In Dedication …

To my parents, Ron and Lois Porter. Thanks for being

the best teachers, cheerleaders, coaches, friends, and loan
officers a girl like me could ask for.

To my Aunt Lauren. Thanks for letting me wear your

clothes, use your kitchen, sleep on your couch and other hobo
behavior without an inordinate amount of judgement or
ridicule.

And to every single girl who has ever suffered through

Tom, Dick, or Harry and can still hold out hope for Prince
Charming.
the
BREAK-UP
cookbook

{ Recipes for Singles

}
Who Aren’t Getting Any … Anymore

by NICOLE PORTER
Nickel & Dime Press
New York, NY
Copyright 2011 by Nicole Porter.
All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by

any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording,
or by any information storage or retrieval system, without written
permission by the publisher except in the case of brief quotations
embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure the
accuracy of information contained in this book, we assume no
responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any inconsistency
herein. Any slights of people, places, or organizations are unintentional.

For more information, visit www.thebreakupcookbook.com.

Nickel & Dime Press

New York, NY 10020

Printed in the United States of America.

Layout and design by: Nicole Porter

Edited by: Linda Berardelli
Cover photo: istockphoto/robynmac
Author photo: Bradford Rogne of www.photosla.com

ISBN-10: 061537297X
ISBN-13: 978-0-615-37297-6

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

First Edition
 contents
6
ote
Author’s N
8
a n d O t h e r Disasters
one Dating
26
of One
two Pity, Party
58
s o f a S u g ar Addict
three Confession
98
You Scream
four Ice Cream,
122
t s , a n d B ombshells
e
five Pigs, Blank
154
f Crust
six An Issue o
192
n Comforts
seven Homegrow
214

d e x & C lo sing Notes

In
dear reader
For most of our dating lives my single girlfriends and I have
been throwing parties to mark the end of yet another one of our
romantic relationships that had crashed and burned. For one
friend’s broken engagement I made pecan pralines and when
another friend discovered her boyfriend had a wife we threw a
pizza party. I was sifting through the ashes of my own romantic
fire sale (otherwise known as the crash of 2005) when the idea of
“The Break-up Cookbook” was born. Why not have a cookbook
dedicated to the most hallowed of female bonding rituals: the pity
party? For decades women all over the world have been
rehashing relationship drama over diet-destroying comfort food.
It’s a tradition handed down from woman-to-woman like awkward
training bra fittings, Noxema, and George Clooney.

Jokes aside, Ms. Reader (or Mr. Reader, I don't judge) I

think you should be warned, if you're looking for a touchy-feely-
relationship-guide this isn’t it. “The Break-Up Cookbook” is
written purely as entertainment and any story contained within
is purely an illustration—not a thinly veiled attempt to publicly
humiliate the litany of losers, morons, or imbeciles that I, my
friends, family or acquaintances have dated over the years. I’m
not saying they don't deserve it, I'm just classy like that.

Maybe you're searching for a few diet-friendly recipes?

Nope sorry, I try not to do anything with the word "die" in it and
the only thing in this book that's low fat are the pages. But really,
you can eat healthily ninety-nine percent of the time if you want
to. Why not be really bad only once in a while?

For my friends who don’t cook don’t worry, I’ve included

fun features for you too. I believe in the “girl code” … “never leave
a friend behind.” As you will notice, I’ve included key phrases in
foreign languages in this book. I believe that there are several
ways to tell your ex to “suck it” and they don’t all have to be in
English. That said, don’t get arrested. You only have a handful of
friends who will post bail for you—I’m not one of them.

Enjoy "The Break-up Cookbook" for what it is—a happy

distraction in an awful time in your life. In this book I've put
together a collection of the most decadent, diet-destroying dishes,
desserts, and drinks to help both you and your friends get over a
break-up. Take this book and share it with people who care about
you because the real cure for mending a broken heart is laughter
and friends. Here's to your exes, may they never get what they
deserve!

Cordially yours,

Nicole
A Smart Single Girl...
Never makes being loved by someone else
more important than loving themselves.

Totally Chocolate Chipped Cookies, pg. 12

"Buttaface" Sugar Cookies, pg. 14
Peanut Butter Nutella Cookies, pg. 15
Double Chocolate Cookies, pg. 16
Green (with Envy) Tea Cookies, pg. 19
Gotta Lemon Almond Cookies, pg. 20
Gingerbread Cookies, pg. 21
White Chocolate Macadamia Cookies, pg. 24
Cranberry Oatmeal Cookies, pg. 25
 CHAPTER ONE

Dating and
Other Disasters

F
ood is the rst thing I ever liked that liked me back. W hile every girl longs
to be shiny-haired Mary Tyler Moore, I know in my heart that I’m a klutzy
Rhoda through and through. My rst playground crush stole a kiss from
me under the uneven bars—then he threw sand in my face. If only I had
realized then that it would be a precursor of things to come in my romantic life. Over
the years I've been able to balance my love of food with my interest in the opposite
sex. W hen I was stood up I baked a a batch of cookies; if a rst date was dead on
arrival I whipped up a batch of ice cream to stick in the freezer; and when my heart
was broken I se led into a piping hot plate of macaroni and cheese in front of a
Marilyn Monroe movie. Food is my best friend, con dant, and the reason I get out of
the bed in the morning.

