Nathan Currao 17739476

Rationale

The three lessons demonstrated in this assessment aim to create an

understanding of the craft of writing a vivid description. Supported by the short
story, All Summer in a Day, which acts as an exemplar model of descriptive
language. The lesson plans rely on a Gradual Release pedagogy (Howard, 2016),
to develop student engagement with the craft of descriptive writing, while
adhering to the outcomes for stage four English students as dictated by the NSW
Board of Studies.
The chosen text is Ray Bradburys All Summer in a Day. The short story was
chosen as an assisting text because of its effective demonstration of vivid
descriptions. The text offers many applicable features for studying the crafts
such as creating atmosphere and beginning a narrative but the short storys
strongest element is Bradburys ability to engage the reader in the science fiction
world of Venus through the use of descriptive language. While a useful text for
many levels of study in English, the narrative of All Summer in a Day is essentially
excluded in the classroom activities as the primary focus of the lessons plans are
to demonstrate the uses of descriptive language in the text and direct the
students towards utilising similar features of language in their own writing.

The craft of writing a vivid description was dissected and presented to the
students in progressive increments to gradually develop their knowledge of
descriptive writing. The sentiment presented to the students will focus on how
to create descriptions which the reader can easily grasp, this will involve
understanding the use of figurative language such as simile or metaphor paired
with the descriptive focus on sensory elements to invoke an empathetic view
from the reader, essentially the descriptions should focus on aspects which
appeal to a readers sense of sight, sound, touch, smell or taste which adds depth
to the description.

Before the students are able to compose their own pieces of descriptive,
imaginative writing; they are introduced to the fundamentals of the craft with
the aid of the model text. This is the basis to the Gradual Release of

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Responsibility pedagogy, which underlines the process of the three lessons. This
approach to teaching relies on a process of gradually decreasing the teachers
participation in the class work, eventually promoting the student to
independently apply their acquired skill (Howard, 2016). This system can be
identified in the overall course of the lesson plans as well as in each class lesson,
with the purpose of leading the students towards accomplishing the Syllabus
content point of a student Responds to and compose texts using alternative,
creative and imaginative ways of expressing ideas, recognising, valuing and
celebrating originality and inventiveness (BOS, 2012,p124).

The first lesson of the sequential plans features the highest level of teacher
involvement, this first lesson acts as the point of front loading information
(Ganon, Howie & Sawyer, 2010), which will influence the structure of the
following lessons. The rationale behind the teachers significant involvement in
the first lesson is influenced by Nancie Atwells discussion on the importance of
becoming a writer in the classroom, much like Atwells encouragement of
personal experience shaping writing for her students (Atwell, 1998), the teacher
in the first lesson stresses the importance of tangible and personal qualities in
descriptive writing. The procedure of the lesson follows the teachers
explanation of identifying effective descriptive language, progressing to the close
reading of Bradburys text involving the students independently highlighting
elements of the text which matches their new understanding of descriptive
language from the lesson. The last activity of the lesson touches on the stage four
outcome EN4-1A a student responds to and composes texts for understanding,
interpretation, critical analysis, imaginative expression and pleasure (BOS,
2011, p,15), this is seen when the students are asked to make a critical
observation of the story and identify vivid descriptions in the imaginative
writing.

The second lesson plan plays the part of furthering the gradual release model as
the students are asked to attempt a piece of descriptive writing. However this is
not the lesson when they will accomplish an original piece of writing, as they will

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be asked to complete a task on reimagining the settings described to them in the

set text All Summer in a Day. The Imaginative Recreation of Literature lesson
model in Charged With Meaning heavily influences the activity for the second
lesson, the students are asked to create imaginative pieces of text from the
perspective of a character within the story. The aim of this activity is to further
develop the students agency in the craft of vivid descriptions while maintaining
solid support, this support stems from the exemplar descriptions in the short
story and a worksheet, which helps in structuring the descriptive writing. This
activity aligns with the syllabus outcome EN4-4B A student makes effective
language choices to creatively shape meaning with accuracy, clarity and
coherence (BOS, 2012, p.16). This is relevant to the task which places emphasis
on the correct selection of descriptive language.

