LIVE LIFE !

TUMAHOLE SAMUEL
MOELETSANE
EDITED
BY
THUTO DINTWE
 TUMAHOLE
SAMUEL
MOELETSANE
I.T & G.O.P

BBC COLLEGE

The World Belongs to

Those Who Hustle
I get a lot of emails from men
lamenting the fact that they feel
stuck in neutral, and they ask
for advice. Many of these men
have great aspirations, but
thats all they have. Aspirations.
Many dont have any results to
show for all their ambitious
goals in life. Some are on year
seven of a four-year degree, and
others are stuck in a job thats
going nowhere. Maybe you know
a man like this. Heck, maybe you
feel like this.
Unfulfilled goals, of course, can
lead to frustration, depression,
and just a general dampening of
your man spirit, which only
makes it harder to get unstuck.
When we dig a little deeper into
the lives of these stuck men, a
few commonalities appear.
First, there are the excuses.
The economy sucks. Im not
naturally smart/athletic/gifted.
I dont have enough time. You
get the idea.
The second thing we often see is
that theyve just been doing the
bare minimum to coast along in
life. A lot of them think
showing up constitutes real
effort, and that the chips of
their dreams will magically fall
into place.
We usually respond to these
gents to stop with the excuses
and start busting some ass.
Some of these men take the
advice to heart and get going.
The others often counter with
another excuse and ask for
another way that doesnt
involve so much work
These guys will never
understand a very important
truth: the world belongs to
hustlers.
Now, Im not talking about
hustling in the pulling-a-scam-
on-the-naive-newbie sense.
(Although it never hurts to have
a little Fast Eddie swagger.) Im
talking about the work-your-ass-
off-while-your-competition-
plays-video-games kind of
hustling. Hustling = doing
whatever you have to do, for
however long as you have to do
it, until you reach your goal.
Looking at the men that I
admire from history, they all
have one thing in common: they
were hustlers. Theodore
Roosevelt accomplished an
insane amount of work because
he lived the strenuous life, i.e.
hustled. Thomas Edison
patented thousands of
inventions and perfected the
light bulb because he spent all
day hustling. Frederick Douglass
was an orator, diplomat,
newspaper editor, and author
because he hustled. And pretty
much every self-made man has
the same story.
The interesting thing is a lot of
these great men who succeeded
through hustling werent born
with natural talent or abilities.
In fact, they were usually dealt a
crummy hand from the
beginning of their life. T.R. had a
sickly disposition that
weakened him as a child and
plagued him the rest of his life.
He had to hustle more than
others to gain and maintain his
vim and vigor. Edison was smart,
but there were plenty of other
men out there who were
smarter. He just worked harder
than the naturally smart guys
and then hired them to work for
him. And Frederick Douglass was
born a slave, lived in a time of
extreme racism, and yet still
beat the odds because he
hustled.
Heres the deal. Most of us are
average. Average intelligence,
average athleticism, and
average looking. And most of us
have had some setbacks in our
life that can serve as a
disadvantage. In short, were
pretty much on the same
playing field as millions and
millions of people. And yet
despite our average minds and
builds most of us believe deep
down that we are destined for
something extraordinary, that
were special. But most men
really arent. But not because
theyre average. Because they
wont hustle to get what they
want.
A mans reasons for not hustling
run the gamut from laziness to
fear of failure. I think a lot of
time men think, I want what
that guy has but I just dont have
his x,y, or z. But while we dont
have any control over the
number of natural talents and
gifts we were born with, we do
have complete control over how
much we can hustle. You cant
control where you were born,
how crappy or nice your parents
were, or how homely or
handsome you are. But nobody
determines how hard you hustle
but you. Wherever you are in
life, you can hustle to get where
you want to be.
My Personal Experience With
Hustling
I can personally vouch for
hustles ability to make up for
average and even below average
innate talent. Two instances in
my life stick out where hard-
work and hustling paid off
despite my weaknesses.
The first was back in high
school. Like many African boys, I
played football in high school.
Genetics, unfortunately, did not
bless me with natural
athleticism. Starting off in 9th
grade I was slow, fat, not very
coordinated, and weak.
Needless to say, I didnt get a lot
of playing time early in my
career. I was so bad that two
coaches on the team made a bet
with each other on who would
be able to turn me into a
football player by my senior
year. I didnt discover this vote
of confidence until I graduated.
But what I lacked in ability, I
made up for with hustle. I
volunteered to be on the scout
team at practice as much as
possible. I stayed after practices
to work on my technique. I ate a
strict diet in order to lose the fat
and put on muscle. I busted butt
in the weight room in order to
get stronger and faster. I did
anything and everything I could
do to get better. It took three
years, but I finally got to start a
game my junior year. By my
senior year I started every game
and even earned some honors at
the end of the season. Granted, I
wasnt a blue chipper, but thats
okay.
I remember after the season
was over, one of the coaches
that made the bet on me pulled
me aside in the hallway and told
me about his friendly wager. He
then put his hands on my
shoulders and said, McKay,
there are plenty of other guys
on the team that have way more
natural athletic ability than you.
Youre not a naturally athletic
guy, but what you lacked in
talent, you made up for with
hustle and heart. You earned
your success.
Two lessons hit home to me
from that conversation. First, if
youre a
coach/mentor/teacher/boss,
take the time to pay a sincere
compliment to whoever is under
you. That conversation I had
with my coach was an incredible
confidence booster for my
young, insecure self. And even
though the conversation
happened 10 years ago, it still
