Black Mirror S03E01 720p WEBRip DD5 1 x264-ITSat

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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
... www.Addic7ed.com ...
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[glass cracks]
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[birds chirping]
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_
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[panting]
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[phone beeps]
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[beeps]
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- [man] Hey, Lacie!
- Hey! [giggles]
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[phone beeps]
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[camera clicks]
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["send" alert plays]
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[phone beeps]
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[giggles]
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[giggles]
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[giggles]
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[laughing hysterically]
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[Lacie] Ryan?
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[combat sounds on headset]
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Ryan!
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- [yells]
- [explosion on headset]
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- I was holding a bomb!
- [man] Come on!
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Sorry, guys.
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Landlord is sending buyers over
today so... put your pants on.
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Maybe if I don't, it'll scare 'em
off and we can stay here.
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[singsong] Not an option, Ryan.
Lease is up in four weeks.
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Hey, I'm thinking of you.
I've got somewhere to go.
27
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Nate's roommate took a job in
Phoenix so I get his place.
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00:02:46,554 --> 00:02:48,810
- Okay.
- Now who's the slow poke?
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I'm... seeing some places
over lunch. Catch you later.
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[gunfire on headset]
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Sorry, that was my sister.
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Yeah. Yeah, I bet you'd love to.
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[man] Jasmine tea?
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[child giggles]
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[phone beeps]
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[man] And that's one Brushed Suede.
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You want a cookie with that?
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- It's on the house.
- Sounds awesome. [giggles]
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- [Lacie giggles]
- [phone beeps]
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00:03:38,074 --> 00:03:40,890
- See you tomorrow, JJ.
- See you, Lacie.
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[laughs]
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[gasps] Oh, I saw your boy in
the fire hat just now! So cute!
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- Yeah, he's really something.
- [laughs]
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[phone beeps]
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[chuckles softly]
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[laughs]
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[camera shutter clicks]
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Hmm.
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[phone beeps]
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[phone beeps repeatedly]
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[elevator bell dings]
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Hey, Lacie!
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- Bets, it's great to see you!
- You too.
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[Lacie giggles]
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[cat meows]
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[Lacie] How's Pancakes?
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He's hilarious. Such a
funny cat. Just the best.
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[both laugh]
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00:05:39,874 --> 00:05:42,010
- Are you still at Hoddicker?
- Mm-hmm.
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00:05:42,034 --> 00:05:45,130
- Yeah. It's going pretty great.
- Good to hear.
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00:05:45,154 --> 00:05:47,370
- So what brings you back here?
- New job, first day.
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- First day?
- At Blankman-Harper.
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Whoa! Top floor! That's...
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- Well, good luck.
- I know, right? [laughs]
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00:05:57,554 --> 00:06:00,650
It's great you're still
happy at Hoddicker.
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00:06:00,674 --> 00:06:02,970
- Well, maybe not forever.
- No, not forever.
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00:06:02,994 --> 00:06:04,690
- But for now...
- It's OK for now.
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It's great for now, yes. Yes, it is.
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[chattering]
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[phone ringing]
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[phone beeps]
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[beeping]
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[waves crashing, seagulls squawk]
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Lacie, I got you a smoothie.
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00:07:08,314 --> 00:07:12,074
Got one for everyone, actually.
Still a bunch of them for grabs.
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They're from the organic
stall at the farmers' market.
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Sure. Okay.
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[gasps]
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Mmm!
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[phone beeps]
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Thank you. Thank you.
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[whispers] We're kind
of not talking to Ches.
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- 3.1? What happened?
- Him and Gordon split up.
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Oh...
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- Poor Ches.
- No, no, no, we're all on Gordon's side.
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Sure! Obviously.
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Ches is kissing ass.
Trying to scrape himself back.
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Of course, if it drops below two-five,
then it's... bye-bye.
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00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,394
[phone beeps]
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[both gasp]
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00:08:08,434 --> 00:08:09,794
[phone beeps]
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_
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[phone beeping]
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[ringtone chiming]
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[Lacie] Hello?
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- [Ryan] Yo, they're taking it.
- Who?
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The couple the landlord sent over.
I heard them talking.
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Okay.
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So, now we move into
the light space area.
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Ideal for special times with loved ones.
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- Great food, great company.
- Mm-hmm!
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- [phone beeps]
- Whoa! [laughs]
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[woman] Sampled your
photo stream to make her.
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Great hair!
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[woman] Styled free of charge
at the members' salon.
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Oh, my God. [giggles]
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[Lacie] It's hilarious!
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[woman] You like him?
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- He's okay.
- He doesn't come with the apartment.
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[both laugh]
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But there is a bar and restaurant
on site, tenants only.
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We have unparalleled
metrics on romantic geneses.
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Uh-huh.
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[woman] I gotta say,
these places are going like "that."
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- So don't delay if you're interested.
- Oh, I'm more than interested.
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Standard occupancy on a
minimum six-month contract,
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we're talking... this much.
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00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:53,979
- How often are the payments?
- That's weekly.
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- Okay.
- [woman laughs]
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- A little more than expected?
- Yeah.
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There's options.
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00:10:00,139 --> 00:10:02,595
You know our Prime Influencers Programme?
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00:10:02,619 --> 00:10:05,339
- Do I qualify for that?
- No. No, you don't.
124
00:10:06,179 --> 00:10:08,539
We'd need you around a 4.5.
125
00:10:09,974 --> 00:10:12,595
4.5?
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00:10:12,619 --> 00:10:15,779
Hit 4.5 and there's a 20% discount.
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00:10:19,689 --> 00:10:21,699
- 4.5.
- That's right.
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[sighs]
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[laughs]
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[sighs]
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[laughter]
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[beeps]
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[laughs softly]
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Pelican Cove? What is this?
A eugenics programme?
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00:11:21,659 --> 00:11:26,635
- A lifestyle community.
- No one is this happy.
136
00:11:26,659 --> 00:11:29,155
A two-year-old with a fucking
balloon isn't this happy.
137
00:11:29,179 --> 00:11:32,116
It's actually a pretty cool place.
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00:11:33,539 --> 00:11:35,979
Like you'd even qualify.
139
00:11:42,539 --> 00:11:44,195
There's nothing I can do, sir.
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[man] Well, it's not hopeless,
you're clearly a tryer.
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00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:50,275
That's the sense you get just from... me?
142
00:11:50,299 --> 00:11:52,955
From your rep report analytics.
143
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:56,595
If we drill down into the numbers,
you've got a solid popularity arc here.
144
00:11:56,619 --> 00:12:00,099
Strong overall trajectory.
Let's just look at the last 24 hours.
145
00:12:00,909 --> 00:12:01,829
You see, even...
146
00:12:02,459 --> 00:12:06,395
What's that? 8:40 a.m. You're
working hard on your socials.
147
00:12:06,419 --> 00:12:08,435
- Great little uptake there.
- Okay.
148
00:12:08,459 --> 00:12:11,795
Couple of minor dings there.
You cut someone off in traffic?
149
00:12:11,819 --> 00:12:14,715
Oh, just a workplace thing. [laughs]
150
00:12:14,739 --> 00:12:17,755
Okay. Let's check on
your sphere of influence.
151
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,819
Let me zoom out here.
152
00:12:20,643 --> 00:12:24,155
Great peripherals.
Strangers like you, that's a plus.
153
00:12:24,179 --> 00:12:28,475
- Healthy inner circle. It's good.
- Thank you. [giggles]
154
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:32,379
There's a ways to go,
but 4.5 is certainly achievable.
155
00:12:32,916 --> 00:12:34,292
How long do you think?
156
00:12:34,316 --> 00:12:35,492
- To hit 4.5?
- Mm-hmm.
157
00:12:35,516 --> 00:12:37,572
Well, barring a major setback,
158
00:12:37,596 --> 00:12:41,756
a public disgrace kind of deal,
I'd say 18 months or so.
159
00:12:42,916 --> 00:12:47,292
Oh, I need more short term.
Like... much more. [laughs]
160
00:12:47,316 --> 00:12:48,596
Then you'll need a boost.
161
00:12:49,476 --> 00:12:51,676
- What kind of a boost?
- Well...
162
00:12:53,156 --> 00:12:55,972
Most of your interactions are
confined to your inner circle
163
00:12:55,996 --> 00:13:00,492
and they're largely, pardon the term,
mid-to low-range folks.
164
00:13:00,516 --> 00:13:01,932
Same with your outer circle.
165
00:13:01,956 --> 00:13:05,212
You've got a ton of reciprocal five
stars from service industry workers,
166
00:13:05,236 --> 00:13:07,172
but there's not much else.
167
00:13:07,196 --> 00:13:08,515
At least as far as I can see.
168
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:11,812
So in terms of quality,
you could use a punch up right there.