Playground romances aside, as a grown-up single woman I’ve learned to

prepare in the event of a dating disaster. I keep bobby pins in my purse to tack down
any yaway hairs, there’s a twenty dollar note for cab fare tucked in my bra in case my
date is a dud, and when I end a relationships there’s cookie dough hidden away in my
freezer. I’ve realized that anyone who thinks that dating is fun either hasn’t done it
very long or needs to have their head examined. So why go through all the trouble? As

9
 the break-up cookbook

women we’re sadomasochists, the lot of us. We’re gluttons for punishment. Why else
would any person in their right mind suffer through impossibly high heels, thong
underwear, and a bikini wax?

No matter how many times a person goes through a break-up, having practice
doesn’t make it any easier. Th ink of it, all the time, money, and effort you spent
making your ex presentable to your friends and family only to have some woman reap
the benefit of your hard work. If it wasn’t for you he’d still be using way too much
product in his hair and clipping his toe nails with a pair of scissors. Ending a
relationship after breaking so many of your ex’s bad habits is like renovating a fi xer
upper, but never getting to live in it. Personally, I will only go as far as a few cosmetic
issues—I’d rather leave the plumbing up to another woman to fi x. Still, after all of
your hard work the least he could do is give you a gift basket for turning him into a
man a gem like you would want to date. It seems like the payoff is hardly worth the
trouble.

There’s a lot of work to be done when a woman goes from attached to single.
The fi rst order of business is to get back into your friend’s good graces. Your single
girlfriends probably won’t roll out the welcome mat now that you’re back. And really,
who could blame them? You probably weren’t so much fun while you were a couple.
You probably cancelled more than a few girl’s nights and spent the few evenings you
did go out incessantly texting your now insignificant other. Not to mention the times
you would tell your girlfriends ad naseum about the “cute thing” your boyfriend did
for you. Face it, as a couple, not only were you boring, you were the enemy.

Don’t despair because your friends—your really good friends—will always

take you back…after a while. A really good friend will forgo a diet to share a few
hundred (or thousand) calories with you. She’ll even listen to your all-consuming,
incessant, and unyielding chatter about the minutiae of your ill-fated romance

10
 the break-up cookbook

because she’s your friend. And when you’re over it, she’ll be the first one to hand you
your dancing or tennis shoes to get you moving again. If that’s not love, I don’t know
what is. Getting over your ex won’t be easy, but remember your friends are there to
make sure you survive the fall.

I, myself have never been able to truly master the art of dating. Sure, I've dated
plenty, but to call myself a master would hardly be accurate. Dating for me has always
been like singing. Sure everyone can do it,
but how many of us can truly carry a tune? “I'm selfish, impatient, and a litt le
Baking, on the other hand, well, that's one insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of
thing that I have been able to master. From control and at times I'm hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
my fi rst batch of peanut butter cookies, I've then you sure as hell don't deserve me at
been hooked. It all makes sense to me. If you my best?“—Marilyn Monroe
add the right ingredients, use the right
temperature, and follow the directions there's very little opportunity to mess things
up. And if by chance something has gone wrong there's always a reason. Which is
exactly, the opposite of what happens when it comes to love.

A person can do everything "right" and still wind up with a disaster, but
knowing that the only right thing I could do but be myself makes me feel better.
Pretending to be someone you're not in a relationship isn't love and that's definitely
not a relationship. It's a lie. It's like the difference between butter and margarine; sure
margarine may look like butter, and taste like butter, but it's definitely not butter. If
your next relationship is going to be the real thing, there can't be any substitutions.
The only thing you can do is be yourself and hope that there's someone special out
there who can love your special type of crazy. Sure butter may be more fatty, but I'm
convinced that the best relationships carry a little weight.

11
 the break-up cookbook

“In college, I thought

my boyfriend and I were
saving ourselves for marriage.
He showed up at my 21st birthday
event holding another girl’s hand. I
was never jealous, so I casually
asked, ‘Who’s this?’ He replied,
‘The girl I’m sleeping with.’ It was
years before I could laugh
about that.”—Debra

12
 the break-up cookbook

Totally Chocolate Chipped Cookies

No matter how down you are nothing beats the smell of fresh-baked cookies.
With just the right mix of butter and sugar, these cookies are sure to pick up your
sourest mood. Th ese chewy cookies are great fresh off of the pan, but if you
don’t quite make it to the oven … the batter is great too.

ingredients
1 cup brown sugar

{
1 cup white sugar
1 cup softened butter
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 eggs “Men are highly overrated and vastly inferior to chocolate.”
½ teaspoon salt General Hospital
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
2 ½ cups semisweet chocolate chips

1 cup pecans, chopped (optional)

directions
In a large mixing bowl, combine brown sugar, white sugar, softened butter,
eggs, and vanilla extract. In a separate mixing bowl, mix all-purpose flour, salt,
and baking soda. Sift. Spoon about a ¼ cup of your dry ingredients at a time into
your wet ingredients then mix well. Add chocolate chips and, if you prefer,
chopped pecans, to your cookie batter.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease and fl our your cookie
sheets then set aside. Scoop golf ball sized lumps of cookie dough onto your
cookie sheet at least two-inches apart. Bake cookies for 10 minutes or until
golden brown. Remove from the cookie sheet and then set aside on a baking
rack to cool. Makes 30-40 cookies.