has an impact on me.
Second lesson. Hustle works! It
turned my un-athletic self into a
decent football player.
Now hustle cant turn you into
Michael Jordan if you just dont
have the natural talent. But it
will take you farther than you
and those around you thought
was possible.
The second instance of hustle
paying off was my career in law
school. Im not naturally smart.
Take a look at my Iower Test of
Basic Skills and every other
standardized test Ive taken
since elementary school, and
theyll show how average I am.
This was a source of frustration
for me growing up because it
seemed like all my friends were
geniuses. I would study my butt
off for a test, and they would
waltz in on test day without
even cracking the textbook, and
still get a better grade than me.
Frustrating.
Anyway, when I decided to go to
law school, I made it a goal to
graduate in the top 10 of my
class. Pretty lofty goal for a guy
whod always ran in the middle
of the pack.
I knew there were going to be
some smart people in my class.
Definitely smarter than me. My
only chance at reaching my goal
was to out-hustle everybody
else. While other members of
the incoming class spent their
last summer of freedom hanging
out and having fun, I was
busting my butt reading study
guides and supplements on all
my first-year classes. Because
your grade in a law class usually
depends on a 3-hour essay
exam, I studied and practiced
how to write law essays that
earned As. I continued hustling
throughout my first semester. I
had a study schedule that I
stuck to like clockwork. I was at
the law library from morning
until night. I carried my law
outlines and a deck of flash
cards with me everywhere I
went so I could study while I was
waiting in line for lunch or
walking to class. I went up to
the library on weekends. I
hustled as much as I could.
It was tiring, but in the end it
paid off. When first semester
grades came out, I was the
number one student in my class.
I was shocked. I had never been
number one at anything in my
academic career. I didnt
maintain the number one
ranking throughout law school.
But thats because my second
year I started the Art of
Manliness. It required an
incredible amount of work, so I
couldnt study quite as much.
But I was hustling even more
than before. I hustled with my
classes. I hustled with my part-
time job as a student rep with
Westlaw, a legal research
company. And I hustled with the
Art of Manliness. And I wrote a
book as well. I spent each day at
the library from 9 in the morning
until 9 at night with no breaks
working on law school stuff.
Then I would come home and
spend several hours working on
the blog and book. And then I
would do it again the next day.
Turn Off the TV and Start
Hustling
Now, I hope this doesnt come
off as some jackass, self-
congratulatory, Im awesome!
thing. Thats not my intent at all.
The truth is, Im not that
awesome. Like I said, Im pretty
average. Like most people, I
have a lot to work on personally
in order to become the man I
want to be. My hope is that
other men out there who feel
stuck in an unfulfilling personal
situation can see that its
possible to do extraordinary
things despite your averageness
and even below-averageness as
long as youre willing to hustle.
And hustle hard.
If youre tired of your crappy job,
hustle your way into a better
one. The economy is in the
crapper and unemployment is
dismal. Youre going to be
competing with a lot of people
for limited jobs. With all things
being equal, the job is going to
go to the man who hustles.
Maybe youll need to go to night
school in order to beef up your
resume. Yeah, its going to be
hard, especially if you have
family, but its been done
before. Its just going to take
some hustling.
If youre tired of working for
the man, start your own
business. Most people that hear
this bit of advice balk, because
they think they have to quit
their current job with all its
security so they can devote
themselves completely to
building up their own business.
But you can do both. Spend the
day working your day job, but
then moonlight with your own
business until youre established
enough to quit your corporate
job. Youll have to hustle to get
to this point, though. Youll have
to forgo a lot of sleep and spend
your evenings and weekends
working. No more 30 Rock or
Monday Night Football or playing
Command and Conquer 2.
If you want to do something
more out there like become a
professional blogger, writer,
musician, etc., then youre really
going to need to hustle. Ignore
the get rich quickly with
minimum hours gurus out
there. Take a page from a guy
like Gary Vaynerchuk from
WineLibrary.tv. He recommends
blogging way into the night,
until your eyeballs bleed. Thats
really what it takes. There are
no shortcuts in life no matter
what you dream of doing.
Whatever your goal is, you can
accomplish it if you hustle. I
know you can. Ive seen it in my
own life and in the lives of men
around me.
Things are pretty rough right
now. Were facing some big
problems that are going to take
a lot of work to solve. We need
men to step up and be leaders in
our communities and families.
We need more entrepreneurs to
start small businesses and
employees who bust butt to help
get our economy going again.
We need men who hustle.
So many aspects of our lives
have speeded up from fast-food
to the internet. So much of the
world is now only a few
keystrokes away. We dont need
to break a sweat to see whats
happening in China. Having the
world at your fingertips is
wonderful what a privilege to
live in this time. But we must
vigilantly guard against
expectation-creep.
Expectation-creep is our ever
increasing expectation that
everything in life will come to us
quicker and easier than before.
That fortune and fame is only a
google search away. While a lot
of things in this world have
changed, the need for hustle has
not. The requisite brow sweat
may be more figurative these
days, but time, focus,
dedication, and determination
will remain the eternal
principles of success.
So, heres a challenge Id like to
issue to all of us: Lets hustle
more. I know if we all start
hustling we can make things
happen in our own life and in the
world around us. It wont
happen right away, but it will
happen.