The third and final lesson intends accomplish the overall aim of enabling
students able to apply the craft of writing vivid descriptions, by this stage of the
plans they are expected to do so with little help from the teacher and with basic
stimulus. The short story, which demonstrates the craft, has a limited influence
on this lesson as the students are intended to compose a text that demonstrates
originality according to the overall syllabus expectation of the lessons (BOS,
2012). The supports available to the students are a range of images that may
inspire their direction for description as well as a summary of useful techniques
learnt across the three lessons, the central activity to the lesson is associated
with the model text when the students are asked to generate a description of a
new planet inspired by the stimulus so they structure of the writing may be
similar but the descriptive features need to be original.

The completion of the lesson plans should demonstrate a substantial

understanding of the craft of writing a vivid description. Supported by the
Syllabus, the model text and effective teaching strategies the following lesson
plans will provide students the opportunity to learn and utilise the writing craft.

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Lesson one

What is being taught in this lesson?

The students are being introduced to the craft of writing a vivid description. The
students will learn about the key features of descriptive language and how to
identify them. Students will learn to identify such features of descriptive
language in a provided text.

Why am I teaching it?

This lesson has been constructed to suit the needs of a stage four secondary class.
The skills gained in this lesson, and the sequential two following lessons, will
provide the students the ability to enhance their own descriptive language as
they progress through the curriculum. This lesson enables the students to meet
the stage four outcome EN4-1A a student responds to and composes texts for
understanding, interpretation, critical analysis, imaginative expression and
pleasure (BOS, 2011, p,15). Particularly in this lesson students will have the
opportunity to interact with imaginative expression.

How am I teaching it?

The students will be introduced to the significant forms and features of
descriptive language. Basic definitions and examples of analogies, similes and
metaphors will be presented to the class. Through the process of scaffolding
students will learn to define and identify descriptive language, the students will
be asked to apply this knowledge in an activity. While the teacher reads the text
All Summer in a Day by Ray Bradbury to the class, the students will be asked to
silently read along with their own copies and highlights examples of features
used to create a vivid description.

How does it relate to my reading in this unit?

This lesson plan draws on Atwells emphasis on the importance of teaching
language techniques as practical devices applied to the craft of writing, in this

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context the students are taught the application of descriptive language.

Showing students writers techniques has the same effects and benefits as
demonstrating artists methods in art class. (Atwell, 1998, p.223).

Time Teaching and Learning Activities

10 Class enters, seated and roll call begins.

During the role call the students are asked to copy into their notebooks the text written
(or Projected) on the board. The text will outline the definitions of Analogy, Similie and
metaphor.

Accompanying each definition will be a single sentence demonstration of the device and
its use e.g Simile: a figure of speech involving the comparison of one thing with
another thing of a different kind, used to make a description more emphatic or
vivid (e.g. as brave as a lion ).

20
Ask the students to construct their own single sentence examples of these
devices. Indicate that effective use of the descriptive features should appeal to a
readers senses of sight, sound, touch, smell or taste.

30
Continuation of single sentence activity, take the time to guide students towards
the correct use of the device they are attempting to use and terminology used to
promote sensory engagement.

40
Teacher will distribute printouts and commence reading of the short story All
Summer in a Day. The duration of this reading the students are expected to
highlight the descriptive language features they are able to identify with in the
text as it is read. The reading should take under 10 minutes to complete.

50 At the conclusion of the reading the teacher asks the students to offer their
findings of vivid description in the reading, this is checked against a pre written
annotation of the reading which only the teacher.

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Lesson Two
What is being taught in this lesson?
This lesson expands on the content of the previous lesson by asking students to
create their own vivid descriptions of a day on Venus, according to the fictional
world created in Bradburys All Summer in a Day.

Why am I teaching it?