169
00:13:11,836 --> 00:13:14,996
Ideally, that's up votes
from quality people.
170
00:13:16,556 --> 00:13:18,532
- Quality people?
- High fours.
171
00:13:18,556 --> 00:13:22,172
Impress those up-scale folks,
you'll gain velocity on your arc
172
00:13:22,196 --> 00:13:23,836
and there's your boost.
173
00:13:25,196 --> 00:13:26,876
[phone beeps]
174
00:13:33,036 --> 00:13:35,556
[panting]
175
00:13:38,756 --> 00:13:41,396
- Oh, hi, JJ!
- Hey, Lacie!
176
00:13:41,996 --> 00:13:43,556
- Keith! Hello.
- Lacie!
177
00:13:44,756 --> 00:13:46,756
- [Keith] You look great today.
- Thank you!
178
00:13:47,716 --> 00:13:51,953
- Door won't open. I'm on 2.4.
- Sorry, Ches. I'm late.
179
00:13:51,978 --> 00:13:53,898
I just need some stars, please!
180
00:13:55,556 --> 00:13:56,876
Fuck!
181
00:14:00,142 --> 00:14:01,502
[elevator bell dings]
182
00:14:05,476 --> 00:14:08,132
- Oh, hi!
- Hi!
183
00:14:08,156 --> 00:14:11,492
- How's it going at Blankman?
- Just great.
184
00:14:11,516 --> 00:14:16,716
- Well, I bet you work... good there.
- Thank you.
185
00:14:21,276 --> 00:14:23,092
Would you like a croissant?
186
00:14:23,116 --> 00:14:25,292
They gave me an extra
at the coffee place.
187
00:14:25,316 --> 00:14:28,492
- Oh, no, I already ate.
- Okay, sure. All good. Yes.
188
00:14:28,516 --> 00:14:29,756
Yeah.
189
00:14:31,796 --> 00:14:36,452
- [elevator bell dings]
- Well, here's me, so...
190
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:40,436
- [giggles]
- [phones beep]
191
00:14:44,076 --> 00:14:46,972
Don't try too hard.
It's impossible to respect.
192
00:14:46,996 --> 00:14:51,492
High fours can smell it
a mile off. Just be you.
193
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,812
Authentic gestures, that's the key.
194
00:14:53,836 --> 00:14:57,276
- That's time up, I'll catch you later.
- Oh, could I just ask...
195
00:15:11,436 --> 00:15:12,516
[phone chirps]
196
00:15:23,396 --> 00:15:25,036
[beeping]
197
00:15:51,436 --> 00:15:52,236
[camera clicks]
198
00:15:54,596 --> 00:15:55,716
[chirps]
199
00:16:00,436 --> 00:16:04,756
[mutters]... "Mr. Rags."
200
00:16:04,781 --> 00:16:07,040
_
201
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,491
_
202
00:16:09,516 --> 00:16:11,396
[exhales]
203
00:16:21,156 --> 00:16:22,156
[sighs]
204
00:16:23,276 --> 00:16:24,836
[beeps]
205
00:16:35,276 --> 00:16:36,516
[laughs]
206
00:16:41,916 --> 00:16:43,276
[gasps]
207
00:16:43,756 --> 00:16:45,121
Shit!
208
00:16:54,876 --> 00:16:58,692
- What the fuck is that?
- Tapenade. Want some?
209
00:16:58,716 --> 00:17:00,452
Who even are you?
210
00:17:00,476 --> 00:17:03,012
It's just something I wanna eat, Ryan.
211
00:17:03,036 --> 00:17:04,316
[phone beeps]
212
00:17:05,956 --> 00:17:06,756
[gasps]
213
00:17:07,316 --> 00:17:08,836
Oh, my God.
214
00:17:10,276 --> 00:17:11,996
- What is it?
- Naomi!
215
00:17:12,716 --> 00:17:13,796
Shit!
216
00:17:14,516 --> 00:17:19,076
Old school, el perfecto Naomi?
You guys keep in contact?
217
00:17:19,636 --> 00:17:22,196
Ryan, just go! Go!
218
00:17:28,076 --> 00:17:32,052
[Lacie] Oh, my God!
Nay-Nay, how are you? [giggles]
219
00:17:32,076 --> 00:17:34,452
I was just fixing myself a snack.
220
00:17:34,476 --> 00:17:39,372
Oh, Lace, could I just say I
am so happy to see your face?
221
00:17:39,396 --> 00:17:42,212
- Me too. It's been...
- Too long.
222
00:17:42,236 --> 00:17:44,203
- Way too long.
- And that's my fault.
223
00:17:44,228 --> 00:17:47,092
- No, it's mine. Everything is just so...
- Everything's just so...
224
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:50,452
Crazy! Oh, it's so good to see you.
225
00:17:50,476 --> 00:17:54,012
When you posted that
Mr. Rags photo...
226
00:17:54,036 --> 00:17:56,012
I know, Mr. Rags!
227
00:17:56,036 --> 00:17:58,012
I just had to call
228
00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:01,332
and talk to you because...
229
00:18:01,356 --> 00:18:03,332
Whoo-hoo!
230
00:18:03,356 --> 00:18:05,372
[screams, laughs]
231
00:18:05,396 --> 00:18:07,811
Wow! That's a... big ring! [laughs]
232
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:12,572
Congratulations! Who's the, um... Paul?
233
00:18:12,596 --> 00:18:16,172
He is great. So smart. Just sweet.
234
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,012
I know you're gonna love him.
235
00:18:18,036 --> 00:18:19,172
Uh-huh.
236
00:18:19,196 --> 00:18:20,932
So, anyways, the big day...
237
00:18:20,956 --> 00:18:22,172
Yes, when is it?
238
00:18:22,196 --> 00:18:23,692
So, we're getting married in a month
239
00:18:23,716 --> 00:18:24,852
on his family's estate
240
00:18:24,876 --> 00:18:26,132
up here on the island.
241
00:18:26,156 --> 00:18:28,932
This place outside Port Mary,
Honeysuckle. You heard of it?
242
00:18:28,956 --> 00:18:30,012
No, but...
243
00:18:30,036 --> 00:18:31,932
Well, it's a private island.
244
00:18:31,956 --> 00:18:36,252
[singsong] Take a looooook!
245
00:18:36,276 --> 00:18:38,532
Oh, wow! That is... [giggles]
246
00:18:38,556 --> 00:18:43,012
I know, right? So... can you make it?
247
00:18:43,036 --> 00:18:45,476
Are you kidding? Of course.
248
00:18:46,116 --> 00:18:48,436
Great, cool,
cos I was wondering if...
249
00:18:49,905 --> 00:18:51,956
Lace, do you think...
250
00:18:53,076 --> 00:18:54,476
Would you be my maid of honour?
251
00:18:55,356 --> 00:18:56,463
Seriously?
252
00:18:58,132 --> 00:18:59,212
Oh, my God.
253
00:19:01,892 --> 00:19:06,052
I mean, you've got such cool
friends now. Are you sure?
254
00:19:06,076 --> 00:19:10,812
Remember when we used to plan our
dream weddings when we were, like, 11?
255
00:19:10,836 --> 00:19:15,451
- I know but we haven't s...
- I don't know, just seeing Mr. Rags...
256
00:19:15,476 --> 00:19:19,172
All the memories.
It just brought things home.
257
00:19:19,196 --> 00:19:20,332
Oh, Nay-Nay.
258
00:19:20,356 --> 00:19:22,691
I know we haven't kept in touch
as much as I'd have liked
259
00:19:22,716 --> 00:19:25,852
and that is totally my fault,
but this is a big day.
260
00:19:25,876 --> 00:19:31,572
A big life day and I want my oldest
friend with me, my oldest friend.
261
00:19:31,596 --> 00:19:33,356
I want you by my side.
262
00:19:34,436 --> 00:19:37,956
Oh, my God. Thank you.
263
00:19:39,092 --> 00:19:40,932
What do I have to...
264
00:19:40,956 --> 00:19:43,292
Not much to it. A speech, mainly.
265
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,412
Speech? Of course!
266
00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:48,172
Mm-hmm. How big's the crowd?
267
00:19:48,196 --> 00:19:50,692
Oh, my gosh, like...
[sings] hundreds!
268
00:19:50,716 --> 00:19:54,292
It's a crazy guest list. I'll send it now.
269
00:19:54,316 --> 00:19:57,292
Paul's invited so many,
I don't want to call them big deals,
270
00:19:57,316 --> 00:19:59,702
but they're all, like, 4.7 or above.
271
00:20:01,436 --> 00:20:02,716
Uh-huh.
272
00:20:04,076 --> 00:20:08,052
Nay-Nay, I will not
let you down. [giggles]
273
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:12,212
Don't sweat too much!
Just talk about old memories.
