Extreme Case

Turnaround Report

The Extreme Worst Case Scenario Turnaround Report

Alicias words were beginning to slur, as she cried heavily into the phone. Danny couldnt even
make out what it is that she was even saying, but somehow she had managed to clearly
squeak through the phone, but I love you, how could you do this to me, pausing after just
long enough for him to hear the sound of her sucking the snot back into her nose, before she
continued wailing even harder into the phone.

This time her words were unintelligible, as he listened for another minute, to her simply cry, in
a way that he could only compare to that of a donkeys bray, as she struggled to gasp for air
every few seconds, only to release it all again with one long winded and wavering cry after
another.

This was getting old. Danny had already been on the phone for two hours, trying to calm her
down. It was 3 A.M., and SHE had called him out of nowhere, demanding an answer to a
question he had long since forgotten.

The only thing he knew now was that his answer to her, in his exhausted 3 A.M. stupor, was
apparently not enough. If anything it had ignited another argumentative fire within her that
only made Danny wish that he could somehow extinguish her desire to seemingly want to
punish him every waking moment.

Somewhere in the span of the 2 hours, he had tried to reason with her, only to find that she
somehow managed to twist his words around even more, every single time, always finding
ways to prove him wrong, even if he was telling the truth.

That was when, Danny made the executive decision to simply just try and tell Alicia what she
wanted to hear. It was late, already, and he didnt even know what she was so upset about
anymore. All he knew, was that his eyes were burning, he had a massive headache, and she
was just going to sit there, balling her face off on the other end.

So he did the only logical thing he could do. He put the phone down in another room, being
careful not to hang up completely, because he knew that if he did, ALL hell would break loose.
Then, he went to bed.

It was about a half hour later, when he was awoken by the obnoxious ringing of his phone. He
knew exactly who it was that was calling. It was now 6:30 A.M. He needed to sleep. He had
already stayed up with her till 1 A.M. talking things out, only to have her call back at 3 A.M.
It was now approaching 7 A.M. and he still had barely gotten any sleep. Where she got this
energy from to expend on such useless things, Danny had no clue, but he knew that for now
he had only one option. He was going to turn his phone off.

It was the only sound thing to do, at this point, after exhausting all other opportunities. He
had tried to reason with her. He had tried to be nice. He had tried to be patient. He had tried
everything that he could, but Alicia just wasnt going to listen to reason.

Finally, he found himself able to slink back to sleep, if only for a short while. The anxiety and
stress alone made it difficult to manage even just an hour of solid sleep after that.

Waking up in a tangled web of anxiety and irritating at the absurdity of it all, Danny couldnt
seem to pull himself back to reality. Emotionally he felt like he had been pulled through a
wringer. The night before, Danny had taken her out, for a night out in the town.

They had gone together to an upscale lounge, and Danny had even taken extra care to put on
a new suit that night, just for Alicia. He had even brought her flowers, as a courtesy, to remind
her that he still liked to court her like a lady, even though he had known her now, quite
intimately, for well over a year.

What was supposed to be a night of pleasure and fun, however quickly turned sour, when
Alicia had suddenly threw a temper tantrum out of nowhere, in the middle of the lounge,
accusing Danny of wanting to sleep with the waitress, yelling at him, loudly, how she had
supposedly seen how he was looking at the waitress, up and down.

After preparing and planning this night all for her, Danny couldnt quite piece together how it
was that it had turned sour so quickly, and more important, he rushed after Alicia, to quickly
rectify the situation. This night, after all, was all for her.

This was her favorite restaurant. This was exactly what she had asked for. Why was she being
so moody all of a sudden?

Taking care of the bill as quickly as he could, amongst all of the chaos and embarrassment,
Danny did find one relieving factor at least, in that she couldnt just leave, because fortunately
he had put the car keys in his pants pocket. So there she was, standing on the curb, balling her
eyes out.
Trying to approach her, in an ever so confused way, Danny reached to console her, only to feel
a piercing jab around his back. She had begun hitting him with her clutch purse, the chain,
winding itself around his body, each time that she swung it his way.
Bracing for impact, the only thing that he could do now, was to scream at her, and ask her if
she was crazy, and to demand her to tell him what was wrong with her.

This only infuriated her more, until the next thing he knew, she was slumped into a ball on the
ground, wailing. Naturally by this time, a crowd had gathered outside of the lounge,
astonished at the dramatic scene taking place before their eyes.

Uncertain what to do next, Dannyquickly tried to pull Alicia up off of the ground, only to have
her rip her arm out of his hands, and yell Dont touch me!, at him so harshly, that some of
the people from the audience began to become alarmed.

Thats when a couple of larger men had stepped in, threatening to hurt Danny if he laid
another hand on her, assuming that she was crying in a crumpled mess on the curb, because
he had done something to her.

I didnt do anything! This is crazy, he yelled, ensuring that Alicia could hear him through the
commotion of the now large crowd gathered around them, only to find that she was still going
to sit there and ignore him.

Alicia? Man. This is insane. I am going home. Man. You do whatever now, Im done!, he had
said, clear enough to see her turn back, just long enough to cast a slight gaze of horror his way.

He knew the words had sunk in, by the look on her face. She was going to regret this now. He
quickly drove away, leaving her there on the curb. He didnt want to get beat up, or thrown in
jail for something he didnt even do.

All he wanted was to take her out for a beautiful night out together, but once again, Alicia had
managed to turn that into a gong-show all about herself, and had managed to throw him
under the bus yet again.

This was not unlike her at all. She frequently exploded in public, or made huge scenes, crying,
freaking out, getting angry, or becoming extremely whiny and dramatic. Being dramatic was
definitely her trade mark, but Danny was begging to get sick and tired of it.
When she was calm and decent, she was easy to love, and be comfortable around. In fact she
was a beautiful woman, in that state. But the problem was, the question of WHEN was she
going to be that way. Almost always, it was an intense guessing game for Danny as he tried to
piece together or figure out whether or not each passing moment was going to turn into some
kind of explosive situation.

It was not like Alicia had a lot of reason to her rhyme. Almost always if she exploded or made a
scene, it was at the most unpredictable times. Everything could be going right, but the next
thing Danny knew, was that she was accusing him of being a pig, a jerk, or of cheating on her.

All kinds of accusations would fire through, as she suddenly was mad at him for something
else, and even in times when he was literally just sitting there, minding his own business, shed
come in and find ways to accuse him of doing something wrong.

Questions like, Howcome you are ignoring me, or Howcome you arent spending as much
time with me anymore, would stab through a seemingly normal conversation, suddenly, as
shed criticize him over and over again for all kinds of little problems that shed conveniently
notice.

Danny was beginning to feel like he was dealing with a drama queen, and he didnt exactly
mind that either. He loved a woman who didnt settle for every little reality, and he especially
loved a woman with a little pizazz, but this was turning into a nightmare. Alicia was taking it
from one extreme to another now, and all at his cost.

He was the only one suffering. She always seemed to get what she wanted, even though, he
was starting to realize that nothing really pleased her anyway, at least she got all of the
attention, time, and basically anything else she could desire from him.

He was her doormat, and it was very clear.

But this night, had been the final straw, after months of endless dramatic behaviour from
Alicia. She was treating him like crap time and time again, and all he had ever done, was try to
be reasonable or nice to her, even given the circumstances.