In order to generate further understanding of the craft of vivid descriptions in
imaginative writing, the student must learn to effectively apply descriptive
language in the correct context. Drawing on the syllabus outcome EN4-4B; A
student makes effective language choices to creatively shape meaning with
accuracy, clarity and coherence (BOS, 2012, p.16), the lesson plan aims to teach
students how to create description using resources from the previous lesson.

How am I teaching it?

The students will first re examine the text All Summer in a Day and as a class
identify all demonstrations of descriptive language which appeal to any of their
senses of sight, sound, smell, touch or taste. All findings will be listed on the
board as a brain storm activity by the teacher. The students will then be handed
a worksheet which has a series of open ended questions, the activity with this
worksheet will involve the students imagining they are the new kid in class at
the Venus school described in Bradburys text. From the perspective of someone
who has recently moved from earth to Venus they must answer the work sheet
questions with detailed descriptions of what they could have encountered on
their first day on Venus. The students are encouraged to utilise the pre existing
descriptions of Venus as a stimulus for their brief pieces of imaginative writing.

How does it relate to my reading in this unit?

The Imaginative Re-creation of literature chapter in the unit textbook Charged
with meaning inspires the activity organised for this lesson plan. The particular
activity is modelled from the changing the narrative viewpoint approach
(Gannon, Howie & Sawyer, 2010, p.53). The aim of the activity has been altered

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for this lesson plan in order to focus on the skill of descriptive writing, in place of
understanding the novel.

Time Teaching and Learning Activities

10 Class enters, seated and roll call begins.
The students are asked to reproduce their annotated copies of All Summer in a
Day. As a class they will brain storm to identify all examples of descriptive
language and organise them into groups according to which personal sense they
appeal to.

20 The teacher will distribute a worksheet. Using this worksheet the students will
begin an activity where they are to imagine they are new students at the school
on Venus. Using this inspiration, students will be asked to provide a paragraph
response to three questions; students must demonstrate at least one use of
analogy, simile or metaphor in each response to describe their experiences on
30 Bradburys Venus.

Allow up to 10 minutes to respond to each question, the work sheet questions

will guide the students towards sensory description e.g (The first thing I heard in
the morning was?)

40 Continuation of worksheet activity

50 Students are asked to volunteer their responses, at the conclusion of the class
teacher will collect the worksheets and assess the accuracy of the students use of
sensory description and language devices to prepare effective aid for the
following lesson.

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Lesson Three

What is being taught in this lesson?

This lesson offers students the most agency in the conduct of their work. In this
lesson plan students will be asked to apply the knowledge gathered from the
previous classes to complete a writing task. The aim of this lesson is for the
students to demonstrate their ability to independently write vivid descriptions.

Why am I teaching it?

This lesson plan aims to accomplish meeting the outcome EN4-5C, A Student
thinks imaginatively, creatively, interpretively and critically about information,
ideas and arguments to respond to and compose texts (BOS, 2012, p.16). The
goal of this lesson is for the students to effectively demonstrate their ability to
interpret a visual source and compose a text relevant to the class goal.

How am I teaching it?

This lesson plan expands on the previous lesson structure, the students will be
asked to compose a short piece of writing that vividly describes an imaginative
environment. Progressing from the previous lesson the students will have less
material support for the creation of their content. They will be asked to observe
a visual stimulus of an environment and use this resource as inspiration for a
descriptive piece.

How does it relate to my reading in this unit?

Suggested in Charged with Meaning is the use of prompts, such as the images, to
develop confidence in students in preparation for an original writing task (Ganon,
Howie & Sawyer, 2010). This prompt activity adds another element to the front-
loading phase of the sequential lesson plans, at the time when students are ready
to commence writing in this classroom activity they will have the necessary
knowledge of descriptive language and support material available to approach
the task (ibid).

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Time Teaching and Learning Activities

10 Class enters, seated and roll call begins.

The students will be handed a worksheet, which has six detailed images of a
random environment.

Students will be informed that todays lesson will require them to produce two
paragraphs of text which vividly reimagines an environment inspired by one of
the provided stimulus images of which they are free to choose from. Allowing the
students to structure the response as discovering a new planet, in a similar
fashion to the structure of All Summer in a Day, may bolster the activity.