274
00:20:12,236 --> 00:20:14,812
- Sure.
- How we were, any old things.
275
00:20:14,836 --> 00:20:16,892
- Gotcha.
- I'll ping you some anecdotes.
276
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:19,132
- That would be great.
- And what's your dress size?
277
00:20:19,156 --> 00:20:20,372
Oh, um...
278
00:20:20,396 --> 00:20:22,532
I'll tell you what,
I'll just send you a four.
279
00:20:22,556 --> 00:20:24,892
- Perfect.
- We got matching bridesmaids dresses.
280
00:20:24,916 --> 00:20:26,772
Well, anyway...
281
00:20:26,796 --> 00:20:29,332
[both scream]
282
00:20:29,356 --> 00:20:31,332
[both laugh]
283
00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:33,107
Love you, Lay.
284
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,852
You too, Nay-Nay! [giggles]
285
00:20:35,876 --> 00:20:36,676
Oh!
286
00:20:37,556 --> 00:20:38,492
Bye.
287
00:20:38,516 --> 00:20:40,292
[laughs nervously]
288
00:20:40,316 --> 00:20:41,612
[beeping]
289
00:20:41,636 --> 00:20:43,276
[sighs]
290
00:20:44,996 --> 00:20:47,396
What was that? The F-word?
291
00:20:48,516 --> 00:20:50,676
You two pussy pals now?
292
00:20:51,276 --> 00:20:52,692
[sighs] Shut up.
293
00:20:52,716 --> 00:20:56,052
- She was always mean to you.
- No, she wasn't.
294
00:20:56,076 --> 00:20:59,812
- She had that rhyme about you.
- That was a game.
295
00:20:59,836 --> 00:21:03,252
- What about when she cut your hair?
- I asked her to.
296
00:21:03,276 --> 00:21:04,892
She fucked Greg.
297
00:21:04,916 --> 00:21:09,876
She... did not fuck Greg. [laughs]
298
00:21:14,956 --> 00:21:16,756
She looked hot. I'll give her that.
299
00:21:23,903 --> 00:21:24,983
[man] Okay.
300
00:21:27,116 --> 00:21:28,476
Impressive.
301
00:21:31,116 --> 00:21:35,932
- Uh-huh. Jesus. Yeah, that'd do it.
- Mm-hmm.
302
00:21:35,956 --> 00:21:37,412
[phone rings]
303
00:21:37,436 --> 00:21:38,732
[woman] Pelican Cove.
304
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:42,932
Carole, it's Lacie. Saw the
place yesterday. I wanna take it.
305
00:21:42,956 --> 00:21:44,772
That's fantastic!
306
00:21:44,796 --> 00:21:48,732
Uh... Oh, I see you're still
on a 4.2. Is that, um...
307
00:21:48,756 --> 00:21:52,652
Yep, I'm on it, just gonna
transfer the deposit now.
308
00:21:52,676 --> 00:21:54,358
- Well, okay.
- Yes!
309
00:21:55,533 --> 00:22:00,356
In this world, we're all so
caught up in our own heads.
310
00:22:02,036 --> 00:22:07,436
It's easy to lose sight of
what's real. What matters.
311
00:22:09,756 --> 00:22:11,956
But as I stand here today...
312
00:22:12,996 --> 00:22:18,316
seeing the joy Paul has
brought to Naomi's life,
313
00:22:20,396 --> 00:22:24,036
I know she's someone
who truly matters to me.
314
00:22:24,916 --> 00:22:26,116
[laughs]
315
00:22:26,676 --> 00:22:28,236
Nay-Nay,
316
00:22:28,756 --> 00:22:34,532
the little girl who, when we were
just five-years-old in art camp,
317
00:22:34,556 --> 00:22:39,756
started talking to me
because she saw I was scared.
318
00:22:41,716 --> 00:22:47,716
The girl who helped me make
Mr. Rags. I still have him. [giggles]
319
00:22:48,996 --> 00:22:50,956
He sits on my desk and...
320
00:22:52,196 --> 00:22:55,676
every day, he reminds me of Nay-Nay.
321
00:22:57,836 --> 00:23:01,436
What she meant to me then and now.
322
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:06,636
I am so honored to be here
323
00:23:08,076 --> 00:23:13,796
and I wish you all the happiness
this stupid world can muster.
324
00:23:16,516 --> 00:23:18,716
I love you, Nay-Nay.
325
00:23:20,516 --> 00:23:21,996
Is the tear too much?
326
00:23:22,956 --> 00:23:25,972
- You fucking sociopath.
- [phone beeps]
327
00:23:25,996 --> 00:23:31,052
- Ryan, my car's here. Was it too much?
- What, the tear, the photo, Mr. Rags?
328
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:33,012
I do keep him on my desk.
329
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,932
There's sugary and then
there's fucking diabetes.
330
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:38,812
I just wanna make her
happy on her wedding day.
331
00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:41,812
The captive audience of 4-point
holies five-starring your ass off,
332
00:23:41,836 --> 00:23:42,972
that's just a bonus.
333
00:23:42,996 --> 00:23:46,332
- Naomi and I were best friends.
- [laughing] Come on...
334
00:23:46,356 --> 00:23:49,292
I wish her well and wanna
express it the best I can.
335
00:23:49,316 --> 00:23:51,812
And, yeah, if I nail a speech
and get five-starred
336
00:23:51,836 --> 00:23:54,292
by hundreds of primes, so what?
It's a win-win.
337
00:23:54,316 --> 00:23:58,577
What are you hoping for? Like, 4.3, 4.4?
338
00:23:58,602 --> 00:24:01,658
Unh-unh. You get points
from your gaming buddies.
339
00:24:01,682 --> 00:24:04,338
It's the same thing.
Don't shit on me for aiming higher.
340
00:24:04,362 --> 00:24:05,658
Pelican Cove higher?
341
00:24:05,682 --> 00:24:08,578
What's wrong with Pelican Cove?
They're great apartments!
342
00:24:08,602 --> 00:24:11,578
- They are fake-smile jail cells.
- [phone beeps]
343
00:24:11,602 --> 00:24:13,642
Great. Car cancelled.
344
00:24:13,780 --> 00:24:17,121
And he marked me down so now I have
to book another, and I took a ding.
345
00:24:17,196 --> 00:24:20,892
- Great job.
- I am sorry, but I miss the normal you.
346
00:24:20,916 --> 00:24:25,012
Before this obsession, when we
had conversations, remember?
347
00:24:25,036 --> 00:24:26,092
I need my charger.
348
00:24:26,116 --> 00:24:30,612
This whole ranking thing, just
comparing yourself to people who...
349
00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:33,852
- Have you seen my charger?
- ...only pretend to be happy.
350
00:24:33,876 --> 00:24:36,636
I said don't borrow this!
351
00:24:37,196 --> 00:24:40,892
High fours like Naomi,
I bet they're suicidal on the inside.
352
00:24:40,916 --> 00:24:42,612
My car is here. Again.
353
00:24:42,636 --> 00:24:44,812
Your Pelican Cove deposit,
is it refundable?
354
00:24:44,836 --> 00:24:46,292
Like, what if this doesn't work?
355
00:24:46,316 --> 00:24:49,332
- Can't you just stay out of my shit?
- You're my sister!
356
00:24:49,356 --> 00:24:52,172
Yes! And if you cared about that,
maybe you would've noticed
357
00:24:52,196 --> 00:24:56,116
living with you hasn't been one
big rainbow sandwich for me.
358
00:24:57,076 --> 00:24:59,852
Do you know why I never
brought any guys back here?
359
00:24:59,876 --> 00:25:03,412
Because I didn't want them to know
I was sharing a skanky-ass cave
360
00:25:03,436 --> 00:25:06,476
with Mr. Three Point Fuck.
361
00:25:08,236 --> 00:25:09,916
Good luck with your performance!
362
00:25:14,236 --> 00:25:15,368
[door closes]
363
00:25:22,516 --> 00:25:23,556
[door opens]
364
00:25:28,716 --> 00:25:29,772
[grunts]
365
00:25:29,796 --> 00:25:30,972
[phone beeps]
366
00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:31,956
[door slams]
367
00:25:34,236 --> 00:25:36,756
- [door rattles]
- [phone beeps]
368
00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:45,956
- [horn honks]
- Oh, hi, hi! I'm coming. I'm coming.
369
00:25:47,116 --> 00:25:49,492
- Jesus Christ!
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
370
00:25:49,516 --> 00:25:51,556
That's great. Just great.
371
00:25:53,196 --> 00:25:55,036
[phone beeps]
372
00:25:56,076 --> 00:25:57,556
- [sighs]
- [horn honks]
373
00:25:57,956 --> 00:25:59,636
Oh... Hi.