Why is it important to be
honest?
Being honest means choosing
not to lie, steal, cheat, or
deceive in any way. When we
are honest, we build strength of
character that will allow us to
be of great service to God and to
others. We are blessed with
peace of mind and self-respect
and will be trusted by the Lord
 and others
Many of us are teetering and
tottering in our life, never
knowing when the next storm
will come. We want to be rooted
and solida testimony to our
Creator. But often we feel
hollow, shallow-rooted, with no
strong core.
You can change that. You can
weather the storms of life with
an inner strength and
confidence youve imagined but
maybe never felt. There is a kind
of peace that brings serenity
and calmness sweeter than any
youve known, and you can
experience it.
God wants us to be people of
love and joy and peace. He
wants to build endurance into
our lives and instill in us
compassion for those who need
our help. He is ready to bestow
the qualities of champions
generosity, integrity, humility,
and self-discipline. The Church
needs a rekindling of these nine
traits that go to the core of
character and are called the
fruit of the Spirit .

10 Life Secrets to Live The Life

You Want
Are you finding it hard to live
the life you want? If so, then
why? Its your life, and you are
the one in control, but why cant
you still drive it the way you
want? Maybe you are under
certain circumstances that are
preventing you from doing so.
You might be thinking to live the
life you want, but only once all
these problems come to an end?
But you know what? You are
making a big mistake if you
think so; life wont let you settle
without problems till you die.
Every day comes with a new set
of challenges, no matter what
your age is, or what your
business is! You will face
problems at every point.
However, If you sincerely want
to live your life, you need to
make an effort today itself
(Right Now) even if you are
burdened with worries and
problems.
What you do today will reflect
your future and will help you to
live a happy and positive life. If
you are ready to take the
necessary steps now, you may
read this article. Else, its better
to bounce back right now.
Assuming that you are
interested in changing your life,
here are ELEVEN Life Truths that
will help you to live the life you
always wanted to.
1. Clear your mind

