As Graham Greene declared, the writers gather experiences during the first twenty years; the Commented [S1]:

ted [S1]: If you are introducing the author and

rest is observation. (67) proving a page number, then you need to introduce the text
title.
Strasser asserts that writing should be more than sophisticated sentence structure and nuanced Commented [S2]: The period goes after the source
word choice (200) reference. For example, the rest is observation (67).
Commented [S3]: Again, name the source.
By reading these quotes, a reflection about the importance of personal writing has to be
considered. Remembering when we started to write, as well as our first writings and the Commented [S4]: First time introduction of author needs
first and last name. Then refer by the last name.
evolution as writers is something important during our college studies too. With this said,
people start getting familiarized with writing by using a personal style, which becomes more
isolated as the years goes by in someones education. Commented [S5]: Nice job! I like the introduction and it is
interesting. However, introducing a quote in your
introductory paragraph is not necessary. Alternatively, you
may paraphrase it just like the previous one.
Despite the importance given to detached writing style, personal writing should be considered
just as important in college writing. Commented [S6]: Good Point

In the majors related with Arts and Letters, personal writing can be used more frequently
without affecting the writings quality
The student writing book (2009) accords that the theories and the content from this field are
more subjective than other studies as science or engineering.
Arts and humanities genres use to have a personal and engaging style because of its less
prescriptive in language. When the main themes of focus are the human experiences or ideas,
personal writing does not affect the value of the content.
Commented [S7]: Good source. I think you need to be
more specific about the student writing handbook. There
are many student handbooks. If you are talking about the
CSUS handbook then you need to mention that specifically.
Remember your audience.
Commented [S8]: Solid conclusion connecting to the
point.

For being a good professor/teacher, personal writing should be taught more in the higher years
of education, without leaving it in a second plane during the college studies.
According to Strasser (2014), teachers have to encourage students themselves to write about Commented [S9]: I do not know why you are mentioning
their life and own experiences. the year.

In the same writing, Strasser (2014) suggest the teachers not to separate even more the two
types of writing for achieving a better writing from part of the student.
During studies, unattached writing is more used, and required for the majority of professors.
Nevertheless, it should not be a problem if the student has difficulties to use it or to teach them
assignments related with personal writing. Personal writing helps students to explain their
experiences and ideas more easily in most of cases.
Just by using unattached writing style, a paper is not better or more understandable.
As seen it the study carried out by Penrose and Geiser (1994), the lack of authority is sometimes Commented [S10]: Found the mistake?
reflected with an incorrect use of unattached style, which creates confusion
During Penrose and Geisers research (1994), a simple, personal explanation written by a
doctorate student shows a completely authority inside the conversation of ethics.
In the article writing that matters, Strasser states that students abilities to construct Commented [S11]: Excellent!
complicated grammatical structures will not be put to meaningful purposes.(200) Commented [S12]: Found the mistake?

The importance given to the academic writing is present in most of courses. However, its use
does not mean a correct use of the style and a coherent work. Students have to learn that an
easier explanation of their ideas might be more adequate and successful than a complicated,
nonsense writing. In most of the circumstances, personal writing explains better the topic of
discussion.

Personal writing also can be used when it is time to create drafts, even if they have to be in a
more academic style.
The author Lamott states, Just get it all down in paper, because there may be something great
in those six crazy pages that you would never have gotten to by more rational, grown-up
means(528)
Lamott (2014) reflects how hard it can be to find the right words and sentences in most of the
time.
Creating a first draft directly by using a complicated writing style can not be a good tool. As
stated in the previous quotes, it is better to write down the ideas by using the most familiarized,
personal style for achieving a better reflection of the themes that are going to be discussed in
the paper.

Students have to be able to dominate every style of writing.

McCarthy (2014) describes a successful student as those who can determine what constitutes
appropriate texts in each classroom by interacting with teachers during the lessons and
assignments.
Arriving at college does not mean put the personal style aside; this can be used in the same
quantity as academic writing for not forgetting it, and improve it for the future career of the
student. As stated on a previous point, it is a good way to reflect the personal ideas and give
voice to students, so it is continuously studying is something worth.

To achieve this, Pennrose and Geiser suggest an alternative to of information-transfer academic

model (1994)
The authors defend that this alternative model would encourage and value students' individual Commented [S13]: The repetition of the same errors is
found in this section. According to my previous comments,
voices in class (14) you may implement the changes.
This information-transfer model which we are used to, limits the use of rhetoric in students.
The compilation of information that academic styles promotes sometimes makes it difficult
using rhetoric due to the lack of encouragement of self-expression. On the other hand, personal
writing would help think, and more ideas and themes would appear.

Writing is an important stage for students development; it is a tool which is going to be used
during everyones career. Academic writing is reinforced during college, but this not necessary
has to mean forgetting the personal writing that has been used previously. Moreover, personal
writing has power in some fields in arts and humanities, as journalism or philosophy. Also, for
other subjects it can also be used to make an explanation more clearly for the readers. If writers
use a complicated unattached style it will lead to a confusion and misunderstanding for the
readers, so it is nice trying to be closer and more subjective during writing. Furthermore, during
the important task of creating drafts, the personal writing is a good tool for developing the main
ideas in a simpler way.
The ability that personal writing has to reflect experiences and to give voice to students is the
strongest point of being aware of. Professors are the ones who decide if this style has to be
taught in order to let students free their minds while writing. What personal writings facilitate
is a well-resonated use of rhetoric, which is a powerful tool that makes people discus the
subject, not only gather information about it. As a consequence, personal writing makes
rhetoric stronger, and students would have more encouragement in reasoning and discussing
the subjects of study.
For this reasons, personal writing should not be forgotten during the upper stages of education;
instead, it should be as important as any other type of writing, and think about the strong
benefits it will provide to everyone that uses it. Commented [S14]: I like the conclusion. In conclusion to
my comments, I want to mention a few things. When
looking at your outline, I was specifically focusing on the
MLA style and your writing method. I did not inspect
whether your details were connecting to the introduction
and conclusion. Despite the comments provided by me,
when writing any future drafts consider your audience and
it would help you better.