20 The students will begin to analyse the images and decide which stimulus they
will utilise. At this time the teacher will present information on the board which
will aid in the completion of the activity, this information will be based off the
results of the teachers collection of responses of from lesson two. Particular
areas of weakness consistent throughout the students can be addressed here.

Allow this time for students to write. Teacher will be present and available for
30 assisting students.

Allow this time for students to write. Teacher will be present and available for
40 assisting students.

At the conclusion of the lesson, the teacher will ask the students to offer an
50 example of their own descriptions, grouped by their respective stimulus images.
The ideal outcome of the lesson plan will result each student creating at least one
original vivid description.

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Resources

Atwell, N. (1998). In the middle: Writing, reading, and learning with adolescents.
Upper Montclair, NJ: Boynton/Cook.

Board of Studies. (2012). English K-10 syllabus: NSW syllabus for the Australian
curriculum. Sydney: Board of Studies NSW.

Bradbury, R. (1980). The stories of Ray Bradbury. New York: Knopf.

Gannon, S., Howie, M., & Sawyer, W. (2010). Charged with meaning: Re-viewing
English (3rd ed.). Putney, N.S.W.: Phoenix Education.

Howard, D. (2016). Gradual Release of Responsibilty. In The Artful English Teacher

(pp. 83-102). Kensington Gardens, SA: AATE.

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Appendix Material

(Resource one) Lesson 2 Activity Worksheet

The first thing I heard in the

morning was.

As I opened the front door I

could hear

Standing outside I felt

Pick one:

The Venus jungle smelt like

or

The fruit here tastes like

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Appendix material (Resource two) Lesson 3 Stimulus Sheet. Two pages.