13
 the break-up cookbook

Fun Party Themes

THE PAJAMA JAM

As long as you're in your pajamas, maybe you
should invite a few friends over? The Pajama Jam is
a popular party theme because there's not a whole
lot of work involved. First, everyone has pajamas so
there's no need to shop for a new outfit. Plus,
hosting a pajama jam is simple: think a 12-year-
old’s sleepover—but for grownups. Like any good
party, a Pajama Jam includes a lot of great food,
music, and entertainment.
THE MENU
Little Devil Spicy Sliders, pg. 32, Crackle Pop Caramel Corn, pg. 48, Warm Spinach Dip, pg. 56,
Dirty Bastard Cocktails, pg. 39

ENTERTAINMENT
Old Movies, Tarot Cards, Ouija Board, Collection of Board Games, Horrifying Blind Date Stories

MEXICOMA

What's a lot of tequila between friends? Sometimes getting out of a bad relationship, is like
waking up from a really bad nightmare. Sure you know you're falling, but you still can't manage
to wake yourself up. In this Mexican-theme party you can celebrate the way mother nature
intended … with tequila. Olé!
THE MENU
Nacho Man Anymore Nachos, pg. 42, Tequila Chicken
Tacos, pg. 150, Sangria Blanco, pg. 39

ENTERTAINMENT
Pin The Tail On The Jackass, piñata, Spanish word games

30
 the break-up cookbook

NO LOSER LUAU
Light the tiki torches, it's time to celebrate. So what if you'll
never get lei-ed again? A luau is a fabulous way to sweep out
your old life. Introduce your newly single status like single
women do in Hawaii by putting a flower behind their right
ear. A luau is like a regular barbecue—but with rum and
pineapple. Sure a luau can be a little tacky and campy, but
after you spent so much time in limbo you can give your last
relationship the "aloha" it deserves.
THE MENU
Piña Coladas, pg. 39, Danger Dogs, pg. 148,
Sweet Potato Fries, pg. 144, Pop’s Pineapple
Fritters, pg. 40

ENTERTAINMENT
Conga Line, Horseshoe Toss

NEWLY SINGLE GIFT IDEAS


If your friend just broke up with their plus one, there are

IT'S
plenty of ways to make them feel better.
er. Below are a few gift

O.V.
ideas that will show how much you care, but not break the

E.R.
bank.
For Your Female Friend For Your Male Friend
• Sexy Apron
• Fried Chicken 
• Bottle of Wine
• Video Game Met
• Personalized Playlist Gave the
• Pity Sex Wr
ong
• An Alibi him Guy.
• Aged Bottle of the
Scotch Wro
ng F
For Everyone inge
• A Copy of “The Break-up Cookbook” Celeb r .
rate w
ith M
e Ton
ight

31
 the break-up cookbook

“My ex-boyfriend
said, ‘I’d like to marry
you, but I’m afraid I might
find someone even better after
we’re married, and I’d be stuck.’
Fast forward 15 years when we
meet again: 'I was mistaken.
I didn’t find anyone
better.'”—Laura

62
 the break-up cookbook

Knock ‘em Dead

Flourless Chocolate Cake
This fl ourless chocolate cake is sexy, scintillating, and absolutely addicting.
There are really only six ingredients and it’s guaranteed to make you forget
about what’s-his-name within the first few bites.

ingredients
8 ounces unsweetened bittersweet chocolate, chopped

{
¼ cup cocoa powder
1 cup unsalted butter
6 cold eggs “After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall
1 ¼ cup white sugar apart. The best we can do is breathe and reboot.”
2 teaspoons vanilla extract Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City

directions

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Th en grease your 8-inch spring-
form baking pan with a bit of butter. Press foil around the edges of your pan.
Your goal is to make the pan water tight. In a mixing bowl, beat cocoa powder,
eggs, vanilla extract, and white sugar together with an electric mixer.

Then using a saucepan, melt your bittersweet chocolate and butter on low heat,
stirring often until smooth. To fi nish your batter, pour your melted chocolate
into your mixing bowl while mixing vigorously.

After your chocolate has been fully incorporated, pour your batter into the
spring-form baking pan. Bake for 30 minutes. Serve warm or cold with whipped
cream (recipe, pg. 106) or chocolate ganache (recipe, pg. 102).

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 the break-up cookbook

“I was excited for my boyfriend

of four years to visit me during my
semester abroad in London. We had plans
to vacation in Amsterdam. About 15
minutes into the flight heading to
Amsterdam, he broke up with me and
suggested we spend the next 10 days
together as friends—with benefits,
of course.” —Lynne

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 the break-up cookbook

No Banana (I’m a Lady) Pudding

I’m completely aware of the irony of including a banana pudding recipe that
doesn’t require bananas in a book about “not getting any,” yet I couldn’t resist for
two reasons. First, because I love banana pudding and I make no apologies for
my admiration. Second, sometimes a girl gets tired of playing second banana to
a moron. However, you can definitely put a banana in your pudding—just don’t
confuse it with a commitment.

{
ingredients
1 box instant banana cream pudding mix
1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
2 cups of heavy cream, chilled “I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man
½ cup milk I keep his house.”
1 loaf of pre-made pound cake Zsa Zsa Gabor

directions
Blend sweetened condensed milk, milk, heavy cream, and instant banana cream
pudding mix with an electric mixer until it begins to peak and stiffen.

Set pudding aside to chill for one hour. Separately, slice your pre-made pound
cake into chunks and place them on a cookie sheet. Bake your cake chunks in
the oven at 275 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 minutes. You’re just trying to remove
some of the moisture from your cake so your pudding isn’t soggy. Allow your
cake to cool then fold the pieces into your banana pudding. Serve.

Note: If you truly want bananas in your banana pudding, add two sliced bananas
dipped in lemon juice to this recipe. Th e lemon juice will keep your fruit from
browning prematurely.