374
00:26:05,756 --> 00:26:07,396
[ringtone chimes]
375
00:26:10,116 --> 00:26:12,852
Nay-Nay! [giggles]
376
00:26:12,876 --> 00:26:14,972
Hey, Lace! Just checking in.
377
00:26:14,996 --> 00:26:18,172
I'm on my way to the
airport right now. [giggles]
378
00:26:18,196 --> 00:26:20,532
Okay, cool, and you're all
good for the rehearsal dinner?
379
00:26:20,556 --> 00:26:25,412
Oh, yeah. The flight's, what, an hour?
That restaurant looks so cool.
380
00:26:25,436 --> 00:26:29,332
- Uh-huh. And you got the dress okay?
- Mm-hmm. In my case. [giggles]
381
00:26:29,356 --> 00:26:30,692
- I love the pink.
- Uh-huh.
382
00:26:30,716 --> 00:26:34,772
So the latest draft of
the speech is great.
383
00:26:34,796 --> 00:26:36,812
Going handwritten's so cool.
384
00:26:36,836 --> 00:26:40,452
Those scans of the page, my God,
I welled up just at that.
385
00:26:40,476 --> 00:26:43,996
- Oh, thank you!
- Um... just one thought.
386
00:26:44,596 --> 00:26:47,132
That whole bit where I help you
with the eating disorder thing...
387
00:26:47,156 --> 00:26:49,372
- You think that's a little...
- A little over-sharing, yeah.
388
00:26:49,396 --> 00:26:51,412
You're so right. It's gone.
389
00:26:51,436 --> 00:26:54,372
Okay. Cool. Well, I'll
see you in a few hours!
390
00:26:54,396 --> 00:26:56,332
 I'm getting married tomorrow 
391
00:26:56,356 --> 00:26:57,692
[screams]
392
00:26:57,716 --> 00:26:59,276
[laughs]
393
00:27:09,516 --> 00:27:13,201
And here's your tip.
[giggles] Thank you.
394
00:27:13,226 --> 00:27:14,665
[phone beeps]
395
00:27:16,316 --> 00:27:18,116
Oh, come on.
396
00:27:19,156 --> 00:27:21,596
[woman on loudspeaker] May I
have your attention, please...
397
00:27:29,262 --> 00:27:32,518
- Hi there, how are you doing?
- I am wonderful.
398
00:27:32,796 --> 00:27:33,836
[laughs]
399
00:27:35,396 --> 00:27:38,356
I am so sorry, that flight is cancelled.
400
00:27:39,156 --> 00:27:42,796
- No. No, no, no.
- Customer incident at the other end.
401
00:27:43,436 --> 00:27:46,252
But... So when is the next flight?
402
00:27:46,276 --> 00:27:49,332
Yeah, they're all kind of full.
403
00:27:49,356 --> 00:27:53,012
Uh... I booked this weeks ago.
It's my best friend's wedding.
404
00:27:53,036 --> 00:27:55,172
- I'm sorry.
- I have to get there. I have to.
405
00:27:55,196 --> 00:27:57,092
Okay... let's see what we can do.
406
00:27:57,116 --> 00:27:59,156
Thank you. Thank you so much.
407
00:28:06,038 --> 00:28:08,812
I see there's one standby seat
on another plane leaving tonight.
408
00:28:08,836 --> 00:28:10,436
- [sighs]
- Uh...
409
00:28:11,396 --> 00:28:14,092
That's reserved for members
of our Prime Flight Programme.
410
00:28:14,116 --> 00:28:16,092
You gotta be a 4.2 or over to qualify.
411
00:28:16,116 --> 00:28:18,452
- Oh, I'm... I'm a 4.2.
- Uh-huh.
412
00:28:18,476 --> 00:28:21,807
I'm afraid you're actually a 4.183.
413
00:28:24,756 --> 00:28:27,892
Oh. Well, that's not my fault. Um...
414
00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:30,532
Some woman dinged me
down in the... Can't you just...
415
00:28:30,556 --> 00:28:33,052
I'm sorry, it won't let me book
it without the correct ranking.
416
00:28:33,076 --> 00:28:35,172
- But it's so close.
- There's just nothing I can do.
417
00:28:35,196 --> 00:28:36,932
- Christ, I mean, surely.
- I'm gonna have to ask you
418
00:28:36,956 --> 00:28:39,012
to moderate your language there.
419
00:28:39,036 --> 00:28:40,356
Sorry. It's just...
420
00:28:42,316 --> 00:28:46,372
I'm maid of honour.
I cannot miss this wedding.
421
00:28:46,396 --> 00:28:49,316
And I am so sorry about that.
422
00:28:52,476 --> 00:28:54,212
- Can you call the supervisor?
- I cannot do that.
423
00:28:54,236 --> 00:28:55,852
- Can you just call the supervisor?
- I cannot do that.
424
00:28:55,876 --> 00:28:57,772
- Call the fucking supervisor!
- Okay, that's profanity.
425
00:28:57,796 --> 00:29:00,452
- We're zero tolerance on profanity.
- I'm sorry. It's just...
426
00:29:00,476 --> 00:29:02,772
- I have to serve the next customer.
- No, no, no, no.
427
00:29:02,796 --> 00:29:05,972
- Can you step away, ma'am?
- God, just fucking help me!
428
00:29:05,996 --> 00:29:07,052
Ooh.
429
00:29:07,076 --> 00:29:09,052
[phones beep]
430
00:29:09,076 --> 00:29:10,396
I'm so sorry.
431
00:29:11,196 --> 00:29:15,532
- I've called security.
- Oh, no, no, no. Please don't do that.
432
00:29:15,557 --> 00:29:18,872
I'm, uh... five-starring you. Five stars.
433
00:29:18,896 --> 00:29:21,092
- What's the issue here, Hannah?
- Intimidation and profanity.
434
00:29:21,116 --> 00:29:23,492
- Oh, no, no. I was not intimidating.
- Don't speak, ma'am.
435
00:29:23,516 --> 00:29:25,236
- I was just trying to...
- Ma'am.
436
00:29:27,076 --> 00:29:29,892
Okay. So, in order to restore calm,
437
00:29:29,916 --> 00:29:32,212
I'm invoking my authority
as airport security
438
00:29:32,236 --> 00:29:35,212
to dock you one full ranking
point as a punitive measure.
439
00:29:35,236 --> 00:29:37,132
- This is a temporary measure.
- [gasps] No!
440
00:29:37,156 --> 00:29:38,884
Your score reverts
to normal in 24 hours.
441
00:29:38,909 --> 00:29:39,852
No, no, no. But I need it now.
442
00:29:39,876 --> 00:29:43,372
During this period, all down votes
are subject to a times two multiplier.
443
00:29:43,396 --> 00:29:44,492
Times two?
444
00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:46,572
We recommend you avoid
negative feedback at this time.
445
00:29:46,596 --> 00:29:47,652
I'm on double damage?
446
00:29:47,676 --> 00:29:51,850
Please, remove yourself
from the airport immediately.
447
00:30:07,756 --> 00:30:09,436
[phone beeps]
448
00:30:14,516 --> 00:30:16,092
Okay, well, due to your ranking...
449
00:30:16,116 --> 00:30:18,116
[chattering]
450
00:30:19,756 --> 00:30:22,236
[baby crying]
451
00:30:37,996 --> 00:30:40,972
Hi there. Chuck! Great name.
452
00:30:40,996 --> 00:30:43,812
- Thank you.
- Hope you're having a great night.
453
00:30:43,836 --> 00:30:46,572
- It's pretty good.
- So I need a car.
454
00:30:46,596 --> 00:30:49,732
- You got a vehicle in mind?
- Anything, really.
455
00:30:49,756 --> 00:30:52,452
Well, due to your current ranking,
456
00:30:52,476 --> 00:30:55,292
you're restricted to
our super saver fleet.
457
00:30:55,316 --> 00:30:58,252
- Yep. That's... Yeah.
- I-Cruiser 2?
458
00:30:58,276 --> 00:31:00,276
They still have the 2?
459
00:31:11,676 --> 00:31:12,956
[alarm beeps]
460
00:31:20,116 --> 00:31:22,796
[beeping]
461
00:31:24,036 --> 00:31:27,452
- [woman speaking driver alert in Czech]
- Oh, God.
462
00:31:27,476 --> 00:31:32,692
[woman repeating driver alert in Czech]
463
00:31:32,716 --> 00:31:34,052
[beep, wipers creaking]
464
00:31:34,076 --> 00:31:39,556
[woman repeating driver alert in Czech]
465
00:31:44,476 --> 00:31:47,052
- [music on TV]
- Oh, come on.
466
00:31:47,076 --> 00:31:48,852
Uh...
467
00:31:48,876 --> 00:31:52,732
[men speaking Czech on TV]
468
00:31:52,756 --> 00:31:55,756
- [beeping]
- Damn it!