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Annotated Text
All Summer in a Day By Ray Bradbury
"Ready ?"
"Ready."
"Now ?"
"Soon."
"Do the scientists really know? Will it
happen today, will it ?"
"Look, look; see for yourself !"
The children pressed to each other like so
many roses, so many weeds, intermixed,
peering out for a look at the hidden sun. It
rained. It had been raining for seven years;
thousands upon thousands of days
compounded and filled from one end to
the other with rain, with the drum and
gush of water, with the sweet crystal fall
of showers and the concussion of storms
so heavy they were tidal waves come over
the islands. A thousand forests had been
crushed under the rain and grown up a
thousand times to be crushed again. And
this was the way life was forever on the
planet Venus, and this was the schoolroom
of the children of the rocket men and
women who had come to a raining world
to set up civilization and live out their
lives. "Its stopping, its stopping !"
"Yes, yes !"
Margot stood apart from them, from these
children who could ever remember a time
when there wasnt rain and rain and rain.
They were all nine years old, and if there
had been a day, seven years ago, when the
sun came out for an hour and showed its
face to the stunned world, they could not
recall.
Sometimes, at night, she heard them stir,
in remembrance, and she knew they were
dreaming and remembering gold or a
yellow crayon or a coin large enough to
buy the world with. She knew they
thought they remembered a warmness, like
a blushing in the face, in the body, in the
arms and legs and trembling hands. But
then they always awoke to the tatting
drum, the endless shaking down of clear
bead necklaces upon the roof, the walk, Commented [nc2]: Metaphor associates the audible
the gardens, the forests, and their dreams sound of rain with the sound of necklace beads falling.
were gone. All day yesterday they had
read in class about the sun. About how like
a lemon it was, and how hot. And they had
written small stories or essays or poems
about it:
I think the sun is a flower, That blooms
for just one hour.
That was Margots poem, read in a quiet
voice in the still classroom while the rain
was falling outside.
"Aw, you didnt write that!" protested one
of the boys.
"I did," said Margot. "I did."
"William!" said the teacher.
But that was yesterday. Now the rain was
slackening, and the children were crushed
in the great thick windows. Wheres
teacher ?" Commented [nc1]: This vivid description captures the
intensity of the Venus Weather, drawing attention to
"Shell be back." "Shed better hurry,
visual of a tidal wave over coming an island.
well miss it !"
They turned on themselves, like a feverish
wheel, all tumbling spokes. Margot stood
alone. She was a very frail girl who looked
as if she had been lost in the rain for years
and the rain had washed out the blue from
her eyes and the red from her mouth
and the yellow from her hair. She was an
old photograph dusted from an album,
whitened away, and if she spoke at all her
voice would be a ghost. Commented [nc3]: A visual metaphor which draws
Now she stood, separate, staring at the rain attention to Margots appearance. It seems to the reader
that the Venus Weather has aged her considerably,
and the loud wet world beyond the huge associating her with a dusty old photo.
glass. "Whatre you looking at ?" said
William. Margot said nothing. "Speak
when youre spoken to."
He gave her a shove. But she did not
move; rather she let herself be moved only
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by him and nothing else. They edged away
from her, they would not look at her. She
felt them go away. And this was because
she would play no games with them in the
echoing tunnels of the underground city. If
they tagged her and ran, she stood blinking
after them and did not follow. When the
class sang songs about happiness and life
and games her lips barely moved. Only
when they sang about the sun and the
summer did her lips move as she watched
the drenched windows. And then, of
course, the biggest crime of all was that
she had come here only five years ago
from Earth, and she remembered the sun
and the way the sun was and the sky was
when she was four in Ohio.
And they,
they had been on Venus all their lives, and
they had been only two years old when
last the sun came out and had long since
forgotten the color and heat of it and the
way it really was.
But Margot remembered. "Its like a
penny," she said once, eyes closed. "No
its not!" the children cried. "Its like a
fire," she said, "in the stove."
"Youre lying, you dont remember !"
cried the children.
But she remembered and stood quietly
apart from all of them and watched the
patterning windows. And once, a month
ago, she had refused to shower in the
school shower rooms, had clutched her
hands to her ears and over her head,
screaming the water mustnt touch her
head. So after that, dimly, dimly, she
sensed it, she was different and they knew
her difference and kept away. There was
talk that her father and mother were taking
her back to Earth next year; it seemed vital
to her that they do so, though it would
mean the loss of thousands of dollars to
her family. And so, the children hated her
for all these reasons of big and little
consequence. They hated her pale snow
face, her waiting silence, her thinness, and
her possible future.
"Get away !" The boy gave her another
push. "Whatre you waiting for?"
Then, for the first time, she turned and
looked at him. And what she was waiting
for was in her eyes.
"Well, dont wait around here !" cried the
boy savagely. "You wont see nothing!"
Her lips moved. "Nothing !" he cried. "It
was all a joke, wasnt it?"
He turned to the other children. "Nothings
happening today. Is it ?"
They all blinked at him and then,
understanding, laughed and shook their
heads. "Nothing, nothing !"
"Oh, but," Margot whispered, her eyes
helpless. "But this is the day, the scientists
predict, they say, they know, the sun"