67
 the break-up cookbook

Lemon Tart
I’ve always been a little “tarty” and I’m pretty sure that lemon is my favorite. I
love making this tart when I have company coming over. It’s fresh and light
enough for the girls to say, “Sure, I’ll have a piece.” and delicious enough for
them to want to sneak a second.

ingredients
⅓ cup lemon juice
3 tablespoons lemon zest
½ cup powdered white sugar
½ cup heavy cream
3 egg yolks “Sie richen wie eine Ziege. ”
German for “You smell like a goat.”
¼ cup unsalted butter, melted
3 tablespoons sour cream
1 baked shell made from Flakey Pie Crust (recipe, pg. 190)
powdered sugar

directions
Heat your oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Press your Flakey Pie Crust into a 9-
inch fl an tin. Prick the bottom of your crust and bake your it until it’s a light
golden brown color. Set aside to cool.

In a mixing bowl beat together lemon juice, lemon zest, powdered sugar, heavy
cream, egg yolks, melted unsalted butter, and sour cream. Pour your filling into
your tart pan.

Bake your tart for 20 minutes. Don’t worry if your tart is runny in the center, it
will set when it cools. When firm, sprinkle your tart with powdered sugar.

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 the break-up cookbook

The 4 Friends Every Single Girl Should Have

Dorothy might not have found her way to Oz if it hadn’t been for her friends Toto, Tin Man,
Scarecrow, and Cowardly Lion. So which one of your friends can help you on your way to finding
Singledom? Here are the four single friends that every newly single girl should have.

SOCIAL BUTTERFLY
In business, it’s not always about what you know, but who you know. Having a
social butterfly in your group may bring you closer to Mr. Right—or Mr. Right
Now. The social butterfly is good at making new friends and connections that may
lead to you finding a new love interest.

HOPELESS ROMANTIC
No matter how bad your romantic life may be, the hopeless romantic can
always pull you out of your love sick funk with a heathy dose of positivity.
Although this friend’s unfailing optimism and spirited good nature can be
really annoying, the hopeless romantic can also give you the push you need
to believe that your next great relationship could be just around the corner.

PRAGMATIST
You should have at least one friend who can see through your
emotional baggage. Equipped with both a 401K and a life
insurance policy, this uber-responsible friend can tell you when
you’re acting a little nuts.

LUNATIC
It’s either by luck or sheer brilliance that your one crazy friend hasn’t been
arrested. Known to dance on tables and get into bar fights, the lunatic is
always up for one more crazy adventure. When you’re walking on the dark
side, she’s the one who has your back.

71
 the break-up cookbook

Pecan Pralines
There’s only one secret to making these Pecan Pralines: timing. Cook them too
fast and you’ll end up with something burnt. But cook too slowly, and you’ll
wonder why they never seemed to come together. But making these Pecan
Pralines with a little time, effort and luck are well worth the wait.

ingredients
2 cups whole pecans SOME
THIN
1 cups white sugar NEW? G
For a d
ifferent
½ cup brown sugar using p flavor, t
eanuts ry
2 tablespoons light corn syrup instead o r cashew
s
1 cup heavy cream addition of (or in
to) pec
ans.
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup of butter

directions
Cover a cookie sheet with parchment paper. In a saucepan over medium heat,
melt white sugar, brown sugar, light corn syrup, heavy cream, and butter
together. Stir your sugar constantly to prevent it from scorching at the bottom.

When sugar begins to caramelize, it takes on an amber color and has the
consistency of melted chocolate. If you have a candy thermometer, sugar
reaches the caramelization stage between 320 to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
Caramelized sugar looks fantastic in the pan, but rest assured, if you try to taste
test now you’re sure to burn your tongue. When you sugar has caramelized, add
in your vanilla extract and pecans, coating them thoroughly.

Then, over your prepared parchment paper, spoon your pralines into silver
dollar sized lumps. Allow pralines to harden then serve.

“Usted es más feo que una cabra.”

Spanish for “You are uglier than a goat.”

72
 the break-up cookbook

“[There was a] guy

who told me that he
wasn’t sure what was
‘wrong,’ but that he felt happy
when we were together which
confused him to the point
that I never heard from
him again.”—Darby

73
 the break-up cookbook

Totally Chocolate Fudged

In 1888, Vassar College student Emelyn Ba ersby Hartridge wrote down the rst recipe
for fudge. In the same year Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh infamously cuts o the
lower part of his own le ear. W hile these two facts are unrelated, I’d like to think that
it’s just another example of how women handle disappointment be er than men.

ingredients
4 ounces baking semisweet chocolate squares, chopped TIP
1 cup evaporated milk Humid
makes weather
f
3 cups white sugar and it d udge grainy
oesn’t s
For bet e
2 tablespoons light corn syrup ter fud t well.
on a da g e , cook
½ cup bu er y with
2 tablespoons cocoa powder humidit low
y.

directions
Line a nonstick pan, of at least 9 inches width and two inches in height, with
parchment paper. Make sure to cover over the side of the pan and press down the
corners. In a saucepan, cook evaporated milk, white sugar, and light corn syrup on low
heat to dissolve the sugar. You’ll know that your sugar has dissolved when you don’t feel
li le granules when you rub a bit of your mixture between your ngers.

Add your chopped chocolate to your sugar, mixing well until it melts. Clip your candy
thermometer to your saucepan then heat your fudge gradually to between 234 and 240
degrees Fahrenheit. Do not stir. Remove your fudge from the heat and pour it into a
mixing bowl. Do not scrape the fudge from the side of your saucepan. Place your bu er
on top of your fudge and allow it to cool undisturbed (don’t stir it) to 110 degrees
Fahrenheit.

