Correction of sentences

Wrong Illogical: The walls were uneven, the foundation was weak, and the
whole house showed signs of poor workmanship.
Right Logical: The foundation was weak, the walls were uneven, and the
whole house showed signs of poor workmanship.
( Notice how the order proceeds from foundation to walls, to total
appearance.)

Wrong Illogical: The second man singled after the lead-off man doubled, and
the third man walked.
Right Logical: The lead-off man doubled; the second man singled ; and the
third man walked.

Wrong Illogical: The contractors applied the final coat of cement and laid the
concrete base on rainy days.
Right Logical: The contractors laid the concrete base and applied the final
coat of cement on rainy days.

Wrong The boat slipped out of the harbour, when suddenly I realized I was
on my way to Europe.
Right As the boat slipped out of the harbour, I suddenly I realized I was on
my way to Europe.

Wrong The plane began to lose altitude when the motor began to miss and
sputter.
Right As the motor began to miss and sputter, the plane began to lose
altitude.

Wrong Mixed construction: Consider how for a moment in the problem at

hand the contributing forces are involved.
Right Improved: Consider for a moment how the contributing forces are
involved in the problem at hand.

Wrong Mixed construction: With the noise of the party still ringing in my ear,
the next three traffic lights were green.
Right Improved: I noticed, as the noise of the party still rang in my ear,
that the next three traffic lights were green.
Wrong Mixed construction: Next to the gasoline station over the hills three
doors below the drug store with his three sons Mr. Hill lives in a white
house.
Right Improved : Mr. Hill, with his three sons, lives over the hill in a white
house that is located next to the gasoline station. It is three doors
below the drug store.

Wrong The sun was shining, and rain was falling.

Right Although the sun was shining, rain was falling.

Wrong He is a good worker, and I dont like him

Right Although he is a good worker, I dont like him.

Wrong He is here now, and I will not speak to him.

Right Even though he is here now, I will not speak to him.

Wrong I threw the line over the side of the boat, when suddenly I
remembered that the rope was fouled.
(Wrong because the main thought is not modified properly ).
Right As I threw the line over the side of the boat, I suddenly remembered
that the rope was fouled.

Wrong The plane was cruising at 5,000 feet, but the ground was clearly
visible.
(This sentence is grammatically correct, but neither idea is
subordinated. Therefore, if subordination is desired, the sentence is
wrong.
Right Although the plane was cruising at 5,000 feet, the ground was
clearly visible.

Wrong The captain mounted the bridge as the gale gathered force when the
sailors were checking the lifeboats.
Right As the gale gathered force and the sailors checked the lifeboats, the
captain mounted the bridge.

Wrong Mother was doing her Christmas shopping, when she suddenly
remembered that she needed a new broom as she entered the house
wares department.
Right When Mother was doing her Christmas shopping, she suddenly
remembered as she entered the house wares department that she
needed a new broom.
Wrong Weak: Because we write the pupils name on his report card, they
cannot lose their reports.
Right Better: Because we write the pupils name on his report card, the
pupils cannot lose their reports.

Wrong Weak: In London, they drive on the left side of the road.
Right Better: The people in London drive on the left side of the road.

Wrong I always carry a briefcase because they protect my books.

Right I always carry a briefcase because it protects my books.

Wrong Lets consider the situation where you have to pay more taxes.
Right Lets consider the situation where one has to pay more taxes.

Wrong I dont like to hear a fire whistle blow because they really upset me.
Right I dont like to hear a fire whistle blow because the sound really
upsets me.

Wrong Poor: It was a blow to the Wilson School to lose to the Farson School.
Right Better: Losing to the Farson School was a blow to the Wilson School.

Wrong Poor: The blowers blew blue steam from the vents.
Right Better: The blowers sent blue steam from the vents.

Wrong Poor: Jimmy went to the bakers, to the shoemakers, to the drug
store, and to the grocers.
Right Better: Jimmy went to the bakers, the shoemakers, the drug store,
and the grocers.

Wrong Poor: Cantor was brash, was irritable, and was rude.
Right Better: Cantor was brash, irritable, and rude.

Wrong Superfluous expression: When Pete and the guard were finally alone,
they spoke to each other in a relaxed manner.
Right Better: When Pete and the guard were finally alone, they spoke in a
relaxed manner.

Wrong Superfluous expression: The smoke from the camp fire rose softly
through the air.
Right Better: The smoke from the camp fire rose softly.
Wrong Superfluous expression: He leafed through the pages of the book.
Right Better: He leafed through the book.

Wrong Ambiguous: Mother told Mary that the believes she should reduce.
(Who should reduce?)
Right Clear: Mother told Mary, I believe I should reduce.

Wrong Ambiguous: The professor told his colleague that he must consider
giving a new course.
Right Clear: The professor told his colleague that the colleague must
consider giving a new course.
( Note: Some grammarians condemn this structure on the basis of
the repetition of the word colleague.)

Wrong Acceptable: He spoke for a half of an hour.

Right More concise: He spoke for a half hour.

Wrong Acceptable: Mr. Tasker gave only a partial answer to the question.
Right More concise: Mr. Tasker gave only a partial answer to the question.

Wrong Acceptable: Jim Kenton, who is a neighbour of mine, is coming with

me.
Right More concise: Jim Kenton, my neighbour, is coming with me.

Wrong Acceptable: We walked over a lawn that was covered with debris.
Right More concise: We walked over a debris-covered lawn.

Wrong Acceptable: He spoke in an appropriate manner of the event.

Right More concise: He spoke appropriately of the event.

Wrong We dont see the answer in sight.

Right We do not see the answer in sight.

Wrong The shipping department wont comply with my request.

Right The shipping department will not comply with my request.
Wrong Every fan in the ball park was thrilled with the outcome of the game.
Right Almost every fan in the ball park appeared to be thrilled with the
outcome of the game.

Wrong Wagner is everybodys choice as the worlds greatest composer.

Right Wagner is many persons choice as the worlds greatest composer.

Wrong Like all Welshmen, he thrills to music.

Right Like most Welshmen, he thrills to music.

Wrong
Right