No, its not a life truth. Its just

an essential and the first step
required to live the life you want
to.
You need first to make your
mind before proceeding with the
next steps.
Just do a Clean Format of your
brain, and allow yourself to be
more open and see the world
from different perspective.
Learn new things, set-up new
life goals, do the things that
make you happy and lastly
change the way you think.
Nothing Good or Bad happens to
us; it is just our perspective that
makes us believe the former or
later one. Make your mind to
flow like WATER, free to flow
anywhere and takes up the
shape of the vessel it is placed
on!
2. Happiness doesnt come with
Money
Of course, money is important in
life. But, it doesnt buy
happiness. A millionaire can be
sitting at home, Alone and
Depressed if he doesnt have
enough friends and relatives to
make him happy.
Your wealth has little to do with
your Happiness. Happiness
always comes from the inner
heart and sometimes a $10 ice-
cream with your loved ones
feels better than buying an
iPhone for yourself.
Even if you arent rich,
appreciate all the little things in
life as they wont happen to you
again. (If you are missing out on
this) A day might come when
you will have enough money in
your pocket, but no one to share
the joy!
3. Your life wont let you have it
all

The saddest truth of life is that

you cant have everything you
desire, until and unless you are
the luckiest guy/girl in the
world. At one point of life, I
thought that if I had enough
desire for something I can get it,
at any point in time! But I was
completely wrong about it. A
f*ck called, Luck always
prevents you from getting the
thing thats not made for you!
But thats an entirely different
topic.
However, to live the life you
want, you need to Prioritize top
3-4 areas of your life and work
hard towards that goal. Even
when you know that you cant
achieve everything in life. Trust
me, when you have just 3-4 goals
to achieve in life, it seems much
easy and clear to work towards
that goal!
Remember: Achieving those 3-4
goals should make your life
complete, as if, theres nothing
left to accomplish. Most
importantly, you should not be
left with any regrets!!!
4. Life is not about the NEGATIVE
It is the most important step
required on your end. No one
was ever able to have a positive
life while staying with negative
people. Throw away all the
negative people in your life and
just concentrate on whats
required to make your life as
good as it can be.
Do not forget Thinking about
the things you dont have or
cant afford comes under
Negative Thinking only.
If you would like to live the life
you always wanted, just focus
on what you have now and try to
be happy as much as you can be.
There is nothing wrong with
expressing interest in
something you wish to buy in
the future, but dont be too
obsessed with it.
With obsession, the only thing
you can expect in return is
Sadness and Depression.
5. Perfection is rare. So, Dont try
to be Mr./Miss. Perfect
No one is perfect in this world,
and expecting perfection will
just backfire.
You need to learn the way
things work and dont expect
perfection in everything you or
someone else does for you.
Find the right balance between
good and the perfect. By being a
Perfectionist, you will invite
more Stress and Unhappiness.
6. Life is all about being You
first

No, we arent talking about

being unique. By using the
phrase being You, we mean to
say that you need to do the
things that make you happy
first. Others shouldnt be
benefited much by your actions.
Since you want to live the life
you want you to need to do
whatever you feel like doing.
After all, at the end of the day,
its you who needs to be happy,
not someone else.
Live the life for yourself. If you
are living *MOST* of your life for
someone else, you are sure to go
through depression, anger,
anxiety or destructive behaviors
at some point.
7. Life should be utilized to do
what you like
What you want in life should be
your ultimate goal. Your
decisions might hurt the one
sitting next, but it doesnt
matter much till it makes you
happy.
It is necessary to live
authentically, and you need to
say No sometimes, to grow
yourself up. Never live on
someone elses word, you never
know when they will change,
and you will be the one who will
be hurt.
Also, never shy away from
saying NO. Saying NO is also art
and an essential part of life.
However, make sure that you
analyze everything before
coming up with the decision.
Your No shouldnt turn into a
lifetime regret.
8. Life is all about having FUN.
Dont be so engaged with your
work that you forget to have
fun. A person who doesnt enjoy
his life is a big Failure. No
matter, how much money he
earns.
To create the life, you want to
need to have fun with friends
and family too. Having fun will
help you to uplift your mood.
Have enough money to party
hard every weekend and see
how your life changes (Do not
spend more than you can afford,
a party to a limit).
You know what? Sometimes
hanging out with friends is the
best medicine that one can get.
9. Life can turn Impossible into
Possible.