Add your vanilla extract to your fudge then stir vigorously with a wooden spoon to
incorporate air. W hen your fudge starts to loose its gloss, pour it into your lined pan and
cool to room temperature. W hen your fudge has thickened, score the top of it in the pan
into small square pieces. Dust your fudge with cocoa powder. Set your fudge aside on
the counter until rm. Remove your fudge from the pan by li ing up on the parchment
paper and cut into your fudge along the score marks. Makes 3 lbs. of fudge.

94
 the break-up cookbook

“My ex used to pester

me all the time about losing
weight. He’d leave little notes on
the refrigerator or make beeping
noises behind my back. He was a real
jerk. When I started to work out again,
he got more abusive and I decided
enough was enough. I tell you taking
off that extra 200 pounds of ex-
boyfriend did wonders for my
self esteem.” —Carol Anne
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the break-up cookbook
 the break-up cookbook

Fried Plantains
My friends are some of the nicest women I know. They’re beautiful and talented.
They run they’re own businesses and run marathons. To me, they’re all saints.
Why are they still single? Boys are stupid. Here’s another recipe that doesn’t take
a rocket scientist to close the deal.

ingredients
1 very ripe plantain, yellow
2 tablespoons lemon juice
powdered sugar
salt
butter

directions
Peel your plantain under cold water, removing the tough outer skin. Slice your
plantains in thick 2-inch diagonal slices and set aside in a small mixing bowl. In
a skillet, heat your butter. Toss, your plantains in lemon juice then carefully
place the pieces in your melted butter.

Fry your plantains until they have turned a crispy golden color. Remove your
plantains from the oil then sprinkle with powdered sugar.

97
the break-up cookbook

closing notes
I hope that by reaching the end of this book that you're
feeling a bit better than when you began. Maybe you're laughing a
little more or have decided to work on a goal that you've been
sitting on for awhile. Whatever the case, I wish you the best of luck
in your next relationship.

I hope by reading this book, you'll find a new favorite recipe,

laugh at my jokes, and recommend it to a friend. I worked really
hard to make sure that this book could be used by even beginner
cooks, to make something delicious. Believe me, I'm no Martha
Stewart or Rachael Ray, and if I can do it ... so can you.

As you can see, most of the recipes are for things things that
you're probably already familiar with. I've spent the better part of
the last two years, testing and retesting this book to make sure
that you're not going to run into too much trouble. Recipes that I
found to be a bit too difficult, time consuming, or required hard-to-
find ingredients were tossed.

When I was beginning the journey of this book and meeting

with publishers, one nice gentlemen asked, "Do you really want to
be known as the 'break-up' girl?" Up until then, the only people who
had known about my lackluster dating history were a few close
friends. I shuddered to think what would happen to my reputation
with a full-blown public relations campaign behind me. If anything,
most people would believe, and rightly so that I'm a cynic and I
 the break-up cookbook

don't believe in relationships. But nothing could be further from

the truth. That's right folks, I admit it, I believe in relationships
and I cry at weddings. I believe in love. I believe in love at first
sight.

And because I believe in love so strongly, I relish the pursuit

of love. Trust me, it's a lot more fun playing the game than sitting
on the bench. So what if you catch a line drive with your face? Next
time just wear a helmet. When your friends say, "Everything
happens for a reason," believe it. Through dating, I've found that
there's essentially two types of relationships. The first are journey
relationships, they're the relationships that show you parts of
yourself, both positive and negative, that you would not have found
otherwise. The second relationship, is a destination relationship. In
this relationship you truly feel like yourself. To me there's nothing
wrong with asking, "Are you the one whose meant to get me to my
destination, or have I already arrived?"

More than anything, I believe

when love goes wrong, there's nothing
more satisfying then burning all of those
hurt feelings to the ground and starting
over. Whether your break-up is happy or
sad, be thankful it's an ending.

Eat in moderation. Love in excess!

xoxo, Nicole
the Temperature
BREAK-UP ℉ ℃
kitchen basics 225℉ 110℃ very slow, warm

Measurements 250 120 very slow, warm

275 140 slow, warmer

Liquid
Standard Equivalent
Equivalent
300 150 slow, warmer
one pinch 1/16 tsp.
or dash 325 160 warm, moderate temperature

1 tsp. 5 ml ⅙ ounce
350 180 moderate temperature
3 tsps. 1 tbsp. ½ ounce
375 190 fairly hot
4 tbsps. ¼ cup 2 ounces
400 200 fairly hot
⅓ cup 5 tbsps. + 3 ounces
1 tsp. 425 220 hot
½ cup 8 tbsps. 3 ounces
450 230 very hot
1 cup 16 tbsp. 8 ounces
475 240 very hot
2 cups 1 pint
(16 ounces)

4 cups 1 quart European Equivalents

(32 ounces)
Liquids Weight
2 pints 1 gallon
(128 ¼ teaspoon = 1 ml 1 ounce = 30 grams
ounces)
½ teaspoon = 2 ml 2 ounces = 60 grams
8 quarts 1 peck
1 teaspoon = 5 ml 3 ounces = 90 grams

1 tablespoon = 20 ml 4 ounces = 125 grams

¼ cup = 60 ml 8 ounces = 225 grams

⅓ cup = 80 ml 16 ounces = 500 grams

½ cup = 125 ml

⅔ cup = 170 ml

¾ cup = 190 ml

1 cup = 250 ml

1 quart = 1 liter
 Shop Smart
HOW TO

Just because I love to bake doesn’t mean that I like to spend a lot of money. In fact
it’s just the opposite. When I wrote this book, I used a lot of the same basic ingredients
over and over again, so I found it was much easier to purchase these things in bulk and
save myself some pocket change. The following list is by no means exhaustive, but with a
little creativity it will help you watch your bottom line.