469
00:31:56,556 --> 00:31:57,892
[laughs]
470
00:31:57,916 --> 00:31:59,476
[sighs]
471
00:32:06,716 --> 00:32:09,076
[Czech dialogue continues]
472
00:32:12,036 --> 00:32:13,372
[engine sputters]
473
00:32:13,396 --> 00:32:15,316
[engine starts]
474
00:32:17,316 --> 00:32:21,756
The little girl, who when we were
both five years old in art camp,
475
00:32:21,876 --> 00:32:25,796
[sobs] started talking to me
because she saw I was scared.
476
00:32:27,316 --> 00:32:30,676
The girl who helped me make Mr. Rags...
477
00:32:33,476 --> 00:32:38,372
Teardrop. Crowd goes wild. You can do this.
478
00:32:38,396 --> 00:32:40,836
- [ringtone plays]
- [woman speaking Czech]
479
00:32:44,116 --> 00:32:48,156
- Sorry, okay, I swear I'm on my way.
- [Naomi] How far away are you?
480
00:32:48,876 --> 00:32:52,732
Uh... Quite a ways. I missed my flight.
481
00:32:52,756 --> 00:32:55,332
- What?
- Well, not missed it but...
482
00:32:55,356 --> 00:32:57,196
So you're not gonna make
the rehearsal dinner?
483
00:32:58,236 --> 00:32:59,612
- No.
- Lacie!
484
00:32:59,636 --> 00:33:02,476
I am so sorry. It's been... [groans]
485
00:33:02,996 --> 00:33:05,492
I got a rental car. I'm driving.
486
00:33:05,516 --> 00:33:09,412
Driving? That's like nine hours.
487
00:33:09,436 --> 00:33:10,812
I'm making good time,
488
00:33:10,836 --> 00:33:14,332
gonna go through the night,
make a road trip out of it. [laughs]
489
00:33:14,356 --> 00:33:15,716
Is everything okay?
490
00:33:16,396 --> 00:33:18,532
I can find a replacement
if something's wrong.
491
00:33:18,556 --> 00:33:21,532
No. No. No. I'll be there.
I swear on Mr. Rags.
492
00:33:21,556 --> 00:33:23,012
Ha ha ha!
493
00:33:23,036 --> 00:33:25,132
Okay, just drive safe!
494
00:33:25,156 --> 00:33:26,812
- [girls squealing]
- You bet. I'll just...
495
00:33:26,836 --> 00:33:27,956
[phone beeping]
496
00:33:32,756 --> 00:33:34,276
[phone beeps]
497
00:33:35,876 --> 00:33:37,276
Come on.
498
00:33:39,676 --> 00:33:40,852
Come on.
499
00:33:40,876 --> 00:33:42,156
Please.
500
00:33:43,996 --> 00:33:46,316
- [phone beeps]
- [sighs]
501
00:33:48,796 --> 00:33:49,876
Okay.
502
00:34:07,596 --> 00:34:10,716
[yawns]
503
00:34:13,796 --> 00:34:16,612
[woman speaking Czech]
504
00:34:16,636 --> 00:34:20,252
- What do you want?
- [woman speaking Czech]
505
00:34:20,276 --> 00:34:21,916
[beeping]
506
00:34:22,796 --> 00:34:24,932
[woman speaking Czech]
507
00:34:24,956 --> 00:34:28,916
- Oh, shit.
- [woman's speaking tempo slows]
508
00:35:01,076 --> 00:35:03,036
Hi. Sorry.
509
00:35:04,076 --> 00:35:06,396
[woman moaning]
510
00:35:07,716 --> 00:35:09,876
Your charger doesn't fit my car.
511
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:15,516
- Don't see those around much these days.
- It's a rental.
512
00:35:17,356 --> 00:35:21,556
Ours chargers are Q2Z, yours one's a K1.
They didn't give you an adapter?
513
00:35:22,116 --> 00:35:25,316
No. Do you have one?
514
00:35:27,271 --> 00:35:31,132
- Not in here. Ask around.
- Thanks, anyway.
515
00:35:31,156 --> 00:35:33,196
You're super helpful.
516
00:35:36,276 --> 00:35:37,396
[phone beeps]
517
00:35:39,636 --> 00:35:41,596
[phone beeps]
518
00:35:43,236 --> 00:35:44,716
[gasps]
519
00:35:45,756 --> 00:35:46,996
Two stars?!
520
00:35:48,036 --> 00:35:49,332
Two stars?
521
00:35:49,356 --> 00:35:51,476
Wasn't a meaningful encounter.
522
00:35:55,076 --> 00:35:56,972
[Lacie] Sir, excuse me.
523
00:35:56,996 --> 00:35:58,732
Excuse me, sorry.
524
00:35:58,756 --> 00:36:02,436
Do you have a K1 adapter, by any chance?
525
00:36:03,556 --> 00:36:08,156
Ma'am, how about you, a K1 adapter,
perhaps, in the trunk of your car?
526
00:36:09,356 --> 00:36:10,585
Sure.
527
00:36:12,076 --> 00:36:13,156
Great.
528
00:36:13,756 --> 00:36:17,876
Oh, ma'am, hi. Do you have a K1 adapter?
529
00:36:18,436 --> 00:36:21,196
I have a rental car. It's...
530
00:36:23,436 --> 00:36:25,436
[grunting]
531
00:37:06,596 --> 00:37:10,996
- Slow down. Let's give her a ride.
- [man] She's, like, 2.8.
532
00:37:11,756 --> 00:37:12,932
[phone beeps]
533
00:37:12,956 --> 00:37:14,196
Come on!
534
00:37:17,516 --> 00:37:19,316
[phone beeps]
535
00:37:21,316 --> 00:37:23,036
I didn't even do anything!
536
00:37:43,236 --> 00:37:45,436
You look like you need a ride.
537
00:37:46,676 --> 00:37:48,292
Um...
538
00:37:48,316 --> 00:37:51,116
Actually, I'm okay.
539
00:37:53,716 --> 00:37:58,756
Don't look it. Come on. I don't bite.
540
00:38:01,636 --> 00:38:06,132
Luther, Mrs. Coffee, reds,
whiskey. Help yourself.
541
00:38:06,156 --> 00:38:07,996
I'm okay. Thanks.
542
00:38:09,036 --> 00:38:10,492
Where are you headed?
543
00:38:10,516 --> 00:38:15,316
Uh... Just as close as you can get
to Port Mary would be great. [laughs]
544
00:38:24,036 --> 00:38:26,836
Checking my feed for danger signs?
545
00:38:28,996 --> 00:38:33,916
I get it a lot. 1.4 gotta be
an antisocial maniac, right?
546
00:38:34,716 --> 00:38:37,252
- You seem...
- Normal?
547
00:38:37,276 --> 00:38:39,476
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
548
00:38:41,076 --> 00:38:45,556
It took some effort.
What happened to you?
549
00:38:46,076 --> 00:38:50,372
I mean, you're a 2.8,
but you don't look 2.8.
550
00:38:50,396 --> 00:38:52,052
That's not... This is temporary.
551
00:38:52,076 --> 00:38:54,252
- I'm gonna turn it around.
- Uh-huh.
552
00:38:54,276 --> 00:38:57,492
- I'm going to a wedding. Maid of honour.
- Nice.
553
00:38:57,516 --> 00:38:59,076
Wanna hear my speech?
554
00:38:59,916 --> 00:39:00,876
No.
555
00:39:04,596 --> 00:39:06,932
So how come you're a 2.8?
556
00:39:06,956 --> 00:39:10,452
Well, I got marked down
at the airport for yelling,
557
00:39:10,476 --> 00:39:13,132
and they put me on double damage.
558
00:39:13,156 --> 00:39:16,316
- How did it feel?
- Awful.
559
00:39:17,196 --> 00:39:18,636
I meant the yelling.
560
00:39:20,356 --> 00:39:22,556
I don't know. I was mad.
561
00:39:23,436 --> 00:39:25,636
Look at where it got me.
562
00:39:26,916 --> 00:39:30,852
But as long as I get to the
wedding, do the speech,
563
00:39:30,876 --> 00:39:33,332
they'll overlook the
2.8. I'm with the bride.
564
00:39:33,356 --> 00:39:35,412
And if I do well, well,
they're all high fours
565
00:39:35,436 --> 00:39:36,692
so that velocitates my arc.
566
00:39:36,716 --> 00:39:40,372
And once they lift the point penalty,
well, my average goes way up,
567
00:39:40,396 --> 00:39:42,956
and, yeah, it's gonna be okay.
568
00:39:46,196 --> 00:39:48,292
God, you remind me of me.
569
00:39:48,316 --> 00:39:50,756
- Hmm.
- Not now.
570
00:39:52,636 --> 00:39:56,316
I was, uh... 4.6 once.