When you feel like you cant do

something, try your best to
prove yourself wrong. Life has
an amusing way of working out,
and you never know when it
proves you wrong. Believe that
you can and believe that it will
happen. You might not know,
but the probability of
happening is much higher than
your expectation. Once you
achieve it, try your hands on
something else. Just think, if
he/she can do it, why cant you?
You are no less than them.
Right?
10. Your life has limited number
of days
Dont get me wrong, but no one
knows the exact number of days
left with us. This feeling will
surely help you live the life you
want. Just live as if it is the last
day of your life.
Do everything thats possible in
a days time. You will be amazed
at the results. Dont waste your
time in worries, frustrations,
anger, and the grudge.
Live life to its fullest and love
everyone. Make sure that you
enjoy every moment of your life.
The one you are living right now,
the next and all the ones that
are coming ahead.
Hope that this article gave
enough insights on how to enjoy
life to the fullest and live the life
you want.
We are all born so beautiful but
the greatest tragedy is being
convicted we are not.
In this world where people are
being ill-treated, torched and
bullied. Just smile at others
because you dont even know
what struggle they been
through maybe your smile can
act as antibiotic in their life.
Every day when you wake up
always tell your parents You
are beautiful with a big smile.
Tell your wife You are so
beautiful with a big smile. Tell
your Children You are
beautiful with a big smile.
Pass a big smile to the strangers.
Try this it will surely make a
difference to those people who
are living around you.

Help A Stranger In Need

Unfortunately, sometimes they
are a very different person than
who we have painted them to be
in our mind.
Help a stranger in need it can be
someone who is walking on the
street, someone you see
struggling in the bus and
someone your heart says you
need to help this guy/girl.
When you help someone be it a
stranger, it will give peace to
your mind also. If you dont
know how to help a stranger
than simply donate your money
to Red Cross Society.

Laugh With Children

Laugh with children whenever
you got free time. Seeing
children smiling can remove
stress from your life that no pills
can.
There is something special about
children their hearts are pure.
Try to spend more time with
them. Its okay if your job is
hectic but thinking about the
work you do everytime can
bring un-necessary tension in
your life.
Make some free time not for
yourself but for your children.
Always Thank God
Always Thank God for what he
has given to you. The forces that
are for you is greater than the
force which is against you. If you
are going through some difficult
times than I want to encourage
you that he is working behind
the scene. He is going to take
you to the places which you
dont even dream of.

How To Be A Positive Role Model

When you have a tough decision
to make, who do you ask for
advice? Who do you imagine
would make the right choice in
your shoes? Positive role models
arent just for kids. Every day
 people guide us through their
actions, profound words and
achievements. Who are these
role models and what qualities
do they possess that result in
admiration by others? Can you
be a positive role model?
Qualities of a Positive Role
Model}
As adults, we often seek positive
role models in people who have
unique qualities wed like to
possess. By examining these
peoples behavior, words and
accomplishments, we determine
 those characteristics that we
value most.

- Genuine This is the ability to

relate to others, even those very
different from you, in their
reality. This quality overflows
from major world caregivers,
such as Gandhi and Mother
Theresa. Their greatness comes
not from trying to be significant,
but by seeing the significance in
others.

- Confident Demonstrating
strength and confidence draws
admirers. We all want to believe
that we dont need others to
define or validate us, but for
many people, self confidence is
elusive. People who exhibit
great certainty in their position
in this world are appealing and
attractive. In the modern world,
confidence replaces the bravery
of the ancient world.

- Humble The wisdom to know

that there will always be
someone smarter, faster, more
 attractive or more successful
than you demonstrates
maturity. Giving credit to those
who helped you achieve your
goals keeps you believable. No
man is an island, said John
Donne, a clergyman and poet,
350 years ago. That statement
couldnt be truer today. Role
models understand that no one
acquires greatness alone.