He decided that it was time to take a break. It was time for Alicia to grow up, because Danny
didnt want to be dealing with a child anymore in the relationship. He wanted a real woman,
one who could pull her own emotional weight, and one who wouldnt be so jealous, angry,
clingy, demanding, obsessive, impulsive, or insecure.

He had made it so clear to her that he loved her, and only wanted to be with her, yet she just
didnt want to trust him, believe him, or accept him. It was very clear at this stage, after the
scene she made at the lounge.

It had actually been their one year anniversary, and he was planning on proposing, but she
had taken things to the extremes yet again. Assuming the worst, as always, Alicia had
completely blown everything out of context, when Danny had leaned in to whisper to the
waitress, that it was time.

Unable to catch his exact words, Alicia had instantly assumed the worst, and had actually
threw her glass of champagne in his face, and had then gotten up, and proceeded to scream at
him about it all. The waitress of course, could only stand there in shock, realizing what was
going on, and knowing that it was an obvious misunderstanding.

Danny didnt even have time to retrieve the ring, and had actually left the lounge, without it.
Thats the kind of panic that Alicia brought into the mix, but she seemed to do that all of the
time. The relationship had become this volatile reality now of all of her insecurities, doubts,
fears, as even darker demons that seemed to lurk within Alicia, began to show their ugly face
more and more.

Realizing once and for all that Alicia simply didnt care about him, the way that he cared about
her, Danny decided, with a heavy heart that maybe it was time to step back from her, and the
relationship, for his own health and safety.

He had tried everything that he possibly could, but she was just unreasonable at this stage,
and so, when she finally called him at 1 A.M. he told her quite bluntly, the truth. At first, she
didnt deny it. She agreed to it all, admitting that she realized she was hard to handle, and
apologizing profusely.

But this time, Danny wasnt going to take her sweet talk, or sucking up ways, as he made it
abundantly clear now that he wanted to break up with her, so that she could take the time to
work on those areas first, before she asked for more from him, after that.

Seeming to slightly understand, yet clearly upset, Alicia hung up the call, agreeing to try to do
that, and promising that she loved him and would try hard.
Of course, in natural Alicia style, she of course broke her promise only a few hours later,
when she called him only to blame him for everything, call him selfish yet again, and ask him
how he could do that to her, once more.

Again, it was all about her. All dramatic.All the time. There was no room for Danny to breathe,
or even sleep now, even if he wanted to, because Alicia was simply an energy sucker, and mind
games player.

Try hard as she may, after that point, no amount of convincing, sweet talk, begging, pleading,
crying, or wailing would work anymore on Danny, and try, oh try, did she ever, to reach him,
after he finally turned his phone off.

But to no avail. Danny allowed his voice mail to get full, and left all of her emails unanswered.
He even began renting a hotel, just to ensure that she had as little access to him as possible.
He knew that staying home, meant that she might try to take desperate measures. It was not
unusual for her to camp outside of his door, when they had been fighting in the past, waiting
for him to give in, and open it up.

He took time off of work, even, for the first time in a long time, just to ensure that she
couldnt reach him there either. Thankfully, he was friends with the secretary, who was kind
enough to let him know, that she was calling his work like crazy, trying to reach him there too,
and trying to check in on his whereabouts.

It was becoming clear, after a span of about 2 weeks of an even more intense reaction from
Alicia, as she tried to get a hold of him, through extreme means, even by contacting all of his
friends and family, that, she really was not going to even remotely try and listen to the
reasoning that he had given her, when it came to the reasonable changes he had asked her to
try and make.

She was going to once again, make it all about herself, and was going to ignore everything he
said. It was about at this point, that Danny received a call from his mother, asking him why he
was ignoring his girlfriend, when she was pregnant with his child.

Confused, and assuming that Alicia was playing extreme mind games again, the only thing he
could do yet again, was apologize out of embarrassment for her odd behaviour, but he
couldnt just assume at this stage that she wasnt either.
It had been about a month since they had broken up, and it was possible that this was perhaps
true. She had been feeling funny before the breakup, and he knew that. Feeling an intense
dread inside, he finally agreed to meet her, this time with one of his best friends present, to
help make sure that Alicia at least tried to remotely control her emotions, especially if she
knew that a mutual friend was present.

Hoping for a quick resolve, Danny was not prepared for what happened next. As they sat down
together, it didnt take Alicia long, as usual, to get straight to the dramatic point. Ive been
lying to you, she said, in a cold and piercing tone.

This will all make sense once I tell you the truth, but I want you to know that it was a mistake,
and I never did it to hurt you, she explained.
Feeling an intense pressure mounting up inside of his gut, Danny only wished in that moment,
for the next words that came out of her mouth, to be digestible, at least. How wrong could he
have been, however, when the next words that escaped from her lips, were like daggers aimed
right at his heart.

I cheated on you. Im so sorry. The words after that trailed off, into an abyss, as those 4
simple words replayed back in his mind over and over again.

Trying to come to terms with it, he repeated it aloud, just to make sure he heard her correctly,
youyou cheated on me?, he asked.

Yes. But I am so-- he couldnt even listen to another garbage filled word from her mouth. He
quickly got up, leaving the table in a heated cloud of anger, rushing quickly to his car, in a fury.

Thats when Danny had felt a pull on his shoulder, as his friend had ran out to comfort him.
Finally, at least one reasonable person, he had thought, but emotionally it was all too late.

Thats when another bombshell fell onto Danny, as his friend suddenly began apologizing
profusely, saying Sorry bro. It didnt mean anything. I am sorry. Please. I didnt mean to, it just
sort of happened.

What? Are you for real? Man?!, Danny had screamed, suddenly realizing that he had been
set up to come hear from two conniving, low life cheaters, how they were sorry and one of
those people was his own friend. The other was a girl he had been emotionally invested in for
a long time.

Feeling like he could knock the living day lights out of this prick, Danny thought better of it,
quickly opting to leave, ensuring that he sped off quickly, to get out of there as quickly as
possible before he ended up hurting somebody too.

He wasnt the kind of guy who liked to hurt people, but the temptation at this point was
higher than ever. So many thoughts raced through his mind now.

Not only did Alicia treat him like crap, but she apparently felt like he should feel like crap too,
by further cementing in one final thing. It wasnt enough just to break up, she had to get the
final, last say, didnt she?

Obviously she had lied about being pregnant, just to get him down there, so she could have
another last laugh at his expense.

Danny felt like a fool now, as he replayed back every moment of their relationship together,
now feeling so nave about it all. He had trusted in this woman. Sure, she was a lot to handle,
and she could be really cruel but he was NEVER in his wildest dreams expecting her to take it
to this level.

He had been wanting the best for her, and had been patiently waiting, in hopes that she would
come back down to earth, and realize that he truly did care for her.

Thats all he had wanted. But instead, she decided to rip his heart out and to smash it into a
million little tiny pieces. Not only had she taken his love from him, but she had taken one of
his friends too. Here he had thought, that this other guy was a good friend.

He didnt know what to think anymore of the people around him. Clearly he was attracting the
wrong kind of people.

After this, he ignored her calls for months, opting to never address, speak of, or bring up that
level of pain ever again, deciding instead, to bury it. He didnt want to know of Alicia anymore,
and just simply wanted to forget her.
Anger swept through him like a tsunami reaching for the shore. It consumed him for what felt
like an eternity, as he began trying to date other women, only to find that HE had become the
jealous, possessive, and needy one now in the relationship, as he struggled to trust women
again.

