, crying, You, you lazy man!

Ugong: Ka Ugong ducked under the table. Dont! He cried. Dont strike me!

Maldang: Come out from under the table, you coward, orderd Ka Maldang.

Ugong: Wait, dont strike me. Listen, said Ka Ugong. I got a plan that should decide who should wash the dishes. He still crouched
under the table.

Maldang: Come out of there. Come out and speak like a man, not mew like a cat under the table, said Ka Maldang.

Ka Ugong: Ka Ugong returned to his seat opposite her at the table.

Maldang: What have you to say? Asked Ka Maldang, wiping her eyes.

Ugong: Lets stop quarreling over the plates. Let us have a wager. The first one of us who will speak after I have said the word
begin will wash the dishes. Always.

Maldang: Only that? Asked Ka Maldang. The first one who talks will always wash the plates, and bowls, and pots and pans.
Always.

Ugong: Right, said Ka Ugong. If you even say just one word to me, or to anybody, or to anything, after I had said begin, you will
always wash the dishes.

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Maldang: Thats easy. I can keep my mouth shut even for a week. You cannot. You even talk to your carabao.

Ugong: All right. Are you ready? Asked Ka Ugong. Ka Maldang sat upright in front of him across the table. She nodded her head,
compressed her lips, and Ka Ugong said, Begin!

Narrator: They both fell silent. They sat at the table looking at each other across the unwashed plates and bowls and spoons. They
did not like to leave each other for fear that one would talk to himself without others hearing. They sat there just staring. Soon the
cat began to mew its food. Neither Ka Maldang nor Ka Ugong paid any attention to its mewing. The cat jumped upon the drying
dishes to lick the left-overs. Ka Maldang did not drive it away, neither did Ka Ugong.

The cat licked the plates, jumped to the stove to lick the pot and pan on it. Over turned a kettle. Ka Ugong pretended that nothing
happened. He continued to sit still, and so did Ka Maldang. Soon it was getting late in the afternoon but they went on sitting mutely
at the lunch table. Their eyes were tired down staring hard at each other. Tears began to roll down their cheeks. Ka Ugongs shirt
became damp with his sweat. Ka Maldangs sweat gathered on forehead, and trickled down to the sides of her face, and fell drop by
drop to her breast.

Neighbor: Ka Ugong! Ka Ugong did not answer. The neighbor called again, Comadre Maldang! Yoohoo! Compadre Maldang!
Yoohoo compadre ugong, May I borrow your ax?

Narrator: Ka Ugong did not answer. Ka ugong looked at her silently.

Neighbor: But why did they leave their ladder at the door? They usually remove the ladder when they go away. Well, I will just go
up, get the ax and return it later. The neighbor went up. When the neighbor went up the bamboo ladder he was surprised to see Ka
Maldang and Ka Ugong sitting silently at the table where plates had dried up with left-overs. He hurried towards them. What
happened to you Compadre, what happened? He asked Ka Ugong.

Narrator: Ka Ugong neither moved nor talked.

Neighbor: The neighbor repeated his question: What happened to you compadre? He took Ka Ugongs shoulders.

Narrator: Ka Ugong let him shake him, closing his lips tighter.

Neighbor: The neighbor turned to Ka Maldang: What happened to you Comadre what happened? He shook her shoulders, too.

Narrator: She pushed him roughly aside but did not speak.

Neighbor: Did you eat something poisonous? Some food that has made you dumb? He shook each one alternately. But still neither
stood up or talked.

Narrator: The neighbor was alarmed. He did not get the ax but ran out of the house to the rest of the neighbors. He told them that
something terrible had happened to his Comadre Maldang and Compadre Ugong. The neighbors gathered at Ka Maldangs dining
room.

Man 1: they took turns trying to make them speak.

Man 2: But the two continued to sit staring at each other in silence.

Woman 1: Ka Maldang looked at her husband threatening for a moment then closed her eyes.

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Narrator: Ka Ugong knew that she did so to avoid at the neighbors.

Neighbor: The Compadre was very much worried. He ran to the village herb-man.

Narrator: The herb-man came lie down.

Herb-man: and when he saw the motionless, silent husband and wife sitting at the table, he declared that they were bewitched. He
spread a woven buri mat in the sala and asked the bewitched couple to lie down.

Man 1: Ka Ugong obediently lay down and closed his eyes.