Tools of the Trade

Hot n’ Sexy Apron

Nestled Mixing Bowls
Liquid Measuring Cup
Dry Measuring Cups
Large Saucepan Shopping
Casserole Dish List
Cheese Grater
Basics
white flo
Wine Cork with Bottle Opener ur Perishable
Colander corn star s
ch new Pota
Stock Pots
honey t oes
Butcher Knives white onio
Cutting Board active dry ns
yeast eggs
Cookie Sheet white and
Candy Thermometer light brow milk
condense n sugar
Wooden and Metal Serving Ware d + evapo garlic clo
rated milk ves
Cake Tins unsweete
Whisk n e d baker’s
unsalted chocolat
Electric Mixer butter e
lemon juic Seasoning
Food Processor
e s
Ice Cream Machine salt
baking po
w der and b basil
aking sod
a
oregano
extra virg
Frozen Fa in olive o
re il
chicken pumpkin
pie spice
lean grou vanilla ext
nd beef ract
 the break-up cookbook

Index
30-Day Break-up Plan, e pg. 114-115 Frank, pg. 101; Greta, pg. 37; Helena, pg. 203 ;
Jocelyn, pg. 181; Jules, pg. 103; Kimberly, pg. 92;

A
Kisha, pg. 203; Laura, pg. 62; Lindsay, pg. 43;
Luann, pg. 16; Luanne, pg. 133; Lynne, pg. 66;
Mark, pg. 101; Nathan, pg. 101; Nicole, pg. 153;
"All About Eve", pg. 93 Rachel, pg. 159; Rebecca, pg. 149; Ryan, pg. 101;
Angelou, Maya pg. 135 Stephanie, pg. 82; Trisha, pg. 209; Veronica, pg. 95;
AM PM Meatloaf, pg. 195 Yve e, pg. 146
Anatomy of a Commitment Phobe, pg. 78-79
Angel Food Cake, pg. 69 Broiled Lobster Tail, pg. 126
Apple Milkshake, pg. 110 Bu alo Wings, pg. 36
Apple Pie, pg. 182 Bu aface Sugar Cookies, pg. 14
Are you ready for a new relationship?, pg. 176-177 Bu erscotch Sauce, pg. 105
Avocado Mayonnaise, pg. 33

Bake Potato Quesadilla, pg. 152

Baked Potato Pizza, 158
C
Caramel Apple Ice Cream, pg. 112

B Caramel Sauce, pg. 112

Carry Me Over Chicken Curry Dip, pg. 53
Cayenne Pineapple Ice Cream, pg. 119
Bananas
Bananas Foster Cream Pie, pg. 186; Banana Celebrities
Milkshake, pg. 110; Fried Plantains, pg. 97; No Amy Winehouse, pg. 50; Angelina Jolie, pg. 143;
Banana (I'm a Lady) Pudding, pg. 66 Barbie, pg. 118; Be e Midler, pg. 142; Ben A eck,
pg. 143; Beyoncé, pg. 50; Brad Pi , pg. 143; Billy
Bananas Foster Cream Pie, pg. 186 Bob orton, pg. 143; Britney Spears, pg. 51;
Banana Milkshake, pg. 110 Cher, pg. 51, pg. 211; Cynthia Nixon, pg. 117;
Basil Pesto, pg. 172 Danny DeVito , pg. 142; Deepak Chopra, pg. 139;
Beef Fajitas, pg. 153 Diane Keaton, pg. 142; Diane Lane, pg. 142; Dr.
Beet Red Velvet Cake, pg. 74 Phil, pg. 61; Drew Barrymore, pg. 143; Edward
Black n' Blueberry Cobbler, pg. 187 Norton, pg. 143; Emelyn Ba ersby Hartridge , pg.
Blueberry Cream Tart, pg. 184 94; Erykah Badu, pg. 51; Janice Joplin, pg. 17;
Boys are Stupid, pg. 39 Jennifer Lopez, pg. 143; John Cusak, pg. 143;
Break-up Party emes, pg. 30-32 Jonathan Swi , pg. 190; Gloria Gaynor, pg. 51;
Goldie Hawn, pg. 142; Hugh Grant, pg.
Break-up Stories 142;Jennifer Lopez, pg. 143; Jim Carrey, pg. 143;
Adanna, pg. 81; Allison, pg. 125; Angela, pg. 32; Julie Delphy, pg. 102; Justin Timberlake, pg. 51;
Barbara, pg. 56; Bruno, pg. 101; Carol Anne, pg. Kathleen Turner, pg. 142; Kelly Clarkson, pg. 50;
91; Carol, pg. 200; Caroline, pg. 204; Crystal, pg. Kim Kardashian, pg. 42; Kurt Vonnegut, pg. 198;
87; Darby, pg. 73; Debra, pg. 12; Emma, pg. 40; Lady Gaga, pg. 77; Mae West, pg. 64; Maya
218