Trying to gain any kind of traction, now felt like an impossible task, in his life. Alicia had dealt
him an unfair blow. He had trusted her, loved her, and had given everything to her.

Yet it had not been enough.

No other woman now, could be enough, because of her. How could she have been so selfish?
Here he was, ready to give her the world, and she instead, was trying to get it from some
other guy, right under his nose.

Clearly she never loved him, or respected him. Calling her up in a drunken stupor one night,
Danny finally let loose all of his anger, frustration, and pain onto Alicia, and strangely to his
surprise, she listened to all of it.
Even more strange, was the fact that she didnt even argue it, but she took it, almost like a
man would have. He called her name after name, and spewed insult after insult, and yet, shed
come back, calmly conveying that she understood, even going as far as to explain why it was
that she knew he was saying those things.

Angered even more at the fact that she was right, and how she was again calling the shots,
Danny only further insulted her, reminding her that she didnt know how he felt at all, because
she wasnt the one who was cheated on.

Admitting yet again to her mistake, this time Alicia could only offer what sounded like a
sincere apology, but Danny was having none of it. Hanging up on her, he spent the rest of the
night trying to drink away the entire conversation, only to find that the next morning, even in
his hung over state that the conversation still lingered in his mind.

It continued to linger again, over the course of the next few days, as well, only driving Danny
madder, as he tried to work out why it was that if he didnt care about her anymore, that a
conversation like that would linger in his mind.

Unable to find resolve yet again, he found himself calling her that very night, this time, sober,
to really figure out what it is that was going on. This time, he repeated himself, about how
hurt he felt, about how betrayed he felt, about how it was hard to trust women.

Alicia again, only agreed, once more avoiding any kind of argument, and this time sounding
even more mature than she did before. She even began to admit to things, before he even had
the chance to blame her for it, and she even explained how she knew the damage it caused.

But an apology was still not enough for Danny, as he found himself struggling yet again, to
accept simply her words. So he opted to once again insult her, and hang up on her.

This behaviour repeated for a month, as Danny took the time to turn Alicia into his own
personal doormat, to show her exactly how it felt, to be treated the way that she treated him,
but each and every time, she only met him back, with a calm and accepting response.

Over time, as the calls grew longer and longer, however, Alicia began to tell Danny about the
steps she was taking to change. First he learned that she was going to therapy, as she had a
further melt down, after telling him the truth, and she realized that she was always on the
edge of extremes, and that she struggled to accept any kind of happiness.

She began to explain that she punished herself, and ruined things often, because she didnt
feel like she deserved Dannys greatness, and how he was so kind, that she felt unworthy.

Unable to accept excuses for her behaviour, however, Danny had reminded her that she still
had a choice, when she was with him, and that he had tried hard for her. I know, and for that
I am truly sorry. It was you who also deserved better, she had explained.

Uncertain anymore what to think, now torn between the new reality that Alicia was
manifesting, and the more crippling reality that she had created by cheating on him, Danny
found himself more confused than ever. But one thing was clear to him, if nothing else, at
least he was getting closure.

Instead of bottling it up inside, he could finally talk about it. But even more strange, was the
fact that he could do this without Alicia freaking out, without her twisting his words, and
without her causing a huge dramatic scene, emotionally.

He found himself suddenly drawn to her again. This was the Alicia he had always wished to
know, and he had known that she was capable of being this amazing woman, but now the
timing was all wrong. She had gone and ruined everything.

Had she not done that, she would be the most perfect woman now. She was finally capable of
listening. She was finally taking action to become a better person.

Danny found himself, suddenly asking if he could love a woman like that again. Would he be
able to accept her back, as she was?

He had accepted her before, flaws and all, but the fact that she had cheated, seemed to be the
deal breaker. Danny wasnt sure anymore what to do. He struggled to accept new women into
his life, because of the lingering pain and emotions that surrounding Alicia.

Everything had happened so suddenly, and unexpectedly. He was only wanting to give her
space, when she had dropped the cheating reality onto him. But now that he was getting the
time to process it, and now that Alicia was finally being reasonable, he found himself slowly
considering the idea of being with her again.

But this time, he wasnt going to push her to do the right thing. He wasnt going to explain
from A to Z, what it was that he wanted or needed. Either she was going to step up to the
plate and do it, or he was out of there for good.
He resolved this time, not to tell her, that he was going to test her. He didnt even tell her that
he wanted her back, but he did hint that some feelings were still there, in the very least, but
he made it clear that he wasnt sure yet what he wanted to do with them.

Over the period of the next month, Danny watched carefully as Alicia strangely maintained,
even still, her new-found sense of self. She was still this newly calm, caring, responsible
woman.

It baffled Danny to see that she was finally doing all of the things he had asked her to do. She
was getting help for her problems. She was working on handling her emotions. She was taking
responsibility. She was being reasonable.

But one looming question still pierced through Dannys mind, as he found himself asking, but
why did it have to get this extreme? Why couldnt she just do this before, when I was
patient?.
This piercing question loomed in his mind, as he began to wonder more and more, why it truly
had to get to that stage. The answer would determine whether or not Danny could trust Alicia
again, because it meant that there was either potential for that very same thing to happen
again, or hopefully, whatever was causing that issue, was now resolved, and wouldnt be a
problem anymore.

Danny hated the feeling, of having to worry about whether or not he could trust somebody, or
whether or not he could be certain in his future. He needed to know for sure that Alicia wasnt
going to resort back to her old habits therefore, or, in the very least, that whatever was
causing her to feel like she needed to cheat, treat him poorly, and disrespect him, was
resolved.

He decided that she was going to have to prove to him somehow, that these same problems
really were resolved, once and for all, otherwise he knew that hed just be wasting his time
even talking to her again, let alone thinking about wanting to forgive her, or accept her back
into his life.

So he set up a plan, very carefully to put Alicia through a series of emotionally gruelling tests,
and even mind games, just to make sure, that for once and all, she was not lying anymore
about changing.

He proceeded to make her jealous, by describing the women he had been with, to see if shed
twist that back onto him only to find that she was accepting of that. He then tried testing her
patience with him, as he once again withdrew, and took space, only to find that she
reasonably allowed him to.

He tested to see if shed be truly honest where it counted, as he began to ask her about
certain details that his now ex-friend had revealed about the affair, only to find that yet again
she was not hiding anything, nor holding anything back.

Every test he threw at her, she passed, and held on to her integrity throughout. It was clear
now, to Danny, that Alicia really was changing, and that these changes were going to become
more permanent.

There was only one thing left to do now. Danny had to decide to take her back completely, or
to leave her hanging.
After thinking about it heavily, but while now having more proof than he could ever need, that
Alicia was truly going to be a changed woman, he decided to give it another try, only to find
that once he did, he was happier than he had ever been with her, after that point.

And so, Danny and Alicia managed to work things out once and for all, between each other.

The Worst Case Scenario

Now, Danny and Alicias story, included one of just many scenarios, that could be considered
to be a worst case scenario. Alicia had betrayed Dannys trust on such an extreme level, and
had caused an almost irreparable level of damage to Danny. Whats worse, is the fact that she
had also been so cruelly mean to him, before the actual incident of the affair as well, which
further made it difficult for Danny to come to terms with any of it, especially since he had
been trying so hard to make things work.

Now this is a slightly extreme example of a worst case scenario, but I want you to understand,
from this story, one simple thing, for now. What is that thing?

Every worst case scenario, has the potential to either be made worse, or to be made better.