Forget the past before it ruins

your present and future
Acknowledge the challenges of
the past. Unresolved past
experiences can sometimes
produce lasting psychological
and physiological effects. In
such cases, its important to
come to terms with how your
past is affecting your current
outlook or habits.
An important first step is to
stop trying to pretend you
aren't affected by past
events. You can't get over the
past until you accept it. If
something happens that
reminds you of a traumatic
event or triggers a strong
emotional reaction, try to
calmly acknowledge to
yourself that this is the case.
Let yourself feel what you feel
about the past. Later steps in
this article provide some
specific strategies to help
with this.
For example, if you find
yourself in a social situation
that triggers powerful
emotions about the past,
don't try to push them away.
Instead, excuse yourself for a
moment and step away from
the group. Then, take a
moment to reflect on the past
and how it is affecting you
before rejoining the group.
The impact of past traumas
can be especially strong if you
are without a strong social
support network.
Sometimes, the trauma
resulting from past
experiences can be so intense
that it affects the people you
care about. Unresolved past
experience can prevent you
from building strong
relationships with your loved
ones. They can also keep you
 preoccupied with dreams that
never came to fruition. This,
in turn, can affect your
current outlook and habits in
ways that make it hard to
cope with obstacles in your
life.
Understand how trauma affects
the brain. Traumatic or
particularly intense experiences
can affect our neurochemistry.
At times, this can even impact
the structure of our brains.
If you find yourself feeling
like you should just "get over
it," remind yourself that
reality is more complicated
than that. Traumatic events
can actually change the way
your brain works. This can
take a long time to overcome,
so cut yourself some slack
and try to be patient.
Emerging research in
neuroscience suggests that
brains have a certain
plasticity. Our genetic
predispositions can be
manipulated and expressed in
unpredictable ways after
powerful experiences. In
other words, your brain can
change. It is a product of both
your genes and your
experiences.
The physiological and
psychological effects of past
experiences can seem
difficult to overcome and
incorporate into your life. But,
its important to keep in mind
your body and brain are
constantly reorganizing
themselves based on new
experiences.Your brain and
body have changed before,
 and will change again. You
can make that change a
positive thing.
Accept that you cannot change
what happened, only how you
view it. You can't revisit the
past, but you can change the
way you perceive it and handle
it from now on. If you don't, your
hurt self will carry over this
emotional pain into other new
experiences and relationships.
Your efforts here should be
directed toward accepting the
past and forgiving those who
may have wronged you. Allow
yourself to feel whatever
emotions you have about
your past. Then, try to let
those feelings go.
When you experience anger
or sorrow about the past, try
to remind yourself that
hanging on to these negative
emotions only harms you in
the end. No amount of anger
will undo what happened.
Acknowledge your feelings.
Then, look within for the
compassion to forgive those
who harmed you and the
strength to let go.
This process will take time
and will be different for each
person. Other steps in this
article are designed to help
with the process.
Dwelling on the past can
cause problems without any
conscious desire on your
behalf.
Try meditation or yoga.
There are several activities
called embodied physical
practices that can help you
make peace with the past.
Meditation and yoga, for
example, can help you develop
 personal coping techniques.
These activities help you
become more sensitive to the
ways your emotions affect
different parts of your body.
Yoga is best learned with the
guidance of a professional
instructor. If you've never
tried it before check online to
see if there are free or low-
cost introductory classes
offered in your community.
Many places have affordable
options you can use to try
yoga and see if it's right for
you.
Meditation is something you
can easily do alone in your
home. Find a comfortable
place to sit with your legs
crossed and your hands in
your lap. Close your eyes and
take slow deep breaths. If
your mind wanders, gently
return your focus to your
breathing. Try a CD or a
downloaded MP3 to help
guide you through
meditation.
These practices give you the
psychological time and space
 to identify particular
emotions related to past
experiences. In doing so, they
can allow you to notice and
work through the effects
theyve had on your behavior
and thought processes.

Keep a journal. Write about

the events in your day-to-
day life, or about the past.
These are great ways to
work through difficult
emotions.
Start off one night by simply
listing the events you
experienced throughout the
day. You don't even need to
force them into any sort of
narrative. Try not to think too
hard about it; keep your mind
open and just write down
whatever feels natural. This
will get you comfortable with
the process of journaling.
This should become easier
with each day as it develops
into a habit. At this point you
can start writing about past
experiences that come to
mind during your writing
sessions.
Focus on your thoughts and
feelings. The important thing
is to express yourself, not to
tell a beautiful story.
Journaling about the
upsetting events of your past
can help you come to terms
with them and make them
less intrusive in your day-to-
day life. Expressive writing
has both mental and physical
health benefits. It can help
you process your emotions
and can also help restore
disturbed sleep patterns.
This kind of emotional work
can take some time and
introspection but it can be
very productive if you let the
process unfold on its own.

