To the coward who couldn't own up to his mistake and the office that protected him: ‘Not only did you fail me, but you failed anyone who has experienced a traumaticevent such as this. You made me feel weak and dirty. as if | asked for something like this to happen tome. You made me doubt my self worth and place in this society. You stuck a knife into an already open wound and dug it in-even farther, withno care as to how I would recaver. Tothe coward: ‘I wanted so bad to give you benefit of the doubt. I really thought you understood the seriousness of that night and would have done things differently had you known someone decided that | needed something “extra” in my drink wanted to think you were remorseful and were going to be more careful in the future. | mean society tells us “boys will be boys”, so j thought you just couldn't help yourself. Butit has become clear to me that either you don't care or don't understand that if girl is throwing up, or sleeping, she cannot consent to any activities you may want to pursue. ‘Before involving anybody in this situation, I reached aut to youto give you a chance to redeem yourself, to express regret, or simply acknowledge that you probably could have done things differently that night. Instead, you denied your role in this incident and insisted that I just forget about itand move on. You defended yourself and made no attempt to make amends, even though I had not even accused you of anything. That was when it clicked that you did NOT fee! bad about what had happened and there was.a chance you did what you did with full intent. ‘1 won't go into detail about the event that happened or the investigation that followed. it happened and nothing can change that_| will however, comment om your cowardly approach toa sensitive topic. When I went to Title IX to finally release the emotion and details of a story that had been haunting me for years, you decided to attack. You lied about almost every detail involved and acted like 2 victim, You decided to use your platform to paint meas slut and put me on trial, to defend myself against accusations that | couldn't possibly remember since I had been unknowingly drugged and taken advantage of. Instead of owning up to your actions and explaining yourself, you took the coward's way out and made up astory that would make you look a whole lot better, without any care for my well being You decided that your reputation and sense of self was a whole lot more important than the complications that were affecting my life. As if assaulting an unconscious ‘women wasn’tlbad enough, you had the audacity'to lie about it and add to the pain she was alteady experiencing. To the Title IX office that protected him: ‘Youare even worse. You preach inclusivity and equality but it does nat seem to be one of your actual priorities. You say that you protect thase who have been treated disrespectfully or unfairly, but I felt so much worse after being involved with your office. It fet like the only thing you were protecting was the school's reputation and my aggressor,leame to your office because time and time again, you tell students that itis ‘what you should co if you find yourself in these situations. Haven and WOW presentations drill into our heads the meaning of consent and the resources available to those whose consent has been ignored, But this must be a fagade because the only thing I'got out of my time with you was that men are the priority for protection and that { must have been mistaken about what happened to me. Apparently a woman's word dees not really mean anything. Apparently a group of witnesses observing my intoxicated vomiting does not mean that | was under the influence of anything, Apparently the word of one stupid man means more than the words ofseven women. Thad nathing to gain from reporting this incident except for peace of mind and a step towards recovery. I had been suffering for two years from nightmares, panic attacks, and stomachaches so bad I would throw up and alll wanted to-do was take back control of my body. instead, you made me fee! like a iar and a slut You made me feel like you didn't want to hear a word I had to say because the coward ‘had told you the easier story that made the university look better. understand you are supposed to be a neutral resource, but the language used in your report was so completely biased against me that I wasin shock reading your findings. | felt judged and worthless, asif I had made a mistake in bringing to light the very real events that are happening on this campus. But apparently | told my story to a group that was more concerned with hiding the truth than consoling a hurting victim. You ignored my struggles and pushed the messages of rape culture deeper into mind. According to you, it really doesn’t matter if someone gives consent or if they are even capable of doing so, just as long as they don't make a fuss about it Apparently, women are confused and don’t know what they're saying when they believe they have been sexually assaulted. Apparently, it's ok for a man to invasively touch a sleeping girl, as longas he lies about it afterwards. And, because your office decided 1 was making this whole thing up (which | am not sure haw that would benefit me in any way) it could very well happen again and again because this coward sees that he can get away with it. So you have really failed us all The “protection” you advertise means nothing. Women’s safety is nota concern at this, university. Until you prove that our words mean something and that our right to consent is valid, you cannot say that you are an office for equality. ‘To the coward who couldn't own up to his mistakes and the office that protected him: you may have decided that this incident didn’t happen to me, but itis an experience I will unfortunately never forget. And I will NOT let you continue to treat us like this. Sincerely, Melissa Giddens