Now, I am not trying to give you any false hope here either, because by the time youve gotten
yourself and your relationship into a worst case scenario, it means that you only yield HALF of
the power that you normally would in the relationship, due to the circumstances.

Why is that?

Well at this stage, things have gotten so bad, that youve probably done some pretty horrible,
cruel, mean, and even outrageous things. Even if you havent gotten as extreme as Alicia did,
with her actions, I guarantee it, that youve in the very least, taken things to a whole new
extreme in some way, that now you are trying to recover from it.

I want you to know and understand, in this very moment now, that it doesnt matter what the
extreme situation actually is. It only truly matters now, how you react to it.

Why is that?

Well, if you react poorly to the situation and circumstance, it means that you only make your
circumstance worse.
But, if you react genuinely, and reasonably to the situation and circumstance, it means that
you can only try to make your situation better.

Furthermore, I want to help alleviate some of the pain or guilt that you are currently feeling
unfairly right now, by reminding you that the situation, does not define you as a whole person.
If you have done something wrong, be very careful to separate that event, and that
circumstance from who you are as a person.

I discuss how to do this, in Chapter 15 of the Drama Method book itself, but right now Id like
you to just understand one simple thing:

You are not your problems.

Your problems are things that you either cause, or things which happen to you- but they are
not actually who you are. They are simply what happens to you, or what happens to your
circumstance.

A lot of times, the FIRST and most critical error that a woman can make when she is in a worst
case scenario, or even when she is struggling in her relationship, is to begin assuming that she
is defined by her problems, and thus to begin referring to herself as the problems.

Doing this means that you will probably end up making a lot of excuses for what happens to
you, instead of accepting and taking responsibility for your role.

It means that since you believe that you are your problems, that you start to use these very
same problems as ways to avoid having to take responsibility, or having to accept, by indirectly
using that as a reason for why that problem had to happen, or should exist etc

This is a huge no-no, and I will get into that further in just a bit, but for now I want you to
understand that doing this, only causes your situation to become worse, and intensified.

You must be able to separate yourself personally from a problem, if you want to be able to
solve it.

Look at it this way, if you are in a huge forest, but are on the ground inside of it, will you be
able to see the entire forest that way? Or will you only be able to see the trees immediately in
front of you?

In this case, as long as you are inside of the forest, you will only be able to see what is
immediately around you. But, if you were, to for example, get in a helicopter and hover above
the forest, would you, then be able to see the entire forest?

Most likely, and even if you could not see all of the forest immediately, youd still be able to
move around a lot easier to see it as a whole, from above, than if you were inside of it.

This is why its important to be able to step back and remove yourself, firstly from the problem
on a personal level, EVEN if you are guilty, or are responsible for something that has caused a
great shift in your relationship dynamics.

Again, you must step back, to see the bigger picture, because you wont be able to see the
picture, if you are standing inside of the picture frame itself.

Ultimately, what this means is that you are not the problem, but rather, it is what you are
doing, that is the problem. So your actions are the problem here.

You may or may not realize this, but every single person has the potential to be the best
person, and to be good, but this is only ever true when they under the right circumstances or
conditions, to be that way in the first place.

So you, have the potential, to be kind, loving, generous, understanding, accepting,

appreciative, and so much more. Thus, there is more to you, than your problems. Again, your
problems are what happens to you, and the problem itself, is only in what you are doing,
which in this case is in your actions.

It doesnt mean that you as a whole, are a bad or terrible person.

Thus, the very first thing you must do, if you ever want to resolve, solve, or fix a problem in
your relationship, ESPECIALLY if it is a worst case scenario kind of a deal, is to understand that
the problem is NOT with you, but is within your actions.

Always remember that actions can be changed, and as long as this is true, it means that there
is a potential solution to your relationship problem, even I you are dealing with a worst case
scenario, and even if you have screwed things up pretty badly, like Alicia did with Danny, in the
story earlier.

So, now that you understand that the first thing you must do, is recognize that its the action
you want to change, and not your entire person, the next thing you must do, is as noted,
create the right circumstances and conditions for yourself to now become the right person,
after this point.

As youve now learned, every person has the potential to be a good person, as long as the
right circumstances and conditions are there in place, for them to do that in the first place.
Part of being a good person, of course, means that you simply take action to do that in the
first place.

There is no secret formula to being a good person. Anybody can do it, once they recognize
that its the actions that they need to change. Now keep in mind that actions dont just refer
to the things you are doing, but they also refer to the kinds of things that happen inside of
you, such as your thoughts, or emotional patterns.

Thoughts are a form of action as well, and they can heavily influence how you feel, and thus
how you decide to take action. Now I will get to that in just a bit, but for now Id just like you
to know, that when I refer to the term actions, I mean more than simply the things that you
physically do, but also the things that you mentally, and emotionally do, internally and
externally.

This knowledge will come in handy in just a bit, because the next step to fixing and resolve a
problem in your relationship, especially an emotionally charged or very intense issue, is to
create a reality wherein your man can ALSO come to see and recognize, the fact that you have
the potential to be a good person.

Helping your man to see this, helps him to accept, heal, and move on a lot more quickly from
a traumatic experience that he may be having with you. But in order for you to create this
potential for your man to recognize and see that in you, you must first, again create the
conditions necessary for both he and you, to enter into that reality.

What sets of conditions are those? Well thats where the Halfway Equation comes into play.
 -The Halfway Equation-

Earlier in this report, I mentioned that you can only influence HALF of the situation, especially
if your situation has already reached the level of being extreme, or if your situation has turned
into a worst case scenario.

I also mentioned, that I didnt want to give you false hope either, so here is where a little dose
of reality comes into play, and I know at this stage you are probably expecting a certain level of
honesty. But this is not the kind of honesty that you think.

You see, your situation has a 50/50 chance of either getting better, or getting worse. Almost
100% of the outcome, however, first relies on how you react to the situation, and how you
handle it.

If you choose to react poorly, then your situation goes from having a 50/50 chance of getting
better, to now a 100% chance of failing.

If you react well, however, your situation has a 50% chance of getting better.

Now those odds dont sound too promising, and I realize that. I know that you need
something more solid to go off of, because you are walking a very thin line here, at this stage.
You want to know if there is hope, and if things can work out.

Well, heres what is the true reality is.

If you set up the absolutely PEAK level of circumstances, conditions, and realities that help to
change your current situation, and FURTHERMORE help to convince, and entice your man into
wanting to try to move past the situation, then your chances increase from 50% success rate,
to a rate well above 75%.

The better you can do this, the closer your success rate, will get to the 100% range, with your
man, regardless of whatever went on before this point.
This report is actually designed to help you get a success rate of over 75%, and I know that you
are skeptical. Trust me, I have worked with many worst case scenario people before, and the
major theme going on in many of their realities, is one of extensive doubt.

But I want you to trust me, that if you actually do what I said, you will get the results that I
said, as long as you follow them to the T.

However, I want you to come into this with a realistic outlook, because there is one factor that
is in play. As noted, you affect the situation itself 50%, from your end.

The reason I am saying this, is because of the fact that your man (or partner in this case),
affects the other 50% from their end.

Now you can INFLUENCE their decisions, or their choices, but you cannot actually control, or
force them to do something.

As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.

What you are going to do here, in this case, is lead your man to the water. BUT, since you can
only influence things in your relationship halfway, or 50% from your side, what you MUST do,
is make that water so enticing, that your man will come back the other 50% and will
reciprocate back the new reality that you are trying to project.