Angelou, pg. 135; Michael Douglas, pg. 142;
Miranda Ingram, pg. 61; Nancy Sinatra, pg. 51;
Nicole Kidman, pg. 143; Pat Benatar, pg. 50; Ray
Charles, pg. 50; Renée Zellweger, pg. 142; Rita
Rudner pg. 20, pg. 148; Sarah Jessica Parker, pg.
63; Wendy Liebman, pg. 87; Vince Vaughn, pg.
143; Quentin Crisp, pg. 19; Vincent Van Gogh,
pg. 94; Zsa Zsa Gabor, pg. 67
Cheatin' Batter-fried Onion Rings, pg. 141
Cheese
Bake Potato Quesadilla, pg. 152; Baked Potato
Pizza, 158; Cream Cheese Frosting, pg. 74; Ham
and Cheese Calzone, pg. 157; Fried Cheese
Curds, pg. 147; Fried Mozzarella, pg. 146; Greek
Pizza, The pg. 167; Hit the Road Jack Cheese
Sauce, pg. 57; Lip Smack'n Mac n' Cheese, pg.
196; Loaded Potato Skins, pg. 45; Oughtta Choke
'em Cheese Dip, 53; Ultimate Grilled Cheese, pg.
129; Warm Spinach Dip, pg. 56; White Pizza
Sauce, pg. 172
Cher, pg. 211
Cherry Nut Ice Cream, pg. 117
Chicken
Barbecue Wings, pg. 44; Buffalo Wings, pg. 36;
Carry Me Over Chicken Curry Dip, pg. 53; He's a
Chicken Salad Melt, pg. 130; Southern Fried
Chicken, pg. 202; Tequila Chicken Tacos, pg. 150;
White Chicken Pizza, pg. 169; Why Not Me
Wasabi Chicken Fingers, pg. 46
Chock Full of Nuts Ice Cream Pie, pg. 185
Chocolate
Beet Red Velvet Cake, pg. 74; Chocolate Ganache,
pg. 102; Chocolate Ice Cream, pg. 102; Chocolate
Milkshake, pg. 110; Guinness Chocolate
the break-up cookbook
Brownies, pg. 86; Knock 'em Dead Flourless
Chocolate Cake, pg. 62; Peanut Butter Nutella
Cookies, pg. 15; Peppermint Chip Ice Cream, pg.
109; Peppermint Chip Milkshake, pg. 110; Rocky
Road Cheesecake, pg. 77; Chock Full of Nuts Ice
Cream Pie, pg. 185; Totally Chocolate Chipped
Cookies, pg. 12; Totally Chocolate Fudged, pg.
94;
Chocolate Ganache, pg. 102
Chocolate Ice Cream, pg. 102
Chocolate Milkshake, pg. 110
Chopra, Deepak pg. 139
Co
Cocktails & Libations
Boys are Stupid, pg. 39; Cranberry Cooler, pg. 38;
Dirty Bastard, pg. 39; Mint Lemonade, pg. 199;
Mojito, pg. 38; Old Fashioned Lemonade, pg.
199; Passion Fruit Margarita, pg. 38; Piña Colada,
pg. 39; Pomegranate Margarita, pg. 38;
Pomegranate Mojito, pg. 39; Sangria Blanco, pg.
39; Sucker Punch, pg. 199; Strawberry Margarita,
pg. 39; Sweet Tea, pg. 199
Chunky Guacamole, pg. 35
Cinnamon Sugar Wontons, pg. 92
Classic BLT, pg. 131
Coconut Bread Pudding, pg. 80
Coffee Ice Cream, pg. 111
Cola Spare Ribs, pg. 201
Collard Greens, pg. 207
Corn Flour Pizza Crust, pg. 174
Crackle Pop Caramel Corn, pg. 48
Cranberry Cooler, pg. 38
Cranberry Oatmeal Cookies, pg. 25
Cream Cheese Frosting, pg. 74
Creamy Lemon Ice Cream, pg. 106
Crisp, Quentin pg. 19
Cubano, pg. 134
219
 the break-up cookbook

D I
Insult-o-Rama, pg. 108
Danger Dogs, pg. 148 Ingram, Miranda pg. 61
Dear Ex, pg. 139 Joplin, Janice pg. 17
Delphy, Julie pg. 102 Key Lime Cheese Cake, pg. 65
Dirty Bastard, pg. 39 Kardashian, Kim pg. 42
Double Chocolate Cookies, pg. 16 Kiss My Sweet Biscuits, pg. 210
Dropped Apple Fritters, pg. 82 Knock 'em Dead Flourless Chocolate Cake, pg. 62
Easy Hummus, pg. 55
Flakey Pie Crust, pg. 190
Four Friends Every Single Girl Should Have, pg. 71
French Fries, pg. 138
L
Fresh Tortilla Chips, pg. 34 Lady Gaga, pg. 77
Fried Cheese Curds, pg. 147 Lavender Almond Ice Cream, pg. 113
Fried Green Tomatoes, pg. 145 Lavender Sugar, pg. 113
Fried Mozzarella, pg. 146
Fried Plantains, pg. 97 Lemon
Fried Zucchini, pg. 145 Creamy Lemon Ice Cream, pg. 106; Lemon Tart,
pg. 70; Gotta Lemon Almond Cookies, pg. 20;

G Old Fashioned Lemonade, pg. 199

Lemon Tart, pg. 70

Gabor, Zsa Zsa pg. 67 Lemonade, pg. 199
"General Hospital", pg. 13 Liebman, Wendy pg. 87
Gift Ideas, pg. 31 Lip Smack'n Mac n' Cheese, pg. 196
Gingerbread Cookies, pg. 21 Little Devil Spicy Sliders, pg. 32
Gotta Lemon Almond Cookies, pg. 20 Loaded Potato Skins, pg. 45
Greek Pizza, The pg. 167 Loaded Rice Cereal Bars, pg. 49
Green (with Envy) Tea Cookies, pg. 19 Lobster Roll, pg. 126
Green Bean Casserole, pg. 206 Love Signsy, pg. 170-171
Guinness Chocolate Brownies, pg. 86
Ham and Cheese Calzone, pg. 157
Hawaiian Pizza, pg. 166
He's a Chicken Salad Melt, pg. 130
M
Hit the Road Jack Cheese Sauce, pg. 57 Mad Libs
Homestyle Applesauce, pg. 212 pg. 85, pg. 178
How To Help a Friend Whose Been Dumped, pg. 52
Mango Ice Cream, pg. 118
Maple Nut Ice Cream, pg. 120