Spend time with other

people.
Unresolved past experiences
can sometimes make it feel
impossible to trust new people
in your life. This can make it
hard to build healthy
relationships. However, strong
social support systems can be
the most important factor in
healing the effects of damaging
 experiences.
Its important to feel
supported around other
people as opposed to
frightened so take it slow at
first; maybe just meet a new
person for coffee.
Volunteering can also be a
great way for you to become
more comfortable with
interacting with other people
again. This can even help you
become more comfortable
with your vulnerabilities as
you see others bear their
own.
 Seek professional
help.
If you ever feel overwhelmed,
or utterly helpless, consider
getting support from a
professional. If what youre
dealing with just won't go
away or isnt improved with
the steps above speak to a
counselor or therapist.
There are times when past
experiences can be so
debilitating that its
necessary to get help from
someone who has helped
people through such issues
before. This is what
counselors and therapists are
for.
If you dont know how to find
one you could speak to your
primary care doctor who will
likely be able to refer you.
Your insurance policy may
cover a certain number of
visits to a mental health
professional. Check your
policy details to find out.
 7 Practical Tips to
Achieve a Positive
Mindset
1. Start the day with positive
affirmation.
How you start the morning sets
the tone for the rest of the day.
Have you ever woken up late,
panicked, and then felt like
nothing good happened the rest
of the day? This is likely because
you started out the day with a
negative emotion and a
pessimistic view that carried
into every other event you
experienced. Instead of letting
this dominate you, start your
day with positive affirmations.
Talk to yourself in the mirror,
even if you feel silly, with
statements like, Today will be a
good day or Im going to be
awesome today. Youll be
amazed how much your day
improves.
2. Focus on the good things,
however small.
Almost invariably, youre going
to encounter obstacles
throughout the daytheres no
such thing as a perfect day.
When you encounter such a
challenge, focus on the benefits,
no matter how slight or
unimportant they seem. For
example, if you get stuck in
traffic, think about how you now
have time to listen to the rest of
your favorite podcast. If the
store is out of the food you want
to prepare, think about the thrill
of trying something new.
3. Find humor in bad situations.
Allow yourself to experience
humor in even the darkest or
most trying situations. Remind
yourself that this situation will
probably make for a good story
later and try to crack a joke
about it. Say youre laid off;
imagine the most absurd way
you could spend your last day, or
the most ridiculous job you
could pursue nextlike
kangaroo handler or bubblegum
sculptor.
4. Turn failures into lessons.
You arent perfect. Youre going
to make mistakes and
experience failure in multiple
contexts, at multiple jobs and
with multiple people. Instead of
focusing on how you failed,
think about what youre going to
do next timeturn your failure
into a lesson. Conceptualize this
in concrete rules. For example,
you could come up with three
new rules for managing projects
as a result.
5. Transform negative self-talk
into positive self-talk.
Negative self-talk can creep up
easily and is often hard to
notice. You might think Im so
bad at this or I shouldnt have
tried that. But these thoughts
turn into internalized feelings
and might cement your
conceptions of yourself. When
you catch yourself doing this,
stop and replace those negative
messages with positive ones. For
example, Im so bad at this
becomes Once I get more
practice, Ill be way better at this.
I shouldnt have tried becomes
That didnt work out as planned
maybe next time.
6. Focus on the present.
Im talking about the present
not today, not this hour, only
this exact moment. You might
be getting chewed out by your
boss, but what in this exact
moment is happening thats so
bad? Forget the comment he
made five minutes ago. Forget
what he might say five minutes
from now. Focus on this one,
individual moment. In most
situations, youll find its not as
bad as you imagine it to be. Most
sources of negativity stem from
a memory of a recent event or
the exaggerated imagination of
a potential future event. Stay in
the present moment.
7. Find positive friends, mentors
and co-workers.
When you surround yourself
with positive people, youll hear
positive outlooks, positive
stories and positive
affirmations. Their positive
words will sink in and affect
your own line of thinking, which
then affects your words and
similarly contributes to the
group. Finding positive people to
fill up your life can be difficult,
but you need to eliminate the
negativity in your life before it
consumes you. Do what you can
to improve the positivity of
others, and let their positivity
affect you the same way.
Almost anybody in any situation
can apply these lessons to their
own lives and increase their
positive attitude. As you might
imagine, positive thinking offers
compounding returns, so the
more often you practice it, the
greater benefits youll realize.
 073 949 7071

I am
Tumahole Samuel Moeletsane
and i write what i feel is right
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