Thus, your second lesson, in this report is this:

You have to make EVERY damn effort count, because you only get so much say here.

This means, that you must make your healing water so enticing, that your man will want to
come in, and drink from it, once you lead him to it. It means that you must leave him feeling
so thirsty that by the time you lead him to your water, he feels relieved.

That is ultimately your goal now, from here on out, because at this stage, the water represents
your relationship. You want your man to want that again, in a healthy and positive way,
correct?
If you want him to want that, you have to make it appealing again. How do you make it
appealing? You make him want to go toward it in the first place by leading him in that
direction.

How do you do that?

Well, as noted, it all starts in creating the right set of conditions and circumstances, that help
set you up to change your actions, but which also set your partner up to be able to
RECOGNIZE and see those actions, so that the main problem no longer dictates the outcome
of your relationship anymore.

Resolving that problem once again, comes in first looking at your actions, and thus, looking at
what is fueling that problem to begin with, so that it no longer gets in the way.

Its key to understand that if you actually want a man to forgive you for something, or to get
over something which you have done, or to get past a bump in your relationship that may not
have been directly caused by you, that you have to figure out what is directly causing it in the
first place.

Otherwise, this same problem will creep up again and again, no matter how hard you try to
change your actions, which leads me to my next point.

-Actions Are Reactions-

We only ever take action, on something, as a reaction to something deeper. An action

happens, as a result of something that we thought or felt, and thus reacted to. Thus, all
actions are, is reactions to something deeper.

Allowing yourself the space to understand and accept this means that you create the room
necessary to move on to the next step of resolving your worst case scenario.

What is that next step?

The next step is to figure out what you are actually reacting to. In the case of Alicias actions,
from the story at the beginning of this report, she was actually reacting to a ton of deeper
insecurities and personal problems, such as a lack of self-esteem, and a lack of belief in
herself. There was actually a lot more going on, but those were all actually REACTIONS to a
deeper need.

You see, inside of all of us, there is a set of core values, desires, needs and wants. These are
things that we feel we cannot compromise on, and we require them to feel any sort of quality
in our day to day life.

Some common examples of core needs, include, the desire to feel accepted, respected,
understood, useful, helpful, attractive etc

Many of us have similar core values and needs, but we all prioritize the importance of each in
our lives, internally, just a little bit different than each other, however most of our cores
remain similar to one anothers.

In the case of Alicia, her core needs were not being fulfilled. Part of the reason why this was
true, was because she had not learned how to fulfill them herself, and was expecting her man,
Danny, in this case, to fulfill them.

The problem came, however, in the fact that no matter how much approval, attention, love,
affection, and understanding that Danny gave to Alicia, she could not, and would not accept
that.

This is a very common problem that many women have, especially women who are
emotionally insecure.

This problem occurs, because of the fact that the person themselves, has not convinced
themselves that they are worthy, or deserve such things. It means that no matter how many
other people come in and tell you that you are worthy, or that you do deserve to have those
core needs fulfilled, that you WILL not, but more importantly, CANNOT believe the other
people, until or unless you first prove it to yourself.

This is the same reason why Alicia would reject, so dramatically, all of the love that Danny was
trying to give her, because she had not yet convinced herself on a personal level, that she
deserved it.

Thus, it wouldnt matter who, or even how many people came along and told her that she
could have more, or that she deserved more she would reject it, until or unless she started
to take care of her own needs first.

This is why there was such a drastic change in Alicias behaviour, AFTER the fact, once she
seeking out therapy, and once she started looking into her core. It meant that she was a lot
more accepting, a lot more understanding, and a lot more reasonable, because she had finally
begun to address her core values and needs, herself, without expecting Danny to do all of that
for her, on her behalf.

So coming back now, to the point about actions being reactions, and tying this all in together,
any time you find yourself having a reaction to something, this is almost always fueled by a
core need.

If you feel an intense push to react to something, whether negatively or positively, especially
in your relationship, this is almost always coming from a deeper core need, or value, that is
asking you to take care of it, fulfill it, and to look into it.

But there are two things you should know about this reality. The first, is that if you are having
a positive reaction, this almost always means that you have mostly taken care of that core
need, personally, during that moment, and thus now are only trying to satisfy it further
externally.

This is O.K. to do, and is in fact welcomed, because it projects more of the good, and allows
you to share the good areas of your values with another. This almost always makes the other
person feel good too.

But, if you find that you are having a negative reaction, and thus are projecting a lot of
negative emotions, this almost always means that a core need is asking you to look into it,
because it is either being:

A) Compromised,
B) Unfulfilled, or,
C) Threatened.

When you have a negative reaction to something, which you may sometimes have, in a
relationship, during an argument for example, it means that your core values feel threatened.
Defences only EVER go up to protect a deeper need, or value from being compromised or
damaged.
Thus, the key here, when it comes to a worst case scenario, is to actually go back and pay
attention to the times that you felt your defenses going up, or to look back at the times where
you were negatively projection your emotions onto your man.

During these times, and in these circumstances, almost always, your core was asking you to
look at a deeper need, that it was trying to protect, or was trying to have met, or heard.

But, because as I mentioned earlier, a lot of the times when you are negatively projecting, it
means that its actually something you need to address yourself, what you must do in this
case, is you must always do one thing, and one thing only from now on.

What is that one thing?

You must BACK OFF.

Any time that something is getting so heated, to a level where either your defenses are going
up, or you feel a rising pressure mounting from within to project a negative emotion, it means
that you need to back away from that situation, and form whatever is triggering you, even if it
is your man, or an argument.

It is actually OK to let your man know that you need to come in, and take a break, and to let
him know that you are not done yet, but that you will come back to the argument when you
are not emotionally strung.

Doing this can prevent a GREAT DEAL of future turmoil, and can stop it dead in its tracks.
Again, part of knowing how to solve your problem, or dilemma, is learning what caused it in
the first place.

This is one of the MAIN causes of communication breakdown, of hurtful things being said in
arguments, and of worse case scenarios being formed in the first place.

Again, what is that main cause?

Its when you feel a core need being threatened or presenting itself negatively to be looked
deeper into, and you project that onto your man, instead of backing away, to deal with that
privately, until you can calm down and look at what you really need.
Again, those intense feelings are only arising, not because your man is being a jerk, and not
because of the argument itself, but because something deeper actually needs to be looked
into, within you, and many times, once again, when that feeling is a negative one, it means its
something that you must privately look into, which brings me to my next point:

Recognize That Your Man Cannot Fix Or Solve Everything

A lot of women, when they get into a problem stage in their relationship, actually hope and
WAIT for their man to come in and fix everything. Again, this is a HUGE mistake. As you now
know with the case of Alicia, from the story at the beginning of this report, it would have been
impossible for Danny to come in and fix her problems, even if he wanted to.

Why is that?

Well again, many of her problems were actually outside of him, and were personal. No
amount of attempts to fix that FOR her, would have worked. The only thing he can do then, is
offer emotional support, and to simply encourage her to work on that herself. Thats the only
thing any man can really do for you. He can encourage you to be your best self.

Thats about it, but he cant do that for you.

So if you are hoping that this report will come in and tell you how your man will just magically
come in and fix everything for you, you were sorely mistaken.

This report can only deal with YOUR side of the equation, and your half of the relationship
problems.