571
00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:01,116
- 4.6?
- Used to live for it.
572
00:40:02,396 --> 00:40:04,716
All the work I put in...
573
00:40:07,596 --> 00:40:10,932
Eight years ago, Tom,
my husband, got cancer.
574
00:40:10,956 --> 00:40:16,196
It was pancreatic. It was a real bitch.
The symptoms showed up late.
575
00:40:17,236 --> 00:40:18,756
I'm so sorry.
576
00:40:19,956 --> 00:40:22,252
You don't know me so
you're not really sorry.
577
00:40:22,276 --> 00:40:26,516
You're just mainly awkward cos I
have sprung some cancer talk at you.
578
00:40:27,636 --> 00:40:30,132
Anyway, I five-starred every doctor,
579
00:40:30,156 --> 00:40:34,772
every nurse, every high-four
consultant that we had.
580
00:40:34,796 --> 00:40:36,612
Ding. Ding. Ding. Thank you so much.
581
00:40:36,636 --> 00:40:39,356
The cancer didn't give a shit.
It just kept growing.
582
00:40:40,436 --> 00:40:44,532
A couple of months in, we heard
about this experimental treatment.
583
00:40:44,556 --> 00:40:48,236
It was very expensive.
It was very exclusive.
584
00:40:49,276 --> 00:40:53,236
I did everything I could
to get him a spot there.
585
00:40:54,556 --> 00:40:57,716
Tom was a 4.3.
586
00:40:59,676 --> 00:41:02,196
They gave his bed to a 4.4.
587
00:41:07,196 --> 00:41:11,356
So when he died I thought, fuck it.
588
00:41:13,076 --> 00:41:15,812
I started saying what I wanted,
when I wanted.
589
00:41:15,836 --> 00:41:17,316
Just drop it out there.
590
00:41:18,396 --> 00:41:19,876
People don't always like that.
591
00:41:20,836 --> 00:41:24,212
It is incredible how fast
you slip off the ladder
592
00:41:24,236 --> 00:41:25,972
when you start doing that.
593
00:41:25,996 --> 00:41:30,516
It turned out a lot of my
friends didn't care for honesty.
594
00:41:32,596 --> 00:41:36,892
Treated me like I had taken a
shit at their breakfast table.
595
00:41:36,916 --> 00:41:40,972
But, Jesus Christ, it felt good.
596
00:41:40,996 --> 00:41:43,476
Shedding those fuckers.
597
00:41:44,556 --> 00:41:47,236
It was like taking off tight shoes.
598
00:41:47,716 --> 00:41:50,972
- Maybe you should try it?
- Oh, come on. [laughs]
599
00:41:50,996 --> 00:41:52,332
Why not?
600
00:41:52,356 --> 00:41:57,052
I can't just kick off my shoes
and walk the earth or whatever.
601
00:41:57,076 --> 00:42:00,436
- You won't know unless you try.
- Oh, that's just...
602
00:42:02,796 --> 00:42:05,812
Look, you had something with your life,
603
00:42:05,836 --> 00:42:11,572
real things, good things,
and you lost it all, and I'm sorry.
604
00:42:11,596 --> 00:42:16,212
So now you've got nothing left to lose.
605
00:42:16,236 --> 00:42:19,132
But I don't even have the
something worth losing, not yet.
606
00:42:19,156 --> 00:42:22,596
You know, I mean,
I'm still fighting for that.
607
00:42:24,436 --> 00:42:29,796
- And what is "that"?
- I don't know. Enough to be content?
608
00:42:30,876 --> 00:42:36,156
Like, to look around and think,
well, I guess I'm okay.
609
00:42:36,916 --> 00:42:41,756
Just to be able to breathe out,
not feeling like... like...
610
00:42:43,076 --> 00:42:49,172
Like just... And that is
way off, like, way, way off.
611
00:42:49,196 --> 00:42:52,036
And until I get there, I have
to play the numbers game.
612
00:42:52,676 --> 00:42:56,836
We all do, that's what we're in.
That's how the fucking world works.
613
00:42:58,396 --> 00:43:02,876
Look, maybe you don't remember,
you know, you're just too old to get it.
614
00:43:04,956 --> 00:43:06,956
I do not mean that how it sounds.
615
00:43:09,276 --> 00:43:11,996
Don't worry. I'm not voting you down.
616
00:43:36,716 --> 00:43:40,172
- Sweetheart.
- [gasps] What time is it?
617
00:43:40,196 --> 00:43:44,492
I'm heading east from here so I think
you need to get yourself another ride.
618
00:43:44,516 --> 00:43:47,652
- Where are we?
- About 30 miles from Port Mary.
619
00:43:47,676 --> 00:43:50,972
A lot of buses stop here
so you should be fine.
620
00:43:50,996 --> 00:43:54,292
- Well, thank you.
- Good luck with your speech.
621
00:43:54,316 --> 00:43:55,916
[laughs]
622
00:43:56,836 --> 00:43:59,692
I put a little something in there for you.
623
00:43:59,716 --> 00:44:03,272
- You did?
- Emergency escape hatch!
624
00:44:06,556 --> 00:44:07,476
Bye.
625
00:44:22,236 --> 00:44:25,572
[Lacie] In this world,
we're all so caught up...
626
00:44:25,596 --> 00:44:27,812
- [door opens]
- ...in our own dramas.
627
00:44:27,836 --> 00:44:31,052
- [girl] So, Dad was like...
- It's easy to forget what matters.
628
00:44:31,076 --> 00:44:32,651
[girl] He'd never even heard of the show.
629
00:44:32,675 --> 00:44:34,692
I'm like, "You never heard of
Sea of Tranquillity?"
630
00:44:34,716 --> 00:44:37,412
Like, the number-one sci-fi fantasy,
631
00:44:37,436 --> 00:44:39,412
and he's all like,
"What the fuck?" Whatever!
632
00:44:39,436 --> 00:44:41,652
I think I'm allergic to this purple.
633
00:44:41,676 --> 00:44:44,972
So I'm like, "Well, I'm going
to Tranquillity Con in Port Mary.
634
00:44:44,996 --> 00:44:47,652
That's why I'm dressed
like Lieutenant Duster."
635
00:44:47,676 --> 00:44:50,572
He's all like, "Uh...
Port Mary is frickin' miles away."
636
00:44:50,596 --> 00:44:51,692
Yadda, yadda, yadda.
637
00:44:51,716 --> 00:44:56,572
- [toilet flushes]
- He one-stars me. Like, thanks, Dad.
638
00:44:56,596 --> 00:44:59,996
- [girl 1] See you back on there.
- [girl 2] Okay.
639
00:45:03,676 --> 00:45:07,652
Are you guys headed to Tranquillity Con?
640
00:45:07,676 --> 00:45:10,692
- You're into Sea of Tranquillity?
- Totally.
641
00:45:10,716 --> 00:45:12,292
I was all set to go.
642
00:45:12,316 --> 00:45:18,036
My friend, who is there already,
has my costume, but my car broke down.
643
00:45:18,716 --> 00:45:21,396
Well, there's some space in the RV.
644
00:45:30,356 --> 00:45:32,412
- Hi.
- Hey!
645
00:45:32,436 --> 00:45:34,572
- You're a Trank head, huh?
- Sorry?
646
00:45:34,596 --> 00:45:36,892
Trank head. Sea of Tranquillity fan?
647
00:45:36,916 --> 00:45:40,532
Oh, yeah. We say Tranksters where I'm from.
648
00:45:40,556 --> 00:45:44,172
- Who's your favourite character?
- Gotta be Lieutenant Duster.
649
00:45:44,196 --> 00:45:46,012
- She's awesome.
- She?
650
00:45:46,036 --> 00:45:48,292
He! I misspoke.
651
00:45:48,316 --> 00:45:51,052
Lieutenant Duster has no fixed gender.
652
00:45:51,076 --> 00:45:54,652
I know, and that's why it's
so hard to remember, right?
653
00:45:54,676 --> 00:45:56,692
- [ringtone playing]
- Excuse me. Gotta get this.
654
00:45:56,716 --> 00:45:59,396
My friend, at the convention. [giggles]
655
00:46:01,636 --> 00:46:03,532
Hi, Nay! [laughs]
656
00:46:03,556 --> 00:46:08,892
So, oh, my God, insane night,
but I am so close now.
657
00:46:08,916 --> 00:46:10,492
[Naomi] Don't come.
658
00:46:10,516 --> 00:46:14,092
What? No. No. I'm, like, an hour away.
659
00:46:14,116 --> 00:46:16,132
Don't come. I don't want you here.
660
00:46:16,156 --> 00:46:19,732
I don't know what is up with you,
but I cannot have a 2.6 at my wedding.
661
00:46:19,756 --> 00:46:23,092
Oh, no, that's temporary!
