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Jonathan Michael (JQ) Quinn

English 101 Composition

Mr. Bodmer

11 December 2015

Effort is Always Key

The single most important thing that one must always do in their writing is put thought

and effort into the process. When one writes an essay it is important to remain on topic and avoid

a stream of consciousness that takes away the attention from ones argument. This is generally

hard, but with a lot of effort and thought, one can limit and fix the mistakes before they become a

bigger issue. When I originally began writing my essay about Sherman Alexies short story, I

had trouble with my thoughts and thinking about what to write. This lack of focus effected my

writing causing me to fall into a stream of consciousness in which I argued about things without

much thought, however, upon revision I was able to put more thought into my argument and

draw the focus back.

The revision process was made easier with the help of my professor, who helped point

me in the right direction of an argumentative thesis that could stand the test of two sides of an

argument. My final thesis was, The short story Because My Father Always said He Was the

Only Indian Who Saw Jimi Hendrix Play The Star-Spangled Banner at Woodstock by

Sherman Alexie, Victors father uses a self-projected image (by focusing on the past and

ignoring the present) to falsely act as though things are not declining. This was different than

my previous drafts which sounded close to a summary of the plot opposed to an argument with a

present theme in the text. I had conferenced with my professor who gave me the tools to what

makes a successful thesis. After this, I was able to write my essay based on information
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pertaining to my thesis and convey what I was trying to tell the audience, opposed to trying to fit

my analysis into the quote.

Difficult issues I faced with my revision for the Unit Four essay was, having to pick apart

my writing and critique myself on what was right and what was wrong. A huge area of concern

with the revision was the first two body paragraphs of my essay because, they both not connect

well with my thesis. For example, the opening paragraph of my essay was about how Victors

father constantly uses (via Jimi Hendrix) to escape reality, especially when [he] brings up going

to the Woodstock festival. This did not help emulate what I was trying to argue. My analysis

conveyed how the Woodstock festival was a way of escaping reality for Victors father, but that

is not what the quote was attempting to convey. This assumption made by me was false and an

attempt for me to manipulate the quote into projecting what I was trying to tell my audience,

which goes against the fact that the quote was merely trying to tell the reader that Victors father

spoke fondly of the Woodstock festival and the experience behind it and not at all using it as an

escape from reality. This concept was used in areas such as somehow [his] fathers memories of

[his] mother grew more beautiful as their relationship became more hostile, (330) where one

can see that Victors father uses his mothers beauty as an escape from the current circumstances.

The skills that I have learned in English 101 have helped me tremendously throughout the

duration of the semester. The unconscious way in which I phrased my argument, in the

beginning of the semester without much thought put into it, was fixed upon revision and I was

able to bring a focus back to my argument and what I was trying to say. It was hard to fully

commit myself to the revision process because, I had to give myself an honest criticism about

what was wrong with my evidence and analysis, but once I broke that barrier of self-pride I was

able to point out my flaws as a writer and fix my mistakes. The process was not at all as I
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expected, I had to put more thought into my ideas and be able to argue my points to my reader

while avoiding summarizing the story and making obvious points throughout my essay. This was

hard, but allowed me to realize the kind of writer I am and also allowed me to identify common

mistakes in my writing. Applying this lesson to my major, it has given me the tools of

communication and further analyze an argument; which, is a big part in the business society

where one must be able to validate ones argument and analyze what actually pertains to what

the person is trying to convey. I am now able to convey what I am trying to argue into what I am

saying this is a big tool in business because I have to compete with others and sound convincing

while selling my product.

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Work Cited

Alexie, Sherman. Because My Father Always said He Was the Only Indian Who Saw Jimi

Hendrix Play The Star-Spangled Banner at Woodstock. Writing as Revision. Fourth

Edition. Beth Alvarado and Barbara Cully. Pearson: Boston, 2011. 27-35. Print