The thing about your half, is that you will always have a place where you need to take
responsibility for your actions, even if you feel that your man is wrong, and even if hes done
some pretty bad things to you.

Sometimes women error on the side of being wrong, simply because they ALLOW a man to
misbehave in the first place, so dont think that you will get off Scott free, just because you
didnt do something bad, or at least, you dont feel that you did.

If your situation has turned to a worst case scenario, you have taken an action, that I
guarantee, has been bad. But, even the LACK of action, is bad, because it means you are still
choosing, or are deciding NOT to do something.

That decision alone, is still an action, and you are therefore responsible for it. Now, before we
came to this section, I spoke a bit about how you are responsible for your core needs, from
the moment that you feel any kind of negative reaction occurring, whether that is internally or
externally.

What this means ultimately, is that you must start taking care of some of your own needs, and
that you must start getting in tune with your actual wants, desires, and core values, so that
you can understand yourself properly.

If you cant understand yourself and your own needs, you wont be able to start fulfilling
them, but worse, your man will never be able to fulfill them either, which is why you end up at
a worst case scenario outcome, like you are probably in now.

If a man cant do his job of fulfilling your needs, then he will start to feel useless, and
powerless. This leads to hopelessness, and ultimately emotional defeat, wherein your man
stops trying to care either way.

Obviously, that is not what you want, especially if you are trying to fix your situation. So the
first key, to actually starting to make your man see that you have the potential to be a good,
and valid person in the relationship, is to take responsibility for your own core needs, and
values, which means that you must start learning how to fulfill them outside of the
relationship.

Remember again, that your man cannot resolve all of them, even if he wanted to. He can help
encourage you in them, and can support you, but he cannot actually fix your core needs for
you in such a way that you are always going to feel fulfilled.

Again, outside influence will only work so much, before you need that level of inside influence,
to come in and believe in yourself and work on yourself.

If you truly want your man to see that you have changed, you must start changing from the
inside out, and its extremely important to make your man feel like you have changed.

Why is that?
Well, if you want the worst case scenario, to turn into a best case scenario, you have to be
able to prove to the OTHER person in the relationship, one way or another, that the OLD
situation, will not happen again.

Danny had this same issue, in the story at the beginning of this report, wherein he struggled as
well, to find proof that the old problems would not resurface. He needed proof that they
would not happen again, because they had already made him feel so bad in the first place. He
knew that he could not go through a similar set of circumstances for a second time.

So, that being said, I want you to ask yourself this

How many times could you go through a worst case scenario, over and over again, before
finally you said, enough is enough?

Usually once, is enough for people. But sometimes people go through them many times,
because they love the other person in their relationship to bits, and they want to make things
work out. If your man is still with you, through OTHER worst case scenarios, PLUS this one,
then you need to understand that your man loves you to bits too, but that he cant keep on
doing this over and over again.

If this is your first time in a worst case scenario, then you also need to understand that there is
only so much that another human being can reasonably take emotionally, before they
withdraw to protect themselves.

Now one a person has started to withdraw, thats when it turns into an EXTREME scenario,
because now the person is intent on protecting themselves, and taking care of their needs,
first. It means that they prioritize their emotional safety above all else.

This is exactly why you must prove, therefore, to your man, that you are capable of respecting
that emotional safety, by first beginning to accept responsibility WITHIN for the things that
you should be taking care of, but secondly by accepting responsibility externally as well, for
the things that you should be taking care of.

Part of accepting that responsibility means learning to respect the other persons needs,
wants, and boundaries, sometimes even above your own, and it also means showing a level of
respect, which brings me to my next point.
 If You Want Somebody To Listen To You, You Have To Respect Them First
The relationship has turned sour, and has moved into a worst case scenario condition, another
main cause of this, is because of the fact that respect has been lost. Now this could be an
issue that is occurring from both ends, but the reality of the matter is this: if you dont respect
your partner, it makes it difficult for them to open up to you again, trust you again, and more
importantly makes it difficult for them to LISTEN to you.

If you have done something severely wrong, wherein you actually need to be able to talk this
out with your partner, or wherein you need to be given the chance to apologize, then you
have to first instill a newfound level of respect, and you must be able to PROVE that respect to
your man.

Your man actually values respect ABOVE the level of importance of love. It means that he
would rather have respect from you, than love or admiration.

Since this is an extremely important key, it means that you MUST return this to him,
immediately, if you actually want him to take you seriously, or listen to anything you are saying
or are doing after this point.

So how do you respect a man?

You let him know that you acknowledge his leadership and guidance, and you make it clear
that you appreciate that as well. This means that you dont undermine his boundaries, his
decisions, his needs, his guidance, or even his attempts to problem solve.

Again those are things that work for him, as a man, in his world. Undermining them, means
that you ultimately have disrespected him.

Thus, if you want a man to listen to your worthiness, you must show him that you first
recognize his, where it counts.

This means that you arent coming in with a ton of but I love yous, acting as if your
emotions alone would be enough to convince a man. They are not.

If you want to convince a man to listen to you, it all starts with a logical approach, which
means that you can no longer come in with emotional statements.
Now, you must come in with respect, and a clear logical level of acceptance and
acknowledgement of your mans abilities, and person.

In the story given earlier in this report, I want to point out one very strong level of respect
compromising that Alicia caused between herself and Danny. You see, the act of cheating or
having an affair, is seen as one of the ultimate acts of disrespect to a man.

When a woman does something like that, it means that she completely undermines
everything about him, from his ability to provide and give to her, as a man, to his ability to
fulfill her, and beyond.

It basically strips a man of his ability to be seen as a man, because its basically like saying to a
guy hey, you werent man enough, so I found someone else who was. This is why men
struggle to get over an affair, because its not even as much about the trust, as it was about
the stripping of their entire manhood, with one single action, that now compromises,
therefore everything else.

Once again, a man would rather have respect, above love. Of course a man would love to have
both realities, but if he had to choose between the two, hed take respect any day, because he
cannot compromise on his ability to be seen and acknowledged for everything that makes him
a man.

He needs that to feel like a man in the first place.

Thus, respect is extremely important to a man. So if you are in a situation where you have
HEAVILY compromised the level of respect, by doing something intense like Alicia did, such as
having an affair, the thing that you must IMMEDIATELY do then, is implement an extreme level
of respect after this point.

Now, I talk extensively about how to respect a man, and how to prove to him that you respect
in him my Drama Method program, so if you need examples or more guidance on how to do
that, please refer back to the main program.

But the main point here, is this: you must offer a man respect, FIRST, before he will even
remotely listen to you, after, about any of your needs, or wants.
In this case, you want your man to be able to recognize the fact that you do have value still,
and potential. You need him to be able to see the good in you again, to resolve and fix the
situation.

The first part of this step came in learning to resolve and work with your own insecurities and
internal core needs, so that you are not projecting them onto your man, and so that he
doesnt have to fear them always getting in the way each and every time after this.

But the second step now comes in offering him a level of value, that he can feel, and
experience by extending a level of respect. Keep in mind that this respect has to be genuine,
and again I talk about how to create genuine respect toward a man in the main program, but
until or unless you do this step, your man will NOT feel like its ideal to try and work things out
with you again.

Once again, your job is to create the ideal set of circumstances to BECOME, but to also BE seen
as a valuable and good persona again. Part of creating those circumstances comes in working
on your core concerns, but the other part, comes in creating an atmosphere of genuine
respect for your man.