That's temporary.
662
00:46:23,116 --> 00:46:25,412
Well, the wedding's today so...
663
00:46:25,436 --> 00:46:27,972
- But it doesn't change anything.
- Lacie...
664
00:46:27,996 --> 00:46:30,172
- I can still do the same speech.
- Lacie...
665
00:46:30,196 --> 00:46:33,492
- And there's Mr. Rags!
- No!
666
00:46:33,516 --> 00:46:36,172
But... But you invited me.
667
00:46:36,196 --> 00:46:38,852
You've seen the guest list.
They are all, like, 4.5 or above.
668
00:46:38,876 --> 00:46:42,292
They are going to freak at a 2.6,
and I am not taking that kind of damage,
669
00:46:42,316 --> 00:46:44,956
plus I haven't dipped under
a 4.7 in, like, six months.
670
00:46:46,516 --> 00:46:50,012
You said you wanted your oldest friend.
671
00:46:50,036 --> 00:46:53,172
When I asked you to speak,
you were a 4.2, okay?
672
00:46:53,196 --> 00:46:56,572
And the authenticity of a vintage bond
low four at a gathering of this calibre
673
00:46:56,596 --> 00:46:59,612
played fantastically on all
the stimulations we ran.
674
00:46:59,636 --> 00:47:01,892
Forecast was a prestige
bounce of 2 minimum.
675
00:47:01,916 --> 00:47:05,492
But now you're a sub three. Sorry.
676
00:47:05,516 --> 00:47:07,212
That just puts the stink on
things a little too much.
677
00:47:07,236 --> 00:47:09,412
That just plays badly for us.
678
00:47:09,436 --> 00:47:11,892
So it was just about numbers for you?
679
00:47:11,916 --> 00:47:15,052
Oh, cut the shit! It was
numbers for both of us.
680
00:47:15,076 --> 00:47:17,012
You wanted those
primo votes, don't deny it.
681
00:47:17,036 --> 00:47:20,092
It's not like you could get them on
your own. Let's not kid ourselves.
682
00:47:20,116 --> 00:47:22,532
Oh, I'm... I'm getting those votes.
683
00:47:22,556 --> 00:47:25,892
What? You're just gonna roll up
here and make people like you?
684
00:47:25,916 --> 00:47:30,572
- That's right. I'm doing my speech.
- No, you're not.
685
00:47:30,596 --> 00:47:35,012
Yes, I am. And they are gonna vote me
through the roof when they hear it.
686
00:47:35,036 --> 00:47:40,092
- Weep their fucking eyes out!
- Go home!
687
00:47:40,116 --> 00:47:43,132
- [phone beeping]
- Hello?
688
00:47:43,156 --> 00:47:45,716
[sighs] Fuck!
689
00:47:48,436 --> 00:47:51,556
I have never seen
your stupid fucking show.
690
00:47:52,156 --> 00:47:53,316
[tyres screech]
691
00:47:57,316 --> 00:47:59,956
[shouts] Hope they cancel it!
692
00:48:11,156 --> 00:48:13,556
- [horn honks]
- I need a ride!
693
00:48:14,556 --> 00:48:16,132
[shouts]
694
00:48:16,156 --> 00:48:18,796
- [phone beeping]
- Fuck!
695
00:48:22,436 --> 00:48:23,916
Jesus!
696
00:48:27,516 --> 00:48:29,196
[engine roars]
697
00:48:39,836 --> 00:48:41,996
Hey! Hey!
698
00:48:42,596 --> 00:48:43,636
Hey!
699
00:48:45,596 --> 00:48:48,052
- Can I borrow your bike?
- What?
700
00:48:48,076 --> 00:48:51,252
Can I borrow your bike?
701
00:48:51,276 --> 00:48:56,252
Do you, Naomi Jayne Blestow,
take this man to be your husband,
702
00:48:56,276 --> 00:48:59,196
to live together with him
in the covenant of marriage?
703
00:49:00,116 --> 00:49:02,212
To love him, comfort him,
704
00:49:02,236 --> 00:49:05,892
honour and keep him,
in sickness and in health...
705
00:49:05,916 --> 00:49:09,316
and forsaking all others,
be faithful unto him...
706
00:49:18,796 --> 00:49:21,276
[cheering and applause]
707
00:49:36,356 --> 00:49:38,476
[indistinct radio chatter]
708
00:49:43,236 --> 00:49:44,476
[revs engine]
709
00:49:51,476 --> 00:49:52,876
[screams]
710
00:50:11,836 --> 00:50:14,092
[applause]
711
00:50:14,116 --> 00:50:17,212
To my best mate, Anthony.
Let's hear it for him.
712
00:50:17,236 --> 00:50:18,812
[cheering]
713
00:50:18,836 --> 00:50:22,292
You've been there from day one.
I love you, man. I appreciate you.
714
00:50:22,316 --> 00:50:25,852
Hilarious speech, by the way.
By your standards.
715
00:50:25,876 --> 00:50:27,172
[laughter]
716
00:50:27,196 --> 00:50:30,092
- Pow! Pow! Pow!
- Oh! Oh! Oh! [laughs]
717
00:50:30,116 --> 00:50:33,772
[Paul] He's still got a few
bullets left. Oh, man.
718
00:50:33,796 --> 00:50:35,836
Oh, gosh, well, um...
719
00:50:38,556 --> 00:50:39,996
[gasps] Shit!
720
00:50:40,556 --> 00:50:44,532
[Paul] We have so many people to
thank. Our beautiful bridesmaids.
721
00:50:44,556 --> 00:50:46,412
- [cheering]
- But, of course,
722
00:50:46,436 --> 00:50:51,492
my most heartfelt thanks,
my warmest thanks,
723
00:50:51,516 --> 00:50:54,796
are to someone who's my best friend,
724
00:50:56,076 --> 00:51:02,972
my lover and now,
I'm honoured to say, my wife.
725
00:51:02,996 --> 00:51:05,516
- Naomi!
- [cheering and whooping]
726
00:51:07,756 --> 00:51:12,836
- [cheering]
- [Paul] One, two, three! Naomi!
727
00:51:14,316 --> 00:51:17,172
- [man] The A Team!
- [phone beeps]
728
00:51:17,196 --> 00:51:18,612
I love you so much, darl.
729
00:51:18,636 --> 00:51:20,212
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!
730
00:51:20,236 --> 00:51:22,252
[man] Congratulations, sir.
731
00:51:22,276 --> 00:51:24,132
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.
732
00:51:24,156 --> 00:51:26,292
- [whooping]
- Get over here!
733
00:51:26,316 --> 00:51:27,892
Get your ass over here.
734
00:51:27,916 --> 00:51:30,572
- Get in here, big boy.
- [phones beep]
735
00:51:30,596 --> 00:51:32,636
- You're beautiful!
- [cheering]
736
00:51:34,596 --> 00:51:37,572
Yeah! Gimme five! Good choice!
737
00:51:37,596 --> 00:51:39,996
You fucking earned it, man.
You fucking earned it.
738
00:51:41,516 --> 00:51:42,756
[giggles nervously]
739
00:51:44,396 --> 00:51:46,212
Everybody, hello!
740
00:51:46,236 --> 00:51:48,276
- Oh, my God.
- I love you.
741
00:51:52,276 --> 00:51:56,076
Can everyone be quiet for a moment?
742
00:51:58,196 --> 00:51:59,796
Thank you. [giggles]
743
00:52:01,156 --> 00:52:03,332
- Get rid of her.
- That would play awful.
744
00:52:03,356 --> 00:52:04,652
She's a fucking 1.1.
745
00:52:04,676 --> 00:52:10,092
Now for those of you who don't
know me, which is... all of you...
746
00:52:10,116 --> 00:52:14,132
my name is Lacie Pound
747
00:52:14,156 --> 00:52:17,996
and, believe it or not,
I am one of Naomi's oldest friends.
748
00:52:18,596 --> 00:52:20,716
Hi, Nay-Nay!
749
00:52:21,996 --> 00:52:25,092
It's great to meet you too, Paul.
I've heard a lot about you.
750
00:52:25,116 --> 00:52:26,972
He's a pretty big deal, that Paul.
751
00:52:26,996 --> 00:52:29,452
- Pretty big deal.
- [camera shutter clicks]
752
00:52:29,476 --> 00:52:33,172
He makes his own tapenade! Yeah.
753
00:52:33,196 --> 00:52:35,196
[laughs] Uh...
754
00:52:37,476 --> 00:52:39,676
Anyway, um... I...
755
00:52:41,356 --> 00:52:45,812
have looked up to Naomi
pretty much my entire life.
756
00:52:45,836 --> 00:52:47,772
We met when we were five years old,
757
00:52:47,796 --> 00:52:51,956
and right up through to our teenage
years, we made quite the pair.