Woman 2: He curled up and went to sleep.

Man 2: But Ka Maldang refused to get up from where she sat at the dining table.

Herb-man: The herb-man said, Ah, the spirit which has taken possession of her is very stubborn. I must break its spell.

Narrator: He then produced from a small bag which he always carried,

Woman 2: nine pisces of bell leaf,

Woman 3: a piece of areca nut,

Woman 1: a little lime from a tiny bone.

Herb-man: He examined the leaves closely to choose those which had veins running in identical arrangements on each side of them
midrib.

Neighbor: He cut the nut into nine pieces.

Man 2: He spread a little lime on each betel leaf, rolled them

Man 1: and wrapped them around each piece of areca nut.

All: He now had nine rings of the leaves.

Herb-man: This represents the lost spirit of the couple, he said. He chewed the leaf and nut.

Woman 1: When he had chewed it,

Neighbor: He spat on his palm,

Herb-man: dipped a forefinger of the other hand into the b=nut-colored saliva and marked with it a cross on the forehead of Ka
Ugong

Man 2: Ka Ugong did not seem to feel the old mans fingers on his forehead.

Herb-man: and Ka Maldang.

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Woman 3: Ka Maldang caught the mans finger and twisted it.

Herb-man: The old herb doctor cried, Aray! and pulled back his hand. He moved toward Ka Ugong who was lying down, calling his
name and slowly several times, Come Ugong. Come back, Ugong!

The men: Ka Ugong did not move or speak.

Herb-man: Come, Maldang.Come home to your body now Come, Maldang, chanted the old man.

The women: Ka Maldang did not answer

Narrator: Evening fall on the frightened village, frightened because the herb doctor said that the spell might be cast on some other
villagers besides Ka Ugong and Ka Maldang. He called to the bewitched couple softly at first

Herb-man: Come, Ugong, Maldang

Narrator:and then louder,

Herb-man: Come, UgongCome, Maldang

All: But still they did not move.

Woman 2: Ka Maldang soon became tired so she reclined against the bamboo chair.

Herb-man: The old herb-man said, This is the first witchery of its kind that I have met here. By their silence I believe that they are
dead. Their spirits, driven away by the witch, have left their bodies. The only thing to do now in order to keep their souls in peace
and to prevent this witchcraft from spreading among us is to bury them.

Narrator: The herb-man ordered some of the men to look for bamboos to make two coffins immediately before the malady would
go to them. In no time, the two coffins made of bamboos, hurriedly tied together were finished.

Woman 1: The women began to weep for Ka Maldang.

Woman 2: She leaned rigidly against the back of her chair,

Woman 3: and shut her lips tight.

Herb-man: The herb-man asked the men gathered around to lift the couple into their coffins. We shall bury them at sunrise. Some
of us have to stay to keep the wake for the dead, he said.

Narrator: The men easily lifted Ka Ugong and placed him aside his coffin. Surely, Ka Ugong said to himself, he would win the wager.
He would not be afraid of being buried. Why, he would just get out of the grave when the neighbors were gone. He thought
everything going on was great fun and he was enjoying himself. How he would frighten them all when he returned from his gravel.

Herb-man: The herb-man approached Ka Maldang.

Narrator: Although her eyes were closed she had been listening to his directions. She was afraid that he would surely force her into
her coffin is she did not tell him to go away. But she did not like to talk. She hoped her husband would object to the mens lifting of

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her into the coffin. Surely, Hugo will not buried tomorrow. I am afraid to sleep in that coffin tonight. No, I will not let them lift me
into it, she said to herself. But she did not hear Ka Ugong speak.

Woman 2: She opened her eyes just as the herb-man, aided by two other men, put his arms around her to lift her up from her chair.

Maldang: Ka Maldang pushed the men, go to her feet and shouted, Dont touch me! Get out! Get out of my house! Shame on you
for coming here, meddling with our lives!

Ugong: Ka Ugong leaped to his feet. He also shouted, You talked first! He jumped about clapping his hands and saying to the
astonished neighbors, She talked first. We have a wager. Now, she will always wash the dishes!

Maldang: Ka Maldang lifted the lid of Ka Ugongs coffin to strike his head

Ugong: but he ran out with his neighbors, still shouting happily and saying, I won, I knew I would win! Now I will never wash the
dishes.

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