This will ultimately lead him into a comfortable position to listen to you, which leads me to the
next key
Men Listen MORE To Actions, Not Words
Another reason why your situation has gotten so intense, is because your man has seen too
many times over and over again, that your words dont match your actions. Its important to
note, and to learn that men will always listen more to what you do, and will listen less to what
you say.

Why is that?

Men are heavily logical. Thats why. They dont rely as much on their feelings to determine
something, as they do, their logical side.

Now you, normally, as a woman, will rely on how you feel about something, to determine how
you react to that thing. So if a man is saying things you want to hear, you are more likely to
accept that reality, even if he hasnt actually DONE any of the things he is saying, you would
accept his words even still, because they made you feel good.
That feeling is what you are after, so you allow him to say things, and accept that more often.
It makes you a lot more patient, as a result at times, when it comes to getting results from a
man.

But a man, however works in exactly the opposite way. Since he isnt relying on how
something is going to make him feel, he works with logic. Now logic does not necessarily listen
to words, and instead pays attention more to what is actually happening, which in this case is
your actions.

This is why its extremely important to fix your actions, as youve been learning, so that what
your man sees you doing, matches the expectation you have verbally told him to set. So if you
told him that youd change, he wants to physically see that you are taking action steps to
actually do this.

He doesnt just want to hear a lot of sweet talk, or fancy wordplay detailing how you will do it,
and how you feel about it, and why.

A man would much rather see you actually doing it, and then he will work with the proof.

Thus, if you want to fix your worst case scenario situation, you must start speaking in a
language of almost EXCLUSIVE actions. This means that you must not say what you are going
to do, you must not spend a great deal of time talking about it either, but instead must just go
out and DO those things.

Only ONCE you have done them, should you talk about them.

What kinds of things, therefore, should you do in a worst case scenario? There are 4 action
steps you must take, and your man needs you to do this, in a worst case scenario
circumstance.

Action Step #1: Be Logically Honest& Accept responsibility- This means that you now talk
about FACTS, instead of feelings. Normally when explaining or discussing something with a
man, especially during a problem, a lot of women talk about how they felt, or how they are
feeling when a problem was, or is occurring.

Those may be facts, to you, but they are not the REAL facts in a mans mind. In a mans mind,
for example, if you LIED to him, the fact becomes this: you lied. A lot of women would cloud
that fact, by throwing in a bunch of feelings surrounding it, and then by saying things like I
feel so bad that I lied.

Its not about your feelings. Its not about how you felt doing it, or how you felt before you did
it.

Thats a whole other topic, that you should ONLY ever get into, if your man actually asks for
emotional reasoning, in the first place. Until that point, there must be logical reasoning. So if
you lied, you must clearly state the fact here. That you lied, and explain how, directly as it was.

This means accepting responsibility for your wrongdoings, and for your weight that you should
be pulling in your half of the relationship.

This means that you dont point the finger at your man, or blame him. Again, this is about your
side of the deal. Let him deal with his half, and his responsibility, and trust him to reach that
level, of dealing with it too.

For now, this is about you dealing with your half of the situation. This means that you admit to
a wrongdoing, if one has occurred. To do this, you have to refer back to stating only the facts
of what happened, because this means that you dont talk again, about how you are feeling,
but rather admit the reality of what you actually did now.

You state it quite directly, without over complicating it with a bunch of feelings. It means that
if you know you disappointed your man, or if you know you promised something but broke
that promise, or if you know you could have been better, that you openly acknowledge this,
and accept that. It also means that you accept the consequences, which I will get to in just a
bit, but ultimately this means that you cannot deny, cannot fight, cannot argue, and cannot try
to excuse your way out of that reality anymore.

There are NO more excuses for it. You did it, and you were wrong. Its that simple. If you have
done something wrong, it means that you made a choice, a wrong choice. There is no excuse
for that, except that you tried to make things temporarily easy for yourself, at the cost of your
partner. You cannot excuse that, because attempting to excuse it is like trying to excuse your
partners right to feel pain in the first place.

You must NEVER undermine your partners right to feel pain, as a result of what you did. They
are allowed to feel pain, especially the more intense your wrongdoing is. Trying to excuse your
wrongdoing, is basically like trying to tell them that they shouldnt be upset, or that they
shouldnt feel pain.

Do not excuse the action. Simply admit it, and take responsibility for the pain it has caused, or
the consequence that happened.

Thus, take your ego out of it, and allow that wrong to just be. This is not, at this point, about
you feeling good, or validating your own ego here, by finally doing the right thing. This is
instead about validating your mans ego, so that he can finally feel better about the situation,
and can move on.

Again, part of being able to do this, without feeling extremely uncomfortable, or without
feeling like this is impossible, is through separating your problems from who you are as an
individual. You did something wrong, that doesnt mean you are a bad person, it just means
you made a mistake, and now you recognize that.

It doesnt matter how big this mistake is. Its important in the last to actual recognize the
mistake, properly, and secondly not to downsize it or try to mask the severity of it, by clouding
that responsibility by trying to twist it into how it affects who you are as a person.

Remove yourself from it, so that you arent twisting it around, and so that you can address the
responsibility head on.

Once more, this is an action step, so you must actually verbally communicate to your man,
that you acknowledge that you did something wrong, where you acknowledge it, and why.

Acknowledging this to yourself alone, is not enough. Your man needs to know that you also
see the cause of the problem, directly, for what it is, as it is.

Action Step #2: Remove The Core Toxicity-This means that you solve the problems that are
actually your problems, so that they are not making their way into your relationship anymore.
If this means picking up a self-help course, or seeing a counsellor about it, or just simply
working on this privately and directly looking into it, then do it. No more just thinking about it.
No more just wanting to change. No more guessing either.
Figure out what is going on, so that it doesnt cause toxicity in your relationship anymore
either. Now Ive spoken a bit about this already, in this report, but basically the first step to
doing this, is to figure out what your core values and needs actually are.

Figure out what it is that you value the most, to feel like you have a quality life. The things you
are searching for, must be principles and values, and cannot include my man, as an answer.
Having a man in your life, in a loving relationship is not a core value, but is actually the result
of a few core values that you combined, that are being fulfilled through that reality.

So look deeper, until you start to see individual needs and values, that each need to be
fulfilled and each is equally important to you. It should be noted that you may have quite a
few core values, so in that case, find the top 5 that have the most significance and the highest
level of negative volatile reaction, in your life.

What this means, is you look for the moments when you reacted, or do react the strongest,
and that will show you which core needs are the strongest, once you start looking into WHY it
is that you are reacting, and furthermore what it is that you are truly trying to have fulfilled or
accomplished by reacting.

Its important to note that you must also prove to your man that you are doing this, which
means that you cant just SAY that you are working on yourself. You actually have to offer
proof. Proof comes in showing your man that you can start to handle some of your own needs.
Proof comes in taking care of some of your emotional baggage, or neediness.

Proof also comes in changing some of your thinking patterns, reactions, and behaviours so
that when you are taking action in the future, the way in which you do it no longer resembles
your old approach. That is all your man is really looking for, is to see that you are trying, and
TRUST me he will test that, and will push your buttons to prove this, which is why you need to
do MORE than simply TELL a man that you are changing and are working on your core.

This is why you actually have to DO it. Working on your core helps make things easier for your
man, because he will feel at ease now, understanding and learning that you wont be
expecting him to come in and fix everything anymore.