758
00:52:52,676 --> 00:52:54,972
We'd talk about all the
things girls talk about,
759
00:52:54,996 --> 00:53:01,332
you know, boys, hair, products,
uh... more boys. [laughs]
760
00:53:01,356 --> 00:53:04,972
I mean, I tried sometimes
to expand our range a little
761
00:53:04,996 --> 00:53:09,676
and talk about climate change,
but she found that kind of boring so...
762
00:53:10,316 --> 00:53:11,732
Go on.
763
00:53:11,756 --> 00:53:14,652
She was probably right.
I mean, fuck the planet, right?
764
00:53:14,676 --> 00:53:16,252
Whoo!
765
00:53:16,276 --> 00:53:20,772
Yes, thank you! Come on.
Let's have a little fun here.
766
00:53:20,796 --> 00:53:23,372
You know, fuck the planet! [laughs]
767
00:53:23,396 --> 00:53:25,852
- [shouts] Fuck the planet!
- [feedback]
768
00:53:25,876 --> 00:53:27,356
[crockery rattles]
769
00:53:28,676 --> 00:53:30,636
- [phone beeps]
- Anyway...
770
00:53:31,716 --> 00:53:38,732
I... looked up to Naomi
pretty much my entire life,
771
00:53:38,756 --> 00:53:44,036
which meant she was looking down on me.
772
00:53:44,916 --> 00:53:47,932
Always with a smile though. [laughs]
773
00:53:47,956 --> 00:53:52,572
In high school,
she was my shoulder to cry on.
774
00:53:52,596 --> 00:53:57,932
She seemed to enjoy that.
Guys and me never worked out.
775
00:53:57,956 --> 00:54:02,516
They'd see Naomi and just... Whoo!
You know, that was it.
776
00:54:03,396 --> 00:54:09,292
She had this tight ass,
777
00:54:09,316 --> 00:54:12,492
like two fists.
778
00:54:12,516 --> 00:54:14,252
Uh-huh.
779
00:54:14,276 --> 00:54:17,372
[giggles] I was all like...
780
00:54:17,396 --> 00:54:19,516
[giggles]
781
00:54:20,956 --> 00:54:23,492
I was like...
782
00:54:23,516 --> 00:54:25,356
through the hallways in high school.
783
00:54:26,756 --> 00:54:28,916
[cackling]
784
00:54:30,596 --> 00:54:32,196
[phones beep]
785
00:54:36,756 --> 00:54:38,596
[cries]
786
00:54:43,756 --> 00:54:45,476
And she was there for me.
787
00:54:47,916 --> 00:54:49,356
Holding my hair back...
788
00:54:50,996 --> 00:54:56,236
as I knelt, vomiting,
in front of the crapper.
789
00:55:00,836 --> 00:55:04,316
Thank you for that, Naomi.
790
00:55:07,356 --> 00:55:09,236
I always wished I was you.
791
00:55:11,516 --> 00:55:12,796
And...
792
00:55:13,756 --> 00:55:16,116
I guess that's why you
kept me around so long?
793
00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:22,332
Until you got your new job
794
00:55:22,356 --> 00:55:27,316
and your fancy new friends.
795
00:55:29,276 --> 00:55:31,692
And that...
796
00:55:31,716 --> 00:55:33,572
[laughs]
797
00:55:33,596 --> 00:55:36,716
...fucking... jackhole!
798
00:55:37,636 --> 00:55:41,052
And you didn't need me.
You probably got another me.
799
00:55:41,076 --> 00:55:46,492
Guess there's some other "yeth Beth"
you moved on to like a succubus.
800
00:55:46,516 --> 00:55:49,276
- [phones beeping]
- I'm getting to Mr. Rags, okay? Jesus!
801
00:55:50,116 --> 00:55:53,036
- [crowd gasps]
- Stay back.
802
00:55:54,516 --> 00:55:57,572
Stay the fuck back! I'll kill him!
803
00:55:57,596 --> 00:55:59,492
I'll cut his head off
and stick it up my ass!
804
00:55:59,516 --> 00:56:00,756
[gasps]
805
00:56:01,836 --> 00:56:04,332
[gasps] Time's nearly up!
806
00:56:04,356 --> 00:56:05,532
- Hey! Calm down.
- I...
807
00:56:05,556 --> 00:56:10,612
I just wanted to say, in this
world so caught up in our own shit,
808
00:56:10,636 --> 00:56:14,036
- let's not forget what matters.
- It's okay. It's okay.
809
00:56:14,716 --> 00:56:20,596
Happiness, fucking Paul
and Naomi, and she's...
810
00:56:21,076 --> 00:56:25,196
She... She fucked Greg!
811
00:56:26,956 --> 00:56:28,716
I know she did.
812
00:56:29,796 --> 00:56:32,732
- I know you did.
- No...
813
00:56:32,756 --> 00:56:35,092
Don't even try to deny...
814
00:56:35,116 --> 00:56:37,492
- [screams]
- [feedback screeches]
815
00:56:37,516 --> 00:56:42,932
The little girl who, when we
were just five-years-old in art camp,
816
00:56:42,956 --> 00:56:46,636
started talking to me
because she saw I was scared
817
00:56:47,316 --> 00:56:49,812
and helped me make Mr. Rags.
818
00:56:49,836 --> 00:56:55,412
He reminds me of you and
what you meant to me then!
819
00:56:55,436 --> 00:56:58,996
[cries] And I'm so honoured
to be here to see this shit!
820
00:56:59,916 --> 00:57:05,116
[screams] I love you, Nay-Nay!
I've always loved you!
821
00:57:06,156 --> 00:57:08,476
I love you!
822
00:57:09,716 --> 00:57:10,796
[camera shutter clicking]
823
00:57:25,956 --> 00:57:28,276
[whirring]
824
00:58:39,316 --> 00:58:42,116
[breathes deeply]
825
00:59:19,876 --> 00:59:21,652
[sobs]
826
00:59:21,676 --> 00:59:23,076
[laughs]
827
00:59:53,676 --> 00:59:55,532
What the fuck are you looking at?
828
00:59:55,556 --> 00:59:57,596
Just what I was wondering.
829
00:59:57,918 --> 00:59:58,638
Well...
830
01:00:00,581 --> 01:00:01,501
Don't!
831
01:00:02,516 --> 01:00:05,532
Don't? Don't wonder?
832
01:00:05,556 --> 01:00:06,716
Uh-huh.
833
01:00:07,316 --> 01:00:09,641
It would be a dull
world without wonder.
834
01:00:09,666 --> 01:00:12,460
I don't give a shit about your world.
835
01:00:13,276 --> 01:00:15,196
I don't like your brassiere.
836
01:00:18,596 --> 01:00:20,076
I don't like your moustache.
837
01:00:21,476 --> 01:00:23,332
I don't like your aura.
838
01:00:23,356 --> 01:00:25,596
- My aura?
- Yeah.
839
01:00:27,316 --> 01:00:31,172
I don't like your... head.
840
01:00:31,196 --> 01:00:33,932
Your entire head is
just ridiculous to me.
841
01:00:33,956 --> 01:00:35,172
Really?
842
01:00:35,196 --> 01:00:41,052
You look like an alcoholic
former weatherman.
843
01:00:41,076 --> 01:00:43,612
You sound like a lost little lamb
844
01:00:43,636 --> 01:00:46,116
that just got told there's no Santa Claus.
845
01:00:47,356 --> 01:00:50,132
What sort of cartoon character
did your mum have to fuck
846
01:00:50,156 --> 01:00:51,812
to brew you up in the womb?
847
01:00:51,836 --> 01:00:53,572
At least I look like I was born,
848
01:00:53,596 --> 01:00:58,132
not shit out by some tormented cow
creature in an underground lab.
849
01:00:58,156 --> 01:00:59,892
You got tossed out of that lab.
850
01:00:59,916 --> 01:01:02,452
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah, flushed out.
851
01:01:02,476 --> 01:01:05,372
- Ooh!
- In the trash!
852
01:01:05,396 --> 01:01:09,012
- Your face is a fucking...
- Fucking.
853
01:01:09,036 --> 01:01:12,972
Fucking biological car crash
854
01:01:12,996 --> 01:01:15,052
that made Picasso screw
his eyes up and say,
855
01:01:15,076 --> 01:01:16,612
"Well, that just don't make sense."
856
01:01:16,636 --> 01:01:18,412
[laughs]
857
01:01:18,436 --> 01:01:21,092
- You're a fucking asshole.
- Fuck you!
858
01:01:21,116 --> 01:01:23,938
- Fuck you next Wednesday.
- Fuck you for Christmas!
859
01:01:23,963 --> 01:01:28,803
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
860
01:01:32,446 --> 01:01:38,525
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
... www.Addic7ed.com ...

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