"All a joke !" said the boy, and seized her
roughly.
"Hey, everyone, lets put her in a closet
before the teacher comes !"
"No," said Margot, falling back.
They surged about her, caught her up and
bore her, protesting, and then pleading,
and then crying, back into a tunnel, a
room, a closet, where they slammed and
locked the door. They stood looking at the
door and saw it tremble from her beating
and throwing herself against it. They heard
her muffled cries.
Then, smiling, they turned and went out
and back down the tunnel, just as the
teacher arrived.
"Ready, children ?" She glanced at her
watch.
"Yes !" said everyone.
"Are we all here ?"
"Yes !"
The rain slacked still more. They crowded
to the huge door. The rain stopped. It was
as if, in the midst of a film concerning an
avalanche, a tornado, a hurricane, a
volcanic eruption, something had, first,
gone wrong with the sound apparatus, thus
muffling and finally cutting off all noise,
all of the blasts and repercussions and
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Nathan Currao 17739476
thunders, and then, second, ripped the film
from the projector and inserted in its place
a beautiful tropical slide which did not
move or tremor. The world ground to a
standstill. The silence was so immense and
unbelievable that you felt your ears had
been stuffed or you had lost your hearing
altogether.
The children put their hands to their ears.
They stood apart. The door slid back and
the smell of the silent, waiting world came
in to them. The sun came out. It was the
color of flaming bronze and it was very
large. And the sky around it was a blazing
blue tile color. And the jungle burned with
sunlight as the children, released from
their spell, rushed out, yelling into the
springtime.
"Now, dont go too far," called the teacher
after them. "Youve only two hours, you
know. You wouldnt want to get caught
out !"
But they were running and turning their
faces up to the sky and feeling the sun on
their cheeks like a warm iron; they were
taking off their jackets and letting the sun
burn their arms.
"Oh, its better than the sun lamps, isnt it
?"
"Much, much better !"
They stopped running and stood in the
great jungle that covered Venus, that grew
and never stopped growing, tumultuously,
even as you watched it. It was a nest of
octopi, clustering up great arms of
fleshlike weed, wavering, flowering in this
brief spring. It was the color of rubber and
ash, this jungle, from the many years
without sun. It was the color of stones and
white cheeses and ink, and it was the color
of the moon.
The children lay out, laughing, on the
jungle mattress, and heard it sigh and
squeak under them resilient and alive.
They ran among the trees, they slipped and
fell, they pushed each other, they played
hideand-seek and tag, but most of all they
squinted at the sun until the tears ran down
their faces; they put their hands up to that
yellowness and that amazing blueness and
they breathed of the fresh, fresh air and
listened and listened to the silence which
suspended them in a blessed sea of no
sound and no motion. They looked at Commented [nc6]: The sea of no sound and no motion
everything and savored everything. Then, is a powerful metaphor for the overwhelming quiet
sensation felt by the children in the absence of rain and
wildly, like animals escaped from their storm.
caves, they ran and ran in shouting circles.
They ran for an hour and did not stop
running. And then - In the midst of their
running one of the girls wailed. Everyone
stopped.
The girl, standing in the open, held out her
hand. "Oh, look, look," she said,
trembling. Commented [nc4]: The jungle did not in fact burn, it is
They came slowly to look at her opened insinuated that the bright sunlight in contrast to the
overcast looks similar to a blaze.
palm. In the center of it, cupped and huge,
was a single raindrop. She began to cry,
looking at it. They glanced quietly at the
sun. "Oh. Oh."
A few cold drops fell on their noses and
their cheeks and their mouths. The sun
faded behind a stir of mist. A wind blew
cold around them. They turned and started
to walk back toward the underground
house, their hands at their sides, their
smiles vanishing away. Commented [nc7]: This plays on the physical senses of
A boom of thunder startled them and like the children, as the sunshine ends the rain returns and
this is represented by their simultaneous sobbing. In this
leaves before a new hurricane, they moment tear drops are the same as rain drops.
tumbled upon each other and ran.
Lightning struck ten miles away, five
miles away, a mile, a half mile. The sky
darkened into midnight in a flash.
They stood in the doorway of the Commented [nc5]: The author likens the alien plants to
underground for a moment until it was an octopus, this is a tangible visual image for the reader.
raining hard. Then they closed the door
and heard the gigantic sound of the rain
falling in tons and avalanches, everywhere
and forever.
"Will it be seven more years ?"
"Yes. Seven."
Then one of them gave a little cry.
"Margot !"
"What ?"
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"Shes still in the closet where we locked

her."
"Margot."
They stood as if someone had driven them,
like so many stakes, into the floor.
They looked at each other and then looked
away. They glanced out at the world that
was raining now and raining and raining
steadily. They could not meet each others
glances. Their faces were solemn and pale.
They looked at their hands and feet, their
faces down.
"Margot." One of the girls said, "Well
?"
No one moved.
"Go on," whispered the girl.
They walked slowly down the hall in the
sound of cold rain. They turned through
the doorway to the room in the sound of
the storm and thunder, lightning on their
faces, blue and terrible.
They walked over to the closet door
slowly and stood by it. Behind the closet
door was only silence.

They unlocked the door, even more

slowly, and let Margot out.

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