220

Margherita Pizza, pg. 161
Mashed Potatoes, pg. 208
Mint Lemonade, pg. 199
Mojito, pg. 38
Monkey Bread, pg. 211
Monroe, Marilyn pg. 11
Monte Cristo Sandwich, pg. 133
"Murphy's Laws of Sex", pg. 159
N Pomegranate Margarita, pg. 38
Nacho Man Anymore Nachos, pg. 42
New York Style Cheesecake, pg. 64
Nixon, Cynthia pg. 117
No Banana (I'm a Lady) Pudding, pg. 66
Not Your Baby Carrot Ice Cream, pg. 117
O Q-R
Old Fashioned Cornbread, pg. 209
Old Fashioned Lemonade, pg. 199
Old Fashioned Pot Roast, pg. 198
Oughtta Choke 'em Cheese Dip, 53
P Rachel Sandwich, pg. 137
Party Themes, pg. 30-32
Parker, Sarah Jessica pg. 63
Passion Fruit Margarita, pg. 38
Playlist, pg. 50-51
Peach Cobbler Cheesecake, pg. 88
Peach Pineapple Cobbler, pg. 180
Peanut Butter Nutella Cookies, pg. 15
Peanut Butter Ice Cream, pg. 116
Peanut Butter Milkshake, pg. 110
Pecan Pralines, pg. 72
Peppermint Chip Ice Cream, pg. 109
Peppermint Chip Milkshake, pg. 110
the break-up cookbook
Piña Colada, pg. 39
Pineapple
Boys are Stupid, pg. 39; Cayenne Pineapple Ice
Cream, pg. 119; Hawaiian Pizza, pg. 166; Little
Devil Spicy Sliders, pg. 32; Peach Pineapple
Cobbler, pg. 180; Piña Colada, pg. 39; Sangria
Blanco, pg. 39
Pomegranate Mojito, pg. 39
Pomegranate Mousse, pg. 90
Pomegranate Pistachio Ice Cream, pg. 109
Pop's Pineapple Fritters, pg. 40
Potato Fried Fish, pg. 135
Pralines and Cream Ice Cream, pg. 105
Prosciutto Pizza, pg. 165
Quizzes
Are you a drama queen?, pg. 76; What's you break-
up style?, pg. 54; What sort of ex-girlfriend are
you? pg. 151; What sort of revenge suits you?, pg.
121
Raspberry Chip Ice Cream, pg. 107
Raspberry Cobbler, pg. 178
Revenge
Buried Treasure Tutorial, pg. 163
Fun with Numbers Tutorial, pg. 89
Insult-o-Rama, pg. 108
She Do Voodoo Doll Tutorial, pg. 140
UV Sorry Now Tutorial, pg. 128
Roasted Red Pepper Hummus, pg. 55
Roasted Vegetable Pizza, pg. 162
221
 the break-up cookbook

Rocky Road Cheesecake, pg. 77 Traditional Margarita, pg. 38

Rudner, Rita pg. 20, pg. 148 Traditional Pizza Crust, pg. 173
Rueben Sandwich, pg. 137 Triple Berry Compote, pg. 69
Russian Barbecued Wings, pg. 44 Tuna Melt, pg. 136

S U
Sangria Blanco, pg. 39 Ultimate Grilled Cheese, pg. 129
Seven Deadly Break-up Sins, The, pg. 22-23 Ultimate White Pizza, pg. 164
She Did What!?, pg. 101

V
Signs Your Relationship is Over, pg. 132
Simple Pizza Sauce, pg. 172

Social Networking Vanilla Ice Cream, pg. 104

Facebook, pg. 73, pg. 115, pg. 176; Farmville, pg. Veggie Melt, pg. 131
177; Twitter, pg. 86 Vonnegut, Kurt pg. 198
Warm Spinach Dip, pg. 56
Southern Fried Chicken, pg. 202 West, Mae pg. 64
Southern Style Crab Cakes, pg. 204 What To Expect When You're Rejecting, pg. 18
Spicy Tomato Salsa, pg. 35 Whipped Cream, pg. 106
Strawberry Ice Cream, pg. 104 White Chicken Pizza, pg. 169
Strawberry Margarita, pg. 39 White Chocolate Macadamia Cookies, pg. 24
Strawberry Milkshake, pg. 110 White Pizza Sauce, pg. 172
Strawberry Rhubarb Pie, pg. 183 Whole Wheat Pizza Crust, pg. 175
Strawberry Swirl Cheesecake, pg. 68 Why Not Me Wasabi Chicken Fingers, pg. 46
Stuffed Spinach Pizza, pg. 168
Sweet n' Soured Buffalo Wings, pg. 47
Sweet Potato Cheesecake, pg. 84
Sweet Potato Fries, pg. 144
Sweet Potato Pie, pg. 188
Sweet Tea, pg. 199

T
Ten Best Pick-Me-Up Movies for Single Girls, pg. 142
Ten Worst Rebound Guys … , pg. 191
Tequila Chicken Tacos, pg. 150
Three Reasons Why..., pg. 160
Totally Chocolate Chipped Cookies, pg. 12
Totally Chocolate Fudged, pg. 94

222