You remove a lot of pressure from him, which was also causing problems and which was
causing your man to react heavily too. Remove the pressure, and your man finally feels free to
help you become better too, because now you have gotten off of his toes, and have allowed
him to move around finally.

Action Step #4: Suspend Your Negative Emotions- Alicias behaviour from the beginning of
the story, may seem extreme, and if it doesnt seem that way to you, it should. She blew
everything out of proportion, constantly manipulated situations, used her emotions as
blackmail, and she even had an affair. Now there are many things that she did wrong here, but
what if I told you that this is exactly how most men see you, in the relationship?

I know it sounds crazy, and not all women are this extreme, but you see, whenever you are
getting heavily emotional in a situation, a man has no choice but to see you as being EXACTLY
like Alicia. They only see the negative drama, and this drives a man crazy. It makes a man
retreat, and even argue with you.

Now I show you how to use positive, and necessary drama, in the Drama Method program
itself, but one of the main components of being able to do that in the first place, actually
comes in first suspending your negative emotions, so that you arent projecting them on to
your man.

Nothing can be solved, or resolved so long as you are only adding fuel to the fire. The
projection of negative emotions is like adding a can of oil to an already intense fire. It only
causes more damage.

If you are feeling negative emotions, you must immediately suspend them, and withhold them
during a problem, especially during a worst case scenario kind of a situation, so that you are
not making the situation more extreme.

The reason why you must do this, is because men need the space to problem solve, and
cannot think clearly if you are bombarding them with emotion after emotion, especially if the
emotions are negative.

Again, part of fixing the situation also means extending your man a deeper level of respect so
that he will listen to you, well part of that respect, means allowing him the emotional space to
problem solve, in the relationship, especially in this circumstance.

Now I know you have needs, and I know you want him to listen to you, and I know you want to
express how you are feeling, and to talk about that, to help things. But right now is NOT the
time to do that. You can ONLY do that, after you have fixed your worst case scenario kind of a
situation. Its not appropriate to do that now, because it will only make your man feel like you
are dumping your emotional baggage on him, and will come across as selfish, and even
extremely crazy.

Removing your negative emotions temporarily from the situation, helps it to QUICKLY diffuse.
It means that if you feel like you need to cry, or ball your face off, or freak out on your guy,
because he is being frustrating, even AFTER you do this, that you go outside, or step away
from him and do it.

It means that you DO NOT reveal that side of you right now, in front of him. You withhold that
again, especially if it is negative as a part of learning how to NOT allow your defenses to get up
and turn on your man.

Again if you are feeling that negative emotion, step back, and deal with it privately. Allow it to
be felt, but NEVER act on that emotion.

Its ok to recognize it, but its not ok to act on it. Again, acting, means reacting, which in turn
means that you are taking the wrong step when it comes to trying to fix the situation, or
change your outcome.

Communicating The Need, Without Being Needy

Ultimately, what you are doing with these action steps, is you are trying to create a very
appealing atmosphere and idea of you, wherein you have removed the unnecessary drama,
you have suspended the intense emotions, and where you are now just being real and honest,
and are no longer complicating the actual issue anymore with feelings, emotions, arguments
or anything else.

You would have also extended your man a level of positive respect, which makes him feel
open to wanting to listen to you, and to see what you are doing in the first place, to change
the situation.

At this point, it is ok to communicate what it is that you are looking for from your man, now, in
a very open, but NOT needy way. You have worked hard now, to try and show your man that
you are actually taking action, and that you mean business.
But ONLY once you have done the steps listed above first, are you allowed to come in and
actually communicate a need.

So heres the deal. When you tell a man you need something, especially in an intense
situation, he may not feel incentivised to want to do that thing for you, because hes already
upset with you to begin with.

What you have to do then, is communicate your need as a WANT, instead of a need. What this
means, is that instead of coming in and ASKING your man to do something for you, you
instead tell him what youd like, and then let him know that the offer is on the table, and that
you will be there, for whenever he is ready to take you up on that offer.

Thus, you dont come in with a heavy projection, of neediness or desperation, and instead
make your man feel like he has the freedom of choice. Its extremely important, in a worst
case scenario, to never make your man feel like you are cornering him in, because he will run
from you.

But if you offer an option up freely to him, it will appear more appealing to him, because you
are giving him the option to choose it, or not to choose it. At this stage however, if you have
done the steps so far, especially when it comes to being honest about your mistakes and flaws,
and secondly when it comes to PROVING that you are actually working on fixing them, your
man will be EXTREMELY inclined to actually take you up on your offer.

So what exactly do you offer him?

You offer him the chance to try things again, and the chance to work on things together. You
DO NOT, tell your man that you want to start over. Be very careful not to say that either,
because thats basically like telling your man that you dont take anything seriously still,
because its like asking him to forget that intense things happened.

He is not going to forget that, so respect his right to consider the fact that things did happen.
Dont undermine that.

Instead, just let him know that you are working hard, and that you would like the opportunity
to try AGAIN to make things work, and give him reasons why this might be beneficial to him.
So for example, you could say something like: I know that I have not been the best person
that I could be lately. For that I apologize. I want you to know that I am working hard on
changing that, and in fact have done _____ and _____ (insert the things you have done here).
Id like to be given a chance to work things over with you, but I want to respect your right to
choose. So I will give you some space now, to let you think that over, but just know that I am
looking forward to whatever outcome you decide.

After this, you give your man some space, and you dont pester him for an answer. Again you
have already proven to him, as much as you possibly could at this stage.

But, if youd like to further cement proof in his mind, that he should try to work things out
with you, then you should implement the concepts from the Drama Method program as well,
especially when it comes to the respect, action taking, and flaw revealing aspects.

The Final Stage

At this stage, there is only one thing left that you can do. That is to take space, and to back
away. Now keep in mind that it might take your man longer to process how he feels about this,
than it would take you to get an answer.

DO NOT take this as a bad thing, and do not freak out. Again, remain calm. Men need time to
process an emotionally charged question, especially if that question is asking a man to be with
you in a more exclusive way, after youve been in an intense and almost worst case scenario
with this very same man, not too long before this point.

Your job here, is to let your man accept this reality, and not to force it on him. Its important to
note, that during this stage, you must NOT stop trying to do the rest of the things mentioned
in this report, especially when it comes to the action steps.

You MUST continue to work on things, and you MUST not stop, just because your man is
taking time. Again, he will be looking to see what you do, when he doesnt respond as you
wish, so some men will actually test you this way, to see if what you are saying is true,
especially if you just asked for a commitment from them, after causing them pain.

They want proof that you have learned better, so be wary of a man testing you. Again, remain
calm under all circumstances, and if you feel a negative emotion rising up, deal with it
privately, even if that emotion is loneliness.
Do this, and you will find that you will further cement in this mans mind once again, that you
are a high quality woman, and that he should allow you to make amends, sooner than later.
Remember that men dont want to be in pain either, and they will run from it.

But if they feel like YOU can resolve their pain, they will actually come to you. This is why you
must make him the most comfortable that you possibly can, with your words, actions, and
reactions.

Thats why you must concentrate again on respecting your man, and once more on your
actions and reactions, so that everything you are doing, is in tune with helping your man feel
comfortable and safe in your presence anymore, so that you no longer are in a worst case
scenario.

Ultimately, easing your mans pain, worries, and doubts about you, means reaching him in a
way that he wants to be reached, especially when the circumstances are intense. Thus you
must reach him in the way he appreciates and desires, to ultimately get him to open up to you
again, emotionally and physically.